284: Serving Justice ft. Monet X Change

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Yes. You know how to. operate that bad boy yes you know we have a really interesting connection what so you were the star on hulu's dragstravaganza yeah yeah halloween halloween halloween dragstravaganza halloween so my husband did all the music for that oh like the scoring and i think i went to your house to record then what's your house i don't know if you went um there was a couple different like artists that did songs but he did like all the scoring like kind of sound effects stuff and then the american slasher song was his oh dope and you were on that um but you were incredible in that that was back in 2022 i know it feels like it was so long ago but i guess four years is not it really was not that long we know we're hoping we're gonna get a it'll be an annual i would love that thing but you know hulu had other plans maybe they'll bring it back maybe thanks to this hulu where you at you know we've got some drag starvaganza fans yeah that'll be dope no it was such a fun project it was great i love that show yeah but i'm just i'm so impressed because i feel like what can't you do uh at this point eggs properly what is your go-to scrambled well no i like an omelet because scramble i never get it right and my my grandmother used to make eggs and she used to put like a little milk in them and i was like and it was like the perfect egg yeah i just i don't have it fluffy and i just don't have what it takes then i get i get sucked into all these tick tocks with people making japanese eggs oh the japanese eggs are like a whole it's like a whole thing that's new for me i'm on i'm on egg talk currently i'd like to get over there destroy this it's fine i don't know my own strength it's we're all full of chaos here like my main goal is just to like provide chaos so you leave the room feeling better about your life okay good okay good yeah okay because you're on tour right now i went to right now high heels bad knees around the united states i did a bunch of dates in the spring winter now we're doing some in the fall summer going to australia going to down under down under yeah it's kathan kim i'm doing that and um yeah it's it's all really great i really love doing stand-up stand-up is my thing i enjoy it it's so liberating just being yourself on stage um saying having the audience in the palm of your hand for your next bit your next joke your next joke i love it your crowd work is incredible thank you like absolutely incredible i'm just like oh and you get such juicy juicy little stories you never know what you never know what's what what's weird stories are lurking out there no it's really good but for those that aren't familiar with our icon over here today we are joined by monet exchange drag race winner miss congeniality um you i'm just like you're classic opera trained dj yeah again you're very well-rounded and i think you're going to have a lot of fun with that you've just gone through a lot of experiences in life like i watched your chelsea handler episode like the mushrooms and then i watched your z-way and you went through like a big foot surgery and i'm like it's called ffs foot feminization surgery but you like you cut tendons oh yeah they cut tendons i didn't know the tends were going to be cut until i was in the moment and you're awake for that surgery no no no so you hear the tendons cut i don't know if everyone has had anyone listening has ever cut a tendon before up it's very crunchy it's very crunchy it's very crunchy it's very they're like cartilage you just hit her it was it was intense it was intense that's not going to top anything i have today so shit um but i think you'll you'll knock these stories out of the park so the theme i've got is kind of like strict program okay strict program yeah these people are kind of on strict programs or maybe they need to be on a stricter one that's what you're saying that's what you're saying it's kind of like this new slang thing i've watched a lot of love island i'm watching a lot of love island uk or us okay i went back and watched season seven retroactively okay have you ever seen season seven season seven america no wait was that one with maya papaya yes yes i watched that with um huda yeah the crash out of the century yeah but it's like crazy that like when it came to i just watched a reunion two nights ago and i guess in real time she had the most following she was like so beloved by the fan base and i was like she was a nut job in the in the villa how did she do that people loved her people did you watch it in real time i did okay yeah people did you love her i was confused a little um i thought she was fine just you know maybe shouldn't have been working through things very publicly on love island yeah but this season of uk so good is it okay so i gotta watch uk what do you watch it um i've been watching it on disney plus okay i work yeah yeah it's gonna be good but okay let's see what you think of these ones okay i know let me say something i love reddit but i'm on like gory reddit it's like like like a lot of like fights you and bob both oh yeah i love fights on reddit but i don't go like he likes like the knockout yeah like i'm not when it gets that far i i move on he shared a subreddit with me that i was like i never want to be back there yeah no no i don't that's too far i like it when it's just a nice little schoolyard fight okay like a little bar fight between two macho bros like hey look at my girlfriend man you look at my girlfriend yeah apologize man apologize a little punch a little one two yeah when it gets like then you're out yeah i'm out okay yeah no that's good for us all to know okay good okay let's dive in okay okay so up first okay i have three rapid fire stories that are just gonna really ease us into it make sure you're prepared for everything else i have okay so up first for us here we have a coming from am i the asshole titled am i the asshole for saying no to a bedroom brat oh a bedroom brat so does this mean something sexual some you like saying no because you wanted some like little like little bedroom bunny that wants to be taken care of yeah that's what i'm getting okay so i'm eight made a brat it's supposed to be brought for a nighttime snack at 9 30 p.m like a bratwurst uh-huh oh my god okay he brought it up to our room where i'm currently laying trying to get comfy which is hard so i'm a little more cranky than usual the smell was way too much for me so i told him to take it downstairs he was mad and said he was tired and just wanted to eat in bed with his delicious bedroom brat oh my god i'm exhausted from working all day and then switching to mom mode for our two kiddos under four i don't want to smell meat all night long and want as peaceful a bedroom as possible am i the asshole for making him eat his food elsewhere aside from our bedroom no you're not the asshole first of all you are carrying this man you are eight months pregnant you gotta pop any moon you think about delivering the babies out you know what i mean and i you know i shocker i've never been pregnant no i've never i never have okay not for lack of trying um and if i was not pregnant and i've heard that like senses are so heightened like things smell crazy things look so like i can imagine you're uncomfortable you have this alien growing inside of you literally sucking up all the nutrients out of your body i know you can't get comfortable and the last thing you want to do is smell a kielbasa bratwurst in your bedroom no what kind of bun too because a pretzel bun those kind of stink oh my god you just say eat it downstairs no eat it downstairs come on i'm a bed eater too like i'm a bed eater too i love a bed snack i do too i do too i i don't think you're doing it when your partner is eight months pregnant no you know what i mean i'm like chill downstairs with the bratwurst kielbasa have it downstairs and also it's done in 45 seconds when you come back upstairs brush your teeth because i don't want to smell it on your breath linger and try to try to pillow talk to me and i'm smelling your your sausage not the good sausage you know what i mean yeah well that's what the comments get into right yeah so the comments are like not the asshole also this was not the story i was expecting from the title yeah and someone says there's only one kind of sausage i want in bed and it's not grilled it's not grilled no there's another one here raised my kink expectations for nothing oh raise my kink exercise well i think that you know you know what what is giving like you you know you match with someone and you're like you know it's been a date or two if you're uh you know if you're a regular decent human if you're if you're for something it's been an hour or two and you think you're gonna have an experience and then the moment comes and it is nothing like what you expected you built up all this expectation for a bad experience i know there's another comment here from someone they go his delicious bedroom brought is how she ended up in her condition to begin with the comments they're good the comments always eat people the comments are so funny they're so funny they're so funny i love it yeah you okay next one for us here this is coming from r slash traumatize them back a subreddit where people kind of tell these like almost petty revenge stories traumatize them back okay today a lady told me off for not seeing she needed help so i took out my prosthetic eye honestly work i would oh you think you got me i got you bitch it's like it's like that scene from hercules the oracle is passing the eyes so the story goes on to say i was waiting to pick up a prescription a day when i heard some shuffling beside me for context i'm blind on my left side i lost vision in my left eye from glaucoma and eventually had the eye removed so unless something is directly in my line of sight i genuinely might not see it when i finally turned around i saw an older lady struggling to pick something up so i offered to help her she snapped at me and said not to bother because if i actually wanted to help i would have been more proactive i told her i was sorry but i'm legally blind and i would have helped sooner had i seen her she then hit me with people nowadays want to self-diagnose everything to avoid responsibility so i had it i took out my prosthetic eye held it up and told her you can diagnose it yourself if you're so uncertain yes not a word from her after that good honestly you know i gotta be honest the whole thing of respecting your elders i'm like i don't care who your respect is always earned and if i i have a disability and i am going out of my way to help you and i'm met with a vitriol of venom and vilocity no vilocity okay and i'm like yeah like that reaction is so crazy like why would you jump to the negative when i was trying to help you and i was like i'm not going to help sorry it wasn't yes you still got offered help yeah i mean people watch me struggle in the store and i don't get any help exactly daily yeah that's crazy daily no what a crazy reaction i know i'm honestly it was justified what you did yeah it sounds like some east coast behavior this was definitely like boston or new york or something all people over there are mad they definitely are you're also god you're pulling out big words like i watched um scott evans episode and i'm like and you pulled out another word with him and it was like like beluga or it was like and he's just like okay i'm gonna need a dictionary i'm like that's kind of you're giving you're giving smart okay let's get in to the thick of it now that was just our warm-up here that was the warm-up that was our warm-up yeah it's gonna be fine okay it's gonna be absolutely fine okay you got this okay this is coming from r slash relationship it is titled my boyfriend of three years refused to pull over while driving pissed himself and then kind of blamed me for it okay as someone who has a very weak bladder i drink a lot of water i know a thing or two about emergency pee situations okay that's why i'm driving to the city driving into the city with a friend from new jersey to manhattan and we were on we were on the turnpike and i had to pee so bad so like i'm like i'm like i'm like i don't want to have to pee like i have to pee he's like what are you gonna do i was like so i was like so i found the nearest exit and but it was like rush hour so the line was like so long so like on the turnpike exit like six rows of cars were like 17 back from the thing i just get out the car and like leave the car running and like run all the way to the to like the shoulder to just pee on the shoulder i just had to in the middle of traffic it was like insane i had to go though so it might be this person's fault okay let's see let's see what you think yeah my boyfriend 27 male and i 28 female have been dating for three years we were driving down the back roads for an hour and near the beginning of our journey he said he needed to piss i asked him at least four or five times if he wanted to pull over since he was driving and he refused we were almost home with a gas station in sight he said he couldn't make it any longer and pissed his pants it was a very awkward ride to the city i didn't mention it and i helped him clean it up while he showered and put on some fresh shorts he then tried to leave my house to return his own after he got out i asked why and he said that it was because of him peeing itself and it happened because i was mad at him over something that he had said before we left from our destination not really relevant to the problem he said he wanted to go home to discuss it and that he didn't want to pull over so he could get out of the car and out of the car quicker i didn't really understand his explanation in this but i haven't pushed reddit i have a hard time dealing with this on one hand i know bodily functions sometimes cannot be controlled but he was in full control of the car and himself and refused to pull over then he kind of shifted the blame to me i've had a hard time looking at him the same way i mean he is a grown man why is he pissing himself i feel terrible for feeling this way but he never acted and harassed or anything just kind of got defensive i asked him if this has ever happened before and he insisted that it hasn't am i overreacting to what happened i feel like i might be i feel like there's overreacting happening on both sides number one i think that he is ridiculous for being mad at her like you are a grown man you are in control of your body like you i think he was probably trying to be like no no i can hold it i don't need to pull over like i can hold it so there's that there and i also think that she is taking it a little too personal too like i think you know sometimes guys try to be so macho you got to like kind of call him out and be like like and it's i hate that sometimes women have to do this for men but kind of help him sort through his emotions because he's clearly projecting his feeling of insecurity and upset that he pissed himself in front of her i mean i'd be very embarrassed insecure well you know i i pissed myself on drag race yes girl let me tell you not in the highlight clips and i watched an hour and a half of them what no it's a secret it was on the pound deal episode my first time i was in the bottom when i did my the pounding alarm lip sync and i had to be so bad and the judging that you see on tv like it's like what 10 minutes in real life for about two hours oh my god so i was sitting there and i was the first one to get critiqued i had to be so bad i was like oh i had to be i had to be i was like i can hold i can hold it they got to like the fourth girl and i was like which is like an hour and a half and i was like i can't hold it so like in the middle of a room critiquing whatever girl i was like hey i'm sorry everyone like all the cameras all production i was like i really have to go to the bathroom and then i turn upstairs upstage and start walking up the stage and just start peeing myself in my costume on stage i'm leaving a snail trail of urine up the stage i go to the bathroom change my tights come back and when i walk back on stage rufus stands up and gives me a standing ovation but i did so i know my god so you can really relate to him in a way yes i can really relate so there's a lot of emotions you're like you're mad at yourself but each other pass the with someone else so i think she's like hey babe i know this was upsetting for you yeah i know that you you don't want to pitch yourself in front of me but we've been together for four years i've seen you do words get over that is true they have been together quite some time i mean like come on if you can't piss in front of your in front of your partner how can you business for anyone else you know i know that is very true yeah i was like a guy that tried to like get me to piss on him and that's a situation that's a big thing it was a lot yeah and i was like i feel like you should advertise this before i show up yeah i shouldn't be met with this request yeah no golden showers should definitely be right in advance notice yeah dude there's like a crazy thing going on with golden showers lately like did you this is so there's a crazy thing going on with golden showers no there really is like have you ever heard of bonnie blue no who's bonnie blue you don't want to know no now i have to know you don't want to know she is an only fans creator she might have been kicked off the platform even but she did this challenge to like have sex with a thousand guys i heard about that one well she's now pregnant and she's having who it is well she's having a baby shower where everyone just come and piss on her while she's pregnant feels like cps should be called already yeah preemptively like oh god yeah does she know who the dad is i don't know i'm not in her lore that that much i just see the horror from people on news yeah news shows being like bonnie blue is doing a baby shower baby shower is diabolical that's insane behavior bad so then when you look at this you're like this isn't that bad not that bad the top comment you're not overreacting he pissed himself instead of pulling over for a minute he was fully in control of his body and his car the entire time his actions are a result of his own decisions and have nothing to do with you i'd have trouble respecting him ever again after hearing him blame me for his decision to piss his pants it's like a toddler yelling look what you made me do literally and that is that is something that's so interesting about this he was the one driving the car i know so why not just pull over yeah because i was like also if you don't pull over like what are you even like showing like are you like how does that make you look or feel more my i don't it seems like a weird thing to like you were driving the bus babe pull over that's why i'm like why are you and to blame her i pissed myself because we got in a fight before we left and we had an hour drive and i was just trying to get home so i wanted to piss in my toilet in my toilet only like what so you piss yourself you piss yourself is crazy i like i'm just like for what it is not it's not worth anything yeah silly no someone else in the comments shares another story from reddit about someone's boyfriend shitting himself while driving shitting yeah so up that auntie it's a big big deal i guess but i wouldn't say overreacting but i guess how do you want to proceed forward do you want to coddle him a little i wouldn't call him i'm not into coddling anything no i'm not even children okay no one deserves to be coddled so not even kids not even kids yeah i would i would have to call him out i'll be like this because also i think that this behavior will be indicative of things later to come yeah if this is how you behaving over something that you were in control of that you did to yourself what is the next thing going to be i know that's a really good point because like you've already gone so far as to piss yourself to prove a point to me yeah what comes next you're gonna piss on me to prove the point come in my heel like hello what's going on yeah no op does respond and says to that person though like him acting like a toddler is what it felt like i was like why did you do that and he was like because you were mad at me i was so confused because i don't see how the two correlate oh i don't see either i don't like it no and then op even says i'm having a really hard time feeling sexually attracted to him since all of this okay i can talk to this when you when guys when your partner starts doing things not even sexually or like you it could be the prettiest buffest whatever your thing is and your partner is hot things like that turn me off so bad and i get so unattracted i don't even want to think the thought of having sex with you repulses me because i hate other behavior that you do how do you get over an ick do you have any advice for that because this could be kind of an and that seems like that's what you're kind of describing yeah and i can't i can't when the ick is there it's there i can't get over it but i am also a pisces so i'm a i am a when um february 19th oh march 4th march 4th like look at us but i so i am a suffering silencer like i will be have the ick and i was suffering i would just like go along with it go along until it's too much it's too much i just like all right pop off and then you're like done you get done for sure yeah we do get an update on this okay the update comes almost 20 days later so she comes back and she's like here's how it went down okay i'm ready for it if you can't see the original post try googling it that thread blew up way more than i thought it would i had originally posted it before six months ago when the incident originally happened and i didn't get any response so i truly thought i was underreacting and kind of swallowed my concerns but over time they kept up and i started noticing more and more that everything was my fault in his life so i decided to repost again this post really affirmed what i knew but didn't want to accept for whatever reason that the relationship had to end the thread made me think a lot about my life and what our life together would look like all i could think about was this him pissing himself happening again in the future i thought about us having kids and how he would deal with them i thought about having to go through tough life events like losing a parent i realized that i would always be blamed for things that went wrong even though they were not my fault or within my control and that he wasn't someone i could truly rely on for support yeah it just took him to literally and purposefully lose control of his own bladder for me to see this i broke up with him a few days after the original post i told him i wasn't happy with the relationship anymore and that i wanted out he didn't really fight or ask why so it was a surprisingly easy breakup he had other issues in his life and refuses in general the idea of therapy so i didn't even suggest it got the red flags not really my problem or concern anymore despite being together three years i was surprised with how relieved i felt when i let go pun intended i think i mourned the relationship for a day or two and i've been totally fine since almost every day at lunch and have had plans every night with friends or family so i really haven't let the loss of this relationship get me down i guess if anything it's really opened my eyes to trusting my gut and my instincts i knew him pissing himself was fucked up and i knew and felt like he was blaming me i should have trusted my gut and ended it right there and then when he showed me who he truly was let me tell y'all something right now the gut is the most powerful organ in the body okay the gut tells you everything you need to know about so many situations i wish that i would trust my gut more but you always there's always that that that stupid thing in the back of your head it's like well no but the gut is always right every time i waited too long to be able to break up after the breakup when i got through it i was like why didn't i do that so much so much sooner like why did i wait this long yeah he was giving red flags from everything was gonna be your fault if you can make pissing somewhere put that on the person everything when you put it like that it's yeah like when you're driving the car you're in control of 80 100 of the things but it's somehow my fault it's insane it's insane so is this next one oh god this episode is brought to you by nintendo everyone's version of me time is a little different that's why the nintendo switch 2 system is so fun with exclusive and nintendo switch compatible games like mario kart world animal cross new horizons nintendo switch 2 edition tomba dachi life live in the dream or yoshi in the mysterious book there's something for every vibe and with upgraded hardware play at home or on the go whenever the mood hits learn more at nintendo.com slash nintendo switch 2 games and systems sold separately some nintendo switch games may not be supported or fully compatible with nintendo switch 2 games rated e for everyone okay so this next one is coming from r slash gay bros titled i compared my boyfriend to an ex a year and a half ago and he's still upset how can we move forward how can i make it up to him me 25 male and my boyfriend 25 male have been together for just over two years they're gay i can't do it a year and seven months ago on our first valentine's day we were having sex he was bottoming but he was struggling i am his first boyfriend and only sexual partner he is my third boyfriend and fourth sexual partner i have a history of ed when he was struggling i went soft and became embarrassed in a moment of self-doubt i said quote it was a lot easier with my ex why would your brain even think about saying that i immediately regretted it and apologized and he said don't ever say that again it wasn't even true i struggled with all of my exes i just felt that in that moment i felt so low that i projected it on him i told him this admittedly it was to hurt him which i told him too i apologized profusely and he said it's okay and we moved on over the last year and seven months he has randomly brought it up as something that hurt him each time i'd apologize and reassured him and we'd move on but about three weeks ago he brought it up again and this time when i apologized he started to cry and said that he should have broken up with me back when it happened that i ruined his first ever valentine's day that he thinks about the comparison multiple times a week and every time we have sex he said he's now considering breaking up i told him it's not fair to me to threaten this now he said three weeks ago he would work on the relationship and go to therapy but he still brings up breaking up as a possibility to be clear i have never repeated the comparison or anything like it and he agrees that i have grown he himself has said that the is much better than who i was two years ago he has said that he knows i didn't deserve him two years ago but the person i am now deserves him i think part of it is that early on i made him feel inferior for not having a boyfriend before me i'd bring up how glad i was to have dated other people so i could have a history how glad i was to have many sexual partners and i told him that i specifically went after him because he had less experience than me again i'm his first almost i want to make this up to him but he doesn't know how i don't either any advice i know no one can read his mind but any guidance would help oh you know what when you were a gaby You're so sensitive and knowing that you're bottoming and it's not going right. Because bottoming, there's, oh my God, there's so many bells, hooks, levers, and tugs to get it right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because there's, especially if you don't like, you don't have the proper person or things online to teach you like what to do. Because there's so many things that can go wrong. Overdouching, like other things that really make it difficult. So I get it being insecure and saying. So the person that said my boyfriend did it better was the bottom or the top? So my boyfriend was bottoming, right? He was bottoming, but I was struggling. Oh, he was struggling. So I said to him, it was a lot easier with my ex. And he was the one who's experienced the top of the experience. Oh, so it wasn't even the bottom, it was the top. So tops are so bold these days. Like that? Yeah, that's fucked. Like you have someone being really vulnerable. Sorry, that's messed up. You can swear as much as you want here, babe. You're good. Like that's crazy. No, like, and it's, would you call him a gaybie? Yeah, gaybie. Gaybaby? Gaybaby, gaybaby. I've never heard that before. Yeah, I'm a gaybaby. Oh my God. It's like, this is, you're supposed to, I feel like, be the more comforting teacher. Yes, yeah. Also, the bottom is the one doing all the work. You just, you know, getting up, getting back there and, you know. The bottom is, has sometimes years of preparation. Like I said before, you have to sit on a toilet bowl and make sure the water runs clear for God knows how long. And the bottom is working. So to weaponize your sexual experience because of your insecurity is crazy. And then so, and now the bottom is like, it's been haunting him, this thing. Yeah, a year and seven months it's stuck with him. Okay, well, baby, you got to pray it away or something. I mean, a year and a half, Jesus Christ. He didn't say your whole family should die in a fire. He said, my boyfriend did a little better. I mean, I get your feelings about her. But holding on to that for a year and a half. Yeah, I will say, doing the math here, that was said to him about three months after starting dating. Okay, so early in the relationship. Yeah. So for me, I understand being hurt still. I hold a grudge. Same. I hold a mean grudge. I forgive, I never forget. Same. Yeah. And I tend to go a little scorched earth when I feel wronged. So for me, I'm like, I get it. But you need to ask yourself. Do you want to feel like this forever? Because it also, it kind of eats at you. 100%. So do you want to feel like this? Option one. I don't know. I don't think so. Two, can you go to therapy and resolve it? Three, otherwise start fresh. Start fresh. Start fresh. Yeah, break up and like move over, move on. Yeah. Yeah. And if there's going to be a thing forever, like you don't want to be carrying that baggage throughout the entire tenure of your relationship. If you end up getting engaged where like you'll never, it'll never go away. It would always be a thing that he said to you that you won't forget. So it's like, honestly, cut the cord and move on. There's so many dudes out here. Well, do you find this to be a little bit of a red flag to the part where OP was like, I was so glad that I dated other people so I could have a history. I was so glad to have so many sexual partners. I told him that I specifically went after him because he had less experience than me. Like, do you find that to be kind of. It's a little problematic. I'm like, what is the vibe that you want to create that you like, why does your partner need to have less experience than you? It feels like a power imbalance. Yeah, for sure. Like, I want to be more superior than you. More superior, yeah. I'm better than you. I'm all about having partners so you have experience and like, you know, the more times you've, you know, you've ridden a bike, the better you'll be at it so you get it. But the specifically wanted someone that has less experience than you, like you want to be able to like. Take advantage. Take advantage of them or train them to be your little perfect bottom for you that I don't like. Mm-hmm. I think that he is, he wants someone with less experience so he can always seem like he know what he's doing. He's like, I have the experience here and the bottom having less experience can't call him out and be like, well, that was not good. No. And that does kind of play into him kind of struggling with ED and if there's more control, maybe it's less noticeable. Like, you don't have experience. You don't know any better. You don't know any different. Yeah. So, no, this isn't that big of a deal. Yeah. Like, and hey, people struggle with ED. They do. It happens. But you shouldn't belittle someone else to bring yourself up. I agree. And there's so many, there's so many fixes to ED. You know, the gays now, they do Trimax. Have you heard about Trimax? No. Girl. Girls with ED out there, they, they, they, there's like a syringe and you like inject, um, uh, what's the thing with Viagra into like your penis? Oh, you're going direct, not oral, like not popping the pill. It's like straight into the penis, syringe, inject. I've heard about penis pumps. I feel like that's really common for older adults. Yeah. But then like your penis becomes like almost like amorphous. I've wanted to see one. This sounds so weird, purely for educational purposes. I just want to see one. Cause I heard you pump it up by squeezing the balls. Yes. I'm like, I just want to like, no, not, not, no, not your, not the balls, your body. Like the pump has a ball on it. Everyone was telling me, yeah, you squeeze the balls. And I'm like, how do they insert that? See, this is why I'm so glad you came on. Education at its finest. No, it's a ball, like a, like a ball that's like, you know, you know, you know what it's like. So how does it hook back up? Because it's like, basically like a vacuum that goes on the penis and then like suction to the penis. And you know, like, um, like the old French perfumes, like the ball, you squirt like that. Yeah. So it's like a, a little tube with a, with like a ball like that attached to it and you squeeze the ball and it pumps. Isn't there a surgery though, where you can get it inserted internally? Okay. So an ex's, someone I used to deal with. Yeah. Someone in their family had this. I think that's what I'm talking about. And I thought that when you literally squeezed the balls in it, it does pump. What he had was like, it was just like a, like a, like a button inside. So basically like he became like Bane from, from, from Batman. And you just like, where do they put the button? It's like in the ball area. Okay. Yeah. So like he, that was like Bane, he was like, and then, and it was like ready to go. That's so crazy. Modern technology. Girl, crazy. This is wild. No. See, again, I would like to see that. Purely for educational purposes. Same. Same. I've never seen it. I would like to see it too. I just, I'm curious. I'm curious girl. He was also older. I'm like, I am 36 and I barely want to have sex now. I'm like, when I'm in my late sixties, I don't want, I guess when you're ready to go is then you don't have to think about just, okay. I feel like, I don't know, sex feels like it gets more fun after like 50. That's what I've heard. I'm excited to get there. Like I'm in the 30 slump. Same. Like 32. Same. I'm kind of in a roommate phase. I feel like it's hard when you're so busy and it's like, you got to like almost schedule it. Right. Also being adulting is so annoying. You're constantly, you have to do every, like the, the, the lie that was sold to us that we wanted to be adults and get mature and be old. It's such, it's the biggest scam in history. Like when you were a kid, you want nothing more than to be an adult and be independent. Now I'm an adult and independent. I want to, I wish I could go back. I don't have to pay for my bills. I don't have to put gas in my car. I want someone to do it for me. No. It's too much. The big lie. It's exhausting. It's exhausting. It's so bad. I found another story and I haven't read it with you yet, but it kind of plays into adulting. So maybe I'll hit it next, but we don't want to have an update on this one. OP kind of responds to people in the comments because some people do pick apart that I went for him because he's less experienced and they basically just call him a psycho. Like word for word. They're like, what kind of psycho would say something like that to their partner? Because the obviously hurtful comment, this is the bigger red flag. In my opinion, you basically belittled your boyfriend from the beginning and act surprised. That he brings up your comment because you probably completely crushed his self-esteem. OP does respond. This was two years ago and I no longer say or act that way. I have grown through this relationship and my boyfriend agrees that I have too. So they're still together. As far as we know. Yeah. And what was, how long ago was that? This post is from 2022. Oh wow. So recent, pretty recent. So technology has gotten even better. So for the, for the ED. Four years. Four years. Maybe they've come a long way since then. Yeah. Maybe they're still together, having a good time. Um, I don't see any other posts on OP's account. Oh, the one and done. One and done. But I will say this post is from about Reddit saying three years, but it's from 2022. So whatever the math is there, but the account is nine years old and a verified email. Oh. So I'm going to send him a little chat. Ooh. Cause it'll go to his email. Yeah. If he's got that notification on. Yeah. And I'll be like, do you have an update for us? And he better give it to us now. You still together. I'm typing. They are active in a bunch of subreddits. My producer Bailey's telling me r slash balls. The pumping balls. Apparently. Maybe, maybe they looked into it. Yeah. Or like otherwise like bouncy balls. I don't know. R slash Christianity. Oh, of course. R slash celebrity penis. See, this is what I'm going to write. You can see what everyone, you can see what I'm going to write. Yeah. Yeah. You can see what everyone, you can see all the groups, all the subreddits they're a part of. Yeah. Oh. You know. God. That's why you need a throwaway account. Not traced back to you. Okay. Let's get into this little adulting one because your tour is really about like adulting. I heard your knees crack. Yeah. You know, my knees just don't. Before I used to be able to be on them for so long and now I used to have knees like Megan. Now I have knees like, you know, my grandmother. Martha Stewart. Martha Stewart. Martha probably has some good knees though. She's always in the garden, you know? Oh, she is gardening. She's got horses. She's got pheasants for her birthday. Did she really? know that i'm a big fucking martha fan i love her i don't know what it is i just my goal is like just i just want to go to a martha stewart dinner party she doesn't even have to talk to me just let me be in the room that's like me and rupaul i want to go to one of rupaul's game nights oh yeah that's a good like bucket list you won you haven't gotten invited yet girl rupaul is not hanging out with these girls first of all drag queen steel can you imagine a dragon at his house they would steal you think they're thieves they're all dangerous and should not be allowed near regular human beings i wouldn't expect that group to be kleptos girl they're unsafe i don't invite any queens in my house i'll go on instagram see someone using my fucking spatula oh my god anything anything's fair game yeah okay this next one's coming from true off my chest sometimes i feel like my life is just a series of awkward goodbyes and overcooked pasta i'm a 44 year old guy and lately it just feels like adulthood is pretending to be fine with stuff that quietly drives you nuts my neighbor's dog barks like it's trying out for a horror movie my hairline's retreating like it's got its own escape plan and every quick nap spirals into a full existential crisis yesterday i dropped a plate apologized to it out loud and only later remembered that it's not a person i also ended up reading through a bunch of old texts from 2017 like i was on an emotional archaeological dig i'm not even that lonely just surrounded by way too much silence and overthinking try to act like i've got it all together but honestly i'd love it if someone just told me it's totally fine to cry into a styrofoam box of lo mein once in a while anyways thanks for letting me toss this out there if anyone has ever caught themselves apologizing to an object or nearly sent a hey just thinking about you text at 2 a.m and blacked out you're not alone you're not alone i'm definitely someone of those texts i sent one last night no i sure did what was good is one of those i sent it but i didn't really want to do anything because if it became anything i'm like oh god to that to that bottom early i gotta go to the bathroom it's just too much work you know i wish you know yeah so we've all been there yeah you know we've all been there we can only be so perfect you know yeah like so much of the time oh that sounds fun and then when i said i was like why did i do that because if i get a response i am i'm gonna just go to bed did you unsend? or do you sit with it no i submitted well here's part of the problem the text message was green because they don't oh i know that'll get you i know it's always the guys with green text messages and a mattress on the floor that gives you right you know what i mean no no bed frame no that's a big part of adulting i feel like that is this episode is brought to you by state farm so this podcast is all about choices wild messy weight you did what choices but for the choices 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lot of great things to do in chrysler pacifica chrysler.com to learn more and schedule a test drive today chrysler is a registered trademark of sca us llc this episode is brought to you by billy i don't know about you guys but i get a little lazy in the winter i'm in hibernation mode and i grow out my leg hair a little bit but it's getting warmer and now i'm excited for that first shave of the season and if you are then you got to get the billy razor in your life it's designed for how women actually shave legs pits toes happy trail wherever prickles it has five sharp blades and a pivoting head so you can actually get everywhere without doing shower gymnastics and it comes with a magnetic holder so your razor stays dry on the wall instead of sitting in a shower puddle grab a billy razor in your favorite color in store or at mybilly.com a defining moment in adulthood is like when you go from mattress on the floor and you get rid of the navy blue sheets and you get a bed frame and maybe some curtains curtains would be nice curtains would be nice curtains would be nice curtains would be nice yeah yeah yeah okay well i mean everyone's entitled to a little fun every now and again i hope you get a response yeah i will i think you know who you are hey okay off to this next one this one might need a little bit of love and prayer maybe some tender kid gloves okay as we address it okay okay okay i know you know a thing or two about a sponge i do so i was combing through reddit and i'm like oh my god i'm going to get a sponge let me find a good sponge story and i came across this one and the title just blew me out of the water oh god what is it so it is coming from r slash off my chest titled hopelessly attracted to spongebob squarepants like ariana grande's ex-boyfriend i'm not sure how to put this but i'm in love with spongebob it's not only that but i'm sexually attracted to spongebob as well oh the only person that knows is my very best friend but he thinks i'm joking about it i've talked to strangers on the internet before but i've only really met ridicule outside of a handful of people i fully believe this is affecting my ability to have a meaningful relationship with a real person too i'm not sure how i identify either i know i'm a 21 year old male but i don't know if i'm attracted to other males females or any of the other things people identify themselves as but i think if i could get past my unhealthy desire for a cartoon character i could at least figure it out my friend jokes that i'm sponge sexual and i go along with it because i think he'd stop being friends with me if he knew it was actually a real attraction it's not just watching spongebob either i read and write fan fiction i look at rule 34 art and i have so much spongebob stuff it clutters my rim i'm so ashamed but at the same time i do try to embrace who i am but every time i do i end up feeling more ashamed and repeat the vicious cycle all over again i know in the grand scheme of things this isn't really that big of a deal and people have way worse issues than i do but i need to tell someone and really work on getting my head on straight the past few days this has just eaten away at me to an unhealthy level i find myself crying unable to sleep and i don't feel like eating my parents think i'm depressed maybe i am they want to help but i think they'd disown me if they knew the truth they know i'm a spongebob fan and it doesn't faze them at all since they say there are far worse things i could be into sorry for the rambling i just don't know what to do anymore and i had to tell someone anyone how i was feeling i thought about making a throwaway account since my post history would be cringy to the average person but i figured why bother attracted to sponge i don't know what it is about spongebob that is so attractive like is it the the the corner edges is it the multiple holes the multiple holes so i will say this is a big a big big kink of the sponges so i a sponges but more specifically spongebob yeah and i was like monet knows sponge monet knows bob i feel like i'm like you know you'll you'll be good on this i mean you know to each again knocking shaming whatever your thing is but there's just nothing about spongebob that's sexually appealing or attractive the voice i can't even do it like imagine that when you're like someone's climaxing it's very jarring awful the dolphin noise the dolphin oh my god okay i don't even want to attempt i could i could get i could get into squidward squidward got that nose on him you know sandy a lot of people have into sandy the squirrel to sandy um but this is a big thing i mean i then started going deep diving looking at other accounts other subs there's a post from two months ago from off my chest spongebob squarepants turns me on one day i was watching spongebob and boom all over the ceiling like scary movie two style yeah there's another post from ask me anything that's actually coming from a woman i'm 28 female in love with spongebob since i was eight and going to therapy for that reason ask me going to therapy yeah like this is like multiple people are deeply affected by spongebob oh my god can you feel it now mr crabs haha i knew someone would do that have you tried banging a guy in a spongebob costume oh okay there's a thing i know you mean but it wouldn't be the same for me the person says op i don't want a guy in a spongebob suit i want spongebob i want spongebob it's not a fetish i'm deeply in love with him i'm trying to think is there any there's no character that i'm like that i mean maybe maybe what about the grinch i've had that fetish before no i'm like here i spent i i'm full i'm like a dolphin i'm like full body laser hair moving that's what i want i think too i could do a little chest hair a little chest hair is cute but the grinch is too much grinch is too - Someone's walking with a hairball. - Spirit the horse is a big sexual awakening for a lot of us. The horse is a good one. I like that. Shrek is on a lot of people's hear-me-out cakes. Not for me. What about Handsome Shrek? I've never seen Handsome Shrek. You've never seen Handsome Shrek? No. How handsome is he? I mean, he looked pretty good. Chiseled, very chiseled jaw. All that jazz. Handsome Shrek. Here's some pics of Handsome Shrek. Oh, when he gets, got it. No, I don't like that either. Okay. I will show you what the Rule 34 art is. Rule 34. Yeah, so OP was like, I've, unless you don't want to see it, it is. No, I want to see it. And just to be clear, Rule 34 is an internet meme and cultural adage stating that if something exists, there is pornography of it. Oh, yes, I agree with that. Okay. For sure. So I looked up Rule 34 art Spongebob and. Oh, God. I cannot show. I cannot show it on the video version of this show. It would instantly get us demonetized. Oh, my God. I mean, they do Sandy, Squidward, Patrick and Spongebob. Oh, wow. Squidward, Patrick and Spongebob having a good time in that little tiki house. Sandy. Sandy is a really. I think a lot of people are into Sandy. Also the whale girl. I love her too. Pearl. Pearl. Pearl. Yeah, they really did Pearl up. Wow. Yeah. Spongebob and Spongebob. Spongebob and Squidward. It exists. If something exists, there is pornography of it. For sure. Seeing all that, are you kind of like. No. No. I don't think it does it for me still. I'm still a teen Squidward. Spongebob is too. Also, I'm not into short kings. Okay. Okay. Yeah. You got to be at least six foot two to get on this ride, you know? Oh. Although I was reading this. Someone read this statistic to me. Apparently, like, less than 8% of the male population is taller than 6'4". 8%? Less than 8%. I can see it. Which I feel like I meet a lot of tall, like, really tall guys, but. Yeah. It does feel like a, I think we're getting shorter, though. I think I've heard that. Yeah. Where humans right now are getting shorter. I wish I was shorter. I'm too tall. I think you just need to go to, like, Scandinavian or Nordic countries. And get, like, the, have you seen guys getting the knee surgery to be taller? Dude, that's insane. It's insane. Not worth it. Not worth it at all. Do not do that to yourself. Guys who do anything but go to therapy. Like, I need to be taller. No. Like, so you're not into it. But what advice would you give this person? I would tell them, you know, life is too short, baby girl. If Spongebob is what is doing it for you, make you have a good day, make you live your life, baby, you'll flick your beans to Spongebob as much as you want to. Also, AI is, well, not AI, but there are things that you can do, I'm sure, that you can have a very realistic Spongebob experience using computer technology. There you go. VR headset. VR headset. Yeah. Slap that Oculus on. Get Spongebob in there. Y'all can have intimate night. I bet, honestly, I bet it exists. And, you know, there's a lot of people in life that are just looking for, like, a platonic, almost like a, I don't know, like a lavender marriage kind of vibe. Lavender marriage. Like, you can be with Spongebob, but then have that person for partnership and camaraderie. Yeah. And then maybe they're into something else. Like, this is bringing me back. I read a story a while ago where this guy was in love with a roach woman, and it was this roach character. Turned woman named Ogtha. And he was in love with her and ended up marrying her. No. That's what made him happy. Like IRL? Yeah. Ogtha. Oh, God. What are you doing? So, I mean, there's ways, if you're, you know, out there, there's ways to be happy. I guess, but at what cost? Imagine inviting a family to your marriage to this roach. No. No. I'm not a big fan of roaches. Same. I don't think anyone is a fan of roaches. Well, not sure. Clearly, someone is. Someone. Yeah. Ogtha's husband. I'm from New York City. I don't want to see no fucking roach. No. I have a hard time. Like, I know we have a lot of rat lovers in the Two Outtakes community, too. I had one, like, almost jump out of a tree at me last night. So, like, that freaks me out. I would die. I literally, I just, I went to go, like, grab one of my horse's toys, and, like, coming down the tree was a big rat. And, like, I just. No. Lost it. At that point, throw me away, skin me alive, boil my skin, clean it off, and then put it back on my body. I know. I can't deal with rodents. Do you have any pets? I have a hairless cat, Colleen. You really don't like the hair. No, I don't like the hair. You're like, no hair on my cat, either. And I've also, I got an allergy test a few months ago. Okay. A few years ago, sorry. And I found out I'm allergic to, number one, horses. You can't come to my house. Number two, rats and mice. I'm allergic to those. Okay. And then number three are dogs for cats. It's, like, all animal dandruff, basically. I know, yeah. So I can't fuck with that. Have you ever pet a giraffe? I've never pet a giraffe. You'd probably be allergic to them, too. Because they're in the same, they're, like, in the horse family. Yeah, they have them at the L.A. Zoo. You can feed them for, like, five bucks. Yeah, probably have a really bad reaction. And so I got the test done, and I was like, oh, whatever. It's a little, like, test, whatever. And then I was doing this. I was doing this. I was doing this. I was shooting a pilot for this show. And one of the shots they had is we drove out to Temecula, and they want us to ride horses in wine country in Temecula. So I was like, like, is anyone allergic to horses? No. I was like, no. I'm on the horse. Oh, no. And I feel my face, like, getting a little itchy. I feel like, I'm like, oh, my God, why am I supposed to be itchy? Oh, no, it's, like, serious for you. It's happening. And then Trinity the Tuck is also in this, and she was ahead of me. She turned around to ask me a question, and then she goes, oh, my God. I was like. I was like, what? I was like a hitch. Have you ever seen a movie, Hitch, with Will Smith? Do you have a picture? Did you take a picture of this? No, I didn't. But, like, my eyes are so red. My face is swollen up. They had to run and get me an EpiPen. Yeah, I was going to say, that's, like, anaphylactic. Yeah, I was having, like, the only reaction. I was like, I just thought it was a little. I thought I would sneeze. Not that I would, like. Like, blow up like that. Yeah, like, blow up, yeah. That is really intense. That's why I got a hairless cat, because I was like. But what they don't tell you is that. You have to oil them. It's not the hair that you're allergic to. It's their saliva. It's the enzyme in their saliva that makes you allergic. So that's why hairless are better, because they don't have hair. They're not really grooming themselves. But it's not the fur. It's the hair. I mean, it's the saliva. No, that makes total sense. But I got it. I was like, oh, my God. I got this hairless cat. I'm going to be good. The first three months of my cat were awful. I was constantly thinking. But then my body just got accustomed to it. So now I'm like. Did you get the shots? The allergy shots? No. Because I know a lot of people. A lot of people do that. Yeah, I know. But I heard those are not always effective. I'm like, whatever. That is intense. Yeah. Your cat is so lucky. She's a little sweet girl. Yeah, because a lot of people would have given up. Like, three months is. I know. Every story you tell me, I'm like, you are such a trooper. I am a trooper. I suffer in silence. I suffer. I will suffer in silence a lot. You are like so. I'll just go with it. Wow. But to my own detriment sometimes. It's silly. Yeah. What's a big word that I'm trying to think of? It's like. You persevere. You persevere. Oh, I like that. I'm a persevere bra. You're fluid, adaptable. I am adaptable. There's another big word I'm looking for. You probably know it. I'm anaphylactic. No, that's allergic. No, but it's just like you really are able to roll with the punches and just like be a bigger, better person because of it. Well, I don't know about being a better person. Definitely a bigger person. Not a better person. You get really good energy. Oh, I appreciate that. You do. I try to be a positive light in the world. Yeah. I feel like you only would probably sabotage Bob. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. Often. Okay. This next one for us. Have you ever been told you have too much boob? So in drag, I had these like foam boob inserts and to give myself a nipple, which Kim Kardashian copied off of me. Oh. I would put a tight on it and I would tie like a cut the tight and I would tie like a knot in the thing. So it looks like a nipple. So I had these like very like fierce big nipples in drag. And then cut to who made a nipple bra about three years ago. Oh. Oh, Kimberly. I think it's because of me. I bet it was. Yeah, I think so. But so that's to say, yes, I have told them my boobs are too much. Okay. Well, this person was also told their boobs were too much. Ooh. This is coming from r slash. Am I overreacting? Am I overreacting for being upset when my brother-in-law told my husband that I had too much boob? So I, 22 female, have never been particularly close with my brother-in-law, 30 male, or his wife. But my husband is. He's 23 male. They've lived together for around seven years, actually. He feels indebted to them as they rescued him from a difficult household situation involving other family members and substance abuse, which I understand. However, I get the sense that they never really approved of me. They are religious and traditional and I dress alternative and dye my hair. In fact, one of the first things brother-in-law ever said to my husband when we first started dating was, quote, You like that hair? It was pink at the time. I tolerate most of it, but recently my brother-in-law had my husband meet him at a restaurant for a talk. Uh-oh. Brother-in-law told him that he and his wife had had a discussion and decided that I have too much boob. His exact wording to husband. And they don't like the way I dress, nor do they want me around their eight-year-old daughter if I dress like that because they don't want her to think that's okay. When husband came home and told me about this, I was so embarrassed, I started sobbing. Husband got annoyed with me because he can't- understand where they're coming from god and thinks it wasn't unreasonable to say brother-in-law also told him that they were upset that i didn't seem to want to come around very often and so you think so i told my husband that stuff like this is exactly why i don't feel comfortable around them and he got angry and then left the room i have triple d's i can't exactly help the amount of boob i have because no matter what i wear they will always be there i don't want to start wearing turtlenecks or a binder every time i have to see them and i've never dressed inappropriately around them on purpose ever i added some pictures of my outfits for reference am i overreacting for being upset both at brother-in-law for saying that and at my husband for taking their side i've seen brother-in-law and his wife in person since then and they always act super nice to my face i never mentioned the way i was when i was a kid and i've never mentioned the way i dress or anything which makes me feel even weirder that they forced my husband to say that to me and then act like it never happened i almost would have preferred they just say it to my face just being around them gives me so much anxiety now i feel like they're judging everything i do am i overreacting can we see the pictures you sure can i want to see so this is picture one okay yeah that is so modest you could literally wear that to church literally it is like a longer cardigan black sweater a little lacy dress some flat but the booze are covered the dress goes down below her below her knees i think yeah below the knees it's almost like um mid-calf yeah mid-calf a midi yeah okay that's picture number one picture number two girl there's nothing wrong with this outfit either tank top looking like spaghetti strap dress sweater tied around not at all their issues are not about your boobs girl they they're using that as like the mask to really to to convince their brother to not be with you because they have other issues it's not about your boobs also i'm so sick and tired of people trying to police women's bodies and like so because first of all we all have breasts men women have breasts why can i'm at the beach i'm like let women walk around with whatever like why can dudes have their pecs out but women can have their their pecs out i know so i think that they're masking it as some fake reason they're trying to cause your boobs the pictures you sent not unless you're sending us this and you walk around you out there in like a slingshot bikini you know what i mean even then no this is cutesy yeah this cutesy is great they're using that as an excuse they're masking some other thing and this is a red flag for the family and sister-in-law how did shame on you well and then bring the daughter in it too they don't want me around their eight-year-old daughter because if i dress like that they don't want her to think it's okay that's crazy that's insane that's insane also are you keeping your kid at the house all the time like i've seen worse at walmart i know i've seen people basically naked at walmart yeah it's such it's nonsense they're they're there's another issue here that they're trying that they're projecting and they're using the boob thing as a as an excuse they definitely are and honestly this would be my little line in the sand with my husband you either get on my team and you start backing me up or you're gonna go move back in with your brother and his wife because we're done yeah and y'all over turtlenecks around the house like who are you who are you married to whose back should you have yeah that's when when like partners don't have each other's back like that i'm like what are we doing here we're you're supposed to be you're my a spoon you're my ride or die you should be defending me tooth and nail not setting someone else you know what i mean what was that first one you said a spoon a spoon i don't know what that is it's just like like besties like we're like we're in it together we're like i like anything with a spoon i like spooning like that okay okay are you big spoon or a little spoon i like to go back and forth you know if i'm on the couch i like to be the big spoon because i don't want to feel like i'm falling off but otherwise little yeah i like to i like to be a little spoon and i'm a big man so it takes a big i need i need a fucking ladle this is why you need to go to like even like uh denmark i know they're tall and hot over there girl the they are built they are people of stature did you some erling hollander i don't know you're gonna lose your mind really yeah okay i gotta go over there then yeah it's time yeah i need i need big stock add it for a stop on your tour but overall i'd say not overreacting not overreacting at all i think you are so justified and again i think you have a brother-in-law problem but maybe more importantly or a bigger problem is your husband actually 100 percent because he also chose to be the one to tell her that yeah you which i do like being in the know i want to know all the tea i want to know all the information yeah for sure but the words that came out of his mouth i understand where they're coming from i hate that get out of here i hate that go sleep on the couch maybe actually go to go get a hotel get out get out of my face i don't want to Comment right now that's at the top. I've got it sorted by best comments. You're not overreacting and your husband is completely spineless. I love the word spineless, actually. It's a great insult. I love when people on Reddit, like in the comments, they're like, girl, grow a spine. And then they'll come back and update and be like, I have a new shiny spine. And like, because they get it. It's like, have a little backbone for yourself. Grow a spine. Someone says in response to that, she's underreacting. His brother shitting on her should never have even been made to her ears, let alone become a problem that she needs to attend to. The husband never should have agreed to entertain a conversation that shits on his wife with brother-in-law in the first place or parroted any of that evil shit to her. I love when it gets fights in the comments. Yes. They're like invested too. Like you can tell this happens to this person. This happens to this person. This is a personal experience that they're reliving again. Yeah. No, they're very triggered. Yeah. I'm triggered. I've got triple Ds. Like borderline, like the triple Ds don't even contain them anymore. That's why we're buttoned up. You know, got to be appropriate. But like it's just it's one of those things that like I've got some pictures I took in Cannes and I'm like scared to post them because I just like because the tits are out. Good. Let them out, girl. Let the things stop. They are. Let them roam. They are just out. That's not it's not typically something I would post. Like, I don't know. I just like I hate, you know, as she said, like no matter what you wear as a as a person with bigger boobs, like it's just there. It's front and center. And so like I spoke on some panels and I was like buttoned up during the day. But then at night, like, you know, we're out. Out. Yes, girl. That is so hot and so fierce. Yeah. So that's how it is. Is it a dress? That's a dress. That's girl. You look great. I'll get there. I'll get there. I'll get there. I'm going to post them. OK. I'll send them to you. I will post. I'll post the picture soon. But she's not overreacting. No. And you got to get that hubby in check. Yeah. Talk to him like I feel unsupported. I feel like, you know, you should have my back in this. This is my body. I feel uncomfortable. Like, I feel it up. Yeah. Because people can't. That's just how you feel. Yeah. They can't twist. And I feel. 100%. Yeah. And please update us. This is only six hours old right now. Oh, God. So this is really new, new. Fresh. OK. Got it. Fresh, fresh, fresh. But OK. We're moving on to this next one. And now popping in with Lauren here. For a weight WTF brought to you by Chrysler. The newly designed Chrysler Pacifica has its own kind of WTF moments. Like, wow. They fit with seating up to eight. And, whoa, that folds. Thanks to stow and go seating and storage. And you can watch them finally with the fam cam. And we're talking furniture. Thanks to all that cargo space. Hey. Speaking of furniture. This is a doozy. OK. This couch caused chaos. Chaos for this. Oh, no. For this OP. Did it mess up the car? Messed up her life. So this is coming from r slash am I wrong. Am I wrong for being furious that my husband skipped my promotion dinner to help his sister move a couch? I, 28 female, have been married to my husband, Mark, 30 male, for two years. Last night was a huge milestone for me. I finally got promoted to a senior manager role at my firm after working 80 hour weeks for months. My company hosted a gorgeous day. We had a gorgeous dinner at a high end restaurant to celebrate and spouses were invited. Mark promised he would be there. I was sitting at the table with my boss and the regional director waiting for him to arrive. Ten minutes before the dinner. Oh, no. Mark texted me saying that his sister, Chloe, 25 female, needed him immediately. It turns out that Chloe bought a used couch on Facebook Marketplace and needed Mark to drive his truck over right then and there to help her pick it up. No. Because the seller couldn't wait. Then fire someone. Don't piss me off. I told Mark, absolutely not. Chloe has a boyfriend that owns a van and they could have easily rented a moving truck for $20. It gets worse. I told him this dinner was incredibly important for my career. Mark ignored my texts and went to help her anyways. I don't know. I'm done. Relationship over. He missed the entire dinner. Yep, it's over. When he finally got home, he brought me a single half-dead flower from the grocery store and told me to stop overreacting. Spare me. He said, family comes first. And Chloe couldn't afford to lose the couch. I told him he is a terrible partner and I slept in the guest room. Now he's calling me selfish. No. And materialistic. No. Am I wrong? For being so angry? No. This is, this is divorce worthy. What am I? What am I? I'm your wife. Yeah. Am I not family? Wow. This is a promotion dinner, a huge milestone for my career after working 80-hour weeks for months. Yeah. No. And Chloe just happened to need you to move that couch at that exact point in time? No chance. This is a WTF. If I'm not wrong. If I've ever, I've ever had one. Like, what is going on? I don't care if people say, Lauren, you're not married. You don't understand. You don't just divorce that easily. This is disrespectful. Don't care. It's a divorce. Divorce. Divorce. Yes. It's so beyond disrespectful. The doubling down on everything. It's just like, I can't imagine feeling less seen, less heard, less appreciated in a relationship than me pouring my heart and soul into something in order to advance our lives. Yeah. All our lives. And then to the one moment. The one moment. Just one. That's paid for, too. I'm not even asking you to pick up the bill. A gorgeous high-end restaurant. Yeah. Don't you want to try the food? Also, all the spouses are invited. Yeah. And the one who they're celebrating is the only one who's not there. I think he did it on purpose. I think he's threatened by your success. Thank you. I don't think he wants you to be better than him or more successful than him or make more than him. I actually don't think he likes that. You've got this promotion. And this is his way of, like, taking away from that big celebratory moment and sabotaging you. This is a deliberate sabotage. Mm-hmm. I agree. The couch could have sat on the curb for two hours. She bought that couch, didn't want to use the vehicles available. Guess what? Sit on the couch outside and wait. You want to buy this couch today, right now? Yep. Sit on the curb with it. It'll be there with you, parked in it. I know. I'm going to go to dinner, and I'll help you after. I, I, that's exactly what I was going to say next, too. Not everyone, of course, but I think, like, collectively, like, we're just not there yet where it's just, like, equally as excited for each other. I don't think he's equally excited. No. Because the top comment does agree. Not the asshole. Maybe he's jealous of you. For sure. OP responds, honestly, sometimes I genuinely wonder if that is the real reason. So she's feeling it. I think it's a combo. She's feeling it. I think that he probably. got so excited when he had a excuse come up. I don't think he's that malicious that he plotted it to be like, let me be busy on this exact time. Maybe. But like, I feel like it might just have been like, oh, great. This makes me so happy. Now I can avoid feeling like a less successful partner in this relationship. Yeah. No. A lot of people are questioning if the couch thing is even real. Like someone's like the couch thing is a weak excuse. And I can't believe you took it at face value. He clearly didn't want to come, didn't plan to come and would have come up with an excuse not to come and blamed you for his mistreatment of you no matter what. And I will say like her boyfriend had a van. Yeah. Do you know, like my mom used to have a Chrysler Pacifica and let me tell you, I stuffed that van full, full. That was my little high school van. I put all me and my little friends in there and we go to hockey games. Like you can fit a couch in a van. Why didn't her boyfriend just do it? Mm hmm. Like. He he. Oh, yeah. Oh, calm down. Calm down. Like he just didn't want to be there. No. And then the flower, the one little flower. Hold on. What was it? A single half dead flower from the grocery store. You couldn't even get a dozen. No. A single half dead. So it was probably 50 percent off. It was probably free. It was probably the broken stem that they were giving away for free. No. Keep it. Exactly. It's go put it in the compost bin. I don't even want it. No, I'd be like, go. If you really care, go and find a time machine to go back in time and show up at my dinner. I was going to say, like, just some dandelions and pick them. I like I would rather you at least show me some freaking effort. Yeah. Brutal. Yeah. He did not. He did not prioritize her. And it's actually insane that he said that. Yeah. He did not. He said the line family comes first. I know. Are you ready to put your family first? This episode is brought to you by Revolve. My summer has been jam packed with moments where I just want to look cute. And the best way to do it is to find a good fit, an outfit that makes you feel confident, that feels on trend or reflects your unique style. And Revolve is my go to place to find those fits. I just went to Europe and basically every single one of my outfits was a good fit. And I just went to Europe and basically every single one of my outfits was from Revolve. And I've never, never been complimented more. 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Schedule your first visit in days, not months. Go to takayatry.com slash hot takes to get matched in minutes. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y dot com slash hot takes. Takayatry.com slash hot takes. Actually, and drive into the future with confidence. Check out the newly designed Chrysler Pacifica. Visit Chrysler.com to learn more. Chrysler is a registered trademark of S-C-A-U-S-L-L-C. And if someone needs to borrow your car to move, let them borrow it. Don't miss out on the big moments. Bam. Bam, baby. Thank you, Chrysler. Do you feel like there's hairdresser etiquette? You know, for me, when I go to the hairdresser. No, I don't. I've not had a haircut or a hair anything. DIY. DIY. I do myself. Yeah. How do you see the back? Do you just feel around? No, I just I put my back to the mirror and I hold up my phone and I use the camera on my phone like that way. It's so good. Thank you. And you got eyebrows right now. Yeah. I started growing them again. They're so good. The shape is flawless. Okay. Well, this person is questioning some hairdresser etiquette and if her husband is being wrong. If it's your husband, probably, yeah. This is coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit titled, Am I the asshole for thinking my husband should stop going to our hairdresser after she fired me as a client? How deep does the loyalty go? My husband, 63 male, and I, 60 female, have gone to the same hairdresser for years. Him for about 30 years. Me for about 25 years. She owns her own shop, is excellent at what she does, and stays very busy. In the 25 years, that I've been her client, I've been a no call, no show three times, including this time. I know that's bad and I'm not making excuses. The last time it happened, about two years ago, I paid for both the missed appointment and my next haircut. For the last three weeks, my husband and I have been essentially keeping vigil with my mother-in-law, whom I adored and is passing. We ended up burying her on Monday. During that time, I completely forgot about a Saturday haircut appointment. About a week later, I realized I had missed it. I called her three times to apologize, pay for the missed appointment, and reschedule. But she never returned. my calls. Yesterday, my husband stopped by to reschedule one of his appointments. He asked about me, and she told him, quote, this isn't the first time she's done this, and I'm not interested in having her as a customer. I understand she has every right to stop seeing me as a client. What bothers me is that after 25 years, she wouldn't even return my call and tell me herself. I'm not going to beg someone to take my money, but I'm hurt and honestly pretty annoyed. Here's where I might be wrong. I think my husband should stop going to her too. He said he would think about it, but now I'm irritated with him as well. What do I do? You know, sometimes, I do know this, for all my friends who do have hair and go to hairdressers, sometimes when you find the right hairdresser barber, you're like, it's like, you've like, you struggle. This person gets me, they get the hairline perfectly, they do, it's like, it's such a, such a delicate relationship. Yeah. And to chuck that away because my wife can no longer go to the same place. I don't know. I don't know. Like the, the loyalist in me is like, no, you know, we're thick as these. We, we, we, we ride a dawn, we're in this together. But the practical side of me is like, the pragmatic side is like, I mean, I'm not, I'm not sucking them off. I'm just getting a haircut, bro. Like, you know. That's true. We're just, it's just a little, just a little scissors and a little trim and a shave. I mean, there's a lot of like little things you can be loyal to. A lot of people are loyal to their nail girl. Nail tacks, yes. Nail tacks, have a big draw, lash. But like, if I'd been seeing someone 25 years, and the reason they cut me off was because I was taking care of my dying mother-in-law, my, my husband's mom. And you're, babe, you're gonna go keep seeing this woman? This woman is a witch. Yeah. Also, I did the math. 25 years, 365 days a year, 9,125 days. Out of those 9,125 days, she no-called, no-showed three times and paid for those missed appointments, as well as the haircut. So, you still got paid. Yeah. And I, I don't know. Don't let me, don't let me sway you. No, listen, I like, I like working it out. I think where I'm gonna land is, you know, this is my, my hairstyles, but this is my partner. We're married. We're in this. So, I'm sure I can find another. It'll be a little annoying, a little inconvenient, but there are other hairstyles out there. So, your team hubby should find a new one with you. Yeah, I think so. That's where I would fall. Yeah, I think so. Like, this woman kind of disrespected me, and I get she's entitled to that. That is so her right. She's gonna run her business how she wants, and fair, right? Yeah. But the reason I missed it was a family emergency, and, like, she's disrespecting me. Yeah. And so, I would want my partner to stand by my side. I've been mad over, like, less serious things, and I'm still, like, you have my back, right? Yeah. Like, I'm trying to think of one. But it's, like, it's just nice to feel supported. Yeah, for sure. You want to be supported, and it's not, you can find another, another hairstylist. Yeah. So, the top comment on this one, actual question to hairdressers, taking all the emotion out of it, if you paid for the haircut, even if you weren't there, is the reason you'd be dropped due to the lost tip and opportunity to upsell? Like, is it a financial thing or just personal? Because people aren't really getting it in the comments. They're like, why would she get rid of you? Yeah. And so, this person responds, I've been a stylist for 30 years. Like the other commenter said, this is ego. Or the lady did something else. She isn't sane. This is insane, right? I'm like, I'm like, for, you've been so loyal, and you've only called no-call-no-show three times, and there's that reaction. There seems to be something missing here. Yeah, like, what are you doing when you're in that chair? Yeah. Creating chaos. Yeah. The person goes on to say, in all my years, I've only ever fired two clients. One was stealing, and the other was because in over a year, she would book appointments and never made a single one. A client? What the fuck is a client stealing? I don't know. Shampoo? Shampoo? Shampoo? Scissors? Hairdressers, maybe, yeah. I did have a hairdresser story ages ago, and this is maybe a reason to be thankful you don't have hair. But this person would go in and get their hair cut, and the hairdresser would keep their hair in jars. All the clients are just this one person? Just that one. Ooh, a voodoo doll. I don't know, that's kind of hot. Oh. Yeah, they're into me so much, I want to keep my hair. Maybe that's your love language. Maybe that's how you feel love. Keep our hairs. Well, our writer does give us an edit, an update. Okay. Reddit is wild. You never know when a post is going to gain a lot of attention. I particularly enjoy the numerous people who just assume I'm an asshole, difficult client, always late, bitchy, etc., with exactly no evidence of that. I suspect the explanation is she's been in business long enough, she is successful enough, and now she just doesn't take any shit off anybody. As well, she shouldn't. Yeah. She's amazing. I fully admit 100% I was wrong for my no-call-no-show. I also never demanded that my husband. Go there? I mentioned I feel like maybe you should just stand behind me. This is not a fight. We're not getting divorced. I'm not leaving him. That's ridiculous. Because I think some people in the comments were like, divorce! Divorce is crazy. People throw divorce around so easily, I'm like. I used to. Oh, did you? Oh, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. But now you're in it, you're like, no, like. I'm still like, I love that it's an option. Like, I love that it exists for people. Yeah. I'm like, but jumping to divorce over a haircut. Over this? I mean, come on. Yeah, no. I'm like, you can work this out in the remix. OP does go on to say, Long story short, I have a simple, almost boy haircut, no color, nothing fancy, 20 minutes in the chair, $40 plus a $10 tip every time. She talks, I listen. I'm not much of a talker. Every haircut I get makes me happy. I never complain. I think she's just tired of people taking her for granted. Mm-hmm. And I probably took her for granted at the wrong time, in the wrong place. Mm-hmm. For the moment, I've made an appointment with somebody else. Maybe sometime in the future, I will reach out and try again. But right now, she's mad, and she's hurt my feelings. This person's very big. And self-aware. Yeah. And I love that, because that's a level of self-awareness I'm trying to get to. I need that. Especially now that I'm in my late mid-30s, you know? I try. I try, too. I really try to devil's advocate myself. How old are you? 32. I'm 36. Yeah, right there. Same boat. Yeah. No, yeah. I feel like I'm on the precipice of really having a nail down. I'm not close. You're like, no, not even. No. Not right now. Not right now. I'm going through a little funk. Ooh. So I'm kind of in, like, just kind of like a, I'm not feeling great. Got you. So I'm trying to be really self-aware of the situation. But it's hard. It is hard. It's like, I just want petty revenge. Yeah. Yeah. I just want scorched earth. It just feels meh. But this one, I think she's great. I'm going to take a little out of her playbook here. And I'm just going to grin and bear it. Yeah. Bottle it up. What have you been saying? Fester in silence. Suffer in silence. Suffer in silence. Yeah. No, but suffer in silence is not good, though. It's not good to keep that in. Maybe just special occasions. Yeah, just special occasions. Okay. I've got one last story for us. And then I've got one. I've got one where I'm just like, I just want you to offer a little advice. Have you ever been on a seesaw? I didn't even do that as a kid. Never? Never. That's the one that, like this? Yeah. Yeah, no, never been on a seesaw. They just look, a lot of these, like, playground instruments seem dangerous. And whoever just thought, oh, this is a great thing we should keep on a playground for children to play with. It's crazy. Like, I've seen so many Reddit injury videos where a kid gets their lip, their chin. I've never even hit on one of those seesaws. The merry-go-round one where the one that you spin, I'm like, who thought that there's a vomit vehicle? Oh, when you can whip them? Yes. Yeah. Did you ever go on a tire swing? No, just a regular swing. I always try to make it go over the railing. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you got, like, the height. You could probably, like, really get the momentum going. Yeah, but I never met the centrifugal force to make my body go over there. I was a very big kid. I was the biggest in every grade. So, the kids could never push me. It took, like, the entire class to push me. Oh, my God. That actually sounds kind of nice, though, not to get bullied. Oh, no. I was bullied. Oh, no. I was straight. Of course, I got bullied. Oh. The height didn't even save you. The height did not save me. Okay. Well, this one has to do with a seesaw. It's a very complex problem that you're, I'm confused. So, it's coming from Am I the Asshole? Titled, Am I the Asshole? For Refusing to Say It. For Refusing to Pay for My Best Friend's Medical Bills After Accidentally Catapulting Him Across a Park. Okay. I am 35 male, and my best friend, Marcus, is 34 male. We met in fourth grade and have been best friends for years. We've always had a good friendship. We were there for each other during breakups. I supported him after his dad passed. And all around, he's been a good friend. But something happened last week that made me question a lot. Last week, Marcus and I went on a guy's trip together. Where we traveled to our old hometown to visit places. Just for the sake of nostalgia. We ended up going. for a walk in our old neighborhood where we grew up, and we passed the elementary school that we went to together. The school has been renovated since the 90s, obviously, and a whole new playground was installed. There was this super cool seesaw that was installed, and we really wanted to try it out just because it looked fun. We saw a couple of kids using it when we first walked by the school, so we decided to walk around a bit more and then come back to see if they were gone. When we came back to the park, the kids were gone, and Marcus went over to the seesaw and sat on one end. I was super excited, and I ran over to the other end. Now, here's where I have to preface a couple of things. I'm a big guy. 6'2", almost 300 pounds. Marcus was always small for his age as a kid, and even now, he's only 5'3", and pretty skinny. Wow. A lot of people think it's funny when we hang out because we look like a kind of odd pair, but basically, I'm trying to understand what happened. So when I ran to the other end of the seesaw, I guess you could say I kind of jumped onto it. I thought it would be funny and wasn't really thinking, honestly. I pretty much jumped onto the seesaw with my feet on the seat, but I guess the screws on the seesaw were loose or something because my side of the seesaw went all the way to the ground. Marcus shot up like six feet in the air and literally flew a couple of feet. He landed awkwardly in the wood chips and ended up breaking one of his legs. Breaking a leg? Marcus is still in the hospital and just found out that he needs surgery on his leg. He's asking me to pay the medical bills because technically, it was my fault that he got hurt. I didn't mean for him to get hurt, and I feel terrible about it. I've been visiting him every day in the hospital to make sure he's doing okay, and I extended my hotel stay in this town so I could be there for him, the thing is, I've been saving up for an engagement ring for my girlfriend for six years, and I really don't want to spend that money on Marcus's surgery, especially because my girlfriend is expecting me to propose soon, and it would take a lot of time to save up enough money to get a ring again. And to be clear, Marcus was the one who first suggested we use the seesaw anyways, so am I the asshole for saying that I won't pay for his medical expenses? I think. That you are the asshole for not. Like, you catapulted me six feet into the end and broke my leg because you were, like, fucking around and doing, like, a thing. Like, none of that is my fault, and I think you should pony up and help me out with the medical expenses. Like, what? Like, we're grown adult people. Why would you do that? I know. You could probably put this on your homeowner's insurance. Oh. Like, my brother, oddly, like, accidentally injured someone at a wedding while they were dancing. She slipped and, like, fell, and so she sued him, and it just went on my mom's homeowner's insurance. Okay. But that's, like, not legal advice. I'm not a lawyer. Consult the legal advice sub or whatever, but, like, I do think, like, OP made that title. OP used the word accidentally catapulted him across a park. Like, you recognize you catapulted him, and you decided to jump on it. Like, also, you try to explain these physics, but that's just kind of. That's kind of a basic scale. Like, Marcus is 5'3 and pretty skinny, and you're 6'2, 300 pounds. Like, how were you going to seesaw? That's what I'm saying. Like, and you knew what, and you thought you were being funny. You thought it was going to be cute. You thought it would be funny. Yeah. And also, I have a sneaking suspicion, like, when you use the word catapult, I think when you say six feet, you're rounding down. It's more like probably 10 feet in the air. I would honestly double it. To break a leg? The force, you have to break a leg. Yeah, let's look at that. Let's get the physics up in here. Force requires. It's required to break a human leg, mainly the shin bone, about 11,000 newtons, which is roughly 2,500 pounds of force. Thigh bone, around 4,000. Yeah, I think that you OD'd, you walled out, and you need to pay for my broken leg. Also, the hospitals are expensive. I literally had a stomach thing. I ended up with, like, colitis in the hospital, and I still have an $8,000 bill I have to pay. It's insane. And I was there for, like, 24 hours. Yeah, I had a friend, she recently moved to France, and she went on, like, a little French skiing thing back in the winter. She's from the States, moved there. She break her leg, too? So, she, like, right before she went skiing, she got, like, the ski insurance, just in case of an accident. Had an accident, had this, like, crazy gastro, like, they had to airlift her to a hospital, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, my God. Guess how much that entire experience cost her? Zero dollars. 17 euros. America, just getting. It'd be a million. An Uber to the hospital is, like, $3,000. Ambulance, yeah. No, yeah. So, airlifted, emergency, stitches, blah, blah, blah, blah. 17 euros. So, I can only imagine what this medical bill is. You have to pony up, you have to help, and you have to fix it. Yeah. I mean, he also could just sue you. True. So. And which one of the. Do you want to remain friends? Right. Or. Yeah. Like, I think one way or another, he could get his money out of you. Is he? Is he that kind of guy? I don't know, maybe. But also, like, you don't have to go crazy on the ring. Like, there's lab grown, there's moissanite. Yeah. Like, there's other options for what you can get. Yeah, no blood diamonds for your girlfriend, okay? No. We're going to do a little something, a nice lab grown. I love a moissanite. Yeah. We love economical options. Absolutely. So. I mean, not for me, but for you, it would be great. Yeah. Also, if your girlfriend's going to break up with you because her ring's not nice enough, you don't want her. You don't want her. You don't want her. Top comment on this one. You're the asshole. Wasn't just technically your fault. It was your fault. What the fuck? In my opinion, you're the asshole, says the next top comment. You directly caused this guy's injury. The least you could do is not let him ruin himself financially. You hurt your friend with your carelessness. You're the asshole. You're the asshole, sweetie. You aren't confused about that. I hope he sues you and gets much more than the cost of the medical bills. Someone does say you're both technically the asshole here. Both? How is it? Both. That person should. You don't pay. He should be suing you in small claims court. Yes. I totally agree. Surgery, hospitalization, lost wages, and recovery. I'm thinking small claims won't come close. So, how do you want to proceed forward, my guy? Yeah, girl. You're the asshole. You got to make it right. I agree. Okay. Last one for us here. Mm-hmm. This is coming from r slash. I, 24 female, really want to go see a drag show next week, but I'm torn because I'd have to go alone. I'm super nervous. This is pretty straightforward and may seem silly to some, but I can't make up my mind about this for the life of me, and I'd really appreciate some kind advice. Ever since the beginning of this month, when I saw this ad for a Halloween special drag show scheduled for next week, I desperately wanted to go. But none of my friends are available to go with me, and I'm intimidated by the thought of going by myself, mainly because the show starts at 9, and ends at 2 a.m. I've never been out that late by myself, and despite having been born and raised in the city, I hardly know my way around my own neighborhood. So getting home would be a challenge, since the subway would have already stopped running by then. And not only that, the show itself is being held at a bar, and I don't drink. At all. I don't know if there's an etiquette or something associated with these kind of events. I'm anxious about sticking out like a sore thumb for going there by myself and sipping on water the whole night, looking like a total loser. Is it okay if I don't talk to anyone unless I'm sick? Is it okay if I'm spoken to first? What if I stayed glued to my phone and just quietly watched the show? Can I leave before the show is scheduled to end? Or would that be rude? My little queer heart is crying out for me to go because it looks so promising and fun, but I'm super anxious about everything I've written above. Please help. Okay, there's so much here. First of all, you can absolutely go to the show by yourself. Plenty of people go to drag shows alone. The number one thing you want to do is walk with at least $20 in singles. Okay. Okay, especially if it's a free show, you can walk in there with $20 in singles. You want $20 in singles, one $10 bill and two $5 bills, okay? Because here's what's going to happen. For most of girls performing, you're going to give them a dollar, two, three dollars, but there's going to be one queen that's going to fucking turn the party and she's going to blow your mind. She's going to do a backflip into a split and then pull her tits off of the floor and then put them where her balls are, okay? It's going to be the most amazing, amazing thing you've ever seen and you're going to tip that queen $10. Because when you tip her a big bill, you're going to have her undivided attention. She's going to make sure you're good. She's going to take care of you. So you want to cement that thing and you can always leave whatever time you want. If you're going to leave early, don't sit in the front. Yeah. Don't be in the front row and then half way through the show like, it's going to be awkward. Everyone's going to see you leave and then the queen's going to make fun of you. So if you're going to leave early, don't sit in the front. And let me tell you something, gay bars are fun. They're filled with sobers. There are so many sober people. I know so many sober people at the bar. And also, if you don't want to like signal that you're sober and you're drinking water, just get a seltzer water. People don't know if you. Put lime on it. Everyone's going to think that it's a vodka soda. Yep. So get you a seltzer. Don't sit in front of people even early and make sure you tip. If you don't tip, you're signing your own death certificate and people will shun you from the bar. Yeah. But go by yourself. I go to drag shows by myself all the time. People I feel like make friends a lot at live shows too - Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like, when they come to our live shows, they go by themselves they'll do a meet and greet they'll literally make friends in line for the meet and greet and then they take their picture together love that and i'm sure that's the same at your show at your tour like people just that sense of connection when you're in the room and you're a fan of the same person yeah you instantly have something to talk about and bond over yeah what's your favorite episode how'd you find them blah blah blah like yeah i agree you will make friends yeah you'll make friends so don't be afraid you'll make friends girl don't take that all that stress that anxiety it's gonna be a good night treat yourself and yeah go go go listen go watch these local shows don't only be a i only watch drag race girls so yeah that's that that's my advice i love that where can people find you how can they come to your show if you want to come find me go to monet exchange.com to get your tickets that's m-o-n-e-t the letter x the word change and i'm coming all across america's fort wayne florida texas uh salt lake city everywhere you have really good stops i'm like how can i go to one no really good i'll do la day probably in the next spring and really fun show i've seen your bits like some of them online like they're so good so you guys go to a show go have fun and uh all of monet's links will be in the description easy to find go follow subscribe and get your tickets thank you for having me this is so fun thank you for coming on i had a good time until next time guys bye on any journey using uber it helps to know you're getting into the right car pin verification adds an extra step to make sure your ride is your ride before the trip begins your app gives you a unique pin pin verification adds an extra step to make sure your ride is your ride just tell it to your driver and they'll enter it in their app before the ride can start hey what's your pin 2538 that way you know you're in the right car taking the right trip and your driver knows you're the right passenger make sure your ride is your ride with pin verification from uber one more way uber is putting safety at every turn learn more on the uber app the right window treatments change everything your sleep your privacy the way every room looks and feels at blinds.com we've spent 30 years making it surprisingly simple to get exactly what your home needs we've covered over 25 million windows and have 50 000 five-star reviews to prove we deliver whether you diy it or want a pro to handle everything from measure to install we have you covered real design professionals free samples zero pressure right now get up to 45 off site wide plus get a free professional measure at blinds.com rules and restrictions apply