Sebastian Maniscalco

This is episode of Sponsored by Helix Sleep. You go to helixleap.com, you take their sleep quiz, it takes like a minute, are you a back sleeper? Are you a backer side sleeper? - Side. - Same. - Funny you ask, okay? 'Cause I used to be a side sleeper on my life, but the last three weeks, both my sides hurt. I forced a sleeper on my back, and I never could, and I'm doing it now, and the only reason I'm doing it now is because I'm on a Helix mattress. - Also, I've told you about this. Are you putting a pillow under your legs? - No. - I'm telling you, dad. - Put pillows under your legs. It puts pressure off your lower back. - I love Helix mattress. - They will mail the mattress to you. - Aunt Lauren has one. - Right. - Teddy got one. - Teddy got one. - We got one here, and the guest room. - People are loving their Helix. Mark, if you want to try one at your place, you get 120-day money back guarantee. Go to helixleap.com/tyso for 20% off-site-wide. - 20% set-site-wide, that's helix-leap-dad/tyso. - Helixleap.com/tyso for 20% off-site-wide. - You know what I mean. - What's the sign? - Helixleap.com/tyso for 20% off-site. - I wanna make sure that in the next two years, you're willing to do this one more time with me. - Yeah, we love her. (beep) - Bleep that. (laughs) - I mean it. People know where you live. And I know this because every time I (beep) I bleep it. (laughs) Some Joe Shima was pointed out while she's (beep) (laughs) But after, after I come. (laughs) - All right. So I didn't notice this about you. You have a very dry, deadpan sense of humor really works. - Thank you. - To be honest with you, a lot of these biogas, that funny. - And you bring a sense of humor to the biogas that I generally don't see. So kudos to you. - You know what? - Fryman Canyon. (laughs) - Bleep. (laughs) (triumphant music) - We got it. - It's our fashion. This is my cone. - Fashion, I guess we got the couch, my friend. - Before we get started, may I offer you a drink? - No. - I got cold, and warm water. - Oh good, it's nice and nice to have a chair here. - Thank you. - Do I need these or what's up? - Nope. - And every now and then we'd like to do some freestyle or rapping. So you'll need that for the beat. (laughs) - Let me help you see what. - So my therapist doesn't say how are you to me any more when I walk in, because two years ago, I said I think, I don't quite know. It just didn't, what do you want for me? You know, like I'll tell you. And so now I sit down, and the only other time I've ever been in a room with somebody, like my therapist is, it's like you're waiting for me to tell you my trauma before you say anything. - I'm waiting for you to tell me your trauma. Is that what you're saying? - Well, first let me tell you this. When I started this podcast six years ago, I started with a couple of people in mind who I want to have on my podcast at some point. - Okay. - And you were one of them, and it's been six years. - Wow. - So glad you're here. So to give your viewers your listeners a little background of the situation, I know you have reached out to me several times to do this. And I wanted to do it just wasn't available. So now that I have some time, I'm happy to be here. So thank you for inviting me to your podcast studio. You're welcome, dude. - And I have to say, 'cause I don't know you too well. - You don't mean at all. That's okay to say it that way. - Ah, really don't you at all. What is with the colors? - No, the no shoes. Is this side this happen? Is this part of the OC? What's going on? Why am I in my socks? - Do you wear your shoes in your house? - Oh yeah. What's going on underneath the, what is that? - I don't hear you as well as I want. I can't tell if it's a headphone issue. I'm sure we can fix it in a post. But do I cannibalize 60 seconds of being present with you to maybe be happy later? Or do I be like, well, figure it out? And it's like, there's a lot of gain, you know? But there's a lot of dirt on shoes, Sebastian. - Yeah. - There's a lot of dirt and I don't want to bring that in my house. Yes, that's OCD, but I feel like in the Venn diagram are people of OCD and who don't have OCD, I feel like taking your shoes off is in the middle there. Yeah? - I mean, is there a reason there's a blanket on the counter, is that because you don't want any of my germs getting on the blanket when you lay down here to watch the game tonight? - Yeah, that's more on the OCD bubble of the Venn diagram. I don't like outside clothes on my inside stuff. - Okay. - Now not all outside clothes are gross. But if I'm going to police this, where do I draw the line? So I don't know what you were doing. I don't know what you were sitting on. So I just, when I get out of the shower and I sit down to watch the big game or to watch Blacklist, which I'm watching right now, I don't want to have to be like scared of the germs. - Okay. It's also talking about the OCD and the shoes. You know, it often comes up, you know, dog, they go outside. - Wipe his feet, I reach out. - Okay. - Wipe his feet and can I tell you what else I do? - Wipe his butthole. - Wow. - Wow. - Okay. Sometimes I wipe his butthole when he doesn't even go outside. I'm just lonely. - This episode is sponsored by Helix. There's a big trend that a lot of you are sleeping on. I don't sleep on too many trends. But the one trend I do sleep on is a Helix. The one trend I advise you not sleep on. He's going to helixsleep.com/tiso for 20% off site wide. That's helixsleep.com/tiso for 20% off. And don't forget when you go there to tell him we sent you. - Please tell him we sent you because we did. Ricky's on the loose tour folks. Next stop Vegas December 12th and 13th. I'm working on my hour trying to get ready to film my special. If you want to come see me, come to any of these shows here. Arizona and Phoenix. Going to the desert January 9th, 10th and 11th. Houston, Texas, March 26th and 27th and 28th. Please leave right here May 1st and 2nd and the next weekend. The 7th, 8th and 9th I'll be in Irving, which is basically I think kind of like Dallas, Texas. - Dallas, Texas. - Right, I didn't say San Francisco. Super Bowl weekend February 7th. I'm doing two shows at Cobb's Comedy Club. - And the Super Bowl is in San Francisco. So you never know who's going to drop in on Ricky's on the loose tour in San Francisco. - No, I couldn't tell you off of a player. I don't even know what teams it might be. - Well, let's say it's Philadelphia. - Okay. - Yeah. - One of the Philadelphia, maybe AJ Brown's going to want to see Ricky. - Yeah, you never want to give a heads up. I'm trying not to go back to any cities where I've already performed. But if I was only there for one night, like I was in Cobb's earlier this year, I'm going to come and do a weekend. But I want to let you know something. There's going to be a lot of the same material. - It's a great venue, Cobb. - So if you're looking to see a brand new hour, unfortunately, I'm still working on this. I would say it's probably half new anyway. If you don't, it's hysterical. Don't worry about what you saw what you didn't see. Just go see a monitor, do it. And while you're there, buy some merch. I'm moving. I need some furniture. Buy some merch. Go to punchup.live/ricklastman for tickets and to sign up for my email list because I'm adding a whole bunch of new cities. - Whole bunch of new cities. - Next year. And if you want to be notified, I will notify you only if you're within 50 miles of your city or I won't even email you. I'm not going to spam you. I'll let you know. - Come on, Phoenix guys, all around there. Let's go fill those places and have a great show in the desert. Well, that's funny. You know what? I might be there. - Or AJ Brown. - AJ Brown will be in Vegas. - No, I thought you was going to be in San Francisco. - Right. - Right. And by the way, in Vegas, who knows who's going to show up? Who's the famous magician? - David Copperfield. David Copperfield, a big fan of Ricky's Wayne Newton. - Yeah. - Dead. I believe. - I don't think so, Steve. - So that, by the way, that's a sense way into our next segment because Debbie and I are going to be doing a little bit of broadcasting on Ricky's Patreon station. - All right, enjoy Sebastian and his galco. - Yes, enjoy his hysterical. Don't miss his show. Bookie, it's hysterical. He's hysterical. Sebastian, we love you. Take it over. - Do that like a girlfriend or something? - I don't like to talk about my personal life, and that's none of your business. Let's get into it. You got a new special coming out. - And a special coming out on Hulu, November 21st. - And now I get to like, because my podcast is now at a certain level where it's like, oh, it makes sense to promote it. I get to take advantage of watching your special early, having you come over, talk about my dogs. But Sebastian, people go on people's podcasts and they say stuff and they're nice and everything. I would laughed out loud so much from this special. I also didn't have access to it until this morning. Maybe we'll get into it. We have a heart out at two. - Got a family. - Yeah, I know. (laughing) - Too isn't the issue. I just want to make sure we get enough. - Yeah, we're good. - Got to trim the fat. - I do orchids on my podcast, and I was waiting to get my orchids today, right before. for doing this. And I'm laughing out loud in galsons. - Were you listening to just the audio? - No, no. - So you were grocery shopping watching a special? - I grocery shopped. I was waiting for her. I mean, if we had two hours, I'd tell ya. It took longer than I needed to. So I'm sitting there waiting for her to put this together. Headphones. - Oh, gosh, yeah. - And by the way, no one wants to listen to this shit for two hours. - Yeah, it's, you know, what are we gonna talk about? - Clip farming. (laughing) I could give a shit about the full episode. Give me bits. - Bits. - Okay. - Clip farming. - Yeah, I don't know. This podcast has a lot of visual stuff to it. I don't love that people listen to it and not watch it. I feel it's gotta be the same for everyone of your performances. - Yeah, it's better, it's better seen than heard. So it's gotta get the full scope of what's happening. - I mean, I'm a type of comedian where, you know, there's a lot going on on stage. There's a lot of facial expressions, a lot of physical movement that accompany the material. So I'd prefer if people watch it rather than just listen to an audio version of it. - Is it your eighth? - Oh, I think it's my seventh, seventh? I think seven or six. I don't know, six or seven, one or the two. Six, seven. That seems to be a big number too. With the six, seven, my kids are into six, seven. - Yeah. - Why is there a black family next to me on the shelf here? - What is that? - I want a family and I don't know if that's manifesting, but I saw it and I thought to myself, that could be me and I liked it. And I don't want to have to wait. I hate you having this in white. - No, I'm just saying. It's just, I thought it was like a thing, I don't know. - You noticed that? How long before you asked me? How long were you sitting? - I said that and I saw it and then I was. - It's interesting because you know look past it to me just now. You said, by the way, what's he doing here? You know what I mean? So I'm like, were you wait, what made you want? This is a real question because I love your mind. It was at a conscious choice to save it or were you not curious yet? What made you wait to ask me that? - I was waiting for a moment. So you had a lot. - I stored it and I was like, why am I going to say this? And then I felt like if I looked at it and said it, it wasn't going to be the same as if I just said it straight to you. So that was premeditated. - Yeah, you do something else that it's going to seem different but I think it comes from the same place in your brain. You don't finish sentences sometimes because they will. Do you know what I'm talking about? I can't think of an example. I can make something up though. - They meaning the audience? - Yeah, you'll let them finish the sentence. Sometimes you do that, sometimes you don't. Is that a conscious choice? - I'm trying to think of an example of. - Yeah, I would actually love for one for the audience. It was like I think it's more of a trail off than you finish it. It's more of like in lieu of me saying it, if I was to verbalize what I'm doing, it'd be like, you know what I'm saying, right? So instead of saying that, I'll just let them kind of fill in the blank. Then yes, it's conscious and sometimes it's just out of, just pure disgust or passion, what I'm talking about. I feel like it's so clear. - So clear. - So clear sentences. - Yeah, yeah. I struggle with that. I sometimes think like they know what I'm saying. So I don't want to say like the left turn to me is sometimes just going straight. And you do it and by you not finishing it, I think it gets a bigger laugh. So it's just curious if like also how many people were at that venue, where was that? - That was a Chicago United Center, it's about 18,000. - Yeah, it looks like it. I mean, it looks like a, so could you do multiple shows or is that one show? - That was two. So we, I think I, these are basically the second show. I think there's a couple bits from the first show that I enjoyed better that I've sliced in there. But primarily I like to keep it one show because I feel comedy has a momentum. And if you slice in other stuff from other shows, it could be seamless, but I just feel like there's an energy to comedy that if you stop it and put something else in that it loses that momentum. So I try to keep it all one. - Was it two nights? - Two nights. - Is that your biggest special, right? - Yeah, so I was debating, do I do this in, first I had it at the Red Bank Theater in New Jersey. It's like a 1,400 theater. I like specials in a theater. But as you well know, comedy gets stale. - I told you. - More you perform it. The more you perform it. And with a special, you got to hit it when it's like fresh. I felt if I waited another six months to have it in New Jersey, I would have been tired of material. So I said, I kind of scrambled like, "Oh, let's do it at the United Center." Journalist speaking, I don't like a special, I never did it in a arena before, because I'm just the size of it. I think you lose the intimacy of it. However, I felt like the way it turned out, I'm proud of what we did. - So you'd have to wait 16 months. I mean, six months just to do the New Jersey things. You're like, fuck it, let's do it in front of 36,000 people instead of 28, that's easier. - That was easier for me because I felt like I was hitting a stride with the material. I'm like, all right, it feels good. I get it from the performer standpoint, but logistically. - It was a, yeah, the logistics were a little, 'cause we already sold the tickets, and we had to maneuver some of the tickets just for the cameras and whatnot. So we made it happen. Ideally, I would have had it planned way in advance, but I just felt I was going to give a better show in that environment than I was going to give six months later. It's just gonna be stale, it's gonna be boring. So there's a few ways of podcasting. I think at least the way I've discovered, there's conversations, there's just getting silly, there's interviewing and stuff. I want to take advantage of asking you questions the same way I would if you and somebody in my family were friends and you agreed to get a coffee with me. So I don't know if this feels too minutia for you, but I want to ask you some questions that. - I'd rather you ask me questions rather than we sit here and talk about, I'm not into freeform conversation when I come on these things. I'd like people who either have something prepared or there is a question where I could answer. - Would it make you feel more comfortable if? - Every now and then there's some freeform, but instead of just, wait. - Yeah, I mean, we could-- - I can make it look like I'm reading something. - We could freeform. And I could tell where this is going already. - No, you can't. (laughing) Jonathan, bring down the dragons. No, you can't. Oh, and by the way, it was all a ruse. (laughing) That's Sebastian Manescalco, thanks for coming over. (laughing) All right, so I have been doing stand-ups since you were a little kid and I've just never put out a special because it's taken me too long to figure out how to do this. And I am now, I think I'm like, for the first time ever in 18 years or whatever, I'm like, oh, I think I want to do this. And one of the things I'm thinking is what you said is, I think I want to do this, like, I'm ready now. I don't think I'm ready now. I think I will be in a, I want to be right. I think the best version of this is, I'm only now starting to look at all my tapes. I was just doing this for a while and now I'm doing something that I don't want to do. Do you do that? Do you look through your tapes? Do you record this and look through? - I audio record the sets I do at the Commissar Improv and evaluate those, yes. Like, study them or every now and then you listen to what was that thing I said? - Both, I study them and then I go back eight years and I'll play a random one and then I'm like, and I forgot I ended up, let me work that out. - Okay, so there's, there's finding bits that you forgot about and/or premises or ways you delivered something. And then there's doing it to recognize why did my performance work better here? Should I have established this first? So they understand what I'm saying before I trail off. Like when you're doing that one, more like structuring, what do you do? You listen to it and you go, oh that's right and you're remembered for next time. Do you write it down? - I remember it for next time. I, sometimes it's a pacing issue. Sometimes it's like I'm saying these words too fast. Believe it or not, there's sometimes where there's a, with comedy it's very specific. Sometimes you fumble a word and that will screw up the entire bet because what it does for the audience is the few things. Number one, I think they don't think you're prepared. Number two, I think it loses, it's a distraction because the next thing you say, people are thinking about, oh, you flood that word. So it could be something as simple as that. It could also be something and it will take me back to, let's say if I play something for eight years ago, I will remember what I was doing the night before. Or I did the stand up and go, "Oh, that was a fresh bit." That came off very fresh, very organic. That's the way these bits need to come off, opposed to something I've been working on for a while, and then I start to see that it's getting a little tired or weak. So there's a lot of things that I'm looking for. - Sometimes when I'm rain down a joke, I also put a parenthetical of why I thought of that or what I was doing. So I could try and keep it honest. - That's cool. - You do stuff. I can't remember where the example. I think one of them was in this one. Sometimes you yell where it's obviously it's intentional, like you've done it that way before. I think there's something with the universe, pardon me, I'm saying punch times, but you get your teeth fixed before you go to universal and you're so angry about it. Other times where you do something and you're like, and this isn't a literal thing about yelling or not, but making a choice. Are there sometimes you're like, I think this is funnier from angry. I think it's funnier from not angry. And could you do that by listening to your sets and be like, I want to try doing this a certain way? Does that question make sense? - Yeah, the question makes sense. I don't, it's a feeling I feel in the moment that I'm delivering it, whether or not I'm going to whisper it or I'm going to yell it. In that particular joke you're talking about, it's I feel so passionate about having a full set of teeth before you start enjoying your life. So that to me needs to be said with some disdain and aggression. And it's funnier that way. If I yell it or I give it some emphasis rather than just saying it normal, do you ever feel that you're, and I don't mean this term derogatory. I mean, as a, like kindly, you'll schick that you have. Is that word a bad word to you? 'Cause some people don't like that word. I love a schick. - No, no, no. - You're the thing that when people do impressions of you, that thing. Do you ever feel yourself doing that and does it take you out of being present? Like, oh, I'm being me. - Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack makes sense. That is just a, the long or the drawn out, what whether it be the cadence or whatever I'm doing on stage, it's just a exaggerated version of me and I never necessarily think, oh, this is too much. What I do think about, though, is the movement. The movement could get a little too much. You got to contain that. You got to give that in spurts. You can't consistently be animated because then it becomes a little bit more cartoonish. So that I'm conscious of, the, the, that stuff is not, that stuff I have no problem. How do you know too much? Is it too much within like the act? I've been doing it too much or is it a certain bit? My, my, you know, grilling nipples were, I was being too handsy. Like, is it a section? - No, it's, it's a, it's the whole piece, the whole hour and whatever, 15 minutes. I don't look at it as a section. I look at it as an overall. Some, some sections require a lot of physical movement and a lot of animation. Some don't. It's just kind of working out a balance between. - I have a, a bit that is when I was learning. I had my first kiss very late. I mean, at least to my peers, I was almost done with high school before I had my first kiss and I have this bit where I talk about like, some of the stuff, sexual things I learned before I even knew how to kiss a girl. And in my mind, I'm not being dirty. I'm talking about things I learned. But you say certain words for 10 minutes, it becomes sexual, you know? And I, as I'm watching now, I'm realizing that like, oh, I think I have to not, I have to be like more G rated all before that. Otherwise, I just feel dirty. And I don't want to have to, like what you were saying, not be cartoony, but like I'm learning like, oh, you have to do this to make people, to manipulate people in a thinking eye or my performance is something different. So when you're doing it and does it feel uncomfortable? So that's why I think this. And I don't know if I'm projecting this. I don't feel dishonest to what I'm saying. I'm representing myself inaccurately. I just, I'm talking about, I'm talking about the clitoris for eight minutes. And I'm like, I don't need to do the G spot pit, you know? But it's not even about the G spot. It's structurally, it's about all these other things about how I'm learning. So if I don't do this bit, I don't get to pay off these things later. So I'm trying to figure out, do I shorten everything? Do I find a way of making it less sexual? This is why I'm not ready to film it. Like I know what I'm saying. But like, as, now that I'm watching it and I'm more in the audience than when I'm performing, I'm like, I am a little uncomfortable. And it works really well. I mean, at least I feel it's one of my stronger bits. And I'm now at the point that I've never done before where I'm like, if this were a 20 minute set, this is great, this is this 20 minute bit. But doing three 20 minute sets is not the same as doing an hour, obviously. And like, I've never had to think about what I do here, how much it's gonna affect over here. And this isn't exclusive to you, but you're, in my mind, one of the people who I feel that, whether there's an arc or not in your hour, it's all like, it all feeds, it seems like this feeds this, this feeds this, this feeds this. Talking about, you know, going to Habashi and Universal and all the things, it's still like, you're bringing your family someplace. Your wife is driving or not. Like you're bringing your family places. Now we're here when we're with our family. Is that just intuitive for you? How you tell a story or are you conscious of structuring things to where we're establishing this? I'll establish my wife. I'll establish my kids. - Yeah, so what you need to do in your particular instance, I would, because sometimes when you come off, and you come off maybe a little dirty, I'm not saying the clitoris joke is dirty, I don't know the whole joke. But once you set it up, and if this is in the first 20 minutes, you might not want the audience thinking, it's just kind of dirty, it's gonna be a dirty set, 'cause I'm not like, not into that or maybe I'm into that, is there more? So I would just, I would like to take the audience on a journey and the journey has to do with where I play certain bits. So yes, they are strategic. I feel like if I am self-deprecating early on, it informs what those bits are gonna be out after the self-deprecation, because if I didn't make fun of myself and I put those bits in the beginning, like if I put the teeth, you gotta have teeth before you go to a universal in the beginning and I didn't make fun of myself yet, and the audience is like, this guy's an asshole, you know? But he already did 11 minutes of making fun of his bicep, rupturing, he's pissing, mist, he's falling apart. - True, true. - The way I were wound when you said the way, how angry you called mist, dude. I'm just fanning, you're so funny, dude. Special is so good. - Thank you, thank you. - So when you talk about how, and again, I'm saying some of your bits, I mean, that's fine, right? - That's fine. - When you talk about how traditionally a man drives in a woman sits in the passenger seat, and there were no groans, maybe you've experienced them in the past and just in case, but you acknowledge saying traditionally women, relax, I'm not saying something. That is you putting up bumpers for the bit, is that what that is, or is that the point of you that you feel is important to share for you? - Well, I'm referring to traditionally men drive the car when taking out a woman to a woman. - And you say that and it's getting last, but you still made sure to acknowledge the women that feel like in case they misunderstood, you could drive too. - Yeah, that's kind of like a wink and a nod to like the environment we're living today as a comedian and offending, and it's kind of like, even if everybody was having a great time, I would still say that because it's more in the messaging of relax ladies, I'm just saying to me, it's more of like, could you believe I gotta say this, because you might be pissed off at this. It's more of that than anything else. I don't care if women are upset about me saying women or men drive and women don't drive. I'm not, what I'm just saying, I did it in another special where I said Asian guy and it was silence. - Yeah, it was the biggest one. - Yeah, and then I, you know, look at how quiet it got, Asian guy, you know, just to call out some of what the audience might think. - But that felt like a bit, that felt like you, you've experienced that before, so you wrote a bit around the discomfort that you expected them having. - Yeah, that might have come out of, but this and this woman one just felt like nobody cared. - Yeah, but people have cared in the past, so it's just part of the routine. It's a, I would say it regardless, just because I don't know. somebody at home is thinking about it. - Yeah. - You said, "I don't care if women are upset." But then you said, "Well, what if people at home "are thinking about it? "Sounds like you do care." Can you explain the difference? - Well, yeah, I said that and I was like, "Oh, is that kind of a thing of myself?" I'm trying to figure out the. I never really, I never opened the book. I never really thought about it. (laughing) - Okay, oh shit, I never thought about that. I don't know. I said it one night and just became part of the bit, regardless if you're thinking it or not. - Bit aside, that's just like a microcosm of it. I'm saying you, the mindset of, I mean, the confidence that you have on stage and the idea of like, and I've talked about this with friends before, the idea of not caring and how that could benefit you, versus how not caring, cannibalizes your understanding of how you're being received. And like, you have to care. It's just when do you prioritize their feelings over what you want to do? And that's just an example of like, you do one, you would think at least in the art is gonna say whatever they want. And then the craft is to make them receive it a certain way. But like, when do you, I better soften this. I better acknowledge the Asian or the women driving. Like, how do you know when to do that versus something that's not? Is that just based on like, you said the climate of like, you know, the way women and Asians are being treated right now? I was saying that kind of playfully, but, you know, things, people to be, the way you were thinking about them, like, I didn't mean to make it that day. - Yeah, no, I didn't get the sarcasm. Yeah, see you there. - My single came out, believe it or not. With your cartoonish little baboon tits. - No, it's funny, though, it's a funny special. It's just, you know, not honest. Yeah, I mean, a lot of this, I don't dive that deep into it. - Okay, and I'm not gonna force you. I'm like, I said, though, you're one of the comedy brains I want to like ask very intentional questions to. Not them all. - No, no, no. - Right here. - And they're important to me. I mean, I know you're promoting something, so you'll be as honest as you feel you want to be, but where does this special stand to you as far as, how happy you are with it to the other ones? - I'm happy, I last special wasn't that happy with, but this one I'm happy with it. I feel like there's an 11 minute run that I do on my health that is, I really enjoy doing it. I wanted to send it to my parents. - Yeah, I think that resonates with the older, well, how old are you? - 29. - I just say 18 years. I mean, you look, do you die here? Is it not? - I get a gloss sometimes when I'm on film, but no. - That's just, you're dark here. That's really impressive. - Is this you die as hair? - No. - Do you even know him? (laughing) - Who's this guy? - Who's this black family? I would love if you were to pan over, by the way. And there's just a black family sitting here that hasn't been established yet. Or Chinese or a woman. - So can I tell you about Helix Sleep? Just a short story, and this is the truth. My lovely bride and I, after 47 years in this house, we're relocating. We're moving out of Cleveland. We've got a house full of furniture. We've got five beds. We've got so much to take, but you know what we're taking? We're not taking any other beds, but our two Helix sleep mattresses because it's not we're sleeping in any other mattress if you're not sleeping on a Helix. - It's a no-brainer. - You take a two-minute sleep quiz, answer a few questions. You find out what mattress is best for you. They ship it to your door. You try it out risk-free for 100 days. If you don't like the way this mattress feels for whatever reason, send it back risk-free. They pick it up 100 days. That means you could get this rug by Christmas and not have to send it back to after St. Patrick's Day. - Now that's a deal. I don't want to sleep on. Go to helixleap.com/tisow for 20% off your site-wide purchase. - That's helixleap.com/tisow and make sure to enter our show name at checkout so they know we sent you. So tell them you got it, you heard about it in the house and put it in that thing and do it. That's helixleap.com/tisow. - Do it. - This is episode is sponsored by helixleap. - Side. - Same. I've forced the sleep on my back and I never could and I'm doing it now. And the only reason I'm doing it now is because I'm on a helix mattress. Also, I've told you about this, are you putting a pillow under your legs? - No. - I'm telling you dad, put pillows under your legs, it puts pressure off your lower back. - Right. - Teddy got one. - Teddy got one. - We got one here and the guest room. Mark, if you want to try one at your place, you get a 120 day money back guarantee. Go to helixleap.com/tisow. - For 20% off site-wide. - 20% set site-wide. - helixleap.com/tisow for 20% off site-wide. - Do you know what I mean? - What's the site? - helixleap.com/tisow for 20% off site. - I have a lot of grays in my beard and it's sometimes I'm okay with it, but then sometimes I'm like, I don't like I, like I had it. I trimmed right before this because I didn't like all the grays. - Yeah, I don't, I'm trying to remember like, and I remember you from the comedy store and you were in the kind of the, is it the Brent Moran, Chris Delia, Kabal coming up? - It's funny to say Kabal because I'm watching the Blacklist right now and I don't know if you watched, but that's a big part of it. - Oh, we were all in the same show together. - Yeah, but I've only met you once and it was with them at Swingers. - Yeah, but did you come up with those guys? Like as a comedian? - No, I, maybe closer with Brent, but I became friends with Brent later on. I came up with like Santino and Amir Kay, - Oh, okay. - An Estropavitsky, those are the big three. - At the comedy store? - Yeah. - I didn't know Amir Kay was a past at the comedy store 18 years ago. - He's not past, I don't mean beginning past there, I'm not past either. - Are you not like a regular there? - No, I didn't know that. - It's actually my merch. - I'm not past at the comedy store merch. Put it up, take it down. Put it back. - Take it down. (laughs) - And you're like the only comic in LA that I don't know. I sat next to your wife at the beauty salon, yeah. - Yeah, she told me. - Oh, did she? - She says, what were you doing there? Getting a haircut? - Yeah. - What are you trying to catch me for cheating? - No, I was just saying that. - You only get your haircut at a beauty salon. - I know, I know, I know, I know. I used to, yeah, but not anymore. - What happened? - Ironic, my wife was at a, what do you call it? Monster truck event with my son. And there was a kid sitting in front of her that had an unbelievable hairstyle. And she asked the mother, who does your kid's hair? And she's like, here's the guy's number, came to the house to do my son's hair. And I said, you know what, can you do my hair? And I does my hair, so. - Did you pull up in like a really big truck? - No, motorcycle. - Cool. - Very cool. What else? - What else you got there? - What else? So I'm sitting next to your wife, not even knowing it's your wife. Honest to God, I had no idea. And get my haircut and she asks me who some of my favorite comedians are. And I named one comedian and I said, you. And she said, you know, that's his wife. And I fixed my posture immediately with both hands on the wheel, you know? Yeah, then we're talking and then she's like, oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I said, yeah, do I know you? I said, I've messaged him a couple of times. He's been nice. I just, you know, he messaged. He can't go more than twice a year. He can't keep messaging, you know, especially on scene. So I'm like, I'm taking a minute. She's like, I'll ask him and I go, I'd love it, but it has to be coming from you. You know, like I'm not asking, I don't want to be like, I'm not going on the family's door looking for favors here. He's like, no, I'm going to, he'll do it, he'll do it. I'm like, okay, and I thought to myself, when I didn't hear anything after a week from that, I thought, it ain't happening, it ain't happening. But then somebody who works with you knows my podcast and set this up, right? Yeah, it was kind of like the world's collided. She told me, she had mentioned it to me. I said, yes, I owe him, I'm going to do it. I'm just looking for the right time to do it. And then this kind of all happened organically. So the bit that you talk about how you give, like when you're buying stuff and you sign up for stuff, they ask for a lot of personal information. I have a shredder. I shred, I shred mail that is just like direct mail pieces. I don't like giving my name. I have stuff mail to a different name. I'm not Daniel De Lewis. always been this way. That's a little compulsive. Yeah. Not giving your name out. Yeah, well, you don't want to. But what was curious to me is you didn't want to give your daughter's name to the people at Universal and then to let the 18,000 people times to understand the difference. You let I'll tell you guys. Yeah. So you don't you don't care. I mean, I believe you do, but like you make up your own rules. I'm this way too. Like my dog will sit on stuff, but you sit on the blanket. Like you make up our own rules for our own safety. But I'm just curious, what part of that is is honest for you? I that was a joke. I give the names, but that was all a joke. I thought it would be funnier if because I do have a sense of single came. I'm sorry. See you. I mean, I believed you're sorry. You know what? That was a joke. But it's it's it's there's something behind it. I do feel that there's an invasion of privacy and what have you, but I didn't give my face. So it's not just what I would. I would have done that if I wanted to do that, but it's just I I didn't. I believe fake names like they're my names. Okay. I'm constantly given fake names. And I give fake names different places. So I know how it comes back to me. And they're not like I don't call myself Anthony. My name's Rick. I'll sometimes. If I get if I get something, if I get an email or mailed something, you know what? Bleep what that name was. I don't want people guessing it. But like when it comes to that name, like I didn't want you to send this to me. Okay. So you're giving it to. Well, I mean, if it's something important, do you give your full name? Give me an example of something important. If you meeting somebody that I'm going to date. If you're making reservations to a hot restaurant, do you give your full name? No. Where do you come in? Joe Flam? Split the difference. It's inspired, you know? It's got it's got some of the initials. It's got, you know, the simp some syllables. We keep it we keep it close to the Sebastian. If my name were Sebastian, I would maybe, you know, call myself Seb or Sarah. I give a fake name at the Starbucks for the cup. You probably give a real name at a fancy restaurant, though, because it maybe gives you a little some extra. I don't have that. Depends. Depends. But the fake names are generally used for, because I don't want to go through the spelling of my name Sebastian on a cup. You know, you're a Starbucks name. Joe. If you're going to give a fake name, why more than so quick. Yeah. Joey Don. You're a bit from the last special you did of having a reservation. And you're still a little nervous. So you're just checking it. Is it on there? Great. Thank you. I connect so much to it at so many of the things that you talk about seem like neuroses. And as I'm getting to know you, you're just making fun of me. You're just making, you know, I go home, I sit on my blanket, because I don't want it. And then meanwhile, you shoes are on coming all over your house. I mean, you're a fucking mess. But you set yourself up like you're in a suit. I'm missing the old Vegas, you know, meanwhile. Yeah, no, you're giving your name out. And I'm walking around with my shoes on. Jesus. I don't think the shoes the shoes to me. I don't know. I mean, like, I'll be honest with you, right? You're OCD. Thank you. Department does not suggest that. Yeah. You're your ups. Well, like, like, I feel defensive. I'm moving my office from upstairs to downstairs. I'm in the middle of something. I'm getting a new bed. There's a lot of stuff going on. There's a lot of like clutter. So when I thought, show me the clutter, just that alone, the thing I don't, we don't show that stuff. And it's not because it's clutter. It's because it's in your business. I don't want to give people too much access. There's a lot like absolutely. You're right. There's a lot on like care. This thing, if you were so OCD, what this wouldn't stay there. So the goblins, my mask, got people give me stuff out of respect. You know, when somebody gives you a holiday card, you're not going to frame it, but you keep it on the mantle until January, maybe. Yeah. That's my holiday card. But I also agree with you and I am being defensive. I need a more minimalistic approach. I live here. I eat here. I record here. I got sex here. Oh, Jesus. On the blanket. Absolutely. You got your mind. Absolutely on the blanket. And I wash it right after. Just this. I give you another example, what I noticed. I don't know. I don't know. There's a pair of shoes. I think it might be like a sandal downstairs. They're brown. Let me tell you something. McCone, we get at it this out if you need. Those are McCone's. The way he took them off. You would use it as a marshals picking up the socks. I'm McCone. Okay. Yeah, I think you don't even introduce me to the guy. Oh, really? He only counts for a friend. And then he called you the N word. It's white back. Hey, um, uh, uh, the way he kicked his shoes off, one was on a step and the other was backwards. I at least put them this way. Oh, he's trading them out for you. Okay. For us. You're right. It's a fuck. I'm not. I'm not happy here. I'm not. I've been renting the place. The guy wants to sell it. I don't want to move. And it was a good price. I can't yet afford the house. I'm not done. I can't afford the house I want to get. So I'm like, you know what? I'll stay here. And meanwhile, I'm just getting more stuff. I throw away stuff. I donate stuff. I give away stuff. But it is. It's a lot. And there's it's a fucking cave, man. You open that up and you're just watching somebody else watching me. There's no sunlight. I'm trying to get the special out. And I'm picking your brain. I'm a massive fan. I'm a massive fan of yours. And that's not a blanket at statement. I really, really like you. I appreciate it. And I want to clarify this for all the people watching. I'm not poking fun at the place. That's what I am poking fun at is he's so meticulous about the shoes and this and that. I think I thought I was going to walk in here and it's going to be a couch and a chair and two microphones because you don't like it's a warehouse EPK set up or something. And I see this. There's a basketball. There's a Martian. There's a crystal. I mean, there's a lot going on for you to be like OCD. And I thought it'd be just like pristine clean. There's a lot of different types of ways you could be obsessive with things. Okay. You know, sometimes people are messes, but they they tap their nose nine times every time they sneeze. You know, there's lots of different things. I have the ones where it makes me exhausted, but it bothers other people. So I don't know if I benefit much. If I could walk into my house without having to wipe my dogs feet for four minutes every time, I'd be happier. My mom is OCD, but she also puts her toothbrush toothbrush on the sink of a hotel on its side. And I'm thinking this is disgusting, but also the life she's living is she's just a happier woman. Yeah, I think you're right. What you said earlier about we make up our own rules, what works for us and what doesn't work for us and they don't necessarily go inside. Yeah. Yeah. What going? I'd like to defend and apologize my shoe etiquette. Okay. Well, apology could be accepted if you give one, but what are you defending? I was told to get here at 1245 and on the road. Oh, you saved. You saved time. Oh my god. You're safe in time. That's like saying Rick, I was in a rush. So I took a ship, but I didn't have time to wipe. I was told to get a 1245, my ETA was still 45 Rick, but I'm on the road. Can you get here earlier? I was like, I'm on the I can't go fat. I ran a red light. And what did I say? Don't do it again. Yeah, but I told you I wanted to run it anyway. Well, I say stop at the red light, fix your shoes, because now look at this. Now he has a heart out of two. Listen, speaking of time, here's another thing that I thought you being the way you are with the OCD, this would have already happened, but it didn't. Your clock is still an hour ahead. I actually always do that to make sure that I'm on time. So that always says that no, I flew in last night and I thought about the clock. I thought you might mention the clock. I'm not, there's no way you're going to believe me, but I'm not upset about this and I didn't do it. I didn't do it last night. I thought I would do it today and I forgot. Okay. You know, there's two people when I started this podcast that I really wanted to have on because I thought I was just doing comedians. It was you and Bill Burr. Did you have Bill? I have had Bill and Bill talks about the clock, talks about the clock. Dude, what the fuck? Your clock says 10 to 6 right now. What is that part of autism? Yeah. What the fuck is autism, by the way? All I know is you just, I guess we're keeping this in if this is what we're talking about. No, but you can't talk about it. Everybody gets all like, you know, I'm on the spectrum and you're like, all right, well, what does that mean? They get like all fucking mad at you like, you know, I could explain it pretty easily. Okay, shit. Are you sitting down? There are a lot of different character traits. Maybe somebody else has, I don't remember the reason I remember that is because it's in a clip. You talked about the clock like as just being there, the clock at the time was, there were no. The battery had, you know what I'm going to say, that's, you like that kind of stuff. That. Oh, funnier. I was going to say passed away. And he's like, he's like, let's go down the track. You know, Bell, he's just, you know, and, uh, yeah. So great minds. Well, this is so fun here. It's so cool that you're here. Oh, I'm, I'm happy that I'm here. This is actually careful. You know, you know what? A lot of times you're going to podcast, right? And the host talks about himself a lot. And you don't know if you're making fun because we have been talking about me for a while, but you brought it up. No, no, no, no. There's one thing when, when the guests asked the host's questions and they responds, but you've been, you've been primarily focused on your questions, which is great. Is that said me? What is it? Dude, you know what I just realized? Now, you can't think it's stupid. All right. I, I, I, I want, I want to make sure. I want to make sure that in the next two years, you're willing to do this one more time with me. Yeah, we live for a bleep that's not. I mean, people know where you live. And I know this because every time I keep bleep it, some Joe Shreve was pointed out while she's sucking my cock, joking, but after, after I come. All right. I didn't notice this about you. You have a very dry deadpan sense of who it really works. Thank you. You generally don't see that in a podcast. He's dry since a humor. Yeah, that's the way you're doing it. You don't, you don't, to be honest with you, a lot of these bad guests, not funny. And you bring a, you bring a sense of humor to the podcast that I generally don't see. So good as to you. Told you. I don't even like thinking of this as a comedy podcast. And I've said this before because I don't want to have to feel obligated to be funny. Well, you're not, it's natural. It's coming off very, very easy, enough, enough forcing it. That's just a funny guy. So it's not, it's not, it's not coming off as like, oh, I got to be funny right now. You know what? Freeman can bleep. Sometimes I bleep stuff that I don't think bothers me, but like, what if people piece shit together? You know, I've had, I've had somebody come up to me once and knew I got out of a relationship because I didn't speak about my girlfriend for three, for three episodes in a row, which do I always, I don't know. But I'm like, oh, these people are figuring stuff out. All right, I put stuff together. Yeah. What, um, who's your audience? Who we speaking to? It's a, it's a lot of like socially awkward, neurodiverse, like comic book, magic, the gathering card collector, guys, and to be candid with you, a lot of like, just hot women. Hot women and comic collectors. You could just call them fucking losers. What are fucking losers? They would never be able to fuck the type of girls that watch this podcast. But you know, they're kind. A lot of people coming to my shows alone. Yeah, so you're, you're done all mainly male. I, I mean, for, yeah, I don't, this, I don't, I mean, the only thing I know is like looking at YouTube analytics. And it's like, it's like 75% guys. Excuse me, losers. I'm one of you. I'm one of you. I didn't have my first kiss until I was almost 18. Look at me now. Verified without paying for it. But yeah, it's a lot of, it's a lot of, um, I, I think based on comedy podcasts that I've been on and like watching stuff and looking at, if you've only been on this podcast and read the comments, you would be like, wow, the internet's a really nice place. Like the people and, and, and, uh, servers and, and club managers, and maybe they say this to other people too. Um, almost every show they tell me how kind my audiences. It's just a lot of people that are, I think, really intentional. Um, there's a lot of social anxiety with the people that watch this. Uh, we talk about that quite a bit. I think the OCD translates into lots of different ways. Um, and then everybody else despises me. What about you? What's your audience? I skew female, 58% because you have like that romance thing. Yeah, I don't know what it is. It's just 58% where do you get that number? Oh, there's a lot of research. Look how to research research. It's just a lot of deep dives, analytics and you don't want to, you don't want to bore me with it. It's the numbers. I'm saying like what, like watching your, your specials, they know it or is it like coming to your shows? Take it buyers. Get the same thing. Very polite audience. Very nice. Typically people that don't go out a lot, they, they're gonna go out. They're gonna make it worth it. I feel like when you get to a level that you're at, it's hard to find a specific demo. Like there's got to be so many people that no, I mean, it's, it's generally speaking when I look out into the audience, I feel like I'm performing for people that I would hang out with. You strike me as somebody who doesn't like hanging out with people. Uh, that seems to be the consensus. However, I am social. It's just that I'm actively seeking social interactions. When the eight-year-old kid is rude to you and asks you for a burger and you, would you say, go to sleep or something? What do you say? He has something like my grandpa would have said to me. Get the fuck away from me. I don't even like your parents. Yeah. But yeah, being a parent and seeing how people parent is a little off-putting for me, just like Bill Burr's old dads. Now streaming on Nutflix. Let me see. Let me see. You might want to get him checked or at least put a little neosporn on or something. That thing could get infected. Oh yeah, are you a doctor? You're just like one of those WebMD guys. This is common knowledge. You want to keep it cut clean? Oh, is it? Well, listen, I'm trying to raise a little man here and not a fucking pussy. So I appreciate your concern. But why don't you just go back to your hard sell center? Old dads, yeah, similar to that were just older for like, I'm about 10 to 15 years older than the guys at school, the dads at school. They're like, I'm 52. They're like, they're mid 23 years older than me. Yeah, 23, 23, 29. Yeah. Did you always want kids? No. I want kids. You should have them. You should definitely have kids. I would recommend having a family. It would change this whole thing. Getting a dog. Forget the dog. Let me finish my sentence. He's locked upstairs. At least let me talk about him. Get asked me what percentage of people make me lock my dog upstairs. First of all, I never made you. I'm just I'm bullying for fun. I'm bullying for fun. You didn't. I did tell you to before I came in here. I have offered you offered. I said, I have a dog and someone operating the camera. Would you like me to ask either of them to wait in my room? And I thought when you said, to be honest with you, I thought you were going to make the joke, but you're like the dog. Also, something else I noticed that I clocked and maybe I'm going to think now, you forgot to take your shoes off when you were coming up, which is fine. You're not a shoes off household. But the fact that you forgot to take it off made me realize that you weren't setting expectations of what this would be. So when you said, I thought I would come in here and everything would be immaculate and just two chairs and microphones. You weren't thinking about that because you didn't even remember that I wanted you to take your shoes off. So I guess my question for you is what else are you lying about? I thought I didn't know the shoes started at the door. I thought I'm off on the couch. Yeah, I thought like when you get into the vicinity of the microphone, then we start losing shoes. The reason I was excited to take my shoes off at the front, the front didn't look like it was something that was in the place where I needed to take my shoes off. I'm moving my office around, blah, blah, blah. I will admit that right there has just been, I don't live here. It's is what it is. And then when I bought the place, I'm like, I want to get a thing. I want to do a thing. But I haven't even fixed the clock. But I hear you on that. It's interesting that you say that because of course, in my head, you take your shoes off at the door because you don't want to track stuff in. It's not like you take, you take a shower, you take your clothes off right before the shower. Yeah, I didn't know what we were going up to. I didn't know like if we entered and that was like the common area and then we were going to walk up to another door and then we had to come in and it was going to be like time on this. I'm sorry. I did. There's a lot of things that were going to my head. I tell you to be honest with you, I forgot about the shoe. I was going to bring slippers here. Salvo Kano brings slippers to every hotel he goes to. He brings his own. Yeah, I've done that. It's just it's not. But we only stay in places and have slippers. Let's be real. You and I stay in the same hotels. I bet you we do probably just I just lose money on my weekends. That's the only way I travel. Listen, here's a story. I used to play like the Denver Improv. and they used to put you up. Do you play Denver in Prague? - No, what did I do in Denver? I was just there. It wasn't the improv. - Oh, sorry, it's comedy works. - Comedy works, yeah. - Did you stay in the condo? Okay. - No. - Never? - I, no. I can't. - You can't stay in the condo. - You ever got a little hoya stay in the condo? - No. - That was young. - I was 14. (laughing) It was 15 years ago. I don't stay in condos. I mean, I don't want to stay in the condo. I want it, I, go ahead. You tell 'em what you were gonna say something. I don't want it, I have to. - So what I would do was I say, give me the buyout, give me the 250 that you spend out at a hotel, and I go and take out of the 1500 I was getting for the week or whatever it was, and I would go get a nice hotel buddy, right? This is, yes. - Yes. - And what's your theory on it, other than you don't want to stay in the condo? - I know what it is. - What is it? - Well, there's also, there's me appreciating and wanting and liking and doing, right? But that's, that's, I could, I could talk to myself out of that for the money. I think I, for years, was not touring because I couldn't sell tickets to where it made sense. I mean, I'm not gonna drive seven hours and stay in a, the thing to, I'm not, I don't know. I put my efforts in writing stuff and building this podcast and doing other things. Now with this podcast, I'm able to now sell tickets and people wanna come see me perform it. I'm so grateful and that's awesome. I would resent it if I were going and packing and doing, I have, I have, I have a bag just for skincare stuff. I have so many, I bring my own pillow. I have so many things. So the way I like to think of it is, I don't wanna have to like go to work and bring all this stuff. I wanna go on vacation and while I'm there, I love doing comedy. I'll do some shows. It'll pay for my trip. That's like the way I see it. And that's how it makes me make sense when I look at how much I'm spending on the airfare and the whole, I mean, it's dude. Really, we stay at the same, we, we travel the same. And you, you know, decided, you know what? I don't wanna wait six months. Let me sell 36,000 tickets instead. You know, I'm not doing that. I'm grateful for the fucking nerds and hot chicks that come into my show, but it ain't that many. - What's fascinating to me is that you're traveling with your own separate skincare bag. Now, let me break down your routine. Do you use doubles? - What? - I was guessing, go ahead. - Body lotion? - I'll use the, I say hotels that I trust are body lotion. - I don't bring body lotion. - Okay, so what do you, do you bring your own shampoo? - I use to, I'm now cool. I use to bring my own conditioner. I'm fine with whatever shampoo. - Okay. - Do you wear a cologne? - No. - It's 2025, friend. - Oh God. - You know, maybe the issue with your cock being inverted is a hormone balance. - Do you wear cologne because there's chemicals in it or you don't wear cologne because all of it, it smells nauseated to me. I used to sell, my mom sells perfume at Macy's in Dallas. So I used to do that every summer. And it was just, it's literal poison. It's literal poison. Now, listen, if you're going to, if you require it and you mist and walk through, but like, I've, I remember, I don't wanna give too many details, but I've been with a, who became a girlfriend and we were fooling around. - It's getting uncomfortable. And it was early on in the relationship and I thought to myself, I can't keep kissing her. I also know if I tell her about the perfume, it might affect her confidence or she might see me as who I actually am. And I don't wanna do that yet, I think. And I had to figure out a way of letting her know. So when I, I'm difficult, but like, I'll go on dates with people and on a second date, I'll ask them to just be a little bit more intentional with their fragrance. I don't think don't wear it. But I say, I'm very sensitive to smells and I was wondering if there's any way that, if you could just maybe walk through the mist instead of putting it on each ear. - And what's the response? They throw up at how gross I was. Now they suck my cock and they suck my cock and stuff. But like, yeah, I don't wear perfume. You do. - Yeah, I've always. - Didn't you have a bit a while ago about mist? - Yeah, what was it? Are you a mystery or are you not a mist? - I have become more of a, I'm almost bathing in it. - What are you over compensating for? - No, I'm over compensating. It's, and I'm actually wearing two different calones, one here and then a different one on the back of the neck. So you get like, - So when you walk in, people know, but when you leave, they know like. - It's like two, it's like one cent common, one cent gone, it's like, what the fuck? - It's just a lot going on with cents for me. I feel like a cent is almost like, you knew I was there. - You know what I'm saying? - Do you think people that know you well enough, like let's say I'm eating a meal and I'm really enjoying it. And then I smell Sebastian. Do you think I could say, "Who's Sebastian's coming in?" Or do you think I'd be like, "Smells like Sebastian's leaving." (laughing) Do you think somebody could do that? - No, because it's different every time. I don't have a signature cent. - Right now I'm switching it up so much that it's like, it could be one day and another day. - All these comics are doing whiskies and more power to 'em. Have you thought about having a signature cent and calling it Sebastian's signature cent? - No, this is SS. - No, I haven't thought about having anything. 'Cause this is the pressure I think a lot of comedians face is like, oh, I'm doing stand up. Now I have to get my own underwear line where I have to get my own vodka or tequila or wine or whatever the thing is, right? Not to say I wouldn't entertain if something that came along I felt passionate about. But I mean, I'm sure you see on Instagram and you scroll it and you see, hey, come get my new, you know, whatever, burrito. - I don't know, I haven't said. I thought I knew what you're gonna say. (laughing) - Burrito, you know, it's not a bad idea. (laughing) - Burrito. But yeah, no, I just like doing stand up comedy. It's just kind of my deal. I mean, if I could do stand up comedy the rest of my life, I think I'd be happy. - Yeah. There's a gray area that for me were like, I say, and pardon, this sounds pretentious. I mean, this literally, but like, I love the art of this. And I love thinking about stuff and trying performances and like being as efficient as I can with it while also allowing myself to feel as free as I can with it. But then, at least for me, because my audiences aren't, they're not, you know, I just play comedy clubs. I meet people after I do like pictures and stuff like that. And I do that because I want to. I really do like, I sometimes, I always, I think I always, at least I usually unconscious and feeling grateful that people wanted to come to the shows. I sometimes, even if I think it's going well, I feel like I'm so sorry. Like, I'm so, like, why are you listening to this? And I'm not even judging me. I'm, maybe I'm judging, maybe I'm judging them. I can't, oh, like, I don't know. I haven't really thought about it. It just feels weird. Like, hey, I'll tell you some stuff. Give me 35 bucks. It's fucking weird. You know, it's weird. I am on the streets begging people to listen to my bits. But give me 35 dollars. You already like me. I just think it's weird. So I want to be like, if you want to take pictures with me, let's do that. But also, like, it takes 45 minutes and it drains my battery. Like, it took an hour and a half, you know? And like, I just want to do the standup. I want to then go back and listen to it. But there's more to it. And I haven't decided that I don't want to do the other things. But I do know that it takes away from this. Do you connect with that at all? Do you understand that? Or are you somebody that just, I'm going to do what I want to do? That's it. I'm not going to sell burritos, you know? But like, even when you were, when you were, you know, I don't want to say necessarily even coming up. But like, before you were this, what was that, by the way? I've heard so many stories about you when you were first starting out the comedy store. People would say, it's also a bastion. It always made me feel good. Because people, I guess, used to make fun of you. So that you were too weird or too big or something. Do you know this? Or people saying this shit and you don't remember and never knew where they're lined? Because people say, Sebastian, you're just voices and big and weird and like, he didn't figure it out. And then something happened and he got it. Yeah. People thought you were a piece of fucking shit, dude, for real. The smelly motherfucker, both ways, different sense, never the same. What, what, what was this big, big? Would you say big, he was big? I don't remember what people say. I've heard lots of stories. And I, the way I saw it, maybe because I was, I'm so big, I just picked your, maybe that's what he was. But it was like, that's how I pictured it. They're like, you were just big act doubts and voices and like, it wasn't working. - It's so funny, 'cause I'm sitting there going, "Fuck, I'm, I'm really cooking now." - Yeah, I connected with that too, but I believe, I have to believe everybody. - Well, I mean, who, I mean, it depends on who this is coming from. I mean, I know when I first started, shit, I was wearing, I was finding my way. I'm not saying that I was good at comedy from the get-go. I wasn't. [BLANK_AUDIO] wearing at one point, I was wearing a snake. I wore a snake skin see through shirt on stage, right? Right, that don't. 'Cause I was trying to like, oh. - Do you have pictures of that that I could put up? - No. - Fuck. Anyway, I was just trying different things, just to like stand out or whatnot, trying to find my persona or whatnot. But I never thought that it was bad. I just thought it needed work. - Yeah, it was bad. So then years later, you figured it out and you stopped wearing the stupid clothes. Are you taking pictures? Am I taking pictures with you? - Were you taking pictures? Like, were you meeting people or be greats? - That's all I was doing. After everybody left, I felt like I was inviting people to my home, where if you were gonna come and see me, - That's such a nicer way of looking at, I get that. Yes. Sorry. That's such a nice way of looking. - If I'm gonna, you're gonna come to my house for dinner. At the end of the night, I'm not gonna say, take care. - Right. Walk you to the door, open the door. Thanks for coming out. Same thing with the comedy. Coming to show, I'm gonna be at the door, greeting you. Thank you for coming. I really appreciate it. I want a bit of that, but you're, that, that, that does sign a DVD. You gotta think, everybody for coming. That's, that's the key in my regards to the success of establishing a fan base. Did you make that personal connection with the people? And they feel like they know you a little bit. They go home and they tell their neighbor, they gotta come see this guy. He felt like he grew up in our neighborhood, that's thin. And they bring four more people. When somebody comes and they, like they let me know, I can see they're wearing like something of mine or something. Or like they come and they, they brought their, their boyfriend or their girlfriend or friends or cousins or whatever. That, that is like, I just saw a, a clip of you with Justin Bieber talking about when somebody gives you a compliment and instead of saying thank you, it's, what does he say? I appreciate you saying that. Yeah, there's like some things that are flattering and compliments that whether or not I accept this, I believe you feel that way. So that feels nice. And then there are some where it's like, whoa, that feels nice. And when somebody brings somebody to a show, I also feel like what a fucking, like, you know, you weren't recommending, you know, we're out of time. Is that you? Yeah. Well, I feel it. What, what happened? You didn't hear that? I, I felt a, I thought it was your stomach crawling. It was my stomach. I'm sorry. So I know this is probably not your brand. Mark this moment, I shit on people all the time. We animate it. I'm going to lift my legs. I'm going to yell. You could, yes, and me or not. But I would love if you would pretend that I'm shitting on you. Could you do that for me? We're going to edit this part out. I know this sounds crazy. You've never seen my podcast. I'm telling you, it's smart. Okay, so we, so we went to his face. We're going to come back to me. I'm going to lift my legs in the air. I'm going to yell. There's going to be shit that's going all over the place. You're going to feel like this. Okay. You know what? I'm going to do something I've never done before. Keep that in. I'm not going to do it. I don't think you want me to shit on you. Yeah, no, it, it, uh, I'm doing it. It's just a little, just that one little thing so people get it. Just that, just that, just that. It was a second. Okay? I don't even remember what we were saying. I was saying something in my stomach gargled. Anyway, funny stuff, man. All right. We got to hard out. I got a hard out of. I've always wanted to meet you. We got four more minutes. What else? We could end it. Dude, this is so cool. No, I feel like we got this. It's going to be something else. You got to do a big, a big thing. Oh, but I think that I wanted to ask of you. So you're, uh, with the actual question, what do you do now when it's so big and you want to meet people? How do you give them that? Walk to the door. Uh, I mean, it's hard. I, what I do now is I like to meet people that are going through a tough time. So if I get an email, hey, mother died, or hey, going through stage five cancer, stage four, whatever, whatever they're going through, I like to meet those, those people. Those, that's what I've done now. It's like a meet and greet backstage with somebody who's going through a tough time. That's my, uh, 'cause you know what? You know, we do comedy. And you don't even know who's on the other end. You don't know who's receiving this today. Could be someone at their house just lost the pet. Someone just got diagnosed with, uh, you know, cancer. What have you? They're coming to you. They're coming to me to forget about it, right? But you don't know. You don't know what's going on on the other end of this camera. Or somebody's sitting in front row, somebody's sitting in front row. And they're going through a tough time. And you could tell if somebody is in the front row that they're going through a tough time. I don't know, can you? Yeah, 'cause when they laugh, they laugh like this. (laughing) (laughing) There's a resolve that happens faster. If everybody laughs, fades to a smile, and there's fades to like, give me another hit. That's where I invite them back. And I say, hook up, if it's a hot chick, I'll hook up with you. And if it's a dorky guy, I'll force a hot chick to hook up with them. (laughing) No, I'm just joking, I'm just joking, I'm just joking. That's nice. Yeah. So that's, that's nice. What do you do for people who like, they're sitting there, they're hanging out, they have a house guest, and that house guest made them put their pet in a room or something? (laughing) Not, and I have no problem with it. Um, you did not do that, by the way. I mean, I offered it and he didn't even need me to. I have two dogs. And I'm not, to be honest with you, I'm not really a pet guy. That's why you whispered, you want me to edit that out? No, no, no, I'm not really, I mean, I'm just saying, I have a hard time dealing with two animals at the house. I had never owned pets before. So it's just, I don't know. I thought I would have had a third child if I knew it was going to be this much work. I would rather be a pet. As in instead of two dogs. Yeah. We were debating whether or not I have a third kid. And I'm like, yeah, you know, older, you know, I think we're good, and we've got two dogs, and I wish we would have had a third kid. I have a third kid. Get rid of the dogs. Dogs are there to stay. Can't get rid of them. Do you ever cuddle? Do you ever, do you get joy from them? Yeah, it's like I'm an asshole. It's, I have a thing called misophonia. Buddy, who are you telling? You think the perfume's bad. I have a, I have something with my dad now, because he, I mean, I have surprised you haven't heard my dad chew. I go, dad, because I can't tell him about the chewing stuff because it sets my mom too much because she thinks I'm being, I'm so sorry, you were saying. So, so you have this? Yeah. When people drink on this podcast, drink. We have a sound effect of gulps, so people don't have to hear it. So, when you say to other people that you have this condition. You have this conversation. Do you get, oh, come on, you know. Yes, I don't make it as, I don't make it as clinical as that. I don't say there's something I need to talk to you about. I have a condition, spit your fucking gum out. You know, I more say, I make it more about like, hey, I'm a fucking loser and I can't handle sounds and smells. Could you close your mouth when you chew or we'll take two cars? And yes, there are people, John Michael, who's editing this now, Tom Bates, who made the shit animation happen. Tom and I both have messaphonia. John Michael doesn't. And when he had a conversation, he goes, yeah, I get you know, like, but who gives a shit? Like they throw it away. It's like, to be honest with you, it's not the same stakes, but it's, it's kind of like how, how white people, when a black friend tells them that like, when they go into a convenience store and they're being watched, they're like, whatever, they're probably just checking out what your clothes are. You don't know, you don't know. I know what it's like to be black. (laughing) Look at my family. (laughing) Good work around. It's call back. It's call back. But see if I, but if I said clitoris too soon. (laughing) Did I shit, you know, that's why you wait to shit to the end. Tell me about your messaphonia and then I'll let you leave. So it's, well, the dog, the barking goes right through me. The barking is, is, I hone in on it. Like, I don't know how you are with the airplanes. Like, I'll be on an airplane and I'll hear the can crack open, seven up, right? That rash down my body. Even though you know it's already open, like if it keeps happening, but it happens once. Have it once, it's startling. Chips, bag, the people eating, particularly my wife, she, the way she choose, will you tell how do you, does she help you? Does she try and do better? No, it's like this, this is how I choose. So the chip is a complicated one. There's two things. There's the sound of the chip breaking, the chewing. Excuse me. And then there's the excessive, like some people drink a chip and it's just the moisture and the noises and the slapping. So to me, if like, if you break a chip and that's what it sounds like for chewing, it doesn't bother me the same way as if I'm hearing sounds that I'm not gonna do, but you know what I'm talking about, yeah. The crunch, just the noise bothers you. Yes, you got it worse than me. Noise, yeah. But I think it's a, I think it helps my comedy, yeah. And I have a book about how to deal with it. And I don't know if I want to read the book because I feel if I figure out the misophony of them, I can be funny anymore. That sounds like people that I know that are depressed and they think that's what makes their art good. I think that if you could empathize with that feeling and still have tools to deal with it, it's not gonna get in the way of your point of view. I feel like the reason I hone in on certain things is because I have this misophonia. Like, there's a reason I have it. Your heightened sensitivity you're saying. Yeah, heightened sensitivity, what's around me, what's going on, how people react, how people behave. I'd like to challenge you on something that I put just thought. into this moment. That whatever, the whatever way your brain is wired, that lets you notice things, misophonia is a symptom of that versus misophonia allowing you to have the superpower. Like if Daredevil wasn't blind, he wouldn't be able to hear all the stuff. We got to go. No, my no, my stomach just keeps doing that. The misophonia thing has been an obstacle for me. Like I don't go to dinners. When my family eats, I sit in another room and that's how to do that. Yeah, you're a suit, you're a polish. I'm 29 years old and this was dinner when I was years ago. I've been I'm in the mindset of like I want to be able to not make my burden other people's and I've found ways of doing that. You know, like this is what I want. This is how other people live. I have made my way and I'm continuing to make my way this way, but the chewing one is one where it's like like you said with it's like sometimes something will happen. It's not just the noise, but I'm now in a bad fucking mood. What do you what did you just do to me? And I know logically, they didn't do it to me, but get the fuck out of here. So anyway, maybe I'm speaking to myself. Maybe you'll let me know what this book is. I'll send it to you. Do you ever get a gift? Have I ever gotten a gift? Yeah, do you ever get a little gift from a guest to send you something? You know what? Only when it's their thing they're promoting. No, you're going to get a miscellaneous book in the mail in three days. Okay, tell them how to ring the doorbell. All right, well, we already plugged your thing. I don't remember the date, but I think of November 21st. Thank you. Put the comic book down. You know what? It's actually right. So it came out last week. It came out. It's out now on Hulu. And I don't say this. I'm not a big pun guy. I am the rapper. I don't like making them, but I will say that it is hilarious. Smash them in a scale. Thank you so much for coming over. This is so fucking cool, dude. Thank you for that. I'm going to take a pull already you and then I'll let you go. Cool theme music. So you know how you did your special six months earlier because it felt fresh. Yeah, the way you did three, two, one. I understand it one, three, two, one, but we had an organic laugh. Take it that. All right, let's say. Scooby. Oh, yeah.