Session 138: Max Greenfield

Well, welcome to Thera Puzz Max. I'm so excited. We've been hanging out every day this week. Should we just break down our journey? Okay, well why don't we start in Paris? We met in Paris. We then got dinner in Paris and drinks. Yeah, we got dinner in Paris. I mean it was such a whirlwind because we we met up. You met my daughter. Lovely. The best. She loves you. I love her conflicted about our relationship. Why? Well, because she's like, I know that I only really met Jake because of you, but also now I want you at the picture because she wants it. They can't have it once to be right now. I've hung out every single day this week every single day this week Monday, we saw each other at the charts. We're in a relationship. We're in a relationship like a proper one Tuesday We went and saw play together. We saw oh Mary with man. You're going so far. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Go go. Okay, so we you hung out with my daughter and You were so generous with her and with us and was just we had a great great great. It was so easy She's so easy and then I I think we saw each other in the lobby of the hotel Yeah, we had a drink and I was about to come out to New York to do some press and I said to you I was like, you know I don't really I haven't done this in so long. I go what press is like I was interested to ask you and I had no There was I wasn't trying to like angle to do the podcast or I know you were it. I was you were like what should I do? I was like what press is meaningful now because we have this movie and it fits into like a certain demo And I felt old and I was like what do you think Jake and you go? Well, you should just do the part and I was like oh, I hadn't even thought that was an option I don't know where your schedule was and so you were like no, no, just do it and I was like oh now I'm gonna have to follow up And then he's gonna blow me off and I'm gonna feel so quite the opposite the opposite then we we Out we saw each other Monday night and then we were at love affair Well, you went to Ibiza for a few days. No, I went to my workout. Lily and I were tracking your journey. Uh-huh that whole time And what do you think? Well, she kept pulling me aside and then you guys called me because thank God Your girls were like who's gonna be on the podcast and what did they say they said? Thank you and you went and you went who? No, that's not true I FaceTime Max and I was like oh my god like you I have this great. They were like freaking out By the way, thank God because I really needed this because all throughout Paris Every time we hung out 87 girls would run up to Jake and be like oh my god Oh my god, I love you. I love you and then they look to the right or left and like maybe one out of every five would go Oh, and I I love you too You're an international superstar, so then we went to New York. We both yeah, yes, okay, and we saw each other Monday night Yeah, that was random and I was wearing that I was wearing the sweater and you were wearing a yellow sweater And I said I'm always coming with you even though I wasn't we look so good We did look good. Yeah. I ran rhyme or if he gave me a hug and he goes look at you I think you call me like a banana cream pie or something But he was so excited that you were there and I was so excited to see him there at the shows great The show is amazing the show is so good It was so sexy and so sexy and you came with a guy I was very lucky. It was Kai's date. Well actually now Lewis was Kai's date But I got to sit with Kai at the premiere so I felt very special and then were you as Cindy as well? Yeah, Queen the Queen the Queen the Queen and then talk about amazing. Uh-huh We do have to talk about Netflix movie. Don't take a look. Oh, you're jumping so far ahead We've had a full week. I know, but I keep trying to get to the week and you keep me like no You're going ahead, but then you'll just okay, so Monday. We did Monday. We did shards and Monday we just charged and then Tuesday. We did Oh Mary with next alter, which was amazing Which was so great and she was so incredible in it, and then I love that she was like hey I want to see you guys after the show come meet come meet come meet with us or meet with me in the cast whatever and then gave us directions and she was like just walk around the theater and meet us in the back Uh-huh, and so we were like okay, and so you and I walked around and I didn't know that around the corner meant like in the middle of time square and I'm so I was I was happy that I was there because I thought you were gonna melt. I know I know I think I was Yeah, okay, I was like was I high, but we turned the corner and we're like in the middle of time square and I just looked at you and you went like this Yeah, I couldn't I couldn't I couldn't walk I was like I can't walk you need to guide the way. I don't know where I'm going I just had to grab your hand and we like rushed off. Uh-huh. That was good. Yes, Torrid and then and then we did some acting Yes, and then I said oh my god. Well, you know what? I've hung out with him Monday Tuesday and I have the self-tape that I really want to get and I'm like I just asked Max if he can tape with me and he came over yesterday And we hung out for two hours and you taped with me. You were so good But you actually want to know what really connected us at first is that you're from Dobbs fairy And I'm from Hastings. Oh my god. That's right. Yes. You and Marcus Zuckerberg Marcus Zuckerberg is not from Hastings. That's that's what I've heard him and Ricky Lake Pause white planes New York white planes. I've by the way. That's I feel like it changed Not that similar that be be saying like like Mark Zuckerberg is from Dobbs fairy. Oh, no, he's from white planes It's not the same. Okay, so hold on. I know we talked about this Did you go to Hastings high school? I went to Farragut Middle School. Okay And then I went to hillside elementary school. Okay. Did you expect it to be this? I? Need an audience. I knew laughs. I know. Well, right because you've done single cam and Multi-cams. Thank you for see look at you doing your research. I know Oh my god. You did so much prep work. I did. Well, what's the week? So in a in a multi-cam is there's a laugh track Yeah, sometimes we'll usually do it in front of a live studio audience like you know They used to say like this a cheers is taped in front of a live studio audience and then you know You get like when you like I did willing grace and you were at and it is like a rock show because everyone knows they're coming to Will and Grace and everyone's in the audience and they're ready to laugh and that's all real laughter. That's on that show But some shows use sort of a laugh track Especially when you're taping without an audience. They'll just plug it in or you'll have you only bring in laughs Laffers, which is always and you can you can sometimes tell you're like that was a real laugh When you like when you did the neighborhood could you tell? Yeah, everyone's well. You'd be like this. I got him That was real and so when you shoot a multi-cam do you not have to do Multiple takes because it's all just happening. You do multiple takes, but you're rehearsing all week and then You tape on you know a Monday and Tuesday and you're just doing scenes. So which do you prefer? I like I like I like everything that all depends you know You do anything long enough. You're like I want to do the other one and then you want to go back and you want to go forth But when you're doing in front of a live studio audience It's so much fun. We lost ours because of COVID and then it was cost-effective for them not to have it So we didn't have it anymore But when you're in front of a live studio audience and the writing is good and now and all the actors are clicking and you're in a good zone with everybody It's the best Sometimes my friends fake laugh at me and I know you'd be great. You'd be great on a I love being in front of a live studio audience I know I know and you feed off it and like it's you and even when and sometimes the laughs were not real I pretend they were and I'd be like that's really funny today. Right. Is it true? You were a spin instructor? I was for a minute. Yeah. What was that like? Why did you ask it like that? Well, I just like can't it feels very Schmidt to be a spin instructor. Thank you I made a video about it. You did you also To people know about the hills video you made. Oh my god. The hills video I made is Everyone should know about the hills video. I made what was the first season in a new girl and I Was so happy to be on a TV show and I love the character so much and I was just like I'm gonna go the opposite route of like being worried about Being pigeon-holed in like a role. I was like I'm I'm gonna pigeon-hole myself into this role Uh-huh, and I went and filmed this crazy Dating profile video. Yes, that was I seen it. Yes. I showed it to you. I was really proud to show it to you I was really it was amazing. It would look just like the hills. It was shot for shot the theme of the hills With me and only me in it and some drone footage. Yeah, and some drone footage and me Actually, I don't know how we got that footage, but um I was that was my first question You were like we shot this in a day. I was like where did the drone footage come from? I think we like got up on On the route and like I'm like a hill on the PCH and filmed it. It was crazy. It was great. I was young and I had some energy I did I it was on I didn't do it. I should repost it repost it. Well, you should post it. Please. Yeah, I'll post it But so then so then we made I don't remember there's like an issue with with like the studio where they're like we have to pay for the Kylie Minogue song and And I was like, you mean I screwed up? Who is it? Natasha Benningfield. Yeah, and Natasha Benningfield, okay. I'm sorry. The studio was like all up in arms because they had to like then pay For then Natasha Benningfield song. Mm-hmm. Where are you a Hills watcher? Yeah, with your face Who's my fave? I don't know. I just I like watched it with tests. Mm-hmm. My wife. Who's the best? Who loves you? I love her I like Conrad in the beginning. You got sick of her, huh. I don't know if I got I think I got sick of the show really But you know the best scene. Well, it's my favorite scene to see in the test and I will like do bits off of it. It was like You know what you did. Yeah, you and I want to forgive you, but I want to forget you here I'm it. This is the ocean. This is the audition. Okay, you know what you did go I don't want it and then but you know Well, what's the other one was that you'll always be known this was like who didn't go to Paris This was like the the exercise we did a dinner or a test and I cornered you and you were talking about like you have to be in a position Where if you like a guy you need to say to him like hey are you single? Oh my god. I forgot we did this Oh my god, you guys made me go on a fake day at dinner. I know with like the error But then it but then like okay, but like I think it's interesting. I think we should do it again. Okay Okay, so I'm the guy. I'll play the guy. Okay. We're having a good time. We're vibe and everything's and I Have and I'm using my mic in the proper way. You're like oh my god. This guy's really good with the mic. Okay And now all of a sudden you're like I really like this guy like maybe there's something more here and I'm gonna have to now Ask him are you single? Oh my god. Okay, here we go They made me do this at dinner in front of like okay, it was in front of no one. Yeah, it was in front of no one. Okay Are you Why are your eyes closed? Why are you I'm getting into character. Oh, I think you're sleeping. Okay. Well, are you single? That wasn't horrible. That was pretty good. Right? That was an horrible. Okay. Yeah, why? I don't want to play anymore You you got it. It was good. That was good at dinner. It was it was wild. Was I even drunk? I don't know But by the way, it was like hour three at that dinner and we both were like you at some point were like this I gotta go I gotta get back to my computer at some point. I looked at the test and I was like We should wrap them. She goes why and I go I go word were you know I wasn't on my phone. I wasn't on my computer. I was starting to sweat. I was like I Was like we're gonna be here forever We suck the restaurant down and then some people tried to come and go into the restaurant. I said honey. It's closed So when you booked a new girl. Yes. Well, did you have where you like? Oh, this could be great. It has no edition now like I had audition for so many different movies or I'm sorry TV shows and not movies and And gotten close on so many and you know tests was a hat is a long-time casting director and casting executive and so we were like really I don't know Connected to the business in a way where we sort of knew what shows had more of a shot than other shows and which ones felt significant and new girl was one of those and I could not believe that it was happening and I felt because you know you Liz Maryweather was a Who is an extraordinary writer, but she was a really hot writer? Jake Kasson was directing the pilot. He was a very cool director and had a lot of like power at that time It was Zoe was like a movie star doing TV network TV, which was huge at the time Which was yeah, especially comedy was like not happening and so We felt so lucky to be a part of that show. I remember like Jake and I were the first two cast after Zoe and I mean we would call each other because we then had to then we then auditioned. I Don't know 4,000 people for Le Mans role. Uh-huh and I had experienced this before where and it wasn't me, but I've seen it where like You all of a sudden are doing chemistry reads with other actors and at some point somebody goes, you know Maybe it's the other two guys and it's not the guy we can't find and Maybe we need to switch this whole thing. Oh, so and so I was worried I was gonna get fired because they were seeing so much of us because we were auditioning with So many different people for Le Mans role and so Jake and I would call each other we'd be like this Make sure like you don't wear the same like us with our yellow sweat, right? Of course, I was like don't wear the same thing because at some point they might be like maybe they're too similar or like this Right, and so we would call each other. We'd like outfit coordinate and like it was so wild and stressful and But well then we got Damon came in. We did the pilot with Damon who we all knew who was like, oh my god But he wasn't really available because he was doing this other show happy endings But they thought maybe that show would get canceled it did not and so then he had to go and then Le Mans came in in Episode two and both your names are Winston Yeah, we discovered that much later. I was like, what did you watch all of the? No, I watched a good amount of it. I watched it when it was on TV And then I was like I I never watch I Like I go through periods where I'm like I'm watching about like right now. I'm watching a lot of sci-fi What are you watching? Is it good? I like I like that you said I'm watching a side like I don't know what's going on right now. What are you watching? Side low because it's like it's like okay, I mean okay, and then I'm gonna go back to new girl But like basically season one you're like what's going on the end of season one you're like oh okay season two You're like okay the end of season two you're like oh shit Okay, and now season three you're like okay, let's get there when we talk about don't say good luck because at some point we're going to I tried I let's we can we can do it now. I want a review of like that. It was the best movie I've ever seen in my life only using the word okay Okay, take me through the whole movie using only the word okay when I started don't say good luck. Uh-huh. I was like, okay And then Waitress got involved which is and I loved the song she used to be mine. So I was like, okay And then there was a little bit of a cancer and I said, okay Okay, once the needle drop gonna happen with she used to be mine And then the needle drop happen was she used to be mine and I said okay, and I was sobbing Also when the mom was at the kitchen table or the grandma was at the kitchen table screaming at sunny I was like, oh my okay like fuck It was amazing. It was amazing. I called you right after I sent you photos of me crying. Alex watched it. He saw it It was amazing. It's amazing. It's actually amazing That was the best review of anything I've ever been in in my entire life. It's amazing like it's to me It feels really like it feels like one of those movies where I was like I want to watch it again And I don't feel that way about movies ever. I know it's like it's I thought Julie Hartley directed the movie did such a good job And you really is one of those movies where Just feel it and sunny is so sunny to start what's talk about sunny sunny is a star, right? She can say she can ask that's all live too I could I was I couldn't I was I I was about to say I could tell but like it could have not been live and I wouldn't have known either But like I was like and I watched it and it was like I like I don't know these things. Oh, she's saying that live like to the camera Yeah, so she can really saying yes, wow because I remember getting there and then be like and it was a big deal Because the sun is gonna sing all the songs live and I was like what does that mean? Right and they were like she's actually gonna sing the songs like on camera and I go and that's a hard that song to sing by the way for us Right That song ever by the way. Are you do you think theater? Oh, yeah, we went to theater, but like are you a theater guy? No, but like do you like do you go a lot like Yeah, yeah, not as much as I mean if I lived in New York, I would go a lot more What you yeah, of course, okay, but now I only go to shows with you. Okay, I will only go to shows with you Where my mom? Okay, then okay, all right. I feel like that's fair. That's fair. Okay, and if I find out you go I won't go with anyone else if you go with go in powel. Yeah, I won't go with anyone else only you Yes, no, I and I know you will too. Yes, and I'll find out and I know you'll find out. Yeah Do you know how high I got yesterday when we did the self tape because in this okay in the self tape it says He's smoking a joint. I'm like never have I ever been able to get high for an audition. I'm gonna get high for this audition And by the end of it, I was like all right like do you remember how stoned I was? Well, you were like this Should I smoke for this and I was like I mean you can and you're like I think I'm gonna smoke and I was like Yeah, go for it. Do you think and then And then I don't think you were prepared for like how many takes I was about to make you do No, but never tape. I don't think I can tape with anyone else ever again because your wife is a cast. You do So you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and I was like, oh shit. That's what she doesn't need It's no joke. Well, that's why I felt so comfortable with you because I was like, oh my god I can only imagine what test puts you through when you're taping so like you get it. Yeah, totally totally But like I at some point you stood up and you were like, "Oh, I'm fucking high." Yeah, I was out of my mind You were so good though. Well, let's hope I get it. You're so good I mean, he was supposed to be talking throughout the whole thing so like whatever. Whatever. You know what's funny is How you replaced one of the characters in the pilot episode because he had to do happy endings You replaced someone in the neighborhood. Did you not? Yeah, they were gonna make the pilot where they were they were gonna make the series They had shot the pilot and they were replacing Two of the actors in the in the show, but you know, they had come to me very early on for that show Mm-hmm, and I was not just wasn't in a space where I was gonna do it and And and then they were like we're making the show and they sent me the pilot and I watched the pilot and I was like, this is really good and And I knew Cedric a little bit and we had some mutual friends and so we met and he was so great and like really had I Handle on what the show was about and what he wanted to do with the show and It's just sort of at that point felt like this is a brand new adventure and like the multi-cam of it all I was about to say the multi-cam. Yeah, I thought it was cool And also like that schedule is incredible because you're rehearsing all week. You're not like, you know We're just waiting for the lighting to get set up. Oh really? Yeah, and so like, you know There are days where you'll go in for like four hours and with my kids at the age that they were I was like this is Perfect and if this runs it's incredible and so like, you know, I was at every one of Lily's volleyball games I would pick up my son. I would drop mom. Well, Lily just made varsity big time, baby. Let's go. She was the barrow. I was the barrow Me I really have a lot in common Will you coach her? No, I was terrible So no, I can't teach Lily how to play volleyball. Okay. Well, she made a varsity. It's big deal. Yeah, she's the barrow I was the barrow for a week. I was a mess a mess What were you like in high school? Well, I know you graduate. Well, you didn't graduate You you graduated high school, but you were in Wisconsin, and you had a 1.0 GPA It would be nice if that was That high It was a 0.067. What? How is that possible too much glug-glug-glug? Right, right, but like I drank four times a week in college and I was cum laude. Did you have fun? You had a lot of fun. Madison, right? Yeah, we were in front for a year, and it was Wild, it was that was that we call that the forgotten year. Oh, I have those Sometimes I think I'm in it now. I'm like, um, I don't remember what he did last week. What was your forgotten year? My forgot year was my freshman year of college. You're like 98. No, my forgotten year was my freshman year of college and USC, right? Yeah, and senior year was pretty forgotten. I Mean, I used to black out like nobody's business. Have ever has that ever happened to you? Too many times, so many times that Many people including myself had to realize there was a problem Yeah, well, you know, I think I have one too, and it's really just I'll get there one day. I will. I mean I tried to quit smoking weed. I quit for nine months went back on the one back on that Alcohol, I don't think I can't get through a social situation without it. I mean that's not good I can't I literally can't it's I'm like literally like look like I can't like Yeah, I mean that's called dependency Right, I mean the alternative is you just like get through it, which is sometimes so much worse. No, you have to I have to I have to drink. I mean every time before it's eight two shots Well, you with that dinner at some point I look to you and I was like and you go We're there for 800 hours each And you said this so sweetly. I was like I had so much empathy for you, but at some point you just might I have to get back to my computer I love I need my computer. You guys don't understand. I can't text on my phone I cannot text on my phone though the keyboard moves too slowly for my hands So I need to be on a computer texted and so if I don't get to my computer I can't respond to all the text that I've mixed all day. I miss every text every tax I have to respond on my computer. I'll be in a group chat. My friends will be like are you on your computer? I'm like, yes I have that same thing. I don't it's not a computer thing, but like they're just they're there are time there are times where I can sit and like I have to be in the right space to really like address all the emails and texts. Oh emails Do you do you know what that is? sometimes You said oh emails Because I'm like I'm not like how many are not like sending their responding to emails. How many unread emails do you have on your phone? Do you really want to know? Yeah? I think it's last time I checked it was I think it was like 50,000 But mind you it's like a bunch of life. It's a bunch of it's hard. It's like spam. Okay. I'll tell you right now How many well? I'm not on my spam account. So 21,000 and that's not with my spam my spam is like is it bad that I'm like And then you unread text Yeah, what's your text? That's bad because text 792. Oh my god I'm a hard guy to reach sometimes. What can I say? I feel so flatter that you respond very quickly to you Oh my god, I'm like max texted me and we're on a week long play date. That's never gonna add when you find back to Paris Tonight, no, I know. I'm really gonna miss you. I I mean at some point I said to you. I text you. I was like how are we gonna say goodbye? I don't know You guys mean to that every day of this week together everyone's like what are you doing? I'm like I'm with max You've had some pretty famous guest stars on new girl Oh Taylor Swift oh my god prince right but I mean prince. Yeah, we can stop the list right there because everybody how did prince happen? Prince was crazy So we we got the slot after the Super Bowl and Fox was like it's gonna be you and the show Brooklyn 999 and And Fox were like we need to elevate those episodes. You got to get like a great like some sort of guest star in the show, but like our big one and Brooklyn 999 is Andy Sandberg and all these connections to SNL and they were like do you want Adam Sandler or Will Ferrell and I think they ended up with Will Ferrell maybe like they had like a list of right right they could get to in A heartbeat and I think Andy put a they were like great. We have Will or some some like that and Liz Mary Well, there was like you know has connections to like the theater world and was like His Anthony rap like Good get and so she was sort of like I don't know what to do and somehow We found out that Prince was a fan of the show Uh-huh, and I don't know how it happened, but they reached out to Prince and Prince was like Y'all don't and we were like he's never gonna show up and To the minute that like we worst on set and like there were marks on the ground We didn't know if he was gonna be there and then all of a sudden at like midnight. He just comes And here we go Did just like could you hear a pen drop? Yes, and you're like that's Prince it was wild and then he like wrote a song for the show that he he was supposed to be a party at his house And he was he had said that he should be DJing the party and so he was up on the DJ because he didn't want to like perform the song but he's playing the song and then The conceited scene was then Zoe jumped this like the end of the episode Zoe jumps up on the stage He invited Zoe up on stage and they're like They were grooving out to the song and then she calls up all her friends Us and so then we jump up on the stage and I remember like before they call the action I said to myself. I was like this will never happen again Right So like forget about the scene forget about the show Forget about your character like any of that stuff. I go you're just gonna jump up on stage and be with Prince and see what happens And so they call action and I run up on stage I jump up and I was like the closest to DJ booth, which is where he was and I look over at him and you know Yeah, and I look over and he looks at me and he looks at like me dancing and I could see he's like man this guy is Really feeling it guys right on man. Well, you like just so in the moment. I don't even remember I just was like let myself move man Which was humiliating but he could tell and he was just like all right, man I like I could see like he almost sort of felt bad for me in a little bit. No, he didn't I think he did a little bit, but no, he was so kind and he was so great and I just I'll never forget that it was just like one of these moments where you're up there and he's looking at you and you're like that fucking prince, man It was so crazy crazy. That is one of the crazy craziest guest star stories. I've ever heard it was crazy And then Taylor Taylor did it and but like Taylor wasn't quite yet Taylor yeah, and I but I remember She was on set We're hanging out and she's so kind she's so pretty she's like a better actor than all of us and I remember Asking her I said kind of a question. She's like yeah, sure and I go If you could play like to an intimate audience or a big arena like what do you what do you prefer and she goes Without missing a beat she goes if you could fill the ocean with people. I'd like to play for that and I went Your life. I'm not as the most Incredible response. I've ever heard it was because she did that. Yeah, which where did you get where did you see it? I saw three times in L.A. and I saw it once in Vegas. We were probably at the same show. Were you in L.A.? Yeah. I went to the Friday night Mm-hmm. I was Monday Tuesday Wednesday. What were your secret songs? We're surprised surprise songs. I got New Year's Day I got New Romantics. I got our song twice. I got our song in Vegas. You got New Year's Day. It was Unbelievable. That's my favorite song. I got dress New Year's Day is my favorite song. Unbelievable. What do you love about New Year's Day? I listen to it every morning. It makes me cry. New Year's Day is your favorite Taylor Swift song. Oh my god. When I first heard New Year's Day Because I remember being is that there's a glitter on the floor after the part. Please please. Please Like you don't under like after I got on the floor after the party Girls in the shoe and in the lobby Kindle axon polaroids on the hardwood floor You in me forever. Oh my god. We can't I'm gonna call I'm gonna call the job. I can't go back We're gonna spend this week together too. We have to Don't wait The last page. Oh, I'm gonna start crying again. It's the best song ever because I just remember the marketing of that album being so harsh And like very good for the rights for the no no no no no the marketing of reputation was very much like Like harsh and volatile and like she's like angry and then you have this beautiful love story on the album being told Through this anger and it ends in that song and it's just it's a part. It's one of the best albums of all time. That song crushes me We got we got our song and oh, so we were on the same night. I was on I was there for our song. You get into our song and like is this love? I think You are in love you are in the game. Yeah, I get you're in love. I'm so jealous That was a good one. That's a great one. Yeah. Yeah, you know, my favorite line in that song She says um she says you understand now why they lost their mind and by and thought the wars And why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words. That was like a monologue. Yeah Because everything she does is monologue. She's perfect. She's perfect What was your favorite episode of a new girl to film ever? I Mean the prince episode was cool Outside of the guest stars. Yeah, there was one we did season one called control There was a director named Jesse Peretz who did it who I love who by the way did a lot of girls Oh Which I know you love I love girls But Jesse's like in a phenomenal director and he directed this episode and it was called control And I loved it so much and it was like we're Schmidt and Jess go on the I break some furniture in the episode and you can see that I have like control issues And she's like you got a light knob and she takes me to the beach And I end up like integrating with all these hippies and my call with something like you know and Getting lost and then they're like we need Schmidt back. He's lost his mind and I was like I'm not coming back And then finally I think that you know it resolves where I'm in the kitchen and I'm cooking cleaning and and they're like is he See back and I turned to them in some way and I'm like this. Yes, I understand my role here and they're like They're like what I was like I'm the mom You are you worried the mom a little I am the mom yes, yes Did you ever live with anyone like this like did you relate to the show at all No, but the writing was so great and so funny and I we loved Making it and Jake and I were We would shoot these like crazy hours and we would do so many takes and like so much of what ended up in that show I like what you just described to me. I have no recollection of right Do you like to improv Yeah, sometimes sometimes Jake Jake was like Jake is very good at it Uh-huh, and so he would Push he could push it in different ways and we and when I'm with somebody's good. I like to do it And I'm not as good at initiating it and guiding it. I just agree Thanks, I think you're really good at guiding it. Thanks because when we were taping yesterday You wouldn't let me stop and you kept pushing it and you kept going well You needed some extras, but you were very good with it and it really added to especially I love improv You're very good at I love making stuff up, but I don't like lying Do you lie? I mean, it's my job Well now do you lie in real life? Yeah, no, you're only sick as your secrets You're only sick as your secrets that's right I'm so sick all the time I'm like actually ill all the time my belly hurts my belly always hurts. What's your biggest pet peeve? My biggest pet peeve. Oh my god. I have so many of them Right now Like what do you say? Oh, what are you therapist about this week? My issue has been That it's very hot out. It's very hot out, but it doesn't look at yeah, but that's fine I like it when it's hot. It's fun to walk. It's nice. I like you love to walk but then You will walk into Anywhere that's inside and the AC is turned down to what feels like 50 And it is a shocking Environment To put your body in after having been outside. I've never I can't even Explain to you the ways in which I disagree with you right now That is what you're upset about. I'm sorry. I've never You're upset that there's air conditioning. Well, I feel like I have to layer No, because all of a sudden I'm outside. I'm in shorts and t-shirt and then all of a sudden I walk inside and I'm like if I'm here for more than 20 minutes I'm gonna need a sweater or a blanket. Yeah, where's the fuck am I gonna get a blanket Thank you That's where if this blanket was available for me everywhere I went I'd feel great. Do you sleep hotter cold? Mm-hmm. Wow What do you mean do I sleep hotter cold? Did it's like that? Do I like the room cold? Yeah I like the room at about seven. Do you really want this blanket? I feel like I force it on you It's not uncomfortable. Okay, so you keep But I'll do this um I sleep at like a 71 Whoa, where where you at 62 You're gonna break the air conditioner. I know it's at 62 right now. Are you cold? Are you chilly? I'm freezing That's why I'm worse. I know it's cold in here, right? It's awesome Sometimes I wake up. This is why you're sick all the time What yeah, I can only picture my wife right now going like did you and Jake talk about your stomachs? I stomach hurts all the time Did your stomach hurt all the time too at all time To the point I have to be so careful with what you think it is because we're both Jewish. I know It's the lactose. I know it is by the way. It's the lactose and it's gluten. We need to stop it I don't know. I don't know what it is It's the lactose on the gluten. You're not ready. Are you a scientist? No, but I'm Jewish. What's the science? It's that you're Jewish You're Jewish and it's the lactose and the gluten and the red meat like Jews are just like delicate creatures Well our stomachs are And our minds and And our bodies by the way, you know, we're delicate. I'm I'm literally I'm gonna get hypothermia from this fucking room. Please You don't understand how hot it gets in the therapist room in LA like I'm gonna have to go directly to the hospital after this Please have you ever gone hypothermia I've been close to it. Have you now I wish have you ever gotten frostbite? I wish Why do you wish that you're being cold? I said I always say you can always add more layers If you are cold if you are hot you cannot rip your skin off. Do you think you have ever seen that movie alive? About the sock with the sock or team that gets stranded. No And and they eat each other. No You've never seen it. No, you gotta watch it, but they they get they're up in the how cold are they? Freezing you would love it. Yes. I'm sorry to them It is You would love it. Is it like yellow jackets? Well, they don't they don't eat like each other like alive. Okay, they eat the they have to eat the diabetes to survive What do you watch on television? You know I was that game for I know you were I was by the way that was like my daughter comes running down the stairs As I'm watching the game and she was like take There and I was like oh Okay, I need like this is I was excited, but I also was like it's not about that right now No, you were at the good game. You know is that one of the best walk me through that Did you have you talked about it on on the show? I don't have I don't look okay, so Tate invited me she was like I have a plus one. Do you want to come with me? I'm like, yeah, please like I'm gonna talk about the next right now There sounds amazing like I grew up in New York like it's the next you felt great I felt great I was drunk and then you're at this game and they were losing and they were losing and I was stressed as fuck and the guy serving the drinks Was like I'm from the Bronx trust me all that needs to happen is Jalen Brunson needs to start throwing a few threes And the second he does that everything was switching will win was there ever a moment for you were like Should we get out of here? No, good for you. No I know but there was a lot of people who were like man, they're not 30. I Know but like that's disrespectful. I'm from New York. Yeah, totally. I'm not gonna leave the next When they're now and I'm so happy. I did it. I've been all of a sudden. It started to roll in the bathroom and I heard And I said I looked at Tate and I said and we ran outside and They were coming back and it was like I mean watching Who put that last tip in OG, I don't know me watching that happen Watching OG, I know be put the tip in when because he tossed it and then it didn't go and then it went boom I can't describe to you like I've never experienced like it it's like a Joe a bomb of joy went off and like the entire stadium erupted I Everyone had full body chills. Everyone just immediately started drinking like pouring shots drink game We're like we're going out. There's the best night ever make sure you clip that out watching OG I don't know. We put the tip in But he did he put the tip in Or he tipped it in sorry And then and then and then and then I did talk about this on my podcast, but The one that it was their next game. It was my best friend Cassidy's birthday and he worth three hours late to her party because The next we're playing. Yeah, everybody got caught up in it, right? Yep beyond look It's the King of New York. He really is. He is the King of New York. Is he your favorite? Do you have a favorite? Oh, yeah, it's him. No, and I really like Carl Isn't Carl fun. I like Carl because I love Jordan and I love her lucky bag I love her lucky bag. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it I love it. But she literally only didn't bring the bag to one game and they lost It's the lucky bag and she just didn't add with the lucky bag for spider-man and it's really funny Do you have a lucky bag like I have my like my bracelets? I have Like my OCD your things. I have my things your things. Do you have anything like I don't have my I don't have things Because you're could you get too caught up in it? I try not to get attached to the things. Why cuz you'll get I don't know. I just like you know, honestly like I'm afraid I'm gonna lose the thing. Totally. I do Do you know how much I lost this vacation? I lost my diary. I lost my camcorder. I lost my sunglasses I lost everything I lost who I was like I look literally like I and you don't understand like I'm like Where could these things be? I've called cuz you know like When you're an adult you realize you can't really lose things like there's always somebody to call They're oh like there's always a loss in found people don't steal things as it can't like you're like Do you know what I mean? You're like oh like things are like I'm gonna lose and it's gone. It's stolen like you're like no I was at the restaurant. Let me call the restaurant everywhere Oh my god, I never called the restaurant. Is your diary at the restaurant my camcorder is I This restaurant should we call him right now? Yeah Hi Hi, I have a question Um, I left a video camera in your restaurant like a week ago. Did you guys end up picking it up? Camera yeah, there was like a little camcorder. I left at your restaurant We didn't see nothing. Oh shit, okay Okay, thank you. I left it in the Uber for sir. So they don't have it now I she was so done with me like I like I just I wasn't gonna push it if it's gone. It's gone. I Like he said I have a question For too many because I want her to be like yes, I thought she was like fucking ask It's my camera. I'm sorry. I mix it. I miss mix it mix it mix it mix me Was there good stuff on there? Yeah, I was gonna make a year-end video. I have right one. I mean It's always a lie. Yeah, but I've been taking video since the first of January Well, yeah, talk it out now. The video is called cameras gone If you find it, please burn it like I don't I don't want to know I'm like honestly a little stressed out about it to be frank What is your favorite album of all time? Oh my gosh music It changes it change like depends on where I'm at right now where you are right now Sometimes I go through a grateful dead phase like that summer. I'm never gone into that. Oh my it'll it'll happen Really? It'll be great. You think it'll happen for me the grateful dad, you think but like I have a hole here I'll give you a playlist right now. Oh, I'm so excited You got on there. Okay, here we are. It takes me a minute to find you know I'm slow with technology All right Be kinder to yourself. There's a Mac Miller song on there. Oh, no, no, which one which one weekend? Yes, I like miss calls by Mac Miller I have rock man By McGee or McGee you listen to McGee. Yeah, I have a live version of close to you by Gracie Abrams I'm gonna buy it. I like the new album by the way. No, no, that's on there. But I'm I'm discovering the new album. It's got into minibar Yeah, I do like minibar minibar is a jam jam. Yeah There's a lot of slow jams on there and they're all sitting minibar comes on you're like, okay, or look at my life I have some Olivia Rodrigo on here. I mean that album is just I just not from the new ones from the old I go arcade fire common prints in the revolution Lord commons in silo I swear to God. I swear to God common is in all three seasons of silo No, okay, he was the bad guy in season one. That's it. Okay, you would like vampire weekend. You know listen to vampire weekend I like vampire weekend a lot. You like the strokes? I do have you heard their new album? That was exciting. They were coach out. Were you a coach? Was I at Coachella that did you see the strokes at Coachella? No, Lily went though. It did she go to the strokes I think so. Yeah, it was one of the genuine probably one of the best experiences of my entire life. Really? Yeah, because I had never seen someday live in some days one of my favorite songs of all time besides the archer by Taylor Swift Have you ever heard the archer by Taylor Swift? Yes, of course. I've heard everything by Taylor Swift Obsessed what era what era like is your era ever more. Oh, I know I have a vinyl of it no record player, but I'm collecting the best. I would you love ever more? You want to love that more? I listen to it with my mom For the first time. So we were at That's really sweet. She said I like this one. It was willow. We were in like this little box at the at the concert and It was myself my wife Lillian reference era and then with us in That same marks was a hunter shaper and her two sisters. Oh my god. Her sisters are the best best best people of all time Hunter's the best her sisters are also the best the best and I forget which one But I was talking to them and she was like and like she got into the ever more and she goes this is my Shit, yeah, and I go. Oh my god, and she goes I go why I go why I was like what why is ever more? Because it's sad and I like it that way. It's sad. It's well first of all you miss the era. So when she She used to do Tis the damn season You don't understand like how oh my god You know that's one of my favorite Taylor shows songs of all time Because when she when those opening guitar strings start to test the damn season I literally Smell Hastings on Hudson. I like lipped. I smell Westchester like I literally like I smell a town It's so good. It's so good Once last time you been back to Dopp's very It's been a while, but you know Jack Antonov. Yeah produces all that so you this you'll like this story So we're doing this movie. Hello. My name is Doris. Mm-hmm Michael Showalter directed it and wrote it and it was amazing. It was done You would love him It was Sally Field and I It's Sally Field's movie and she's at this like place in her life where She gets this job in this office and she falls in love with my character and she fantasizes about my character We have this like will they won't think on a relationship? and I take her to like a Concert and it's supposed to be a young hip concert and so Michael and I were like talking About who we're gonna get to be you know the act on stage uh-huh and we were like and I was friendly with Lena at the time and And she was dating Jack Antonov and he was on him and so I Michael and I emailed Lena and we were like Is there any way that Jack would come out and do this and be like the lead singer of this fake band and he like bleachers was pretty new at that point I don't even know I might not even have existed. Well cuz you know he was in fun before he was in bleachers It may have even like it was right it was around then and so he came out and he was Coolest he's the coolest and wrote a song for the movie and it's so good in the movie and has like a full scene in the movie and we had so much fun and like Sally Field was like in love with him as we all he is He's made some of my favorite songs of all time those those are like the best produce albums ever ever should we get into the tell me what's wrong Oh my god, I just I never want to leave you. I know what we okay, let's do it But at some point we we should we should have like a proper. I can't max. I can't I can't well You're gonna go back to Paris until what November. I don't know. It's gonna be a while Do you like my outfit by the way cuz it's so cute. Did you write me a letter? No, it's the tell me what's wrong But I would write you a letter. I'm gonna send you a really long tax later. That's and I'm gonna mean every word. I hope you write me one back Yeah, if you open it. I'm gonna say I'm gonna please I'm gonna send you a text It's gonna be really long and meaningful and then I'm gonna send you a few songs listen to for the plane Oh, I love that you guys I'm sad Oh my god, you want to know what I've been doing lately opening em loves? My wrist like my forearm is so tight because I didn't work out for so long and I don't you have arthritis in there. No, I have a decor events tendinitis Okay, and so my favorite thing to do that I've discovered since I've been 26 is to get like knots out of myself Or get like loosen up muscles on my own without having to get a massage And the easiest one to do that it like something like you know when you have it not there and you like go And you're like you feel it and you go over and you go over it. Uh-huh. My favorite thing to do now It's like scrape muscle scrape my forearm. Do you get a lot see like oh, yeah, yeah Does it happen a lot more now that you're jacked? But I'm not jacked right now. I need to you know Pick it pick it back up. My trainer said you could work on the chest He said you lost a lot of weight which I know I did because in Europe everything is like very Clean despite I like eight Brad every day like doesn't matter. I know doesn't matter I know but I was gonna say it affects our belly still but it's what affects our bellies Everything over there I but everything here every my stomach like I'm going to get Mediterranean food today It's gonna hurt my stomach. Oh So pumped though, I'm so pumped. I'm gonna go home smoke a joint. My stomach. I will feel nothing I'm gonna put on new girl. You know, that's my new night time show. I'm gonna put on new girl Yes, I am. I am. I'm gonna scrape my not smoke a joint and watch new girl What a night girl Who's that girl Who's that girl It's just It's a good one. Hey girl Where you're going much much okay, please? Are you ready? Yeah, I actually need your help so badly I've absolutely no clue on how to text people and when I do it genuinely scares me so much What I'm worried everyone won't understand how I'm saying something and spiral and spiral Well, that is the basis of texting so recently I've been doing the voice notes But everyone makes fun of me for that LMAO. What's your take on the voice text do not voice do not voice text me The only time I will ever Accept a voice note is if you're telling me like if we were writing something together and we were like writing stuff back and forth to each other Like and it's just like your word vomiting like that's an acceptable voice note. I like if you're telling me a story fucking text me I like to read sometimes on my phone. I like to read tax. What is it though about because I don't I don't love it either Unless someone's like listen. I'm driving and I need like I can't text. I don't listen to that my read the transcription I know it's the I don't I'm the old person in the entire world Who I will listen to voice notes from is Alicia Carmen D from the real housewives of Rhode Island Why because she is the funny as she the voice note she leaves me are Genuinely hysterical like I look forward to listening to them. I'm gonna need an example. Okay. I'll play you one I'm gonna ask her if I could but this and this is I asked her how the new season was going Jake These motherfuckers have me working. That's all I'm gonna say. I've never worked so hard. I said this isn't house with life I thought be at a house without some get paid to stay home get a dinner You know maybe get my nails done, but this is gonna be a good season trust me. It's It's wild. I am so excited. I can't wait to see you again. Johnny people say oh my god I watch that podcast you and jigsay like literally today I was in Boston going shopping and people like I love the interview and jigsay and I'm like oh my god This is wild people are obsessed with you. You're epic. I know it's late. I just want to get an end before I just got home So I'm so sorry. I hope I don't wake you up But yeah people are fucking obsessed with you jigsay that's a wild Like those are the voice notes I listen to it's a kind message but so but I listen to a voice note from you I Listen to a voice note from tasks. I know those would be entertaining. Oh my god, but I don't like listening to voice notes They really bug me out. Yeah, you know what I've been doing Talk to text Don't tell me I know I know I used to really shit on people for talk to taxed. Uh-uh. I Love it. Yeah, I gotta get it takes me a minute to figure out what words I want to use Well, I'm just like it catches every word. It's so good. I don't know how it does it So maybe you should talk to taxed. That's a good. I think that's really and then if you're worried about them not understanding you You just say sorry talk to taxed Moving to NYC and worried. I'm New York chopped like help I fear I cannot compete with these New York guys And if I don't get a boyfriend, I'm dead ass moving to Ohio to Ohio becoming a farmer any tips for my confidence You need to just like fake it Like if you radiate like sex people want to have sex with you, oh for sure I don't do that so I can't relate, but like if you just like are you kidding? Why Jake We haven't we've spent this whole week together and the two of us Everywhere we go. I can tell people like those two guys radiate sex really that's the vibe I get okay See fake it like you got to fake it so you make it I don't think you're faking it but I I am the two of us are out there. I don't you're not You just have it naturally the people say I look really angry all the time like when I'm walking around like people say I look angry I know but that's also like I it's also like sexy angry. It's like I'm hungry It's not possible to be New York chopped because there's so many fish in the sea like there's no one to compete with because there's no competition like you there's so many men here Everyone's fucking gay in the city. Everyone. I've never met a non gay person in the city. Is it only New York or is it everywhere? It's only New York there. It's literally like every apartment building is a gay person Every apartment is a gay person. Yeah, knock knock. They're gay. I Swear Everyone's like I'm I've experimented. I'm like really? Damn, I'm like where do you live New York? New at I was in Paris with these people. I was like are you gay and they were like no, but I could be and I was like You know, I've everyone's experience it experimented. I was like where are you from? They're like New York. I was like new at gay So if anybody's from New York, it's an automatic without like you'll catch a dick honey Don't worry whether it be on grinders, niffies, hinge, rio, whatever you need like you'll catch one. It might not be the one you want But sometimes it's the one you need it's the one you need My husband and I despise each other's favorite and ongoing shows It's almost comedic at how we can't find any common ground on what she watched on what to watch together He hates all reality and game show TV, which is my favorite game show Oh, like survivor and I hate his dark drama action shows and sitcoms Honey, we're gonna you're gonna take the guy's side so am I though because I like dark action shows and sitcoms Well, why do I why does it have to be a side what I mean can't they be a compromise? It didn't used to be a big deal But we're in a brand new marriage and are having a tough time finding a way to wind down at the end of the night together You know what I would watch That I would prescribe the show unreal because it's about the behind-the-season of the bachelor So you get a mix of drama and Reality Beautiful, that was some of the best advice. I've ever given by the way. It's one of the best shows ever made I would just do like you know random What about the 100 on the CW. Oh, how about this silo? Yeah, it's fucking great. Well, actually it's okay It's really okay. You know you could do now though. I like this random idea where life there should be a button on like the remote Where it just goes you hit it and it cycles through everything that's on whatever streaming service that you're on and it just picks a show for you and that just starts playing They have your own Netflix Do they have that? Yeah, that's on Netflix Nolan tell max how many times you've watched New Girl. I've seen the entire show like six times all the way through I love it. It's my comfort shot Do you have a favorite episode? Background Chuck probably okay. Do you have a very character? Thanks, come on man. Come on man. He said he's never been so excited for anyone ever on the podcast. Well, can no one sit next to me for a little bit? Has that ever been done stay my fucking life? No, he's never I don't think no one's ever made an appearance Just yeah produce from here Okay, we read the next one. I can't believe it. Nolan's Nolan reveal hi everybody. I have invited Nolan on the Hey there So it's time big time New Girl fan big time. He's six times through Six times through all the way and I love Jake Johnson and I love Nick and relate to him the most not me, but you're my faith Well, come on. I Relate to Schmidt actually I relate to Yeah, Schmidt. Thanks. It's a bit delusional and I relate to it. He's a bit of like a control freak He's a bit delusional. He's got some issues, but he's needed So deeply. Thank you, and I know my friends need me like water. That's right. That's exactly right and air And I know they miss me every time they're not with me. They're all in a bison right now So without me So I've never had any sensory issues before anything like this, but recently I've been really irritated by my feet It's like I constantly know they're there and it really went oh my god, please I can't yeah, that's my that one's gonna ruin my life Because I can't think about that. I don't want to think about my feet or anything or like feel sensory issues to my feet Hey Jake and special guest no Me and my boyfriend never argue and have been together for just over two years This is a red flag or a green flag or a beige or what sometimes I need a bit of drama, and I'm just not getting it You're right. That's so fast. Did you get that? I did not hear a word She's a boyfriend. They don't argue with the boyfriend. She's like is it weird that we don't argue. I'm weirded out I put this in because of an episode of new girl Which one I'm fully locked in remember Jess is dating. Oh god Jess and not no, no, no, no, no, no silver fox. Come on. Who is it German already? Was it yeah? What's his character's name? Six times no, I know I'm playing key. I've never been on the camera before are you nervous as nervous? We call them the big D The big D. Yeah, he called himself the big D Russell Russell. Yeah, Russell and Russell and they never argued No, so Jessica and Russell had a very healthy and happy relationship But then Jess realizes that she needs a little bit of argumentation in her life And then she goes back home to the apartment and her a Nick fight I know I won't love You'll you you have love No, I don't everyone in this room loves you You have so much love in this world Okay, I guess I do feel that look at Nolan. I look at look how Nolan I look in you right now. Oh There we go love you. I know but okay, we have to move on because everyone on Twitter is gonna be like he won't shut the fuck up About how he like it, please we have to move on because this happens every week I can't I see another tweet about how it's putting like these celebrities through Communication rituals about hearing like how I like can't find a deck. This wasn't about you know, but it just trust me. I'm on Twitter I see it all I see it. I hear you. I'll stop X now I think the Gen Z socially revolved tonight. We're still calling it Twitter. Okay, I feel like that's right It's okay. We the next one. We don't love you. It's fine. I Will honestly if you're having a private you never argue with the guy like yeah, that is a red flag like you should probably argue You don't think I never argued with my boyfriend. I'd be like I don't like this. We don't know how to answer your questions Now that we were scolded for answering. No, I wasn't schooled in you. I appreciate the love felt like a skull Well, I'm just saying like people are gonna be like he needs to go play stop playing the pity party game that he always plays Cuz I do I'm like a walking pity party. Why are you yelling at us? You've put you've put two celebrities Nolan and I That's right in a position where we don't know how to cuz like we don't want to we don't want the audience to now feel like that You've put us in a weird position and that Twitter is gonna say all these things and About me we're Nolan and I which would be real bad I'm 20 so my god, you want to know what I've been doing lately to calm myself down like a baby So I've realized that when you tense your muscles and intense them it like calms you down. So lately I've been going Hold it And it really you do look more relaxed. I told you between that and your Yeah, it works. I swear. I'm in love with my boyfriend But it seems like every time a guy around my age walks in the room. My head is always turning Sometimes even when I'm with him. I hope he doesn't know as he does is this nor more am I falling out of love? You might be Which one falling out of love? What do you think? Well, I think a new girl? Schmidt dated two people at the same time, but was not falling out of love with either of them That's right Twitter did not like that one wait really. Yeah, it was bad. What was Twitter saying about that? It's X what they say. Well, what happened on the show was is I reconnected my it's Schmidt reconnected with An old girlfriend from college and you were dating CC at the time and I had not yet broken up with CC and but or like No, you were single then you were dating Elizabeth and then the wedding happened and then CC pronounced her love for you Yeah, and then you broke up or you didn't break up with Elizabeth But you told CC that you did yes, and I and and he was caught in the predicament of I'm in love with both of these people and I don't know How to move forward and I can't break their hearts. Well, I've never experienced that so I don't know how to help this person Well, apparently we're not to tell you we're not supposed to tell you that you're loved so I guess sucks for you It's just what it's like to be on the podcast Okay, well everybody give it up for Nolan. Nolan. This was a really Special experience it really I'm glad it was a perfect Nolan reveal for a perfect episode so far truly nice You have fun. Oh, can I can I give no one I don't give no one I can we have a moment, please? I love you know our earlobes just touched. It was very intimate like in terms of press that you do like where would you rate rank this at the top? Shut up. I believe you too Like I told you I don't lie. You only sick as your secrets Anytime I watch your podcast I get FOMO because I love your relationship with your college friends I had a group of tight-knit close friends last roommates in college, but I'm only close with one now Oh, how do I get the gang back together? We're all spread out so it's really tough. It's just this is emotional for you Because I know how to do it. Just shoot a text and you start sending old photos and I have one and the group chat will just go And you're back. Do you do a photo first or do a text first photo? And you're like, oh my god, you're just like you sent a photo be like we were so ugly Like that's what I do Like also and if it like sometimes like I mean like it's not the same with me because I'm so close my college friends But like also in a photo of Julia and I'd be like we were so fucking hideous like who let us out of the house This is good advice one time Peyton and Julia wore The they will kill me for bringing this up, but I don't even care. They wore the Most hideous Halloween costume. They've never in their lives looked worse Do you remember first fall and with Max? We're talking about how fucking ugly you guys looked at Halloween Oh On camera, please what were you dressed as a guy? We said we told Jake not to do it, but we took me ourselves "We took pictures in the mirror in our costumes before we went out and said, 'What the fuck do we do? We can't leave the house looking like this.'" No, I know Jake showed him to. He had him. He showed it to everybody. Oh, perfect. Thank you, Jake. He's lying, which he said he never does. So, can you please find the photo? I'll find you now. Oh, my god. I was all spot far away. You guys were all so done. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Please, hold on. Come on, please. Please, hold on. Please, please, come back. Fuck, I was fat from multiple times. Don't let my grandmas get the pictures. We were like, "Oh, is there like, did you did Jake? Did you not tell him what you dressed up as that year?" Oh, I was. Your self-sleepers are. I dressed up as myself. Wait, say anything song. Ah, I love you guys. Well, you missed the third. I like the immediate reaction. The realization of which was horrifying was like. The mermaid costume was the most tragic thing on planet Earth. But then she went, "Oh, my god, I'm as fat for multiple times." [laughter] Because I forgot about the mermaid. The mermaid was so fat. You should reconnect with your college friends. It's really fun. I think that's why school uniforms are a good thing. Oh, really? Yeah. I used to show up to school and like. Oh, my god, I hate you, bro. But I think when you go to school with uniforms, everybody shows up and they're like, "This is not great." But like, everyone's doing it together. And it levels out like the plane. You're right. Does this really wear a uniform? They have uniforms, but they're like loose uniforms. Yeah, but I knew you were going to say so it doesn't count as a jinx. Okay, well, what happens now? [laughter] I have super bad OCD and anxiety when I fly, and I'm running around undiagnosed. So do you have any advice or similar experiences, especially since you're usually flying? I'm going on two planes tomorrow and low-key and freaking out. Okay. I don't get stressed out on planes. I get stressed out on everything else because if a plane is going down, it is my time to go. I agree. You know what I mean? The total agree? What am I going to do? Fly the plane. I don't know how to fly a plane. I'm going down. I'm dying. You have to just accept fate. Yeah. But you can't cheat fate. You should watch final destination. Honestly, to make yourself feel better. Because they try to cheat fate when they went on the airplane, when they get off the airplane and then they all fucking die anyway. In horrific, horrific events. I'm with you. If you get on the plane, the plane takes off. We're doing this. Right? You know, one time I was on a plane. They tried to start it twice. It didn't work. The third time it worked. They said, "Alright, here we go." And they took off. Can you imagine? Here we go. Here we go. [laughter] Like. I think that's the right advice. It's not simple to say. [laughter] At most days. I don't recognize me. These shoes and this apron. This place and its patrons. You want another lyrics? Well, I don't know that one. I've taken more than I've given them. By the way, I like that both of us sing very low. It's not simple. I like when it goes on. What's the one? Where it's tension, sweet center. I still remember. That girl. She's so good. She is perfect. Keep going. But she's kind. There you go. She is smart. She is hard on herself. She is broken and won't ask for help. She is messy. But she's kind. She is. Almost out of the time. She is all of this baked up made in a beautiful pie. She is gone. But she used to be. My. She used to be my. Oh, we sounded good there. Thank God you weren't here for this no one. Because you were ruined. Is your real name Maxwell? That was so nice. That was the goodbye. That was nice though. I've had a lovely two weeks with you. It's been a really. It's been a really special time. And I'm really grateful for it. I'm really grateful too. I'm going to cry later. When I write you my note. I hope you cry too. When I write you back. Okay. And then I'm going to need some space. That's fine. And then I'll send you just like a picture of our time together just to remind you. We have a lot. And that'll bring us back together. So many photos. We have so many photos. And we have self-tapes. Self-tapes. Well, Max, what did we learn today? How to use a microphone? Okay, and I learned that we're real best friends. Yeah, and. That's right. I learned that I have a brand new best friend. Okay, well now you have to say, "Bye, Purses." Bye, Purses.