Session 136: Kaia Gerber Returns

Hi, Pussies! Welcome back to Therapus! Tonight we have on my dear dear dear friend, my best friend, Kyra Gerber, who is an absolute vision in Ryan Murphy's "The Shard" which is out August 5th, so today it is based on the Bret Easton Ellis novel of the same name so I'm so grateful that there's a show for it now that is so amazing I got to see the first two episodes and I got to watch them with her and it was really I don't think she knew how special that was for me I felt like I was watching such great television with the person who made it and it was a really really special moment for me and I just think she is so incredible she is such a loyal funny kind talented friend and I had so much fun filming this episode with her we got to talk about all of our stories that we've had and I'm just so proud of her and you guys are going to be so gagged by her in the shards it is so so so incredible it is like 80s sexy murder Los Angeles anything you can want in a television show anything you can want in a Ryan Murphy show it is there it is amazing please go watch it I also got the pleasure of hanging out with the entire cast Hayes Graham Igby Homer there I love you all please go stream the shards the first two episodes are out now once again they are incredible Kaya I am so proud of you I love you thank you for coming on Therapus to promote it I love you plusies enjoy the episode I'm nervous what I don't know why this was like the one I was least nervous about no I'm actually not okay it's fine let's cheers cheers to okay I have a few things to cheers to cheers to the shards coming out August 5th on FX which Kaya stars in and I got to see the first two episodes last night it was amazing I got to watch them with Kaya and it was amazing you were amazing you were amazing I just have to say the fact that you weren't on your phone was I know I've never seen it I got a little emotional you did win well there was a point there was some gay stuff yeah there was a lot of gay stuff it was I was just like oh my god I can't believe I get to watch this with you right now I loved watching it with you married in 500 low lows 500 500 but normally I would be so anxious to watch someone but you're so talented and incredible that it was well I feel sick well but I love you I love you thanks you're having me back oh my god you're always welcome back cheers eyes see the thing about Kaya she watches the show so I didn't even need to say eyes but I did anyway I need I need this we have a few well we have multiple multiple things to cover the last time you were on here was was what what what had we done it was a year ago it was right after Portland okay so we had it on Austin no we hadn't gone to Austin we hadn't gone to Mexico Mexico we hadn't done New York together we hadn't done New York and we hadn't gone out for Halloween stop I forgot about Halloween the curse night that was that was actually a curse but it was one of the best nights of my life it was so much fun and that I was fully a curse night and then I woke up at yours of course got a last minute invite to a gala oh my god we met back up at the gala we were we got home I think at 5 a.m. 6 totally you're gonna want 6 a.m. you fell asleep you made us know you made us watch baddies baddies so I'm not really in a state to be retaining information at that point and you're explaining baddies to me who everyone is there's one with the pacifier they're getting in there is krishawn I was showing her body south which is the best season of baddies they're getting in violent violent fights which at when the sun is rising and I'm still dressed as little lady and you're dressed as role model it's just in it was really just a lot of information to take in speaking of little edi actually finally understand your Halloween costume can I kept telling me about her whole being costume all you see I'm not listening and then of course and then suddenly I see a tick talk about the gray ladies gray gardens gray gardens yep you should honestly it is your like I think you would appreciate it and what's it about exactly it's about two women that live in a yes it's a mother daughter that live in this sort of like it's a beautiful home but it's sort of falling apart and it's in like various states of deterioration it's very much falling apart yeah and they're they're so funny and their relationship is incredible and and then a lot of people who didn't know the documentary then um bill hater and Fred Armason did a bit where they were playing the mother and daughter oh that's amazing yeah so it's it's but it's incredible so that's what I yeah that's what I went as for Halloween and you were role model and we went with some of your cast members from the shards yes who we spent so much time with what you guys were shooting it's weird watching the shards because you feel like such an integral part of that experience for me but you're not on the show right which will change obviously right Ryan Ryan and Ryan Ryan listen here but ever I spent so much time with you guys you guys were you guys are so close I know isn't that crazy because when you embark on a six month job with I've never had a job that long with a group of people my age right and I was like this can either be incredible and I'll have best friends for life or I'm gonna hate them and be miserable and thank God for the former exactly wow that was library science I thought you pointed to the wall library science it honestly it was the I tell people like we wrapped we were together for 16 hours every single day then on weekends we'd hang out so a lot of them were from New York and didn't like this was you really helped lead the charge on like okay we're like I remember that time when I watched this show now all I can think about is going to your house pre gaming with everybody going out you guys would all talk about stuff that day I'd be like no honestly it was annoying but I think that's part of the reason we started to bond so much as I was like my whole life is filming this show so I don't really have anything to say outside of what I've been experiencing on set and I'm very aware that that's so boring and I found it interesting you were you did but like for someone who's not an actor it's a very boring thing to hear about so we kind of just all gravitated towards each other because I was like you're the only people that will put up with me like talking about about the show because it's like you're like in summer camp and it's like yeah all you want to summer camp and then everyone's like why I can go to camp with you so I don't give a shit about these camps for us exactly and I was like well I don't have a life outside of this so I don't have anything interesting to say other than about my experience doing this but we wrapped filming and the next night everyone the like the people who lived in New York hadn't gone home yet and we all got dinner with each other and we were sitting at dinner and I looked around and I was like the fact that we no longer have to be in each other's presence but are choosing to and we all have so much love for each other and we fight I've never had friends until now that you can like fight like family with and still love each other and that like that that's who they are to me like we if I can drove each other insane well you guys were on set for insane you see each other at their absolute best crushing it and at their absolute worst and grumpy and tired and night shoots and all of the things and we all really still love each other and you know what you can read that chemistry off the screen really yes and it's was fun for me to see oh my god that was well there was a night shoot that was supposed to come visit on that I didn't visit on why what happened I I don't leave my house unless Kaya makes me that's true and the one time I did leave my house I got a role in a movie because she made me so I should leave more I'm so excited for that for wishful thinking to come out I know me too it's it's my favorite performance that everyone in that movie has ever given oh it's so good and we have to talk about Eric who I think is one of the funniest people well he's in Maddie secret which I'm desperate I'm desperate to see it we have to watch I think no one makes me laugh harder than Eric you and Eric are up there Eric honestly eight and Kate for land oh she's so good is John early have you seen the the sketch that they do where they're like in a gift shop or something and and they're both like have that oh yeah that's got have that yeah I have no where's that for oh yeah I have five of the it's the funniest I don't know thank you isn't it great to have an extra here yes it's so funny I think you would love it I don't want early from search party and you know what fun fact one of our writers on our show Charles Rogers created search party oh my god yes I forgot about that I'm such a fan of search party also isn't that cool is school a really like got their stars yes because they kidnapped sorry spoiler alert the main character yes because there was like a super stalker fan and it is one of the funniest one of I'm such a fan of that show and I'm such a fan of coals and then when I heard that Charles was writing on the shards I was like oh my god this is so exciting and it was really fun knowing Charles a sensibility and like his sense of humor then to read the scripts I would be like I know that's a Charles line and help me sort of understand our show a little bit more well the shards is funny at which the shards gets right is it's scary and funny scary and funny and I think that sexy and gay and sexy and gay yeah And I think that's what's coming back. - Scary funny sexy gay. - Yeah like widow's Bay. Well widow's Bay doesn't have the gay stuff, but. - But widow's Bay feels gay to me. - It is gay. - It's gay, right? - It's gay. - But I don't know why. - It's 'cause it's scary and funny. Which is inherently gay. (laughing) Which is inherently gay. (laughing) - We, Meg will be doing O'Merry speaking of Cola Schooler. - Oh my god, you have to wear the hat that is my favorite hat of yours of all time. - I'll film director back. - I'm gonna wear a new play by Cola Schooler. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's incredible. - It's pretty amazing. Kai gets compliments on it everywhere we go. - It does make me feel very cool. I literally went on the merch website and bought it. It wasn't like an opening night hat. Like I just, I went to that show. Did you see Cole do that play? - No, no. - It's okay, it's okay. - No. - They'll come back, I'm sure. - Will they? - I don't know. They did it for I think a year 'cause it was off Broadway. I saw multiple times off. Then I went to opening night on Broadway and then I went like four more times and Cole. I think it was my seventh time going and Cole was like, you need to stop coming here. - Right. - Like I was the psychostalker. - That whole play is in search of it. - Cole was like, get out of here. I said I can't get enough. - I just, what I'm so excited to see Meg do in it is like, from what I've heard 'cause I haven't seen it, is that every different Mary is able to bring their own improv to it. So like Maya Rudolph was like Maya Rudolph as Mary. Cola Schooler was Cola Schooler as Mary. And Meg's Daughter is going to be Meg's Daughter as Mary, which is my dream. - No, which is really, I know if so this you Meg's Daughter is our Andy Kaufman. - Yes. - And you cannot argue me on that. It's such intellectual humor in my opinion. Like you watch Meg on talk shows with incredible comedians and they cannot keep up with her. - Keep up with her. - Or decipher her. It's really amazing to see like, I just think that Meg's brain is unbelievable. - And we got to be a part of that brain. - When we dressed up as Tim McRod and Faith Hill. - We, you know what, that just got pretty good. - We just so watched together, by the way. - That didn't, I felt like that sort of came in web, but it felt really important. Maybe just personally 'cause it was our first time making out. - Yes. - No, it wasn't actually. - I was not a first time making out. - In front of a crowd. - That was, that felt dystopian. - It was the best night of my life. - Can you paint the picture? Can you set this in? - Okay, so Meg texted us and was like, can you guys come? Okay, this goes back. This goes back. Meg was like, can you guys come to my Largo show, dress up as Faith Hill and Tim McRod and sing your love? And we were like, yes, and then I got sick. And Kyle was like, well, this doesn't work. If you need to be Tim McRod and you need to be Faith Hill, I was like, we need to find another time to do that. - Well, I had also spent the whole day embarrassingly going like, it's your love. - Yeah, she knew everywhere. - I was like trying to like learn the harmony. It's like I was really ready to go. - You put in the work. - You knew every other day. - I didn't know a single lyric. - Of course you didn't. It's your love, not your love. So it just goes to show. - Goes to show. - And then Meg is now releasing her new album and she was doing a TJ set where throughout the DJ set, she combs her hair and makes the audience look for her phone. - Yeah, it's actually the funniest thing. - I was in tears. Travis was there. - They'll get really excited. And then Meg will go, shh. - Yeah. - It's so funny. - I cannot wait to see her in O'Marri. - It's gonna be incredible. Oh, but and then we made out on stage. And then we made out on stage. And everyone was like, I was like. - But you know what? We started the make out really early on in the song because we didn't know what to do. We were like slow dancing. And I was like, let's just make out because I don't know what to do now. And then we made out, I think it was like a three minute. It was the longest make out I've had in a while. - Right. Louis is here. (laughs) - By the way, sorry. - I did ask. I said it is okay. - Louis, if there was anyone that it would be me. (laughs) He chose on the snacks. - He chose on the healthy popcorn. - He loves my snacks. - He loves snacks. - That I have here. - Um. - We went to Mexico together. - Oh yes, you came on my family vacation. - Which was the best experience of my life. I've never felt better in my body. My spray tin was tan to the gods. I shut up. - I was here, we took the third trap of you that I feel like sort of sparked this era for you. - So basically what had happened was. - Who took that today's? - You did. - I wasn't fishing. I actually was a-- - You did. - You did. I got there. We had a lovely dinner. And then I think from the travel, I was dehydrated. I remember I will-- - Did everyone have stomach issues the first night? - No, but mine was like, I thought-- - Oh, you threw up in the trash can. - I threw up in the trash can. And Kaya thought I'd left the trash can in. So there was plastic over the trash can. But I kept telling Kaya like the trash can's still outside and she thought I threw up in the trash can without the plastic and she-- - Here's the thing, okay, we were saying my parents' house. They have, which I don't fully understand this, but my dad's super into, like, interior design and making everything look beautiful. So a lot of their trash cans are like leather trash bins. - I threw up in the leather trash bin. - So when you, and I didn't know they had put a trash bag in it. So the next morning, Jake's like, I threw up in the trash can. And I'm like on the leather. And he was like, yeah. And I was like, okay, and he's like, it's just sitting outside my room like, I'm going to want to do-- I don't know what to do about. I've been with you for a lot of stomach. - A lot of stomach issues. - 'Cause the last time we were together in New York. - Kaya met me for a drink. And I had taken a shroom. And I shit my pants. No, you guys don't even understand. I said, no. - No. - The best word of that was that. - Jake did poop his pants, yeah. But like, I didn't know. So I'm sort of, I'm there. I just get there. We're all having a good time. He disappears into bathroom for a while. I'm like, okay. - Hey, and came with me and held my hand. - And all of this sudden, Jake, Jake looks at me and is like, I have to go. I have to go. And I was like, wait, where are you going? I thought we were like having a night. He's like, I gotta go. You are running across. And he was like, West Houston. You're running across lanes of traffic, getting into an Uber, Peyton screaming, Jake, no, Jake! And I'm like, what's going on? You didn't look back once. You slammed the door. You left. I get home a few hours later. You FaceTime me from bed. You just woke it up again. - Oh my god, I slept. - You fell asleep, you woke about 4 a.m. And you were like, I pooped in my pants. - I was like, Jake, I would have helped you. - There was no coming back. - Sometimes if you poop your pants that will ruin a night. - It should ruin your night out if it doesn't then you have other issues. - Right. - I think pants should ruin my- - Oh, we got there from the throw up and that, wow, god, my body just is not at these days. - You got there from, yeah, yeah. You vomited. - So I vomited first night in Kabul, but essentially I woke up and I was like, you know, I just spent the whole night throwing up. Like my spray tan's on. I look awesome. - It's amazing. - I look awesome. - Let's catch the shave. But I look amazing. - It's amazing. - I was like, kaya, and I just, - Yeah. - And we took a photo and people were just like, I didn't know you had the ability to look semi-good. - That's not true. You looked amazing. You look amazing. I was also really astounded on that trip. There were a few things. Can I talk about what it sounded like? - Please talk about it. - Talk about, mention it all. - Okay. Here's what I was really astounded by. You wanted to go in the ocean all the time. - All the time. - But that's surprising. The ocean was warm and invited. - It was, but I just was sort of like, you didn't strike, I thought you'd be on your phone maybe like in the shade a little in the sun. But you wanted to be on the beach and in the ocean 24/7 and I loved that. - And I was having photoshoots. But I was having photoshoots constantly on my phone. - You and Hayes were going down to the beach to do photoshoots. - I was doing my ins, that, - Can I say, I actually think that's when my Instagram dump started. - No. - And in the ocean, it was. - By the way, who do I ask for advice about an Instagram dump? - Me. - And it started during that trip. - Really? - I started like, kind of like putting them together and I was having a lot of fun with it. - You're so good at it because I know that they take effort but yours feel effortless. - Thank you. That's, - But I feel like you're also intentional about taking photos that fit inside of the dump. - You wanted my favorite dump of all time. - What? - Is the library science, is that library science merch? Drop dead. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Well. - That's for you, drop dead. - And that's my favorite Instagram dump of all time. And I did it to, and by the way, are the songs concert pitch? - How do you choose the song? - I keep it authentic to who I am. What am I listening to right now? - You're not trying to be like cool. - And I find myself trying to be cool. - And sometimes it works. But the best ones are always the ones that come most naturally to me. - Can I say also not to bring it back to the shards, but you were adding all of the songs in the first two episodes last night. 'Cause how good is the music in the shards? - The music is amazing. - It's amazing. It's one of my favorite parts of the show. - It's incredible. They got every song you could ever want from 1981. It's unbelievable. I was listening to that music the whole time we were filming and I haven't gotten sick of it. It's so fun. - I have more things than what I talked to you about. - What, we went to Austin? - We went to Austin. We went to a football game. Oh, the other thing that, it didn't surprise me 'cause we'd already been to Austin. But when we went to that party in Mexico, the way that sorority girls in floral dresses as they were able to describe them, are your people and also approached you as though they really know you? - Yes. - And I kind of, I felt a little, like I was like, that's my friend. - No, my friend. - Yeah, I remember you were like, okay, Jake. [BLANK_AUDIO] -Yeah. -It was so nice, but it's just the parasocial relationship is really interesting, 'cause like even in Austin, like, Glenn went to that school and is an alum and we're at his fraternity and we ultimately got trampled so that people could get to you. -Right, and I cut, remember I cut my lip on the beer can? You guys, I was shocked. I'm like, "Louise, you were there!" -Yeah, Louise was there! -I'm like Louise was there! -No, it was my first time shot, was it your first time? -No, no, no, but I proud. -Well. -Was my first time in a fraternity? -I know. Very dirty. -Yeah. -But it was like, it was, it was a vibe. -I didn't, I didn't see all the grime. I mean, there were so many people there. I was sort of just like, "Wow, this is what college would have been like." -And then I cut my, I thought I was like really feeling myself and I like did a shotgun. I was walking through people were like, "Oh my god, Jake!" And someone goes, "Your lips bleeding! My lip was dripping blood." -Mind you, Jake, surrounded by like 200 sorority girls at this point? And I look over at him and he looks like he was just punched in the face. Like his blood down his whole lip has. -Oh, whole face. And they were like, "Hey, your lips bleeding." And it was giving that same energy of one. Do you remember when I was doing the Sharpie thing and the Sharpie fell all over my face? -Wait, it was after. You were on Broadway! -I was on Broadway. -Do you talk about that a lot because I would? -I do. -Here's a question for you. -I do. -Here's a question. Do you have you seen videos of yourself doing the show at all? -No because you are not allowed to record the show during. -But sometimes they do a recording and then they'll like. -I've never seen it. -I think this is why I love doing theater. -Tell me. -Here's why. -You actually, by the way, do a lot of it. -I love it. -You do a lot of it. You were in a play. -I just did a random reading and you came though so sweet. -And then we had the most lovely day. -I know it's the best day. -We got diner food after and we just had the most magical day. -You are the most supportive friend in the world. -I feel the same way about you. -You have genuine happiness for other people's success, which is it's not performative. It's so rare and I'm sorry to be earnest. Anything exciting happens for me. I have an instinct to be like, "Push it down. Don't make it about you." -It'll go away. -Right, right, right. -Then you'll post it. -Because I'm so proud of you. The other day I was walking down the street. -I was on the phone with William. -That's Kaya. -No, but it's really sweet and it's crazy and it doesn't. You don't get used to it. Having someone else validate success for you is really lovely. And I also try to do that for you. -You do do that for me. -No, but you do. Anyways, the reason we do theater is because here's why we do theater. Because you do the show. And no one in their right mind is going to come up to you after and be like, "You sucked." So everyone comes up to you after and they're like, "You were transcendent." -Yeah, that's my favorite part. -And so you are on a high, right? Because you're like, "I did something transcendent." -Yeah. -And you believe them. -I've once cheered. -You believe them. They're cheering for you, but they have to, but it doesn't matter. Because they're doing it. And then you can't prove them otherwise, because you can't watch it back. So they tell you you're amazing, and you believe them. -Right. -But when you do a show or you do a movie, people will be like, "That was great," or the director's like, "Great, let's move on." And then you watch it and you go, "In fact, that was not great." -Right. -So the wonderful thing about theater is how fleeting it is. And so you believe people when they tell you you were great. -Exactly. -Right? -That's when my dad told me to never do it again. -Why? -He was like, "Because you're going to get a bad review." And it's going to matter. -Did you read reviews? -There were none. -Why? -Because it was a rotating cast. -So I think the reviews came out with the first cast? -That's, oh, that's amazing. -And so we were the last cast and there was no reviews or anything. -That's wonderful. -It was amazing. -I didn't read reviews because I was like, "I have to do this every single night." I was not on Broadway, I liked to. Not that anyone thought that I was. I just like, "I like to be able to do it." -I was like, "I like to be able to do it." -A very intense play. -And what did you do when you came to my very intense play? -I brought baby dolls. -Payton, I brought baby dolls because we were hung over it, and we brought baby dolls. -And Kai said, "What the fuck is going on?" -No, it was amazing. That theater, the Rogue Machine Theater in here in LA, is so wonderful and every play they do is so great. Oh, but I went yesterday for another reading of different play of Will Arbys who wrote the play that I did. -Is he the one that also wrote the play that you just did that I saw with Lewis and your parents? -No. -Okay. -Different. -That person was in scandal. -I know. -Bruse. -Wait, Bruce, right? -Yes, I was literally, I was sitting during the play. We're watching this reading, and I'm like, "Talooist." I'm like, "I think he's in scandal." And Lewis is like, "Really?" And I'm like, "Yeah." And I think that's Tom from scandal watching the play. -Oh, yeah, you had all your people, all your family. -All my skin. And I went up to them after, and I was like, "Are you in scandal?" And they were like, "Yes, Jake." And I said, "Well, they didn't say my name, because they had no idea who I was. But I said-- -Yes, Jake. -Yeah, they said, "Yes, I was in scandal." -He was, Bruce is amazing. I was so excited to do that play because he was in it. And the play was great. But no, this was a different playwright. It seems Will Arbery. And they did this thing I was sitting next to Will yesterday, where they played a short documentary. They made about him and his writing in the theater. -Mm-hmm. -And I'm-- It starts playing it at his hand, and he's like, "Oh, no." And I'm like, "Lafing him." I'm like, "Ha-ha-ha." Cut, too. A segment about the show that we did. Then they start playing clips from the play, which I've never had to see any of that play, so I didn't know what it looked like. I didn't know what they were doing when I wasn't on stage. And I definitely didn't want to know or hear what I sounded like when I was singing every night. And they-- -It's got to be beautiful, boys. -Yeah. -What song were you singing again? -Angela from Montgomery, Bonnie Rape version. -It's a good-- -I want to be one of my favorite songs. By the way, if you have to sing a song every night, that's a great song because you don't get sick of it. It's a beautiful song. -Yeah. -But I'm not Bonnie Rape. And I'm not a singer. And I was like, "You know what? I'm just gonna get through it every night." And I would do this thing before I had to go out with my last scene. And I had been screaming the whole play. -You do scream the whole time. -She screams the whole time. -I scream the whole time. I do a lot of screen work, actually. And I'm pretty good at screening. -You're really good at it. -You're screaming the charts. -You screaming the charts. -Yeah. -Okay, I'm so excited. If you guys know me, you know I struggle deeply, deeply, deeply with OCD. And I have since I was seven years old OCD can look like a lot of things. It can look like being cleanly, but it can also look like being incredibly messy. It has a lot of intrusive thoughts. You're gonna get a lot of ritualistic behavior. I have magical thinking OCD and compulsion OCD. And confession OCD. And one of the things that's really helped me is exposure therapy. Luckily, we have resources to help with OCD. OCD is the world's leading treatment provider for OCD. All their license therapists specialize in ERP therapy, which is exposure response prevention therapy, which is proven to be the most effective treatment for OCD. It's very helpful to expose yourself to being uncomfortable and like sitting in those thoughts. It's like really one of the only ways I found to help get through it. Therapy by OCD is 100% virtual and covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. It also includes support between sessions so you never have to face OCD alone, which can be very scary and very isolated. To learn more about starting OCD therapy with OCD, you can go to nocd.com/jake and book a free call with their team tonight. That's nocd.com/jake. Thank you again, NoCD, for working with me. It means a lot to me and I'm sure if I can help at least one person then I've done my job. [MUSIC] It is summer, which means it is time to go outside and see live music, live comedy, theater, whatever live event you can find. Please go see it. Seeing live events is like one of the last pillars of community we have left. Seek geek is the best place to get tickets for any live event because it rates tickets on a scale from one to 10, one being not the best, ten being the best. You can also use my code therapist for 10% off. And if you download the app from the link in the description, it automatically applies the code therapist for 10% off. It's baseball season now. And you can go see baseball. You can go see some of your favorite comedians are on tour. I just saw John Mulaney just announced a few tour dates. Nikki Glazer is on a big tour. Ariana Grande is on tour. Gracie Abrams is going on tour. Ryan Bede is going on tour. There is so many music festivals. There's such little time left in summer and so many things to see. I just saw Max Walter and O'Merry. You can get tickets for that on Seek geek. It was one of the best experiences of my entire life. She was so fantastic. And I love live theater. It's one of my favorite things in the entire world. You can use my code therapist for 10% off. And thank you Seek geek for sponsoring tonight's episode. I'm so excited. She has a wonderful screen. Thank you so much. A wonderful screen. I think everyone gets a good screen. On the charts, it's important. When you do a Ryan Murphy show, all you can hope for is that you end up screaming. Right. But I would do this thing before I had to go out to sing where I would like, sorry, hawk a loogie, like a box or like I'd do that right before you came on the show. Really? I felt it in my throat. I was like, oh, oh. Sometimes you just have to like, and spit. Yeah. And I would do it every single night. It became also a superstition where I was like, if I don't hawk my loogie, it's not the song's not going to come out. I got it. Are you superstitious? Yeah. What do you think? Well, I think it's OCD more than superstition. Tell me. I have to say I'm very happy about how much you talk about OCD. I thank you. Because there's a lot of misconceptions about it. Yes. Yeah. And as a reminder, Kyle listens to every episode. She'll text me every day. I'm listening to this episode. Here's my complaint. Yes. Oh, good day. She'll give me notes. Well, no, you do want a week. It's not enough. And then, oh, Kyle, I can't. Because I have. I have. No. It's more than enough for you, but I get annoyed because I want more and I've listened to all of them like four times And I just need I need even if you just want to record yourself talking By the way my TikTok algorithm is just like Jake Shane best moments Lewis, are you having fun? Also, I would like to say what Lewis and I travel together at this point all the time I know we went to Austin together and then we went to Paris together And then we didn't see each other you went to Austin together. Oh for self-buy. Yes, we're self-buy. Yeah I'd we flew did we fly there together Lewis? We flew back together and I was following him around with the camera and Here's a drink of milk here's a he did This is what I say about Lewis. He's like milk fed. He loves milk milk fed boy He was like I was he was he was he's either always eating cereal or drinking a thing of milk Actually every time when we were in the when we were going to Paris he got yogurt He loves his dairy You do Lewis He asked me this and also I am curious. Oh Because after Cabo you abandoned me and my entire family when we had to do an emergency Well look here's the thing. Let me let me set the fucking scene No, so we had to so we were on a flight and the LAX was closed All of LAX was closed. There was a smog. There was fog so no plan could no plane could land in LAX So we had to land in San Diego Your parents were the first one to be like peace. Oh, if you think my mom and I didn't get into me Not wait. I want to happen You were huge you were like this. Oh, you're leaving. I said what about me. She was like you're grown up. I said Okay, Mrs. I called her Mrs. Caps for sale because she had like sick she had brought like six vacation hats And they were all piled on her head. Do you remember that book caps for sale? No It was a children's book that was the guy that we're like 400 caps on his head and the cops for sale caps for sale So I was like okay caps for sale. Yeah, they were in a big fight huge fight and so her parents were the first to get in the Uber from San Diego San Diego to LA. Yeah, I was the second and then Kai was like wait, so you're leaving You're leaving my family trip without me and I said well as your Uber on the way She said no, no You didn't say anything Similarly to when you pooped your pants Yeah, you got in the car without explanation, which is totally fine and like you live your life But you got in the car and you just and you just drove right away and I was like what happened to Mexico Like you know I think about Mexico Daily I can't describe to you. I've never been on a vacation Vacation before where I was like way were we but I felt so seen by you. I got there and Kai as mom was like so Kai said you would probably want this room because you like a lot of alone You like to go back and forth between Outside and inside and I said you want a room where you can control the thermostat like have your own Air conditioning because you like it very cold and the room was very cold And I got and all we did every day we would we would wake up and I Walk outside and we'd lay out they would read and I would Go on my phone Music and I would go swimming and I would tan and I would make my Instagram dumps. You would here's I really as I've gotten older appreciate the way that my parents do vacation, which is like real vacation There are no wake about 8 a.m To go swimming with the dolphin like they are like this is what we're gonna do you can come or not It's like actually meant to relax. There's no sight seeing It's amazing God. It was the best vacation of it was one of the best vacations of my entire life It was really so fun when can we go back? Summer is too hot, but we can go back any other time that you want let's go back in October for my birthday. Are your teeth ever itchy? What? What do you mean it's like my my teeth are itchy? Where in your gum or in your tooth? All of it whole thing that's tingling. It's your nerves. What does that mean? It's like do you have sinus pressure right now? No, I don't think so. What do you mean it's tingling? Is it awkward? No, it's not tingling. It's itchy They've been itch you for about a week like I want to like itch them. What is that? I miss thought in my head right now like I am actually about to like go down real psychosis. Well, imagine how I felt all week when my teeth have been itching me Because you can't go you can't go like this Oh my god, I feel sorry. Sorry. I feel sick. We have to move on what are you therapist about today? Because by the way, I tried to get away with not asking that question last time and she said I watched the shit. Oh my god My teeth are itchy When you think about it, they're itchy the teeth are itchy. I know I'm like so uncomfortable. When did this start? And I started and I don't know I think about a week ago and I've started now grinding them because I'm like They're so my teeth are so itchy. What do you think it's from? I have no idea. Have you asked who a dentist? Why my teeth are itchy? They'll probably be like a Center away. I'm not Hiatris like that's not I don't think it's an actual physical. It's like a brain thing. They're itchy It's the gum and I'm brushing and I'm flossing and I'm doing I'm also maybe it's maybe you're flossing too hard Well, no I flossed once last night. I never I think I do I it's so hard. I know do you guys floss? You do you look like you floss Louise what floss? Oh, yeah Louise can read everywhere I know it takes a certain kind of patience and like I think I like it because it does drown out everything else when you're into the book speaking of let's talk Oh, yes about this. Yes library science issue one Yeah, our first publication and I was like kaya like well I so I know library science is a book club and I don't read so I've never really been able to partake But kaya told me that this makes reading easy for people that really don't read and well in large part You inspired it. Okay, because I I love reading but I also understand that it's not super accessible to everyone and like you went to call I didn't go to college you went to college so you were assigned reading you associate reading with school It makes it so much worse that I don't read and I want to college. No, no, that's what I'm saying people who went to college I think sometimes have a bad like people who grew up super religious and then they have to be like I I can't do that religion anymore. Okay, so you that's how I feel about it I didn't go to college so I was like I'm gonna read everything on earth So that I don't feel dumb and so I just started reading really kind of performatively so I could talk to people and seem smart And then I actually feel about what you're liking it But then eventually like I think you sort of sometimes you start things with like not the purest of intentions And then you kind of start liking it. Yes, that's how I always feel about like That's how I feel about movies That's how I feel about movies. I'm a TV show guy actually every TV show under the sun Which is TV shows are at this point like they used to be like movies are up here TV. He was down here Yeah, it's not crazy by the way back in the day you would never do TV Never you would never do TV And you know who I actually think changed that was George George With George was George Wow my knowledge. Yeah, this is what I'm saying like you are an encyclopedia Yes, all things TV TV used to not well it was George money and it was also the sopranos The sopranos changed neither of us neither of us But that changed the game for television like no one wanted to be a television actor until this until the sopranos came out HBO started putting out all these like like six feet under and like and it why should be different It's that it's a very similar medium except you have a lot more time to tell a story and a lot more time I don't know it's like and also the actors get a lot more time to live with the characters Especially right something that scandal which went on for so many seasons like Like you suddenly have an incredible actress like Harry Washington living with this character for almost a decade right I feel like home. Yeah, it was like a decade and so then it's so wonderful to have so much time with the character like when we were filming the shards by the last episode I was like I know Susan so much more than I did during the pilot what I love so much about the shards was that it made me want to be in school The best part about the shards is we get up be kind of Lewis we get up. We finish watching it. I go oh my god Just love the 70s so much Lewis goes it's the 80s, but The 80s but the whole thing was in the 80s and by the way it is so clearly the 80s By the way the voice over the whole time is like the year was 1981. It's the 80s. We're in 1981 Radio star like music video MTV in 1981 and Jacob's up and he's on a high and he goes oh I was in the 70s and I was like I'm not gonna correct him I can't break this moment. This was a beautiful moment and and Lewis said hey, but it's the 80s. Yeah, and I said right But it's but it made me want to be in the 80s. Yeah But that's like you you get obsessed with these worlds of TV and then even when they're doing horrible things or bad things are happening You still kind of want to live in those worlds um Back to literature Which also the shards is an adaptation of a book so I brought eastern Alice I brought eastern Alice who's one of my favorite writers of all time He wrote American Psycho as well. He writes about LA. He's born and raised in LA. I I'm also born and raised in LA I feel like There's another writer E. Babits who writes incredible. Yeah, I know who E. Babits is what do I do? I know what What I think you talk about her I think you talk about her I talk about her all the time because I'm always like I feel like there's - There's this trend now where people use hating on LA as a sort of sign of intellect. Like if I tell you how much I hate LA and why, then you'll think I'm really smart and cool. - Yeah, but LA's back. - LA's back and we said this a year ago, and then you moved to New York. - Well, no, I spent a lot of time in New York, and by the way, when Kai is in New York, she's like, "Fuck, I love it here." - I do love it. I loved it. I lived there. I loved every moment of it. - I forgot that you did live there. - I love it so much, but I also love LA, and I think growing up here, I was like, "L.A. is so stupid and fucking lame." And now I love it here. And E. Babits and Bradie Sinellas, they're Joan Didian. They're people that write about the West and about LA, Joan Didian. - I know Joan Didian. - And Bradie Sinellas talks a lot about Joan Didian. - He does, he does. - That episode of The Trumpets. - Yes. And I just love people who can like, celebrate LA and also celebrate it in all its complexities and all the things that are also wrong with it. And I was reading Black Swans, which is one of my favorite E. Babits books of all time. Short stories, you could definitely, I think he would love it. - Is it about Black Swans? - It's about, or is Black Swans based on that? - Absolutely nothing to do with it. - Totally. - Nothing to do with it. - But you could see how I got from A to B. - I absolutely can. And who's to say Darren Arnoffsky wasn't inspired by E. Babits, but I think maybe I am to say that. - Totally. - Except for me. Back to E. Babits. - Back to E. Babits. But she wrote this, I think it was, it was like the 80s and 90s LA, and she talks about being at this restaurant in rodeo. And she, on rodeo in rodeo. - On rodeo. - On rodeo. - Which I was today because I have a shopping problem. That kayak. - We have to also get into this spending addiction. - But we'll get there. - Yes, keep going. - She's talking about it and this was written in the 80s and she's like, everyone here looks so crazy. Everyone looks insane. They're all getting surgery and lasers and facelifts. And I was like, oh my god, like in the 80s, E. Babits was known. - I would have seen. - And it made me feel comforted because I was like, this is not a new thing. Like she at that, this chair is beautifully. - You like it? - You like it. - It's sort of boosted, is that what that added? - It is boosted because the first episode we did, and I was sitting and I was so short, and I was like this and I was like, Louise, like we have to fucking make this chair higher. - I'm so mad. (upbeat music) - We could have a podcast. - I don't have enough to say. You know what, can I tell you a really sweet moment I had with my mom today? - Uh-huh. - Really cute. - This book eventually. - Okay, go, go. - I'm gonna go Mom and book. - Mom and Mom. - I'm in spending addiction. - Yeah. - So I called my mom and I was like, I'm going on, on Jake's podcast, my parents love you. - And I love that. - Every night at dinner is a, you came, you came to, um, it was a Jewish holiday. - It was, it was Passover. - It wasn't Passover. - It was Passover. - It was Passover. - It was Passover. - It was because I made everyone do the Passover play. - Yes, which was so funny. - So funny. - And funny. - And scary. - And scary. - And scary. - And ultimately gay. - A little bit. - A little bit. - And you and my dad had a beautiful chemistry going on and everyone was doing voices. It was really fun. And my parents love you because every night is like a, it's like a standup show that you do, but it's not put on. It's just you are such an entertaining person to watch and have dinner with. - Making your dad laugh is my greatest addiction. - By the way, I think that's why I have any sense of humor is I just like strive to make my father laugh. - His laugh is so enjoyable to listen to. That's how I feel about Alice. And like making them laugh is like. - He has the best laugh. And he, making them laugh is like, what, sorry. - It's in the diction. It's like why I kept wanting to be like, every night I did it and I'd be like, oh, do, do, do, do. - No, he literally, I'm like laugh that I, I am the court jester for them. And I remember specifically my dad and I went to go see the Carol King musical, beautiful. - Oh, how was that? - It was wonderful. I love Carol King. And I remember sitting there with him and like the crowd was all middle aged women. My dad is from Long Island and his mother talks like this. - Yeah. - And so I started doing an impression of his mother 'cause I was like, all these women look like his mother. So I was like, oh my God, have you seen the Carol King? - It is. - He was like, oh my God. And I was making love so hard that I kept going and going. And then I was like, oh, this is so fun. It's so fun to make my dad laugh. - It is so fun. - And then my mom has a nasty nasty sense of humor. So dirty, so, so, so nasty. It is, oh, I get a laugh out of her. Every now and then, and when I do, that shit's real. - It's real. She's not giving them out for free. It's really gratifying also. But my mom's like dirty, dirty humor. And today I called her and I was like, I'm going on Jake's podcast and I was like, running things about, I was like, is it bad to say this? Is it bad to say this? Everything, she's like, no, it's fine. And I was like, honest, and mom, like I really just want people to see me as human. And I feel like they don't. And she goes, Kaya, you are human. And I was like, I know I understand that, but I also, I want them to get me. I want them to understand. - Humanize. - Yeah, I was like, I want them to understand me. Like I seek so much validation. I think that's why I'm an actor. Like I always hold directors. - Of course there is. - I'm not an actor because I have enough validation. Like please clap for me, cheer for me. Tell me I did a good job. - You don't even need me to mean it. Like the play, like I'm like just, just, - Tell me I did a good job. - I mean, I like, I finish it taking, I'm immediately like, always. - 'Cause that okay. - Just like tell me I did a good job, please. - Humans are constantly in our live seeking validation, even if you're not an actor, you're like, you're doing things constantly seeking validation. And I was like, I just want people to understand me and she was like, I don't think you should be asking yourself whether they understand you. I think you should ask yourself whether they feel you. - What do you mean? - Yeah. - What do you mean? - That's what she said. - But what do you mean? - So that's all I have. (laughing) - But it doesn't, it sort of, like, - Yeah, like do you feel, - Yeah do you feel like the essence of who I am? - I don't need to get what I, you don't need to understand what I'm saying, but like. - Do you feel me? - Do you feel me? - 'Cause like, I think a lot of people don't get Meg's alter. - Right. - But you feel her. 'Cause she is so authentically herself. - Right. - So it's like not whether people fully, 'cause everyone's gonna decide for you in their own way, they're gonna project onto you, but do they feel you? - I think you, us talking right now, this is how we talk in our private life as well. - That's true. - So I think people will feel you. - Thank you. - Do. - Thank you. - To this. Okay, thank you for keeping-- - And then my spanning addiction. - I understand that like library science, we cover a lot of very niche literature, and it's not, I mean, we're trying to make niche literature accessible, but I understand that not everyone's gonna wanna read, like, a book from a female Norwegian author. So I was like, let's make a publication that is short stories, short fiction, short nonfiction, poetry, there's text messages in there, there is art, there is-- - There is? - Yes. - I'm so excited. - Like, someone asked Alyssa and I who I do like, it's the two of us doing library science, and they were like, are you trying to print the internet? And I was like, no. - Wait, but I love that. - Yeah, but I was also like, the internet has a, it's perfectly capable of preserving itself. - Right. - Like, it does that for us. But I definitely am very cognizant of like, our generation has a very short attention span. And so I was like, yeah, so I was like, if I can make a book that is sort of follows the attention span that something like Instagram or TikTok follows, then it can still stimulate people who are not used to reading for sustained periods of time. Like, you could pick that up, read it for a minute, get through a whole story, and then go back to your phone. Like, you don't have to read the whole thing in one sitting, and that was really, that was important to us. And then we were trying to choose, I was like, I think it should have a theme. And so we chose a theme. Do you remember "Show Me To Me Rachel"? - Of course. Louis loves "Show Me To Me Rachel". - Really? - I feel like-- - I feel like-- - Because I've talked about it for like three years. - You always say, please. - Show me, hey. - And that's the theme of the book, 'cause I was like, I think it'd be funny to ask people like Will Arbery, who wrote the play that I did, to write something based on "Show Me To Me". - It's the transcript. The epilogue is the transcript to "Show Me To Me" and then it ends in the TikTok URL. So it's, I want-- - Kaya, this is brilliant, honestly. And then on the back, it's all the authors. - Yeah, all the contributors, great, great people. - Well, I want to write something. I think I was just gonna say you should. - I want to write something. - Because it can be anything we have, we have notes up entries like-- - I have notes up entries. - Send us any of your notes up and we intentionally choose-- - Ah! - It's so sad, this is so amazing. - And it makes a great, great coffee table book as well. Like it's really well done. - And can I nerd out? I spent so long on the binding because I wanted it to be able to lay flat when you're on the middle section. So there's this Japanese binding technique ever. Everyone just fell asleep, by the way. - There's a Japanese binding technique where you can open it, hold on. So you can open it and then it still lays flat. Do you see the spine? How it-- - Oh wow! Well, that's attention to detail. - So-- - Oh my god, well congratulations. - Thank you, thank you for getting on. - I really think this is gonna be it. - It's so fun to-- It's a great time financially to get into publishing. You make so much money. - Really? Okay. So-- - You have a spending addiction. - I do have a spending addiction. When did it start? - Where I bought the Birken. - You bought a Birken? - Hi, it's-- - You've seen the Birken. - Oh, it's Brown. - It's Brown. - Yeah. - And I showed it to your mom, I said. And she said, "Cue." (laughing) - I even say my mom's so not like, into spending like that. The most expensive thing I have ever bought was the Chanel bag. That's the first designer bag I've ever bought for myself. - And it's beautiful and you have it with you right now. - Yeah, it's such a-- It was literally, I bought it and I was like, "I have made it." - Yeah, that's how I told you. - It was those shards and I was like, "I really feel-- "I understand, I think it rubbed off on me." 'Cause like, you know, you can't take it with you when you're dead. - Right. - And you can-- - You can leave it to your children and you should. - That's right, yeah, I'll leave it to my gay son, Theo. Who's gonna be guy for sure? (laughs) - Maybe he won't be. - I actually feel like he might not be. You are having gay children. - And that's my hope, Andrew. - Louise is as well. Do you have the name picked out though? Like he does, like it's psycho? - No. - Okay. - You know what Will does that I now do is. - You're by. - You're by. - God wills the best. Will's the connector of all beings. He connected us. - He really did. He came to Mexico before you did. - He did. - And that's when this all started. - It's so true. - It all goes back to fucking Mexico. - I think you're gonna say it all goes back to Will and I was like, by the way, I agree. - But it all does go back to Will. - It does. The honestly, the one of the greatest, like I feel so lucky that I found him in this life. I feel the same about you too, but I'm just like. - I really feel that about Will. - What a miraculous person. Like what an absolute, like you shouldn't get someone like that. - He could talk to a wall. I mean, we would wake up in Mexico. It'd be 11 a.m. - Oh my God. - We'd roll out of bed. Will would be stripping sweat from his tenth pickleball match of the day. - Around a goal. - He knew every single person in the vicinity. He knew everybody. - I've been going there since I was a baby and Will knew-- - New more people than you. - New more. - More people than you. - It was amazing. - Anyways. - What are you therapist about today? Because last time I tried not to ask because I always forgot to add you. - When I said, "What did I say last time?" - I don't remember. - I have one this time. - Okay, what is it? - I'm therapist. You were there for the beginning of this journey, but I got a belly button ring. - Oh my God, and it's amazing. It was the best day. I've almost got an ear piercane, which you weren't encouraging me to get, by the way. - Well, I was getting my belly button pierced. I was like, "Gear ear pierced." - Ear pierced. - Right. Luis Karen. - So I got a belly button piercing, right? When we wrapped the shards, because I was like, "Wow, I'm crazy. No one can stop me." And I've always wanted one. So it was like a great, I've always wanted one. I've always liked them. Got a belly button piercing, what they don't tell you is that it's gonna be infected for longer than you can ever imagine. - They told you it wouldn't be infected. I was there. They said, "You'll be fine. It'll be fine. You're gonna be fine." You asked every question, Oscar. - I did not listen to the professional who said that you should not pierce with a hoop. You should pierce with the bar. And I was like, "I want a hoop." And he was like, "It's gonna heal much slower." I said, "I don't care." I said, "I'm gonna pierce with the bar." Like, how about a ball? - So there's a ball down your belly button. - So there's the bar, which is like what Britney Spears had with like the diamond up here and then the like hanging thing down there. - Got it. - And I was like, "I'm not a pop star." Like, "I need a little ring." It isn't, it's infected. - How good is the look? - Thank you. I like it. - It's so kind. - But here's the problem. You need to, I have a meticulous cleaning routine for it. Which is, so you get a belly button ring 'cause you're like, "I'm gonna be cool." There's nothing less cool than having a meticulous cleaning routine for your belly button ring. - And what is that? - Twice a day, face wash on it, then, then salience, spring, spring it, I'm moving it, I'm spraying it. It's so deeply on cool. So this thing that was supposed to make me look cooler has suddenly become like the dorkiest thing about me. Also, I'll wake up in the middle of the night with a finger hooked into the ring. - No. - Ripping it, ripping it in my dreams. I'm ripping. Why? I don't know. I don't know. I'm ripping and I wake up and I'm like, "Ah!" And then there's blood, it'll heal eventually, but that's what I'm thinking. - Well, I'm not healed. - It doesn't. - Speaking of dreams. - One of my favorite parts about Cabo was I was like, "I need an Advil PM." I'm out, Lewis, like, "Do you have an Advil PM?" He takes like a quarter of an Advil PM. - He's off a little crowd. - A little quarter, and he gave me like half, and I said, "Oh no, no, no, no, no." - I need three. - I need three to four. And he looked at me as if he, if I was his child, and he was about to send me away. - No, no, no, no, he's used it because I need two. I have a big, I have a sleep problem. - We both have sleep problems. - How do we fix it? - So what I've realized is you just watch TV with a sleep mask on, and you put it on, and then eventually your eyes start shutting as the TV show gets more boring, and then you, you're out. That's my, that's my go-to right now. - What are you, therapist, about? - What am I, therapist, about? - Honestly, I have had the most amazing day. - Really? - I finally was able to work out after my rest. - Mommy thumb. - Mommy thumb. - Mommy thumb. - I had a great workout session, then I went home. - You okay? - No, I burped. I, no, actually what I did. Oh my god, I had the best day ever. I worked out, I was walking, I walked to Airwan, and I passed St. Laurent. And I said-- - This spending addiction can tell you. - And I said, I'm just going to hop in. There was a nylon orange windbreaker. - You didn't buy it, of course, right? (laughs) (indistinct chatter) - You're gonna hear it, you're gonna go around with ice. - Oh my god, the bracelet is out. - What? (indistinct chatter) (laughs) - So I walked in to St. Laurent, and I, wait is it bad? You guys, I literally, the entire sales associate was like, I look like I'm like-- - Jake, the sales, they're in sales, their job is to sell. - Hey, it's from the very where I'm gonna wear this too. (laughs) - Anywho. - You have to wear it. - That's my amazing day. So, (laughs) - By the way, while you were gone, Louise was like, he texted me today that today was a worst day of his life. - No, it was amazing. I worked out, and then I passed to St. Laurent, I walked in, I bought this lovely windbreaker, and a vintage shirt of the pet shop boys. Do you know who the pet shop boys are? - I do. - I didn't, but it looked cool. And so I bought that. - Also, didn't you get a Tom White's shirt? - I did, that's under this. - Yeah. - And so, basically, I bought that. - I just thought you'd do look very, very cute. - Right? - Yeah, it's not horrible. - No, I don't think it's horrible. I just, I think the, I mean, you spent a lot of money on it. - That's okay. - But I can wear something like, oh my God, it's raining out. Like, well, I guess there's no hood. So, basically, then I went to Air One, instead of Monica, and they had my keto pork. And I got my keto pork, and then I went home and I took a psychiatrist's appointment, and I got prescribed new meds. And then I started watching real housewives of Rhode Island. - Okay. - And I took a nap. I woke up and you're here. And that was my day. - That is a good day. That's a good day. It's a really nice day. - I said I was having the worst day ever. - Yeah, you said I'd take an nap, I'm so depressed. - Oh, I was depressed, but that's just a part for the course. And the new meds I got prescribed are for that. - Are for depression, there are some rights. - Yes, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, well but you train, and it's supposed to be taken in the morning, and it's supposed to like, kinda, because I was saved to my psychiatrist. I was like, he was like, you have anxiety, but these feelings of like, like your hopelessness and your, your impending doom, like that is depression. So you should probably take this. - Is it your first time on SSRIs or not? - No, no, I've been on SSRIs forever. I don't know if well, is well, but you train SSRI? Okay, so well. - Cheers. - Cheers, eyes. (bell dings) - Should you do the tummy with trunks? - Yeah, I'm scared. - This might, this has been, this has been real joy. - I'm real joy. - This has been real joy. - Oh, real joy. - Ooh, I got no land. Look what he did. - No, look what he did. No, look what you did. - I didn't do the decor. Also, Kaya tried my gummy sauce night and they were amazing. - What are the, are they called the Jake Shane? - No, they're called Sour Puss. - The Sour Puss. - Oh my god, this would be right before they come out. - Can I, I had six of them. - Yeah, wait, they're amazing. - It's, okay, it reminded me of when I would go through, I'd bag like it, I'd buy a huge bag of the gummy Sour worms. And you just pick out the red and blue ones. - It's funny 'cause I actually don't like those worms, but I like this. - Well, the texture of these is un, it, it, it's unmatched. - I've always wanted to put hot lava in my mouth, even though I know it would be horrible. - You know what? - This is a big sense. - It's an intrusive thought I also feel that way. I always wanna see a burrito hit in slow motion. I base all that. - See that you could do before you could put lava in your mouth. - Totally, but- - I can make this dream come true for you, in fact, maybe tonight. - But all I wanna do is have a Chipotle burrito thrown in the air, and I want someone to hit it with a baseball bat. I think, when I tell you, I think about this, at least once we get caught in a lot of space. - What part of our mental illness is that 'cause I think about putting lava in my mouth 'cause I think about how the inside would be gooey and the hard outer shell would sort of stick. Anyways, that's what it felt like to your conscious, but not- - Yeah. (laughing) - Great. - And in the way that, like that's what I do. - Oh, so it was like comforting. - It was amazing. - But yeah, if anyone out there can throw up a burrito and hit it with a baseball bat, in slow motion, I wanna see like, it spill out. Like I wanna see the baseball bat slowly hit. - I don't like the way that you said it. - Slowly hit the burrito and the burrito go in. And then you see the burrito right before it breaks. - I have a question. Are you thinking the burrito, so this is the burrito? Are you thinking the baseball bat hits it and it goes. - Yes, yes, a little bit. And then it explodes and, but maybe it like also flies off. Like, I don't know what's gonna happen. Like, I don't know what the fuck is gonna happen. - By the way, who's to say? - And I, who is to say? - Who's to say until we do it? - Until we do it. And I really want to do that. - We can do that whenever you want. - Oh, here, got it. - Thank you, Noah. - And the windbaker is growing on me. - Yeah, it's a cute color. - Like, let me just do a little moment. - In what situation would I wear this? - Okay, do you ever like, okay, when you're trying on clothes for a night out, do you do a little pose ever in the mirror? To be like, - Oh, it's every time, every time. - Yeah, okay, so what's the pose that you do? - Oh, they don't have pockets. - There's a big pocket right there. But you'll see everything that's in it. - Like a kangaroo pouch. Okay, so I would wear this to like, I would wear this to, so my issue is, is this also used to have shoulder pads. I had to take them out. I said, I can't buy this for shoulder pads. - Can you turn? - I'm sorry. (laughing) - What does it look like in the back? Right. - Turn to the side. - You would not believe, you would not believe how much nylon can cost you. It is nylon. - Ooh. - Take a seat. - Okay. I realized I have terrible music taste. I heard a song the other day, and I've been bumping it since. I just learned it was some AI slop song. Like, I got it. - No. - I understand it just because I thought the San Juan song was a real song. - What is that? ♪ First time in San Juan ♪ ♪ Mi Ijo ♪ ♪ Capital of Puerto Rico ♪ ♪ Immediately ♪ ♪ I feel in San ♪ - I know you have perfect pitch. - Thank you. - 'Cause it's AI. - No, but you have perfect. - Oh, thank you. ♪ You the whole plain clapped when we landed ♪ - I just learned it was some AI slop song. Like, come on, I'm not dumb. How did I not notice this? I genuinely liked it too, so that's not good either. What the fuck? You know what? You just gotta listen to music. You have a real music, you have a Spotify. - You know what's amazing? - What? - The Ryan BD album. - Oh, have you been listening? - Yes. - How have we not talked about this? What's your favorite song? - I'm between a few. - Okay, tell me. - I love Sweet Fortune. Love isn't Clareau on that too. - I think she is. It's Sweet Clareau. - Yes. I love Dust. - B2 is that the one that says, "I hate New York." "I hate New York." "I'm just like enough to say, I go back and forth." I'm like, I get it, I get it. - And by the way, me too. - I'm like, I get that. My favorite is Virtuoso. ♪ Vertigo, I wasn't ho, ♪ I kind of come out with ♪ ♪ Vurnit and he says ♪ - You know what, you like happier me. - But he says in it, he says, "You gotta learn to leave to remember why you stay. ♪ Letting go of what you hold holds you just the same." - I got none of that. - No, letting go of what you hold. Like letting go, you need to learn to leave to remember why what you had was important. And letting go of that, that feeling of letting go and trust falling into the universe holds you the same way that thing you were-- - Oh, holding on so tight does, that's wonderful. - Yeah. - I like that he's brilliant. - Brilliant. - You actually turned me on to great music. You turned me on to choose in Texas. ♪ She's from Texas I can tell ♪ ♪ By the way, she's just stepping around the room ♪ - It's the battle I was in the car with Kyle. I was like, "Please let me play this right fucking now." - You played me that song and you were like, "It's about cheating." And I listen and I was like, "It's, it is about cheating." - It is about cheating, 'cause he's choosing Texas. - He's choosing Texas, I can tell. - Because he's too stepping around that fucking room. - He's, and by the way, 'cause he was too stepping around that fucking room. - Uh-huh. - And it doesn't take a crystal ball. - To see. - Oh. - And then she's drinking jackal by herself. - 'Cause he's choosing Texas, she can tell. - 'Cause he's quite literally choosing Texas and she can tell. And the truth about it is she can always tell. - She can always tell because he's too stepping around the room. - And men, they are too stepping around. Ever, when they're cheating, they are too stepping around every room. - Ever, oh my. - And she can tell. - Oh my God, the tag is still in there. - I thought he said, "Oh, 'cause I was like, I was really like, stepping through." - Do you know that was named one of the best albums of this year so far? - Ella Langley, she's amazing. - Dandelion. - You also turned me on to, oh, Mexico, honey, 'cause you said it reminded you of me. - I did, it doesn't remind me of you. - Blind my lips. - Like lining your lips and your shorts, shorts in Mexico, like, oh, you're her. - I mean, I could never. - Yes, you are. - But I love her. - But I love her. - I do love her. - I do love her. - I think of you in Mexico. - Her voice is like velvet. It's like sweet, sweet velvet. I love her so much. - That album is just to die for you. - You put me on to "Crush Stripped." - Are we supposed to be giving advice? Sorry. - Oh, for a question. - You should listen to my playlist on Spotify 26. It is all the new and greatest of what I've been listening to. And it's on Spotify and it's 26 because I'm 26 years old. - My lips. - You're black, how drunk? - I am a little drunk. I've gotten drunk. - Cheers. - Eyes. (laughing) - At this point, you know. So I was hooking up with my coworker for a couple of months. He told me from the start he didn't want a relationship because he had just got out of one a few months earlier. I continued to hook up with him here and there after. I left my job. We hadn't talked in a month and now I see he's making the moves on a girl that replaced me at work. Wow. I would be so mad. He took her on the exact same date. He took me on too. - Oh. - How do you know that? Literally copy and paste. He's also telling her he wants a relationship with her. How also do you know that? I'm so heartbroken and upset. How do I get back at him? I mean, I don't know if there's a get back. - The best revenge. - His joy. - His joy. - He is gonna be doing the same thing forever and ever. - Here's the thing. This man, I don't know this man. I don't know the situation. I don't know how she knows all this information either. - That's what I'm convinced about. - I respect her. - She must have the source at work. - She's got a source at work and at cool. - It's great. Or maybe the other woman's reporting back, but I. - My teeth itch, by the way. And it's all I can think about. - It's all I can think about. Welcome to my fucking hell. - It's miserable. - I'm miserable. - And every day. - All I can think about is my teeth. - Sorry. - You can't continue on so sorry. - I think the best, the problem with this man is he sort of, I think he's in his own world. And so, Amy's sort of signifier that she gives, that she cares, he'll take as like she still likes me. Sometimes it's best to just act indifferent. Even if you're not, even if you're still in pain, just don't get back at it. 'Cause getting back at him, he'll be like, she cares. - Right, there's a song, "In Difference" by Megan Moroni. - Sing it. - Just in, different. (laughing) That's it, right? - You're unreal. - Don't even care what he's thinking. And yeah, in different. - Because it's different by Megan Moroni. - The thing is, like we talked about with, you started watching movies to seem cool. I started reading books to seem smart. - And now I watch movies and now you have a book collection. - And so if she starts pretending to be indifferent, one day she'll wake up and she actually will be. - I need to get a near-percent. That's what I just took from that. I have to get a near-percent. How do I tell my friend that I can't spend $1,500 and three days of pay time off on her bachelor at trip, even though I know she's going to explode and call me a bad friend. It's just not in the cards for me, please, what do I do? You know what, I'm actually going to take this out of us and give this one to Louise, because she goes to a lot of weddings. - I think the answer here is so clear and it's that if you can't have this conversation with your friend and if your friend is mad at you for this, that's a major red front, not a friend. Not your friend. - Louise says a wedding every week. - Yeah, I do. - Anyways. - I went to a concert last night and my boyfriend projectile vomited all over the girl standing in front of us. He was too cross and couldn't have prevented it, but now I'm ecto and don't know what to think about the situation. I apologize to the girls and helped him feel better, but I'm torn because I can't get the image of him throwing up out of my mind. That's not your person. - Yeah, if you really love someone, they could vomit all over you, your mother, your father, your family, the people you love and you would still love them. - I kind of agree. - Like, you know, I'm like, "ick queen." - You are, you have a list. - I have a list, it's 100 strong. - And we did say that you would read some of them the next time you would come back on here. - Yeah, we can do it at the end. I have a lot. I mean, we don't have to. - Kaya has an egg list. - Yes, yes, and it's chair. - And I've added to it. - You've added, it's a moldy box. - Stop wearing them. - Okay, but here's the thing. When you're madly, truly deeply in love, they can double strap a backpack, they can vomit at a concert, they can wait in line with an empty plate of buffet, and you still-- - I'm gonna even think about that. - That's the beauty of your egg list. - It's, they're all over the place, but you still love them. So I think as we've talked about, there's something else going on. - Right, because at the end of the day, if that's your person, you will never get it out. - No, no. - I can control my mood. It will be the best mood, and then one small thing just throws me off and ruins my like, weak. I ruminate on very small things and don't know how to stop. Please, my OCD king help me out. So basically, what I've been doing is journaling. - Do you have a mood disorder? - Yes. Yes. I think I do. - Oh no, I just was asking you, you haven't been diagnosed. - No, I've never been diagnosed, but I've been diagnosed with depression, OCD, and anxiety. So I think all those like in combined or a mood disorder. I think you can put them all together. And you know what? And you know what, yes I can. - I know, I can't. - Actually, you know what I just did. - And I just did. Yes I can. Yes I can. Yes I can. That is a mood disorder. Anxiety, depression, and OCD. And ADD, I have a mood disorder. - You have a hard time regulating your moods. - Yes, disorder. It's disorganized. You know yesterday I got not in trouble, but everyone was like, "You're so fucking stupid." Because I thought interview, I was so high, I thought interview meant internal. view of the person, but it actually comes from the French word "intra". So basically I would go on meds. That's the journal and go on meds. Is that bad advice? No, that's what you would do. That's the. I've been on meds. They didn't work for me. Not that they actually worked in a way that I didn't like, because I couldn't feel sad or I couldn't feel happy. It's not like it just like for me. I think they work for other people, but like. I. It took my deep deep depression away, but it also took my like extreme happiness away. Right, we've got it. So then I became a very extreme person because I was just trying to feel something. So they didn't work the way that I wanted them to, but I also know so many people that have been saved by them. So I'm not anti meds, but I think like. You can try meds, see if they work. You can try journaling. Or other kinds of therapy or I think there's so many different. Charlie Raps. Charlie Raps? And honestly for him is very therapeutic. Yeah. There's so many different types of therapy. I write fanfiction. I love it. It's so fun to write something even if you don't put it like I write fanfiction. I don't put it anywhere. Just like it. What are you writing about? You know what? And that's the point of. It's therapy. It's not. You know what I'll say? Not a human. Right. I'm just going to say a question. My boyfriend keeps farting in his sleep every night. We just moved in together and it's getting progressively worse. Every time I'm bringing it up, he just denies it. Well, how can he deny it? He's asleep. Literally asleep. Is this just a superficial problem or do I need to take a look at our relationship as a whole because I'm scared that in the future he will deny more things? No. Oh. I mean, obviously he's asleep. He's not going to be like, "Yeah, I farted." Yeah. You know what? That's why I understand. I understand. I understand. You know, being like, "Is this person going to not take my word for it?" That's scary. To be with someone that you think doesn't take your word for it. Like, I think the person that you should. that you are meant to be with will take your word for it, no matter what. They won't question it. However, farting's embarrassing. Oh my god. What? Should we talk about how I fell down the stairs at your event? Silence the other night? You guys. I had a wrist brace on. I had a hurt, umi event. Which by the way, he should have been his wrist brace and I was like, "You're so annoying. I love it." I had mommy thumb. And I walked up the stairs to get the wide-fi code because I don't drive. So I didn't drive there and I had to leave because my mommy thumb hurt so bad and I had to go home and I had to sleep. And I fell down the stairs and broke a glass and I just walked away and said to photo of the broken glass and I said, "Did anyone see that? No one responded." That is it for the tummy with the rungs. Oh, that's actually another bad. That's like a killer app. It'll get. Yeah. Well, Kaya, what did we learn today? I learned. I forgot cameras were here, which is the best side of the concept. And two, which is a little concerning but great. I learned that this is coming out and the shards comes out. Which is really amazing. And you have to watch the shards. Like I finished the first two episodes last night and I was like, "I need the rest of them." I actually, and I hate watching myself and things just bite out of me look, but I hate it and like, I want more. Because everyone other than me, I'm going to take myself out of it. Everyone's so good in it and it's such a sexy world and even though bad things are happening, you want to be in that world. It's sexy, it's scary, it's gay, it's funny. And it's self-aware. Like when he's sitting in the theater and that opening shot and he's like, "I sat there waiting for the movie to start without a phone to distract myself." Right. We don't do that anymore. But he's talking about it. He's addressing it. He's addressing that there was no phone. There were no phones. But it is really amazing. Like, I'm so excited. I feel like it's about to take you on like the most magical whirlwind. Thanks. We also shout out cigarette acting. The best. Wait, I was about to say, were you not smoking real cigarettes? No, they give you fake herbal cigarettes. They looked real. You guys were doing a great job. They were kind of grosser than real cigarettes. I mean, I would imagine so. And but I'm sort of always like, what do I do with my hands? No, you crushed that. You have a cigarette. You don't have to ask that question because you just, you're, "Oh, I'm having a pensive moment." It's amazing. It was, you crushed it. It was amazing. I'm smoking in every scene of that show because I would get to sit and be like, I think Susan would probably have a cigarette right now, right? And you would. And you would. And you know what? I feel so special having gotten to spend time with you in the cast while you were filming that and hearing all your stories. Is there a performance? This is not including me. That is, you feel like the most different or the most surprising because you do know everyone in that show. Graham. Because it's the most different. I was just like, wait, what? Like I was like, because I know Graham in person and it was just so different. Yeah. Kind of same with IGB? Yes. And Hayes, so all of them. Everyone. Everyone, all of you. Homer. Homer, all of you. Actually, all of you. It's funny because you're doing the scenes with them and I'm like, I'm watching my friends act and then I'm watching the show and I'm like, my friends are really good actors. You're all really good actors and it's an incredible show. And I'm, I feel like it's about to take you on this magical journey that like you've finished the first part of the magical journey and now it's the second part of the magical journey and I'm so excited to do it. I want to do it again. I want to smoke more herbal cigarettes. Really? I do. I, I want to, Ryan Murphy, please. Ryan Murphy. Ryan Murphy. Please. Please. And we're Glee Hads, both of us. We are Glee Hads. And it's kind of like Glee if Glee had murder and yeah. You know what, Ryan described the difference between camp and broke to me, which I didn't know. What's broke? I know that it's an art. So camp is like something that takes itself seriously but then we end up making fun of like, oh, that's camp. Oh, broke. Knows what it's doing. It's in on the joke. It's kind of the thing you talk about with the banana peel. It's the Hannah Horvath. By the way, I feel like I'm either Hannah or Marney and you're Elijah. I am Elijah. No, I'm not. You're that is gay. I feel like I'm, you think I'm Hannah, you think I'm Elijah? I feel like I'm Hannah. Maybe I'm Elijah and you're Hannah. I think maybe because Elijah is very self assured and like knows like, I know what he wants and gets it and I'm not. The truth is that you're Hannah and I'm Marney but I don't want to talk about that. Okay, that's fine. Okay. I don't think you're Marney. You are not Marney. You are not Marney. We learn that you're not Marney. I love you. I love you. I love you. Hi, I love you. I actually, I love you so much. Well, we're best friends. And by the way, talk about something that you remember when we were saying like, you just have to say you're doing it and then it happens. We would say we were best friends before we were best friends. I know. And now we're actually best friends. And I really love you so much. I love you so much. I think you're the funniest person that has ever walked the earth. I think you are the most talented, most beautiful and the best thing to ever happen to me. Stop. I mean it. And Lewis, I love you too. You know what to do. Bye, Fessies. [MUSIC]