Session 122: Marisa Abela

(upbeat music) - Are you ready? - Yeah. - Marisa dollars here! - I mean, no introduction needed on my end. - I get, well I think for a little bit more. (laughing) - She plays Yaz in the best show on television I'll die by that industry on HBO. And I have been an industry fan since COVID. - That's great. - Yeah, we've talked about this. And we took people a minute to catch on. - Like yesterday. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Unfortunately, this episode is gonna contain spoilers 'cause I do need to talk about it all. - I think so. Also I think by this point, it's too much to be like, no spoiler, like, you gotta get watching it now. - The character development of Yaz reminds me of Daenerys in Game of Thrones. - Oh yeah, yeah. - Kind of, right? - Totally. - You want her to win so bad? What the fuck is going on? - I know. I mean also, especially if we got rewind to the beginning of season one, like this is the girl walking in carrying salads, super vulnerable, super scared, getting bullied at work, not sure if she's like ever gonna be able to say anything like boo to a goose. And suddenly, like we're here. - I just feel like she gets screwed over. - What was it? The end of season one was Harper screwing her over with the HR complaint. - Yeah, yeah. - Season two. How did season two-- - Season two, her father cut her off. - Right. - Yeah, she has no money at the end of season two. She's looked out of her apartment. She's like filling with her keys and she's looked out of her apartment. Her father's cut her off. So then season three, she's living with Harper and Rob. - Oh, I miss Rob. - I know, I know. Me too. - I miss her. - Such a soft, gooey, gushy part of the show that none of us exist. - I mean, that season three finale. I honestly might rewatch it tonight just to feel something. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was it because I think, I mean, there are so many turning points for Yasmin. Like, so many turning points for who she, like for the evolution of like the woman that we see now in front of us at the end of season four. That's a big one at the end of season three. That choice, that choice that she makes-- - That defines the rest of her-- - It totally does. - Right? - She makes a choice and she's like, "I want that." And then, obviously, what if season four happens, but other things are, I think the biggest turning point for Yasmin as a character, actually, is there's a moment in season two where there's a character Kenny, the Northern Irish. Yeah. - Yeah. - Connor McNeil, I was like, "One of my favorite people on the planet, he's so good." And he comes up and she's in a meeting and he says something to her about the fact that I can't believe you would let this happen to Venetia. And he bullied her for the whole season one. And Yasmin goes in, and for the first time, we see like the gun finger come out and her being like, "Oh, I remember on the trading floor, right?" - Yeah. - And like she, I think that's, that was the moment that I think "Making Karma" by the writers were like, "Oh, Marisa could be like a gangster." - I don't know about where she's going, but 100%. I think what "Making Karma" were like, what "Thinking" was, where, how far can we push the audience as a legion says, you know? Like this is a woman who has, also the amazing thing about television, as like a long form, art form, I guess, is you have years to live with a character. So we're not asking people to jump in after like 20 minutes of exposition and being like, and this is how like someone comes to these decisions. We're saying you've seen everything that happened to her for her about her for like the last five years. This is the culmination of all of those things, how do you feel now? And it's like, hmm. (upbeat music) - Okay, so the thing about me is I'm a little stupid in the head, so I actually didn't understand what was going on in season four. Like I understood that Harper and Eric were short, we're betting on the loss of. - Yeah, tender. - Of tender. - Betting on tender losing, that's like, that's what you need today. - Right, okay, great, that's what I. - You got it. - That's it, that's it. - Because I was like, wait, I feel like I'm, but then how, and you, that moment, there's this like moment in season four where Yaz realizes what Harper's doing, and she just has this moment of like, she's so not surprised. - She said, yeah, 100%. She's wearing that like insane A.T.'s orange shirt. She's like, why are you hell-bent on blowing up like my life? Why can't you be happy for me? And I think it's so interesting. I either meet people who are like Yasmine, I would walk through fire for her, or I meet people who are like, constant her. Like, she's so entitled, she's so whatever, and I don't necessarily mean now. I think this season is like throwing a sign under the watch for everyone, but from season one, they're like, oh, shut up. Like, you know, and for me, but I mean, either way, I'm like, people feel something so I'm happy. But for the people who loved Yasmine, and were like, she's an icon, those people I feel sorry for. - Yeah. - And I'm just saying eight. 'Cause I'm like, how do you back that? - You can, it's unbackable. - It's unbackable. It's actually kind of savage. Like even if you still back, 'cause you can't say that out loud. - You can. - 'Cause it's like, well, she's like, it's-- - Human trafficking. - Yeah, it's human trafficking. - But how, like, where is the money coming from at this point? 'Cause you see her walk in with these bags, with Kiernan Shipka, and like all these bags, and you're like, but where is she now making this money? - Well, someone likes to fan of it, who is the guy that she's hosting the dinner for, will be kind of, I guess, backing her. She's not paying for any of it. So she's kind of, she's like, organizing all of it, but these people are sort of funding her lifestyle now. Which means she's kind of at the mercy. Again, she's put herself in a situation where she's at the mercy of men who don't necessarily have the best intentions. But this thing of what she's decided to do with Haley's character, I mean, there's no two ways about it. It's come out of her own head. - Yeah. - No one's gonna go into her head forcing her to do this. So, but it's a way of having control. I mean, like, she's always, even since season one, like her body and sex in one way or another has been a currency for her, and as she gets older, and I think she's become more like numbed her own desires, she's just using that in other people. I mean, it's intense. - It's intense. - Yeah. - Was there a moment this season? Like, do you discover what's happening when you get the sides or when you do, like, a read through? - When I have a meeting, so we were option for three seasons. I had a meeting in McKincoma when they were pitching season four to us, and I was like, what's the vibe? And they were like, hear me out, sex trafficking. I was like, what? - Like, how do we even get there? - I mean, I could not understand. But then again, I was like, when they were like, in season three, they were like, hear me out, you kill your dad. - Yeah, here you go. - What? And I love a challenge, you know what it means. So I was just excited to kind of get into it with them, you know, and like, I was excited to motivate something that felt unmotivatable. And I just love doing the show. I love the writing. I love, like, what they allowed me to do. That second episode, like-- - My God. - Yeah. - There's a moment with you and Henry and your fighting, and you like, almost hit him. - Yeah, and you win, sis. - Yeah, like, that-- - My favorite moment. - That was my favorite moment to you. That was felt real. - It's, it's also so dark. Like, that thing, someone's saying something to you, and you're going to hit them, and them like, wincing. It's like, it's kind of savage to watch. And also, that whole scene, that whole argument, it's just one take, which is like, oh, woman, 'cause I fucked this up, you know what I mean? At the final minute of that scene, it's like a six minute scene or something. - Do you think we've seen the end of Eric? - I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Again, it's kind of that sort of like unforgivable. It's like, it's like, how do you come back from that? - His performance, when he gets that text, when he gets that text, and he's like, looking straight out, and his kid is, oh my god, his kid is calling for him. And you're like, oh, my god. - And he finally comes to like the point where he's like, this is it for me. - But what I love about the show is that so often, I think the notes that people get, especially with female characters, it's like, it's too unlikable. I don't, like, she's unruitable. Like, I don't, like, the audience are never going to back her, they're never going to watch them again. I'm making it, the writers are just like, yeah, whatever. - Right. - You know what I mean? Like, people exist. We can like, push the boundaries of what people are willing to accept, and women, especially, are like allowed to be very flawed, and I will trust that people will still watch them and enjoy them, you know? I love doing it first of all, like, it's an opportunity for you to just go crazy. It's so fun. Like, when there's a scene in season three when I'm talking to Karen, Eric, Gasm's talking to Eric. So she's wearing like a lawyer wig, and there's a girl doing like a handstand in the background, and they're like on Coke, and they're like talking at a million miles an hour. And it's just so fun. Like, I know the audience loves that part of the show too. So whenever there's like a go-out scene, and like a go. crazy scene, I'm happy for them. - They also set it up so well, they're like, should we go out? - Yeah. - And then they're like, yeah, and that's when you know like the episode flips. - Yeah, 100%. - And when she says, I wanna do other thing that Lords do, I think that Lord thinks about things about, and she's like, I think Lord thinks about being 17. - And I was like, exactly. - Yeah, I'm like, I love being 17. I'm just like, it's so fun, and I love that for the audience. I love that, I mean, I think that the audience at the show as well, it's one of the reasons that the show has done so well because they are like, they will, they back it, you know? They're like, I want to see these people have so much fun. I want to see them like, take drugs and party, and like, I'm Mickey and Commander like, yeah, go on then. - Does Mickey and Conrad, they're ex-bangers? - Yeah. - So this is all like, where did this idea begin for them? - I think they just thought, you know, I think that there was the kind of, honestly, I think there was at the time, something HBO with it, but like, we really want to do things that are kind of peaked behind the curtain of a world that people don't fully understand. And I think they were like, well, we know that, we know industry, we know the finance industry, and we can do that. Also, you know, look like Wolf of Wall Street, and people love sex, drugs, and money. You know, and like, at the core of it, well, that's what industry was about in season one. Sex, drugs, and money. - And now. - And now it's about sex trafficking. - Literally, I was like watching the finale, and I was like, holy shit, I remember at the end of season one, when the biggest thing, the biggest thing would season one was the speech that they had to give. Do you remember after, what was that speech that they had to like, prove their word to the company? - Yeah, and Gus's character was like, short, short, the VIX by the dip, fuck Bitcoin, or something like that, and that was like, everyone was like, this is so crazy, and it comes out of nowhere too. - Out of nowhere, but it's like, where was she left to go? You, I mean, that sounds horrible, 'cause it's like there's like other places left to go out of the sex trafficking, but like, really like what, she was working for Henry's uncle, or something. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It was very unfulfilled, it's it. - Oh my God. Also, I do think, maybe I'm crazy, but I think at the beginning of the season, like, she's trying to be a good wife to him, you know? That episode too, like, when she's like opening the curtains and she wants to have sex with him, and like, she wants to, you know, and here is, we know what Yasmin's like in the bedroom. We've seen it in season one too. This guy doesn't even want to touch her, doesn't want to look at her, he doesn't find her. Like, there's, she's so unfulfilled, and she's, if her ultimate goal is to feel necessary, this guy is literally saying, like, I have made that do that, I have other people to have sex with. I have other, like, I have drugs to get happiness from, just blending me part of the furniture, and like, as if that's ever gonna happen, you know? - Never. - No. - That episode too is one of the most insane, when that plot twist drops at the end of episode two, and you realize he's talking to his dad. - Yeah. - I had no idea. - I didn't either. - What do you mean? - I also, like, even reading it. I was like, what's going on? And then, when we were like, on set, I was like, it's a God, it's the ghost of his father, and like, it all kind of came to me. Like, also that actor Jack Farthing is so good. - Yeah, he's in front of us. - He's such a great performance, and it is so good in that episode. And like, when he comes in and those Elton John Garces and kicking up a storm, and I mean, it was just wild. Like, it was, also, what show was that? Like, we've been doing industry on a trading floor for three seasons. We're suddenly in this, like, Mana House and Somerset, and we're just, it's like a period drama. I mean, it was kind of insane, you know? And the woman that played by Aunt was amazing. - She was incredible. - She was so fat. - When Yaz kicks her out. - I know. - But that line was so cutting, where she said, like, your father was going to terminate you. - I know. - I was like, oh my God. - It's so dark. - So dark. - Jasmine takes some punches. - She's really nice. - You know? - She gets up. - She gets up every single time. I'm like, so season five is the last season. - Yeah, for sure. Officially it's the last season, I know. - Do you think it's gonna happen? Like, I feel like every season it gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. Did you guys think you were getting a season two after season one? - No way. So like, Mickey and Conrad write every season like it's the last one. And that's why at the end, you're always like, oh my God. - But the fact is, is that the fact that now, and if that's how they wrote it, I guess they always, if this is the last one, then we want to go out with it and we don't want to, you don't want to hold any punches. But I guess they're always hoping there's another season, whereas the great thing about season five and what I'm excited for is that they know. - Yeah. - It's not coming back. It's their choice. You know, they were like, we don't want it to get worse. So like, it's done. So what can they do with that energy? If they fully don't even hope it's coming back. I'm scared. - Yeah. - Personally, it'll be fun, you know. - What point did you realize the show was catching on? - I think when HBO decided to cast Kate Harrington, I was like, oh, they're back here. - Yeah. - Because Kate brings an audience by himself. We were like, we were really passionate about creating something that people loved and just every day we come into work and we'd give it everything. The show has a real energy of like, it was never like, and Kar was like, so what you do? You know what I mean? - Yeah. - Or like, really out top about it. But when Kate joined, I was like, oh, there are gonna be eyes on now. And I felt that ramp up. And then when it came out, people were just like, I mean, you could just feel it. More people on the street are like, oh, I'm obsessed with industry, like. - On TikTok. - On TikTok, making those amazing. I look like the little like, gaffing and half a montage or whatever. I didn't even, it just, and this season even more than ever. I want a BAFTA in season three. So that was, thank you. - Well, fucking deserved, by the way. - Thank you. - Well, fucking deserved. - That one was like, oh, like, people think our performances are like, they're brilliant. - Thank you. - They're brilliant. - No, like, is New On's the right word? - Yeah. - I mean, like, I'm like, yeah, I think, like, New On's is that, like, there's just so much depth and what her name is, incredible, sweet pea. - Miriam, you know, Miriam and I went to Youth Theatre together and where I grew up in Brighton. - Did you really? - I mean, she's younger than me, but what she must have been like 11 and I was like 14. And we were just sort of like skipping around a room. And they were like, now be sunshine. Whatever. And when she turned up in season three, I was like, Miriam, it was crazy. - Oh, you had no idea. - I had no idea she was doing it, but I love her. And I think she's so good. I think the cast thing in the show is so smart. - It is so smart. - Who are these, you know, we were all, it was my first job. I was at a drama school when I booked industry. - Tell me about like the booking of it all. - This is so embarrassing. So they were Louis Vuitton trainers that I bought for the read-through. - Uh-huh. - And I turned up on that day 'cause they were like, Yasmin is a rich girl. She's, you know, the log live Yasmin was a vulnerable to disguise by Prada. And I thought, okay, like I need to like present. It's like, you know, I was sort of student. I had no money, whatever. It's like I need to present. It's what I knew I was getting this, you know, my first ever paycheck. So with my first paycheck, I went to Louis Vuitton and I bought these trainers. They were like, hype BC trainers, massive. - Yeah, yeah. - Same. So not Yasmin. So not anything I would like normally, but I was just like, what says LV? The loudest like I'm possibly see it. Those, I bought them. And I remember turning up a Mickey and Conway, the writers looking at you being like, no babe. - Wait, and you had already booked the part? - I had already booked the part. - Okay. - Yeah, and the audition was like, Lena Dunham was in the room, 'cause obviously she directed episode run. So like, they don't know what in the room, the cast and director, Mickey and Conrad. And I remember I had an audition. It was just me. Then I did a chemistry read with Harry for Robert. Then, yeah, I mean, I was, like I said, I was set up drama school. I booked it before I graduated. So I like went back to Rada halfway through episode one to graduate, like it was insane. I was actually 22. - You were 22 when you booked it? - Yeah. - Wow. - Yeah, it's crazy. - Do you remember the scene that you auditioned with? - Yes, it was, it was the scene, well, one of them was a scene, the scene where Kenny puts the assignment on the bin and she has to like pitch what she thinks. - Kenny was horrible. - He was horrible. - And you forget that. I forgot that in season four until you literally just reminded me that he was like-- - Bullied her at what? - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then when she tried to like bully someone back, he was like, no. - So that's why-- - He was on his growth. - So bejani. - Right, but that's why her decisions like make sense, 'cause they're horrible. But like, you understand why we've, how we've gotten to that point. - How we've gotten to that point. - Yeah, for sure. I mean, doing the chemistry read with him was really useful. With Harry was really useful. I mean, I remember Harry being like, well, now we're like very, very close friends [BLANK_AUDIO] halfway through season one we were like talking and he was like I thought you were a bitch in that chemistry read and I was like what and he was like yeah I remember thinking oh she's gonna get it and like this is gonna be such a nightmare and it's like no way and it's probably great for the chemistry because that kind of was the vibe but I was not it was nerves I was nervous and it wasn't really talking to him he already had the part up right and you had it I hadn't I didn't have it right so it was nerves and I guess I wasn't like hi hi yeah yeah like hello yeah let's go I go here yeah and I really also she's the dominant one sexually in that relationship so I was like you had he had the power in the room because he had the job I didn't but I was like don't cuck me bitch yeah like I'm here to like on the boss did you ever have to do a chemistry read with Mahala no which is insane because we have the best chemistry ever yeah yeah thank god by the way because if the show would just be a completely I don't even know if you haven't be a character anymore if it wasn't for like that chemistry it became the love story of the show and it's so easily couldn't have been it's the only love I feel like they know yeah yeah it's with each other yeah yeah and it's like they keep a train each other and it's like how how low is too low for them until there's no going back yeah I mean maybe this will you finally see Harper have morals yeah yeah yeah right right you finally see her be like what is going on the crazy the craziest part of season four was when you were at the the house in Austria I know and you're looking at the painting and it says a Hitler I know I know I know I know and she's like what the fuck you're at a actual not these house I know I know I know it's insane it was insane I literally was like I I said to making a card I was like this is so dark and like the fact that he hasn't then goes for a walk with her afterwards and it's like what do we I mean no actually that was at the end wasn't it but still invites her to the dinner at the I was like next to Harper and when she sits at the on the sofa with Harper at the very end it's like I'm really sorry obviously I had no idea lies bitch you had every idea you saw the Hitler painting but I feel like gasmin almost believes it herself yeah she's like well you know everything's kind of excusable I didn't know that they'd actually be racist like then and there right right I mean like it's one thing to have a Hitler painting it's another thing to be like racist that a dinner table yeah I mean just like it's full of excuses yeah what do you make of the her plane her dad's voicemail over and over and over and over again I think it's a bit like you know what they tell you Scientologists kind of do which is like trauma like shock therapy how many times can you listen to this thing that is there has traumatized you right until you are completely devoid of like the horrible emotional response from it that's what she's trying to do she's like we're seeing herself like numb in real time lot you know like I always I see us in this season is like a big kind of like door like doors being like locked one at a time right and that's the final like clink and she's just like yeah a villain yeah a villain I mean I don't want to say like she's in her villain era because that makes it sound like yeah like just it's fully like there's no there's no coming back from what's happened there isn't but we're about to do a season five so what the fuck is happening I don't know and I'm are you one of you guys start filming again August I have the first episodes do you really yeah I don't even normally I would be like tell me everything off camera I don't even want to know no I don't think you do I need to experience it I don't want to know before I go in I want to read the episodes as they come the only time I needed to know ahead of time was season three where obviously in episode six it's clear that Yasmin's Yasmin's killed her dad right so you need to know that from the beginning because there's flashbacks but if there's no flashbacks I don't need to know because Yasmin doesn't know so like let it happen in real time but I mean you know I read these last few episodes and I'm like are they duties like like like does it put season four on its head kind of the thing the great thing about making come out is that they don't go like exposition at the beginning of the episode as to why like everything has changed now they back themselves and they're like oh we said this is where it was gonna go so this is where we are but it's not necessarily like you know it's not what you'd expect I never is no it never is yeah I miss peer point I know me too I miss the good old days I know a trading floor yeah I said that I was like it would be really nice to see you know at some point in season five a big trading floor scene I don't know where that would happen or how it would yeah yeah yeah yeah oh my god well truly your performance this season has just been nothing short of extraordinary it is so nice it's true and I tell you every time I see you out I'm always like oh my god I love that every time I see you out like I'm gonna just like always like out and about but you have every time I know I know I know I know and I really appreciate it obviously it's like the nicest thing well you it's well well deserved Louise do you have any question because this is Louise's today is Louise's Roman Empire I mean I guess it's not like there's just so much there's so much meat to the show like Henry can we talk more about your relationship with Henry yeah I would love to touch on more of that because do you love him did you love him did she ever I think I think that he like if you're going to marry for money you don't really ever know fully whether you're in love with someone or not like what they are giving you is so valuable right it feels like life I also don't think the Jasmine fully understands what like love is did she ever like lie in bed thinking I wonder if he's thinking about me no fuck no yeah but I don't think and did she about Robert yes but does Jasmine necessarily equate that to love I don't think so I think she thinks like can I visualize a life with this man yes do I want can't do I want to buy what he's selling yes am I attracted to him yes like that's enough for her did she love him unconditionally does she love would she ever have put him above herself no but she would never do that for anyone maybe Harper maybe maybe how to push maybe yet but like I pray that there's just like I know there won't be no but I need a happy ending for them I know me too because like that scene where they're at the bar and she says like when the fuck are you gonna look after me she says tonight and they and you guys like fine you like kiss and you dance and you do drugs and you're like and it's like that's the I think the only moment of like hope throughout all of season 4 yeah yeah I think the best thing we can see from Yasmin that would feel redeemable to an audience that loves Harper as well I think would be for her to do something that feels like purely altruist like purely good for Harper like a selfless act for Harper it's like what we need from Yasmin in season 5 we've never seen it no we've never seen it like even when Harper was staying at Yasmin's house Yasmin kind of like held it over her head a bit 100% yeah but I do think like I think the Yasmin loves Harper more than she's ever loved anyone else on the show I think she I think she did love Robert but I don't know but it's like it's not you know yeah and I think she loved just how much Robert loved her 100% I think this Robert yeah I've not done a sex scene in this show in a while I didn't do one in season 4 I don't think that was the last one I did was that bench scene with Robert and that was like it was like the first time that I think anyone really on the show it like made love yeah you know and it was like it was the least it was the most sentimental I'd seen the show was that and there is that whole flashback of like all of the moments of their relationship I mean making incredible I don't really that the show is not it's pretty unsentimental I'm pretty savage and then you get moments like that and it's like oh my god it's so I miss Robert too and I think that like I think that he just opens up things for both Harper and Yasmin that is useful for an audience you know it's just it would be nice for the final season one last time to see the whole gang get back together for like five seconds yeah it's all I could ever want so what are you therapist about today oh my god okay let me think about this what are people normally say like what kind of anything anything I'm therapist that I'm like back in the throws of before yeah okay like I thought I was off it I need to and I'm back on yeah pretty hardcore are you enjoying it because it's one a week it's one a week and the thing about euphoria that I didn't think they would do that they did is the characters have all connected again I thought too much time had passed from season two yeah like Nate and Cassie were doing their own thing Alexa Demi was doing her own thing like every rule was doing her like everyone was off doing their own thing But they all come back and connect it. That's so smart. It gets you. Yeah, and I was sitting there on the couch last night Like fuck, I'm back in it. I love that. Yeah. It was amazing to be able to bring one of those people I mean those like like a list of right together. How I don't know how they wanted to do that Well, it took five years. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, it's true. It's kind of amazing Um, I would say that I am pissed about how hard it is in this room tell me you know what I'm pissed about I'm pissed about how far L.A. away is away from London. That's what I'm pissed about. It's far. I wish it was Closer. I love it here so much. I really do and I also am pissed about people being like I hate L.A. I'm vice versa. I'm hate I hate when people in London are like I could never live there Like and I hate when people here are like I could never I hate London I'm like how a lot of people here are like I hate London. What? What is there to hate about London? Besides the doom and gloom I think the obviously the everyone's like I hate the weather, but also people are just like It's not like New York in the it's not like anything. It happened. It's all quite right and I do get that But I think you once you kind of get under the skin of London. It's the best city I think it's like one of the best cities in the world obviously like New York on crap. Yeah Yeah, I think it's where these people going in London. I know. I think they're like staying at the Corinthian on a press tour And they don't they're not going anywhere else, you know what I mean But I love being in L.A. I think it's so fun But I hate the fact that it is 11 hours away on a plane Can't sleep on a plane so I'm just like that you can't you don't even you can't take anything to sleep. I mean listen A bit like I'm I mean listen Usually I'm landing and then I'm going to work So I like I'm like no, I can't and we don't want to like I'm was that that shit stays with me. Yeah, and I'd be sat here right now like Right, right song. So yeah, so I'm obviously I'm always coming here to work. So I can't but I Yeah, I wish it was closer. I love London. Do you yeah? What's your favorite things do do in London? I think what I love about London is how and I say this about Europe as a whole is how day by day the culture is as opposed to like Let's think a thousand miles in the future because in my I think a thousand miles in the future every single day And that's just like how I was raised in New York how I was how I live here It's like people can say L.A. is very day by day, but it's not but in Europe it's very like wake up What do we do today? Yeah, let me get my job done for the day. Yeah, for sure Let me exist as a person today and I will figure out tomorrow. Well, I think that's also about like oh I can just sort of walk around and decide what it is. I want to do and bump into a person and and and have a kind of like spontaneous moment where it's here That is the one thing. There's no you can't be spontaneous really can you and I you have to have it figured out Because like you've got to get in your car and drive for a while and I don't drive I know that's since I obviously get uber's everywhere when I'm here because I've never I don't want to drive on the other side of the road That freaks me out. I okay can't so and I can't Imagine living here and ubering everywhere. That is I know my uber I know my uber drivers because they probably live like nearby they go yeah, yeah, do you get recognized like a bunch in London? Yes in London It depends but the thing is the difference is in London I would get recognized by bankers mostly Always are all the bankers watching the show. Oh, they love it They're obsessed are there because it's real. Yeah, it strikes a chord for them. Yeah So in London I would get recognized mostly by bankers And obviously in LA in New York I get recognized by creatives. Yeah, and it's so that's a different feeling because you're like If you will aren't like yes, man, they're like oh my god The actress the plays gasman and they want to talk to you about like the making of the show or like you Whereas that whereas people in London are like it's yes, man Yeah, yeah, I'm like it's not but have you ever been like scared to like Play a certain storyline out for gasman because you're like scared to like portray it. Yeah, I was definitely scared about the end of this season So it's like it's just it's so dark and also I was like a people gonna be okay In terms of their own experiences watching this like that. I think you have to be aware of and like Aware of you know whenever you're getting into kind of areas around like consent and all that kind of stuff. We've got to be careful Um in a in an artistic way. I'm not necessarily scared to like roach difficult territory I think as an actor the things I'm usually more scared about are like sex scenes or like you know that's like nerve-wracking whenever I see that and I script them like Okay, I've got on or there's going to be a day in that month where I am Naked in front of a whole room full of people and I actually find that scarier than the camera that's capturing it It's gonna show it to a million people Which is which is weird like I'm because you can separate it. Yeah, it's like You can be like that's gone now, but when you're like actively naked in front of I can't even imagine right Well because also when the camera goes down it's it's me again. Yeah, and that's vulnerable whereas I'm really quite free about the fact that like that person exists inside your television isn't me But the person that exists when you put the camera down is so if I'm then still stood there naked It's like I'll start all have been like Yeah, and then as soon as they go down I'm like this because I'm like that's so exposing, you know Right, and you you've just been talking to the boom up about the fact that like his kid is going to nursery tomorrow You know, yeah, and you're like I make it right. Yeah, and it's just jarring. Yeah, that's jarring When did you know you wanted to act? I well my mother is an actor and she Mostly does theatre has always done theatre and I She raised me sort of on it. She's a single mother so when I When it was at school holidays and stuff she was in a play I'd be like in the rehearsal room for her Plays or I'd be in the dressing room while she was getting ready. So I always around it a lot But at the same time I knew that it was quite a up and down career I knew that like you know sometimes it went better than others and like In the years where it wasn't so good. It was kind of sketchy and it was a hard career So I resisted it for a long time and although I would do school plays and stuff like that I didn't want to do it necessarily as a career I actually was accepted to university to do history with a law conversion and that was my goal And then when I was going to open days at universities, I was like I don't care. I like just don't care Yeah, I wouldn't be an actor, but I'm just scared And I think I needed the valid it. I went to drama school and and a lot of people don't But I needed that I needed an institution like writer to say to me You're gonna enough for me to believe it to commit to a lifetime of being an actor And then did you were you on a bunch of auditions before industry or was industry one of the first industry was like Maybe my third professional audition ever And did you like think anything like did you go into it thinking like I'm gonna book this this show is gonna change my life I have to say like okay, no, I didn't know that it was gonna change my life and I didn't I knew it was good. I do it enough scripts by that point to know that like this was really good Didn't like I wasn't like I'm gonna get this, but I think I like accidentally manifested my whole life like I was never like I was never like Oh Is it gonna happen for me I think once I got into rudder and once I Was you know in that amazing creative space and amazing actors and like surrounded by people that were inspiring to me I was like like you have to back yourself. Yeah, otherwise It's such a scary industry. It's such a scary. I mean, you know what it's like when you're if you're gonna put yourself out there You have to like Think something can happen from it. Otherwise What's the point so when I walked in that room? Did I know it's gonna get that part? No, but was I like if they give it to me I could do it. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I was I was excited and I didn't think for a second like you know on that first season like That I would end up here about to do a fifth season Really in a show that people think is good. No, I didn't know it was gonna be Like that has because yeah, it's amazing. Are you are you scared to say goodbye Diaz? I am I am scared say goodbye. I am I I Love I love playing her I'm excited for the future like what what you know at the end of the day There is Something obviously incredible about being in something for five seasons, but also It's a lot of time. So what does my life look like when I'm a bit more free? I a part of the great thing about being an actor is like playing all of these different roles So I'm excited to see what that brings But and you know you do you take meetings of people and they're always like I don't know if you've got another season of industry and you're like yeah, and they're like okay, well I'll see you on the easy run. So that's exciting But yeah, I mean I just hope my god like wherever we end this last season is where she ends And that is the suckiest part I got it she didn't and hear though 'cause they would. - Yeah, I know it was short. - They would. - If HB didn't pick it up, like that would pick. That's the last image of Yasin lying on that floor listening to her dad's voice spell. I mean, bleak. - Really bleak. - But who knows? The next one might be even bleaker, so. - I pray it's not, but I know what will be. - I know, I know. - That's the worst part as I know that it was, it's kid. In industry, I feel like there is not a happy ending for anyone. - Yeah. - Ever. - I know, I know. But maybe Rob got an okay, and he's driving away. I mean, obviously it was like heart breaking. - Where did he go off to again, the States, right? - Yeah. - Yeah. Or sometimes it goes something to sell mushrooms. - Yeah. - Good for him. - Good for him. - Yeah, I found it. - Do you keep in touch with Harry? - Yeah. Yeah. My heart is higher and I are very close. - How are you dealing with like visibility in the public? How do you handle that? 'Cause I feel like every season for industry gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. - Yeah, definitely, yeah. I mean, it's interesting. I never think of myself as someone who anyone really, I mean, like fame, it's so interesting. There are such varying degrees of it. And I energy you see people that are like, it feels crazy for me to talk about fame when like, you know, there are like, people that are so famous. - Right. - In the world, you know what I mean? There's like all I care about is having the level of success that means I can book whatever job I want to do. And like, so for that with industry, I feel like it's kind of a perfect level of people that watch it, especially in our industry, like it enough to think like, she's good. She could do this, you know what I mean? That's great. When I'm not some, you know, sometimes when people are like, you know, for example, I was like picking up a prescription the other day at my pharmacy in London. And I was like, it was like post-workout. I was like holding like pills like this in my hand. And someone was like, can I get a picture? And I was like, I really don't want to be the person who's like, no, this point of my career is like, who do you think you are? You know, it's not like everyone's stopping me every five minutes on the street. But like, you know, you should, that kind of side of it is a bit, is a guess a bit jarring. But I just like love that people love the show. And it always depends what they say when people are like, I love, if someone's like, I loved you in back to black, or I loved you in back black, a black bag. I'm like, oh, I'm always expected to be industry. So when it's something else, I'm like, oh, that's so, oh. I know, I told you I loved back to black. Thank you. I really did. I thought you did an excellent job. It's very kind of you. It was, you know, it's a big one, and it's stressful to take on something that is so, it has a visibility, you know, that's hard. Taking something on where like, people have genuine, it's one thing where the people think that like, people hate Yasmin, or love Yasmin. But they like, at the end of the day, if they're watching industry, it's because they like the show. Whereas when you're playing someone like Amy Winehouse, that's going to just come with opinions that is very difficult to juggle. Well, because people are like, you are taking on someone that we know. We know, yeah, yeah, and we know her. And that was always the thing with Amy, was I feel like that people, she was this on Janoo that everyone thought they knew. Totally. And she just completely rejected that. And so you kind of saw that in the way people react to anything done with her. Right, right. Also, it's like, they have personal connections to her music, which I have nothing to do with, which I completely understand, you know, you're like, if that's, if back to black is the album you listened to, and you were going through your first heartbreak, or when you were like, didn't have friends at school, and that was the album that you listened to. And then there's like this girl that's like, I'm about to play at Amy Winehouse. You're a bit like, well, that's, what are you talking about? You know what I mean, I get that. But it's interesting, I think that, you know, I think the women have a very hard time with biopics often. People are a bit more like, no, you stay in your lane. - Yes, yeah. And I think that that's hard, and it's hard to watch, frankly, like, you know, young men get away with it in a way that like, I just see people, you know, attach to things, and then there's an outcry online, and then they drop out, 'cause, you know, I think it's hard. It's almost like we see you as this star. We see you as Marisa Bella, this star. You also can't be this person. - 100%. - It's like almost like all the dudes can get along, but it's like all the, like, the woman can't be other. - And also it's like, was she, I think there's a thing of like, would she have even liked you, you know what I mean? - Right. - But it's like, can these two women share a space, you know? And I think people are a bit more like, who do you think you are? That was an icon, and who do you think you are? And like, people don't want that from women, which is, it's hard to take, to step into it. What you're saying is you are willing to at least try and fill the space of something that is massive, and amazing. And people are like, mm-hmm, not you, you know what I mean? And that's really, I don't think that's going to change anytime soon, unfortunately, but it's what I love about Mickey and Conrad writing industry. Like, you know, they're like, be messy. Make mistakes, go crazy. And it really gives us a space to not be so afraid. I mean, you know, I remember when I was filming back to Black, I was like, people are going to hate this. And I never felt like that with industry. - Even when I'm doing something like the end of season four. - Yeah. - You know, people might hate this, but I'm like, I never felt like people are going to hate me. - It's because, yeah, it feels like, I don't know, like, I feel like I view it as such like a people view like women as like, we want you to be successful in this bubble we created. The second you join bubbles with another female or whatever, like, exist outside of the space we've created you in. Like, it's your off. - I don't want to know, yeah, exactly. - Yeah. - Well, what's something you like learned about Amy, while filming that? 'Cause I'm a huge fan. - Oh you, yeah, me too. I mean, she's just the most amazing artist, I guess. I mean, there were so many things, things like, I mean, little stories that were helpful were things like, you know, she had this, she had a bird that she loved and it died. And when she was 12, called Ava, after like, Ava Gardner, and they had a funeral for it, like, she loved animals. Things like that, like, she was so giving. She would always, there were like, neighbors that she had that she would always, like, try and support financially, incredibly giving, incredibly generous, which I think gets lost in the fact that, you know, in just her reputation and the kind of, the, like, outbursts that she would have publicly sort of out, shone everything else, but this spirit of generosity and people around her, when I was researching for the role, was saying things to me, like, that is so important. She was so funny, like, she was so funny. All women, people laugh and she was like, she was, you know, she could have been a stand-up if she wanted to be. She could have been this, and I think that that was really important. Yes, I'm playing like Amy Winehouse, the singer, but it's like, no, you're paying the person, the person that could have been a million things if she wanted to be. And I think the main thing that I wanted to explore was, like, her capacity, the love, like this woman that, like, wanted so badly to, like, be loved and be a wife and a mother, and, like, that was the heartbreak for me in the story was, I mean, she couldn't have reached higher heights in her career, but again, like, where do you play it? Where does your value come from? I mean, I think the thing about Amy was that she was someone with, like, actually a lot of self-belief. If anyone had told us she was a bad singer, she'd have been, like, as if, like, she 100% knew that she was, like, great in that way, but did that give her the sense of value that she was really looking for as a person? No. And that's why we're drugs and alcohol come in. You know, yes, there's, like, there's a fear and there's a shyness when someone steps on stage. And I do think that that got to her, because she, people thought she was great, so she had to be great every time. But really, that, like, that whole came from the fact that, like, this thing that she was greater wasn't feeling. Yeah, fulfilling her. Oh, God. It's heartbreak. It's really heartbreak. Yeah. Do you have a favorite Amy song? I think Love is a losing game. It's like one of the greatest songs of all time. It's one of those-- I found Fuck Me Pumps, though, the first album more. Like, I love that song. I love doing all of that album, like, playing that version of Amy was so great, because obviously it's more joyful. So it was so fun to, like, play Fuck Me Pumps and Do. All that stuff, obviously, yeah, but Love is a losing game. What's that song she has about the guy being gay, maybe? Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Please go to her first album. What's it called? It's called, like, it's so good. Yeah, it's so funny. It's so quick. She's so witty. She was so witty. So witty. Oh, stronger than me. Stronger than me. Stronger than me. Oh, of course. Also, by the way, I had to sing that song a million. I didn't say that I couldn't even remember the name. I had to sing that song a million times, because it was a montage in the movie. So I sang it in like a hundred different versions of where she was. And it was, I mean, I probably sang that song more than any other song in the film in terms of how many times I actually sang it, it was, that's what I mean. She's like, she could have been a sound up. That is a hilarious song. Yeah, it's a, yeah, it's like you, yeah, are you gay, like why am I taking care of you? I feel like all she wanted to do was be so loved and taking care of. She needs to be looked after, but at the same time, the pure force of personality. I mean, people would say things to me, like the thing about Amy was, if she decided she was not into you that day. Ooh, like it was the coldest place you could possibly be, like she was a savage in that way. Like when you were in her, when you were basking in her light, it was like the warmest, most beautiful place to be. If she was in a bad mood with you, it was like not fun. Like, baby, chill, so I was like, okay, this is powerful, very powerful. Oh, wow. I think one day I'll be able to watch it and be like, at least like proud of the person that did, like, was to film that for that, you know, it's, it's a hard one for me. But, you know, I, yeah, I'm glad it, now I'm glad I did it and I'm glad it exists, but. Was it tough in the moment when people, like, had opinions about it? It was, it was tough and it was tough because like, you know, I had to, at the end of the day, it was a film that was like about this one person and I was playing her. I had to promote it and the question that every, every journalist asked me was like, how are you dealing with the fact that like no one wants you to be doing this. And I'd be like, it's so recent, I'd be like, well, you know, it was, it's hard, but I think the film speaks for itself, and you have to just go, but it's like, why would you ask me that? What do you want to be like is, and there's also a part of me that was like, Amy, we'll tell you to fuck off if you ask that question. Am I not supposed to, because I felt like I've swear. Yes, oh my god, yes, but I have to sit here like an idiot and just be polite. And like, whatever, just like not along and, and it was, it's brutal. It's horrible. It's so, but so actually, yeah, even more than people them, because at the end of the day, something like Twitter or Instagram or whatever it exists until you delete the fucking app. And then it's not real anymore. Like, no, it's as real as you make it. So you can be that like, doom scrolling. I deleted Instagram. I didn't have Instagram for like nine months. Because the day the first day I was on set was in Soho and then I've had a taxi pictures and they went out. And it was like everyone's like, you know, and it freaks. I was like, it was so jarring, but I was just like, delete. And I've got to do my job at the end of the day. I can't not turn up to work tomorrow. So I have to turn up to work tomorrow and believe it and do it. How can I create an environment where I can do my job? So I just deleted the app and I didn't see it. So it wasn't real until people would tell me it was. And like, you know, it's always, it's always the people that are like, um, you know, yeah. You're like, okay, I'll never, I know you're not my friend. What do you mean? How are you doing? Yeah, they're like, oh my god, I couldn't do that. I couldn't do it. Yeah. Just so strong, I could not do it. I'm like, okay, you're saying I couldn't like do the job where like everyone hates, like do tell me that. Because you're being dumb. Yeah, exactly. I want you as my friend to lie to me right now and say, it's not even that. Like it's like, fuck that. Who cares? Like, there is everyone like, it's going to be amazed, but you know what I mean? Like, that's what you need in those moments. So, um, that was harder was like, when people, you know what I mean? But I is, I think, I think it taught me a lesson of like what it is. I want from my career. Like when I, when I take a job, why am I taking it? Like what kind of characters do I want to explore? And I need to be able to, when I'm doing promotion for something, back it, I need to be able to because otherwise it's a long, it's a long slot. This job, you know, you aren't just, it's not the three months that you're filming or the six months or the one month or the whatever. It's like, these things exist now and they're online and they're on Amazon or they're on whatever. People are going to be able to watch it forever. So you need to be able to back it. A thousand percent. But I remember you saying to me, and I mean, I don't know if it's too much, but remember you saying to me like, there's a community. Like online that you're like, you don't know whether they like people fully accept you and they mean the same thing. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I said this to you at the last night. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then oh my God. That week after was. Was it? Yes. Oh my God. I got destroyed because people thought I did a bad job on the carpet, which was whatever. But what I realized though at the end of it is that like, whilst I'm still breathing. Exactly. Exactly. And I'm like, and then what's the worst that could happen? What just happened? And I'm still doing it. And it's crazy because I always thought people I would always say I'm so scared to get in trouble. I always think about it like going to the like getting in trouble like with the like my audience or with people watching me. And then I was so petrified of it. So petrified of it. It's like consumed by entire being. It's still somewhat does. But then at the end of the week when I was still alive and breathing. And then I was like, oh. Yeah. I saw him by friends. Yeah. Of course. I saw my bed. That's it. Isn't it? Everyone's going to be ashamed of me. To like be around. Yeah. There's a panic that sets in the end of the day. That's must be a reason that we do this and like put ourselves in the firing line. All of it. Because you want to be validated. You want to be like, I love watching you. Yes. I mean, I love. I agree with you. I love. And so when you put yourself in the firing line and the exact opposite happens, you're like, oh, no, this feels bad. And of course it does like evolutionarily, even like think about it. You're being like cast out by the like, you know what I mean? People that you're begging to accept you. It is so jarring and it feels like fight or flight feels like panic. Yeah. But you have to. It's really hard to kind of separate your worth from that thing and be like, oh, I can still do my job. I can still carry on and I can still. It doesn't mean. But then what's hard is that you also have to not believe people when they say you're amazing. Yeah. Because you can't be like, oh, I don't agree when you say I do a horrible job. But when you say I do a great job, I believe you. You just have to have that like, intrinsic faith of like trudging forward, like no matter what noise good or bad and it's so easy to be taken by both. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I remember I had to do a recording that week in the height of like when everyone was really angry at me. And I remember I was like, oh my god, this I thought they were going to cancel like I thought all my recordings were going to cancel. Yeah, yeah, and then I would remember that and I walked in and I was like, well, I'm so surprised you guys are here like that. And they were like, girl, who cares? Because they were like also the other thing is that I think if you've got a good community around you, if you're within our industry, like if anything, when I see that happens to someone, my instinct is to be like, no, don't do that to them. You know what I mean, I don't that's so because it's so it's just so stupid, you know, it's like it's like this is at the end of the day it's it's not it's not life or death like it's not. There are real things in this world that are life and death. Right. And people don't give that the attention they give to passion. Oh, 100%. People are lying. It is like the craziest thing. Of course, situations of people can genuinely get away with murder, legitimate murder. And we're like, you know, my like wig is to the side and people are like never again. Yeah, it's. It's crazy. It's crazy. But even like also people it doesn't matter to anyone else as much as it matters to you. Like I didn't even, you know, I didn't see that. I had no idea that that that happened to you. Right. But to you, it feels like I'm going to want to work with me again. I remember saying that to my agents after after that, I was like people are going to be like, oh, poor girl. She was good in industry. It started to shame. We can never work with her again. You felt that. Wow. 100%. Yeah. But like I was like it was like it like you say it's like it's like you become like a virus. Yeah. You take on this virus of like hatred that other people are pouring onto you. You didn't do anything necessary to deserve it. But it's like once you're contaminated by it, everyone's like got a hazmat suit on and they're like. Peace. Peace. And that's why it's like that. That made me realize anything. It's like, oh my god. I'm so grateful. I have real friends. Yeah. Yeah. Because there are certain people that don't have friends. No. And their friends are all people in work. One hundred percent. And it's like, oh my god, I'm so grateful. I've best friends from college. And I was going to say, so do your friends not all work in the industry? Because you grew up in LA. They do now. But it's a very, my best friend who you just met Alice still works like normal job, works retail. Yeah. Like she really is a very grounding voice for me. When someone that you know wants the best for you, it's like, I love that person that you have in your life. You're like, oh, actually, that's probably good. I should definitely. Yeah. And she like, she gives me like the toughest toughest toughest love when I don't want to hear it. I do not want to hear it. Want to hear it she'll come like I'll be on cloud Nigel come grabbing me down like don't get like don't get it twisted. Yes, yes. You're this is a false sense of whatever that Week when that was all going down She was the one person that made me feel better more than anyone else and I thought she was gonna be the one that was like I don't even remember. I just remember hanging up the phone and feeling better. Oh It's all I remember is just hanging up the phone and being like oh my god Like I thought she was gonna be like you shouldn't have done that you shouldn't have done this. This was a mistake She like didn't do any of that she I hung up the phone and I felt like a weight was lifted I was like oh my god at least I have Alice. Yeah, yeah 100% I know exactly how that feels and I think that it's the friends that offer you tough Love though that in the moments where you Not when where you need you just need support can't also give it to you Yeah, it's the people that are being like your biggest cheerleaders on your up that are then like when you're down Like those are the moments where they're like they don't quite know how to handle the awkward thing of it being like It's slightly messy. Yeah, where it's like you know it is this correct. It's like it is messy It's messy. You need people to be able to be like It's whatever it's up. It's down. It's like you know, I Have my best friend is like is he's the same he's like that for me and I'm like He has been going through a bit of a tough time recently career-wise He's an actor too and he just had like the biggest win and and I With him for all of it and I'm like, but what's great is that like You know things have been going pretty well for me and it never it's tough when you have friends that are in the same industry as you It's hard to watch when you're not feeling great about your career at the moment And you have a friend who's like, you know on a press junky doing it that is it never gets in the way And that's but that's human to feel that way though I feel like people the most human thing ever and I people feel like these days Paint it very black and white and like villainized jealousy Yeah, and it's not really like this villainous. It's not feeling it's this very natural Yeah, and it all comes from insecurity. Of course it does. That's whatever. I felt jealous Yeah, because I'm like I don't know it that's lacking in me or in my life. It's not because I'm like I'm in amazing and I and you're you don't deserve why would anyone not deserve whatever, you know what I mean? I completely agree with you. Yeah Wow, I feel like my third eye was just opened. Do you do therapy? I do okay? I have a new I actually just got a new therapist for my OCD. She's been good. Wow But I don't like there's a god there are people just like some days You're like in it and then some days you're like counting down the seconds for it to be over. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, so funny though. I always find that like I don't find the time for it when I need it and when I do need when I don't need it I'm like I could do some therapy like I have time like I'm so stupid. I just have been Diagnosed with OCD. Oh really? Well because I never thought I had it because I don't give it I don't care about things being clean neither do I I thought it was about clean. It's not like Obviously, I'm like I'm not like Dirty whatever but like my room's a mess and like I'll come home from I'll come home from work like now. There's no way I'm getting home and I'm packing my suitcase the day I land That's not how my so I was always like, I don't have OCD I know people that like Place that's not who I am but obviously like obsessive compulsive Yeah, in other ways. Can I ask what made you what like how did you get diagnosed? I I was like I can't tell my brain off. I just can't tell my brain off. Yeah, and so I went being like It's just I key and I'm thinking the same things all the time and also I'm like always making lists and I'm always being like These are the tasks that I have them went and the end of the thing you know I have a lot of stress and I kept telling myself. Oh, I have so much stress in my life And I was creating this like kind of whirlwind of like These I just I just pick would I become obsessed with things and I can't Become unobsessed like intrusive thoughts. Yeah, that was and then you get scared of manifesting those thoughts that you're like It's like the most insane pattern Because I'm also like I really believe that words have power me - super believe in manifestation and like super believe in like I Think I've willed everything both good and bad into my life. Yeah, and that makes me scared But that's why OCD is so scary. It's so scary because you're like Uh-oh and you can't talk about it But you can't stop thinking about it. It's a thinking it and you're like Uh-oh, I'm thinking this thing and therefore it's gonna happen. Yeah And it's like having a big red button like and someone's like don't press it and then your brain is like press it, press it, press it, press it, yeah, and then I mean this is kind of dark, but I have cancer in 2020 and I convinced myself that I Thought it into existence and that was like I mean obviously that's crazy. I was it was 20 I was out, but in the moment in the moment I was like I remember when I got the diagnosis. I was like I knew it I literally like that crazy. You know what I mean instead of being like Right, I was like I knew it and it's like because Where as soon as as soon as I felt ill I was like I'm sick. I'm really sick. Oh, and then you felt like it was on you Yeah, and then I felt on me because I was like in another world if I'd have been like I'm probably fine Yeah, it wouldn't have been that. I mean, I know logically. I know that's insane But also who knows, you know what I mean? I obviously, but you know, it's just and what's hard I think about this industry in this life as you can be it's such a positive thing Feeling like you're operating on a really high vibrational frequency where people are like gravitating towards you And good things come to you and you are a person where things happen - that's good You don't want to be the person that like things aren't happening to But then I you can get in your head when you're like that's also works in a negative scale You know, it's it's it's such a tough industry to have OCD and it sounds like it's like magical thinking OCD is what they call it. Yeah, where it's like I've Created this and that's how I I used to that's how he like it's and that's up. Yeah, it's it's horrible It's horrible. I'm so sorry that yeah, but it's good good that people are talking about it now People are talking about it now, and it's an OCD isn't just like a thing like I think it's great that there will be a generation of people that grow up knowing that It's not just like oh wait. I didn't lock the front door. I mean that yeah, but you know, it's not just that It's like whatever because I had no idea well people used to not believe me in high school I would be like I have OCD and they'd be like but you're because I'm such a messy like right I'm a mess Massie-bassy-bassy-bassy-bassy-bassy person and people would be like You don't have that OCD is when things are neat, and that's and I'm like I don't think that that's what it is yeah Yeah, like it's like this obsessive Need to It's like control. It's all it's not your control thing And it's the it's like the idea that like you're in the passenger seat and your OCD is like in the front seat driving And you're like telling them where to go, but it's also like telling you you're so it's like the wildest I don't even know how to describe it yeah, yeah, that it that's the how to describe it Yeah, it's exactly like that and other people can't see the difference between like the And you and you're like Yeah, and it's like it's like okay, can you and the OCD's like can you grab this out of the glove department? Because I'll need that in order for this to make this turn and have this good thing to happen That's like how it like But it's you it's so hard to make it not real when your fear comes true That's exactly what it is. So then on when you're the good things come true. Yeah, you're like oh, I knew it I knew it. I told you. Yeah, and then everything bad that happens. You're like I knew it. Yeah. Oh my god It's insane. That's why I like I if you know like If you ever hear me be like if someone will be like oh my god, I'm so happy right now I'll never say like I'm so happy period because I'm scared that if I say I'm so happy period Then it'll like cause my OCD to like steer off and something bad will happen, right? Like I'm so scared of concrete things. Yeah, I'm so scared of like willing other things into existence. Yeah, yeah, yeah We've gotten in a while really. Yeah, I mean this feels like therapy for me Same but that's good. Yeah, I love I think it's so important, but then again, I'm also into anything that like Anything that's that it's like a good thing that isn't therapy as well. Like I love like I've gotten more into recently Like something like acupuncture for example. Oh, I'm obsessed with acupuncture. Yeah, obsessed. I dream about it. I do too How many times is too many times for acupuncture? I think you do it every day. I love it. I love it Because I also think that that's that I think that it's kind of the same thing. You're like, okay, take the wheel Yeah, yes, like it's not let's just do like and then I can immediately feel like Yeah, that's why I like fall for not fall for but like go for so many health trends or whatever Because I'm like, okay, great. Yeah, yeah something correct is happening. There's actually a shaman in LA that someone gave me the number of before I came out here and they were like they will just like do everything and I was like I just can't wait and I you go and he's so funny he's like clearly whatever I text him and I was like hey I'm coming to LA are you free and he was like taxi when you get here and if I'm around like I'll see you I was like no it's the most LA like no appointments no it's not real I'm having so much fun with you and all I can think about is like going out I know okay so living room as well you would living room is and it's fun you sit you sit outside smoke a cigarette you have a drink and you and you're just it's like children a little bit okay yeah RIP is it still burnt down yeah it's coming back but there the thing is I feel like when people thought children died like everything in London died I was like what they must not be doing London right oh no 100% yeah you have to like you have to know where to go yeah you have to like no also London is about like restaurants bars clubs like it's not in the same way as here where it's like you go over dinner and then if you're gonna go out like there is that one place that everyone goes to and everyone's gonna be right it's not and also the most fun people in London on at jolton right you know I mean they're like the when children's a great night when it's when industry like when it's like an industry week is in terms of like the BAFTA week or like the Grammys or whatever like during the BAFTA week it's amazing oh the best because like that's then when it's like oh because then it's like we're in LA yeah I mean like everyone's here and this is where everyone's going and like it's an industry London becomes an industry town for the first time ever whereas in 90% of time if you're in a pub like no one is no one works in my hour industry no one you know what I mean everyone's like so okay they might like watch who show and enjoy it but at the end of the day they don't think that you're what you're doing is any more important than what they're doing or that their wife is doing what it's not they're like okay whatever that's like the beauty I think of London like you're a culture yeah it's weird in America I feel like we like put celebrities on pedestals like like that is the basis of celebrity culture here yeah like the only thing that I think is different and I think this is global is musicians like like like whenever and in London is this like if some if if I mean happy to know I know Olivia Rodrigo like she's cuz she lives in London and she's like comes to a few but and like people are pretty chill about her but in a way that I'm like you're to me I'm like you're Olivia Rodrigo yeah right yeah but even me I'm like whenever I see pop stars I'm like yeah I love it it's a rush it's like oh my god I feel like a witnessing magic yeah are you a who do you listen to what type of music do you listen to oh my god I listen I really listen to everything I grew up listening to like rock and roll my mom like loves rock and roll so I grew up listening to like old school rock and roll but now I love pop honestly like I love pop music like I love listening to hits like I'm if I'm like a bit bored of my own thing that's going on I will listen to the charts and I'll be like and I just enjoy right that but like at the moment like I've been listening to Harry Styles new album I love that's been fun I love Olivia Dean love her she's having a real moment love Ray love Ariana Grande love are you love are you like that's our girl yeah amazing um yeah I but I really do just listen to anything yeah I'm kind of the same way I feel like I as long as I can find a good melody and like good storytelling yeah that's what I'll go for a storytelling is yeah I love a good story in a song okay so you love like Taylor Swift yeah okay yeah I just love the way she tells a story I just think it's like so fascinating and I love like a story that you can't really tell what the truth is and what's not like and we can't be friends like you don't know if that's about her ex husband or the public 100% and when you and when you can view the story multiple ways it feels like I'm an English class yes yeah I love like a I really love like a ballad for that reason because I feel like emotionally someone's like like one of my favorite songs of all time is oh my god are you about to say speechless no I wasn't oh okay Mary the night why am I blanking I'm planted in a met you and I yeah phenomenal because I'm like because I'm like I'm in that bar with you yes you can smell it smell it you can sense it something that I'm like it the story and it it's almost like a monologue in the sense that you're like you can feel what the character wants from the song which is like to I mean I don't know in that like to like sing to someone being like get over here right fucking now you know yeah have you heard and plots cover of that song now I never have heard amazing oh I've heard his cover of diapypsy which is also oh yeah yeah you and I and he like does this crazy riff at the end and I'm like is it online yeah okay I'm gonna listen to yeah well speaking of music the soundtrack to industry is fucking phenomenal so good it is really so I think that the the needle drop thing of like at the end of an episode and like bomb and they do some create a beef is doing it the moment as well like yeah Phineas is the composer for beef so that's why it's all yeah yeah I didn't know that yeah that's so cool he's like he has a real career in like composing television shows really done a bunch yeah he's really really good at it yeah because he can view music very cinematically yeah like as a story and it's she's very good at it but music is okay are you ready to tell me what's wrong yes these are the pussies submit what's wrong in their life and we tell them how to fix it or try to how do you get over the fear of going on a bad date like genuinely I went on a coffee date for the first time in 16 months and it was genuinely hard but I I can't sober date I can't I'm sorry I can't I I have to have a drink in me yeah else I'll be too like so I got it we kept talking over each other his breath smelled ill we have literally nothing in common at least he picked me up and paid for me but I'm not taking this easy it might be another 16 months for me I hate dating also a bad day is is hard to come back from I went on one once in was a dinner date and I remember the guy was like so nervous and I just remember being like fuck this yeah and I you just have to be like I'm out it's the whole thing is also just like pick me like why are we both putting ourselves in the situation where we're like just kind of I don't know it's I mean it is so hard and humbling and like such an intense experience I would say I would say like a good way of getting over like dating jitters is to like go out with single friends not friends in a relationship with single friends who like also want to meet people so that you you can maybe meet people a bit I.R.L. before the day yeah because like yeah I'm like meeting on a dating up and then meeting up of course that's like the most intense version of the thing yeah it's awkward it's not like natural to the human experience no it's so awkward it's just dating sucks like dating is never easy do you speak on the phone to people you haven't met in person no but I I I've done it before and it actually is somewhat helpful to speak on the phone to hear their voice yeah to like it is somewhat helpful it's like the equivalent of like meeting at a bar and like taking their number and being like yeah that's going on date 100% yeah I think that's good though like speaking on the if you're just meeting someone call for the first time maybe just like a little cool like it's so awkward it feels like networking date dating feels like dating and networking and all of it has so that's why like going out and like Manny who's sitting out there once was like I read that like if you read a book in a public setting people come up to you by the way it's it works it works it does work because people are like oh this person is like from an like an older time so they don't like necessarily need me to like DM them like they this person wouldn't mind like an ancient way of speaking which is me coming up to you I once was reading a book at a coffee shop and someone came up to me and when I was like are you enjoying a man here I was like are you enjoying that book and I was like yeah and he was like I wrote that book shut up I was like what and he gave me his number and whatever he left I googled the author not him wow not him and I was like in my mind I was like do I respect it or is it kind of like psycho it's a mix of it and I decided it was like a bit too psycho for me it that is crazy it was like a bit narcissistic too and also not crazy to be like at some point being like I'm joking it was just it excuse to get your number and then like left and then what when was he gonna tell me that it was it wasn't him weird how did you meet your husband you went to drama school together we were in the same year at school and how did you have what was your first date well this is a thing like obviously we were friends for a while So he hit on me day one though. Uh huh. He hit on me day one. I had a boyfriend at the time and when he heard that he was like, "Oh, boring," and I was like, "Ah, okay." You're wedding. And then is her Roman Empire. Really? Yeah. Why so? I love that. The hair. Oh yeah. You know, you know it was amazing. It did look good. It was the best day of my life. And like all the photos and a small interview, how you said the thing about the champagne in the beginning. Yeah. It just looked so chic and fun. Oh, thank you. It was so fun. Planning it was so fun. Didn't go crazy. It really, we both enjoyed the process. Didn't make it about anyone else. It was just about like us. Oh, I can't recommend getting married enough. It's so fucking fun. We also felt so like obviously I don't know you, but it felt so you guys and like you enjoy it. Yeah, it wasn't like came across. And then what did people do? It was like, what do I want to do? Also, I'm obsessed with I love a party. Like I love. I love a party. So I was like, oh, if I'm going to throw a party, it's going to be fun. Like I want the party to be fun. Like I was like the very end before we all went down to like dance. I was like, I was like, and then I want everyone to have a tequila shot. So everyone had like a little bottle of 1942 shot. Like at the end of like all the speeches. I was like, I just want people to get wasted. When everyone was like, is it, is it like, is it just wine at dinner? I was like, fuck no. Like people wanted to keep like drink. But you know, you've got to be specific about like where you're spending the money. When I really we were smart. Like it wasn't crazy. And people spend such an inordinate amount on weddings now. Of course, you know, whatever. I was like, the things that didn't matter to me. I was like, fuck whatever. I just want everyone to have the best time ever. And I really think they did. Money doesn't buy a good time. It can. Of course, it can. If people know like how to have a good time. Then there's like no ceiling on how much money. But like you can have a good time anywhere. I works. Do you need like display? Like whatever. Like no one remembers that shit. They remember if they were dancing till 5 a.m. 6 a.m. Whatever. Like my heart. I was a bridesmaid. Mickey and Conor were with there. Harry was there. Kit was there. Everyone came. Connor. It was so fun. And we had sprint advance. This was like something that I was one of the things I was held then on was like. We were going from one place to another. One of my least favorite things at weddings is like when you've got a travel and there's like a traffic jam or something or like you're. Oh, and it kills the bar completely. Everyone's on like a huge coach. So like you've got a. It's just a bit hot. And like what? No, I was like I want sprint advance. I want people to like I wanted to feel like the president is coming. Yeah. And I want like I want to I may play lists for the way there and the way back that I timed on the way out. So I on my phone was like what do I want people to listen to like as they're coming up the driveway and seeing the house of the first time. What do I want? So what do I want people to listen to when they're going to the party? Like I want them to work a good party planner. Oh, yeah, I was like in another life like I would that's what I would do. Yeah, I'd be like planning what because I've never heard something describe that way. That's pretty brilliant. Yeah. By the way, I am what I am was my wedding song. Was it really like your first dance or your first dance? I was choreographed. Oh, I mean we choreographed ourselves because Jamie's does musical theater. And I was like Jamie sang I am what I am at a pride cabaret at Rada when we were at schools together. And that was the moment I was like I love this man. Oh, it was the fact that someone wanted to sing a song about like self-expression and freedom and joy and happiness. I was like yeah, bitch. That's my man. Even though it's like a gay anthem. That's my beautiful. Oh, well congratulations on a beautiful wedding. That is Louise's Roman Empire. It's my favorite thing by the way, when people come up to me on the street and they're like it's not like I love you ask me and I love industry. If they're like I see your wedding and you're it's like on it. I'm like what's your phone number? Yeah, the heroes are Roman Empire. Thank you. I'm a serial Instagram stalker of exes, friends, randos, etc. Sometimes I zoom out and realize how fucking weird this is. But I'm addicted LOL. This is probably so bad for my mental health. What do I do? I think delete Instagram. Yeah, yeah, delete Instagram for a bit. Come off. Scrolling is like doing scrolling is hellish. Watch a TV show. Find something that you because like you like those like obsessive thoughts of another person's life. You can place those thoughts elsewhere. Yeah, you can place them into characters of a television show. Oh, thank you. It's like we that's what that was created for in the first place, film and television as like release from the everyday as like fantasy and you know we can put entertainment and we've like turn that into like just scrolling on people's Instagrams and it's so not as interesting or creative or what the whole like hundreds of years of the movie industry has been sort of made for. Watch housewives. By the way, I know. Yeah, I know. Are you watching Rhode Island? I started it because you said really? Yeah, but I like her now. I listen, I love it all. But the thing is is that I have to you obviously have to invest for a second. It's always hard. It's always hard. I'm slowly drifting away from my family with each passing year. It's hard because I lived abroad for three years now and communicating with them on a regular basis is so hard. We never expected this because I was only supposed to go for a year in college and now just live here. It's expensive to travel back and forth. So what do we do? For 15 from families the worst and it's hard. My my my husband lives it is from is America and he lives he's from New York and when you when you have someone's always going to have to make the choice to be further away from their family, I don't know. I don't know what it's like. We obviously travel is expensive that's a thing going back and forth like it takes a commitment but maybe find somewhere to meet in the middle sometimes that feels like less like if it's a long trip feels less like the thing about like drifting away from family especially is like I feel like maybe this person feels like I've drifted so far that it's awkward. I don't want to face the awkwardness of the first 10 minutes of whatever interaction we have next and it's really just like ripping off a band aid you have to just do it and like acknowledge that it's been weird. Acknowledging it is like God and like give yourself grace. I feel like like that's the thing I've learned about family and everything is like my mom was like once like you're only human like you know what I mean like you need to give yourself grace for like not. Like there's no rule family has no rules and blood has no rules and like you need to give yourself grace. Like maybe being distant and not like you just like more grace is required. Yeah, it's not like linear line. People don't necessarily like also your if your family are like hurting that you're a bit further away that's coming from a place of love too. Yeah, so it's like it's just getting back to that place where it's not so awkward but it's tough. It's really tough family's hard. Well, Marisa, what did we learn today? I learned that I feel like we are super similar. Yeah, and that we need a night out. Yeah, ASAP. Yeah. And that if you are not watching industry, sit down and watch industry. Watch the show guys. It's good. At the end of the day. It's actively good. You can't say it's bad. It's a good show. And it gets better too. It's wine. It's a fine wine. Yeah. Our week on the show. Like we're getting, we're just getting better with age, babe. Well, Marisa, thank you for coming on therapy. Thank you so much. I love you. This was so fun. It was really fun. [MUSIC PLAYING]