Samara Weaving asks about unhinged moments

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And it's also really bright out until very late. Oh. Yeah. When I got out of my show at nine o'clock, it was just chirping. Yeah. It was just bright as the day and I was so confused and I was so tired and but yeah. It doesn't get dark until 10 or 10th or something like that. That was how it was in Stockholm. Yeah. It was dark at like 10.45 and then it was light again at like 3 a.m. It's wild. Yeah. But I slept pretty well last night. Oh, good. I was unconscious until about five minutes ago. Oh, really? Because I just can't fall asleep. So I, well, I could, but I don't. What are you doing at night when you're? Well, I'm eating snacks and I'm watching out last at the moment. This new show people have to survive in the jungle and but you have to be on a team in order to get the prize money so people are. You love to watch people survive. I love to watch people survive and suffer in the wild. Uncomfortable positions have to figure out how to live. But more importantly, what's an ax? Oh, man, I had sun chips, Oreos, an ice cream sandwich, birthday cake flavored. I mean, I really went to town. I mean, it's hot. And is this a, like how often are you having snacks, watching people survive? That's such a funny thing to think of all these people. Strong to serve the. Strong to serve the. And you're sitting at home just eating ice cream sandwiches. Yeah. And they're literally, they just ate a snake that they caught and it was the first protein that they'd had in days. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It is a crazy show. No, and what I'm left to my own device is that I have a hard time making the transition from into my bed. I'll just postpone it and just sit, you know, yeah. And I drove home late last night. That doesn't matter. Yeah. No, it doesn't. But it's good to know. But I was wired because I've been on the highway at like 11 p.m., which I rarely do. Yeah. It makes me really electrified. I do love that you're driving now. It makes me very happy. It makes me a little nervous. I'll say last night when I parked in Venice and I was like Austin Powers trying to park his little thing, I couldn't parallel park and I was bumping both cars on either side of me repeatedly trying to get in there. I was the worst person. And the guy walked by and I went, yeah, and he kind of lucked to me. He could. Yeah. Yeah. Did I tell you guys the time when I first moved to Los Angeles and I worked at that little Freitas coffee shop and I was standing out in the parking lot, which was very tiny. It only, I think it only fit like three cars. And I was, this is one of those like moments where I'm like, my head is so far in the clouds I can't even believe I didn't track what was happening. I was standing there talking to another comedian after there's a Thursday night comedy show at the coffee shop and I'm standing outside talking to another comedian and there's this car doing that little cowboy 50 point turn trying to get out between and I was like distracted talking to the comedian trying to help only to realize my car was what was in the way. Like, no, I could have just gotten in my car and moved it. And I made some comment to the comedian where I was like, I was like, oh god, I hope they don't like slam into my car and and they were like, that's your car, I was like, just move it. I was like, right. Oh, yeah, guys, I have to tell you something that happened last night. Oh, okay, please. I get a text. Do you know the actress, Patty Guggenheim? Uh-huh. No, Patty. I feel like we've talked about it with the role in the in the hawk in the golf show coming out. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. I think I do know I'm Googling now. But yeah. Okay. Well, I get a text last night before I went night night, Tigg, it's Patty Guggenheim. I have a message for you from a Lannis. No. Oh, yeah. Patty helped write a Lannis's, uh, uh, uh, uh, stay show, okay, oh my god, because the Lannis was doing like a Vegas thing or something. Okay. I don't have those details, but Patty works with a Lannis. Okay. So I'm like, what is this and then I press on it and it's this. Is that, is that Taylor Dane? Wait. Taylor Dane, okay. And that's from a Lannis. That's from a Lannis. Okay. Yes. And, um, I'm thinking out of all. And, uh, and I said, this is hilarious, but when you say a Lannis, I assume you mean Taylor Dane. Um, and she said, ha, ha, ha, no, a Lannis wanted me to send you this video of Taylor Dane. Oh my god. And so I only can think is another connection with a Lannis that made it and have. Okay. But this is, but this is so crazy, it's like she's trying to avoid you. It's like, I like to think of it like she's circling me like a shark and she's just picking up. No, she's not. She's avoiding your moment. Okay. No. May is not going to have a moment with a Lannis, I'm like trying to go to bed and a Lannis is blowing up my phone through a funny, good night. That's so funny. But we, uh, we fortunate and I, well, I have an Lannis update as well. So this is crazy. That's right. 'Cause you, yeah. So forcing Lannis, the fourth coast, I think we should, the amount we talk about it. And Kate McCoochee. Yeah. Kate McCoochee. They can like rotate out, uh, with each other and gender and gender for her. So I get to Largo and, you know, Fortune's doing my Largo show two nights ago. And, um, the tech guy at Largo, um, he and I have talked about a Lannis before. He tours with her sometimes and he, he does guitar tech and things like that. And so he goes, I got someone for you, kid. And then he brings this plastic bag into the, and he, and at first it's like just picks and stickers. And I was like, oh, cool. From the Lannis tour. That's so cool. Then he produces this. What is this? This is a small box, yes, it's the harmonica that she plays on tour for the song, one hand in my pocket. And no, let me tell you, and she now, like, where's my harmonica? She's alone. She's sitting to that. Someone stole my harmonica. I know. I was like, I thought how she gifted this to me, like, did you talk to her? And he goes, no, I just, I asked around and just took it from the drawer. And I guess they have hundreds of them, but she's played this on stage and it says, handed my pocket. But listen, even if it was labeled, if you've ever had any belief in, like, Mr. or energy. No, if it wasn't labeled, I would still, when I put in my hand, I felt a joy of energy, it is. She's powerful, but also keep in mind, she did not give that to you. I think she would sanction this. I would love it if she were listening to this right now, but I'm like, oh, and she is. Why is she soos me? Why is my her monica there? Can I play? I'm looking for that thing. Wait, but that's my favorite one. Atlanta's blew her spit into that though. I know, it's like we're kissing and she would run back and forth on stage. You've seen how she flies around harmonica. Wait, you're telling me she ran across a stage with that in her hand. Yeah, she like brings it while she's like, you know, running around as someone who's been on stage with her. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And I'm listening because I'm someone who cares about your friend texts from her. Oh, my God. She does play it as she goes across the stage. Can I have a confident walking, hair flowing back and forth? You know what? I used it. My parents used to, we used to go to Greece a lot in the summer. And there was a church there that had like an artifact from a saint. It had like the old skeleton toe of St. Spirit and it had an energy. And this feels like an artifact from a saint. Like it feels like I love it, Mae. It sounds like her. Okay. Can you get up and run around? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want to do it. I want you to hear my pocket. Yeah. Go to Hulu. Go to Hulu right now. I love this for you. I think it's going to just take you into a new realm of Mae's headphones weren't on when we were saying that. Oh, by the way, during that same show. During that same show. Yes. It was the most incredible moment because Mae has a thing where people will ask questions and Mae pulls out stuff. Yeah. Yeah. So with the audience rights question. Flanny was just like, I feel free to pull out anything if you want. I was like, Oh, really? Aren't they for Mae? And he's like, yeah, just pull one out. I'm like, okay. And it's like go on stage. I do a few jokes. And then I pull one out and it says, be more confident. I'm like, Jesus. Be more confident. Mae, what does that mean? They were telling Mae to be more confident. But it was like, okay, I was with ex all these exclamation marks. And I was like, Oh, just shit. It's like this is like stop yelling at me. You know? Yeah. Also, I, I'm always like, I know maybe I have some vulnerability, but like, I've never seen it. You couldn't go on stage if you weren't confident. That's right. There's got to be something to have. So from here on out, all of our fans and listeners need to accept us for exactly who we are. Oh, I like that. Yeah. We accept you exactly for who you are. Yeah. And let's just move forward with that. I think they just are doing our best. I think they're just probably really into Mae and just, you know, I think this may self deprecation sometimes. But I have a feeling if I actually was super confident, my career would end. They wouldn't like it. I think you're doing just fine. We all bring a little something special. Yeah. That's right. Okay. I hope that Alanis doesn't get mad that I have this. Oh, she's laughing. She's laughing if anything because it's pretty funny. Oh, man. She's going to call the Canadian police that don't care against the mountain. They're going to come on their horses. She'll probably reach out to Tig and talk about it. Oh, my God. She'll be like, how do you deal with that person? Oh, I'm going to text Patty. And I'm going to be like, guess what? Mae stole Alanis's harmonica pass it on. And it's confidently dancing around their office. I just love that Alanis is the through line of the handsome pod. Yeah. And I was also so I was I gave me a weird incorrect window into Patty where I was like, how out of touch is Patty that she thinks Taylor Dane is a Lannis Morissette. Oh, right. I thought she just got there. I thought she was like, Oh, look at a Lannis Morissette. And I was like, this is not a Lannis Morissette. Oh, so that that means a Lannis really has a knowledge of your work. That's right. That's a TIG classic. TIG classic. And I'm very familiar with a Lannis's work. Yeah, you are. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't have her harmonica yet. I mean, I'm just relieved she doesn't have your number to send you that directly. Oh, I'm going to get it. We're going to make sure that Alanis has our phone number. Yeah, I'm going to reach out to Patty. I'll take these digits along to Lannis. I just want if Lannis is listening, I want her to know what up girl. I just want her to know it's I wouldn't be weird. Like I, I, I, you know, I'm proving yourself wrong already. No, I know, I promise you won't be weird. I won't be weird, dude. That's like people that are like, I'm not a stalker. I'm not, I'm like, I'm not. And you're like, okay, so I don't, I don't fly off the handle. I just think that we would get along. We have a lot in common. And yes, she is like my, my Robert plant, my, my Zeus in a way. She said, God, I mean, that would make me weird. I would be a really fun cool. Again, as someone who's been on stage with her, I can attest that I, I, she provides such a soul connection when you look into her eyes that I had a tear roll. I'm not joking. Tear rolled on my face after locking eyes with her. She's a powerful woman. I was crying when I got her indirect text to Patty Guggenheim of, you know, Alanis' footage of Taylor Danes said to me when I was performing. Yes, some awards show or something. Yeah, it was an awards show. It blows my mind that Alanis owns a phone. It doesn't feel like, it feels like she would communicate telepathically. Oh my God. The other funny moment from the Lord, the Lord also revealed that you would not be a normal friend. If you can't even imagine that this woman would have a phone. I'm sending her smoke signals. Yeah. Checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance, not checking what type of fruit I cut up before packing snacks for my son soccer game. It was very sleepy this morning and mixed things up. 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I find myself reaching for my Quince jeans over and over again. Quince, I'm a fan. other funny part of the Largo night was, so fortune arrived after the show had started. So I was on stage and fortune was going to be on first and then did her set so funny, such a great set. And then later in the show, I was on stage and I felt this like presence in the wings and I look over and like flaney and Michael and you're staring at me. And these are all people that work at Largo and for staring. Lay down hardcore. Laming in the wings. And so I'm like, did I do something wrong? What's happening? And then they just come out and fortune's like, I have to go. So we should do the photo now and just take the photo on stage. They always do. It was really good. They were like, May really wants a picture. And I was like, I have to be up at 4 a.m. And they were like, they said May really wants a picture with you? Of all of them. Everyone. I wasn't like, guys. That sounds like May, if I know May. You know how they do the group picture at the beginning and it's nice to have. And I was like, well, I'm happy to do a picture of May's on stage and then they were like, I was like, what if I just stand in the wings and do a thumbs up with May and the background? I thought that was a good option. That would have been great. And they were like, or we just, like, you just go out there and take a picture of my set. They almost went during, you were full on talking about something, I go, let's like wait for a pause. Thank you. Thank you. But what if the applause never came? No, a pause. No. The pause for sure is coming. It was fun. I really liked it. It was fun. We had a really good crowd. It cracked me up. Yeah. May is beloved. Oh my god. Largo audiences are just so nice always. It's funny because there's certain comedians and performers that get so nervous to perform at Largo. Yeah. Really? Yeah. People are like, I find it to be the best wife. Oh, it's so great. But I feel like it has this, I don't even lore something or like. Yeah. Yeah. We're people. Oh my god. I can't believe I'm at Largo. I don't, you know, I feel like this audience might be like too, like snobby or sophisticated. No. Yeah. Yeah. They're such a great audience. Yeah. I felt super like starstruck by that venue when I first moved to LA. I think I'd seen Flanney the owner. I'd seen him interviewed in like Elliott Smith documentaries and stuff about Elliott Smith. So I was like, yeah, I blew my mind. Yeah. It's a cool place. It lives up to that. To that of your life. I got home that night or I went to parves I think that night and then I told parve your entire set fortune word for really in your in your accent. Yes. She loves the ginger anecdote. She loves it. I did like the whole set and we were crying laughing at your set. That's amazing. It was great. Yeah. That's so cool. I love that. You were talking about your European trip with her. Yeah. Yeah. And is that going to be part of your new material or is it just like an anecdote that you know? I don't know. I went on state because I didn't have a lot of new stuff to work out. And I hate like missing an opportunity to do a set and not put something in there new. So I just kind of chatted about it up top and I was like, there might be something here. I could because I do a whole bit about taking my mom on a gay cruise. So I feel like those things could be tied in. Yeah. Yeah. Also to Europe. And there's some, I mean, you got to tell the about the, uh, the carry on luggage baby. Just cooler bag is really a whole hour on your mother. You could do a one woman show about ginger. You should call it ginger. Ginger. Ginger. I mean, people would talk about it on. I know, but like you could actually do a whole hour show that would be like in her honor and people would just devour that, um, I'll produce it anyway. By the way, I just got a, um, I got a sauna because I want to be like, man, do you have a sauna? Have you used to end the tits of hot tub is being fixed. There's a lot going on. I do. So you went with fixing the hot tub and not your tits? You didn't, you didn't want to lower your tits. I felt it easier to do this than to fix my tits. Um, I got a little sauna, uh, and, uh, it's infrared. I'm very excited. Uh, I haven't, I haven't used it yet, but I've heard it's good for your heart health. Oh, it's good for everything. It, it's incredible. And if you use it like four times a week, your general longevity goes up like 40%. And also, uh, maybe you could do some spells in it. That's what I do. Oh, I don't, I've never cast a spell. Oh my. I would need your help with that. You might have to come over sometime and do some spells with tits out. Yeah. Like is that best? Yeah. Best, best to be flying free. Yeah. Well, so I wasn't sure. I was like, do I want to fix the tits, tits out hot tub? I do love it. It's called a tits out hot tub. So there's that. Oh my god. Yeah. You can sort of company for sure. Yeah, it's helping me do some interior design. He measured it and he goes, oh my god, this is, this bench is really high. I go, I know. That's why it's the tits out hot tub, the tits are out. And he goes, we need a nipsin hot tub. And I was like, I know. So we, we got to quote, and it wasn't too bad. So they are, they lowered it quite significantly though. No, it's the flutter, it's going to go up to like almost much. But I did do a, a bitch, at one bitch hires. So that if any short people come over, they won't drown. But I think I'll still call it the tits out hot tub though. Oh my god. Of course. Yeah. I just love the idea of you driving a van around that says tits out hot tub by fortune. Get out of comedy and get into hot tub and it's pretty funny. You had to pay for it though. The company should fix that I had to put, yeah, I should have to pay for it because it's a personal preference and it's a personal problem with your tits and my tits are low hanging fruit. So now it's going to be nipsin. It is funny though, on tour, how many people bring up the tits? I bet. It's the image is really striking. I was going to say there's no better thing to think about and I'm like flying through the sky, heading to a new town, I just think about fortunes tits out the tub. So what do you get? So what kind of, is it a barrel sauna? No, it's just the box, it's a two person. It's standing like three person, but there is no world in which three people would fit in that. Oh yeah. It's a two, a tour, an infrared that I can't have a friend join me if any of the handsome pod wants to go in there. What if they sit on your lap? Oh, three of us did it. One of us is sitting on a lap. Great. Let's do it. I'm okay with that. Put that on the list, Thomas. All three in. Triple sauna and then tits out the hands of sauna. Yeah. Yeah. But I think if you do it before bed, but you'll make it like the best time. Yeah, because it increases melatonin and stuff. Oh, okay. But you'll have to shower after something because you'll be, ugh, real sweaty. Yeah. You know, fortunate. I'm like the clean. I'm putting ficus up in front of it so that I can go in there, uh, cooter out. Yeah. So the paparazzi doesn't like, what's the one number of you aren't seeing this, you know? Well, I want to go cooter out in this thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Your backyard tits out cooter out. It's the ficus is better, the ficus is necessary. Trust me. Gams a blazing. Gams are gams to gams, cooters, tits, all going on in fortunes back yard. I'm a piece of meat in my backyard. A fat girl, a filet mignon. Anyway, that's what's happening in my life. Yeah. Very exciting. I'm just getting texts from Atlanta, so I'm about to have a weekend where I have never mind, actually. I have no plans. But then I remembered I'm going to go to a dike day at, uh, probably tomorrow, in the end in L.A. they do two different prides now in L.A. so I get very confused. They don't they have the West Hollywood. They have the West Hollywood one now, and then they have the L.A. one. They used to all be one and somehow the organization split. So now there's two, but I like that you're going to dike day. Yeah. I thought yeah, I'm going to go. I have a couple of single friends who want to go and so I'm going to go and try to make it. Yeah. Yeah. And try to sort of. And is dike day like, um, I think it's inclusive of just like, people with vaginas. I think it's like, the focus is like a fab people. I just started using that term a fab, it's a sign female at birth. Oh. So it's so it could be non-binary people. It could be. Is it like a bunch? - You're a type of situation? - No, it's literally just. - Yeah, just like, the way West Hollywood's kind of more gay guy focused, this is more like, yeah. - I see. - I went one year and it was, it's the way, like West Hollywood is like, and this is like, barbecues, dogs. - Everyone's reading. - Kids run over each other. - Not barbecued dogs. - Barbecued dogs, barbecued space. - Yeah, you know, classic, dyke, you know, barbecued dogs. - No, they're over there rescuing dogs, if anything. - Oh, I have something cool. - What? - Well, so I had, I had followed this, I saw on Instagram this thing that was lesbian, oil wrestling. And they do have events that look really cool. And I followed them, so then they DM me. And I said, "Wait, for you to wrestle?" - Yeah, they just said, "Thanks for the follow." And then I said, "When's your next event?" I wanna come, it looks like a party. And they go, "We'll have one." They messed it back. They said, "We'll have one whenever you want to have one. "We'll organize one." - That sounds like a May party if I've ever heard it. - I was gonna say, this is like. - So I said, I don't, I don't, I just wanna come watch. Like I don't wanna, you don't wanna end my for co-produce. But then they just emailed me and they said, "Would you like to MC the lesbian oil wrestling event "in LA on July 3rd?" And I said, "Of course." I said, "Can Parvity and I co-MC it?" - Oh, that's special. - And can we also wrestle? And they said, "Yes." So we're gonna, we're getting to. - I'm sorry. - I might have to go to this. - What is this? - July 3rd, will you come? - I'm not gonna mail it off. - I don't know if I'll be in town. - I don't know what the vibe is. - I guess I could helicopter in. - I don't think? (laughing) - I don't think it's like an orgy, I think it's legit. - No, I don't think anyone's a wrestling arena. - What do you mean you don't think it's an orgy? I wasn't even thinking of it. - I wasn't thinking of it. - Oh, oh, oh, oh my god, class of May. And by the way, I don't think that barbecue is gonna be an orgy. - May is like, at what point are people doing it? - But I just like the idea of getting that aggression out in a safe arena. Everyone covered in oil. Like there's something really fun about it. I think anywhere, mouth guards and stuff, and you just, I throw down. - That sounds like it. - Throw down. - Throw down. - I really don't want to be living hell. - Really, living, you know, I don't like to be oily either, but I think I could get over it if it. - People would pay big bucks to see you in poverty, oil, wrestling. - Oh my god. - People would pay big bucks to see you just oil your body down. - I think the poverty is gonna destroy rest. - Oh, yeah, of course. - It's a boy, it's a rip. - This is a pretty good internet kind of video. You need to put it online after. - I think I'm gonna start working out now, and I'm gonna. - What? - 'Cause you're already super fit. - Yeah, don't know how to work out. - I mean, I've seen her, like in a competitive situation, I've seen her like- - You've seen her survive on an island. - Yeah. - I started, she like, I've seen her like dislocate someone's shoulder by accident on my survive. Or maybe that wasn't her, I think that was her friend, but she can throw down. - Yeah. - And she's got like a strong center of gravity, and I'm a bit of a noodle, so I'm gonna really, I'm gonna start. - Well, I think July 3rd might be too soon, then. - Yeah, can we move this? - Can we move this? - Yeah, maybe in July? - Yeah, yeah, no, July 3rd, it's gotta be. - Oh, and then fortune and I could do commentary. - That's right. - You guys will be like the two muppets. - Yeah, while you're wrestling, we could, oh my gosh, we have to do it for a live stream. - Yeah. - Yes. (laughing) - I don't know. I think I want this to be like, fight club. I want this to be just for the memories. - Well, it would just be for the live stream. We don't have to put it out anywhere else. - If you're doing it just for the memories, then just like, oil yourself up and down and do it at home. - I think that atmosphere is gonna be electric, so I'm gonna do this whenever you want. - We're gonna emcee throughout, and then I think we'll wrestle at the end. - But I think the people who participate are like, really good at this. - Yeah, I was like, keep us posted. - I will, I will for sure. - Should we get to our question? - Let's do it. - Yeah, I'm gonna think about this. - Yeah, thinking about may get null oiled up, and I'm thinking about fortune's tits out, which is my normal go to. - We're doin' a lot of people some good stuff today. - They really are. (upbeat music) - Today's question ask her is an Australian actor and model who's starred in movies like Ready or Not, Caroline, Caroline, Babylon, and Scream 6. Samara Weaving is asking today's question. She and I are Instagram friends. - Oh yeah? - Yeah, and she seems so funny and cool. - Is it she Australia? Oh yeah, you said Australia. - Australia? - Yeah, should I do a Australia? - I was gonna say, here it comes. Shed of Alopeas, Razer Blades. - Don't come for me, Tony Colette. - Hello, I had some pot. Sam Weaving here. I am absolutely honored to ask you a question. I'm a huge fan of all of you. Wolfie Wolfington's. Okay, my question today is, what is the most unhinged thing you've ever done? Where you're going, this wouldn't say. I've lost my mind, but I did it. Can't wait to hear your tales. - Oh wow, I do love the Australian accent. - What was that last thing she said? - Can't wait to hear your tales. - Oh, oh, oh. - I can't wait to hear your tales. - Can't wait. - Can you wait to hear your tales? - Well, gosh, that's gonna take me a minute to think of. 'Cause I don't consider myself an unhinged person. - Yeah, I love the word unhinged is so specific. So this is not like regular anecdotes that we've shared on the pod. This is like something that you're a little bit like what does this say about me. - Right, right. Maybe you guys have one off the top of your heads. - Off the top of your tits out. (laughing) - I think I, I mean, yeah, I think I have like a chit. - Oh God. - Yeah, I love it. - This is pretty unhinged. - That laugh please me to believe something's coming our way. - I'm thinking how to, how to phrase it. - Okay. - Well, so just pretend like we are you're much needed therapists. - Yeah, okay, okay. So I guess. (laughing) - This is, oh my God. So I've had like multiple sort of erotic experiences during massages. And whenever I tell people them it will, so the first time I was 19, I was in Nepal. - What do you mean the first time you were 19? - Oh no, the first time this happened, I was 19 and I was in Nepal and some stuff went down with the masseuse and I was sending, I was giving off signals and then he was like, what are the signals? - Yeah, how does one do this? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You're on the table, you're on the table. - I'm on the table, he would, - And you're going in wanting to give signals? - No, no, well now, sometimes. - You probably have to see if you feel the vibe with whoever the masseuse person is. - How do you feel the vibe? Because a masseuse is like giving, I don't want to come across like a creep on this part of this. - Too late, too late. - I have another question. Is it usually a man or a woman or both? - Who cares, you're putting the vibe up for? - I've had both, but so this was, I mean like when I was 19, this is when it started and the door was kind of open was, I was 19 and this guy was kind of testing the waters by like, going up very close to the area, you know? - Oh, okay. - And he was super handsome and I hadn't had sex in months and I was like, I went back, that's what it was. I went back for a massage like the next day. - Oh yeah. - I think that gave him the signal and then I was like breathing in sync with him and whatever, he ended up going down on me. That was, and then afterwards, I told people, and they, so I told them it was horrible. - I thought he was gonna like put a finger in, I didn't think he was going full mouth. - Guys, guys. - Full mouth is like very personal from behind. - Guys, level, I was the face down. - Guys, what is happening to our innocent podcast? - Is this too much? - Thomas is hiding his face. I've never seen that happen. - This was just the, I mean, the lead into the reel, I'm in stone. - Oh yeah. - Okay, okay, okay. - This isn't even it. - We'll let you continue. - I think we stop here. - No, no, no. I think we have to continue. - Oh my god. - This might be a very bad moment in the car. - Turn it off for a little, wait a minute. How on earth does that go from massage, does he ask? - Yeah, he said, this was a weird experience. This was not, like, so I was, and I was in Nepal. He didn't speak English and he basically was like, the second time I didn't oh my god anyway it doesn't matter but he said he said a funny phrase okay he said this too sometimes also good and then I said what and then he said is it okay and then he started going down a music I come in 10 seconds because I was like I was already ready to go and I was like this is to sometimes also good well there's two sometimes also good so he wasn't down there long no because I it was like I was it worked I work for you and then we and then he asked me on a date we made out a bit then he asked me a date and then I didn't go on the date oh and then he emailed me I'd given his email and then he said that he wanted to get married he wanted a Canadian passport and then I thought how many tourists have you and anyway so this went from this to sometimes also good to will you marry me yeah for a passport I wasn't planning on sharing that one and this is not the unhinged one we need to get to the unhinged one but the reason I told that one is like after that experience I I skipped out of there feeling great yeah and then I would tell people about it I was like oh my god and they were like are you okay or like they were like oh wow that's kind of bleak and I was like I feel good but now I'm absorbing your thing about it yeah but I went that that's fine I don't think I do and and because I have had it happen to friends before she was very into it it happened yeah not the num num num part but oh my god what did she have a finger oh okay so so then cut to I do not give off those vibes if I'm being either I would be like bummed I'd be like I actually want massage can you please stop oh yes for sure that I mean most massages I have it's regular massage but sometimes I like I'm a very like my whole body is an erogenous zone like I you know and I get relaxed and there's something so nice about not having to perform or like try to be hot you're just lying down anyway so cut to the unhinged experience was because I thought that was the pinnacle I'll never have that again and I think about it frequently yeah and then I got on an app I got booked a masseuse and I was in so there's a masseuse app there's multiple masseuse app but is this an app with that you're going on with the hopes of more happening or it's a little yeah this two sometimes also good dot com yeah no I was just I wanted a massage I was super tired I was on tour okay and the masseuse came to my hotel room and he's this this giant man he's like six foot five like muscular the first thing that happened was he did he mentioned it was his birthday and I thought and he said yeah I I wasn't gonna work on my birthday but I'll I thought I'd take the job and anyway I was thinking this guy's what if you just immediately started singing happy birthday happy birthday and anyway long story short I ended up yeah having like tantric sex with this humongous man uh for for three and a half hours in the hotel room and then um and then he and it was one of the wildest experiences of my life it was memory it was so connected like I know and then afterwards I I've only told a few people this and a fact I swore to myself I don't know what I don't know what is wrong but I run hinged I do simply unhinged just you think it's crazy I mean listen we use I think you're a very safe and we are actually consenting adults I mean to be honest I was the one driving the encounter like it wasn't you drive the encounter yeah I had to have some follow-up questions yeah how does how does this how does this go down that start going down that road yeah well I think what he expected I'm sure he's done this before I mean first of all this was I know he has yeah this was the most amazing massage of my life like he he was a gifted bodywork like healer like he's giant hands and he's like breathing and I start breathing and in sync with him and he's playing this music and so he was like a really brilliant missus that feels like it's a it's it's that's what you do is you start breathing at the same time yeah the breathing is start to come up a few times here I have this guy working with out the dong oh but you don't want the dong experience of this and I want footage of you face to face with a large man saying exactly that sentence just I like the massage just no dog please well so so okay I'm breathing in sync yeah then he's like whatever he's like is this is he asked consent multiple times because I'm like I'm literally I'm like my energy is like please go further with this like I'm like yeah so then that happens again I come like all because he's like touching he's like touching things he starts touching things yeah yeah on your body on my body after about half an hour of like massaging I need and then and then and then he's like gonna just keep massaging or wrap up the experience but then I was like literally begging him I was like please let me take you to my bed and he was like okay wow I was like took him by the hand took him to my bed really took control I would love to see you leading a giant man by the hand to your bed yeah it is great not is just a wonderful and then and then I was three hour three and a half hours yeah it was like it was well that's it that's like an alley alley no no no it wasn't it wasn't like it was crazy it was just like it was honestly I it was like it was pretty well yeah what may it was what it was just pretty wild and very sensual very connected like it was and then afterwards are there any breaks not really how we a lot of it well he'd go back to massaging and stuff but then anyway I felt conflicted about it after only because of what he left and I was like am I out of my fucking mind who was this person and I'm in the hotel room and like I and then I thought if I just internalize like societies because that was that was I was that's the type of porn I want I felt like I was in my dream fantasy of like one of many dream fantasies of different dynamics but that's one for sure what if he walked out of your hotel room and behind the door he just heard you say oh god no it wasn't I don't think I've done anything for three and a half hours yeah the craziest thing was then I texted my friend who I was on tour with and I said I like I had a moment of panic after I'm just like am I like I don't know what's wrong did you give him five stars oh yeah yeah I did and but for real no you weren't there was no owie at any point you're like no question fortunate it wasn't a lot of question thank you it wasn't three hours of penetrative like pounding it was like I mean that's one thing no it was like tantric it was like I can't even share what I what came to mind for me that was unhinged at this point oh no this is not a path you're going down to yeah it's like I'm listening to your story and I'm like how do I even share like we are so boring oh my god no I want to hear yours I feel like I'm I'm having regret about sharing it but I shouldn't know there's no this is a no judgment zone we laugh because we're a silly a silly pod yeah I think everyone yeah I'm sex positive I think sex positive we know that about you this guy was the most respectful can like I love that like communicative and and if anything I was the one driving the experience you know listen we could all learn from this fella yeah really be central and may we we support your endeavors thank you as you're good and you're safe that's all we care about it was interesting though like the the flash of anxiety afterwards and I was like where does that come from because I litter I objectively just had one of the best times in my life like that was crazy and then afterwards I was like oh god but then why but I those days might be through for me I you know when I'm in a relationship I'm yeah yeah we might be able to apply some of that into your current situation you know very much absolutely I have never - I've never been in a tantric situation. That just seems like a long time to do anything. - I think on a fronter, I need water, I'd need snacks. - You could stop for water. - I need a break, I might kill the mud. (laughing) - Unless you ate the snacks off of somebody. - Yeah, true. - Here's what came to mind for me. It was, when I was in junior high school, I was, you know, cutting up in class, as I did. With a friend or two, and we got sent out of science class to sit in the hallway. That was the punishment. But our classroom was at the very end of the hallway, where the bathrooms were, and where the doors, like they had exit doors at the end of the hall near the bathroom. And we were sitting in the hall, and I said to my friends, what if, while we're out here, we go get a bunch toilet paper and toilet paper, the school. And so, we went into the bathroom, grabbed all of this toilet paper and during school hours, we were just toilet papering the trees and bushes out. - While people were just in their classrooms, we looked at the window. - And then another teacher came out of the classroom and caught us mid going in and out of the school. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, that felt a little unhinged, but nothing compared to that. - Yeah, when did it get dentured? - Yeah, when did the alley part happen? - I know, it's like, you know, I was, I was the kid that was up to some stuff, but not, but there's real boldness there to be like, I'm already in trouble and I could get caught at any moment. I'm gonna implane sight. - I lived my life as a kid thinking like, I'm not like killing anybody. - Yeah. - Like that's how I would make decisions. I'd be like, is it murder? - If not, then fine. - Yeah, I'm not like killing anybody. - Yeah. - Anyway. - Did you get in big trouble, were you suspended? - I wasn't suspended, but, you know, I can't remember. I was all, there was always something going on, you know, that was just another one where it's like, oh my God, she's toilet papering the school, during school hours, and it's like, but why would you send the kids that are acting that way in class out into the hallway to sit alone? - Yeah. - It's like what we're just gonna then start behaving ourselves. - Yeah, your punishment is you can't be in class. - Yeah. - For what about you? - Well, that was equally as exciting as May's. (both laughing) Ah, you know, I've always been like, too responsible for my own good. Like, I didn't even like really allow myself to be unhinged in my younger days, and do those wild things you're kind of supposed to do when you're younger. I would say the most unhinged thing I probably did was, I just was like lonely a lot when I was in high school. I had a lot of friends. I was friends with different groups of people, but I think because I was friends with a lot of different groups, like sometimes I would be included in things, and sometimes I wouldn't, because you just aren't clocking people as much when you're kind of the person that's going throughout the groups. And, you know, back then I was no shade, but I was left home a lot by myself on the weekends. So once I was old enough to start driving, I would just kind of drive around town, and like, drive by my friends else to see, like, I don't know what I was looking for if I thought, like, they would magically come outside and be like, come hang out. - Yeah. - No. - So you wouldn't know. - I felt psychotry. - Yeah, 'cause would your heart rate go up a bit 'cause you knew you were being a little sketchy. So you were, yeah, you were stalking your friend. - Yeah, I was like, it's fine. I wanna hang out. No one's asking me to hang out tonight. And then I did actually drive past the friend once, and she lived on the dead end street. She was like, what are you doing? I was like, ah, oh my god, you're in my house. - I just wanna be your friend. - I don't know if you wanted to hang out or anything. (laughs) - And you did hang out? - No, I think she was like, I'm going home to bed. I was like, great, great. - I'm going where everyone else is hanging out without you. - I just wanted to hang out, I would have said so. - I was just like a little bit of a wayward soul at times. So. - It's funny. - I just had it quite found my confidence yet, and just call your friend and be like, do I hang out? Like, what are you doing? - Boy, did we all have very different levels of unhinged. (laughs) - I mean, yeah, I never got crazy drunk or anything. I mean, I told you, I already told you that one time I had a party at my house for my friends. - Yes. - 18th birthday with the stripper with the acne on his butt. That might be the most undefeated. - Yeah. - I had a high school where it was just a bunch of girls. - Covering their face while this acne butt guy's like grinding his pointed wiener on him. - Pointed. - It was, remember it was, I don't remember it was like, it was like crooked. - Oh, okay. - I think he had something in his speedo to make it look bigger. - Yeah, so that was my little toe dip of being wild was hosting that party. And then I didn't really drink in college. I was pretty boring. - Yeah. - So college days, I don't have all these like wild stories that some people have. - Mm-hmm. - And then I think I got drunk in L.A. once at a Halloween party where I was wearing a hooters out fit, and I did crawl across the floor at one point in my hooters outfit. - Like sex at a roll. - That's hilarious. - Oh my God. - That is so funny. - And that was maybe the extent of my wild days. - And I shouldn't have regret about sharing that, you think. - No. - I don't think you should regret at all. You're living your life. - Yeah, and also I'm pro sex work too. It's like, this guy felt like a healer, honestly. - Uh-huh. Anyways. - He healed you. - He healed me. In fact, I told him that after and he was like, okay. - You said you healed me? - I said you are like a wizard. And I was like, you're like a very gifted. Like, and he was like, anyway. - You're like a wiener wizard. - Yeah, yeah, no, we had a good lull. We had a good laugh. - All right, should we hear Samara's question? - I mean, the answer? - Mm-hmm. - Okay, before I tell the story, you must know, my husband is a picky eater, and there's no real logic to it. Like, he likes cheese on pizza, but doesn't like cheese on pasta. And like, we'll have nuts in a candy bar, but then like, no nuts on the salad. Like, it's just a bit illogical. Which drives me a bit nuts. Also, if you were like gonna invite me to a soirée of some kind, and then you hear this story, and you go, you actually never mind. I went mad, I went insane. Okay, I'm unhidden. I went unhidden. This is not in line with my principles as a person. Okay, here we go. So we were at a picnic, and my friend offered us all walnut and chocolate cookies. And Jimmy, my husband, said, oh no, I'm allergic to walnut. And I just went, no, you're not. No, you're not just saying you don't want it because you're a weird picky eater. And he was adamant. He doubled down. He was like, no, I'm allergic. And I just knew in my heart that he wasn't. And so that night, I was making dinner. And I ground up walnuts. Oh my god, like laughing. Like this could potentially kill him. But I knew it wasn't gonna, he wasn't gonna die. I just knew that he was lying. Round up walnuts, giggling, sprinkles in. I didn't know. Watched him eat it like a crepe. And then when he finished, I waited like 10, 15. He was, and I went, ha, you know, allergic to walnuts. But it was, I remember feeling at the time, like this is, I'm, this is the same. That's hilarious. That's unhinged. That is unhinged. And then he was a baby with me, so he's locked in. Wow. He probably was like, what? I know. Ah, ah, ah. Oh my god, that is-- That could have gone a very good way. They could have gone way. Super south. Cutting him in the hospital, oh my god. But when she says she knew in her heart and got, I believe that, yeah, that is, but there must have been a moment when she was grinding them up where she just thought, what have I become? That's good. Yeah, but it is, it's funny. When you know somebody's so well, and you know, when they're answering something or responding to something, you're like, I don't know what's up. Yeah, I know, it's up. Well, that was. - I mean, we really went to a new place with each other. - You really treated. - Mainly with May. - I know, I've really overshared and I'm sorry if you're listening and you fast-forwarded those parts. - No, no, no. - Edge of our seats, all of us. Even though it looks like it's changing, you know? - Yeah. - What's coming up for you guys, June 30th is tall. - I don't wanna brag, but my birthday is tomorrow, July 1st. - Oh my God, of course. - How old are you? - Maybe 45? - No, four and a half, four and a half, four and a half. - We can hear you. - Oh, my God. - So, coming, so I, what just happened? - I'm in a hotel and it's time for me to check out. So I'm not doing stand-up for a minute 'cause the hawk is coming out July 16th on Netflix. But back in August, I'm gonna be in West Hampton and Foxwood Casinos in Connecticut, Red Bank, New Jersey, Provids Town, Massachusetts, Greenville, South Carolina, Wilmington, Boise, Portland, Oregon, Austin, Dayton, Louisville, Durham, tons of places. So check out my website, fortunepeers.com. - I am on tour and I will see you in Colorado Springs. I will see you in Rochester and Calgary. I'll see you in Omaha, Oklahoma City, Cincinnati, Charleston, West Virginia. The list goes on in O Fresno. Napa, Tignotaro.com. That's where you can get all the show details. There will be more shows added and I am going to be hitting bigger cities at some point. But this is where you can see me now, Tignotaro.com. Hi, I'm July 17th in Guelph, Ontario, playing music at the Hillside Festival. And then I'm in Yellowknife playing music on the 18th, 19th, I think. And then I'm back at Largo on July 29th. - Love it. - That's pretty much it. - Great. Make sure to rate, review and subscribe. It's so important for the show. We're also on YouTube and one day in advance on Hulu. Also go to handsomepod.com for all the wonderful merch. May we'll play us out. Until the next time, keep it, keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feemister, Tignotaro and May Martin. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Hulett, email us at [email protected] and follow us on social media @hansomepod. - What a podcast. - What a podcast. - What a podcast. - What a podcast. - That was a hitgun podcast. - Checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that my mom's luggage is in good working order before flying her out on a trip. Big mistake. Now instead of seeing the sites, we're shopping for a new roller bag. - Yeah, checking first is handsome. You're in good hands with all state. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. All state, North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbroke Illinois.