Session 144: Owen Thiele Returns

Tonight on Therapist we have one of my dearest and best friends in the entire world, Owen Theo. He is so magnificent in adults and just as a friend and a comedian and I was just so lucky to have him back. I love you, thank you for coming on the show. He really, like when we were shooting adults and I did that episode with him, he really made me feel so comfortable in a space that I was really, really anxious and I will always, always, always be so grateful for that. We had like the best time in Toronto and like he's just, he's the best, Owen's the best, Owen. I love you. And in case you missed it, Sour Puss has officially launched in Target. Please let me know if you've tried it. If you like it, what your thoughts are, the flavors are cherry, strawberry and blue raspberry because you know I love berries and each octopus has different emotions because I thought that was important. If I was making a candy, I wanted it to be like me. So this is blue raspberry, it's sad and it is, I'm filming this right now during a heatwave in Los Angeles so I'm going to keep this short because I'm dripping sweat, but Pussies, I love you so much. And also thank you for the response to the Sandra Nicole episode, I was, so I don't think I had ever been more nervous in my entire life than to welcome those two Academy Award-winning movie stars into my home and the response has just made me feel so loved and I really feel so appreciative for you guys and I just love you and enjoy the episode, I love you, Pussies. Oh and Theo? Welcome back to Therapas. Wait, hi. Hi. Wait, we're kind of far away. I know because of these, I have to tell you something. This couch delish. You love? I'm sinking in. It's a little bit of a cloud couch dupe. Well, it's a cloud couch dupe. Adults is back. Adults is back. And you're on it. And I'm on it. It was crazy. We had so much fun. We had so much fun. We sound like two chat GVT's talking to each other. Of course. We had so much fun. No, we actually had the best time. But we really did. We survived a blizzard. Okay. Let's just talk about this. Yes. I don't think we were prepared for, I think the coldest days that have ever existed ever. Those were the best days of my life. They were the best day of mine too, but you have to understand, we were like, that's the coldest days that Toronto has ever seen. I know. Genuinely, I went into a coffee shop and the woman was like, are you from here? I said, no, I'm from my life. She goes, leave. Leave. Get out. She was screaming at me. Mind you, I was trying to get, do you remember I was trying to get this guy to go on a date with me and drive back? And he was like, I'll die on the road. No. Of course. I remember that. Do you remember I said, why isn't he seeing me? And you said, well, babe, the roads are ice. I said, the roads are closed. You can't even drive. Right. And you were so upset, you're like, he's using it as an excuse. He doesn't want to see me. I'm like, no, no, no, no. He's about to die for you. Right. He's gonna do it. We saw a hockey game. We saw, we saw, okay, Jake and I went to a hockey game and during the hockey game, Jake goes, let's just go get merged. And I'm like, totally, I wouldn't think they're getting a hat, by the way. I think we're a hat, maybe. I thought maybe if I liked a hat, I'd buy it. Maybe a finger phone. Exactly. I thought that. I ended up, we walked out with bags of merch, Jack, a jacket. Oh, that jacket was so cute. It was adorable. We could only wear it in Toronto. You have it. I'm dead. I'm absolutely dead. No. Okay. So, looking back at it, it's so butt ugly. Yeah. Fuck. I'm, no, no, no, but here's the deal. It just is very Toronto winter. Okay. Let me put it on for you. Okay. Put it on. Do a fashion show. It's cute on you, Jake. Anything's cute on you because you're a bite-sized, cute, a door. That is so cute. I love it now. I do want to wear it just because we filmed adults in Toronto. Totally. But I also love how you're wearing it. Right. I'm wearing it just. It's 122 degrees outside. Yeah. By the way, it's very hot. It's very hot in New York. Should we talk about, okay. Where do we begin? Well, I don't know. Where do we start? Oh, and I have been hanging out quite frequently these days. We're obsessed with each other. Obsessed? Well, I'm obsessed with you. You don't have to be obsessed with me. I'm very obsessed with you. I'm obsessed with you. And we learned how to write a joke together. We formulated a joke together. And we looked at each other and we said, is that how people do it? Is that how it's done? I go, oh, Quinta Bronson, you watch out. Yeah, no, we were, we were, we were talking back and forth and then the joke came and we were like, oh. Totally. We like our one joke that we wrote because we're writing a movie. Of course. Tell them. Should we tell them the plot of the movie or is somebody going to steal it? Someone's going to steal it. Wait, by the way, we were at dinner with people last night, they go, oh, I don't think anyone's stealing that idea. Yeah, they go, you're fine on that. We go. Oh, okay. I literally was so offended. I want everyone to want to steal my ideas, but I think my ideas are so mentally ill that no one would even think about what's their best idea besides our movie that you've had recently. I have this thing. I really want to invent it. It's an invention called the, the pro file, wait, an electric nail filer. You put it on your nail. It has safety features. Boom, you press, you press square, round, diamond, you take it off and your nail is filed perfectly. Wait. The pro file. The profile. Wait, that's amazing. I'm sorry, it's genius. So who can you pitch that to to get that made, hey, I think, Haley Bieber. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to call Haley, I feel like she would be like, no, I started the best brand in the world. I don't need to help you with your weird nail file. So who would, I don't know, I also have this, the OE pack, you buy the OE pack, okay? You buy it at an airport, okay. It has all things you would need to stay clean on an airplane. So you have like, you know, like you can put like a bag over the seat. Oh, I never do that. I know, but like, why don't, if you, if it was called the OE pack with me like this, you might. Right, I would. You know what I mean? But it's just like so like that I can't, you, I, once I lost time, you changed your sheets and put your sheets on your bed. Wait, like my bed at home. Yeah. Very recently. Oh. Wait, why, you don't do that? I can't. You don't wash your sheets. I wash my sheets in college, my freshman year, I washed them once. Once. Please. Were you having sex? Trying. Yeah. So here's it. Wait, no, not like actual sex. It was like the gay everything but totally. That's called a side. Yeah. That's like. Um, wait, so were you spraying perfume? You want my favorite thing to do? Mm-hmm. Okay, I'm going to my favorite thing to do is coming home from Aloe gem. Uh-huh. Which by the way, last time we spoke, you were like, where is my invite? I see you there every day. Jake, you've changed my life. It was you. But no, it wasn't. It was Valo gem. No, no, no. It was you. You got me in first. By saying that on your podcast, they were like, come in. And didn't, doesn't your body feel changed? I may new human being. Someone asked me if you were on peptides the other day. No. Someone said, I forget. That was a nice tell them to text me. No, they said, they said, I, is Owen on peptides? Like, can you wait? Can you ask him? I would tell you right now if I was, by the way, you know, I did take a peptide for my skin, the copper one. And you know what happened to me? Did I say this? No, it was at the GHKC. GHKC could. Yes. Exactly. GHKC. But pronounced something you shouldn't be putting into your body. But you did and what happened? I wanted to hypothermic shock. What do you mean? That's my dream. Wait, totally. You want to be called and let on, small? No. I literally, my body temperature reached, I think, 95 or 94 and my, like, you were saying this. I was freezing. I turned blue. It was horrible. It's one of those things where I then called the doctor who gave it to me that he's not a doctor. Because they're not doctors. I don't think it's after you're approved. It's not after you're approved. But I went to a doctor's office to get mine. I've read it in the fridge and I never took it because I was like, you know what? I'm just going to, this is in case of emergency. Totally. It's very in case of emergency. So my dad keeps sending me articles about it. But like, I do see photos of people that are on GHKC and I'm like, you look amazing. So it's supposed to really help the skin. And I called my doctor and I said to him, why did I go into hypothermic shock? And what happened? Why am I dying? And he said, just let your body regulate. And he said, just, just keep it up. So then I'm like, do I die for my skin? What did Jared think? Well, Jared thinks I'm crazy, right? Genuinely, everything I take or do or whatever, Jared, we were trying to leave a party the other day, us three. And I said, okay, well, can we go and Jared said, we'll just pause, Owen's walking around still. Yeah. Well, here's the deal. Do you remember that? You need to allow for like 30 to 40. Yeah. But when he was not wrong, when he was not wrong, we were standing at the front sitting. Here's the deal. I've gotten so many fights with my friends about this. I don't like to Irish, you Irish. - Oh, I'm out. - See, okay, this is the thing though. Then the next day, I can't do with this. Where'd you go? - Home. Wait, totally, it's one word. It's one in a home. - Totally. - Totally, I should just do that. - I went home. - So instead, I have to go up to them and be like, when am I seeing you? - Oh, you do. - And then I have to go, wait. Let me look at my sketch, and then I'm pulling it up, and then I'm calling people, I'm calling my agent, being like, can we just move this really fast? - I'm doing everything, I just don't want to. - Oh, and then I left a party with plans to go get drunk at a Mexican restaurant in a random parking lot in the valley with Shea Mitchell. - And by the way. - Never happened. - Never happened. - Shea, love you down. Congrats on base, never happened. - I have to be honest, is it Bayes or Bayes or Bayes? - It's Bayes. It's first of all, I'm not just saying this. Shea, congrats. It's the best suit case I've ever owned. - It's genuinely the best suit. I opened it up the other day, I go, okay, this is huge. It was a carry on. I go, I can fit my life in it. - The carry on, the carry on. It's very big. - I literally go, Jared, get in here, let me zip it up. You want to come with me to New York, I don't want to pay for your ticket. Get in the suitcase. - It's very, it's very big. - I genuinely don't think it fits in the compartment up. - No, it doesn't, it doesn't. I've had issues with that. - Shit. - But then you say like, well, what am I supposed to do? And then you're already on the plane, and they're like, well, fuck. - Totally. - We can check it. And I'm like, how, the plane's closed. - Totally. - Like, so, what do we do? Babe, you're gonna have to hold it in your lap. You say that to the flight attendant? - Talk about a flight that should be changed is I don't like the flight from LA to Toronto. - Wait, why? - Because, um. - Bumpy? - It was too short. - Okay, I'm understanding. I've never taken a flight from, I always go to New York first. Do I stop, have I ever gone straight from LA to Toronto? I don't think I have. Maybe I have. - Oh, it's on air Canada. - Yeah. - Which by the way, I don't think, I don't think I like that airline. - That's what I'm saying. - I think that's the worst airline. - It's the worst airline, the seats are cardboard. - The people are lovely. - The seats are cardboard because they're Canadian. - Well, of course. - They're lovely because they're Canadian. - I think they're crazy that all Canadians are lovely. Like, I thought that was like a stereotype. - I loved, do you prefer Toronto or Vancouver? - Can I be honest? - Yeah. - I've never, no, I have been to Vancouver. Oh my God, I have a story for you. - Tell me right now. - But we have to bleep the name. - Of course. Okay, great. So there was a band. - Okay. (beep) - I just gave it away. (laughing) - Do you know who I'm talking about? (beep) - Yeah, okay, so bleep that. (laughing) - And my friend, who you just met, don't say the name. - Yep. - Who you just met? - Lovely. - If you're listening, girl. - Lovely. - Lovely. - We love you. - She really wanted to hook up with (beep) and they were texting and DMing and wait. Come to one of my shows. And so we looked on, we looked at the website on the show and it said Toronto. No, it's at Vancouver. And we were like, kind of close to LA. - Right. - So she goes, oh my God, this is so weird. Owen's in Vancouver. I'm already visiting him. He's lying. We boarded a plane to Vancouver me and her. Boarded, yeah. Boarded a plane to Vancouver. Lied to this man, to this rock star. And we told him we were already there. We, we got, the plane is delayed. The show is at 8 p.m. that night, okay? - Okay. - We landed six. We're supposed to land at six. We ended up landing at 7.30. We're like, fuck, we sprinted to a car. We have our suitcases. I'm now paying the Uber driver in Vancouver. I'm like, just stay up here with our suitcases. - Stay with us. - Stay with our suitcases. Please, just hold our suitcases safe. We leave, we go into the venue. I'm like, he could've just stolen our whole life. - Right. - Our whole life is in the car. Anyways, he doesn't, he's a kind man. We go into the venue, we have a great night, and then the worst thing ever happens. We go back, they kind of have a flirty vibe, but nothing happens. We go back to the hotel. - So hot. - So hot. We go back to the hotel and we're like, 'cause we book a hotel room. We're like, okay. - Well, thank God. - We got away with that. We got away with that. And we thought we were already here. - Right. - As we pull up, so do they. And we have our suitcases. Imagine that. So I am opening the door with a suitcase, and I go, and I look at the bellman, and I've never in my life, I took my suitcase, and I threw it at the bellman. I said, "Get tightness." And I was like, "Hi, we're just coming to the bar. "We're just here for the bar. "We're just here for the bar." (laughing) - Oh, yeah. - Like, let's have a drink. - Yeah, let's, that's great. Let's all hang out. We were like, "Oh, totally." - Right, so did you get away with it? - We got away with it. He had no idea. - Until now. - Until right now. - Should I not be telling this? Just bleep it enough. I think it's fine. - I mean, the issue with Owen and I is all we do is gossip. - Sorry, I love it. - It's all we do. Every, everything we sit here wouldn't, but honestly, it helps our creative process. - A hundred percent. - We gossiped for two hours. We write one joke. - Totally, and that's what comedy is. - I still can't believe writing jokes is that easy. - It's, well, you're a great joke writer. - You're a great joke writer. - We're a great writer. - Well, we're like, we've recently discovered that we're creative partners. - Well, we're a dream team. - We're a dream team. - In many ways. - Can we talk about when I fell down the stairs? - Oh my God. - When we were filming adults. - Jake, I have never, in my life, her. Okay, speaking of gossip. All of a sudden, we're filming. Okay, we're in a scene. And all of a sudden, you hear. (blows raspberry) - And then it was quiet. - It was quiet. - And then you heard. - I think Jake Jain fell down the stairs. Jake Jain just fell down the stairs. Jake Jain fell down the stairs. Everyone was whispering. The whole set was ablaze. - Yeah. - So what happened? I wasn't there for it. So people were behind me. - So somebody behind me tripped, and I said, bump, bump, bump, and bumped into the wall. And I was like, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. And I had the biggest, like, gash, bump on my head. And my date had canceled on me because of the blizzard. - And we were freezing. - Well, mind you. Okay, let me just paint the picture. - Paint the picture, babe. - He did rivalry had just, came out. It just came out. - And that's why we, at a hockey game, you and I were living our damn life. - Yeah, we were like, woo! - Woo! - We were like, on the big screen, they were like, on other people. - Totally. We were like, oh, we're gay. - And in the building, hockey. - And they were like, okay. - Yeah. - And we were like, well, we're gonna go downstairs. We're gonna go downstairs, we're sitting there. - Well, I want to, of course, we were feeling hot. We were feeling like Connor's story. - Wait, Connor's story, I didn't know. I know everyone knew this. I actually didn't know that he has such a great personality. - Great butt, great butt. - Yeah, no, it's, wait, what did you watch? He did rivalry. - No, of course, no, I knew this, but recently, in pants, even. - I didn't realize. - Oh, are you talking about the pop walks in Mancouver's? - Yes. - Yeah. - It's outrageous. - Obviously, it was crazy. - Well, do you know he does like 300 squats every day? - No, that's a lie. - No, swear. He's like, I do 300 squats every single day. - I'm gonna be honest. I go to Allo Jim. I only do two squats. - I don't do squats. - I can't, my knees. How does it hurt the knees? - My knees hurt, I'm tired. I didn't squatting in my face. I'm like, I can't. But like, that's why Connor's story is Connor's story. Did you see his YSL ad? - So hot. - Like the hottest thing I've ever seen in my jail. - So hot this? - This? - Yeah, yep. And he's like, glasses. And then the best part about it is they'll cut to other people. And you're like, no, no, no, no, bring him back. - Totally. - Bring him back, bring him back. - Totally. That's a star. That's a star. When you cut to another person on screen, and then you go, wait, I actually-- - I want him back. - I want him back. That's a star. - Who else do you feel that way about? 'Cause I can tell you right now. - Okay, go. - Lena Dunham. - Oh my god, when Lena Dunham's not on screen, I am craving her. - I want her back. - Lena Dunham. - Leader. Honestly, though, you know what's weird about girls? I kind of feel that about every one of them. - Right. - I'm kind of like when Jess, when Jamima's not on screen, I'm like, bring her back. When Zasha? Zasha's an adult. - Oh, it's my phone. - Everyone's calling. - Everyone is calling me this morning. - You're a fucking asshole. - Wait, why? Why? - I called you 16 times and then I said Ryan, try. - Oh, and you answered Ryan, and not Peyton. - Whoa. - I just, I fucking knew it, too. - Oh, wait, and I missed you. - So here's the deal. Here's the honest truth. He was in the middle of a podcast episode. I'm wearing too much makeup. - Whoa. - No, you're not. - Whoa, whoa, is that only look on Cam? - Wait, what's wrong with your face? - You look awesome. - I almost like can't even let you see me right now. - Wait, oh, wait. - Wait, but this is about to go to Netflix? I just realized that. - I went on Hulu, like, please, I can't. - You know what I'm saying? (laughing) - Well, come on. Like, what are you talking about? I have that turn. (laughing) - Gaston Residence, the best. - I'm handing you back. I love Peyton. - Well, we're going out with Peyton and Ryan tonight. - We're going out tonight. - Yeah, we're going out tonight now. - Yeah, he's going coming. Is that, am I invited? - Oh, you're always invited, Ellen. - Oh my god, I feel so at home. - Thank you Seakyk for sponsoring tonight's episode. Summer might have come to a close, but that does not mean live music or live events are stopping anytime soon. As we all know, Tucker Roe model is about to embark on history. Audrey Hobert is on tour. There are still so many festivals to be seen and not only that, but it is about to be football season. If you are a football fan, there are comedy shows, there are Broadway shows, any live performance you can imagine is on SeekGeek. And you can use my code therapist for 10% off your order. The reason SeekGeek is the best place to get tickets for these events is because it rates the tickets on the scale from 1 to 10. One being not the best, 10 being the best. So you know if you are getting enough bang for your buck. Also, if you click the link in the description and download the app, it automatically applies the code therapist for 10% off your order. Katzai is also on tour right now, who I am desperate to see. There are so many incredible shows to be seen and so little time, SeekGeek helps you see all of them and then some, you can also add your location in so we can show you popular events near your area, whether that be music, comedy, Broadway, or sports. Again, that's code therapist for 10% off your order. Thank you SeekGeek for sponsoring tonight's episode. Are you ever in love before Jared? No. Jared says yes. Only Jared. It's only ever been him. Yes, no. No, I was so in love with *****. I was very in love. I had a boyfriend. What? In high school. Oh my god. I came out really early. How early? Like, 14? Me too. Oh really? Yeah. Oh, okay great. Yeah. And then to my parents like 18. Well, my parents knew I was gay the whole time. I mean I would. Yeah. No, I'm straight passing of course. No, I was wearing like leotards and so. I was like super gay. I was actually gayer than I am now, and I was pretending to be straight. Have you listened to the new choice of on-song? No. What? I know. I know. Well, that's not true. I've listened. Yes, I've listened, but I haven't. I haven't dove in. I like to dive like Phoebe. I dove in. My dad texted me about the Phoebe Bridges album. Oh my god. It's unbelievable. It's great. My favorite. Um, right now, Bobbi, I love Bobbi. We're very similar. I love Bobbi. Bobbi's the best one. It's fun. It's beautiful. It's motion sickness, but a little grown up. Wait, totally, totally. I really like it. I also like, what else do I like? I like still standing. Me too. Love. I have Bobbi still standing, then the lost reprise. I like lost weekend, lost weekend reprise, love, but I like lost weekend. I think this album might be her melodrama. OK, say that. It's beautiful. But I'm just saying that because there's a reprise on there. Totally. You see a reprise. You go, OK, melodrama. Exactly. Um, I really, really like the album. I haven't. I need to sit with the Troy song. I've only listened. I only saw the video, but I thought the video was amazing. I didn't see the video. Oh my god. The video is in-- See, that's what I heard. I heard. It's amazing. The video's amazing. Nicole Kidman. No, the video's amazing. Yeah. I don't know. You get into bed. When do you listen to your music? Oh my god. Thank you so much for asking. I wake up and I go to get coffee. I listen to music then. I wake up. Headphones. Headphones. I walk to my workout. Headphones. Headphones. Back for my workout. Headphones. Like, even if I'm with Cassidy and she sleeps over. Like, headphones. We'll both put in headphones and walk. I love that. Headphones on the way to the airport. And then when I'm sitting in my chair, I put on my TV show. Which, by the way, what are you watching? Well, it's really funny. I'm not-- I'm watching old things now. What? I'm like going back to Veepe. I'm rewatching Veepe. I'm sorry it's the best show. It's the best show of all time. I'm rewatching Mindy Project. I think it's amazing. Okay, so I've never really seen Mindy Project. Oh, Jake. Is it that good? Oh, Jake. It's one of the best sitcoms I think ever. What's the premise of the Mindy Project? Because I remember reading the pilot when I was 11 because it somehow found its way on the internet. First of all. Is it Max? She's an OBGYN. Yeah, is it Max? Who? No, I know who you're thinking of. Who's the main guy? Yeah, yeah, he's hot as fuck. Yeah, what's his name? Chris Messina? Yeah! Chris Messina is so good! And he's in the new season of White Lotus. Yes! So Mindy's an OBGYN and it just centers around her doctor life. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so fun. It is beyond funny. It's genius. You know what I need to rewatch that I haven't seen in ages is 30 Rock. I love to 30 Rock. See, yeah, I love to 30 Rock. I mean, has it been because I've only watched one season of 30 Rock? But I love it. I'm watching Silo. I don't know this. Silo is about if the world ended and everyone lives in these bunkers. But it's not like rich people bunkers. It's like bunkers. Just bunkers. And like there's like a whole system and it's been like 200 years. And if you say I want to go outside, then you have to go outside and you die. And then. Wait, what? No, it's crazy. We're back at Ferguson's and have you seen Dune? I'm so sorry. Wait, neither have I. I think we have to see Dune. There's like five of them. There's two. Sorry. And do we have to see them before the third comes out? Apparently the third's just going to be like blah blah blah. The third is going to be huge. Do you know they based Star Wars Off-Dune? They based Star Wars Off-Dune. Dune was a book. Dune with a book. A very old book. And they based Star Wars Off-Dune. Is this true, Nolan? This is 100% true. I had no. What? Uh-huh. It's so funny. Once you put Zendaya in a movie, in a reboot, it'll always work. Always. Well, has you been in any other reboot? Nope. Do you know what I mean? Zendaya in anything. Zendaya in Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Isn't it funny that if you go into the movies right now, Zendaya is an every single one. She's in the drama. She's in Spider-Man. She's in Dune. She's in Odyssey. She's in Odyssey. She's in the movie star. Sorry, I want to see her. I think she's a very modern day like Julie Roberts. She is. Ooh, I love that. I love that. Or Julia Roberts in the Odyssey. I would love to see her. Who would she be a modern day? Like, what movie star could you relate her to? That you'd be like, "Oh, that makes sense that they're in quite literally everything." Like, "Maryl Streep." But. I guess that's like, "Maryl Streep now." Yeah. Was "Maryl Streep" in everything back then? No. How old is Zendaya? 28. I'm. I'm jumping. How old is Zendaya? 29. Literally, thank God. I'm not kidding. It changes it. It changes it. But have you seen a video of her from when she was like 14? Do we shake it up? And they're like, "What are your plans this summer?" And Zendaya's like, "I'm going to go work on my craft." And that's why she's Zendaya. Sorry. Yeah, we should have known. We should have known. There were tell she was dying. She was showing up to everything she was working her ass off. She was, you know the song, "Replay." Of course, I know "Replay." ♪ All I know, all I know, replay ♪ ♪ All I know is great to you all day ♪ ♪ All I know is great to you all day ♪ Come on. I love that. Why didn't she pursue that? I can imagine her, MSG, being like, "And this one's called Replay." And this one's called Replay. And this one's called Replay. And then this one's called Replay. It's unbelievable what you - She does on my carpet. - She walks on, there's no name that they need to take a photo of. - Of course, the name is the face. - She walks that, she goes, and it's, - Of course, it's insane. - And I'm like, it's insane. - It's insane. - I have that too, but because they think I care about their grandparents. - But you do? - No, I deeply care. But do you know what I mean? It's so fun to feel famous for a second, and then you realize, oh, it's because ultimately, all these photographers have a personal relationship with you. I don't know if you guys know this about me. I feel like you probably do. I love merch. I love concert merch. Like, when I fall in love with a band or an artist, immediately I want to own merch, hence my Carly Rae Jepsen merch that I'm worried right now. And I could sell this on Deepop, but I won't, because it is very special to me. But this is an example of something you could find on Deepop. It is the best place to find second-hand clothing and merch. I could scroll that app for hours and hours and hours. If you don't know, Deepop is a fashion resale marketplace where personal taste has real value. It has really, really, really helped me hone in on my own style, which I have struggled with very much over the course of my life. And I think the reason I love Deepop so much is because you can have this conversation with the person you're buying it from, so you have a personal connection with the buyer, and it doesn't just feel like so transactional. Like, you can share your love for the piece of clothing with the person selling it. I get overwhelmed, shopping in person, and Deepop, it almost feels like a for you page for clothes, like where you can really look and add stuff and talk to people, and it feels so communicative. Also, not only just for buying Deepop is incredible for selling your clothing. There are no seller fees, which is incredible. With that being said, you can download the Deepop app right now to start selling today. Listen to your first item, only takes about a few minutes and someone out there is already searching for your style. Thank you, Deepop for sponsoring tonight's episode. If you could pick one person in the world right now to drop an album out of nowhere, a surprise it, who would it be? For me, it's Taylor Swift, same. Yeah. Or Sabrina. Sabrina. That's tough, tied, tied. Yeah, mine's Taylor. I need, I love that. Care the most if Taylor, if I picked up my phone right now when it said Taylor Swift, here's my 13th studio album. You know who I am loving so much recently that it's actually like, I'm starting to think about them like in my unconscious. Can I take a guess? Yeah. I'm gonna have three guesses. Go. Adela. Love, love, love, but no. But I love. Okay, okay, okay. Is it a boy or girl? It's a girl, of course. (laughing) When has there been a boy? Okay, okay, it's a girl. It's a clot. We've all been thinking of this person for a while, but it's really hit recently. Really hit. Is there a Larsen? Love, but no. Who? Audrey Hobart. Me. I mean, Mandy is Audrey Hobart's number one fan. I am, it's, I saw her perform in Toronto. I wasn't a museum. I'm so jealous of that. I'm going at that point. I've never seen her live. I was saw tears. Well, I've never felt more seen in my life by an artist besides Taylor Swift. Like Audrey Hobart's like literally like, I am so uncomfortable. Every photo I take of myself looks bad. Totally. I'm drunk and alone. Totally, this isn't sex in the city. Sorry. But by the way, that's my favorite song on the album. No, I mean, come on. I can't silver, Jubilee. I'ma put my drink on the drink of now. I'ma tell my sister, you say back. Wait, I like the line. I'm, I'm going to tell my sister your secrets. I'm, because I'm going to do that. I don't have a sister, but you're my sister. I like the way you've been dressing recently. Wait, really? Has Jared been dressing you? Jared always dresses me. Did he do this? Yeah, he did this. This is phenomenal. This is just jeans and a tee. It's great. Haley Bieber and Kendall Jenner once showed up to Coachella in leather jackets and jeans and changed history. OK, but they can wear anything and look good. Genuinely, I, humble brag, I got lunch with Haley the other day. And she was wearing just like an out, we were at allow. And she was wearing just yoga, pants, whatever. I tried every day to copy the outfit. And then I realized, oh, it's a sports bra. So I don't think I'll be wearing that. But she just looked so effortless. Right. Effortless. Effortless, always effortless. It's crazy. What's your favorite road product? Probably the glazing mist. OK, I have it in my bag. My favorite is the face wash. Oh, OK. I like it the little exfoliant thingies. I love that. Yeah. Have you used Alex's skin care? No, I have to. It's amazing. I have to. Reluctive. It's-- so she has this thing where it's like a butter to cake off your makeup. And you rub it on your face, and it starts melting all the makeup off your face. So it feels like a painting-- Oh, I always see this on TikTok. Everyone's obsessed with the butter. It's like very fun to use. OK, I have to do that. It's like pretty awesome. And then you like-- you turn it out. It's like a little like, ooh, ooh, a little, ooh, ah. Well, Owen, what are you therapist about today? I know what I'm therapist about. OK, what? I've been stepping in dog shit. That's it. That's it. And I'm just pissed about that. A lot. OK, the other day, I'm in a flip flop. OK, my new thing is a flip flop. My new thing is a flip flop. Oh, leave dogs are out. Wait, and it's a French thing, by the way. I went to Paris. I saw everybody in flip flops, and I said, OK. OK, you went-- OK, I clocked in that. I see. If Jonathan Anderson is making a flip flop, we're wearing it. I saw Jonathan Anderson in a flip flop. There you go, that's what I'm saying. And so I said, I'm wearing a flip flop. I'm going to flip flop. OK, sue me. It's a Javiana. Really thin. I am stepping through the city. Everyone already is like my mom. I was on FaceTime with my mom. I was like, ew, will your feet are out in New York? I'm like, oh, shut up. I'll wash them later. Time. I'm in a flip flop. I'm stomping through the park. What's the park? The Washington Square Park. I'm stomping through Washington Square Park. Oh, it's dirty. It was actually dirty. And think you about it, I'm actually getting nauseous. But I'm stomping through. All of a sudden, step in something. I go, I literally, before I move my foot, I look up, and I say, please let it be gum. At that, I would pray for gum. Shit, I'm like, I can't deal with that. I did the shit spill out of your foot. Well, so then, I press a little harder. Now, it's goopy gum. I'm really making this sound really gross. It's good getting everywhere. Not on my foot, but on the shoe. I'm like this. Did you toss them, maybe they're Javianas? No, because I love a flip flop right now, and I don't want to have to buy other Javianas. So I didn't toss them. I went to the grass, and I wiped my foot a lot on the grass. OK, actually, it was a little bit of a crevices, but it was fine. But I was needed at a lunch. So I found myself in birado, and I thought, OK, this is what I'll do. I'll take a bottle, and I'll spray my feet with it. No, mistake. Well, mistake. It's really hard to get the bottle down to your feet without the people being like, what are you doing? I know what you need to do is what I would have done. I would have taken that flip flop, because they're silicon, and I would have put it in the little drinkety fountain. And I would have, like, tossed it around in the fountain, looked around and shaved it, and went like this, and really washed it, and then sat there for a second, let it dry, and then went to birado. I definitely should have done that, because there was shit in the crevices, but I just thought no one will see it or know it's there, but they might smell it. Did they smell it? No, because I did use some rain on my-- I did get some rain, and I sprayed it all over my foot, but the woman at the store was confused why I was spraying it on your feet. Did she give a fuck? She looked at me weird for a second, but she was French, so I think she's fine. Do you like Paris? Paris, like France? Yeah. Gorgeous. I thought you meant Hilton. Oh, love Paris, hold that. I mean, the best. Do I love France? Yeah. I don't think they like me. No one's ever that nice to me in Paris. I actually find-- What? I was there for the heat wave. You're always somewhere for-- Weather event. Weather event. Yeah. I was very happy to be in Toronto for the blizzard. I agree. Wait, I just felt like Karim in subway takes. Strongly agree. What would your subway take be? I think we should be allowed to listen to Christmas music all year round. That's not a subway take. It is, but you can do that. You have your own free volition. Why are we judged for it? I wouldn't judge you. If you played Christmas music right now, I'd be like, oh, yeah, it's July. Sorry for a cake by Sabrina Carpenter is my year-long album. It's a great album. Whoa. Cindy Lou, I'm blasting it. I like the one that's like the Christmas nonsense. Love. Wait, buy me presents. Buy me presents. Oh, also Christmas nonsense. They also do that. OK, you know what is a-- I guess this isn't an underrated Christmas song, but I remember when it came out, nobody moved, but I moved. Santa, tell me by our inner grandeur. I mean, come on, wake up. Wake up. Wake up, Santa, tell me. What if you really dare? Come on, whoa. Don't make me fall in love with you. And you're not by me. Right here. Whoa. Yeah, I'm sorry. I mean, that was not that change lives. See, I mean, that, yeah. Wow. What's your favorite Christmas song of all time? I love buying me presents so much. And I love Cindy Lou. OK, but also, I love Santa so-- oh, oh, oh, oh. You know what I've really gotten into recently? It's so funny, because it's August. But I really got into, in July, I got into Santa. Can you hear me? I who? Kelly Clarkson featuring Ariana Grande. What? Is that it? But it's always this from the voice era, it is the voice era, of course. It is so good. When was it released? No one? Yep. Voice era. Voice era. Would you ever host the voice? No, because I would be like, you sound great, I guess. Oh, you're completely told that. I would just be like, sure. And I would get stressed out and then I'd be like, wait, why are they pressing their buttons and I'm not? Like, I would have no actual ground to stand on. Oh my god, I would die to be in a swivel chair. They should do the voice for stand-up comics. I wouldn't do that. I'd be horrible at that. Because I would, I kind of like, and then if you win, you get a special on Netflix. Wow. Hi. Wait, hi. Genius. That's actually genius. Sorry. Oh, really? Last comic standing. Oh. So you did create a show that exists. All right, whatever. Can we, that's what, that's what brainstorming is. Totally. We can't tell you where, should we tell them our laid off joke? No, because we have to explain the whole thing. We have to explain the joke and it's not funny if we explain it, but it's really funny. Wait, can I just say something that I was really laughing at the other day? What? I come to Jake's house and I'm sitting down on this exact, actually in this exact seat. And Jake goes, oh my god, I need to show you my magazine collection. And then he shows me this magazine that he got when he was in New York. It's the NICS. It's awesome. But I just love that you love it so much. And when I love it because that magazine, this magazine is in 20 years going to be like something that everyone wants. I agree. So you have Jalen Brunson on the cover. It's good to be King because at the time, I mean, right, I mean, as he is the King of New York right now. He is. He is. He is. Oh, wow. And then, I mean, at this point, should I show you my magazine? See, this is what I'm saying. This is what I'm saying. He shows magazines. And then, so this is my paparazzi book that I got at the East Saint Laurent. They have like a thrift store. I've never heard about this, Jared. Yes, they have like a they have like a thrift, they like, they sell like old shit there. Is it great? It's cool. I got this there. It's like a book on the history of paparazzi. It's really cool. Wow. And then I also bought an old interview magazine. Oh, my God. That is iconic. And then, I bought an old interview magazine with Brad Penn. That is iconic. Then, I have the interview magazine that I am in. That is iconic. And then, I have fade down a way, interviewed by Andy Warhol from 1981. These are unbelievable magazines. No, they're very good. This is a great magazine stack. It's a great, it's yes. It's pretty awesome. It's amazing. But at the top is the Jalen Brunson one because I, because we'll also, if you pass any place in New York, they sell it. Still this, still. King of New York. If you go to, you know what I, who I saw, Gracie Abrams did like a cover of like a magazine or something. I, I, I saw that and then she posted it. I literally walked by and then she posted it two minutes later and I was like, is she here? Gracie? Hello? Gracie. Gracie. Gracie. Oh, my God. Her album. What's your favorite song? On. Me. Well, I, I know you like Minnie Burr. I like Minnie Burr and I like look at my life. Love. When she came on the show and I heard that whole album that I heard look at my life and I said, this is the best song I've ever heard in my entire life. I love look at my life. Yeah. Um, what else is there that I like from that album? I love daughter from hell. I love, um, I love hit the wall. I know that was a single, but I do love hit the wall and I love, um, uh, give me the track list. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's the first up in my thing, of course. Um, okay. Okay. I love the knife. Okay. Get into the knife, baby. I need to get into the knife. I love good reason. Good reason. Good reason. Good reason, dude. You didn't give me a good reason. Good reason. Good reason. The last one. I'm listening and loving it. I love grace Abrams. Ooh. Can I just explain one more thing that I'll be done? Yeah. Okay. There's this thing that I've invented. I actually talked to you about this last time. I think on your podcast. I don't remember. But it's called the front follow. And basically, if you think someone's hot, you'll be really good at this. Okay. Tell me about me. Okay. So it was with my friend. And my friend was like, oh my god, that guy's so hot. So what you do is you walk in front of them. Okay. But you're kind of guessing where they're going because you want to like, you want to see them three or four times on this really only happens in New York, but you want to see them three or four times around. So how bump into them? A coffee shop. Bump into them in the next door. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah. So that they see your face and that they recognize you. And then the next one, they're like, oh my god, this is so funny. Hi. And how do you know where they're going if they're in the front? So no, we're in the front. So you have to guess. And then if you go into the right store, it's like meant to be. It's so much fun. So I'm really bad at it because I also have ADD. So I just like go into stores that I want to go into my friend and a long term boyfriend. Which makes this whole thing hard. But it's really funny. You should try it. Because then you both end up in acne and you're like, wait, this is meant to be. There's nothing better than like a real life meet cute. That's exactly what I'm creating. The only time that's ever happened to me was on an airplane. Tell me. I was coming back from Portland and some guy dropped a thing in my lap and it was like, you're really cute. Here's my number. I'm like, oh my god. Oh, man, do you remember this? And what? And I'm like, oh my god, this is like, I am Cameron Diaz in a romcom. Totally. This is like the best day of my life. I'm Kate Hudson. Totally. I get in the car on the way home and I text him and he goes, hey, are you still at the airport? I have a layover. And I'm like, what? He wanted to like fucking the airport bathroom. Would you have done it? If I had a layover, you wouldn't have had to ask me twice. Totally. As up. As up. As up. Door locked. Locked. Because I'm like at this point. Like what else? Totally. At this point. So then getting frailed in the airport. Okay. If you had to think like what time, okay, so 2026, a lot of people are saying we had a moment where it was like the 2000s or back, do you think it's like 90s era right now? Like fashion wise? Vibe wise. Vibe wise. Because I would say vibe wise. I wanted to jump down my throat for saying this, but I kind of think we're like going vibe wise, like 70s into 80s. Not fashion wise. I just feel it a little bit like, wait, why, why, why, why? Because let me, everyone's smoking cigarettes, but I think the pop star is the modern day rock band. Star as a modern day rock band. So like back in the 80s and the 70s, you had a lot of like these like rock bands, emerging. No, but you had a lot of rock bands emerging and a lot of groupies like pop star groupie culture was also like rock star groupie culture. Right. It's how I view it. So like, should we just get into the tummy? What's wrong? No, no, but I get what you're saying, but I want to know. So 70s because everyone's like kind of out on the streets. Everyone's like a hippie, everyone's like fuck consumerism, but then like we're leading into the 80s. Everyone wants to party, party, party, party, party, party. Yes. Jared, what do you think? I didn't agree more. I think I agree. Wait, really? I mean, honestly, yeah, I feel like it is late 70s into 80s. Great. Jared really agrees. I went. Jared, I love when you agree. When Jared agrees that it's really, it's gratifying. And you both went to NYU. He went to Parsons. I went to NYU. Oh, Parsons. Was Emma the first person I'm talking to Jared, was Emma the first person you ever worked with? Yeah. And how did that happen? I worked at your magazine and I styled her there and it was like pure joy and then she reached out right, like the magazine folded and as it folded, her team was a garage magazine. Have you? Do you know garage magazine? No. It's amazing. It was like me. It was like you would love your ID's sister. Got it. Mm. And then that was it. And she was a baby. She was like 19. Wow. Yeah. She was like a magazine and you're both minds has stood this test of time. I think interview. I was going to interview. Interviews done. Unbelieveable. And I'll tell you why interviews done so well is because they've hit the social game really well. The way that like I swiped through an Instagram or an interview Instagram post because it's like the way their graphics are done are very well and they've had the same format. I have no idea since it started, which was like friends interviewing friends. I mean, that's brilliant. It's brilliant. That's brilliant. And it used, and it's like, I'm like, this magazine is like Andy Warhol interviewing like whoever. Totally. And it's always been that way. It kind of led the way like that's, that's you think so. Yeah. Because I feel like everyone does that now. Yeah. They do. Yeah. Every magazine is like, Jake Shane interviewing Owen Thiel, which by the way, interview Mal. Wait. I'm pitching. Mal. And I just pitched that. Right. Just now. To Mal. Mal. Mal. We have to do that. We have to do that. And then when our movie comes out, we'll do a joint photo shoot. But who's going to interview us? I think we have to shoot for the stars. I think we've got to get Brock. It's not kidding. Us with Brock. Did you watch adults? Barack Obama? You see it. You look at me and you're like, what? I don't know. Have you seen his summer playlist? There's some stuff on there that I'm like, no way. I don't. I don't know. I hope. But also. I hope. I have this season, I'm some intimate scene, so I would-- I feel like my father watching for all this season. Um, I'm new dish, not I'm new dish. Okay. I'm not nude But I'm doing things that I could be new could be nude what was different about filming season two to season one We were just actual. I mean season one we were becoming best friends and then season two we were like We actually just knew the dynamic and we we sunk back into like being Does that mean like doing things like improv easier? So much easier. Yeah, so much easier Because like a myth and I in a scene. That's like my actual best friend. Right. So now we're just Playing you know what I mean? We're just done. Yeah, and do you is there an episode in this coming season That you're like this to me. I'm so proud of like my improvisation work Well, you know, it's so funny Ben and Rebecca the creators of adults they write such brilliant scripts that actually sometimes I'm like don't improvise. I'm like I shouldn't improvise because this is so well written I would it would actually be taking away from but you could do both you could do both I feel like there's that an episode episode for it's called raccoon um and The the premises of a raccoon has been Has been trapped in our house with us and we're on acid Oh, have you ever taken acid never neither have I should read right now So here's my thing about acid acid is the one thing I get scared to touch why cuz the brain the brain And I'm scared to be in the constant loop of the acid brain or whatever Well, I've just heard of situations where people have taken acid and then they never come out and that is like that bugs me out Totally wait. I'm by the way Extraordinary excited to go out with you tonight. I can't wait. No, Owen. I literally can't wait and I'm Ryan right now like on that face I'm he is on such good form and so is paying like You're gonna wake up and be and be like I've never drank like that before in my entire life I'm scared. No, don't be. It's fine. It's fun Okay, well, let's get into the time of what wrongs cuz talk about all over the place. Well, totally Tell me what's wrong girl. I have fallen out of sexual attraction to my spouse Like we're still genuinely best friends, but that's kind of the thing. He's giving me these weird friend vibes now I don't want to have sex with him anymore and that's kind of awkward because we just moved in together and have been together forever Um, what do I do? Invite a third right like invite a third. Well, you know my threesome story. Oh, yeah, your threesome story is awesome. I got so bored During my threesome That I had to ultimately go and do a skin care routine While Jared was while Jared finished the deed and then I walked in skin glowing after my collagen face mass 20 minutes And I walked in and I go you guys done he goes yeah, we just finished. I said great, and I'll see you out Well, you're you know my favorite story of yours is the first time you and Jared had sex and you had to pause a listen to the new Adele album Well, of course 25 had just dropped Well river lia godless know what she's saying This is Emily. Hi Don't apologize. I love your pants She's so cute. So I would invite a third. Yeah, I would invite a third because they're still your best friend like that's your partner Roll play. Have you ever done that? I've never had the opportunity to do that. I think that's fun Like go into a bar sitting in a bar your spouse walks in you go hi. I'm Ivanka. Have you guys ever done that? We've never done that We've never done that, but I'm gonna be a Vulcan lawyer. Do you think do you think you like could do it 100% put me in a wig put me in a wig I'll be anything You guys to do that just so I can hear about it. Wait also you can watch it. Yeah, I'll be at the bar Fuck it. Yeah, you're you're sobering your strings. Yeah, I'm there. So what do you guys want? Do you guys know each other? You feel like you've known each other forever. I go no Yeah, I have an accent. No, we don't My best friend cheated on his fiance and no one knows that I know his fiance found out and it's okay Go back what my best friend cheated on his fiance and no one knows that I know His fiance found out and is staying with him. Well, that makes sense because they are engaged Even though this is the second time he's cheated. Oh, I've been low-key ignoring them because I desperately want them to break up But don't want to give away that I know about the cheat ain't wait keep going keep reading Should I just ignore them or confess and tell them to break up like the wedding is soon. Why are you making this about yourself? I leave it alone leave it alone never get involved with someone else Because guess what what if what if they're open? Well, they're not. Well, they're not they're not Um, I wouldn't do anything about that. I would talk shit about it with other people and be like Can you believe that they totally I sort of group chat about it. I feel like can you believe that this is going on This is so insane, but it's not in my business totally. Why make it your business? I would talk so much shit That probably it would end up getting back to her right. Has that ever happened to you? No, that's happened to me really? So many times Owen Wait is it and friendship ending? No, I'm always because I always say Yeah, I did that and I'm sorry You own up to it because really if somebody calls you and they're like I heard you've been talking shit and you say yeah, I have I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Also. I'm hurt by this. Yeah, this thing. I'm I'm I'm I'm it's always I'm Totally If you go to them and you're like you you you they'll be like I can't out of that wait at crossroads school the high school that I went to There is this thing that they used to make us do it was Wait, what was it? I don't use it clearly, but it's like really it's it's a formal way to up to to tell someone you're they're you're hurt Yeah, it's I feel I feel hurt by this because And I learned this in volleyball when another team was upset that they You like Objectively cannot tell somebody that the way they are feeling is wrong totally you can't it's like it in a It's they're feeling it's like you can't be like you're wrong. What do you mean? That's how they feel yeah? So like you can't say that so if you tell someone I feel this way They can't be like well, that's not true. What do you mean yeah inside my mind? That's how I feel That's actually my biggest fight with my with my my dad I love you dad is him being like you don't actually feel that way and maybe like I do Right, go inside. I wonder if he says that's well usually if they're like you don't feel that way They're like they're right oh Like that will be like you I know this is not or he'll be like you feel this way But it's about something else and I'm okay. Yeah, you're bearing the lead. Yeah, totally I went on a date with this guy and he asked me if Louisiana was a state Wait, it sounds so hot. Yeah, it gave me the biggest egg. Do I give him a second chance? He also followed up it up and asked if Utah was in Colorado. Okay, no this no He's cute, but is this just too far removed from reality dash mark with a C No, it's not far removed from reality He doesn't know anything I'm gonna give him a bit of grace way of course because like you know they like there are like what if I know Okay, so the Louisiana state thing I can get passed Utah in Colorado is crazy I actually think the other way around. I'm like Louisiana. He could think was a city actually. Yeah, that's that's pretty great Louisiana like in the song Wait, what is that Alabama Alaska Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut. You've never heard this It's stunning who wrote the Georgia Hawaii Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Nana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan Wait, is that in the right order? It's like the alphabet's for the states And I don't know the rest I love that. Yeah, I was never told that. No, look there only reason I have grace and a lot of people online are like he Truly cannot be this dim and look I'm I'm not dim But because I was raised between New York and LA I I just inherently was a tad bit out of touch with like the geographics of the world So I did think Florida was at the top of the map for a very long period of my life. Uh-huh Like in a very real way. I thought it went like New York, Florida Oh, because you know what that to me Makes sense because everyone here in New York is like oh my god, we'll just pop over to Florida. It seems like it's next door It feels like it's gonna go uh like down feels like Alaska Anything down feels like Alaska We just need to go to the next one. No, but I also like Yeah, I don't know that to me Also like the only thing about this tell me what's wrong that I have a problem with is like how hot is he To what we need to see a pick. I always need to see a pick if somebody Doesn't sound like they can have a conversation with you. I gotta at least see a pick I'm so sorry if Connor story was sitting here and was like as Louisiana state. I'd be like who cares? Totally, I'd be like who gives a fuck totally. I'd be like your Connor story. It doesn't matter what you know How hot is this person? It just really depends right right right what if they're what if they are Really really hot. Uh-huh Um Uh really a hot body, but it just helped face Okay Like how hot is that? the body. Tea is bug. Doesn't matter. You don't care. You don't care about Louisiana being not being a state. They think. Wait. Wait. Wait. Yeah. I thought we were saying really great body ugly face. Yeah, and and um. That's pushing that. That's really pushing that. Would you prefer a hot body or a hot face? Hot face. Always hot face. Hot face. Always hot face. Hot face. Hot face. I love that, Bob. Love. Give me a little stomach. Give me something to grab on to. Right. Like totally. I'm slowly starting to hate my roommates. I'm single and they live together as a couple. Oh, Jesus Christ. That doesn't bother me as much as the constant being out of the living room cooking for every meal. So there's always dishes and now adopting a second cat that I will undoubtedly have to take care of sometimes. I've just gone into another year lease with them. Well, that's what on you and can't afford a move right now. Oh, totally. That's not on you anymore. I don't even really need advice. I just want to rant. Oh, I totally get it. DM me. I love a rant. Yeah. I love more. Do you know I'm in group chat? Sometimes like have you ever been put in a group chat where people are talking about you and you're in the group chat. It's like with like random people that follow you and they're like talking about you. Wait, never in my life has this happened to me and I need to happen now. It's kind of awesome. Wait, obsessed. No, I love being added to group chats where people are planning things. Like I was just added to this group chat where someone's planning their 21st birthday. And I'm in it. They just added me to read. I read some times. I read they're getting mad at each other. Yeah, it's they're like, no, I don't want Margaritas. I really want to I'm like, yes, fight for what you want. The best. The best is when they send like felt like I'm randomly and sometimes I'll randomly be in people's friend group, group chats on Instagram. And they'll like send people that they know that I have no idea who they are. And they'll like be talking shit about them. Oh, I'm always reading. Oh, yeah. It's very interesting. But in terms of this person and your lease, like if you can't get out, you should force them out. Oh, interesting. Like just be like you like clean up. Start throwing fights, make new friends and get those new friends to like take your side and be like, clean up. I think you should just have this person here at your house. Just host them me. Yeah. Open up your room to them, Jake. Open your heart to me. What song is that? Baby. What song is that? What song is that? Baby. What song is that? Something Madonna. It's so good. Oh, talk about good album. Confessions too is amazing. A mate. Sabrina. Yeah. Madonna. Oh, I got something I want to talk about. It's so hot. It's like I'd have you heard the song fragile. That by the way, no. Oh, it's the last one. What is that? fragile. I know you've been hurt, been let down. Have you ever heard of? Have you ever been singing this is making me not? No. That's percent. Have you ever heard? Okay. So, Manny has her favorite Madonna song of all time. What is it, Manny? American life. Okay. And someone give Manny the mic very quickly because I need you to do the rap. I don't know all of it. I'm drinking a soy latte. I get a double shot. It goes out through my body and you know I'm satisfied. I drive by Manny Cooper and I'm feeling super duper. Yo, they tell me I'm a trooper and you know I'm satisfied. I do yoga and Pilates and the room is full of hotties. So I'm checking out the bodies and you know I'm satisfied. I'm digging on the isotopsis metaphixes. Shit is dope. And if this and if all of this can give me hope you know I'm satisfied. I got a lawyer and a manager and agent and a chef, three nannies and assistant, a driver and a jet, a trainer, a butler, a bodyguard, a five, a gardener and a stylist. Do you think I'm satisfied? I'd like to express my, I'd like to express my extreme point of view. I'm not a Christian and I'm not a Jew. I'm just sitting. Wait, that part's amazing. I'm just living out the American dream and I just realized that nothing is what it seems. Do you know what's so beautiful about that? Yeah. That's, first of all, wow, that was a chore de force. No, that was a chore de force. There's something beautiful about her being like, I have a trainer, I have a trainer, a chef, this and then it ends with, do you think I'm satisfied? It's like, no. Now, what's your favorite Madonna song of all time? That's really hard. I'm just gonna be basic. Mine is like a prayer. I mean, like a prayer is amazing because I do love like a gospel song. Like I love when a gospel choir gets involved. Talk about jealous gospel addition. I am obsessed with gospel music recently. Yeah, it's amazing. I am obsessed with it. It's amazing. You know I was adopted to birth. Do you know this about me? I was adopted to birth and my birth father was a preacher. Really? Do you keep in touch? No, no, no. But I think it's in me. Okay. The gospel music. Okay. The preach. I think like I saw Jared sit up when I said jealous gospel version. Do you know what I'm talking about with Nick Jonas when they all he has the whole he has the whole choir singing jealous. Of course. So let me put you on to something underrated. Yeah. There is a band called Laundry Day. Of course. You know. And they have a song called something like a round the world or whatever. Okay. And they sing it with a gospel choir and it's nowhere on streaming and it is quite literally the best thing I've ever heard of. It's gorgeous. It's beautiful. I need to get into it. Upside down. Other side of the world. Okay. So there's this video, but I make a cancel for this because I think it is AI. But that's fine. You know what else is AI? What? First time in San Juan. Me, he hug. Come on. Hey. Capital of Puerto Rico. The whole plane. That's when we landed. It's so. It's so good. It's so good. Oh, I love this song. Ready? Yeah. And it's a baby. And this is AI. I'm too covered. I love it. Don't play with me. What? God on my side. It's sick. I'm turning 32 this year and I'm single. Dating apps are so fucking bleak and any cute guy I do meet is taken or gay. Everyone keeps telling me I'll find a cute one when I least expect it. But that feels like total BS. I'm considering signing up for one of those Mary's at married at first sight shows. Do not do that. At this point. Should I look into it or keep trying? I would like to ask you a question. Yeah, please. When you met Jared. Yeah. Did you feel hopeless before? Were you like there is no one out there for me? My boyfriend had just broken up with me. Okay. And in a really sad way where he broke. He came here. Flew here. He went to Oberlin. I went to NYU. He flew here to break up with me. We went to dinner and I. What's the point? I know. He sat with me and said it's actually like nice and theory because I wouldn't want to text. But also he sat with me and said I'm breaking up with you at dinner. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. We haven't even gotten the bread basket. I'm like, wait, let's just wait. I don't want to sit at dinner. I'm like, yeah, I'm like, can we just fake it? So he was like sure. So then we ended up faking it, having a great time. And he said, oh, maybe I don't want to break up with you. And then we went back to my dorm. We had sex. He did. He came on my face. And as he was coming on my face, he said, I'm sorry. This isn't going to work. And I was like, wait, there's come. I was like, whoa, it's a lot to do. And then he left. Got in a cab and blocked me on everything. Blocked you. So was I hopeless? Yeah, I was hopeless. I was pretty desperate. Yeah. My thing is every time I'm like, I don't give a fuck, somebody does come into my life. I love that. And so I don't give a fuck right now. Totally. I don't. It's what I'm saying now. But it's like tonight. I want to go out because I want to dance in party with my friends. Yeah. Every time I go out in the hopes of a guy, it never works. It never works. No, you can't be looking for it. And I'm off the dating apps. You have to leave the house. Yes. I can't the dating apps don't really. I've tried. I can't. It's very hard for me. Yes. You need to leave the house. You do. What Manny discovered is if you go to a random bar, read a book alone, someone will come up to you. A book in a bar. She did it in to me, performative reading. She did in DC. I did in DC. I could I would need to be a book appropriate for a bar. Does that make sense? And it can't be a candle. Oh, my God. Can't be. You know, it could be divergent. Always divergent. It's always been divergent. You know, my favorite meme of all time. What? What is that? You've never seen where she leans jumping from like the train tracks. No. Oh, Jared, you must know what I'm talking about. I love divergent love. What's your favorite YA thriller? Divergent. Really? Mine's Hunger Games. Because it is so well done. I mean, it's amazing. It's brilliant. It's actually like very well done. But okay, what does this remind you of? Well, we keep going. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I'm not looking at you so you can do it. It's divergent. Okay, it's Ellie Colton. Okay, hold on. Hold on, you guys. Well, you know that the divergent soundtrack is the best movie soundtrack of all time. No, that's what I'm saying. I need you. Wait, what? You've never heard the M83 song I need you where she swings on the zipline? It's beautiful. Oh, what else is on there? There's another Ellie Goldie one on there that's like, here, read me the track list of the divergent soundtrack. What the hell is that? Okay, beating heart. Yeah, beating heart. That's the end credits scene. Hanging on the song I just played you. I need you. She's on a zipline. And there's ziplining through the city. I have chills. I actually have chills. Yeah. And then what's the-- there's another one that I just need to know. Beating heart, I got it. Lost and found. No. Stranger, dream machines, dead in the water. I love you waiting game. No, my blood. Oh, waiting game, yeah, I know. I won't let you go. Maybe I don't know the soundtrack as well as I thought. You know who has a great soundtrack is? What's the-- what's the show? Nobody wants this. Yes. Great soundtrack. I love that show. Who's your boyfriend acoustic? Kristen Bell is amazing. Amazing. She's a light. Yeah. Jake, I need advice. I'm staying at my grandmother's for the week. And she likes to sleep at 55. Ooh, love that. How do you sleep in the cold without freezing your ass off? All her blankets are really old and thin. And I don't want to get claustrophobic by layering 1,000 hoodies, et cetera. Am I doomed? No. And I'll tell you why you are being a little stubborn. Your grandma, old people, get very-- Well, actually, that's quite interesting. I actually thought they'd get cold these year. But regardless, you can't rip-- it's better to be cold than hot, because if you're sweating, sweating, sweating so hot, you can't rip your skin off. You can always add layers. I agree. Go to a local CVS. Get a fucking throwble and get and figure it out. I agree. I'm sorry. I agree. I'm sorry. Also, 55? That's a dream for me. I love being cold, don't you? 62. I love being cold. It is my favorite thing in the entire world. I'm upset. I want my way to be in the snow. 100%. Where's your dream wetting? Not in the snow. But I don't know. Maybe just like-- maybe let's just do an L.A. It's easy, huh? Fuck it. Fuck it. It's easy. It's easy. Or in New York, even. I don't hate it. Upstate? OK. Upstate. I'm-- I want to do English countryside. I would love that. It's just too hard to get everyone there. So that's the point. You're stuck. Oh. And it looks like fuck it. Let's just party. That's so fun. Yeah. That's my idea. OK. I'm going to copy that. A few times I have noticed that my ex will view the first Instagram story I post, but won't click forward to the second or third. I'm not someone who posts like 100 in a day. Usually a couple every now and then. Why is he just viewing the first and swiping out? Is this for attention? I kind of miss him. So please help. I would be like, he can't keep going. He can't resist. Also, I recently downloaded Instagram plus. So I can search who views my story. And let me tell you that. I leave that. It's $299 a month. It is the best purchase I've ever made. $2.99. I think if I remember correctly, Louise did it. And she bi-oxenly verified herself. And she couldn't post for a month. Wait. Can I just say something? I always check my ex's stories on Instagram. And I'll do it on my name. You don't have an ex, but every situation, check. You don't do it on your main. No, I do it on my main. Same. I do it on my main too. But you're the last of a fuck. Hello. Look at my name. I'm thinking of you. Totally thinking of you, babe. Heart. Have we already talked about my shave tattoo on this podcast yet? And you think it's a good idea? I love the shave tattooed idea. Okay. Do I need an earring? No, baby. No. What are you, Eminem? Do I need a tattoo? Eminem? What are you? Eminem? Why are you doing that? Just shave tattooed. Yes, Sherrod. Come on. We can't get into Macklemore territory. Does he have a shaved head? Macklemore? Macklemore. No, he has everything else, though. I'm sure. To me, he has a shaved head and earring in a tattoo. Have you ever heard the song by Macklemore? I don't belong in this club. No, and I'll probably like it. I need you after this. Is it good? I don't belong in this club by Macklemore. There's a part in the song where he goes. I'm having the worst time in this club. And the DJL is Macklemore in the house tonight. And I go, oh shit. And the chorus starts again. And it is the best song I've ever heard. I need that in my veins. Oh shit. Hey, hey, I'm faded. And, boom, I don't belong in this club. No dance, no chance, because I feel in awkward as fuck. Oh wait, what? I thought it was going to be, I don't belong in this club again. No, you would think. Well, Owen, what did we learn today? I feel like we learned so much. OK, I feel like we learned that you would look great with a shaved head, which I'm getting on August 20th. Save the day. Save the day. Save the day, babe. I'm starting to talk like you. Save the day, baby. I feel like, what else do we learn? We've learned that we are truly creative partners. Partners. No, I see you and I love you. I see you and I love you. I love you. I think we-- well, we learned not in this podcast, but we did learn how to write a joke. Yes, 100%. And we are really good at it. It's really fun to write a joke. That's fun. And you know what else I learned? You're going to need to come over in a few hours so we can actually talk shit and write jokes. I feel like we've actually learned a lot. But you know what? We also learned that you can watch adults. We've learned that you can watch adults on August 27th. All eight episodes are premiering on Hulu. It is season two. It is fantastic. I make a guest starring role in episode two. Jake is a fabulous in episode two. Thank you very much. Actually, I want to use the word fabulous. I'm very fabulous. I'm very excited for people to see it, but you can watch all eight episodes on August 27th. It is created by the wonderful Ben and Rebecca. They're amazing. My episode was directed by the wonderful Jonathan Christel. Done. I had the best time in my life, fell man. I had the best time here. This is amazing. I mean, I could sit and talk to you for another hour. Same. Well, this is just fun. Sorry. I know. Sorry, we're friends. I'm sorry that we're friends. Sorry that we're friends and we actually love to be together. All the time. Wait, that was crazy. Well, Owen, I love you. I love you. I'll see you tonight. Bye, Pussies. (upbeat music)