Schulz has a NEW BABY + Why your Girlfriend Loves Gay Hockey Shows

>> Well, it's not everybody and welcome to flagrants, okay, happy new year. Sorry for the weak delay. Some of you guys probably know the news. We had a delay. We're on delay. >> We equal. >> The fuck up. Come on. >> I'm out of here. >> I'm out of here. >> Jump on. >> He's having fun. He's riffing. >> He's having it now. >> All right now. >> All right now. >> You do the intro and we're just going to wait patiently for you to speak perfectly for the next 30 seconds. >> You got it. >> Yeah, you got it. >> Now the pressure's on. >> Wake up. >> Got it. >> No. >> Got it. >> We got it. >> That's re-tarred. >> That's re-tarred. >> That's re-tarred. >> That's re-tarred. >> Ali's re-tarred. >> Ali's re-tarred. >> All right. >> He's absolutely. >> He's absolutely. >> Come on. >> He's absolutely. >> I see everybody. Welcome to flagrants, boys. Showed to you. I'm here at our costume. >> Here. >> Alex Media, Markey Gags. >> What's up? >> And to listen. >> Yeah. >> That's very much. And that's why we were delayed a week. But now we're back to work. My wife is just slaving away the house with two kids. And it is what it is. >> Helly. >> That is life now. >> How has this affected you? >> I've been playing paddle every single day. >> It is amazing how I'm affected. And it's starting to eat away at my wife. But she's busy with the kids. She can't really complain. >> I don't want too many cooks in the house. There's already another person in there. There's a new baby. You don't want to be in there crowded up. >> Exactly. And we have a team of Trinidadian specialists that are helping to get a kid. >> Yeah. >> My daughter, 100% I was telling you guys this in groups. My 100% has a Trinidad accent. >> 100%. >> That's awesome. >> That's awesome. >> It's not even would be. >> It is. >> She doesn't speak like a white person. >> That's awesome. >> She is 100% true. >> I don't want to let them die. >> I need to see this. >> It is. >> It is. >> Fada. >> Fada. >> You love me, Fada. >> Fada. Take me to a cocoon. Fada. >> I want to read the book about the cooga. >> Every morning. >> What is funny about this is my wife is a stay at home mom. So what language is she speaking to my daughter? >> All your wife talks to you is Trinidadian. She probably get that accent too. >> And my wife's dad was raising Trinidad. >> There you go. >> So we got to keep it real. >> It's in there. >> Yeah. >> Trinidadian family. >> I'm basically raising Trinidadian family. >> Yeah. >> Damn right. >> Damn right. >> And then what did they talk to you? But when it's just them, when it's just them, they're just getting after. >> 100%. >> That's cool guy in it up. >> That's great. But you always want bilingual kids. >> Exactly dude. >> It's going to help with job opportunities. >> Man, the first time. >> Yeah. >> What job do you think they'll be able to get? >> Yeah. >> Like a food job. >> You can probably take over something like that. I don't know. >> Make a mean, be fatty. >> Yeah. >> I play soccer better. Probably it helps. Apparently they got the best protein Trinidadian. >> You know, I can believe that. The best parata, parata is in Malaysia. >> Yeah. >> So. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> That I've had. >> Oh, yeah, that's right. There's a lot of Indians out there. >> Yeah, yeah. >> The Best Teacum Salad in England. >> Yeah. Because that's an English dish. >> But what's the best Indian food from India? >> Mumbai got, yeah, it should crack softer. That should crack softer. >> Where were you going to say right there? >> What? >> I know. >> Yeah. >> I was just asking. >> Yeah. >> Were you going to talk about the feets, dude? >> Whoa! >> That's racist. >> That's my racist comment. >> They make it? It's all right. >> No, I don't know. >> They don't all use their feet. >> No, I'm saying there's one person. What are you making a racist comment? >> You're making a racist comment. >> One guy, all Indians only use their feet. >> No. >> They use their armpits, dude. >> It's a type of food from one guy. >> That's shit when he takes the fucking non. >> Oh, yeah, I know. >> And I know it's AI, right? >> No. >> Automatic Indians. >> Yeah. >> Exactly. >> That's right. >> Councilor on this. >> Anyway, how was your guys? >> Yeah, the first time he had a baby. Remember, there was like a 20-minute story. This time, it's sick and every had a baby. He had the group chat like, "Hey, so what's going on with Maduro?" >> I think I might have done that while the C-section was at. >> Son. >> I might have sent out a text during the C-section. >> I've never seen a person drop off in enthusiasm. >> Yo, it's not mine. It's y'all's enthusiasm. I don't even know if you guys congratulated me. >> We did. >> Come on, everybody. >> I had to send a text to the group chat like, "Yo, I have a child now." I said, "Yo, I have a child now." And I think you might have just hearted it. >> I don't think I got a phone call from him for the last thing I had. >> No, I got your gendered. >> You're kidding me. >> I got your fake compliment to my kid. He was like, "Oh my gosh, she's beautiful." I go, he said, "He goes and I'll hand some son of a gun." >> I didn't know you'd have done that. >> That's the last time I spoke to him. >> Since I had a kid, that's the last time I spoke to him. >> I asked to see you New Year's Eve in response. >> Just New Year's Eve. >> I just had a child. >> I thought you would hang on to a New Year's Eve when I got a new baby. >> That's the timeline. >> Come on, bro. >> You didn't even have a child. >> You didn't even have a baby. >> No. >> Oh shit, my bad. >> My last New Year's Eve. >> No way, so far. >> Yeah. >> Come on. >> Man, I asked the baby's name in response. I found out via IG. >> We didn't know the name until very late. >> That's kind of fun. >> Why? >> We did a last minute leave the hospital because we were debating between two. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. >> Can you share? >> Yes. >> There's Lincoln, Lincoln Lawrence Schultz. >> Mm-hm. >> Nick Fuentes, Lawrence Schultz. >> No, shoot it too. >> And then we went with Lincoln. >> We went with Lincoln. >> The other Republican. >> The second best leader in American history. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> No, Lincoln's great. >> Great name. >> Love it. >> Love it. >> Love it. >> I love the name Jones. >> Mm-hm. >> Love it. >> First name? >> Love it. >> First name. >> Yeah. >> Never heard of it. >> That's a first name. >> That's cool. >> We'll attempt to say with Schultz. Jones. Schultz. >> Yeah. >> But Lincoln is like, my brother's middle name is Lincoln. >> Yeah. >> My dad's name is Lawrence. So it's basically, and then Emma's like, grandma's middle name is Lincoln too. >> Oh, really? >> Also, then your dad love Abraham Lincoln. >> Yeah. >> It's the biggest. That's why he named my brother after him. >> Oh, so you won. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> That's what happened. >> Yeah. >> So little she could do after she carried him. >> That's what I'm gonna name it. >> I'm like, I'm barely got to spend any time with that baby. >> I know, dude. >> You got no way. Your paddle so often, probably. >> I know, dude. I'm taking her to the hospital. >> Hey, hey, hey, hey. >> Was this go round to the hospital? Was it normal? >> No. Every single time it's absolutely terrible. >> No. >> I think because it's scheduled C-section. >> Right. >> So it's like, and in my mind, this is the same thing we're trying to imagine. You guys were thinking, you go in, nom it up, cut a hole. >> Cut a hole on Zip. >> Take out the baby. Done. >> Yeah. >> And zip it back up. >> Zip it back up, yes. >> Of course. >> And this one, that's kind of like what you think was happening. There's this like curtain down. All of a sudden I see like this, the same doctor. Her head pop up above the curtain at one point in time. And then she starts going, the vehicle course wrapped around the neck. I'm like, I can't see what's happening. Emma's kind of hearing stuff, but she's out of it. She's asking me to tell her stories about like Shylo to like distract her. >> Yeah. >> And like, I've realized in that moment like all we do is just kind of hang out with her. There's no stories. >> Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, remember when she was in her soccer game and she hit the winning goal. It's just like, remember when we fed her three times a day? So she stays alive, right? It's something like inventing you from making up stories. >> Yeah. >> Oh, remember when she said that thing she wasn't supposed to say? And then we laughed. >> She was driving the rickshaw in port of Spain. >> [LAUGH] >> Don't show her them that out. >> So like I'm saying that. Well, and then like I see the doctor is like pushing down to get the baby out. Because the baby wouldn't come out. Like I don't know if you guys saw it. I just went to her too. Remember like in Africa where he like just pushes the stomach and the baby flies out. >> I don't believe in her. >> But. >> Okay, but this is like a part of it. >> Yeah, yeah. >> That is what she was doing to get the baby to live. >> Yeah, it's interesting. >> And it was, so it was just terrifying. And then you're like, worry that Emma's going to bleed out and like. >> Yeah, of course. >> I'm surprised. >> I'm surprised. >> Don't peek around a curtain and see what's up. >> When the baby was healthy, I did the thing that you should not do. And every guy will fucking do it. Do not do it. Every guy will do it. I'll do it. You know, guy willing if we're able to have another baby. I'll do it again. But you just glimps for a second and you just wish that you didn't do that. >> Yeah, it's brood really. >> Oh my god. >> Fuck. >> It's one thing to win is birth where it's supposed to come out. But like you just saw a surgery. >> Bro. >> I'm going to be honest, it's worse where it's supposed to come out. >> Yeah. >> Because there's already a hole for it. >> No, but it's not much fun. >> Yeah, when you see that. >> Yeah, when you see that cute little thing get like that. When they fucking squirm their head to get out, that's just crazy. >> When did they do that? >> Yeah. >> That's what I'm saying. >> What do you mean squirm? >> You know these guys have seen them. >> No, I didn't. >> I did clinical rotations in high school because I was supposed to be a doctor. >> Wait, in high school, you were watching and son. >> This couple let me illegal. >> It should have been. But this couple, they came and asked that the mom and the dad, they're like, this kid is, he wants to be a doctor one day, he's doing this part of his high school program. Would you be okay with him watching? >> Yeah. >> And they were like, yeah, so I'm in the room. >> Yeah. >> I'm in the room, the other pussy-occus. >> Yeah. >> I was pussy-occus. >> You know what's crazy? >> That and I worked at a nursing home. So I saw old bitches. >> Oh, pussy too. >> Oh. >> That's how I cleaned it. Paranelcare. >> Oh. >> Oh. >> 16 years old. >> So I'm 16 years old. I'm watching childbirth. I see the baby squirm, it's fucking head to get out. >> The baby juice or whatever the fuck flies everywhere. I'm legit. I'm not ready for this. So I do a full fucking- >> [LAUGH] >> What the fuck is this fucking thing doing in here? Get him out of here. >> Yeah. - Dude, I had no clue about this about you. - Yeah, dude, I forget all this shit. 'Cause it was so far. There was a whole failure of becoming a doctor after that, that blocked out. - Try to block it out. - Yeah, tell me about the C-section. C-section, they cut it, that was what I saw first. They cut it, it's bloody, but they cut the stomach open and then they kind of just pull the baby out, which is, there's and have any complicated stuff. - Are they pulling out organs and stuff, too? - No, like there was shit just all over the place. - Then they pull the after birth, the placenta shit, and so it's like a second little lump that comes out. - But I didn't see any organs. I didn't see any crazy shit. The natural one. - I thought her liver was just chilling on a table. - Now, I look over a second, it's blood everywhere. And I thought that they just removed her whole insides to get out there. I know it doesn't make any logical sense. - But I mean, there were bags and bags and bags of blood. Oh, God. - Yeah. - I don't remember that much blood. Maybe I just forgot, I was 25 years ago, whatever. You've seen, which one did you find tougher? - The vaginal, well, it's tougher. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Because that, it ripped, oh, down to-- - Oh, you're gonna be shitting, they got the bag underneath just a blue fucking garbage bag. - Yeah. - Yeah. - The shit. - And what the hell is wrong with that? - Yeah, it's a recycling bag. They throw it in the glass pile afterward. - The C-section was much better. - Yeah, dude, I agree. - Pulled it out. - And then they took the placenta, just put it right on a stoner. - No, dude, no, no, that's happening. - Yeah. - But they were just so rough with it. Like, just-- - Yeah, it's crazy, that's brutal. - They're rough with it. - Yeah, they're rough with it. - Yeah. - All right, guys, show an ounce, and we're all doing this in less than 10 seconds. I will go right now, we begin March 28th, Providence, Rhode Island, August 8th, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Akash. - January 15th through 18th, this weekend, Phoenix, Arizona. - This Friday and Saturday, Salt Lake City of Wise Guys. - January 24th, canceled comedy, Hard Rock Casino. - Thank you guys. - Casino? - No. - Hard Rock Cafe. - And we're back. - You're just trying to tell stories the whole time while they're just ripping. - I got no fucking clue what I was going on. - That sounds hard to see. - You're trying to say locked in. - Yeah, I do. - And I'm usually good at kind of talking in front of people. And that one. - You're not ready. You're not ready. - I'm not ready. - You got no material, you know what I mean? - I know it's a heckler. - Unresponsive crowd. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that baby's heckling is too much going on. - Oh, just terrifying. Just terrifying. - But it works out, it really is fun. - We got a beautiful baby. Shout out the link. - How does it recover? - How's it different having a son than a daughter? Do you feel different? Do you feel different bond? - It is different. - Really? - Yeah. - It is different, I feel. - What? - How so? - You just like a more like. (laughs) - Immediate. - No, no. (laughs) - No, no. No. I'm much more inappropriate with him. So like. (laughs) - Son, he was just two days old. - Yeah, but like. - The fuck? - And like the second I saw his like deck and balls, like I'm immediately commenting on it. (laughs) Like immediately I'm making jokes about it. Like I'm telling all the nurses, like, you know, I'm just doing the classic like dad shit, you know? And I'm messing around with like our nannies or the baby nurse and like it just, I'm teasing about him in a very different inappropriate way that I could not do with Shiloh. Like Shiloh, it's like pure protection. I love you, I don't ever want. I don't even feel comfortable joking around in any kind of like sexual scenario with Shiloh. But with Link, it's like, immediately. He's breastfeeding on my wife and I'm just, I'm making sounds. But it's just, I feel very comfortable being like, inappropriate. - Dude, is that, I feel like that's the only thing. - Is that odd to say? - I don't know, I don't know, I'm like really protective over Shiloh. - Yeah, I feel like how it should be. Like that's daddy's little girl and then this is dad's friend in the making. Y'all are gonna be friends, y'all. Y'all gonna be best friends. That's what you want with your son and your dad and then your baby daughter. It's like, I mean, obviously we get along but that's my little baby, that's my little baby girl. - Yeah, it is. - Yeah, so far. - It's like a noise is those. - That's so cool. - Oh, great. - Get that. - Like, come on. - That's that, get that. Get that out. - I think I would do that once you get that out. - Don't get that out. (laughing) - Yeah, I don't know, what do you mean you have a kid? - Yeah, my baby will breastfeed disrespectfully and I don't like it. - You don't like it. - No, 'cause his disrespectful. - What does he do? 'Cause he'll be, what is that motherfucker? - 15 months. - Still? - Yeah. - Is that crazy? - That's right. So I'll like grow up. - Still on the chat. - 15 months, two weeks ago. - Do all the time. - Do all the time for you, bro. (laughing) - You try to keep that titty girl. That's what I do. - You want that titty girl. - You keep it in like a daring cow. - If you don't, if you don't, - That's crazy. - You don't like choosing your respect. - You know that with all due respect. - Yes, because Emma's stacked right now. I look her into that and I say, take kicks. - Guys. - I said, do not put a picture. Emma's nipple on Instagram by accident. - That was wild. - That was wild. - You want to know the wild one? - You know, Emma. - Private on his, I've had a look at that guy. - Emma's private on Instagram. (laughing) - She wants no attention, like nothing, right? Like, and she, once you have a kid, your body is not the same in terms of your relation and the sexualization of it. Like, once women have a kid, it's not like, she was almost like, "Ah, whatever, you posted it?" - Yeah. - Like, I literally, she was like, "Ah, I think I can delete it." She's like, "Ah, if you can delete it, delete it." But I don't like it. Like, she doesn't see her nipples in the same way. - It's a weapon, dude. That's just a tool. - Oh, cool. - It's a fork. - Yeah. - Like, they see it like a fucking piece of silverware. - Before the baby, my girl. - With the rest of the internet, doesn't it? (laughing) - That is true. - That is very true. - That is very true. - They do not. - Before the baby. - What are you thinking? - Yeah. - It was funny 'cause I got all the dms, bro. Now, I got all these dms, but they were like, bro, I know you haven't slept in days and it's like, "I've slept every single night." - My wound is 99%. - I posted this on eight hours of sleep. - Yeah. - Like, put your girl's nipples on. You should probably take that down. - Anyway. - But before the baby, girls will be like, "Oh, I don't wanna wear this bikini." And like, the family function, 'cause it's like, it's too revealing to add it out. The second baby comes out, parents in the room, just double dropped. - Dude, feeding it up. - It might be a double drop. - 'Cause it's just like how he's crying. I'm sorry now. - Someone else might need something. - Wait, hold on. - You just gotta try to add it in to my case. - No, this is a respectful part. This is what I was saying. He doesn't just utilize one, you'll be on one and then this little handle pop up and then he'll start twiddling the other one. - Nah, you know what? - No, you know what? - Wait, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute. Have you noticed? - Wait, wait, wait, wait. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - You remember, he denies this to this day. - I remember Miami. - When Duff said he walked in his crib and he just saw a man. (laughing) - Oh, yeah. - That's the game. - That's shit. - So, would we want to say this? - What, what, what happened in the room? - Wait, this is not a true Miami. - What room? - When Duff walked into the room. - Okay, oh my god. - We're doing this again, bro. (laughing) - Come on, guys. - Yeah. - I'm gonna believe this. You guys are gonna believe this. - You just said what goes on in the crib now. - Can we say it? - Bro, can we say it? - No. - Okay, we're a tribe, okay. We do primitive style forms of games. - Yeah, we're a tribe. (laughing) - Sometimes a pop player got to feed the baby. You kind of lean over his side. - Okay, okay. - What do you do? - What do you do? - Has to feed the kid. He's banish her to another room. You send her away, say, go away, heathen. - You're impure. - No, no, I agree with you. I don't think that the body should be sexualized. - Exactly. - You said whip 'em both out when you have one kid. - Because he needs to dial the radio, bro. I'm telling you, he's trying to tune the fucking thing. He's trying to get the FM. He's on it. - That is, that's the gag now, how sorry. - That's the baby. He's doing it my staring at me. - My kid and probably every kid, but my kid loves them titties so much, bro. He'll be eaten, right? He'll be eaten. Throw up on a tittie while he's eaten. And then just keep on feeding him. (laughing) - And I'm like, get it in, get it in, little man. Get it, don't pull off for nothing, don't be stopped. Take that down, take that down. - You should have had nothing done. - Yeah. - This is the thing. - Now you need this way to harder me up again. - But no, I don't. - You don't need it, you don't need it. - I need it, I need it. - This is crazy. - I got too soft. - No, no, this is crazy. - I got too soft, I need that way to harder me up again. (laughing) - I need it harder me up again. - So now he a gagging on it. - You're right. - I said, you don't get gagged. - Why'd you say gagged? - What did you say, might as well. - No gagged. - Reflecting the stuff in the family. - gagged. - Yo, he's taking it down, thrown up at the corner of his mouth, keeps on sucking. - That's a career. - And if my wife tries to wipe his mouth, he's like, fuck off me, woman. (laughing) - I'm getting mine. - He's like rock, he does. - Yeah. - He keeps it moving. - I'm so beautiful. - He is unstoppable, dude. - Yeah, it's kind of beautiful, dude. - Yeah. - Right? (laughing) - I think he came out dick hard. - No, I can't know. - 100%. - I think he came out dick hard. - Packin'? - I like that. I look, man. I was like, yo, you got a huge dick and red balls. His balls were so red. - Oh yeah. - Like a sack. - That's why we got you these, by the way. - Yeah, that's what it looked like. That's what it looked like. And Emma's like in the days. And I was like, I was like, yeah. I was like, yo, I think I got a huge dick. And Emma goes, she's like, she's like, she's like, really? She goes in a genuine way. She's like, how do you know like what a kid's dick is? - Bigger, not a good question. - And a question. (laughing) - And I'm just like, honestly, I have no clue. I was just really hoping I could do that. (laughing) - I'm gonna give you an answer to that. - Not to see a lot of kids dick too. - Yeah, yeah. - This is a big little research. - Damn, that's crazy, dude. - So your kid was starting the C-section from the inside. - I think so. - Oh. (laughing) I'm not. He said, I'm not leaving him with the Leo. I'm not leaving. I'm not fucking leaving. No, he's never seen pussy, man. He never felt it. He felt it. He never felt pussy. He felt it. No, because we had an IVF. So he didn't even feel it on the way in. This motherfucker, he never felt, but we got to get him to feel so maybe that's why he loved to eat so much. But in that crazy, he didn't feel it on the way out, didn't feel it on the way in. Damn. Just a helpful one, though. You got you a future, what's it called, a gold star? I thought about that. That's a bug planet. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's beautiful, dude, the miracle of life. The miracle of life, man. That's amazing. By the way, did the doctor see the Netflix special? Yeah, yeah. Was there any, did she have anything to say? Yeah, she, first of all, she was like, first thing she said was he's to my wife, she's, he's a comedian. I go, she's like, yeah, and he's like, wow, I didn't find him funny at all. I think it was terrifying day in my life. Yeah, I'm more fun. I couldn't breathe for about a year, leading up to this moment. Maybe that's why. Maybe I was really stressed when I was done here, hoping to hear a fucking heartbeat. You can't explain why you were bombed into a person, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then were you trying to. No, it's a stressful time. You're a guy. You're trying to ham it up the second time. No. Yeah, what do you do for work? That's what I was trying to do. You're a dog. No, I was, I was, I was, yeah, I was like, I don't know, man, I don't know what to say, Mark. I don't know what to say. How's your dog doing? Is your dog good? Oh, yeah. Your dog's getting further neglected. No, no, no, no. I'm good with the dog now. Oh, really? Yeah, because the dog. No, this was, this was fire, the dog, it's, it's karma is a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful thing. And why is that? Because the dog will annoy Emma and I, but Shiloh annoys that dog. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Shiloh is giving that dog a run for it's money. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, non-stop. The second she wakes up, Shiloh got a, she got a fake dog that looked just like our dog. And another, Savi. And carries it around all day and still is just driving this dog crazy. Yeah. Shiloh feeds Savi every morning, feeds Savi every night. And the second she, Savi's done eating, Shiloh is driving that motherfucker crazy. They have no life-reserving skills. Like, like little babies. None. My little baby will do is like grab the cat's tail. Oh, yeah. Cat will spin around, swat him. And he'll just die and laugh. Dying. I best friend told me that. And he said, all you're doing is trying to keep your kid from killing themselves. Yeah. That's like the first five years. Yeah. That's all they did. And they try. They try. And then you try to like coach and you're like, no, no, no, gentle gentle. And the kid just smacks the dog in the head and you're like, all right, oh, that's right. You have to say gentle because they don't understand the concept of no when they're younger. They don't know a negative. Don't touch. Yeah. They just know what touch means. So you have to find other ways to tell them to do things. So when my daughter slaps the shit out of me, I have to say gentle. Yeah. But if you say don't hit, then they're like, oh, yeah, I'll smack the shit out of this dog. Yeah. Yeah, it is here. Hit. I can't believe your wife's still breastfeeding with all the respect. I thought it was 18 months, right? Nah. Yeah. I mean, New York is like a month. Yeah. New York is a very good thing. This is not a New York family. Yeah. This is Florida time. A deep-south family. It was important for me. I'm going to go a year. And that like it is. Why are you surprised? And breastfed to like four years old? For me? Yeah. You said you used to. My dad took care of me. Hold on. Whoa. You didn't notice? You dad breastfed? No, my dad stayed home. My mom went back to work. I knew he was hung by. I knew dad. That's true. That's where I got most of my testosterone. How do we eat milk for it? Say again. How long were you milking? I don't think they gave me milk. I think I was Dr. Pepper and Cheetos for the most six months. For six months. For real. Maybe formula or something. I don't know how much breastfeeding I was doing. Yeah. I think you said you breastfed to late. No, no, no. That was you. That was you. No. No, no. I don't think. I'm definitely a formula kid. You were formula. Yeah. Yeah. I think my mom went back to work. And like my dad was able to take off. Like he didn't get paid for it. But you couldn't. You wouldn't get fired if you're a man. And you like didn't go to work if you had a kid. But like weighing on pay. And so he stayed with me, I think, for like the first six months. Wow. So we were just chilling. Yeah. Yeah. Better dad than you, though. Huh? Better dad than you. Damn. Damn, man. It's a rough, dude. Of all people, it's rough. I was going to hit him with honesty. This, I was going to hit him with honesty. Congratulations, man. I know. I know. I said, guys, I had a baby to the group chat. I had a baby to the group chat. - Yeah, is the office, is the studio environment is too white? - Oh, yeah. - You gotta just play with a dick outside. - Hold on. - Fuck. - It was a deal though. - All right, there's a difference. - Yeah, it's a difference. - A reasonably sized deal though. - Yeah. - Yeah, why is that, why is that, I mean like, - Black eyes of dick? - He's stuck it on his forehead. - You have an LGBTQ business. (laughing) - Your business is LGBTQ. - Yeah. - Your nails are LGBTQ. - Okay, but you guys said a white space. - Yeah. - This is a very white space. - But now you're talking about us playing with the penis, but like, what's the white people shit? - Black people are in white people on that. - We're sex positive, are you against sex positivity? - Yeah. - You have a sex positive business. - Yep. - We wanna make the gap you list, do you feel comfortable? - Yeah. - So I stuck a giant mass of white throbbing cock on my forehead. - That's more Hispanic. (laughing) - It was a little darker. - Yeah. - It was an aesthetic dick, that is funny too. - Yeah. - It was very true. - What do you mean? - It was uncut. - It was uncut. - I think that's Spanish dick. - That's Spanish dick? - Yeah. - Wait, why did you find it was Spanish? The guys were saying they thought it was big. - No, it's a decent size. (laughing) - You thought that was like a big penis? You would describe it as? - I would say it's a decent size. - I thought it was massive. - Wait, what does that mean, decent? - It's decent. But like, it's not small, it's not cute. - Does that bigger than yours, would you say? - No, very close. - Would you say that that dick is longer than yours? It's a little girthier towards the base. (laughing) (laughing) - Right in the dick. - Yeah. - It can't show, it can't show. - It can't show. - I was really studying, I was like, "Yo, this shit is close to my shit." (laughing) - But you would say that one's a little girthier and then a little bit longer than yours. - No. - Oh, you think you're longer than that? - No, it's about the same. Like, I held it, it's about the same. - Yeah, so you could tell me. - But it's a little girthier by the way. - You could tell the exact length. - No, I held the shit like this. - But you have a game. - Do you hold it up? - Do you put it on his face? - Yeah. - And did you hold the shit to your dick? - Yeah, but that's white cool stuff. - Hold on, hold on. - You're just being gay. - Hold on a second. - It's like you can't be in an office like this. - You just walk in and just dicks. - Then you pick it up and now I'm gay. - Oh, you, you held the dick to your dick though? - Nah, I held it around. - He's got muscle memory of his dick. - He's getting around his dick, is what he's trying to say. - Oh, okay, yeah. - You grabbed the shit after the dick and wrapped your fingers around it. - Yeah. - Yo, you put it on your face, he put it on his lips. - I put my face on his lips. - Yeah, yeah. - I'm gonna make me gay. - I ain't gonna make you gay. - It's talking about this. (laughing) - I wanna throw it in his mouth. - He's taking a gulp, bro. Just taking a gulp. - Nah, I can't even. - That was just gulp, bro. - Yeah, I'm big as that water compared to your shit. - I'm big as that water, but remember how I said he had a 10-inch dick once. - Nine-and-a-half. - Nine-and-a-half. - Yeah, yeah. - And then we just brought a six-inch dick in and he was like, "That's a decent size dick." - That's not six. (laughing) - That's not six. (laughing) - I gotta get out, y'all know. - I gotta get out. - That's it. - But you could tell how big a dick is? - I know, I just know that's not six. - But that is a six-inch dick. - It's not six. - It's on the boxes of six. - We literally, we're breaking it in. (laughing) Get the dick. Get the dildo and we need something to measure it with. - Technically, we have to blur it. - Joey will measure it over there to find out the exact length of Alex's dick. 'Cause now Alex is confirmed that his dick is no longer - Fuck. (laughing) - It's like the OJ glove moment. - Yes, it is. - We're about to find out. - And the dick fits. - Oh, this is not good. - Yeah. (laughing) - All right. - We got to hide. We got to hide. - Oh. - Okay. - Happy new year, everybody. - That thing is like maybe five. (laughing) - Yeah, that's a five-inch. - That's a five-inch. - Well, a piece of paper is eight and a half by eleven. - Oh, wow, that's a good one. - See? - See? - No, no. - This is where it starts. - No, you gotta go, yeah. - No. - So count the balls, either. - Yeah, of course, that's the thing. - I think that's a six-inch dick. - Yeah. - Six, maybe maybe five and a half. - This is eleven. And you just got a little space right here. - No, I don't know, you can't count balls and suction. - No, you can't count the suction. - Yeah, you can't count the shaft from the base of the shaft. - Oh, guys, are you guys intimidated by my dick? - Honestly, a little bit. - Right. - I mean, if you have a ten-inch dick, yeah. - Sure. - It's a weapon. - Probably everybody's dick is bigger than mine. I'm not really intimidated by much of it. - I'm flipping around. - So I just don't think that's nine inches. - I'm gonna hide this one sec. (laughing) - I don't wanna get demonetized. I took one from the team. - My bad. - Oh, I'm sorry. - I'm gonna fucking show on my fucking chat. (laughing) - Oh, my bad, dude. (laughing) - Oh, my God. - Oh, this is. - You are a patriot. - Yeah, man. Respect, yo. - Shout out to you, bro. - Yeah. - Shout out to you, boys. - You've never looked well comfortable, bro. (laughing) - Do I look taller? - Yeah. - I got lips in right now. That's all. - Peace. - What's your new year's revolution out? (laughing) - New year's, is that what it is? That's what he said. - I am raising your kids. - That's what he said. - Yeah, I'm raising your kids in New York. 'Cause if so, this is not a chance. At least one of your sons ends up doing that. (laughing) - I'll do respect. - You know what I mean? - You can't. - You'll do respect. Call our kids hypothetically gay. - Were you saying you're more comfortable making appropriate jokes? - Yes you can. - Yes you can. - We talked about my days. - Which one of y'all kids got to take some dick? How about that? - Let's talk about it. - Damn, man. - Yeah. - With all due respect. Let's talk. - I think he's more comfortable making appropriate jokes about his sons. - There we go. - All aboard. - Yeah, I'm fine making inappropriate ones where he's a heterosexual man. - That's some hockey show watches. (beep) - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yo. - Are you ever watching this? - No, I haven't watched it. - I need to. - So many of you guys. - Good news. - But yeah, no. The chances of a kid being gay, I mean, you got to love him no matter what. - You got to hit him with the camera hard answer. - Did you hear? He was in an interview, like, do you want a gay kid or a daughter, whatever he goes? I just want two healthy children. I was like, oh, nice. - He learned from that Oscar's kind of thing. - Yeah. - But he got out of it. It became one of my own Twitter. I was like, yeah. But there's a good answer. It was very bad. - I mean, is that what you wanted at the end of the day? - Exactly, right. I want two healthy kids. That's all. - 100%. - And I think the healthiest thing. Let's go to this video. - What is it? - What is it, Miles? - Do you guys want to watch a clip from the hockey show? - Can you explain what the show is and what it's going to be? - It was a show, it was a book, and then it was a show that got optioned in, like, Canada. It was sort of a low budget, like, a little show based on the book. Then HBO picked it up in America, and it went fucking nuts. - Monkers. - Yeah. - Over the break. - And it's about two gay hockey players who secretly are lovers. A Russian man on the right here that would be the, if you had two, sort of, like, I don't even want to give them to an NHL player. - But it would be like the two top best players. - I know you're going to say it. - Yeah, there's two of them. And I just want to follow the NHL. - He's saying he's going to disrespect them, but even I'm not saying he's gay, but he's like the Alex O'Vetschkin type. - And the other one would be Crosby. - And the American. - And the American. - Or like Alex O'Vetsch is like the bad, or the rough guy or whatever. He's like a bad-ass Alex O'Vetschkin and the Sidney Crosby is like kind of like-- - That's a Russian, and I don't want to fuck the Russians, like, no idea who these people are just talking about us. - But we get it, we get it, you're not what they want to get some context. - Everyone knows you're not what you're talking about. - Can I get some context? I want to enjoy the story. - Everyone knows you're not what you're not what he's dressed like this, he is what you're like this. - You said he ain't word so much when you're not with us. - You said it all the time. - You're not what he is. - You said gay. - It is true though, if he does record a podcast at WTF, there is a very high likelihood of my catch-in. - Maybe my catch-in. - That is true. - They're all over the place, popping up everywhere. - Okay, what is this clip? - This clip is just hanging out. They're playing video games with the boys, just like you guys do with your friends. I imagine this is a common situation you run into, correct? - Yeah, of course, dude. - Me and the homies. - The boys are hanging out. It's a long clip. I've never played a video game in his life. - Also, the hockey team is called The Metros, which I think is a fun one. - Oh, come on. - That's fun. - Get to the fucking point. - What are we doing? - What are we doing? We're watching the whole show. - Oh. - It was crazy. - I was crazy. You see what I do. - So he's doing this, we'll join right here. - We'll go to this friend. - This is a boy. - Yeah. - You guys wanted to point. I'm telling you, you got to watch it. It's slow burn. - Yeah. - What's he doing? - What is he doing? - What is he doing? - Yeah. - Your son will find it in the back. - He'll find it. - Yeah. - He's a fucking animal. - He always do respect it. - He always does respect it. - He won't go with that. - Yes, that's it. - My mom deserves some good dick. Just like this guy is about to get. - She's on the phone. He just said, I'm not going to touch you. But if you get hard, things get to happen. - No. - This is like, if someone has my dick and team pouches, I'm trying to get them back. - Son, it's so sensual. - I do the same thing. - That's the hardest part of the show. It's the sensuality, dude. - Oh. - Oh. - He's great. - I can't even react to this shit. - I got a dissent. - I think we got a dissent of you. - That's the time we were watching a champion show. - What was the movie called? Warriors? - Challengers. - Challengers. - Whoa. - No. - No. - No. - No. - No. - That was on the phone. - No. - No. - What is he fucking awesome at? - Yeah, what the hell? - What the hell? - Oh. - Yo, yo, yo. - Oh, I mean, it's hungry. Damn, enthusiastic. - No, it's Soviet shit. - Yeah, he doesn't understand the concept of no. That's fired, dude. - Look at this. - This is crazy. - This isn't even a crazy scene. - What do you mean it's not a crazy scene? It's blown the other guy on national television miles. - You know how you show your boys, your apartment, right? This is what you do. - Hey, I'm a rich hockey player here at Chakaberry. Let's look at our apartments together. - So this is the whole show as they just hook up with each other. - For the first four episodes, it's pretty hook up. And then the last two, you sort of get some storyline. - And so why do straight girls like to shit? - It makes straight girls horny. - I don't know why. (laughing) - I don't know why. - Sound effect, right? (laughing) - Oh. - What was that sound effect? - You got to drop an octave sometime to explain how horny it is. - I like the apartment, open kitchen. - I love the layout. - That's nice. - Yeah, right? - The nice sliding doors. - Fireplace. - I don't love the fireplace. - It's a little too narrow, but it is nice. - I agree. - The space is open. - Just having a fireplace. - It's not cozy enough. - I agree. - Oh, but it's about to get a lot warmer. - Oh man. - That's way hard cut. - You know, I live in New York long enough that whatever. - All right. - This is what dude's making up. - Having the wide angle. - See dude's making up. - No. - That's, come on. - Oh. (laughing) - This shit is like a jump scare. - No. (laughing) - No. - No. - No. (laughing) - Come on. - I'm for it. - Shit. (laughing) - We're scary dudes. - Oh my god. - I ever seen him. - Oh my god. - From my glasses. - Yeah. - God. - This is Hills Have I. - Shit. - It happens like that. - 28 years later. - 28 years later. - They shoot it like a horror. Is that the idea? - They added like a horror film? - No. - That was not something I chose the other apartment. It's so cool. - Can you do it missionary like that? - You're a unicorn. - Why do you want to do it? - Not because girls have butts too. Like, I mean, but can they go even in missionary? - Yeah, they're very innovative, these folks. Oh, I'm, is this gonna just be the same thing again? - No. It would never have turned, no. (laughing) It would never be the same exact thing. - Oh god. - No, this one's got way more buildup to play more sensual. - I'm built up. (laughing) I'm really built up right now. Oh, not the breathing. - Why the breathing, bro? The ASMR breathing? - The whole show is that. It's a lot of sound effects. - Yeah. - A lot of fully like. - And are the actors straight? - That's a great question, dude. - That's fucking acting. What they was doing just before, if they're straight, that's acting. - He was like, you're in that shit. - Osters, gold and globes, like. - Yeah. - No, you got it, bro. 'Cause Al is still in a fucking combatose fate after what he did. - He's holding his head, like, you got it. - Al, you gotta do it without the glasses on. - No, the glasses. - The glasses, my protection a little bit. I've been able to just be good. - But yeah, you think you could act like this? - You, you, we're in movies. - Could I act like that? - Of course, bro, you kidding me. - Yeah, method. - Yeah, I could do it. - I could get domed. - Oh. (laughing) - Oh. - Oh. - Oh. - This is just, this is how it's edited. - Yes, there's more. - There's more. - Jump, jump, jump, jump wasn't that crazy. - Well. - Well, this is the first time. - Don't think you'd louver something. - To keep my context to the show. This is the first time they hook up. - Okay, question. - Yeah. - I need Lou. (laughing) - He got a bubble on him though. - I mean, I don't pull him. - You know what I'm not that 10 seconds, 'cause he kind of got a fucking thing on him. - Oh. - No. - Nah, he does. - That's like the daughter from layman. (laughing) - The daughter from layman and him got the same cheeks. - Okay, there's one part. - You wouldn't get behind that, Alan. - If there was no balls coming back at ya. (laughing) - If there was no balls coming back at ya, you wouldn't get behind that. - Well. - But Jackson was like, he's right. - I got a fiat. - You know, he got a good butt. - He can't deny it. Especially for a white ass. - No. - Oh, why's he playing it in the city? - Yeah, what is that? - Wait, they like that? - Yeah. - Nah, he's fascinating. - He's that guy straight. - I'm watching that guy's documentary. - That guy's straight. - That's what he's straight. - That's one, the guy. - The guy playing with the city. - Oh, look at his laugh. - Nah, bro. - Nah. - No way. - He's doing it. - He's doing the percolator. - There is no way. - Oh my god. - I'm farting. (laughing) - If you bring my legs up like that. - I'm farting, bro. - I'm sorry. What happens when you pull out that thing? (laughing) - Show it. - What happens when you pull out that thing, dude? - Secrets. - This is a hockey movie? - Yeah. - What the fuck? - Show. - Six episodes. - Is the show actually good or is it? - Do they need Luke? - Do they need Luke, guys? - Why are you watching? - I have to. - We got, oh no. Wait, well, this is more traditional way. (laughing) - That's how you would imagine it. - Yeah, this is old fashioned conservative gays. - This is conservative gays, yeah. - Oh, no, he grabbed it. - He grabbed it. - No, he grabbed it. - He grabbed it. - Damn. - What the? - Miles. - All right, all that to say. - Miles. - Yes, why are you watching this? - For the show, honestly. - For the club. - For the club. - For the club. - For the club. - So how does it end? - I show you one more clip. - This is one more clip from the hockey movie. - Yeah. - How far? - Oh, this is hilarious. (laughing) - Can't we not do it for the first time? - Yeah. (laughing) - Do you mean for the first time? - Oh! (laughing) - Oh! (laughing) (laughing) - Yo! (laughing) - Yeah, show. (laughing) (laughing) - Yo, shoutout to my father, shoutout to IMC. (laughing) - What's up, Debra? - Stop showing a game with a son. - Do you know what I'm saying? - I'm showing a game with a son. - I don't have a son. - No, that thing did that to you, though. - I spent so much time editing that. - How did you do that with Sora? - Oh, so much AI. Like, that's incredible. - The funniest thing is, you have to, you upload all the photos of you guys, and then I have to go make them kiss, and they go, no, we can't do that. And they go, they're fake characters for a fake movie, and I really need them to kiss, to sell this to a studio. And they go, yeah, sure. (laughing) - I mean, that was incredible. - I mean, that's wild. - It's a real Bender's trailer that I just truncated down and tossed some more shit on. - Oh my God, I know we're supposed to hate AI, and it's horrible, and we hate it, but the ability to make things gay, that aren't. - Okay, what the fuck is this? - I never got to add this to that. (laughing) - I just wanted to show that there's more. (laughing) - Wait, I feel like this is-- - That is actually phenomenal. - Like, that looks like me, that shit is crazy. - We killed it. - Yeah. - I had a sensuality, it's really beautiful. - And it was number seven, that's beautiful. - Yeah, dude, oh, look at that. - True love. - There's one more. - Please, please, no. - You guys saw that. - One more. - You guys saw SVP. - Oh, this is phenomenal. - Hold on, you don't have that, I'll do anything. - Damn it. - Don't you see that, SVP? - Oh, yeah, Miles, wait, what do you have from SVP? - Oh. - This is the New Year's countdown. - Yeah. - That's hot, after New Year, mom Donnie, protester. - That's a phenomenal thing. (laughing) - No more. (laughing) - Yo, why do you have to kiss two different guys? (laughing) - Why couldn't it be shifty now, it's not bad. - Joey and Ali just know that they've done a bit. Yeah, and Miles got none except for our New Year's. - I was really trying to make my son gay, man. - I did get footage from Miles and David on New Year's. - No, press play. - Press play right now. - I don't have anything. - No, Joey has it. - Joey? - Press play and everything. - Go and do whatever you need. - Soar that shit, make it as gay as possible. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - This is not possible. - I'm surprised you didn't get the scene of him as an actor. - This is not Sora. - Oh, yeah, shit, what a bitch. - I tried finding that scene. (laughing) - Look at the warm lock. Look at the warm lock. - Oh, oh, oh, oh. - Oh, shit. - How'd you do that? - This is what you mean, how? - Yeah, it was crazy, that was. - Now take your glasses off. - No, it's crazy without the glasses. - I'm telling you. - Let it in your eyeballs. - Nah, this shit is better. It's like 3D. (laughing) - Come and hatch you dude. - Oh my god. - What is this? - What is this? - That's a nice ball. - He threw a smud at you. - Damn, bro, that's crazy. - It's crazy. - The prompt to do you is mind wouldn't do that. - No, the prompt. - Whoa, whoa, that's great. - Well, I coincidentally found the first frame, which is a real photograph, let the record show. So if you go to the first frame, this is what actually happened. - Yeah, that's real. - Okay, guys. - He's wrestling me. - He's wrestling. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's how it started. - Yeah, that's how it started. - It's always starting to be beautiful. - 2,000 square foot of foot. - Fanny Alard kind of dick to dick right there. - Yeah. - And now this is where it goes fake rate. - So I had to add a little bit to the end. - The way I did it because I said the same thing. I was like, can you make these two guys kiss? And they were like, no, we can't do it. And I was like, this is the last photo I have of me and my husband. Please, just one final embrace. - You have to, now he's dead. - We're in a bed. - And they, I was like, well, if it's for your husband. - Wow. - You have to, like, beg and trick these AIs. And they're doing K-Shit. - Yeah, the AIs are black. - That's excellent. - You've got to trick him in some K-Shit. - That's awesome. - J-E-B-T. - You've got to make a measure your day. - That's another five. That's another five. - I still let Joe from another five. - Which five? - I want to see who's, oh, I don't, maybe as Christus F. knows on it. I don't remember. - Oh my God, that's unbelievable. - I don't think that's unbelievable. - I don't think I ever said that. - Phenomenal. - I don't want it to do that. - Phenomenal. - It's an AI beautiful, dude. - Oh my God. - Oh, hey there. - Oh yeah. - We hate that. - We hate that. - Fucking fuck AI. - It's so not funny. - Yeah. - And all this AI slop. - Oh, look at this slop. - Look at this slop. - Look at that slop. - Enough. - That shit is crazy. - Yeah, that's crazy. - But how long does it take to make these videos? - That's not AI. - A matter of seconds, or a matter of minutes? - Oh, like 45 seconds. - Minute, maybe. - Can you make several of an alchisting other men? - Why? - I can try. - Why? - Why you mad at me, right? (laughing) - Why you stuff? - Why are you hurting me, Phil? Why are you attacking my character? - The picture is really easy to make. It's actually taking the picture to the video. - What? - Why are you mad at me, bro? (laughing) - I have a couple benders questions for you. - Of course. - Not benders, the other gay hockey show. (laughing) - He's flustered, right? - I think you're rivaling. You're rivaling. - He's bricked up. Benders is a much better name for a gay hockey show, is that? - Wait, so you watched the show for real? I watched episodes of this show. I watched a few scenes here and there, 'cause I was like, "I gotta see what the hype's about," and also I think it'd be really fun to show. - I watched episodes of this show, and I watched a few scenes here and there. - What, which one is it? - I did not watch the whole season. I missed first two episodes. - Now, can we get a girl in here and just ask them why, that if this is hot in the way that like maybe us seeing two hot chicks, hook up is hot? - That's what I'm guessing. - Oh, okay. (laughing) - Can we just ask? - Oh! - I made it straight and then I immediately understand it. (laughing) - More poses go off the show when they make that. - That's cool. - Well, maybe not softball, right? 'Cause we wanna see-- - But what are their hot softball players? - No, no, like L-word. Remember that show? - Yes, vaguely on showtime. - Showtime. - Yeah, what they do here. - Like I don't even remember anything about the show, other than that there was lesbians, and then you have some softcore porn shit like that. - Did they play sports? - Okay, here's the thing. - Alex. - Alex, I don't know if you count because Alex-- - Yeah, you don't count. - That's true. - My straight roommates are jerking off to this. - Well, straight roommates meeting females. - Yeah, yeah. Hanboy friends love this show. - Okay, now-- - Nah, I'd be mad if my girl was watching this. - So, showtime. - Let me just stop. - This is fantastic. - Let me go. - I'm here. - You're watching other digs. - Nah. (laughing) - Keep going. - Nah, I'm just-- - But then, like, work through all this feelings because I understand what you're saying. Like, what is it about-- - Again, turned on by other dudes, and then you get turned on by gayshin' on top of that. Nah, and then you went me. - It's so much-- (laughing) Nah, nah, nah. - It's the show. - What are you saying about me-- - Yeah, just to see-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's crazy. - Yeah. - That's crazy. - And Alex is zero gay tendencies at all, so I don't understand why you were straight. - But that generation likes soft men. - That is true. - Do those men look soft to you? - Yes, they take advantage of that. - No, no, no, they're kind of taking it in the most masculine way. - They're athletes. - They're athletes. - With huge arms. - And the way that they were getting after it. - Yeah, it's extremely fun. - It started slow and sensual. - But then once they were in the fucking, they became guys. - Yeah. - It's the first time we met. - She was in the wash floor. - Okay, okay, okay. - So, came guys. - Okay, yeah, I understand this. - Okay. - Oh, God. - So this is what I'm wondering with the women here. - What's wrong with the world? - What are you, who are you seeing yourself as when you're watching it? - See, that's the fun part. It's like a new thing that we're like part of it, I guess. - Okay. - And you like, I mean, obviously the Asian guy's the woman. - May I get. (laughing) - I would say, but I see your point. - Hey. - That's my watch to show. It's the dynamic. - Okay, more context, more context to the question. Okay, so if we're watching traditional porn, we're imagining ourselves as the guy. The girl is doing the things to the guy. - Yes. - Okay. - Yes. - We don't really watch like girl on girl porn. I don't wanna speak for you guys, but like just girls is for girls. - What people do? - But girls do, not guys. Like, I don't know any guys who are like, I need to find something to jerk off to. It's just two girls petting each other, whatever. - Yeah. - With girls, if you're watching two guys go at it, you're watching a guy blow another guy. - Right. - You're not imagining you're the guy getting blown. - Nor am I imagining giving a blowjob. It's more of just like a feeling. It's like it's just a part of this. It's just hot. - To be a guy. - Yeah, but also like, that's not really fun. - They pretty much didn't kind of masculine. - They should like that. - What happened? - Yeah, I don't know. - They're all in birth control for a feminized man. Look it up. - Ooh. - But are those men femininated? - Who invented birth control? - Exactly. - Yes. - The rock is finished. - Would you? - Whoa. - Oh! - Oh! - I was just trying to think his video gets two million views. - It's so hot. So I'm trying to think this is the biggest podcast we've ever done. - The heck is wrong. - What are you doing? Talking about the one thing that gets views on the internet, right now. Calm down. Don't let us start talking about Argentina in the wild, but. - Oh. - Okay. - Okay. - Okay, so you're not visualizing yourself as one of them. - No, it's not so simple. It's just like, oh my God, this is hot. - Damn. - Damn, that felt like a shot. - Yeah, it was fun. - I was like, "What is that for?" - Yeah, I was like, "Oh, man." - I think that's the case. - I mean, we were like, "That's a B.A. to be honest." - Yeah, that's the case. - We were like, "That looks too small for that to go in there." - Oh, we got in there? - Oh, my God. - That's a spill. - Yeah. - Before we start. Okay. Okay, so again, what is hot about it? - What isn't hot about it is my question. - Okay. - Like, I'm in a different world where I'm like, "That is good." Like, my friends are barking at the TV. - Really? - So then, would you be with a guy that's by? - Would I? - I mean. - Yeah, I have. - Wait. (laughing) - Oh, I don't know. - I dropped the hand. - Yeah. - Oh, my God. - I just don't get it. (laughing) - I just don't get it. - And she's like, "Yeah, I'm doing that." - That's fair. - Okay, she's pants. - Your mouth, she's pants. - She's pants, and that's why. - I can't be pants. - Oh, that shit. - What are you? - What are you? - What are you? - What are you? - I'm pants. - I'm pants, woman I love to cook. - She's one of the guys. - That sounds kind of pan, to be honest with you. - No. - Is it pants or pants? - Pans. - It's pan. - It's pan. - It's pan. - It's really cool. - It's pan. - It's pansexual. - Okay. - Okay, pansexuality is a sexuality. - This is sound exactly like what you just said. - Yeah, that's what, that's, this is you. How are you denying it? - Well, we don't want to put labels on anybody. - I do. - Listen, if you want to-- - I'm sorry, I just came in. - Yeah. - We got to figure this shit out. - This is rules. - Look at that. - I'll fix that. - I'll fix that. - I'll fix that. - I'll cut nail polish. (laughing) - God, it's three broken burning man. - Yeah. - Close back to New York. - Oh, one second. - Don't let it get that much. - Yeah. - Okay, so just, okay, just out of curiosity. There was a point in time, there was a point in time where, at least when I was growing up, I think if a girl knew that a guy had done something with another guy maybe even in the past, they were not as attracted to that guy. And you're saying like in your generation that is kind of-- - I'm kind of an outlier with my friends, like my sister like would never hook up with a bad guy that's like a rule she has. - Well, I didn't even bring that up at all. - Some people have that. - I like how I'm like saying, fucking a dick is the same as being black. - No, she said, oh my God. - Oh my God. - Oh, there's a black girl. - What are you listening? - It's a black girl. - It's a racial. - I thought you just brought up your, by the way, there's a renever-data black guy. - And nothing goes bad about the black guy that she said, my sister was black. - I thought you said black guy. - And we weren't bad at all. - That's probably true. (laughing) - Yeah, that's not true. - All right, guys, back to the show. So I want to understand the world we're all living in, the world that we're raising children in. - Yes, of course. - Okay. And there's no judge. There's no judge. We're moving to this world. - We're moving to Greenland. - Okay. Okay, so if a guy was like, yeah, you know, I've hooked up with some dudes, whatever, like that, but I also like chicks, there's no-- that there's no knock at all on that. - No. I'd be like, great. I'm fucking a gay guy. That's cool. - I also see him as gay. - Yeah, I mean, I work here. (laughing) - That's a good point. That's a good point. - That is a good point. - She masked her own clothes, mind into her second and put it on us. Don't do that. - That's it. - That's it. - That's you. - Okay. Hold on now. - You see the world properly in one way. - Yeah. (laughing) - Okay. I can see things as gay the way you guys do. I just don't see it as a negative. - But we don't see it as negative. - We don't see it as negative. - No. - We don't hook up with them no matter what. So if somebody's gay or straight, it doesn't matter to us because we're not attracted to them. But we're saying-- - We're thrilled your son is gay. - I wouldn't be thrilled if he was straight or gay. - Good. - Yeah, but being thrilled he's gay, I feel like means there's something wrong with being straight. And I don't think there's anything wrong with being straight. - Kind of performative. - It seems performative. - This is the performative liberalism that I think rubs maybe people from our generation the wrong way. - So stoked you're almost pushing it where it's like, well, if you actually think it's fine, then you're just excited that he's a good person. That's what I would be excited if he was a good person. - That was such a woke answer. I'm really impressed. - I can't get out of it. - Whoa, that was kind of-- - You don't realize that we're the real woke ones alone. - He's a loon dude. He's fucking live. - You're gonna realize we're the real woke ones. - Honestly. - I also grew up in a dance family, guys. You guys just found out about gay. My neighborhood died of AIDS. - Okay. Like, this is brand new for y'all. We've been on this gay shit. - That's you know, it's actually the series finale of "Beauty Rock Rock". and vendors. I don't think we made it to the series family. Okay, so, so, okay, just so we understand. So it doesn't affect at all and guys are more confident sharing these things because there might have been a time when we were growing up where if a guy did do some gay shit and then they're like, I don't really kind of want to do that. They would never share with a girl because they'd be concerned that a girl would judge them. Yeah, I think by men feel like the most prejudiced like they feel like people aren't into their whole vibe, because it's like, not straight enough for the straights, not straight enough for the girls. Like me and him and my rifle. You often hear that from black by rich. Yes, it's like, you're not black enough for the black community. You're not white enough for the white community. So you're kind of in the middle. I'm not going to speak on the black community. I'll give you an example. I'm like, you worked in this office. Exactly. This white office where we throw around the top. How do you white off? Like who's white here? But I know what? But the white. Who's white? Like look around. He's Puerto Rican. Yeah, he's Puerto Rican. Shifty's Mexican. You can't be Puerto Rican. Shifty's Mexican. He speaks Spanish. He's the Indian. Shifty. That's Mexican. African. You guys are African, right? Yeah, they're from the continent of Africa. Can I do some very honest? This is the most important thing I noticed. White people don't think Jewish people are white. We think they're white. And Jewish people are like, we're white. And white people are like, no, you're not. This is a very funny thing. They're, they're interracial. Like the same. They don't, we're like, no, yeah, white. And they're like, yeah, we are. And white people are like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's a brother's brother. No, I'm just saying there's no white. He was like, I'm like, everybody. It's just me. It's a gosh. That's it. You think that Shifty's a white guy? Shifty's white. Shifty. Are you from Mexico? But it's like, yeah, but no. Come on. Yeah. It doesn't speak a ton of there's no fucking ice rate or whatever here. You don't have a car anyway. So you're safe. Yeah. Too soon. Anyway, it's point being there's no negative, there's no negative attachment whatsoever. If a guy's like, I'm by no, and honestly, I think I implore all the straight boyfriends to watch this with your girl. It'll just be fun for everybody. All right. To follow up on that. Yeah. On Al's point, if your girl watches this, not your girl's hypothetical. This whole different world. You live in a different dimension. Yeah. You watch this with a girl. She gets all horned up. She you guys have sexual activities after. How does it make you feel? You gay by association. Yeah, you know, you know, that's you watch that together. You just watch an episode. And then you go straight to the bedroom. Yeah. But you're having straight. Yeah. Having said some woman is straight in here. But she got turned on by watching gay guys. Why are you watching it? But fuck it. Whatever it takes. No, I could do it. It's good. I was jokingly saying I'd watch the show on our call yesterday. And now I'm like, nah, it's really so good. I used to watch it. I don't know. I don't believe it's good. From the cap. I think I think girls are overlooking that it's probably not a good show because they. It's a shit show. The dialogue is garbage. There you go. But then they're banging. And it's awesome. Yeah. And also if you say it's not your shit shows, everyone's watching Landman. So what streamer is that on? Hold on. Hold on a second. Shifty. I need you to time in over here. Are we really going to talk to you about Landman right now? I hear it's not good. What's Landman? Oh, it's white TV. It's Republican TV. It's fire, bro. It's maggot got a show. It only shows it work on TV. What they did right. This is Taylor Sheridan. He's a guy to Yellowstone and what's that movie? That's fire. He's fucking a genius. Like he's a liberal genius. Yeah. But what he did what he does so brilliantly is he only casts hot checks. So every girl in the show is a dime even smart women in the show are hot, which is I it's actually fiction. There's a lawyer in the show who's like a 10 out of 10, which has never happened in the history of female lawyers. But 10 out of 10 is super hot. Every girl super hot and every guy's ugly. And it is like a guy's dream to watch super hot checks be attracted to that. That sounds exactly like he did rivalry. Yeah. He did rivalry is to fucking smoke shows banging all time. Yeah. That's why women like it. Yeah. There's the ugly guy who shouldn't be able to get laid and then he's getting laid. But it's just family real life. Yeah. That's what that's what yeah. But that's what Taylor Sheridan creates. Oh, you're saying the hook is that the guy gets the hot girl. I thought we just saying we just like the ugly guy. I got to relate to a shit out of sailor. He casts really hot women in his lives. I laugh. Who's the hottest woman he casts? He married Jennifer Anderson. They're like in Hawaii. Multiple. Yeah. Malthe movie. No, no, Jennifer Anderson got it. I think she's a she's a she's a pretty good looking girl. She's like America. She's like she's great. She's beautiful. She's beautiful. She's not the lawyer from fucking in that movie. Come on. Come on now. He leaves Brooklyn Decker for her who is a literal sports illustrated swimsuit. Yeah. That is actually realistic. That makes sense. That he leaves that guy for Jennifer with some sports illustrated model. No. That's just for like a little good time. He gets engaged to that girl who's okay. The point that I was rejecting I completely take back and I was wrong. You were right. That's what Adam Sailor did brilliantly and that's why he is a genius. Okay. There you go. Yes. You're 100% right. This is what we want to see at the end of the day. Grove and the and by the way, I'm talking all this shit about ice skating show. Also, by the way, if they're gay, the show is about ice skating. It's not hockey, but I watched the talented Mr Ripley last night. Was that gay? That's the first ice skating show. You guys never seen talent in Mr Ripley. Matt Damon. Oh my god. Is it ice skating? Phenomenal. No, it's not ice skating, but there's like some homosexual undertones, but this is back in a day where they just kind of like tease it, but they don't really get it. Was it before? Broke back? Yeah. Broke back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is like Matt. This is like a couple years after, um, good will hunting. Oh, you laws in it. Also, what a piece, Jude Lawless. Oh, handsome. Son of a balding man everywhere. Yes. Gave balding men everywhere. Yeah. With that little exceeding hairline. Yeah. Okay. Somehow Alex got out of this conversation. It's just us. The boys talking on the street. Talk about girls. Yeah. You just said Jude Lawless hot. She left in the men being hot. I know. I get it. Okay. What is this? I don't get it. It's calcium out for, uh, I don't get it. What? Outstanding performance by an ensemble in a drama. Oh, where's this nominated? Where's landman? Negative one percent. Maybe it'll, maybe it'll, maybe it'll, maybe it'll pull around a bent. What does calcium know? You know, I mean, yeah, hell does calcium know, right? You guys want to watch the pit? Oh, someone's going to die. They don't. Isn't that every show in the hospital? Don't we, we get it? I have no idea what the pit is. Yeah. It's a, it's a, uh, medical drama. Is it like the new year? It's a year, right? Oh, okay. But is there anything unique about it? Are every, every episode is one hour long. It's one hour of content. Like the, the timeline of the show is one hour. Do they do C sections? 24 was like that. It's got a dumb. Yo, yo, Shifty. Micup Shifty. If you retard backs on his posture, he's going to call you up. Okay. Can you smile? Retard Max just right there for one turn. Yeah, you did retard Max. The show is one hour long. That is one hour. One hour long. Yo, take this nut. Peanut butter. You ordered it weirdly, but yeah, I don't do that. It's one hour. You meant that it's an hour of real time. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. There was a show. There's a very famous show called 24 that did that effectively. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then another show called adolescence. Oh, yeah. It was also did that. Yeah. Yeah. The famous like one or show all one shot. And that kid is one of Golden Globe. He did. He was fun. Oh, he did. Yeah. That can't be shot. It's a good answer. What about the dad? The dad should have got some too. Dad wrote it. Dad wrote the shit. Really? That actor? Steven Graham. Beast. Wow. Viracial. Yeah. But you wouldn't give him credit because he doesn't look the part. Fucking unbelievable. Unbelievable. The world we live in. Black Hollywood is running everything. It is crazy. And the guy who made the music for Wakanda. White guy. And the music for centers. White guy. We don't give no credit to Ludwig. Why can't we celebrate when white people make the best African music? Why can't we celebrate? I need to. Ludwig Von Gorinson. Don't pull him up. You heard his name. Yo, shout out. You just want a golden globe, bro. They gave the white man a golden globe for center. The only. The only way to win the golden globe for centers was a white man. Hollywood doing that thing. Ah, look at him. Oh, he's like me. Oh my god. He does look haller like Mark. Yeah. That's tough. God. That's bangers. You can do Wakanda forever. That's Wakanda forever. He used AI. He used AI. No, this is. Look at that's what. That's centers, bro. Wow. He did. He did Wakanda. He did centers. He looks like Asher Roth. Yeah. Shout out asher. But this is beautiful, we're all working together and it's merit-based. This is what we want. Nothing wrong with that. Yes. Does he bring Dildos to the office though? Maybe. What's wrong with that? Who knows? What is wrong with bringing Dildos to the office? Six inches. We're not shooting this fucking Dildos. Sorry, they don't have the fucking slenderness at the base that you do. Yes. Like your dick is skinnier towards the bottom? Slightly. So it, like, opens up, it's like a nerfable. That's like a nerfable. Not bad. Dramatic. But what does it look like? Like a nuke from fallout? Yeah. Like a snake after a meal. What does it look like? What does it look like, dude? Black snake roll. Black snake roll. This is MLK's vision, bro. This is fun. You like MLK? Right? Yeah. Can we be supportive of this? I am supportive of it. You like MLK, man. I don't believe it. If a black dude did the music for friends, wouldn't you be excited about that? Yeah. Wouldn't we celebrate that? One music massage. Say no. You think a white guy was keeping that beat in there? You think a white guy? That's true. Yeah, nobody. Yeah. You couldn't do it. I couldn't even do it. Yeah. All right. All right. I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you. Sometimes you guys got it. Now, do you know what? MLK's birth. First name? Shut up, Mark. Do you know? What was it? MLK's real name. He got his tattoo on his arm. Bring it. I want to see that cover up. You might know. He might know. Let's just see. He don't know. Let's just see. I'll scare him. Let's just look at that. Let's just see. Let's scare him. Let's Martin Luther King's birth name. Okay. Look it up, Joey. I don't know. God. Oh, man. That's nice. It's a random question. How's tattoo going from Martin Luther King's birth name? Martin Luther King's birth name? Yeah, I just figure everyone knew that. Michael King Jr. I did not know that. You know Malcolm's last name? Well, before we move on to that, why did he change his name to Martin Luther? I think him and his dad, like, wait, is this a self? I mean, where was that Martin Luther from? There's chirping. What did he decide? What year did he decide after a trip? And what year? Wait a second. Hold on. Wait a second. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Wait, I thought you had to eat. Go. Was it night in the 1930s, man? Hold on. Hold on. This wasn't a tour. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I didn't know what it was. I was going to stop doing this. I'm going to stop doing this. I don't. I think House would have wound him. You ignored me trying to hang out. >> Yeah, if it is 100% >> I truly hope so. >> 100%. >> We need a bed and market on the outskirts of that shit immediately probably. Can we put a market up for your boy? >> Yeah, I would love that. Yeah, odds on whether or not he's sucking dick, you'll probably lie about it. Cuz he told me he stole my shit and pond it, not disaster. He pond my shit until he could pay this guy back. That guy was like, he paid me back? So that's because I was like, I don't believe you, there's no reason you would steal my shit to pay back this guy that you're so close to. >> This guy is going to give you more time. >> Because this guy is going to give you more time. >> I'd say his name. >> No, I'm not, but he's going to do it anyway. And somehow Akash is going to lose. >> [LAUGH] >> Somehow, Akash is going to spend $4 million in a lawsuit and losing some of his guys. >> So low as camera credit for a point. >> He's gonna need me four days later. He's like, I'll pay you back as soon as I get on my feet. I was like, you ain't getting on your fucking feet. I ain't even responding. >> This is dumb at 6% of me. >> Poor guy though. >> I mean, poor guy. >> Yeah, he's an addict. >> He's an addict, he's an addict. >> He's an addict, he's an addict, he's an addict. >> I ain't hate all of y'all. >> I hate all of y'all. Your wife is white. >> You're something, bro. >> No, do respect. >> [LAUGH] >> I hate all of you, do respect. >> You're too rich for people to feel bad for you, bro. >> Yeah, it's fun. >> It's too rich. Now, if he pawned all the jestlings bags, that would be hilarious. >> That would be fucking hilarious. >> I'm not gonna lie, that would be absolutely hysterical. >> That would be fun. >> Yeah, yeah. >> But it was really you on the side. >> [LAUGH] >> Look at the video camera footage. He's got a shy sound. >> I thought what happened in the bag. >> [LAUGH] >> Wait, so did you get asked about the parlor? Because I feel it before I judge him, I want to know. >> Yeah, did he, what was he gambled? >> If he won, I'd have got my sheep back. >> No, you wouldn't, because he won a gamble more. Like once you got some heat, you got a kid. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he lost whatever he got. He broke again. >> But if he loses, enough times in a row, he's about to win. >> Exactly, that's true. So like- >> You can't lose forever. >> Yeah. >> It's gambling. >> [LAUGH] >> It's called gambling for a reason. >> You'd be called losing if you lost forever. >> Exactly, eventually you're going to win. >> I think we got to let him roll, call him. >> Hey, get this call him up, call him. >> Hey, we got some cameras in here. >> Yo, we should invest. We got to invest in him. >> Okay, for real. >> Call him up, tell him, tell him. I want to put one dick so I'm going to hit the phone. >> [LAUGH] >> Let me memo you a dick so I'm going to let you know I'm paying. >> No, no, I'm not, I told lips. >> [LAUGH] >> We're going to pay through gay sexual acts, that's it. >> [LAUGH] >> But you're going to get your dick so I'm- >> Wait, hold on. >> Why did you just have a kid, bro, just try to open it. And I ain't get it in my dick so I can avoid it, bro. >> You don't want something going through something a little desperate, you're going to want it. You think the hockey boys want it? >> Yeah, this guy. >> Shit, I can't bring out it. >> Fuck, he's feeling lucky. >> [LAUGH] >> Lucky, dude. >> [LAUGH] >> Anyway, shout out my do-ro, though. >> For what the fuck? >> I don't know. >> Shout out that it's way lower. >> I want to see this episode of Pond Stars. >> I'm just your guy going in there. >> I feel bad for this guy. >> Yeah, I feel bad for him, too, bro. >> Ow. >> I hate you. >> [LAUGH] >> I hate you, I hate your five-inch dick, I hate everything about you. >> [LAUGH] >> How did he get me that was a problem? >> I had to have his homie go get it with him and now he's in his homie's possession. >> But he didn't spend the money yet. >> No, he spent all the money. >> So you have to put the money up to get it? >> I had to pay the money, yeah. >> Wow. >> Yeah, I had to pay his homie the money to go get it. And then I got, and the main issue was all my shows and shit were on. >> That's a bit more than a new hour, everything is, no, I'm getting it hopefully this week. >> Listen, they could just got got, by the way, yes, yes, that's why, you don't, you don't get an okay with it. >> You probably haven't actually got anybody else in Canada. >> What? >> I was gonna go to jail. Who the fuck else? I was just good. >> Yeah, I was just good. He's good money. >> He's got to go with you. >> No, no, no, no. >> We don't make people we know in Canada. >> He got to go with the guy. >> Yeah, we could send somebody with him that wasn't his partner in crime originally. >> I don't know where the guy lives, I gotta figure out where he lives. >> Why do you have to figure out where he lives? Do you know where he lives now? >> Just sent somebody. >> Why would you have to figure out where he lives? >> But how does he get the guy to go to the pawn shop? >> Yeah. >> The same way he's getting the guy to go to the pawn shop now? >> That guy knows where he lives. Going to his place, grabbing him up, let's go. >> So you do know where he lives? >> He doesn't, he doesn't, but his partner does. >> His home he does. >> If you reach out to a random third party, he's gonna be like, all right, where's the guys? We can go to the pawn shop. >> I feel like we're getting off topic a little bit here. I think what we should be focusing on is this poor guy and what he's going through. >> Yes, exactly. >> And I feel like I feel like I gosh, when you presented this, what you were really trying to, what you were really trying to speak on is the suffering that this guy is going through. The guy had to sell your camera equipment. You think he wanted to do that? >> Yeah. >> He did a few things. >> He was gonna suffer. >> He didn't want to mess up this relationship he has with you? >> Yeah. >> This is the best thing he's got. >> You should have texted back with the hotline for the gamblers. >> Yeah. >> Okay, those things, bro, Jean-Faul-Jean, you stole here some more, you need it. >> You need it, bro. >> What is that? >> It's okay. >> It's okay. >> Let Miss Rahab look. >> You never seen let Miss Rahab look? >> No. >> No. >> There's a reason why they leave books out in Iraq. >> Wait, what? >> Wait, what? >> Yeah. >> There's a reason why they leave books out in the streets in Iraq, man. >> It's not what? >> I don't, what do you mean? >> The man who reads does not steal. And the thief does not read. >> Come on, bro. >> Yeah. >> They know. >> The US does both. >> Yeah. >> Give us that. >> Give us that. >> Yes. >> Oh man. >> Well, let's start. >> It was funny. >> It was cool, too. >> Yeah, I liked him, man. >> Yeah. >> I think you got to give him a second chance. >> Yeah, I didn't talk to him. >> I talked to him. >> I talked to him. >> He was giving us some good. >> He was talking to me about gambling. >> Yeah. >> I swear to God, no, I was sitting next to him when he was going to do this. >> And I had no idea. >> No, I didn't. >> This kind of else. >> Falling away, what were you putting the battery in his bed? >> I don't know. >> I was just acting like I was paying attention, but. >> No, he doesn't. >> Yeah. >> He's telling Alex. He said, I got all this camera equipment. He goes, you could pawn this. >> Yeah. >> I'm taking the under on Alex. Dick's eyes right now. >> Trying to get under house dick. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> That's where I hope my whole is going to have to meet him. >> Send this guy. WTF media studios addresses. >> Yeah. >> Oh yeah. >> Yeah. >> He could probably use a job actually. >> Yeah. >> He's a talented camera person. You have so much empathy. You should give him a job. >> That's a good point. >> I got guns. >> That's fine. >> Whoa, whoa. >> That's fine. >> That's fine. >> This guy's an ad. >> Yeah. >> I know. >> No. >> Who said you would do the first deal? >> He would steal it. >> He pawned it. >> Yeah. >> He's not going to steal your shoes. >> I ain't no bitch. I'm shooting. >> What the hell? >> See how I use the N-word to be funny? >> Damn bro. >> Damn. >> Listen, you see how it also didn't really land? >> Damn. >> How? >> He's taking away your N-word. >> See, this is what I was saying. >> This is what I was saying. >> I don't think you should be allowed to use it. You're just not good at it. >> I believe that. >> Damn. >> He's just mad. >> He's a sucker. >> I'm just kidding. >> I'm just kidding. >> You got a pawn. >> You got a pawn. >> You got a pawn. >> You got a pawn. >> You got a pawn. >> Yeah, you got a pawn. >> You got a pawn. >> I'm just kidding. >> You got a pawn. >> You got a pawn. >> You got a pawn. >> You got a pawn. >> You got a pawn. >> I'm done. >> What's it called? >> It's called "Patreon." >> It's called "Patreon." >> It's called "Patreon."