Self tanning, Hibachi, and How to Beat the Winter Scaries

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try it at Progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. FX's American Horror Story returns for an unrivaled 13th installment. With the iconic horrors you love to fear, and an all-star cast reprising fan-favorite roles. Light your candles, draw your pentagrams, and prepare for a supreme surprise. FX's American Horror Story 13. Now streaming on Hulu. I feel like a part of me split at that point. A part of me went on to continue this pregnancy, and I met our daughter. I'm alive and healthy, and then this other part of me is like living in reality. Where I'm not pregnant, and I'm not going to meet our baby. When we're dating, we need to be extremely picky about who we choose to marry. Is this a problem that I'm willing to put up with for the rest of my life in marriage? Tanning my face single-handedly got me through my first three months of postpartum. Now listen, I did have allergic reactions. Everything comes with a cost. I'm willing to have hives on my neck to feel alive. This could be my new hobby! Honestly, it's perfect for me. I'd be like, "Hey, hi." Pickling yourself. Make a little onion. Train, train, train. I was wondering what your advice is on feeling like you're being judged on your parenting. Welcome back to Always Here. I'm your host, Abbey Howard. And I'm Abbey Howard. Hey! How you doing? Good, how you doing? I'm good. I feel like someone just sent me through a washing machine and wrung me out and blow-dried me like a dog. Because you went to the gym? I went to the gym and showered, blow-dried my hair, curled it so fast, I'm like, "Ugh!" You came down with perfect ringlets. I'm like, "How in the heck did she have time for that?" I needed to shake it out. They're beautiful. Thank you. But you're stressed. You're coming down from it. No, I just feel like a poodle that just went through something crazy. No, I feel good. A little sore, but I'm happy. It's a good kind of sore. Oh, good. I have this, like, random meniscus issue. I don't know if it's that. I'm diagnosing myself with that. So, can't go to the gym this week. Talk to Matt. You know he tore his meniscus. Yeah, I think Caleb's got issues, too. So, they'll be our doctors. That's all I need. That's all I need. What's wrong here? Right. We are here to share the hope and the hard with Heart and Humor. That's right. Yes. And we have, actually, an exciting announcement to start with. So, something really fun and hopeful. Yes, we are doing a book club. Oh, baby. Yes. I mean, you know me. This is really exciting for me. I'm thrilled about it. So, we're just going to kind of figure this out as a community together, navigate what this is going to look like. But we'll put a link to it down in the description. OK. So, it's starting in February. February's book is My Husband's Wife. Right. None of y'all have read it. Well, maybe you have by the time this episode comes out. That'd be a really quick read. Some people are on top of it. Really? Yeah. I mean-- How do you find books? Hmm. Is that a long answer? I find books from Abby Howard. Really? Really. You really always only read the books that you recommend. That's so nice. No, you recommended me a book recently. And I was like, thank you. I would not recommend the book I'm reading. I think it's too sad. I don't want that. Well, I just read a really sad book, too. And it was OK. But what I'm saying is the book is My Husband's Wife. I heard about this one because she's a very already popular author. And everyone has their watch list for 2026 new releases. This is a new release. We read Alice Feeney for our personal in-person book club last year in the month of January. Oh, really? That was Rock Paper Scissors? Rock Paper Scissors. Oh, yeah. That was fun. So I think it's just going to be a fun, I'm anticipating, suspenseful thriller vibe mystery. And so if you're in for that, read that book. And we'll have some fun prompts in Goodreads and just discuss it together. Should be kind of fun. And it might be motivating. If one of your goals for 2026 is to read more books, then we've got your first one picked out for you. And it should be a fun ride. So check out that link. This is fun. Always Here's very own book club. Woo-hoo. OK. Not hard. You go first because mine's kind of heavy. Why do I keep dropping in the heavy ones? Well, I think that's what hard means. OK, yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're like, I'm sore. And I was like, I'm depressed. I'm not. I'm not. Oh, it's great. I'm not depressed, I swear. Hey, interrupting the podcast. Really quick to just ask you guys a little small favor. We put this podcast out here for free. So we're just asking for the small payment of a like, a review, five stars, subscribe, download the podcast, whatever platform you're on. Basically, just tell them that you enjoy it and intend to come back. It really, really means so, so much to us. We were really grateful. And here is your five seconds to do that really quick. We'll give you the time. One, two, three, four, five. Woo. You did it. And it wasn't that hard. It wasn't that painful. So thank you so, so much. OK, now we'll get back to the episode. My hope and my heart are similar but different. They are both that I'm overwhelmed, but I'm overwhelmed about different things. My hope is that I have been reading my DMs on Instagram and I've been reading the comments for this podcast. And I have been so overwhelmed by the kindness that you guys are all so kind. And to one, give us your time on Fridays and lend us your ear. I'm like, what do we have to say that, I don't know, just the people are giving their time is so-- it's such a crazy thought to me. And I don't take that lightly. And so I just feel so grateful. And it's been so fun. And I'm excited to do the book club and do these things to just dive deeper with you guys. Because I feel like we have-- we're broadening and getting to know each other. And I'm excited to go deep. Yeah. So I just feel overwhelmed with joy and kindness from you guys. So thank you for all your comments and calling in and doing everything. Because we literally wouldn't have a podcast without you guys. Right. So good. I feel the same way, seriously. It's just-- I actually was at Hobby Lobby yesterday. And I ran into someone so sweet and her sweet little baby girl shopping at Hobby Lobby. And she was like, this is great. This right here is great. She's like, I love listening to Always Here and your podcast. I've met the first-- Always Here listener. Oh, my god. Or at least introduced herself in that way to me. And she was like, I'm just so excited. I love it. And it's just so sweet being able to put faces behind this. Because it's like, sometimes this feels like, OK. This is really fun. And honestly, if anything comes to this, it's fun that we just get this time together every week. Totally. Just to hang out and chat. Yeah. But then beyond that, the fact that there is a very real community behind it that means so much to me. And I have online communities I'm a part of too that just-- if you-- that's a really special thing. Yeah. And it's really cool that we get to actually experience that in this day and age where it feels like there's a lot of online chatter. But we can, like you said, go deeper like that too. So anyway, it's just like-- it's a responsibility that neither of us take lightly. And we just are so grateful for. Totally. Just shouting back what you said, but feel the same way. Caleb had a really good suggestion. He said we could come up with a name for our listeners. And he suggested Always Homies. And maybe we love Caleb's thoughts. Thought process. Maybe we-- you guys can leave suggestions in the comments. And we all think-- That's cute. --think on what we can call our community. I honestly like Always Homies, but I love it too. I don't know if it's on brand. No, I think that's really cute. I like it. OK. So maybe we'll reconvene to this conversation at another time. But think about it and comment it. I don't know if I could ever say it with a straight face. Right. No, you have to do the hand motion. Yeah, we could do the homie. Did you do that too? My heart-- or do you want to do your hope? And then we can go home. Mine are connected too. So you do both of yours. OK. My heart is that I'm also feeling very overwhelmed. And I don't know if this is just a hormone thing or I'm still trying to navigate getting used to being a mother of two just with all the responsibilities that come with that. But I feel like it comes in waves. Some days, I feel everything goes really smooth. And then other days, I'm literally-- like last week, I locked myself out of the house twice-- just a chicken with my head cut off. And I don't feel like I can catch up. And then it's-- like externally, I feel like a lot of people come up to me and they say, it looks like you're doing great in postpartum. And there are things that I am doing really well in that I would say. But then other times, it's like I feel like outwardly, I can show that I'm fine because I don't always express how I'm feeling inside. But I literally feel like I'm drowning sometimes. And I can't-- it's like I need to take my shoulders and just drop them. So I've been feeling that a lot this week and maybe the last two weeks. And I don't even know if it's-- I wouldn't say it's anxiety because it's not an anxious feeling, and I don't even think I'm handling my stress poorly. It's just that I'm feeling a lot of stress. And I don't always feel stress all the time like that. So I don't know if it's just a hormone shift or just outward circumstances or just like still adjusting. But I sometimes get frustrated with myself because I would think, oh, I'm four months postpartum. I should be past this. And yeah, I'm still not. Yeah, so I feel like that's in my heart lately. Yeah. Well, like you said, I wouldn't even know because you handle it so well. But I think every mom's probably felt that. And I think it's very honest, too, the way you're like, sometimes it feels like I don't feel it at all and everything's great. And the next day, it's like, bleh. It's like, how are we even here? I think, yeah. Did you want advice on that or no? Yeah, I could give advice. OK, just a little further with kids. I think the thing that made that overwhelm happen to me the most is when I was trying to combine my work with my-- kids, having those firm boundaries really helped me drop my shoulders, lock in on my work hours, lock in on my kid time. that's not always able to happen like dates happen but I felt that way significantly less once and another thing is that a lot of this is just gonna be time I know you said you're like I'm four months postpartum I should feel like I feel like I should have been past it's like no four months is like a unique difficult stage too so it could be a combination of things but having those boundaries with it really really helped yeah and so as much help and also we don't need to feel ashamed for asking for help with people and I have to I'm telling myself this too because sometimes I'm like sitting here in my guilt like why can't I just do everything right then if I was a really good mom I could do every single thing it's like actually that's a lie that's a lie we're not we can't do that I think that is part of why I feel frustrated with myself too it's because I do have help like Caleb helps so much when he's home from work and then my parents literally have been my mom comes been coming over every morning and helping and I'm like why do I have help and I still can't get on top of things mm-hmm and I think that's where I'm feeling like I'm like wait what am I supposed to do if I do have help and I'm still behind but maybe it is maybe we should talk after just like what you did for your schedule to help mm-hmm break up the two and you can give me some more practicals of that because it probably is just like a managing my time thing and I'm not I've never been good at that and so then it's just heightened too many tabs your brain is can't have that many tabs I think yeah my brain just feels like mush yeah you're like yeah I can't get you straight no that's very honest thanks for sharing that yeah thanks for advice I always want advice I was like well sometimes you know there's a time and place for it well okay I just want to get this off my chest no which happens sometimes no no no I want advice um my hope and my heart are also the same thing um but I didn't realize okay so my due date was at the end of February and like now that we're at the end of January everyone that I was pregnant with like that whole journey is like now getting to meet their babies mm-hmm and I'm like I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know and it's like my hope and my heart too because I'm watching them and I genuinely feel so excited like I just feel giddy for them like the fact that they get to take a fresh baby home and like introduce the baby to their older siblings and like I am just like that is so exciting and that just makes it makes me feel so much joy for them but then also like I do have like so much joy and faith for my future too like this is gonna this is gonna be our reality at some point but at the same time it's really hard because like I think it just like it hit me really hard the other night I just was like sobbing to Matt because it's like you know I think that ever since okay context I had a second trimester loss last September the end of September and the image that I had in my head that I've kind of shared online and other facets before is so I was like running a marathon with all like I had so many friends that were pregnant at the same time and it's like we were all running a marathon and then I just like dropped out like I wasn't there anymore and I think the hard thing I've been grappling with since the loss is like I feel like a part of me split at that point like a part of me went on to continue like this pregnancy and I met our daughter alive and healthy and like she's growing up and like and so I think this this part of my life is like a small part of me still is using those time markers and then this other part of me is like living in reality or it's like I'm not pregnant and I'm not going to meet our baby having that like dissonance is like it's also really hard and complicated and heavy too and I and I anticipated like approaching the due date to be really hard and so I'm like not shocked by this but I still have to live through it and like get through it but I hope that at some point these time markers will stop because it's not serving me like I always want to remember her and like honor her life but I don't want to keep like being like okay at this point I would have been this far along my pregnancy and I just hope that at some point I can be like okay at this point she'd be two years old or this would be like I don't I don't want to continue that um because I don't think that's necessary to like honor her life because it also is like holding me back in a way too but gosh got so heavy in that but like as we're getting there like more and more of those friends are now meeting their babies and it's like it's it's a hundred percent both like hopeful and hard so that's just life and that's like where I'm at and so yeah also I think a lot of moms also probably know this same feeling like it's not uncommon and like I have the capacity to hold both and so I feel like people like I've said this before like want to protect me from those things and I think that's very sensitive and like kind and thoughtful but also I'm like I I'm fully I'm fully strong and I can cry about it and I can still like it's it's like I'm okay so there's that that's just kind of like I think that it just is starting to just get to that really difficult season like where it felt like it got a little bit easier for a little bit there and then now it's like getting difficult again but there's hope so yeah yeah I feel like there are gonna be a lot of waves yeah as it continues yeah and as time goes on yeah I never get tired of hearing you talk about it I never get tired of hearing you talk about her that's yeah I like I'm grateful for that when you talk about her because sometimes I want to talk about yeah her and the loss and yeah like want to see how you're doing but just yeah I was like talking to the kids about her in the car too because I'm like I feel like I had the trying to like do that the right amount is so confusing and like today I was like able to talk about her in the car with the kids and I wasn't crying so I wasn't like emotional dumping on them but um it felt really good to like talk about her and stuff but yeah and also with Matt when I was like freaking out he like talked about her too and I was like that was sweet but yeah oh you know it's just not something that it's not something that should be easy to get over so like the fact that it hurts is because it's it was a hard thing it was a big loss yeah and so yeah I just also want to feel like other moms that are like experiencing like second trimester or miscarriage in general yeah it is a big loss and like if you're grieving hard it's because it's it's a really hard thing and it's not supposed to be easy and so in another way I'm like thankful that it's hard you know yes so yeah that was the heavy that was really good talk about something like that was really good thank you thank you for sharing that thank you yeah I know it's like we love you guys so much yeah and we love baby girl and yeah we're with you and like the sadness yeah sorry you're left with a hard part to transition now no no I like that yeah I'm trying I'm like I just want to see if there's anything else came to mind that I wanted to like ask or talk about with that oh yeah go for it not everyone is willing to talk about a loss like that because it's so heavy and it's so hard and you being able to talk about it and wanting to talk about it I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know is selfless in a way because then it allows us to step into it and not be a little nervous to bring up that topic I feel like you've opened it with open arms to be able to talk about her and remember her and coming into this month knowing that it's going to be a hard one and allowing us into that because we're grieving with you because we loved her so much too and so knowing that you're opening us to come in and help you and walk with you through that during this hard season is I appreciate that it's an honor it is an honor yeah that's well said Addie do you feel like there are things that you're doing that have helped you process those emotions or like when you do see our friends having babies and like I don't know is there anything that you've done you're like this was really helpful honestly I feel like the thing about like my friends having babies is not I don't have that personal attachment that I maybe would have even anticipated myself but certainly like what other people anticipate for me is that for me it's just like my journey just feels so separate and it just feels like does that make sense yeah like but um what really helps is honestly seeing like healthy pregnancies like I told Matt I was like I literally cannot ever imagine getting a big belly like and having a baby I can't I can't picture having a newborn like I like I like that picture just got ripped out of my head I've done it twice like and I just but I it just felt so impossible so I imagine if I had had a miscarriage before having my boys like really losing like a picture for what this could look like and so having really close like honestly sisters of mine like walk through that and have such positive experience that is in itself is really healing yeah and it's really positive for me now I don't I'm not speaking for everyone that's experienced like miscarriage or loss because I can also feel like I'm like I'm not like I can also see it because it is also hard but that in itself is really like that I find so much hope in like so much redemption and so I don't know and also it's just like when I was sad and wanted to cry about it I just did so I don't think that and I think that's the other thing not judging my own feelings about it because there's a lot of really like there's some really ugly emotions that come up and I'm like I just like I feel like it's just like Matt or in therapy I like bring it up and like this thing I feel like it's just like Matt or in therapy I like bring it up and like this thing I know and also acknowledging like that's not a thought that I want to have sure and like we can that was something that I'm like I don't think we talk about a lot like you can take your thoughts captive like you can change your thoughts you can acknowledge a thought that you have and be like yeah I thought this I don't want to think like this this isn't healthy this isn't this isn't good this isn't pleasing and so like whenever I had those like first of all being honest with myself like okay you had this like dark dark negative just honestly evil thought like turning that around actively like that has been helpful and I think that can take like journaling is helpful like to slow it down and to like rewrite that but also yeah like I'm in therapy and I that is like honestly a topic a lot of the time that like I want to talk about honestly just trying to picture a different a different outcome like while still on like thinking of ways to like honor this life like hold both I'm kind of rambling at this point no those are really good it really feels good to see my friends like have their babies and like that the last thing I want is for anyone else close to me to walk through this like I that is the last thing I want and so seeing in real life in real time this happening and having such a positive outcome in itself is just I gained so much hope from that totally yeah it's a visual representation of it can it does this is not the the always certainty right this will not happen every time like there's a possibility that there's great possibility that like we will have healthy babies yes yes and it's that reminder that this is just this is not your only reality right yeah right there's there's future hope yeah I think that's good taking every thought captive it's hard practice but yeah when you do it voice those those crazy thoughts and you work through them process through them yeah I felt like I was just like a more or less a victim of my totally like I was like oh they're gonna come and like I can't do anything about it yeah it's like that's not the case it's a really good advice thank you yeah because it's so easy I think too when you think things that are hard or evil it's easy to sit on them and think oh I can't tell anyone this because it's kind of embarrassing that that's I thought that but sitting on those thoughts doesn't help yourself or anybody it's best to to share them yeah and move through them that's really good thanks for sharing that I think a lot of people are going to be really blessed by that thank you thank you to miracle made for sponsoring this portion of today's episode Evie do you ever wake up sweaty sure do freezing yep oh same I honestly wake up hot a lot I wake up just dripping hot I wake up just dripping hot I wake up just dripping drenched in sweat a lot of the times next to a mammal that is making me warm he's radiating heat radiating heat I'm the radiator and something that's great about miracle made sheets is that they are crafted with nasa inspired silver infused fabric that helps regulate your body temperature that's super cool I've actually never heard of sheets that have silver in them and I didn't quite understand why miracle made did that but it is because of their antibacterial silver technology miracle made sheets are cleaner and fresher up to three times longer than regular sheets that's amazing you think about the oils on your skin the lotions the sweat it's really cool that miracle made has a solution and they feel just as good if not 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and justin bieber have you heard about this I know who they are okay perfect zero context you heard about this I've heard about the biebers they're suing a tiktoker they sent her a cease and desist for defamation whoa yes it's gotten pretty nasty it's very hot topic online these days whoa yeah so the girl jules theis is her name she has her master's in psychology I believe and so she has a platform where she talks a lot about uh she points out abusive toxic characteristics that she sees in dating and relationships and she talks a lot about the tolerant codependent and she made a video saying that a tolerant codependent now I have a lot of thoughts about about her content I don't agree with a lot of it but she okay okay I'm not gonna get into that yet see I'm glad that we're getting the context right now I want to say something like yes we need to get the context we have a lot of context and she has videos where she says that she believes most women in long-term marriages are tolerant codependents and get the short end of the stick she said in her video most she says most this is in a different video I watched well she said most long-term relationships that we romanticize and congratulate only work because the woman is tolerant and codependent and what she means by that is tolerates mediocrity abuse doing the majority of domestic and emotional labor in exchange for being in a relationship and then she said there's no better example than hayley bieber and justin bieber who she claimed because he is an addict he an addict means you're an abuser so she said a lot of things in that video that were pretty bold claims and this is where it gets a little sticky is hayley bieber accidentally reposted the video yeah yeah that's a shocker one it's a shock and so then she went online hayley was like I never posted the video I never posted the video but there's a there is so people are maybe seeing that as like a plea for help I don't I think people are just like she kind of then was saying that she didn't and people have a lot of proof that she did there are a lot of screenshots of saying like hayley reposted which I will say on tiktok it's so easy to accidentally repost things so easy yeah but now she's she's standing firm in that she didn't repost it and then it's kind of like well there's a lot of pictures of that you did so I think it's just interesting that she saw it and then she sent the cease and desist letter to this girl for defamation her mission and she said this a lot on her page because I went through her videos is that she wants to educate women and have them get help them get out of toxic and abusive relationships and this is her viewpoint she she does say a lot that she kind of built herself up from the ground up she had a very hard past she's been in abusive relationships in the past so this is her that's her viewpoint is that this is really common it's like toxic and abusive hard marriages and relationships so knowing that that's her viewpoint it's like okay you've been in these situations you obviously want to help them and get out but I am like girl absolutely what you said is defamation and so I'll have you watch the video so then you can kind of have a little more context let me start by saying I would be amazed if the Biebers won this case just because I know that the standard if you are considered a public figure the standard for defamation because you know we have we have free speech you're allowed to talk about people but if you're a public figure you're allowed to talk about them in a different way than say like someone that hasn't chosen to be public facing like you can talk that you can actually pretty much say just about anything even if you can prove that what they said was completely false I'm saying this from a little bit of personal experience potentially even if you can literally prove that that is false safer and I got an example say someone was like this video they made this amount of money on like well that's pretty clearly a black and white fact we can prove that in court we did not we that's not true doesn't matter it actually doesn't matter at all if you can like literally go and even show receipts of like this is actually a downright lie it does not matter so I I doubt that they win this but honestly I think that it's I think that they're winning in a way by trying to fight it you know what I mean yeah I I was going to ask about that because when is the line of when do you feel like you stand up to someone that is maybe bullying or like being mean and when do you not like what is the line because I feel like I always take the angle of just don't acknowledge the hate but because she did accidentally repost it I feel like she did have to acknowledge it so I don't know what is your thoughts on like addressing some of this stuff you think that's a win I think them choosing to do that is very like I admire that yeah I think it's brave I think it's brave and I think it's I mean I'm not speaking on there I don't actually know anything about their marriage but also I would say that that TikToker also does not know I don't know anything about their marriage either and everyone that she's all the couples that she is mentioning she does not actually know even if someone has like shared so much about their marriage you still have to know like we have to have this grounding like feet on the ground we actually don't know their marriage me and you we spend a lot of time talking about our marriage intimately we live very close we spend a lot of time together I'm around you and your husband a lot I still have to acknowledge there's I don't know what it's like in your household totally same I do think it poses an interesting topic and this is something that I feel pretty passionately about is that when as women and as men we have free will and when we're dating we need to be extremely picky about who we choose to marry yeah you are yoking your life with somebody and nobody is a perfect person I think also like a lot of her commentary lacks Grace and like her saying that only the husband is flawed and like not the wife like we're both Caleb and are both extremely flawed people and we choose to be forgiving we choose to be encouraging and of course there's going to be compromise in a marriage Now there's not compromise of values, boundaries, respect, but they're obviously like Caleb hates when I'm late and it makes him really upset. And so every week when I'm late for church, he says, Hey, I'm like, I'm upset that we're late and he brings it forward and we talk about it. But like, I just, I feel like when we're dating and we're choosing to marry, we have to be very picky because the things that you see in marriage or in dating and the red flags that you see, or even like the little things that you see are just going to amplify in marriage. So you have to decide, is this an, a problem that I'm willing to put up with for the rest of my life in marriage? Caleb knew when we were dating that I was extremely unorganized, that I was bad at time management. It's gotten way worse as we've gotten married. Was he okay with picking that problem? Yes. And you know, vice versa, he has things. So it's like, I, that's always my like cry to young women and young adult women. When you're in the dating phase, it's like, I do believe that like there are very unhealthy marriages. There are bad people in. All these things, you know? Um, and so my warning is like, when we have the chance, don't ignore the red flags. I don't know. That's always my like, I think that's a really good, that's, that's a really good call out when she just kind of throws these words around and I'm like, there is an aspect of marriage that's beautiful and it's called commitment and it's really important. I choose to love Caleb every day. He chooses to love me every day and he is choosing to commit to me despite my flaws and that's really important. And that's, that gives a lot of safety. And it's like, I can be myself. I can express the hard parts of my life to him and he knows the darkest parts of me and he still chooses to love me. That is marriage. That is beautiful. That's grace. And so I'm not going to like hold those things above him. He doesn't hold those things over my head and vice versa. And I think sometimes when we hear these things online, um, people are really quick to be like, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out. And it's like, well, there's an aspect of when you're married, you're committed and you can't just run at the first. Sign of like one hard thing. I don't know. That's my viewpoint. Yeah. I do think that the call to be careful about like you consume is also a really good call out because like, even just like seeing a couple of those videos, it's like, oh, that just makes me like, I feel like a part of me is like angry, like, is that like, what's wrong? Like, let me find out what's wrong with what we're doing, like, in what ways is she right about like this? And it's like that plant seeds. Yeah. And that's not actually something that is based in truth and also just not even, it's not. It's not serving any part. Like, I don't know. I, I would just say, yeah. What's going to make you like fall more in love with your husband to make you love your life more in your circumstances more. I'm sure there are people that listen. I don't know also about his drug situation that does kind of like change it for me as well. But she did say as a fact that he is an addict. She said it as a fact that he is an addict and that all addicts are abusive partners. She said an addictive partner is always an abusive partner. I could see how maybe that's. I don't actually disagree. I don't necessarily disagree, but calling him an addict without proof that he is an addict. Yeah. Unfair. Yeah. I mean, an addiction is very serious and it affects everyone in your house. So that's not even like, I agree, Eddie. Yeah. But it's, um, he has admitted to being an addict in the past, but to say now that he currently is, is a bold claim. What I think is interesting from that video and then we can, we can move forward is she really only touched on them at the very beginning to kind of get the clicks. And then she actually spoke more on the Ozzy Osbourne and Sherry Osbourne. And then she talked about them more. I think she talked about them more. You guys' house always has the TV. on always it's and what is it always on sports yeah that's how my house was growing up okay my first one is an everything shower often oh yeah everything shower often because when you're inside the last thing going to be is inside and have bad hair you know what i mean when i feel ugly it's usually because my hair is bad and shave your legs shaving my legs you're gonna wear pants shaving my mustache shaving my armpits and painting my toenails just doing all the like the grooming things that it's so easy to put off in the when i'm inside and in the winter yeah and it's like okay if i feel bad about myself if i wash my hair more often and i can style it i feel a little bit better that's a good one yeah the hair does make a difference and i always neglect it today is the first day i blue dry my hair in maybe two months oh wow yeah it looks amazing thank you i was gonna say your hair looks really good thank you i think it's because i blue dry it is that what it is blue dry it um no i blew it that's that's something with that you're not gonna get away saying something wrong or with blank what did i say yesterday i mean i knew capacity i say capacity it's capacity yeah i say capacity every time and blake calls me out and i get mad every time my mom always says documentary and honestly i don't blame her for it it's spelled like okay what's your second one okay well i think we can share in this one this is also piggybacking off the every shower at the same time tan tan tan tan tan your face i'm telling you when i am feeling like there's just a certain feeling that'll arise in the depths of my stomach and and i'm like what's wrong everything feels wrong and then i'm like wait i'm just so pale and then i tan and here's my thing about self tan i don't care if it looks good no i don't care if it looks natural sure i don't care if my hands are orange i don't care if past that i don't even do my back actually i was tanning the other day and matt goes matt goes do you want me to do the back and i was like no i don't see it it's none of my business the back of my head is none of my business the back of my whole backside for me and it doesn't matter that's the thing this is such bad advice but i mean it doesn't it's good advice it doesn't matter if it looks good no you will feel so much better because you know what you go i'm alive i just feel like so and also when i'm self tan i feel like i already just have like a jump start of my day because it already looks like i have a little bit of makeup on totally like i just i feel like i want to show my legs uh-huh i want those to be seen i'm gonna wear shorts yeah i'm gonna even if it's cold like it's just something about it it's it's it's one of those external things that just like seeps into your skin into your psyche for sure it gets in my head and i'm like i'm amazing today is great tanning my face single-handedly got me through my first three months of postpartum now listen i did have allergic reactions every time i used it and i still used it everything comes with a cost everything comes at a cost and i was like that's a cost i'm willing to have i'm willing to have hives on my neck to feel alive i respect that thank you i respect that beauty is pain you just have to know i mean here's the thing it's not for everybody but if you haven't tried it and you just start feeling like everything's just a little bit bad oh then tan and everything will be better oh it's a quick turnaround it's a quick turn it's an instant boost instant honestly it doesn't i don't even have to rinse it off before i'm already like no i use those isle of paradise drops in the face lotion you don't even have to rinse anything it just looks in your moisturizer put it on you're a good deal okay my second one this is an activity um purging my closet that's a great that that is a really it makes me feel light it makes me feel fresh and it gives me a little piece of excitement because now i get to fill it with things i actually need and are fun and serve me better so when i am like okay i'm bored in the house what am i gonna do i'm feeling in a slump i start purging that's a good one thank you get rid of the stuff that you're like if i didn't wear it in the past year it's gone i have a rule i give myself two two consecutive seasons so if i don't wear something for two consecutive winters then i donate it if i don't wear something two consecutive summers because sometimes there's just that's true maybe there was an occasion or maybe you were pregnant yeah maybe i've been pregnant postpartum so it just didn't fit so there's if i give myself two seasons and if i didn't touch it i donate it and it just feels really like you're clearing your mental space it just is very healing i need to do that i know it's such a good feeling and it's honestly fun once you get in there and you can start trying things on and then you start having fun in your closet and then you're like oh my god i'm so tired and that is such a hobby of mine i love going in and making new outfits with the clothes that i already have and it just is it's honestly a dream day that's good that's good that'll feel make you feel refreshed yes i don't really actually have anything to add on to that i love that one i need to do it personally i'm getting to the point where i'm ready for my next purge needs to happen for me want me to come help you yeah we'll do each other that'd be fun i need to go because i like literally just grab what's on the top every time and i'm like well i like it and i wear it a lot but i'm like i'm not really making it up for you right because i'm like i don't fit in that right now or i don't fit in that and i'm like let's just get rid of it then i know let's just it's gone totally um okay this one is really applicable to me personally when i lived in a colder climate now i have to say we are coming from a place of privilege right now we actually live in arizona having glorious time right now it's very sunny here every day it's actually still pretty warm when you like if you are in the direct sunlight yeah it's like 75 you could get warm it's important it's amazing it's great um but this really applied to me when i was living in missouri go to a heated workout and because you probably haven't sweat in a minute like sweat a lot and something about sweating a lot if you go to like a heated yoga you will it's like a lizard shedding their outer skin oh you're so right like it is just like oh i just need to just sweat a ton and you're just kind of like jog back into place and just need to be really hot yeah also you're you need to be really hot uh-huh and so we could still do it here i feel like it could still work but it's really really hits this spot if you're in like a cold climate there was and then when you walk out and you're soaking wet and you hit that cold it just oh the electricity that goes through your bones it's like i just had really hot i'm soaking wet and now i'm frigid oh that's like a cold plunge cold plunge sauna combo exactly that will get your circulation moving that will send a shark shark that will send a shock through your brain waves it will actually restart your heart yeah you will die and then it'll come back to the back no but i do think that it is a good thing to kind of you know kick you out of some type of funk and also in general this could also just work if you go do like a really hard workout totally just get a lot of sweat out release some endorphins release all the i don't know i'm thinking about all the things from the holidays just get it out get it out you'll feel great fx's american horror story returns for an unrivaled 13th installment with the iconic horrors you love to fear and an all-star cast reprising fan favorite roles light your candles draw your pentagrams and prepare for a supreme surprise fx's american horror story 13 now streaming on hulu um okay i feel like my number three kind of piggybacks off of my number two of purging the closet pick a day and i'm gonna go to the mall by myself i'm either gonna go to the mall or i'm gonna go thrifting alone and i'm just gonna meander i'm gonna look at all the beautiful things and maybe i won't buy anything but that alone time slowly carousing the aisles looking at things getting in feeling inspired getting out of the house but still inside oh it rejuvenates me i love going to the mall by myself with no time limit just perusing you don't agree you don't like going alone i don't like going alone i actually really don't like going to the mall oh it's honestly it's been revived in me in the last two years fashion in you you like that i just remember as a kid creativity from that i do yeah when i was a kid i remember i would have i would wake up and i'd be like i have to go to the mall today like i would just have this feeling in my bones and i'd i just am dying and the only thing that would make me feel good is if i go to the mall and i wouldn't buy anything i would just walk around i had like 12 to my name i'd be in eighth grade and i begged my mom to take me to the mall and i would just look at all the pretty things and it was just so inspiring and fun yeah and it's just get out of the house you're walking you're moving that's where you got it you just gotta get out of your house you gotta get out of the house yeah and the mall or go thrifting is such a fun that's a good idea yeah i think thrifting is a hobby of mine yeah that's fun that's a good one yes i do like to go shopping but sometimes i'm like i don't know if that would you yeah sometimes shopping drains me it does not give me life my mom knows this too she's like okay how many minutes do you have until you're like i'm done i'm like okay i have two stores uh-huh and a snack break you have to get lunch yeah you have to have lunch it'd be really fun if i went shopping like with you guys like that would be really fun oh you guys would be great because i don't have fashion at all not it's nowhere in my bones really i think it was like cute not a single ounce we'll go we'll go shopping with you guys um that's a good one okay this is a big title for it but i'm i promise there's like a purpose for it i called it this one service okay so i think sometimes when i'm in a little bit of a funk i'm like abby all you done is sat here and thought about yourself oh you're sitting here thinking about everything everything about yourself and it's pretty incredible how just you know shifting that mindset to okay let me think about other people in my life now this can be like your friend your mom your sister or you could even do bigger and think of like you know if you want to go and like do service at a like non-profit organization like charity something like that I think both have a place here but like even if you're just like you know my friend is in the hospital and they're like I can't go visit them right now but it'd be really fun if I just like sent them a care package and like spending that time to do something like a little creative and a little thoughtful for someone else it's kind of just like you kind of get out of your own little pity party it's like this pity party is not doing anything for me it's just getting me deeper in this hole but like thinking about someone else and like what you can do and also you can have fun with it and you're not doing it for yourself because you're you're genuinely doing this as a gift for somebody else your time whatever you're giving them like it is for the other person but in turn it's like a little cycle here yeah you're also reminded okay this world there's more people in it than me I can think bigger than myself and my own like small problems or this like little funk I'm in I feel like that's also really good thing to just kind of like yes redirect those thoughts yes it's a good one Abby really good one well I think it's really fun too like we were like oh like I'm putting together a care package for someone and I'm like that is so fun like I'm like genuinely looking forward to like thinking about the things that I'm gonna put in there and like yeah and so I'm like that's actually just like a really fun thing to do and also you don't even feel like spending money on something like that you're kind of just like it's for someone else it's so it's so much easier to do yeah totally I probably wouldn't buy like these fun things and like go ham on a random day for myself but it's really fun to do it for somebody totally I like making cookies and bringing them to the neighbors yeah you're good about that it's just it's so easy and it's fun and yeah it's just helps you get out and then you go talk to your neighbors and you see how they're doing and you check in and it's just like an easy way to get past you're right yourself yeah I love that one thank you great one abs I feel like now mine are kind of dumb I feel like I was thinking through what are my winter scaries my personal self so like the shower and then I'm like okay I want my body to feel good I want my home to feel good and then I want to like my environment to feel good that's great I'm deep clean in my house yeah I am washing the sheets I'm washing the pillows I'm washing the blankets on the couch I'm scrubbing the baseboards I am you know anything that needs to be deep clean getting the grout too no not that one okay I was gonna ask oh first of all I don't clean my baseboards I actually never someone was telling me they were like talking about baseboards I was like did you look at I'm like don't look at mine ever look at my baseboards well I've actually looked at yours and yours are clean oh yeah good yes the house is new enough that it hasn't collected no um but here's my other question what we were just talking about this I was talking about this with an already group of people how often do you wash your sheets a weekly okay yeah me too yes well it didn't used to be that way when I was in college I was a little nasty little piggy I maybe washed my sheets twice a semester but I also didn't know that I was like oh I'm supposed to clean those me too I actually never cleaned I maybe cleaned my apartment once a semester okay you're really clean now I know you know why I wasn't really that clean when we lived in our apartments even when we were married Caleb likes things tidy because he's type a so I learned how to like pick up my stuff and not be such a slob but when we bought our house was when I actually learned how to clean because I felt ownership for the first time over my space and I wanted it to feel clean and now I enjoy it I used to hate it also getting the right tools to clean your house makes a big difference like getting a good vacuum actually doesn't make vacuuming horrible steam things have you seen those um like the spin brushes or like the steam things that goes across the like the corners of your house and stuff yeah you just put water in it but it's hot so it sanitizes I want to get one of those too and I want to get the spin brush that's cool isn't that fun yeah what do you even use that for your like your shower the corners that's let me be honest I have a very clean house don't go in my shower I don't like that type you're going in there to get clean yeah I don't clean like that I do the tidying Blake does the cleaning yeah he just has I don't doesn't bother me it should it didn't bother me until I had a house that I owned because I feel like when it's like oh this is my own money I want this to be nice it feels different than when I was renting I was like whatever yeah that's great advice though because like in the winter you're spending a lot of time inside it's like let's make this peaceful place a piece yeah it's a good one thank you I need to do that okay this is my last one which also I'm like Abby you say this all the time we're sick of hearing it make plans I'm sorry this is the only way I knew how to cope as a child so I would get really in a slump um I shouldn't say this is the one my parents they're amazing they gave me a lot of skills but this was like the main go-to and it's it's like so ingrained in me so like I would get so down after I like I was a theater kid so if a show ended I was used to every day for hours going after straight after school for rehearsals and then spending time with those same people every single day and like I loved everything about it and so when it would end I was just like shocked to just like go home after school and I was in such a slump so my mom's like we gotta just think of like we have to get a plan like so before the show would even end she would make sure we like had a plan for like something to look forward to in the future so this is a great opportunity let's make some plans let's look ahead okay maybe we can't do this right now but let's get something on the calendar for like when springtime comes like let's do this let's peruse travel destinations maybe we're not going to go there but like let's consider it let's you know like we said look at Airbnb look at look at wouldn't it be fun if we went to x y and z let's just get some stuff on the calendar even if it's small but just like let's let's just keep moving forward let's look to the future let's just get get something to be excited about down the line and I feel like it makes those like seasons that feel a little slower it's like it's not forever yeah we've got all these things coming up to look forward to that's exciting so true it's like that excitement you gotta you gotta reignite the buzz yeah and I want to be excited like I want the anticipation uh-huh it's so good and planning something too like that is fun like planning a trip is so exciting that's what I like about you Abby it's like we should make this plan you're like okay let's do it right now we already talked about taking the trip to Flagstaff she's like okay here's the Airbnb everyone down no one wanted to get it they're like I don't even know what you're talking about I'm like we just talked about it we booked it we did book it we're like can we talk about your hibachi Abby you can talk about it Abby I came in the other day and she goes I'm planning a hibachi night and I go that's so fun do you want me to bring our Blackstones Abby goes what and in my head I pictured you behind a Blackstone grill cooking up hibachi for everybody with the hat going like doing the thing and honestly I told her I was like first of all she said I just started wheezing when you said you can bring I could bring my Blackstone I was like I really thought you were doing it that's that's like the confusion I had when Abby asked if we wanted to have if you didn't care if we had the shower together and I'm like I don't I like to shower by myself this is what Abby sent me I made it on the TV this could be my new hobby honestly it's perfect for me a little entertainment aspect make a little onion train I love it get the little boy peeing to take it off yes it's so fun you go catch it in your mouth just shoot a little soy sauce into the mouth literally is it offensive if I do it I don't know I don't know we'll ask the people but we'll ask the people I would be awesome I think if you acknowledge it's cultural appropriation that's all we need just acknowledgement but it'd be so fun I think that'd be a blast I really thought you were planning a themed night where you were going to do that I love that you thought that like Abby's just going to do that well that'll be fun um that alone I'm so excited that I have plans for that me too I'm really looking forward to it now I'm very looking forward to it I've had so many people be like I'm so excited for the hibachi night well also I had a couple friends that are really confused they're like what's he like is it someone's birthday yeah what's the occasion I was like ah it's valentine's day fun bring your spouse like yeah so it's such a fun we should have a talent show we should actually have a talent show we can harmonize wait we should have a family night that it's just everyone it's a talent show family night that'd be fun I think Sadie Robertson's family does that and I think for like Christmas at Christmas time I think they do a talent show or something like that that's fun wait we should save these ideas for um our girls night episode okay my last one this is this I'm gonna go to trader joe's and I'm gonna buy all the fun snacks yes yeah I'm getting all the fun new things I'm getting a bunch of dessert and I'm gonna fill my kitchen with just new and exciting culinary treats yeah that gives me a zest for that gives me a zest that gives me I have a funk I'm gonna make a new dinner I'm gonna look up recipes on tick tock and we're gonna go to trader joe's and just have ourselves a time that's fun we're gonna spend too much money as a date night before we go yeah you go you get an appetizer you get the meal you get the dessert perfect so fun so fun oh yeah that's a good one that inspires me and then they ask you they're like you have any plans for tonight you're like this was our day and they're like the grocery store yeah i'm so excited about it i agree i always have a chatty time at trader joe's do you like that i like when my cashier chats with me some people hate that oh i hear people like that's my worst nightmare when the cashier talks to me i'm like please maybe please break the silence maybe they're in a social job maybe they're not like home with toddlers a lot maybe you're like like you're like i want english and like adult did i ever tell you about the time i went to walmart i was really pregnant and the cashier was like seven o'clock at night i was buying a carton of ice cream that's all i bought and the guy looks at me he goes you got any fun plans tonight and i go i'm just gonna go home and eat my ice cream with my husband he goes and make a baby and i go maybe have a baby i honestly was like so taken aback i think he had word vomit i don't think that's what he meant to say but that that one was awkward i they start telling me about his investments and i said sir that actually sounds like a bad one did you say that no that is so funny yeah i've had good i have had really good conversations with people in the line at walmart in fact actually one time i had a really great conversation with this like 80 year old woman who was buying a lot of yarn so she was in her hobby era cute we love her and i feel inspired by her she bought so much yarn but none of her credit cards were working we had already like had such a good conversation oh dang i bought her yarn i was gonna ask you have to at that point she was literally like trying to find a way i'm like ma'am this makes me so happy that you got yarn now go forward yarn ain't cheap by the way no it's not it's not every time grandma sharon um caleb and matt's grandma so our kids great grandma she makes quilts for all the kids and she started making us yeah she makes all these fun things i love it and i love that she's in a quilting club and i'm like that's honestly goals cute i know one day it's so sweet one day i honestly thought about like should we start a scrapbooking club but then i'm like even the thought of printing pictures is already just like a hard stop for me why does printing getting pictures printed at walgreens feel like such a like a high hard mental task it's so simple they print within an hour you go pick it up but it just feels like a lot i just feel like it's impossible i know the thought of scrapbooking just like yeah my mom used to do with her friends and so it's like that sounds cute and fun but yeah printing pictures printing pictures is a hard stop for me that was our last one that's great hopefully you guys are finding yourself not too deep in the winter scaries but if you got inspired from this episode tell us tell us what you do to get out of the winter scaries honestly i could still use some suggestions yeah maybe these weren't even applicable because we live in the summer we live in the desert now yeah i'm like is this out of touch but i think it's good no i thought you had some good ideas january still is january it's january february is still february totally FX's American Horror Story returns for an unrivaled 13th installment with the iconic horrors you love to fear and an all-star cast reprising fan-favorite roles. All right, should we get into some voicemails? Let's do it. Ask, ask, ask Abby. Hi, Abby. Thanks. Bye. I guess I would wonder by who, like your friends or your parents? It's so hard because it does feel very. It's very vulnerable to be. It's like as a parent, we're just really just trying to figure things out as we go. And none of us know and no one is an expert. So then to feel judged on your decisions does probably feel really hard. And it's hard to feel confident in our decisions too because it's like we don't always know. Yeah. Yeah. Say it with your chest and question yourself in private. I like that. Do you know what I mean? Like if someone, you're with someone and they're questioning, just be like, that's what we do. That's what we do. That's what we do. That's how we're doing it. We're going to try it this way. And then when you're at home with your husband, be like, should we be doing it like this? Yeah. No, I think that's really great advice. But yeah, I don't think, don't question it in front of other people. Just be like, oh yeah, that's what we do. You don't always have to open the door for opinions when you're also trying to figure it out yourself. Right. I think that's great advice. Okay. Yeah. I think that, I think opening the door for opinions is really important because I think that sometimes it's like maybe you unintentionally, I'm not trying to blame you because I don't even know what the situation happens, but I just am speaking from personal experience. There's been times where I'm like, I'm a little bit frustrated at the feedback I got, but I also asked for it. Maybe I didn't think I was asking for it in a moment, but me bringing this up in that context was kind of just like, hey, come on in. Like it was inviting it. So just be careful too. I think that's a great advice. Like just say with your chest, I love the, I love the phrase. That's what we do. That's how we do it. Yeah. And also I think, yeah, I think your, I think confidence is contagious. I also think calm is contagious. Like if you're just like not super reactive and just not, just like, I don't know. I don't know. Just like, I don't know, let it roll off. And I think that most of the things aren't as big of a deal, but yeah. Also consider who the feedback is from. If you're like someone that's like, do I admire them as a parent? If the answer is no, then it's obvious. You just ignore it. Yeah. It's just like, you just let it go. Ah, thanks. Yeah. But it is hard if it's coming from someone like someone you really respect, like maybe your own parent. I could see that being like a much more difficult thing, but obviously ultimately comes down to you and your spouse. Like for sure. You're the ones who made this baby. You gotta, you gotta make those decisions and raising it together. So agreed. Um, yeah, I think that's really good advice. I feel like there's something that I, I feel like when I'm online, this is just, this is kind of a little bit of a different, but I, um, I was gonna talk to you about this. I feel like when I'm online, I don't, I try to avoid like parenting stuff because in my head, I'm like, if I haven't seen the results of these people's kids. Oh yeah. Take their advice sometimes. I don't know. Not that I want to do that. I don't want to talk to you about this, but just like. No, that's a good point. This, this conversation when we're on this like parenting pod, we're not, we're parenting podcasts. Yeah, that's a little odd. According to Apple. But sometimes I see things online. I'm like, oh, that's a good tip. It's like, I want to take things with grains of salt, but then I'm like, wait, these people online, I have no idea if their kids are even, if they even have a relationship with their kids. Also, I fully believe every kid is so different. Totally. Even between like my own two kids, I feel like I parent them a little bit differently, each of them. And so it's like, okay, yeah, maybe someone is like thinking that's not, the best decision that you can make. Also, they have a totally different kid than your kid. And so I think you can have so much confidence in knowing like, you are the person that was chosen to raise your specific kid. And I think that should empower you. You can give you like a unique confidence. Cause it's like, yeah, I mean, I'm constantly reevaluating. Like was, do I think like, that's a good, that's a good check to have in yourself. Like, is this, should we continue this way? Should we kind of redirect in this way? Make these adjustments here and there. That's a good thing to have like that. Those like check-ins, but also like, I just personally feel so much confidence. And like, I was given Griffin. I was given Augie because I am meant to be like their mom. And therefore like no one else is really like as equipped to be Griffin and Augie's mom as I am. So I just feel like that is, that also makes it easier to just like, kind of sift through the feedback. Totally. That's good. Hi guys. My name is Mira and I was wondering what is something that really matters to you when you're a teenager that. Doesn't really matter to you to this day. Thanks guys. Bye. I got a bad advice. One, my grades. Oh yeah. Oh, that's a bad advice. One bad advice, but I got to just say it because I also know that a teenager could be listening to this. That was in my position where you would literally do anything to just make sure that you got an a and everything. And I got to say, I don't feel particularly like that was worth the cost. Sure. Like stressing yourself to the point of exhaustion to get an a. Yeah. I mean, a B is just as great. I got one B my entire life and it was in high school. That's amazing. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. I'm not, no one cares. Now I'm as an adult, you, that was the most praise I've gotten for it. No, it's really not. No, no one knows. No one cares. But like, I was like, so, and I like tried to be casual about it. Like I don't care. What I was straight. It's I never got to be, I got one B and it was my sophomore year of high school in one quarter. Like I'm talking through college. Like I was very studious, I guess. And, and I, here's the thing. I don't know how much I retained of all that. I was just very, very concerned about getting like that grade. And you know what? I don't even need a degree for what I'm doing right now. This is bad advice. I will say your discipline that you practice throughout those years has benefited you greatly in your life. Thank you. Thank you. So I don't know. Yeah. Maybe it's like the grade isn't great, but the discipline that you learned was very important. That is, that is a good, I do think that discipline has served me well. It has served you really well. There are certain times where I'm like, though, that was not worth the stress. Sure. But yeah, I feel like when it came to grades, I was, I always naturally without setting would get a B. So I was fine with just getting a B and I would get the occasional C and I would get the occasional a, and I was like, I'm crushing it. I just, I was, I honestly regret not taking school more seriously at times. Like I kind of just coasted off of my natural abilities. When, if I actually applied myself, I probably would have gotten more A's. Um, and I maybe would have remembered it more. Okay. My, what is something that I thought about that I cared a lot about in high school that I didn't? don't think matters I honestly just think like the social scene of high school and I think I really I've talked about this before I really want to be a part of the party and then you get out of high school and you're like wait there's so many amazing people in the world that I get to be friends with that I get to meet at different opportunities I feel like when you're in school and you're with the same people every day your world feels so small and the drama and the thing like the gossip it feels so big because it is it is all consuming of your life in that season but then you graduate and you never see those people again and I'm not even saying that as like a good or bad thing it's just a fact like you just never see those people again and then your your your world is opened up so much after you graduate and I think that was perspective that I needed I want to give a disclaimer on what you just said actually because I was given that advice was that you're never going to see the people from high school again those things don't really matter things like that so I took that very literally and was like we're not going to be friends after high school so why invest in this I feel really bad about that and like I want to apologize to those friends because I'm not friends with them guess what they're all still friends oh because I because people were telling me that and I really took it to heart I was like I guess I'm not gonna be friends with these people anymore why invest my time into that so disclaimer you don't have to just like cut people off when you graduate oh my gosh I love that you took that so black and white I really did that's a good disclaimer and that's really sweet that you apologize love you guys yeah that's sweet if you're watching there is that aspect I mean yeah I guess just more so like the drama and things is maybe a better clarification hey first of all I just wanted to say I love y'all's podcast y'all are so sweet and super down to earth and it's just exciting to see you guys stepping into this new role so anyway I just wanted to ask what is y'all's favorite meal to make this time of year I'm into Tennessee so it's really cold right now for the time being and just give me like your favorite recipes like warm comfort food but also healthy thank you bye guys she's so cute oh my gosh I wish I had a southern accent I know that was a really sweet message honestly when I hear a southern accent I just feel like I'm getting a hug yes that was and thank you for your encouragement um everyone say with me on three one two three we were together pot roast two pot roast two those are both those are all good both are stellar I have specifically this half-baked harvest soup recipe it's delicious let me look at the name of it on that too it's a creamy chicken Yoki soup creamy chicken Yoki soup it is not even that creamy so don't be just don't be deterred by that it's unbelievable good so flavor so warm cozy it's let's link that to be we will link it um pot roast is honestly it's just a hearty one that sticks to your bones but you feel good when you eat it totally also I thought of I made this like healthier hamburger helper that I've kind of like addicted to it's definitely something you really want to only eat in the warmer months is what I'm saying it's just a comfort meal yeah and um you can sneak some veggies in there it's actually pretty tasty I like your chicken wild rice soup recipe it's good chili of course chili's good oh I've been making a lot of beef and broccoli lately it's very cozy actually because it kind of gets thick with the cornstarch and you know you're getting your veggies your carb and your protein there you go and it's really easy to make and it's flavorful and I love that right now chicken pot pie right now is a go-to Val taught me her easy recipe oh lasagna soup we've had a few friends make that oh add it to your list I can't because Matt doesn't like ricotta I bet there's ricotta in it I don't think you would know okay I'll sneak it in yeah I don't think you would know okay good you can actually just put it on top as a topping so you don't have to add it homeboy has no idea how much cheese he eats I know I love it he hates cheese Matt says he hates cheese but he eats quite a bit of it unknowingly um okay well thank you for asking recipes in just seriously from the bottom of my heart just hearing your voices it just is so rewarding and it's so cool and just thank you for those of you calling can you shout out the phone number so if anyone wants to call in yes with any fun goofy question or a serious one yes 9690 that's the phone number to give us a call I'll say it one more time 602-456-9690 I think it'd be fun too if we write a review close the podcast with a review okay this is from Bree she rated us five stars thank you Bree I love this podcast so much I look forward to listening every week you leave feeling inspired and ready to take on life love how genuine y'all are with some emojis thank you that's so nice thank you for the review thanks guys okay make sure you comment like subscribe all the things join the book club join the book club make some pat roast I don't know okay well thank you and remember we're always here FX's American Horror Story returns for an unrivaled 13th installment with the iconic horrors you love to fear and an all-star cast reprising fan favorite roles light your candles draw your pentagrams and prepare for a supreme surprise FX's American Horror Story 13. now streaming on Hulu this episode is brought to you by Netflix's new series East of Eden a bold reimagining of John Steinbeck's masterpiece following Generations of the Trask family through love betrayal and the choices that shape humanity starring Mike Feist and Christopher Abbott as the Trask brothers and Florence Pugh as Kathy Ames the complex anti-heroine determined to build the life she wants no matter the cost watch East of Eden October 1st only on Netflix