Sal Vulcano Is Shocked This Is On YouTube | Your Mom's House Ep. 845

- Welcome, welcome, welcome to your mom's house. - Hi everybody. Thank you, welcome to your mom's house. With me is Selville Cotto, everybody. - Thank you. - We were talking about Kevin Leonardo who shaves his ass and dooshes himself and it's considered educational on YouTube and you have two children. - Yeah, yeah. - And I was just telling you before we started, I don't let my kids on YouTube 'cause I know that this guy's on. - I thought they didn't have stuff like this, but-- - Oh, they do? - Yeah. So he's gonna let us know what he's letting me say. If I was interested that, what's he doing? - Here's what you're gonna learn, Sam. How to safely finger your butt. Go ahead, let's see how to safely, 'cause it's so dangerous. - Your butt is a really good way to loosen up before sex, more specifically receptive anal sex, more specifically, more specifically-- - I don't like his intonation and his inflections and the way he speaks, just right off the-- - Well, what are you talking about? - He's annoying, he's annoying. - He's annoying, he's speaking. It has an effect to it. - Yeah, it's gay. - It's not just speaking. - No, it's not a gay, no, it's not that it's gay. It's like, he's just like, it's like, it's a mattress. - Is it? - It's a mattress. - It's like, here's how you get a thing? I'm gonna tell you how to do that. - Yeah. - And that, and that. It's like, you know what you're doing. You know you're being a creeper. - Yeah, if you're a friend of his or in his life, and that's what you have to listen to, every time he opens his mouth, that's a lot. I mean, he might be a nice enough guy, but he's like, (imitates gunfire) - You're absolutely right. I can hear him being a friend at the coffee house. I'm like, I'm actually kind of out of it. I was like, I wanna have fuck out, I wanna have fuck out. (imitates gunfire) I'm telling you the life story and the removing butt hairs using their cream of it. - Oh my god, this is YouTube. - Yes, babe. - No, that's not. Well, why are you doing me like that, man? Are you kidding me, bro? I was not ready to see a full open crash. - Welcome to your-- - Come on, I was taking this one down. - I'm terrible. - But this was the original one that she was referencing. - Yeah, this is how we got into the world. - All right, I thought it was gonna be blurt or something. We just saw it directly in his ass. - Bro. - Bro. - I wasn't ready for that. - Bro. - Oh, I didn't know this was on YouTube. - Yeah, dude. Again, can you spell the name of his channel? (laughing) - Oh my god, dude. - Oh, dick. - There's no-- - Oh, it's disgusting. - But look how smooth that is. - No, no, look at it. - You didn't see a smooth. - I don't think you can see it. - You didn't even see the results. - Look how smooth. - I can't look again. I can't look again. I can't look again. I can't look again. Look, it's, look how smooth. Oh my god. I-- - Look how well that nero works. - That is, that is, that is, that's a, that's intrusive, man. I don't wanna see that. - But like, I don't like that he has to show you the wipe. Like, bro, we get it. - It's just, I'm, I-- - But did you see his behold and how clean it was? Please just look. - I can't see it. I just put the spell on his behold. - I'm just gonna see if I look, I won't forget the image. - It's okay. - And I already got enough of the image. - But imagine it's a woman's behold. 'Cause that's what it looks like. - I can't. I can't. I'm not an idiot. I can't just imagine it's a woman's, it's disgusting. I, you know, I, I, I might have told you guys on this show before, but I have a weak constitution. - Right. Yeah. Yeah. - What do you mean? - Well, I can, I, I, I, I, I, if I look at that, I could, I could throw up. I really could throw up. - And do you wanna know something crazy? - Yeah. - I have a severe phobia of vomiting. So if you were to do that-- - Yeah, it would be like, stand by me. - If it was everyone just stopped vomiting. - This would be the worst episode ever. - Oh my god. That was, I cannot believe that's on YouTube out there. - I know. - Wow. I thought they just did like unboxings. - Yeah. Me too. - He basically just unboxed his ass hole. (laughing) - Boxing. - Oh my god. - Differing that. - That was like too intimate. - There was too. - No one has shame anymore. - I know. - I can't believe he just did that. I can't believe he just did that. That's not even behind a paywall. - Bro. - Nobody has any pain. - Behind a paywall. I know what you know. - It's weird. You can see him in the wild and be like, "I watched you near your butthole in 4K." - I think about that all the time. Like the people that we feature on this show, they have lives. There's people that they talk to every day. They ride a bus. They're on the subway next to you. You never know. - Yeah. - You never know. - Well, it's just like, you never know people are into. Like, Jay-Z is Satanic. Did you know that he's eating babies? - I heard that. - Nicki Minaj came out. Can you believe that? - No, that's crazy, dude. - What? - Like her, like, she's just, I don't know. I didn't know she was like, like, so hard. I saw a post day, like, his hardcore, like, Christian rather than-- - Oh, yeah. Oh, well, you know, I will say that. - Quote in the Bible and-- - Yeah, but when fighting guards-- - Not as bad as we're the wild, but like, she, like, her of all people is like, now that she's like yelling at us about Christ. - Yeah, why now? I wonder why now she's choosing to. I mean, do you think it's true that people eat babies in Satanic rituals? Is that real? - I would like to believe that's not real. It feels a little bit crazy, you know, but I don't know what's in these files, either. They keep eluding to some crazy stuff. (inhaling) So, you know, honestly, to me, the butthole was worse. (laughing) (laughing) - I'm Steve Files and Satanic. (laughing) My question with the Satanic baby eating is like-- - That can't be real. - Well, you're such a high profile person. How do you keep that secret? - Right. You're taking a big swan. - Your circle is so big. - Yeah. - Word gets out. - I mean, Tom and I, yeah, like we make a silly video for the podcast and TMZ picks that up. - Right. - And it's like, how are you, and we're not that level of famous? Yeah, you're really, you're really into baby eating. - If you're like, I gotta do this. - Yeah, I-- - Satan requires. - That can't be, that can't be a human on this planet that's gonna do that, right? That's what I think, but then I've had people in the music industry, just between you and me. Tell me that, it's true, years ago, my friend was like, there's Satanists in the music business, yeah. - Yeah, but what does Satan mean eating your kit, or eating a person? Why does that, can't you just be a Satanist and just be like, mean? - No, no, no, because you have to be an asshole. Like, hope for bad things or something. Why are you eating a human? - 'Cause you derive your power from Satan and you have to give Satan sacrifices so that Satan will bless you with power. It's like, pray, if you pray to God, God will favor you. Theoretically, that's what they believe. That's what Tanner told me in Tanner's Satanist. - They believe him. - They gotta, they believe that they have to do spiritual things in order to get, like, get power. - Yeah, like ritual sacrifice, like Satan requires it. - Sounds like, like a lunatics. - Yeah, lunatics, yeah. - But Jay-Z is such a good rapper. - Oh, Jay-Z eats them. - Yeah. - Allegedly. - Allegedly. - I don't believe that. That I don't believe. - I don't know. - I don't think so. He's from Brownsville, he, I don't know. - Brownsville, Texas. - No, is anybody from Brooklyn? (laughing) - He's from Brownsville. - I don't, I don't know, man. I mean, that's truly, that's truly horrific. - He doesn't seem like the baby eating type. - I don't think he is, but there was that whole thing where like, you order a pizza and you get a kid or something like that. - Yes, code names. - A couple of years ago, they said like, I remember my niece came into the house one time. I was visiting my parents and my niece came to the house. She goes, I can't so upset. I'm like, why? She's like, did you hear, what's the blonde lady who's mean to everybody? - Which one? - She's a talk show. - She's super famous. Ellen. - Oh yeah, the real and real life. - Yeah, yeah. - She comes in, she's like, oh, did you hear about this? Ellen and Oprah, like, drink the blood of children and whatever, I'm like, what are you doing? So damn, I'm like, I don't think Ellen and Oprah drinks the blood of children. But now here we are, a few years later, you're telling me Jay-Z just chomps on them like their apps. That's what I'm hearing. And also a Dreena Chrome, have you heard this? - What is that Hollywood thing I were gonna get? - Is that, like, taking people's essence and drinking that? - It's, okay, it's supposed to be the adrenaline of like a child, they'll take the adrenaline. That's why they scared, I'm telling you, the dark virality of a Hollywood blood harvesting. They're people? I don't know. - Is it, if this is real, I am gonna walk out here in a pit of despair. - It's self, but self, doesn't it blur mine? There's people like you and me and showbiz who are so, like, far, like my excitement today was that I drank this long time. - Yeah, I had like, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh my god, I'm crazy, like a Dreena Chrome. - I know. - And like, just be happy with your money. Like, just stay home. - Yeah, it's just, what happens in their brain? What switch is flipped? - We talk about this all the time. - Yeah. - I think, what my theory with fame and evil is like, you were evil before you got famous and then the fame just amplified. - And unleashed it. - And now you've got the resources to be a piece of shit. - Yeah. - That's why like, in superhero lore, like, for instance, like Batman and such, like, they're humbled by their orphans or they have something humble in the beginning of their lives that makes them like an inherently good person. So when they get power, they're not pieces of shit. But I don't know, GZ had a bad childhood. - I don't know what you think. - I mean, but that theory doesn't work. - Was his uncle shot by a burglar or something before he got wrapping sheep up a house? - I don't know. That was dad. - Oh, man, I don't know. I mean, honestly, if that's something that comes to life, those people just put, I mean, given that that's penalty. I don't give a shit. - Who for, he's straight to hell. - I know they're like, I mean, they're probably messed up. They're probably psychotic and should be locked up, but you can't be doing it. I mean, it's like. - Yeah, straight, straight. - Yeah, I thought we could have a like, a light conversation today. - No. - I took away Mo here. I told him to go away Mo. - We'll talk about that later. I know we haven't even done the opening clips out. And I know you're like, food. We're gonna talk about some disgusting things that you enjoy eating, but before that. Here's our opening clip. Are you ready? Here you go. Day nine in a Vina Rose potato every day in 2026. Cheers. Oh, she's mine. Oh, it's Randy. I'll bring in one mother. Here we go. His mouth was so moist. He's got some teeth on it. You know what I mean? I assume that maybe it's fake. But like, do you know what that chain says? Oh, Vase it's backwards. It says bevo bevo, I can't tell even even when you said it, I can't tell. What does bevo mean? Probably his name. Yeah, he saw it says read me. I'll read it. Bevo is an internet personality who got famous for looking like a beaver. Oh, so he embraces it. He went and got a chain made up. Wow. Bevo has taken this challenge of eating a potato every day. He is currently on day 19. Yeah, did you hear all that? Oh, yeah, that was the worst part. Yeah, I don't think eating a potato every day is inherently bad. It was his mouth and his saliva. Yeah, he had a wet. It was like, it was wet chompers. Listen to it again. Big white chompers. Day nine, ain't every day in 2026. Cheers. Listen. Oh, God. He looks like an animated live action animated at the same time. How does he look like he looks like like a Pixar character and a human at the same time? What why is that such a big challenge to eat a bite of potato every day? Not a bite, an entire potato. Yeah, a whole potato. But it looks like he's got to put all the shit on it too. I can't just be like a potato with salt. He's got to load that thing up. But what's the challenge? I don't even get I don't get it. Like why is that what like who's gonna who's gonna like who's who's he who's he really like rope roping in here. I'm not gonna be like I got it. I gotta watch this guy eat a potato 365 times. It's like no, you can't prove it. No, you can't gov not I can't eat a bang every day. Yeah, like who fucking cares? The time has finally come. It's Super Bowl 60 this weekend. 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This is the biggest non-challenge internet challenge It's also a drag like if I had to eat a potato every day like think about it every where you go Like you can't go on make hate like you had to be like I got to find a part to eat like you know what I mean That's true if you're traveling. It's a travel day. You're like I've got to find a potato in the airport Do people have like that much like like free time in their lives that he could take on the challenge of eating a full potato Every day and recording it is like Is there more footage of him eating like do we have an explanation like does it have to be loaded? Does it have to have cheese? Well, what is it? Let me pull up his face stupid. I will say though. He's only on day 19 He's made it to you You know what I mean like this is this is the place like he's made it You know, it only took him 19 days. He's succeeded because here's the deal man like There's shit that I really like that. I think I have eaten 19 days in a row like there was a sandwich in England A curry chicken mango chutney sandwich. I ate it every day for about a semester. So what is that like fucking 90 days? McDonald's easily I could eat McDonald's every day and I think I did in the summer of 1997 like yeah It's not that fucking hard. Didn't that guy die? That he ate McDonald's every day. Yeah, it's a shame Not like like recently, but like something happened with that guy that he's a documentarian with Yes, I know. What was that documentarian? Isn't it? I know he's talking about Super size me. I know I see his face and he's got that stupid facial hair He's sweet Yeah, I think he recently died or something. I was like oh man. He did Just more than something more than spurlox Yeah, he was I mean he did that documentary super size me to expose like how vulgar and vile McDonald's food is and how they upsell you like he wants more yeah, super sizes. So we ate McDonald's every day What was it for a year and he was like prediabetic gain 50 pounds? He was terrible. So what do you how do you die? He died like a year ago That's a shame You know his death. I still can't get over the crocodile hunter me too That's a shame. I think he was beloved and also like it just crazy Specified cancer. Yeah, that's cancer will get you 53 to fuck that sucks. Yeah, you know, it's interesting sound I feel the same way and I see clips of him all the time when he's like, you know what I do with my money I don't need a gold donny I want to boil all the land because I love animals like that guy died like I know I love that guy I'd watch him show me how to narras ass like him. I would watch like all right It's not the name of sex Watch this cow, brat, but it's like he didn't even get you got to take it out by a stingray Which I think like are known to be also like docile Well, and also too and doesn't the thing point down right those stingray the stinger points out and is just like How did it go up and? So it's that's around it, but that is bad. It was freakish. Yeah, his uh it was freakish and his daughters around bindi She still does stuff yeah, and Linda and Linda was so and I was at the wife. Yeah, yeah, if you see clips of him talking and she's just like Like she just she adored him Yeah, you see him like a really good dude. Yeah, he doesn't eat babies. I would have been friends with him I think I feel like I could have been friends with him even outside of like crock stuff. Yeah, like his non-crock life He'd be so cool. Yeah, he's like sale. I just want to hear him talk. Something to show you Yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel like he'd be that excited about everything Yeah, sag you might paint some eye Yeah, I'd be so cute. No Yeah, what a sweet soul. I don't he's not in the Epstein files. No way can't be no fucking way. No So you've gotten to um, oh wait, what about this potato schmuck? What's his story? So what's the big deal? Yeah, you're right. So this doesn't seem like much of a challenge like no His teeth are shinier than his 26 diamond j's necklace his teeth are shinier than the necklace (laughs) - She's more. - Oh. - It's always the bad veneers. I don't think those are, I think those are the perfect smile, like the kind that you put in, and they, they're. - He's, and that guy is making people feel bad up in 30. - Beat Horus Petite every day, 2026. - I always on the 20th. - I thought Horus Petite was the day. - Horus Petite, die, cheers. Yeah, that's like one solid block of weight. Stop swallowing like that. - Why is he swallowing like that? I never saw someone swallow with the teeth outside the lips. - Die, die, 20 free. - Die, 20 free? (laughs) Like Horus. - That's why he seems like an enemy. He seems like, you know what he reminds you of? - In Ice Age, the little, like. - I know, he talked about the little- - The picture of Munkers on my cat or the twirl or whatever. I mean, God bless them, I guess. - Guys, that's it. (laughs) - Whatever that thing is, I don't know. (laughs) What is that? - That's a foul, whatever you know what's, like, 20 animals out. - I've seen this movie 20,000 times. I don't pay attention. I sleep when my kids watch this. - Dude, he looks like, that's what he looks like. - Yeah, that's very accurate. The giant eyes, stupid teeth. - Like that freeze frame right there. If you just look down like a little foot, it's the exact same face. - Die, 20 free. (laughs) - What the fuck? - Yeah. - I don't know. - So anyway, you've been, you took a Waymo here? - You know, I didn't know I was taking one though. I went to call Noober and it just said it's a Waymo. And I was like, "You know what? "I've never taken one, I'm not going to take one." Like, I'm not going to keep taking one, but I was like, I'm just talking about it with some friends. And I was like, "I'm going to do one for the experience." That's why not, you know? - Yeah. - And it sucks, it sucks the whole way. - Tell me about it, because I fucking hate, I'm opposed, I don't even want to try it. - I won't go back in it. - Okay, so sorry, I didn't interrupt you. Go ahead, tell me the driving itself was fairly smooth. But like, when it picked me up, it drove past me a block and across the street, so I had to, you know, wait for me when I went and got in. And then when I got in the car, I was 11 minutes, I looked at my GPS, I was 11 minutes from here and it said 23 minutes to drop off. And I was like, "No, I was like, you can hit pull over." It says it'll take almost, it could take up to a minute for it to pull back over. But you can't readjust anything, you can't tell it to route. So I deduced right away, you know, because I'm not a fucking moron. That it probably couldn't go on the highway, I guess, so whatever. So it took sides, but it doesn't warn you that your 11 minute trip's gonna be 23 minutes. So I was like, "All right, so I called here to just let you know." And then about two minutes from here, I was looking down, but the way most slammed on the brakes, and I don't know if it was the car that cut us off or the way more, but I think we beeped. - We, we, we, we, we, we, I think me and the car beeped. And it literally jammed on the brakes like, and a hold on the horn, and a car like cut right in front of us, like, "Oh, shit." And then it dropped me off with a sinister end instead of here, and I'm like talking, I'm like, "Oh, you're passing it, you're passing it." I'm like stop, stop, stop. There's no voice recognition. - I hate it. - So what if it, I mean? - And it drove, it was annoying. It kind of slowed up outside the lot here, but then like just kept going, and then just kept going. And then it, like the last like minute, it was going like only three miles an hour, like, so it pulled into the other lot's slow. And then it like drove really slow in that a lot to the front of the place. And then I was just like, just stop, just stop the car. Just, finally, when it was going like really, really slow, I just opened the door. - Stop! - Yeah, and then I walked here too. So I was like, as I gave it two stars, I said, drop off, pick up, and I said, uh, and uh, route was too long. - Horrible. - I gave it to, I didn't give it one, because the driving, some, some of the driving scene pleasant, pleasant. - Pleasant, it was like, it seemed fine enough. - It's too safe. Like, it doesn't, it's overly safe. - Let's just take it to, like, if it's not going to go above the speed limit, who would take that? It's inefficient, right? - And people hate these cars, so aren't they, like, setting them on fire and stuff? - Oh, I didn't know that. - I'm just my hope. Are they messing with them? - Oh, yeah, all the time. At any time there's a riot or anything, way more certain flames. - Good. - Is that right? - Is that right? - Every time I go. - Good. - Not shit. - Good, can I tell you something? - I just finished watching all the terminator movies with my sons. - How many are there? - Oh, like, four or five. - Yeah, why? - As a fucking cautionary tale against trusting the robots, okay? And Sarah Connor is not happy about this. I'm not happy about this. Every time I see one, I fucking flip at the bird. I'm like, never, I'm never gonna get into this. - Yeah, I won't do it again. - I'm not gonna do it again. 'Cause you know, what if, bro, what if you had a fucking warrant out for your arrest? You get in that way, mo, and it checks that or something. And the next thing you know, you know, your ass is in jail. - I'm sure that'll happen, I'm sure. - That's, we're one step away from that. - Yeah, yeah. - You couldn't even get out of the fucking thing. - Yeah. - You had to slow down, you had to slow down. - Yeah, it was annoying. It was like, it was rubbing it in. 'Cause I'm like, you missed it, you missed it. Just stop, 'cause now I gotta walk more. You keep going, you know, it's like just like, literally like, chastising it. - Yeah. - And then I just opened it and then like, stop. - Yeah, how do you know? - It's like, make sure you have your phone. (laughing) - Oh my god, I finished. - Yeah, well, I mean, yeah, I could drop you off anywhere, could drop you have to get trafficked or, I don't know. - Yeah, it's like, I heard me. - Well, what's someone do with you? - Yeah, yeah, I don't know. Here, I've got this for you though. I'm glad that you actually chose that because if you'd taken an Uber, this could have happened. - Hey, you Uber driver. You talking mad, you shit's my girl, you better stop. - Yeah. - 'Cause you see this? You keep disrespecting her and I'm gonna disrespect you right between the eyes. You got that? - Damn, dude. - Hey, quick giving her a lip, man. - Wow, wow, I love his hypothetical situation that the Uber driver is just outright disrespecting his girlfriend right in front of him. And then after he threatens him with the first fist, the Uber driver kept it up. - I mean, I don't know, I know that men, you guys have a language, all your own. For instance, Tom's told me when he walks into a room, unconsciously men size up other men, like I could take that guy. - Okay, I don't do that, but now I feel like I'm pussy. - Yeah, he's a psycho. - But you think like, don't you guys fight when you're younger and learn, like, hey, you're gonna get beat. You shouldn't threaten people on the internet since stuff? - No, I don't know. Maybe I was just raised in a different area. I didn't walk around fighting people when I was younger. - Where are you from? - Is that I on New York? - Well, that's-- - No, there were fights and stuff, but I wasn't like I was in the wanderers. I wasn't like in the wanderers, I mean, I didn't walk around the streets, like, looking for trouble and like mixing it up to learn like life lessons and to toughen up and stuff. I wasn't doing that. I guess I would try to avoid physical confrontations if at all possible. - That's right, that's what I'm thinking. - But this guy was, he was, honestly, I would be scared if he told me that, if this guy said that. - Okay, well here, let's hear what else he has to say. Hold on. - Bro, I told you, quit disrespecting her. - This is super drivable, not stop. - Don't worry, girl, I got you. - He's got me. - Got me. - So you want to keep messing with me, driver? You want to keep doing that? - Don't you fucking do it. - He's going to find out real quick. I'm not someone you want to mess with. - [laughs] - All right, pull the car over to settle this right freaking now. - Whoa. - I love that he's white night, because this is like, who's, who's this for? - Well, okay, so there's the lane of dudes who will put hypotheticals online to attract women. He's showing you what an alpha he is, and if you were to date him, this is the guy you're getting. - Yeah. - And honestly, as a woman, the thought of a man defending your honor is very enticing. - That's true, that's true. - That's what I like about Tommy when I met him, and he's big, he's going to fuck somebody up. - Yeah, yeah. - He's not that he ever has for me. - Right, right. - He would, but that is what you want, but I don't, I don't know, do you think he's one of those guys that's quietly psycho, and you fight him, and he can fuck up, or is he just a bag of dough, and you could fuck his ass up pretty soon? - Oh, man, you know, I'll tell you, he has, in the face of this, he's had a lot of patience with the super driver, too. It's been about five or six warnings, and I don't know what's going on with you, but the car is in motion, and this guy will not stop railing on this guy's girlfriend. I mean, I think he's given him, he's given the Uber driver enough chances at this point. - But not chance. - He should fight. - Yeah. - Yeah, I like your answer. - Just keep on disrespecting and see what happens. - He will happen. - You just keep it up. Hey, buddy, do not test me. All right, that's it. In a moment, I'm going to request you to pull this car over. Just hold on a second. Don't do it. Don't do it. All right. Begin, start thinking about it in your mind that you're going to be pulling over soon. Before we started this podcast, there were moments where I wondered if anyone would actually want to listen to us and our brown talk. No matter what you're starting, the doubts will always creep in, but that doesn't have to stop you from turning your idea into a business. Shopify is the platform behind millions of businesses around the world from household names to brands like ours here at your mom's house. 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In fact, we have a drawer in our house that has just devoted exclusively to all the different flavors. We absolutely love LiquidIV. Their sugar-free flavors are perfect for long days. They've got strawberry watermelon, white peach, lemon lime, and rainbow sherbet. Just one stick and 16 ounces of water hydrates better than water alone because it helps increase the fluid availability to the body. Powered by live hydro science and optimized ratio of electrolytes, essential vitamins, and clinically tested nutrients that turn ordinary water into extraordinary sugar-free hydration. Show up, start to finish with hydration from LiquidIV, hydration multiplier. Sugar-free, tear, poor, live more. Go to liquidIV.com and get 20% off your first order with code YMH at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with code YMH at liquidIV.com. I remember when I was a little, me and my cousin used to ride our big wheels around the corner. We were allowed to stay on the sidewalk of the square block. We weren't allowed to get into the street, but we can go around a full square block on the sidewalk. When we ventured to the top of the block, there were these kids that were like bullying, like being a little bullying. My cousin was a year older than me, so when you're a little, that's a lot. He was driving and I was holding on. I was riding bitch and not big deal. I remember my cousin turning me and he goes, "Don't worry, Sal, he goes, if they mess with us, and he's made a face, he goes, they'll get one of these." That's exactly the energy. He didn't like, he didn't like this. He's like, "I'll give them one of these." I felt what I felt protected and safe. Yeah, you understand. It's basically, it's the same vibe. Yeah, that's true because my little boys loved to talk about fighting and how they would fuck somebody up, and run to guns and weaponry and killing and it's normal. Yeah. Great. Do you want to see some pictures of Jack Nicholson on vacation? I'll pull them up. The shirtless Jack, let's do it. Brett, have you seen this? I've seen a few of him shirtless. See much like, much like our love of the crocodile hunter. Yeah. I saw these photos like weeks ago and I still think about them once a day. Yeah. For so many reasons. She's doing a cannonball? Of course he is. No, no, he's just getting out of, he's getting into the video's fat, so that's how you look when you have to pull your body weight up. I don't know if I look much different than him. No, no, but he kicks it with models. Look at him. Look at all the models. Yeah. So this is recent? That's really great because I thought he was like, good for him. I thought he was like kind of like a recluse now or something like that. No, no, wait, put in recent ones because they just dropped some like a month ago of him. Yeah, he looks like shit. But like, he's still loving and he's still hot. He's him. I mean, he can't. He's a one-of-one this guy. I know, right? Yeah. I would be intimidated. This is someone I might be a little bit intimidated to meet. No, Jack Nicholson on vacation 2020. The recent ones, yeah. Like, I guess these are all recent. These airborne in that one. He's just like, he's airborne, but his arms are like, totally not like. Well, and the paparazzi's taking these photos. Yeah, these guys are like fuck right off. Like, he's on a boat. He's not asking to be photograph. That's those long lenses that they're using. I understand that, but I also will say this. I also, I mean, I like that he just doesn't give a fuck because if that I might be wearing like a rash guard, if I had, you know, if I wouldn't be as comfortable, even right now, as he is, we'd just let them out, let them go. Look at those tits. I know nobody is. And here's the thing. Is that the rash guard? I know. He's the most unflatting in the middle of smearing on SPF. Oh my god. It sucks me. It's like me and to post it. It sucks so bad. Like, why did they have it out for him? He's never pretended to be like, right? Like the hot guy? Like, he's just actually got to love for it. Yeah. I love it. I love it. Oh my god. Oh my god. This photographer sucks dude. He's probably snapping. Like, this is amazing. He's fucking. That's one of the funniest. It's like, that's so I love that he's jumping in the water. Like, you know, glass. He's crushing his life. Yeah. But that is what I like about like all the celebrities that go to the fancy places. They get they get a paparazzi, which is funny. But not him. I think he doesn't deserve it. I like him a lot. What do you see? The like, Heidi Klum was in St. Bart's over Christmas and they dragged her because she just looked like a normal 50 year old woman naked. Like, what a pig. Fuck that. But they also pose. They also pose for these things too. Like, these are set up. Oh, yeah. Are they? Oh, yeah. Like, see, like, the ones where she looks good. Right. And she's walking with that guy. So sometimes they'll have their own photographers take the pictures and then sell them, which she definitely does for sure. Oh, wow. That's a, I'm naive. And the Kardashians do that too. That's why they always have like, you know, those those celebrity like us weeklies and they'll be like, Kim's just out on the tail with her latte. And it's like a perfectly post because they have photographers do that. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, Heidi just, I guess there's one photograph where she was just normal and she had her top off and they were like, people are dragging her for, you know, just being an old bride. I wouldn't do that. If she came to me and took her top off, I would not drag her. I would let her be her. Would you want to? She knows she's got, I mean, she's no jacket. Maybe wasn't top. She's no jacket. But I think that the difference being like, if you put yourself out there is like, I'm the hot chick. Yeah. You always have to live up to being the hot chick. It's so rough. Like poor Pamela Anderson, even though now she's kind of like, she's become like the cool ugly, used to be hot chick. Wait, does that make sense? Like I used to be hot and now I'm just like normal and old. She's, yeah, she's said she looks great. No, no, she's got this little Lord Fauntler Roy haircut now and she doesn't wear makeup to premieres. It's very upsetting. But we're looking at unflattering photos specifically, right? No, no, no, no. These are red carpets. Look at her now. Look at her little Lord Fauntler Roy. Look at a stupid haircut, stupid. Yeah. Well, I like that. She's stupid. She's trying new things. Really? The only thing I don't understand is like, with the eyebrows, but like other than that, like that's Pamela Anderson. She's, she's smoke show. Yeah. Can I tell you what's with the eyebrows? I'll tell you exactly what happened. What happened to all of us in the 90s is we over-tweezed because that look was cool and then they don't grow back. And they don't grow back. Yeah. So people like they tattoo them now on there. Yeah. Which is, it's crazy because they always look surprised. I know. Yeah. It's always like, I, I, my, my, microblading. I've been here a while. Um, I think that's my, I mean, I will never tattoo my face. I've never done this time. Do you, does, does Tom wax a, uh, do, uh, what do you call it? Tweets. To thread him or whatever they're called. No, but he'll, he'll, he'll, he'll get like crazy hairs and all tweezers. Yeah. Oh, that's, that's just regular maintenance. Why do you do? No, I never have. You know, me too. I can't like that man's scape, like that manicure. It's too much for me. Yeah. I don't look at me. It's so gay. Hold on. There is this YouTuber, who's I talking about? The science guy that I brought up earlier. But the video game guy? No. He's a, he's on Netflix right now. The Crunch Labs guy. Can we please look at his eyebrow? This is so mean and I don't care, but just look at his eyebrows. Because I think it's too far. Like, yeah, Mark, Mark Robert shout out. I'd love your show. My kids love it. They're learning about science. But it's the brows, dude. Right? Do you guys see what I see? And my wrong is he, is he like grooming over grooming them? Something's going on there. I can't really. I know, can you show my glasses? I should have brought my glasses. Can you make it big? Because I was watching it last night with my kid. It's a strong brow. It's just. It's his firm strong brow. He's no, he's no George Whipple. George Whipple's white. George Whipple's, George Whipple's nuts. Bring it up. Just looks like he has two fur coats over his. That's old school. That's what a man can be a man. Yeah. I mean, that's why I get nuts from. And he, he, he, he, he cultivates it. I mean, he could, [BLANK_AUDIO] at any moment in time, dial that back. - I know. - Yeah. - Whipple, that's not his, he's definitely Greek or something, right? - Yeah, that's something else. I wonder how much random his chicken's caught in those. (laughing) Like just large pieces of dust and stuff, like, you know? - That's so funny. - That's so funny. That sucks that that's your thing. You know what I got on the eyebrows guy. - Yeah, you know, like if you tell him, he's like, "You got something on your teeth." I mean, whenever you tell him, someone's like, "You got something on your eyebrow." You got a piece of spinach. You got a piece of spinach on your eyebrow. - That's terrible. - Yeah. - Good for him. - Good for him. - Good for him. - Good for him. - Good for him, Wipple. He's dead, right? He's gotta be long. - For me, it's unclear. If I was playing the game to guess, I would say he's alive. - Still alive. - Shut the front door. - '71. Oh my God. Yeah. - What? - I got cast on him. - Stop it. - '71. She was. That's crazy. I was that sad, man. - I like her so much. - Do you ever need her in the room? - No, did you? - No, no. I wish I did. I'm such a fan of Beetlejuice. I loved her and then, of course, home alone. We watched that weekly in our house. - You're insane. - So good. - Quickly. - Give us, Catherine, back, take Wipple. I didn't even say that. Anything else. Even Sloth. No, I'm kidding. George, I hope you're thriving wherever you are. God bless you, your brows. - Fuck. She was fantastic. - She stole every scene at George's Creek? - Of course. - Yeah. - I mean, I couldn't get a knowledge. Just coding. - Yeah. - No, and she's dope. - They, whatever. Like TMZ Carter in line. Did you see that when she was a little bit older and she was at the airport standing in line? And then like, what's your favorite role and she was like being a grandmother or a mother? - Yeah. - Yeah. - I was like, that's cool. - That's the dope. - Yeah, she got it. She was weird. I liked her. - I know. - All right, let's talk about the Grammys. Do you want to go through some Grammy fashion with me? - Yeah, let's do this. This was last night, Grammys? - I don't know. I don't watch it. - I was last night because when I walked into my hotel, they were like, "There's a Grammy viewing in the thing." - Oh my God. - Oh okay, I don't know. But I know Nate won a Grammy. - That's right. - So I shout out to Nate. - Shout out to Matt's Congrats, buddy. - Congratulations. Yeah, I don't watch these award shows. - I stopped. I used to watch him. - Really? - Well, my parents watched the Grammys and like Emmys. But I remember I used to be into the movie, the Oscars. - Yes. - Like, you know, like, 'cause I used to like Barton so she was like the bar parties and stuff and getting to it and there's that kind of, but I'm so, so removed from the award shows like the last 15, 20 years. - Same. - I think he was, that was the time of television when there was like five things you could watch at a given time in your parents. - It was a big deal. - It was a big deal. - Yeah, yeah. - And I do like the Grammys when Michael Jackson came. - Yeah. - That was cool. - And he walked in through the hat. That was the best Grammys. - It's the best one. - I know. It's like he was God. He's like hovering in the air. I remember watching it as a kid and I just was like, this man is, he's walking, he's walking on water. It's like, I know. - Yeah. - He was so. I mean, I used to walk around with the glove. - You're so lucky. How did you get one? How did you get one? - I was like, it actually said Jackson five on it and in gold, it was a white glove. But in hindsight, could I still have it? 'Cause it's just like, I think it came with like a record or something like that. But it was hit Jackson five on it. But it was a white glove, but it's so funny. It literally looks like an of glove. Like it's not like the sleek one he wore. It was like a white, it was like a huge white shitting, like something that would come as like, you know, like a bullshit extra on a record, you know? And it's like, it's just like, you look at, it looks like you would wear it to like, it looks like an of glove. - Like, but think about how original that was. He's like, I'm gonna wear one glove, one glittery glove. - I know, I don't think anyone's ever done that. - Nobody. - That's what Cory fell for me who's burping him off, right? - That I'm gonna moonwalk and then I'm gonna bring a chimpanzee to the Grammys. - Oh, we didn't bring, he brought McCulley. - He did? - I think he brought McCulley Culkin to the Grammys. - Yeah, I think McCulley-- - Or Emanuel Lewis. Sorry, it was Webster, not McCulley. - Yeah, ma'am and George Papadopoulos. - Oh my God, I can't believe it. - Well, she was great, he used to go up downstairs in a dumb waiter, didn't he? - You had a sadder childhood than I did. (laughing) - Yeah, they used to be like, I go upstairs and put him in a dumb waiter and just let him pull him upstairs. - Yeah, why couldn't he call her mom? Why ma'am? - Yeah, and why couldn't he just use the steps? (laughing) - It feels demeaning to throw him in a dumb waiter. That's reserved for like food. - It's a scrolls and unsafe. And he was like a 30 year old man. - I know. - At the time he played that role, the eighties did not give a fuck, didn't he? - No. - 'Cause there's also the reality of that. He's a 30 year old man and they're just like, come on, get in that dumb waiter. We'll see you upstairs. - But no, Michael Jackson, I was like, I mean, that was, he was everything. - Oh my God. - And I wanted the jacket, the red beat it jacket, so bad. But that was like $300. I remember my parents were like- - Oh, the beat it were like. - 'Cause he had the thriller one too. But the beat it one. - Yeah. - The red one. - Yeah, this is the nice thing. - The zips on it. - Yeah. - Fuck. - He broke out into the knife fight. - Wait, what's the thriller one? That was just like- - The thriller was a full red outfit. - The fuck is it? - Oh, the leather. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, god damn it. - Which is kind of what Eddie Murphy wore into lyrics. - I was just thinking that. - Yeah. - Wait, who came first? Eddie Murphy or thriller? - I think it was the same frickin' thing actually. I watched this when it came out. My dad didn't know, we had to cassette, when it came on VHS, I should say I was one of them. But my dad, my parents were divorced, so my dad had to, he didn't, I could've just watched. - No, me too. And I would watch the sun cable. Because they would loop it. And I've still to this day memorized all these bits. - Roll, I really, it's like, and I'm watching it now. I'm like, damn, this is wild. - I've come home with the AIDS on the lips. - Yeah, like, AIDS on the lips. - Yeah. - I mean. - We don't pussy on me, we have pussy on me. - Yeah, I know. - Fuck it. And he was only like 21 or two, or something when he bit. - Yeah, I know. You guys, he had the bits like that were accessible a little bit, like the one with like, why'd you, why'd you pick the ice cream off the floor? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, right? And then he had like the ice cream man, like all that shit. But then it's like, yeah, so you watched that and you left. But then it was like, he talked about so much. And I'm like, I don't know, like it's my parents awareness that children had different psychology. Like, we were just-- - I think they were just like, that's, you know, that's bad, don't say that. - It's fine, yeah. - Well that and I-- - Tits in movies, I used to say. - Yeah, all the time, Tits and they just for no reason. - I always just feel a little weird. - Yeah, me too. - Maybe not just, maybe if not that was just Tits, but like if there was sex it. 'Cause like, that's another thing. We used to just watch movies, like as a family. And then there would be sex issues. - Oh my God, it made me so uncomfortable. - Yeah, so did you just happen to you now? - So, I forward through that stuff. - If I'm watching with my boys, they'll be like, up, grown up stuff, boob boob, and I forward, but I let them watch all the violence, which is right. - Right, right. (laughing) - Look at sex with your parents. Next to you is so gross. - That's gross, yeah. - There's this great joke, Laurie Kilmarton has right now, 'cause her son is a teenager. - He's probably older now. - Where she's like, I figured out how to get my son to stop watching porn. I told him that if you watch his porn, he has to do it, sitting next to me. (laughing) - That's so gross, so funny. - I always felt weird with the sex scenes. - I would feel so uncomfortable. - One time, I swear to Christ, nine and a half weeks was on. - Stop. - Yes, and I watched that. - With your mom and your dad. - My dad. - My dad, stepmom, sister, like. - I know, we would watch like, basic instincts. - Yeah. - Or I'd be like, I look away for a second or something. I'm like, all right. - But that's also like a single, is that a single dad thing? - No, it was a single dad. - My dad was oblivious. - No, it was a single. He was married to my stepmom, he wasn't like a fumbling dad. He just like, it was on, and then I don't know. I was like, I just don't know. I just feel like I always watch whenever we want it. I just thought he was just like, gave us the benefit of the doubt, I suppose? I don't know. - I know, we would watch, I would watch anything. - Yeah. - And now like, I'm so cautious about that stuff, 'cause it did traumatize me. - You're not supposed to see like tits. - Like, you're not? - Fucking at nine and a half weeks. - Oh yeah, I'm not tits fucking. - Tits fucking. - You know my first tits that I saw was Mellie Griffith and Body Double, I think it was. I'm a Body Double. - I don't remember. - This was at my friend's house though. And we walked into the living room and walked in on it. It was a core memory. - Yeah. (laughing) - I must have been like eight and I was like, oh damn. - Yeah. Oh yeah, she was gorgeous. - Yeah, her daughter's so pretty too. - Who's her daughter? - Dakota, what's her name? - Fanny? - Nem. - Oh. - I don't know, I just spoke Hungarian too. - Dakota. - Dakota Fanny? - That chick. That chick. - Dakota Johnson. - Dakota. - Oh, of course. - Yeah, right over there. - Yeah. - So pretty, they're so pretty. - Oh yeah, she had a great AD Open Door. Did she do that one? - AD Open Door? - Yeah, the architectural digest. You ever see Open Door? - Yeah, yeah, absolutely. - It did you like there? - Oh, I wanna see. - She had a great one. Yeah. - That's what I do, I swear to God. - I stay home when I just watch architecture videos. (laughs) - Yeah, I saw Lily Allen's one, where she was living with the Stranger Things guy when they were married before he blew it up. - Oh, they're not married? - Dude, apparently allegedly, she did on her, everybody, and then she wrote an album about it. It's crushing. - Oh, I guess they're out of the loop. - She's crushing, yeah. - Oh, wow. - But their place was a total hendent. I mean, look at that, it's like a chick palace. - Yeah. - So you could tell, like, okay. - Oh my God, he publicly, this was a big public thing. Like he got caught. - Yeah. - Like, oh wow. - Well, I guess, I don't know the details. I forget, I don't know, but I think, yes, he cheated on her. It's out. She wrote an album about it, and the details are in the lyrics of her album. - Oh, wow. - I know. - And they have an Open Door together. He had his own, and there's a Bachelor, apartment before her. He has an episode like when he just lived in New York City on his own. And then he got married and then did one with her and then now I wanna see the next one. (laughs) Both of their houses after they broke up and had to split everything back up. - Oh my God. I just, this is the last thing I would ever do. It's like, welcome architectural time. - Yeah, it seemed, it is crazy that people let them like into the house like that. - No way. - I daydream about doing, like I daydreamed about my episode, but like just, just like, but not, I wouldn't do it. - No, and I did. - I loved the show. - I daydreamed like showing them dumb things. Like I'd be like, and here's my wall of cool guys. And like, these guys cross-eyed, this guy died taking 10 to 12 Benadrope. Like, not really. - I'd die if it is me. - I still don't see it, but all right. (laughs) - Yeah, but I would hate to like do it to be serious and to be like, I'm really proud of this room. - Yeah. - Some people do it pretty good. They're like, they don't seem pretentious and they seem like genuine and it's interesting. Some people are, that's why I like watching it too. It's like, there's a whole like scope of how they are. There was one, I think Tyrese I think. Like, I think it's Tyrese. The guy, is he in all the back, back to the future? Fast and furious. - He's a black guy. - Tyrese. - Yeah, yeah. - He's a handsome black fella. - Yeah, I think this is his, is it Atlanta? Yeah, oh, dude, his is his-- - Let's see, can we just watch the-- - He just walked around, he's like, it's like a crazy mansion and he has like, servants everywhere and it's like, it's so like, he's like, he's like, this is, no one can afford this. This is like, I sort of got-- - Open your door and you look to the left and the right. I'm just playing, I'll come on in. - First of all, press pause for a second. Let's, let's scale it. Like, oh, it's Atlanta, it's not Pacific Palisades. - Right, right. - So like, the same amount of money is gonna go a lot farther. $10,000, just stretching, yeah. - Let's keep it real, with the location folks, come on. - Well, he's acting like it's in the West Village. - Right. - Yeah, right. - Relax, bro. - But he does go around like, bragging about everything here. - Everybody else had an open door like this. He just was like, it was just, it's really, really funny, pretentious. - What's up, AD? The house is a total 25,000 square feet. The house is six stories and it has an elevator in it. We're not gonna be able to do all six stories. I probably would grow a bunion if I walked through this whole house. - This room right here is like, I kind of nicknamed this room Zen. - The moment that they come into this. - You seem chill. (laughing) - I see their energy go. - Yeah, yeah, totally. - There's pieces in there where he starts explaining how rare this wood is and a normal person can't have this wood. It's like, this is unreal. And then he ends up relaxing and he cuts the chair. I believe in prophetically thinking and speaking things into existence. And so what I did was I went online and I actually ordered a replica of an actual Oscar. And you'll see in the front, there's no name on it. So one day, I believe I'll be taking a picture like this backstage while talking to, I feel so sick inside. - Wait, I'm proud of Posit. Do you feel sick? - I feel uneasy. - I feel sad. - Yeah. - I feel uneasy. He has a way like that. You know what, he's coast, 'cause Vin Diesel has a way of, I see him in these interviews. He's weird, he walks the line of like, I feel a little bit uncomfortable, but he seems very direct, but it's like, I don't know, he has his air about him. You ever see when Vin Diesel doesn't interview? - No, let's talk, let's see. - It's very like, he seems like a down-to-er person but it also, like, he's in this space that makes me uncomfortable when he talks. Vin Diesel. - Okay, let's see. I'm sure I can pick it. Right, 'cause there's people that are real and you're like, oh, that's real, that feels real. - I don't know if he's like, it's actually so real that it's on him, but it's like. - Oh, God. - There's one. And he. God, you're so beautiful. Oh, God, she's so beautiful. Am I right around? Look at her. How am I supposed to do this interview? Look at this woman. - Tell me your story. - She's so beautiful. Come on, you man. Don't do me, baby. Tell me your story. Tell me your, let's get out of here. Let's go, let's go. Let's go have lunch. My God. - So you see what I mean there? (laughing) - Wow. And like, here's the thing, dude. Like, she's a depressed junket. She knows how big this star is. She just has to get the interview. - Yeah. - And like, he's like, I'm really, I'm gonna fuck you. You're gonna fuck me up. I mean, shit, this shit's so hot. - I wanna fuck you a quarter mile at a time. Quarter mile at a time. Look at me, you're family. You're my family. I wanna fuck you. - But you have to imagine at this time in his career, women were just falling right over themselves to have- - I suppose, he's a big star. I mean. But that's, I was it to be fair. I didn't even, I never saw him like that. I just mean like, he's not like Conan or something. Like, he's like, he has this way of talking slow like that with like intent. And everyone's just like kind of leaning in like, waiting from to finish. And it throws the balance of the whole conversation off. That's kind of what I meant. Like, I don't know, like, feel socially awkward. But I think he's just being unapologetically him. And so he won't like, I don't know, you know what I mean. - They're van here. - Well, thanks for having me. - Yeah, yeah. - I know you mentioned it. I know people talk about this all the time. But every time I say your name, a lot of people, you know, create a name when they get to show business. Vin Diesel is one of my favorites. It's such a cool name. Don't clap for yourself. Don't clap. He's clapping for himself. - To say Vin Diesel in an uncool way. It's like, you're trying. You're like, oh, Vin Diesel. Still sounds cool. - That's a good point. - Yeah, Vin Diesel. - Yeah. I'm gonna keep saying it to you. - Vin Diesel. - Yeah. - You know what it is, Sal? - Low IQ. - You think so? - Yeah. - He's a dipshit. It's not that he's-- - You think so? - I just don't think he's-- Do I think he's a great actor at what he does? - Yes. - Is he attractive? - Yes. - Is he doing Shakespeare? - Never. - Right, right, right, right. - No, I'm not to-- I just don't think he's like a brain. And I think that is brain that it goes that way. Do you know? - Yeah, it's like, you know about how McConaughey does it? But it's like, it's kind of like that Southern draw, but he's kind of slow. But you kind of, I think he has enough good will with us. Where it's like, ah, it's like a McConaughey. - At 100%. - I think he's doing a version of that. But then I'm just like, like, if you're an interview with him, like he'd be like, yeah, you know, let me, you know. And it's just like, and then you just watch, I feel uncomfortable watching it. That's all I know. Something goes off inside me. And I'm like, I feel uncomfortable right now. Like I don't know why he's making me hang on every word he's talking so slow. - It's slow talk and it's, it presumes that the listeners gotta just hang in there. I'm just that interesting. You're gonna hang in there. - And when it's like a technique, you know what I think those books you read is like, make friends and influence, like Dale Connick. I wonder if it's like, speak slowly and like, make them, you know, like, yeah. - They say that, like, I've seen videos on TikTok, like self-helper people. They tell you to slow down. - Yeah. - And then I'm sure they're right, but I don't fucking care. I'm anxious. - You know what it is, Christina? For me. - Go ahead. - You know, and for me, for my own life. It's good. - Well, that's my favorite, yeah. I mean, I feel, yeah. And that's just me, but. - Yeah. - I'm gonna tell you. - Barf, okay. Let's do some Grammy picks. Since we're on that. Let's do some fashion. - Oh, yeah, fashion. - And then I wanna run you through some TikToks. - So this is the main one that everyone's talking about. Travel Run. - That's hot. - Whoa. Oh, sorry, I thought that was Jack Nicholson. (laughing) - So the dress is attached to her nipple rings. - What? - Brilliant. - That is, I've, I thought I saw, seen everything. - 10 out of 10. - That's a, that's a, that's something. - That's fucking amazing. - That is. - That is a chapel. - Ballsy. Wow. - That was rap. - To pull that off, even to make it. If I was like the designer, I'm like, hear me out. (laughing) Just gonna put these right through your nipples. That's phenomenal. - That's phenomenal. That's really, she's, I mean, she's just helpless. - I love it. - So this was, this falls on the heels of J-Lo. Remember the infamous J-Lo. - J-Y-R-L-M-B-R-It's. Come on. - And then Rose McGowan as well, I think to the MTV Music Awards with Marilyn Manson wore like a really nice, titty dress. - Titty dress, yeah. - Yeah, I think it, I know what you mean. - But how are they releasing the photographs of this? Because I know the nip nips, they have to blur. - Oh wait, those are actual nipples, I can't see. No, she has on covers of pasties or something, right? - So I think they're prosthetics. And like, she doesn't really have like nipples, I don't think. I think they just kind of like, you know, blended it all together with makeup. - Go, zoom in, zoom in. We gotta invest the gate. - What's prosthetics? - The nip, the whole thing. The nipple with the piercing. - Yeah. - It's like an overlay of her breasts on top of her breast. So let's see how the dress is engineered. I mean, it could be that the whole top is see-through. Like it's just a skin suit. I could never, God bless people's like security in them. - Oh my God. - I could never. - You're showing up to be photographed. - So, let me tell you the same. We went on vacation over Christmas and I thought I looked really good, you know? And you're like, I'm feeling myself in a bikini. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Tom took photos of me and I was like, fuck. - There's a lot of flattering angles and stuff. - No, it's just, I'm fucking shit. I'm a fuck shit. - Yeah, but we're normal. - We're normal. - Yeah. - I'm a fat fucking cellulite. - That fat pig in your life, that's my lot. Okay, so how are we doing this? So look, yeah, there's a cover, you know? - So those are not her breasts? - Those are her breasts, but I think they're covering like with a pasty or something. - It's nothing if it's not fashion for her outfit. - And I think the tattoos are fake too. - Okay, so maybe, oh that's cool. That's a really cool idea. - So let's take a mold on her maybe? - No, I think it is her real breasts and her real chest and they've inked it with the Hannah ink. And then I think there's an overlay on the nibble. Like a, it's something's actually covering her real breast there, like a latex. - Okay. - And then they put a hole through it and then it sticks there on her breasts. - Wow. - That's really cool. That looks great. 10 out of 10, I think this is a banger. - I mean, I'm gonna be thinking about it. (laughing) - It's cool, it's really cool. - It's cool. - Even to strike that pose though. - I know. - Something you have to do press and promo and stuff, like you have to do it for whatever reason, right? I feel more uncomfortable when people are trying to take a photograph of me. - Stop. - Then I mean, my skin crawls. I can look at them and smile. Like regular normal people do that when they take a photo at their house. And then they want you to do anything beyond that. And I don't know what else to do. I tell them, I can put my hands in my pockets or out of my pockets. I can smile like this, a smile with no teeth or like don't smile. Those are the options. Like people are going like, like, you know what I'm talking, like you know what I mean? - So here's another, okay, so what you should do, 'cause I had someone teach me how to do this back in the day. - You have a technique. - Three quarter turns. So you find the pose that you can work with that you look good in and just do that. Don't listen to them. Just, I learned the three quarter turn back in my Chelsea lately days on the red carpet. You just, you put your hands on your hips. - Yeah. - You do a three quarter turn towards the camera. - I don't like the profile though, either. - So that's the thing. It'll thin you out. - I got a Jack Nicholson going on myself. - Yeah. - So that's what things you out. - Oh, okay, so you are. - The three quarter turn. You turn three quarters. But I put my hands on my hips and that thins you out. You can see there's, look up the next, the last bad thoughts. Tom and I, I do the pose there. But if you find the one pose, just do that one. - Like look how she's posing. Like that's, you have to think about that and do that and then be confident enough to not feel like a moron doing that. - Oh, that's the worst part. - I don't have it in me. I just don't have it. - Okay, see there we go. There's my three quarter turn. Hands on the hips, one foot in front of the other. - You're great. - Thanks buddy. Thanks pal. - Okay. - And there's fat birds. So you just have to find one pose. Oh, and then learn like your one angle. - One that's it. - Yeah, I always look so awkward on those things. And they're all flashing and I'm just like, something always ends up with like a hand. My friends ain't going to be like, there's always like a misplaced hand. And I'm always just like, like. - Yeah, I just, I'll never have it. I'll never have that confidence. - No, no, no. I know your time out. It's those videos that you see like Natasha Leon. I just watched one of her and she was like. - Yeah. - Like they know how to do the angles perfectly. - I know. - And I'm like, that's years of experience. Yeah. - Yeah. - That's a lifetime in Chobas. - I'm just thinking in my head. Like, they're not embarrassed. - Oh my God. - Are they not embarrassed? - But they're not because like they're given, they're doing it right. I just, I just, I feel, so I make everyone feel uncomfortable. Because I say I'm just letting you know that this is the most uncomfortable thing I have to do. I don't feel like I can do it. I'm, you're all staring at me. I feel stupid. And so just, and they're like, oh come on. What's your favorite music? Like they put on a song I might like like it. All of a sudden I'm going to be like. - Oh, because they want that photo. - They want to heal. - Yeah. Well, the thing is that this is what I learn too. Like if you do anything, you, like sometimes you don't get to go pick. - No, no. - They'll pick the one. - And then I'm like, all right. So that's it then. You're not getting anything but me just smiling. - Being, that's right. Cause they fucked me up a few times right in the beginning. I was so excited to be on red carpet that I was like, "Ah!" - Just an asshole. And then, yeah, there you go. That's up to the fucking- - Or like a photo shoot. Like a photo shoot when you go to the post. Like that's, that's like- - Don't do it anymore. - And like the photographer's trying to like bond with you. Like I don't know people don't know this for like, it's out of my realm. So when I go doing, they're like, "Hey, how you doing?" Like, so what do you like to do? Like, well, let's talk about stuff you like. Cause they think like, you know. Cause then you get a photo of you that feels like, you know, you're in a head space of like, 'cause you're talking about puppies or whatever. - No. The worst is when it's a male photographer and they try to flirt with you or they'll be like, "Think of a guy you like right now." "Think of a guy that's sexy." And I'd be like, "I'm gonna throw up." Like I'm not that, I can't, I'm not that girl. - And it's like 30 people watching you too. It's, it's so embarrassing. People might not relate to this, but this is my point. I can't relate to it. I can't eat her. - It's, it's, it's weird. They make you do it. - And maybe that's why we're podcasting. Oh, speaking of, this is why, this is why you, my friend, you have a new podcast slash talk show called The Manoosh. - Yes. - The Manoosh. - My Manoosh. - Yeah, sure for Manoosh. It's like, it's a talk show. It's ridiculous. It's like very absurd. It's like, it goes in and out of like ridiculous talking points and like sketch comedy and it's all bits. - How fun. - It's almost like a, in between two ferns meets like a talk show. But it's not like, I'm not, that's not the angle I do, not like how he's like a, you know, a dick to the guest, right? But it is like all bits going back and forth and it goes in and out of like real conversation and bits. - It's awesome. - It's cool. It's been a lot of fun. We've, I'm doing a shooting, shooting it by season. So I'm doing 12 episodes for the first season. We've had some really good guests on. I just do it with Forte, I'm doing it with Paul Rudd. - What? - I'm hoping Method Man comes on. Yeah, it's gonna be, it's fun. - That sounds awesome. - Yeah, just some really fun guests we've had so far. Richard Kahn's gonna do it with your seasoners. - Yeah. - Yeah, I can't wait to have him on. He's, I mean, yeah. - Come on. - I mean, come on. - Come on. - You know, like, we'll play along. - That's the secret of this is having the fun ones that you're excited about, like you and I love you. Oh, also, also come see him. Do you stand up ComedySellVolcano.com? Am I seeing your last, Volcano? Volcano. - Volcano. - Volcano. - Volcano? - Volcano. - Volcano. Comedy.com. Where are you going? Where are you going? - Upcoming, I have Atlantic City. I have the Rhymen and Nashville. - Ooh, that's a big meatball. - To Florida. There's probably like 30 or 40 cities up there. I'm always adding more, but it's like, you know how it is. I've been touring this since 24 I'll tour it through 27. I'm into the UK, Canada. - Nice. - Yeah, by the time it's all said and done, I'll have done, you know, good 100 and the 25, 30 cities. - It's awesome. - Yeah, it's, yeah. It's, it's chugging along. - Well, it's very fun to go see him. Before I let you go though, do you know what you like to do some TikToks with me? - Yes, I did. - Yeah. As you know, we feature the marginalized communities. (upbeat music) - You know, I just don't know. - What? - There's just no shame, man. - What? - It's no shame. - You know. - It's fun. - It was fun. - Well, I like this lane of TikToks, the empowered farting women. - Because truth be told. - Is that a thing? - Oh, yeah. - Oh, that's a whole thing. - Well, she's getting paid for these farts. Don't think that this is free. - What do you mean? - So, like, there's a whole lane of ladies who-- - About farting to a jar or something. - A fart, yeah. And like, she'll send you a smell of fart in a jar or she'll be like fart on a cake and send me, you know, 50 bucks. I'll fucking fart on it. - Oh, I know there was that one girl that was doing it, right, and then she like, something happened. I don't know, like, I heard about one girl that was, like farting into a jar and mailing it and stuff. - That's a thing, that's crazy. - You know, I have recurring nightmares that I'm poor again, and then I've lost. Do you have, I don't know, this is a theme of my nightmares, is that, like, I have to start from scratch again and I've never made it in showbiz. - Yeah. - And in the dream, inevitably, I remember that I have some kind of social media following, and then I'll be like, but I can sell feet picks or I can fart in a jar. - You have a last resort. You can, I mean, you really can. - God, please. I mean, people are doing it, like, it's a viable option. - I really am. - I just don't know how they fart on command like that. - I think it's prep. - Oh. - I think you have to plan for the shoot. - Okay. - Do you know, like, I know if I eat Ministrone soup in three hours, it's gonna happen. - Okay. Okay. So you have your way, if you needed to do it, you have it. You're having an end, you know what I'm saying? - And if it you have slapped any of the people, but why I? - She would be walking around looking, say it. We're looking, say it, we're a lip drop. And I keep asking her, and what is the matter with you? - Yeah. - It was always, and it was going for a day or two to finally, when the fuck don't you, and then this is where I was slapped for a something, then she would change her mood or add a two to something. - Yeah. - Eighties did not give a fuck. - What the fuck? I knew that he did that. I didn't know he went on and just talked about it like that. - I know. - Oh my God, that is a fucking shame. He's like, she got a droopy lip for like one or two days. Finally, I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like, she walking around, he's sad. Would he say she's like sad or something? He had to slap her out of her sad. - Well, you're not listening. Okay, the point is that she had a bad attitude, and he doesn't want to be around a bummer like that. And which I understand, don't you hate it when your wife is got a bad attitude? But even back then, there wasn't backlash from that? - I don't know. I think everybody knew that I was beating her. - But everybody was talking about it on a current affair? - Babe, you're tying out. Remember when her mood came out, what's love got to do with it? And then everybody knew what a piece of shitty was. And then he was demonized a lot. - Is he alive? - I like Turner. - Is he alive? - I don't know. - I hope not. He's not a lot, okay. Yeah, I remember that one with um Sean Connery. Oh, that was a calling to a woman in an inch to be slapped. Yeah, never wear for for every once in a while. She's not listening My dad will be like yes, of course. She's right This generation of man is like yes, of course these women need to shut the fuck out. Oh my god No, he looks look how dope he looks though. He's got he looks fly. Yeah, I will tell you that he definitely looks like a pain for What do you think well our complexion it's a red flag Yeah, but sometimes you need to wake up and Have a coffee and have a donut. She speaks to truth. She does. Where do you get these things? I always wonder Every time I come on here, I'm like I don't come across these videos that you guys do hashtag blessed. Yeah. Yeah, that's because Salik I love this stuff. It's yeah, you know, it's just there was a time he didn't have this no, you know, like we don't have access to these types of things You know, no really no, you had to get like a VHS tape that was full of weirdos doing weird stuff We're like we had to find them like GG Alan was like my introduction into weird, and I was like, oh, this is fucking Public access shows. Yeah, you're like, oh, this is where the weirdos hang out. Yeah, public access, right? Yeah, that would be it really but who is she? But what's her story, you know, it's a mystery. Yeah, it's a crime. Yeah We she's missing a few teeth so she's had donuts, but she seems like happy. She's happy. Oh, she's chilling Yeah, she's having a better day than most people. Yeah, I seem happy. I love you Nick, but I don't think I feel like there's a lot of couple privilege between you and Mellie, and that makes me feel like a mistress sometimes Only me look. I don't want you to feel that way Like how can I improve this? Like when do you feel like that the most? It's mainly around the times I get to see you. Yeah, I get to see you on the weekends and Mellie gets to see you in the weekdays and I understand this because you work from home and Aw, just fucker just makes me feel like I'm like some weekend lover or something. I Totally get that Amy. I'm totally fine. You're taking more time because I only need to see Nick three times a week. Hold on do you fight over Nick? Come on out. Well, if you don't know how to navigate being in a threpple, these videos help you navigate how to be in a threpple That's what this is. This is like, but they're not a real threpple. This is no. No, they're really in a threpple and they're doing like threpple advocacy where they teach you how to be in a threpple. That's so they're acting out like how they would have. Oh my god, we'll find out what's happening with Nick. Political agreement with things that we all agree upon no one speaks like this. That sounds great. That sounds great. We're gonna start by rotating the weekdays and weekends a bit more for Nick, right? I can have some time with him during the week. Absolutely. On the same page. Yes, but let's do that. You're happy. He's barefoot and feelings of equity have. Oh my god. This is horrendous. Where's the guy who was in the air as asshole, please? Can we get him back out? This is horrible. I rather watched. This is so cringey. I know. He's like, I totally understand your knee. Could you imagine talking to your wife like that? It's that's a real real couple. That's real. Yeah. Oh, yeah. These dorks, they fuck each other. And then they want to like tell you how to do this too. So then they'll put instructions. It's crazy that they'd be progressive enough to be in the situation, but then still need to make a video to explain how to do it the right way. All right. I know it's like you're so progressive. Yeah, it's like you're already there. You're so progressive. You still got to be like I need to explain something like how this. It's just it's just a weird like. It's just it's just I don't know. It's just that that's a that's a lifestyle that is so out of my. Oh, like buddy. You and me both Satan is on baby eating. Yeah. Polly Amory Thruppling. Yeah, I will sleep here with anxiety attack every time I come on. I like think about the videos for days after. Yeah. And I'm just like, yeah, fuck around because this is what I this. These are like my nightmares. And I think about a lot. Like I love. I just love trauma. Like I can't do a chat. I just got to talk about the dark shit. I can't do small talk. I can't. Yeah. See that we were different in that way. I thought I want a small talk. The whole thing is it's really big guest. Really small talk. I love. Yeah. But it's like, yeah, the trauma I try to stay away from. But I know what I'm entering into when I get here. Yeah, you you you buckle. You know, you did your part. This is my like this is like my trauma. Fill for the. I feel with my cup here. And then I until the next time I see you. And you don't. Well, guys, check out Sal's new podcast. That's actually a talk show called minut. Go see him on the road. Is you got some great gigs coming up. Yeah, I feel like I should be calling out a few specific ones, but I'm blanking right now. You're doing great. Check him out. Yeah, Joe causes on right now on new episodes every Thursday on CBS. And we just actually we just got our highest ratings ever. Yeah. Show is growing. Finding an audience right now. I think a lot of us do it like TikTok and stuff. Great. Well, it's a great show. It's such like a fun show to watch. It's like hanging out with your best friends. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you guys are the best. And we love you. Thank you for coming. Thank you for letting me horrify you. So this was great. Thank you for having me. Take care. Bye, mommy. Guys, baby. Wrap it up and down. Wrap it up and down. Wrap it up and down. Wrap it up and down. Wrap my hands on your thighs, baby. Wrap it up and down. Wrap it up and down. Kiss your neck here. You two, girl. Check it off baby. Check it off baby. Check it off baby. There's nothing while you're being born a girl. This is part of life. Every once in a while. Check it off baby.