Sarah: The Mother, the Guardian

Hello everyone. I'm ZC, a student of Halsidis, aspiring to live a God-centered life, while also mothering staying present and holding on to creativity and drive. Each month I'm exploring where these ideals meet through the lens of Halsidis thought. Let's probe the heights and return grounded as we navigate standing between Earth and Sky. We took a little break last month with the very head-to-dick-yumptive season, and in the last few weeks as we exited, sockets through Semprastera, we started the Torah again, and we resumed from the beginning of Safer Brasius. And this Safer Brasius is interesting because the rest of the Torah really tells us the story of our people becoming a nation and also just very practically the laws of how we live a Jewish life. But Safer Brasius is not really saying the story of our people, it's saying the story of our ancestry before we became a people. And we can ask a question of why, why do we need to hear all these stories of Abraham and Yitzeluk and Yoko and their families? What are we learning from these stories? And R.C. just teach us that Misa of a Simulubanim, that the actions of the fathers are assigned for the children. Part of the reason that we learn through Safer Brasius, and we learn the stories, and we learn about our forefathers and foremothers, is because they have provided us with our spiritual DNA. They are our origin story. There's a lot of talk today about generational trauma. How we can inherit trauma from our grandparents and great grandparents, even if it's not something that we've ever experienced personally, but how that passes down through our DNA so that we're sort of born in this maybe slightly compromised state. And the same way we're born potentially in this compromised state. We also inherit the resilience of the people who come before us and the strength that it took for them to survive everything that happened to them. I think this is the story of the Jewish people. All the pain, all the suffering, all the exile, and also all the strength and resilience and commitment. And specifically, reading the stories of Abraham and Tukanyako, Vinciar, Rifqa, Rahul and Leia, we learn about our mothers and fathers. They provide us with a spiritual DNA. If you learn the Chastity and Kabbalistic teachings about these parts, you'll see that a lot of it deals with the origins of their souls. And where is the source of these souls within the context of creation? And by learning about our fathers and mothers, our fathers and mothers are responsible for this spiritual DNA that is passed down through the generations into every single Jewish soul, however single Jewish soul is connected to and derives energy from the same spiritual sources that our mothers and fathers did as well. So what I wanted to focus on, and maybe we'll do a little series over the next couple of weeks, specifically on the mothers, as a woman and as a mother myself, I feel that there's a lot that we can learn specifically from our mothers. And sometimes a study of the mothers can get neglected. So I wanted to devote some time to studying Sarah with Rahul and Leia. And today we're going to focus on Sarah. In this week's Partia, Partia's Lakhlakhour introduced Alverman Sarah and they are commanded to leave their home and travel to Newland. Can we follow their story of establishing themselves in this Newland, providing influence and spreading the word of Hashem to all the people who were never exposed to monotheism before? And I'm in Sarah, our childless. Let me hear how they are blessed to have a son at the old age. Sarah has a son at the old age of 90. And then we follow her story as she's raising her son. And something that we see about Sarah is that she is an extremely strong character. She's not a meek woman on the side. She is fully involved in the decision making process at one point when Alverman Sarah are disagreeing about whether Alverman should send away from Sarah's mead servant Hagar and her son and Alverman's son Yishmahal. Hashem tells Alverman, "Colorshartamar alaqasara." Everything that Sarah your wife tells you, listen to her voice. Sarah's voice is equally and if not more heard in this story. Let's try to understand Sarah a little bit more. She's very fascinating Gamara and Bava Basra. It's actually a little dare I say strange. It's a story I'll read it in English from the Gamara. It says, "Rabba Benay was marking burial caves. He was marking the caves for the purpose, helping to prevent people from perhaps contracting ritual and purity by coming in contact with the caves. When he arrived at the cave of Avram, aka Maharasam Akpila, he encountered Ali Yazar, the servant of Avram, who was standing before the entrance. Rabba Benay said to him, "What is Avram doing at this moment?" Ali Yazar said to him, "He is lying in the arms of Sarah and she is examining his head. Rabba Benay said to him, "Go tell him that Benay is standing at the entrance." Ali Yazar said to him, "Let him enter, since it is known that there is no evil inclination in this higher world." He entered, examined the cave, in order to measure it and exit it. This is a story happening over a thousand years after, over a thousand years after Ali Yazar's death. So when we say that he encountered Ali Yazar, it seems he must have been some sort of coming down as a visitor from the next world, there to protect Avram and Sarah, faithful even after death to his master. And apparently it could be read or it could be understood that Avram lying in Sarah's lap and her examining his head could potentially be an inappropriate way to greet a visitor. Ali Yazar responds to him that in the next world there is no evil inclination, as in there's nothing inappropriate happening here. The fact that they are in this position right over here, it's appropriate for you to see and you can go in. There's no evil inclination in the next world. This is all pure. And so Rabba Benay enters and examines and he leaves. It seems really strange that Sarah is examining Avram's head. But if we go a little bit deeper into the kablistic sources of Avram and Sarah's souls, the story becomes a little bit clearer. We know about Avram that he was the embodiment of Hasad. Avram was pure, unadulterated kindness. He gave to everyone. He gave to everyone indiscriminately. He prays even for the people of Saddam, even for the people who are in the lowest rungs of evil. Even for the people who God can find no compassion for and needs to ultimately destroy it, Avram still prays for those people because he is, as I said, he is pure kindness. He wants to save the world. That is what Avram wants to do. And we see that Avram has two sons. He has Yitzhak from his wife Sarah and he takes a second wife, Hugger, and has Yishmael from Hugger. And we learn something about indiscriminate kindness from these stories. We learn is that kindness that is not channeled and kindness that does not take the recipient into consideration can be manipulated for evil, can be manipulated for unholiness. When God created the world, He created good and His energy is good. His life force is good. So how can evil exist? Evil exists because God turns away from the evil. He creates a void where His energy is not expressed and found in an open way. And over there, ego and evil can start to breed. But where does this evil receive its energy from if God the energy is good? Evil receives His energy by reaching on to positive bounty. And it comes to kindness that has no boundaries, that has no gates, that has no guardians. is a place where clean. where forces of impurity can leach on to and extract energy for themselves. And we see this happen where God tells Abraham, "No, we're not going to save Saddam. Saddam is not a place worthy of kindness. Kindness is not applicable in every situation. Sometimes we need to put up guards, sometimes we need to put up restraints. And we see too with the story of Yashmahal. And this is the story where Hashem tells Abraham to listen to his wife, Sarah. Because Abraham has compassion, Abraham is kindness and he wants his son to stay. He wants his son to be safe. And Sarah has to tell him, "No, Yashmahal is not having the positive influence on our son Yitzhak and we need to send him away." And this can seem extremely harsh. This can sound very difficult to think about a father needing to send his son away. It doesn't really speak to our modern sensibilities. But Hashem tells him, "Listen to Sarah, your wife. Sarah your wife is on to something here." And this is because Sarah is rooted in the opposite energy of kindness. And she is rooted in the power of Gavura, which is the power of strength, contraction, exclusivity. Investing energy only into specific vessels. And only investing the amount that fits into that vessel. Only giving energy to something that is worthy of receiving it or capable of receiving it, not giving indiscriminately. And so, by being extremely specific about where the energy is going to be invested. By being extremely concerned about what she invests in, Sarah is able to direct to the energy so that it is not able to be siphoned by evil and by negativity. It remains focused on where it's supposed to go. And then the clippa is not able to extract and steal that energy. This interesting scenario of Avram lying in Sarah's lap and cheese examining his head is indicative of this dynamic. The hair is a very interesting part of the body. Hair is both alive and not alive at the same time. It's alive, but it has a really, really, really minuscule life force. The proof of this is that yes, when you pull hair from the root, it hurts because it's connected to life. And therefore, there are nerves there that will send signals to the brain that, hey, this hurts. The hair is being pulled off of my head. And then, if you're standing a haircut, it does not hurt. Cutting the ends of the hair does not hurt because the life force is only right there at the root. A very, very, very small bit of life that is only at the root. And then, as it extends, the life force becomes less and less. And it's basically dead so you can cut it without it hurting. It's similar to a nail. If you've ever had a nail fully fall off, you know how painful that is. We trim our nails all the time without pain because the hair on the nails are both similar in that they are these very, very, very weak sources of life. Any other part of the body, if you cut it, it hurts, but in these two parts of the body, it doesn't hurt because of this weakened life force. And it is specifically to these weaker spaces that the power of cli-pa knows that it can reach energy from because it can be unnoticed. The same way that's where a lice will begin in our hair, if I would have a louse on my face or on my arm. Notice it right away because these are spaces that are full of life. But the lice go into the hair and you don't really know it realize that they're there because again, this is the weakened life force. And then they're able to take from there. So similarly, hair capitalistically represents this lighter life force where the cli-pa can latch onto unnoticed and siphon just enough energy for themselves to perpetuate and to continue existing. Avram being this indiscriminate giver is the perfect person for cli-pa to try to get energy from because he gives without boundaries and he gives it without taking into account who is receiving. So the cli-pa tries to latch onto Avram's hair. And what is Sarah's role? Sarah's role is being the protector. She is checking his hair. And then she's calming through the hair, making sure that there is nothing there that is trying to take his energy. Sarah is the guardian of the energy. Sarah is the one who makes sure that energy doesn't end up where it's not supposed to be. Sarah knows that being soft without strength perpetuates evil. And then she's just like a person who has a strong strength and a strong strength. And then she's just like a person who has a strong strength and a strong strength and a strong strength. Sarah and everyone in her life moving on from her death. The portion opens up with Avram purchasing the burial plot for his wife, which is Mara's Hamakhpela in Hevarum. And then it talks about the marriage of Yat-Kh-Ka and Rif-Ka. And it says that the ru Yat-Kh-Kh-Marage he found consolation for the loss of his mother. And then he found out how the holiness that was always present in his mother's tent, the schlina, the bread not going stale and the candles remaining lit all week, which disappeared after her death returned with Rif-Ka entering into the tent. And Yat-Kh-Kh-Kh-Marage is finding consolation and seems to be comforted from his mother and moving away from the presence of his mother in his life. And then the suggestion of Khayya-Sara describes how Avram took another wife who, Rashi explained to us, is actually Hagar. Hagar has a new name Petura and he takes her back after Sarah sent her away. And then it discusses Yashmahal's progeny, all the generations that come from Yashmahal. This seems to be an opposition to Sarah who declared to send away Hagar and her child. So how can it be that this portion is called Khayya-Sara, the life of Sarah, if all these things that seem to really negate Sarah's existence and her will are taking place? The Gamara tells us what is life, it says that Yakhav, Avinu did not die, why? Mazara Baha'im, Avhubahim. If his progeny lives on, so is to, he lives on. The truly timeless aspect element of human existence is when their soul power and their soul mission is perpetuated and lives on in their children. The power is the power of Gavura, a focus, strength, and exclusivity. While Avram fathered not only Yatrak, but also Yashmahal, thereby becoming a father not only of the Jewish people, but also of other nations, Sarah is only the mother of Yatrak exclusively. She is connected specifically and only with the Jewish nation. She senses the unique quality of the Jewish people. And this is the theme that we find running through Pasha's Khayya-Sara. First we said, Avram buries her and in doing so he purchases Maharasah Mahpella. Before he purchased Maharasah Mahpella who was buried there, it was Adam and Hava. Adam and Hava are parents of all of mankind. He can be a universal location for everyone because the parents of mankind are buried there. But Avram purchases Maharasah Mahpella. He makes sure to spend money on it. He doesn't want it for free. He wants to say I legally own this place and now it is exclusively used for the Jews. And here we see the influence of Sarah on Avram, where Avram, the ultimate giver who gives to everyone recognizes the necessity for having a space that is for the Jewish people. And it is very interesting that that space is actually contested until this day. The city of Hava is contested and Maharasah Mahpella, but Avram knew. Avram knew that this space would be contested and through purchasing it he's perpetuating Sarah's deep knowledge and influence. That there are some spaces that are holy for the Jewish people specific. The second area in this parcia where we see the See, Sarah's influence is with Githluck's marriage to Rifka. When Abram sends some approaches to his servant Eliasar to go find a wife for his son Githluck, Eliasar initially suggests his own daughter. Abram says no, he wants a wife from his own family. And he sends him specifically to Kanan to choose a wife from his own family. Basue was his nephew and they choose his daughter Rifka. And again here we see that influence of Sarah saying, "Our family is not the same as the other families." Even though they are much further away, there may have been quality women closer nearby. But Sarah highlights to Abram the fact that our family is different. Khasad says, "No, we're all the same. One of us is not different from the other. We don't have different qualities from each other. No one is better than anyone else." Uvrura says, "We are all different. And different people fit together in different ways. And we need to acknowledge the difference in order to find the right match. And on some level, if everyone fits together, then no one really fits together. It's only in highlighting the exclusivity and the fact that no, Getsla cannot just marry anyone. There is a certain quality that is found in our family that he needs to match with him. That allows for marriage to even have its place. What is the specialness and holiness of a relationship between two people if those two people can just be anyone? If any man could marry any woman, it is specifically the element of exclusivity that creates this relationship. And lastly, in the story of Abram remarrying and also in the discussion about his offspring from Yashmahl, what is emphasized in this story is the fact that Abram gives everything that he owns to Yitzhak and to the other children he gives them gifts and sends them away to the East. Similarly, Yashmahl's offspring are alluded to as being descended from Hagar, who is the mead servant of Sarah, emphasizing on some level the hierarchy over here. That Sarah is the main wife and that Hagar is the mead servant. And this discussion can make us feel very uncomfortable in a world that values inclusivity in a world that values sameness, in a world that values softness over strength, kindness over boundary is gentleness. Sarah pushes us to get in touch with the mama bear that is inside each of us. The mother is always portrayed as soft and gentle and giving and kind and these are all true elements of motherhood, but the mother is also the fierce protector of her child. The mother is someone who can have empathy for other people's children, but she's still going to love and protect her own children more and both can exist. I think this is a tension that a lot of us struggle with. How do we reconcile feeling kindness towards everyone but also preserving energy for our own and also recognizing the necessity for strength and boundaries and protecting our own and even within our relationships with our own how there is a space for giving and kindness and gentleness and there's also a space for strength for making sure that we are giving in a way that it can be received, that we're giving in a way that the energy won't be siphoned off to be used for negative things, that the energy will only be able to be applied in a positive way because we're giving with intention and taking the recipient into account. The recognition that exclusivity does not imply superiority or abuse of others, but implies that every person has a unique purpose in this world and not everyone can do anything. If everyone can do anything, then what is special about anyone doing anything? By recognizing that we all have unique soul powers, by recognizing that we all have a unique space in this world, recognizing how even within Judaism, there are different categories. We have the call in the Lavinia Srell and each play their own unique individual role. We have men and women who play unique and individual roles within Jewish life. Children and adults are not treated the same. Children have the same level of obligation, don't have the same level of responsibility. It's specifically in our exclusive roles that we're able to get in touch with our deepest powers. So, it reminds us that we are allowed to protect what is ours without shame and without fear. We are allowed to protect our peace. We are allowed to protect our purity. We are allowed to cut ourselves off from that which pulls us away from God. We are allowed to invest our energy more into that which enhances our connection with God. And obviously, boundless kindness has its place. Boundless empathy has its place. We're just not talking about our own over here, so we're not emphasizing it, but restraint and boundaries and strength and judgment, which we so often look at as a bad word. We don't have their place. Making sure that every doubt energy is directed exactly where it needs to be.