Sal Vulcano 5.0

I have never seen him this excited, talk about ricking on the loose, this is Alvin on the loose right now. Okay, because if it's not you got to tell me because I think it's so funny, but also he's just jumping on you. All right. Alvin, be a gentleman. Are you okay? That's your baby. So what could we, what are we going? Are your thighs pressed up against each side of the bucket in this chair? I don't know, my chair doesn't have a wide frame. Oh, this damn. Yeah, let me see that frame. You know, I think my, I think my chair is a little bigger than your chair. That's so nice of you. But I've been meaning to ask you. I got them thighs. Yeah, you know, there's quads I got two quads, eight, eight, eight total. I don't understand. Well, a quad is four. Why do they call quads? Because there's four muscles in each journal. There you go. And you're even out of me. What's I had? You have a bigger chair, eight muscles in the front. Yeah. People don't injure quads much. They don't what? They don't injure quads much people. We're just talking about athletes, maybe people that are the quads. Yeah, but it's on low on the, on the list. It's I don't think that's true. I hear, I hear meniscus, I hear ACL, I hear MCL, I hear, I hear, I hear Achilles, you know, I don't always hear quads. I can't, I'm string, hand swirls, labor rooms, hip and shoulder. I heard my, I told my labrum to do places. I'm in physical therapy right now. First time in my life in physical therapy. Oh, it's me and thing you want. I'll tell you. Physical therapy, huh? Yeah. Wow. I don't know if it's doing anything yet. I haven't felt the boost from it or I haven't felt like I'm on, I'm making progress really yet, just yet. But again, you asked me anything you want about it. I won't. Yeah. I won't hold back. This isn't going to be your typical interview about physical therapy. Okay. Yeah. I'll try to think of some stuff. I don't even know you tore, tore your labrum. I got a torn labrum myself. Yeah. Slap. Slap too. Chloe in the morning. Yeah, I guess it's the front and the back. It tore, it tore in the lamest way possible. I've seen like a specialist and a couple of physical therapy places and there was like, you know, how did it happen? All right. To be fair, I don't, I don't think I knew the moment it happened. Yeah. But what happened was, uh, wait, I don't, you threw me in. I'm a little bit, uh, wait. You could say it. No, no, for, uh, I don't know the moment to happen because usually they, say like, oh, it's like if you break a fall with your hands or something like that, or yeah, if like, um, you know, you, you are playing a, your arm goes the wrong way. If you tackle just something like that. Right. And, uh, how mine happened was I, when I drive when my daughter was younger and she was having a tough go in the back seat or she just even just requested my hand or whatever, I would put my hand directly back. Right. And I would just keep it there for the entire drive like 40 minutes. And then when I pull it forward, I'd be like, ah, man, that kind of hurt. I happened a bunch. And then it started giving out in certain places. And then finally, I got an MRI. But, uh, anything you want. Um, so yeah, it's holding my door. It's funny, man. I tore my labor in two places. That's funny, man. Do you talk about that on stage? No, no. So all the world's a stage. So I guess I just did, but, um, I don't think we, we need to be leaning into it. I, noticing that just because the posture is so bad, I think you could, you could hear me fine like this, right? I mean, from this, this close. Okay, but, yeah, I might have been doing it sometimes for like, uh, you know, when there's a mic right in front of you, sometimes you just want to like use it. Yeah. Is it, is a cake? And sometimes I just want to see if it's cake. Because one day something could be cake. Yeah. And I want to miss it. I don't want to miss it. I don't like, uh, this is named Lib Tyler's dad, Stephen. And I don't want to miss the cake. I'm not a fan of Arosmith. Oh, they're one of those bands that I just, I, I get why people like them and I applaud their success, but they're just one of those bands I hear that I just want to just punch my face. Jesus. My own face. I want to punch it. I knew who's you meant when you said my, my own face, yeah. Sal's face. I want to punch it. Uh, I saw that there's a knock off. Rick of, um, is it cake? You can't hide that it's a knock off. It's the exact same show called. I don't know. It's, can we look that up? What do we do now? Have anyone to look back? Should I look that up? It was something like, and it's, it's literally easy. And now I should also say I've never seen is it cake? Maybe that's just what it was. No, it wasn't. Is it cake? Is this cake TV show? And the name of the, is this cake knockoff TV show? The cake TV show is called is it cake? Right. And it's an official Netflix series, not a knockoff, right? Is there a knockoff of this that my friend Sal saw? You say knockoff, I think the proper question would be like, is there a new show about to premiere that is similar to not official knockoff of is a cake, but depending on what your friend Sal saw, he's like, they don't have one of the two things. The practical joke show connection. Interesting. Is that real? Are you reading? Yeah. I told you I'm bullshit. Okay. Because you're practical jokers, but I just, oh, just to the name, Sal. No, but your friend Sal Volcano from the, from the hit hidden camera prank show. How did it know that was like about Sal Volcano? That's creepy. That's why I thought you were joking with him. No. And it's called, uh, the impractical jokers cast famously filmed a massive prank segment of the iconic Carlos Bakery. You're the knock. You're the knockoff. I would be cake. We're back after we're sponsors. This episode is sponsored by Blue Choo. Chew it up, baby. Experience it yourself at bluechoo.com. And we have a real special deal for all of our listeners. Right now, when you buy two months of Blue Choo Gold, you get the third free with promo code TISO. promo code TISO. You will also receive an additional 10% off and free overnight shipping on your first order on your first order. Visit bluechoo.com for more details and important safety information. We thank Blue Choo for sponsoring the pad and the bedroom. Not hip to instant hydration. I assume you hydrate instantly. Oh, yeah. So this is actually something. Remember I was asking mom if she has any electrolytes. Yeah, I did. I bit my tongue last night. Yes, he did went to the emergency room. Yes, we did. And I was feeling a little bit of a headache. And I'm like, when I have a headache, I just think I could use a little electrolytes. I really like instant hydration. They sent me some stuff I'd have been bringing it on the road. For a better way to stay hydrated, go to instanthydration.com/tiszo and use my promo code TISO for over this can't be right. Where do we get 40% off? No way. 40% off your first subscription order. 40% off instant hydration hydration. It's instant hydration's best offer available. That's instant hydration.com/tiszo promo code TISO. Let me ask because can they serve liquor at your Salt Lake City event? I don't know. Are you not allowed to have liquor there? I believe it's dry. Yes. Siri, our liquor sales allowed in Salt Lake City, Utah. Oh, okay, taverns, breweries and bars are allowed to sell. Well, Salt Lake City, November 13th and 14th. These are my last rickies on the loose tour dates. I have scheduled for the year. I'm talking to my agent next week. We're trying to add some more maybe in December, but definitely starting in January, rickies on the loose. Boy, are my arms tired. And you can buy these shirts at Salt Lake City when you go see Ricky. Buy the merch. Do it. rickglasmin.com, both for your tickets, for your merch. And the bedroom. Oh, yeah. I took those extra bolts. What do you got there? This? Well, I can't say, but I think the home audience understands. I like your color story today. Oh, thanks, man. Yeah. It's nice. Thanks, man. It's so much easier to accept compliments when you don't feel like by accepting it, you're co-signing that you agree or disagree with it. That's the mental state urine when you respond. I agree with you. Yeah. Thank you. I agree with you. I felt that in practice because I not good with that either, but I also like learn to just be like objectively. Thank you. Yeah. Because if I believe that you mean it, that's what I'm saying. Thank you, too. Not that I feel that way or I don't feel that way. Correct. Hey, man, do you are so funny tonight? I just go like this. Oh, fuck. Thanks, man. Right. And if I didn't think I was funny, what I used to be is, no, I've been funny here before. But now, now if I don't think I'm funny and they say you were funny, I go, thank you. And then I'm like, oh, maybe I was. Maybe I am good enough. Okay. Sometimes if an audience doesn't go, Rick, you're good enough. I don't feel like I'm good enough. - And psych. I'm not one of those guys. - Someone complimented you after you think that you, I would probably not, if I knew something was went well in my mind, if I went well and I got complimented then I went well, I would say thank you so much. I would be focusing on their appreciation. - Sure. - But I know that I agree internally. - Okay. - If it wasn't good and they said that, I don't think, I might go, thank you, I appreciate that, but it, from behind the scenes, it's not, I'm not saying. - Hey man, 'cause you're not really taking it on, man. Or I might have been like, I might even go, I would have been like, is all right. I might just be honest. - Yeah, but you're not, I thought it was all right. - But that's what I was saying. You saying thank you doesn't mean you're lying and agreeing that you thought it was great. You're just acknowledging and believing that a person saw you on the impractical joker show at that bakery and it was like there, now I got to see him on stage. - But let me issue this, what if you feel that maybe, they're just trying to be nice? Then you just accept that if they saw you. - And thank you for trying, thank you for wanting to be nice. What a great thing to try and be. - Right, okay, yeah. The truth is there's no compliment I could get better than a referral from past clients. Is this on auto focus? - I can't see. - Find this compliment I can't receive. It's a referral from past clients and friends. - How many did you make, how many did you hand out? - And this was on as a real estate agent back in the day. - That's not real. - Yeah. - Oh, my goodness gracious. - Yeah, man. - So this is also earnest. - Yeah. - Oh, that's great. This looks like a bit you would do now. And like hand out. - I've always been. - Look at you, look at you. It's like another lifetime. - It's good to be back, man. - I'm higher than you. - Sometimes I will, sometimes I will go on stage for the first show of a weekend. - Yeah. - And I'll say it's good to be back. Just to see what it would feel like next, the next four shows. But I confess and I say I've actually never been here before. - Yeah. - But now when I say that tomorrow, I know how it feels. - You could say it on show two in night one, right? That's the reason. - I usually do night one is only one show. Thursday, Friday, Friday, Saturday. - But in theory, you're not saying it's good to be back like you've been there before. You're just justifying you were there like the night before or the show before. - That's, yeah. How else do you open without it? Is it good to be back? - What do you mean? You just don't say it. - Then what do you say? How's everybody doing? - Yeah. - And then what do you do? Do you separate the room into guys and girls? And then you see who's louder by going like this? - Yeah, who's louder? And then you can go, you're gonna get not just guys and girls. You could do like this side of the room. - Yeah, you could do people whose birthdays were January through June. - You could do that. You could do, you know, you could bring race into it. - Black people. - You could do that. You could bring religion into it. - Religion into it as well. Puerto Rican people. - Oh, Puerto Rican people religion. What is that, Catholic? - Primarily, yeah. I've never seen a non-Catholic Puerto Rican. - What a, really? - I am one. - You're a non-Catholic Puerto Rican? - No. - I'm a Catholic Puerto Rican. - Oh. - Although I'm not no longer Catholic. I was raised Catholic. But I haven't hung out with them in a while. - So you're a Puerto Rican that's not Catholic? - Yeah, and I don't know how much do my Puerto Rican family either. - Well, you don't stop being Puerto Rican here. - You don't stop being Puerto Rican when you stop talking. - Tell that to my family. - Goop, goop, goop, goop. - Anywhere. People, people are like listening to this and they're like, couldn't think of listening to this. (laughing) What else? (laughing) - This feels like I'm going to see a team I like but at an away game, you know? - Because the stadium. - You've been on my podcast, this is I think your fourth time, fifth time. - Yeah. - Before this, you were two of them were at my place, two of them weren't. - Yeah, possibly. - Yes, I remember that. - The first two were. - I know we're three of them were, but then where was the last one? - The first two were at New Jersey. - Right. - And then three and four were at my place. - Oh, right. - So we've done two at home, two away. - Right, right. We did another one one time, but I don't think I ever made it anywhere. - Yeah, it was, I still have the footage for it. - I could tell in the moment, I think. I don't know what was up with us, but. - No, you're talking about the one at your show. - Was it backstage? - Yeah, it was backstage with Jay Larson. - Okay. - We just have, I don't think I edited it because it was only like 40 minutes and like, there's just like people are just leaving and coming back. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - We don't count that one. - That's more like a, you know. - Gulp, gulp, gulp. - If podcasting is sex, that was a hand job that nobody came from. - Yeah, but there's still value there. - Buddy. - Yeah. - You're one of my best buds. - Yeah. - And that includes things, that includes things not sexual. - True. - But. - We'll see you one day, it'll be like the thing. - Yeah, maybe one day it'll leave. - I remember doing it, I don't know if we were tired or high or whatever it was, but I remember being like, oh, it was, it was just chaotic, yeah. - But if I said, thanks for doing it. What would you have said? - Thanks for doing it. That was really funny. - I believe that you believe that. That's what I would say, to the part that I would say that. - Do you want to see me singing the natural anthem on stage until I believe that? - Yes. - Who you did it? - Yeah, I've been, so I sometimes think about what it would be like to sing the national anthem in a baseball game. Sincerely, I'm not going to probably do that. So I'm like, I have 250 people here. I want to try it sincerely. - Oh, that's fine. - I asked if it was okay, and they said yes, and I asked them to stand, and then they weren't standing, and then I'm like, literally, like I wasn't joking, I did everything I could to beg them to stand. - Right. - And just asking a couple of people, a couple of people, and it took, it probably took, you don't have to edit it, and I probably took four minutes to get people to stand. - What's up? Where was this? - In Philly. - Yeah, four minutes, maybe a minute. - You guys please stand up. You start to move on. (audience laughs) - Thank you. - That's what I'm saying over there. - I'm going to keep you up, I'm going to keep running the fucking show. (audience laughs) - Okay. - But yeah, then I sang it. And I felt like I had some good runs in it. - Really? - Yeah. Well, you can sing, right? - I mean, most people can sing. - Yeah, but you can sing. - I don't have a good singing voice. - You know, I feel like I could, because I know, I just don't have the instrument, you know? But like, I know, I'm not like, oh, that's what I'm key. - I know. - Stay within like the key, but maybe not belt it out, but you know, you're not going to sing out a tune. ♪ Oh, say can you see ♪ ♪ By the dawn's early light ♪ ♪ Was so proudly we hailed ♪ ♪ There's the twilight's last gleaming ♪ ♪ We'll say does that star-spangled banner yet ♪ (audience laughs) (audience laughs) - I mean, I can. If I train, I really think if I train for real, that's silly. And I know that's not good, but like, I know, that's like, that's, you know, the draft. I know I couldn't. (audience laughs) - You put this like, sensuality on this boy band on it. - Well, you call it what you will, man. - It was great. (audience laughs) - He was confidence in him. - Yeah, 'cause I, here's something I've been talking about. - You look like you have fun. Yeah, I would go watch that back. - I want to talk to you about something I've been like, wanting to talk about in stage, and I have a few times, and I'm like, this feels like a different, like I'm working on my hour, now I'm adding. But talking about this concept, this isn't a joke, this is just an observation. That when people are embarrassed about stuff, they don't want people to know about it. And like, you're embarrassed, you don't want to sing, 'cause you're embarrassed about how, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I think we're putting too much power on what we're embarrassed about as if that's something bad. And I think the real culprit is the shame of it. And if I'm embarrassed about something, but I'm not ashamed of it, I accept that I'm not a good singer. - Right. - I want to be a good singer when I sing, and it's not, I want to, but I'm not ashamed of it. - Right. - And of course, I'm not ashamed of it. That's what I'm trying to do. I think most people wouldn't be ashamed of that fact, but when they don't want to sing in front of people, it's not because they're embarrassed, it's because they're ashamed. And I think those are different things. And if we could accept our limitations, then heck. ♪ We can be free all we want when we sing this beautiful music ♪ - Yesterday, there was somebody here, I don't know if we're not allowed to say, but I won't, 'cause I don't even know who it is anyway. But after the podcast that I did, there was somebody that came in. - Is this a riddle? - I can say it like a riddle, but it's not. - Okay. - There was somebody that came in, remember the guy after, and it was from like something records. Are you allowed to say what records? - This isn't a riddle. - Some musical, like some like, he's like Jimmy Iveen. Am I saying that right? - Yeah, that's a big guy. - Is Iveen the guy? What's his name? - Oh, I'm thinking of when I saw him at that place where he was getting saline solution into his arms. Jimmy Iveen, music producer. - Yeah, that's a big name. - I think he found it. - Jimmy Iveen. - Eminem or something. - Yeah, he found it all, dude. Anyway, but if it was like him and he heard me go like, ♪ It was freedom of this, I, oh hey ♪ I'm sorry to bother you. My name is Jimmy Iveen. A lot of people make jokes about me getting an IV thing, but nobody gets the joke. And that's because the joke teller was wrong. But I'm noticing you're not a good singer, but like there's something there that I could tell you to hear what it is. And could you come on in and like, I think you'd be trained. It could be co-vocally coached coach me. Yeah. Well, I noticed that you're burying it down here. You're saying I don't want you to, I don't want you to sing up here, but I just want you to bring it up from here to like about the lights down low. Yeah, get the music on the soft and slow, baby, we hang got nowhere to go. I hope you understand. I've been thinking about this all day long. Nice. I never felt a feeling quite in the strobe. Yeah, I don't know, man. I could bring it. I want to hear it again. Maybe I'll log the doors and turn the lights. How do you get that low? And I say, maybe, maybe, maybe like the talk, trying to talk as deep as you can talk. Yes, baby. Oh, I can go down like that. Then I can go all the way down. Wait, but doesn't why is it becoming like what? I can't wait. What have become like the dad from good times? I'm just like, I'm just trying to go low. Give me a sense to say, say, what about down here? What about out here? What about down here? Is that low? Is it low? From the window to the wall, my friend. That was very low. See if I go lower. You do it. Go. What do I think? What about that? You can't grow. Apparently, I can't hold on. It's how much it hot models. Do you have a call a party line? Louis J Gomez. Are you friends with them? Yeah. Of course. Do you not friends? I know him. But you're saying about the story. What do you do in town? Oh, the story was great. I know. I would like to, but I'm leaving tomorrow. It's about to do it tomorrow. Oh, tomorrow night. Yeah, but that's just what about down here? That's like demonic. Is that just trolling? It's so low. Yeah, I don't know. You say it. No, I think it's just like like, okay, you're a human being. You're not a demon. You have to make that face to get that low. It was a question. I don't think you were as low though just now. That was your lowest natural. Everyone just turns it off. Even Alvin ran away. Baby. Baby, lock their doors and turn the lights down. Give me those sounds. Let's sing it. Okay. Okay. Baby. Baby. Baby lock doors and turn. Baby lock those doors and turn the lights down. Don't imagine a victory. One of us got pulled over. Now this is how we're talking to the cops right now. Trying to prove that we're not stoned off our ass. Pull me over. I'm going to show you how much I'm not stoned. Yeah. One sec. I'm just kidding. How are you doing? Better now. How are you, officer? Good. You know why I pulled you over. Let's go a little fast. That? Swerved a little. Didn't notice that. But now that you tell me, you're saying my attitude is I'm swerving a little bit. Like I'm going to just be honest with people including the police. Understood. License registration. No problem. What are you coming from? I mean, right now I'm coming from dinner, but like I feel like I'm coming from like a breakup where I'm just. I'm going to need just a better vehicle. It's so funny. I mean, that's that's the case over. That's the case over. Okay. Let me see your license. What's your badge number? My badge is right here. Am I too aware? I do a deep voice. What's going on here? No. My badge. Five, four, nine, two, one, one, two, three, four, five. Oh, no. Six, seven. I think we're wasting three. I don't think anyone wants to do something. I wasn't paying with that much attention. Yeah. I bet I bit into it. I think I was more than a half because I bit into it. I have the other half of my pocket, but I look down and I was like, that was like 70% I bit. So anyway, yeah, I said, this was my fee. And then you said, you take a couple of times I pen and I said, no, because that in conjunction, and then we start, I'm not going to, I'm not going to, I have my, my druthers. And you're the only person I know that uses the word druthers other than me. Correct. Sorry. I don't know how to turn it. I thought it was like no buzz. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. And a lot of times when people speak of their, of their druthers, they speak a bit with yearning. Like they don't necessarily have their druthers, but if they had their druthers. Oh, sure. Yeah. If I had my druthers, I've noticed that druthers is pretty much only used with people who are like hypothetically talking about if they had it when they don't or they don't necessarily have it. Right. I also learned that when people use the word plead, they almost exclusively use it for when they're pleading to fifth amendment. Yeah. Isn't that interesting? Like pretty much lead got taken. I plead the fifth complete other things. You could do. You can just plead. Yeah, but do you say the word? Do you say like you could plead? I can see someone, someone and like maybe in a movie fight or something. Yeah. I'm pleading with you. Yeah, with you. Yeah. Okay. Tell me a sentence that the word plead is where the fifth doesn't follow pleading or with you doesn't follow pleading. What's the third? Like if this were family feud, what follows? What follows pleading? The fifth. Number one. I love Richard Dawson with you. Number two. That's the original guy who did family feud, right? Yeah. Yeah. I know. I was doing Steve Harvey. No, I thought you were doing. Oh, really? And you don't know. You've never seen him. Yes, I have. But and you weren't doing him? No. Oh, I thought you were doing Richard Dawson. That was so that was so obviously Richard Dawson. Well, could see Harvey and I look similar. If if he is, but he is, I must say, what is he said as Steve Harvey? I thought it was Richard Dawson. You said, show me, would you say you said a classic line. You don't mean the money? No, from family feud though. Oh, oh, let's see if it's on the board. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. But we're both from Cleveland. You and Steve Harvey. Yeah. You and Richard Dawson. I don't know where Richard Dawson is from. Would you take on Ray Combs? I think he's quietly the underdog of the entire race. Ray Combs or Ray Combs. No, Ray Combs. I don't know how that is. Well, well, well, football coach, give me a take on Rick Holmes. I think he's hilarious. He's one of my favorite comics that like doesn't do comedy. Okay. I don't know who that is. I thought it was a fake name. Instant hydration. You instantly hydrate with electrolytes. You feel better. Whether you're working out, spending time outdoors, traveling or just trying to feel your best hydration matters. Did you know hydration affects almost everything? Yes, I do. Focus workouts and even how you feel throughout the day. It's very underrated. The hydration level of our bodies. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if you even were that familiar with it before we started talking about instant hydration. I really wasn't. I do know you must stay hydrated and moisturize. What would you guess? What percentage of Americans are chronically dehydrated? I'd say roughly chronically dehydrated. I'd say 64%. 75% and 90% don't get enough potassium. A key electrolyte responsible for energy, muscle function and clear thinking. That's why so many people feel tired, foggy, crampy or off even when the drinking comes of water. Is it potassium and the instant hydration? I don't have to eat bananas. I mean, I'm not a doctor. Okay, but it seems like if I'm getting my pytepotassium from instant hydration, I can cut down my bananas over my corn flakes in the morning. It has the sodium. Obviously that's what your electrolyte are. You want that. 500 milligrams. It supports hydration. Potassium, 470 milligrams. Oh, that's a load of potassium. Magnesium 100 milligrams. I take a few hundred every night. Yeah. I supplement my magnesium myself for a better way to say hydrated go into >> This is Greg Tysok folks, instant hydration, learn about it. >> And use my promo code Tysok for over 40% off your first subscription order. >> 40% off. >> Instant hydrations best offer available. That's instant hydration dot com slash Tysok, promo code. >> Tysok. >> This is episode of sponsor by Blue Choo. >> Get by two months of Blue Choo golf. >> This episode of sponsor by Blue Choo. >> The official sponsor of. >> Take your shoes off. >> Yes. >> That look your girl gives you when she's ready for another round. >> Ooh, you know that one. >> And all the texts you send to your neighbors that say sorry for the noise, Blue Choo. The official sponsor of your downstairs neighbors banging on the ceiling. >> Bang on that ceiling, baby. >> And the official sponsors of us banging on the floor, not us, but you know the metaphor of us. >> Can you Blue Choo and go to Pound Town, baby. 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And the only reason I'm doing it now is because I'm on a Helix mattress. >> Also, I've told you about this, are you putting a pillow under your legs? >> No. >> I'm telling you, dad. >> Pillows, under your legs, it puts pressure off your lower back. >> I love Helix mattress. >> They will mail the mattress to you. >> And Lauren has one. >> Right. >> Teddy got one. >> Teddy got one. >> We got one here and the guest room. >> People are loving their Helix. Mark, if you want to try one at your place, you get a 120-day money back guarantee. >> Go to helixleap.com/tyso for 20% off site wide. >> 20% site wide, that's helixleap.com/tyso for 20% off site wide. >> You know what I mean. >> What's the site? >> Do it. - Helixleap.com/tiso for 20% off-site-wide. for 20% off the site. So anything you want to plug? I want to plug sweet deceit. Josh Peck, no, I'm on tour. I don't know when it's coming out, but I'm usually on tour. And I'm doing, if it's not announced yet, a full UK run in something like February 27. And if it comes out, I'm doing Canada this October. I don't know when London. Okay. Okay, go to with you all and Scotland and Dublin, which is not the UK. I get it. But can I go with you on the UK shows, we put me up, we pay me well. - Ari Shafir is doing it, but let me see if I can take two. I'll let you know, let me crunch some numbers. - I want to, I would love to have you. - I'm not doing less than 15 minutes, I would love 20. Maybe Ari could do some, I could do some. I want to, you know, I want to, I mean, business class means nothing over there, you know that, but getting me over there does add nice hotels. And also, same hotels as you, just so we could kind of hang out. - I've never not seen the same hotels, anywhere I've ever been on a roll with in my life. - So let's just do it that way. - Yeah, that's how we would do it. - Yeah, take me with you. A pay me, well, too. I got crazy, but at least, at least with everything else, at least a thousand a show. - Yeah. - I would say 3000 a show. - I can't do three. - Not on this show with him and all the costs and stuff. Plus it's not the same deals I get here. - 1500. - Well, 2000. (laughing) - Alvin, Alvin, Alvin, Alvin, Alvin. Alvin, Alvin, Alvin. (laughing) - I'm sorry, you're here, Alvin. So it's a robber and I'm like going in, Alvin, come here. You were literally Dave Seville's now. I get that all the time, cut it out, but that's a cool, yeah, whatever happened to Alvin. This is, I've been trying to put this out for about a year and a half. I think we're about a month out now and I say that November, I think Manouche is coming out. Get ready for Manouche, baby. So talk show podcast thing I did first season as 10 guests yours truly is in this. No, that means me. is in it among some really other fun guests will four to you truly you truly me me truly me truly me truly isn't it no but you truly I'm saying you can say that and not being your truly Ray Combs was one of the hosts of him who oh there's so many generations of family for you I don't know what you want I know do I know Ray Combs or the Anderson yeah of course how many there were, it was, it was not me in the sand. Yeah, I'm gonna hear yours. Welcome back to another episode of Louis Anderson and Gilbert Godfrey. I'm Louis Anderson. And I'm Gilbert Godfrey. And we are living with Louis and Gilbert. Gilbert. I have to tell you my Gilbert Godfrey story. No, okay, I'll continue. Yes. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, I don't do impressions. So this is not going to be great. That's why I was doing it. I know, but okay. >> I used to do, I don't remember how I did the bit, but I did a bit just as an excuse to do an Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. >> Arnold Schwarzenegger impression and what his name goes, I think a look of bound. >> Oh yeah. >> Christopher Walker. >> Yeah, but I would do that because I just so many people were doing those impressions. I remember I used to be like, you know what? You have never noticed that like whenever you see an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, he's always like, "Seriously, I need you to get it down." >> But I don't remember what it was, man. And then I realized that I think people thought I was just doing impressions. And I remember being like, "How do I get them to did you crack it?" >> Yeah. >> Which is it? >> Well, you don't have to watch my new special Arnold Schwarzenegger. >> I can't do it. >> Okay, well then I can't do it. >> I just slowed down. >> I slowed down. >> What do you mean? >> I was going to try to give you an assistant. >> Oh, you couldn't pull something up. That's when we were walking up, I go, I can't, it's a very fine line of where we're going to be going like this or where we're going to go a little too far and then just be going like this. >> And it's this one now. >> It looked like you were not wanting to hurt any flies, but you know they'll leave you alone if you snap right by their ear. >> I have, I co-flies with a, with a band. >> I never have, then like let me spare this fly. I don't know why. >> Well, not true. >> I, not true, not true at all. >> With the fly, like, no, that's actually not true at all. I was thinking of it. I guess maybe as a kid, I was just thinking like it was like, "Oh, you always trying to kill a fly, but now I'm just like, "Eh, he's going to die in a day. Just let him go." Like I, we have flies in the ass because we leave the windows open and I don't do anything about it. So I take that back on pun, further review. Like I said, good, ask me anything you want. And I'm going to shoot you straight. >> You ever do that? Like, you see a thing. >> Oh, yeah, I wish. I want maybe one time of my life, I can't win. >> Do you remember when we did this game? >> No. >> All right, so I'm just going to grab it. Is this far enough away? >> Holy shit! >> All right, that was pretty good. >> Yeah, pretty good. >> That was a quarter. It's even more pressing because you got to go under. I couldn't find a quarter. >> Whoa. >> All right, did you leave right here? >> Oh, I had it and didn't grip it. >> Well, it's fine. >> It's okay. >> It's fine. >> It's okay. >> It was so quick. >> It was so quick. Is that just getting stuff from basketball? No, I just think that the way my mind works, watch, say something. >> Something. >> I'm also able to do that physically. >> Right. >> I'm very, very quick at getting stuff out of people. >> Oh, yeah. >> And people can't get it from me. >> Yeah. >> Watch this, put this in your hand. >> No, I have no chance now. >> Watch this. >> All right, open it all the way. >> Well, this is my left hand, which is my have a slightly less reaction time. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Because I'm worried it's on the right. >> Yeah. >> Open your finger. >> Well, I need to know, is this in play right now? >> No. >> Okay, so you're not trying to trick me. >> No, I'm trying to-- >> I want to play the game on us. See, I don't need tricks. >> No tricks. >> Oh. >> Oh, okay. What? >> Yeah. >> I told you you wanted me to give it back to you. >> All right. >> Check this out. >> All right. >> Yeah. >> I got to be honest with you. I almost missed it. >> It's better with the quarter. All right, which hand is it on? >> Go, did it transfer? >> Which hand? >> That's really-- I mean, I know it's there now, but that was good. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I'm currently in the midst of-- I have a-- I'm known as a magician in the house right now. I can't-- yeah, I can say it. She's not going to see this. That's what my daughter thinks I know magic. Because I bought, like, an eight pack of, like, a two-four packs of bird's-bees chapstick. >> So you have one piece of bird's-bees chapstick per quad muscle that you have? >> That's correct. I never leave the home without one. So I have one on me right now. And that's true when you want to fact-check me on that, and you go right ahead. >> I'll say it. >> I'll take the challenge. >> I believe you. >> But I have-- so I hide seven in different places out the house, and I have the one. And, of course, I know where they will are, and I know which-- I anticipate where she's going to tell me to do them. So I say, you know, I do that thing, and I make it disappear, and I'm like, go check the freezer. >> So is there one of the freezer now? >> Probably not now, but when we-- when I know I'm going to ask her-- >> I want you to re-hide. >> I want you to re-hide. >> Oh, you re-hide. >> Great. >> And then even sometimes when she's not looking, and she's going to look for the thing I just threw, I'll take one out of a different place, and add it to another place that she hasn't seen to it. It's a rolling-- >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> So what I'm saying is, like, she really feels like I have exponential powers. >> Are you sure she isn't going to watch this? Do you want us to bleep all that? >> I'm going to have to-- I'll look at her YouTube, and make sure she doesn't, like, the history. She's watching before, and there's a pattern that I can-- if there's some type of precedence. >> Well, it's not just even checking her history about watching me. It's like, does she look up thumbnails of you? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - She's not on any type of-- - I'll tell you what, we won't put you on the thumbnail. Instead, we'll put just like your silhouette, and we'll put a question mark over your face. - And then put it alias. - She's not allowed to read so. - Yeah, and then I just do guaranteed it, that you won't see this. 'Cause I'd like to, I'd like to be known as I'm magically inclined in the house for as long as I can. It's fun. Like, I'm the same as David Blaine to her. Like, you know when you watch David Blaine and you see her reactions and the reactions are as good as the trick sometimes? And you know if David Blaine ever did magic to you, which may be very well he did, 'cause you have stories like this and you've been around town. You know how you would react just insane like that? You'd react insane, because chances are, even though you know that something's a foot, you wanna suspend disbelief, because that's gonna give you the most bang for your buck with something like magic. And so you just buy full in and your mind gets blown. And even if you can try to break it down and try to understand how he did it, and you can't, that's still very, very impressive. - I'm very sorry. I was pushing the bringing our lenses in. I wasn't paying attention. I just heard you say something of foot. That's why I left my foot. I didn't hear what anything else you said. - Yeah, no, I just stopped my foot on the way over. - No, you were talking about Billy Zane. - Mm-hmm. - With Titanic. And I haven't seen him in a minute. - I just fucking destroyed this guy. At his own fucking game. Who is the actor that played the guy that went on the boat with Leonardo DiCaprio in the movie Titanic? Billy Zane. No. - Yeah. - All right, dude, that's crazy that you said that man. That's a lot of bird speeds. That's really, you're such a good dad. - Yeah. - Do you wanna try and have a podcast? - That's easy, that's easy. - Yeah, because everyone does that. - Does one? - You're not doing magic to your kid. - Oh, I do magic. - The magic's not. - Yeah, I love magic, man. - Yeah. - I'm a good dad for other reasons. - Yeah, I know. I'm just saying. - They don't minimize my fatherhood, please. - I'm so sorry. - You made a magician, dad, whatever. That's not really, I don't appreciate it. - I believe you and I'm sorry. I don't know what I did though. So I don't know if I could do better next time unless you give me a little direction. - I don't know what we're talking about. - So do you wanna try and have a real, like do you wanna place and see your like, let's say we're auditioning for something where we just wanna see how they can place and see her. But I don't mean overly and boringly sincere. - Okay. - I mean sincere, but for like a multi-day. - That is low-can-you-go. - Yes, authentic. - As authentic as you can be. - I wanna see sincere. - You're good at this. I've seen you do this. - I wanna see sincere, that's interesting. Like it could be for a sitcom. It could be for a sketch show. It could be for a drama, anything. But just you're playing a version of sincere. - Okay. - Maybe you could make it more, maybe you could make it less. - Yeah, well, there's, I mean, there's that easy way to place sincere, completely insincerely for the joke. If you joke and sketch, it's a wide spectrum. - I would say that's what authentic sincere. Give me the tone. - I wanna play right now and I wanna find the different kinds of sincere. So I don't wanna be held down to what I have to do. This isn't a competition. And I mean that sincerely. - Yeah, and I believe you. - All right, cool. So it's really, really, really good to see you again. - You do, buddy. - Yeah. - I've been seeing you and I never remember, but too long. - Well, I mean, always, here. Oh, too long. - I know. - I'll be the same. - For the audio only listeners, I closed my eyes for a sec. I was fucking around. But. - Yeah, you're one of those guys that whenever I see him, I think to myself. Wow, it would be great if we lived in the same city. It's crazy to say that because I have that total of time. (laughing) - No, but yeah, you really, it is. It is really good to see you. - Oh my God, you too, you, you, me, you. - Okay, hey, I'll take it. (laughing) - I don't throw it right back to you. And we could share, you know what? Our appreciation for one another is like a Stanley Cup. It's a fucking tramp into a trophy, but we could share them around. (laughing) - Don't you think? - Every time we see you in the car running memory, you're just saying that because like, you see me well, but you're the funny one. I mean, we're walking here, or is Robert De Niro would say, where, or Robert De Niro, was it, no? - No, Dustin Hoffman said. - I'm walking here. - Oh, I was talking about the thing from The Fockers. I can't remember what it is. - Oh, it was Greg. - Please, come on, Greg. - But De Niro is also like that. - Jack Ty. - Jack Ty, very well. - Yes. - Gab. - Couldn't make that joke today. - No, no, it couldn't do it today. Today, what can I say about today? - Oh, but you have it so a hundred times. - It's complicated, is that fine? Is that past the test? It's complicated. - That's a movie with Ali Baldwin statement. - Right? And it is probably a movie. There's no way it's not. - Meryl Streep, maybe. - Listen, the truth is, is cancel culture a thing? Yeah, I don't know. Like, you could, just because you have freedom of speech, doesn't mean you have freedom of consequence. - Yeah, that's a great point. - And seeking a freedom of speech, did you see that when Trump-- - Cool. - Told fake news, CNN, MSNBC. - Let it go. - He said fake news, very bad, worst news coming in the year. Doing your thing. - Okay, just shoot, new straight, 'cause we need from me all the time. I thought that that was, that impression was, it took a turn where I no longer felt, I felt like in the first couple of seconds. - Fake news. - Yeah? - Okay. - Remind me how it sounds. - You brought it back. - Oh, it's probably something like. - Well, yeah, I've never done it. I've never even done it, Trump. Fake news. - I don't even know, I don't know how people do it. - Fake news, fake news. - Yeah, that's good, that's that was good. - Oh, are you okay? (laughing) Who built this table, China? (laughing) Was it China? - It's gonna be a lovely, reflecting pool. (laughing) I know he does that a lot, like I don't like that. He does a lot of it with the like that, when he with his L's like. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And he shakes his head a little bit like, right? We're changing it to superior intelligence. We'll see if it sticks. Maybe do I still have power? Oh, we'll see. - From this point forward, all of United States documents and hopefully the worlds will be changed to use the much more accurate term, super as opposed to artificial. So it's super intelligence. - SI, let's see if that goes. It sounds much better. It is much better, and it's much more accurate. Let's see if I have any power. Maybe I do and maybe I don't. We're gonna find out pretty soon. (laughing) - The actual clip. - Yeah. Have you been making stuff up? - Yeah. He talks about the reflecting pool. - You just guessed that? - Oh no, but I just said the reflecting pool. You said like a speech. - Hey, man. Listen, I don't think it's about - There are firsts. - They're rating cats and dogs. (laughing) - I think it's about the rich versus the poor, man. I really do. I think that we have made us all believe that it's different teams of different sports, but the truth is it's all class. And whether you're left or you're right, they all part of the same fraternity and sorority. You know, they go to work, they fight each other, they go to the same country clubs, they fuck the same men and women. It's a fucking cesspool, man. The electoral college, go ahead. - The sooner everybody realizes this and comes to terms with it, the better. - All right, yeah. - Yeah. - Oh, you wanna try a game with me? - Because it is a class we're out there. - Oh, let's keep talking about that for a second, right? - No, no, no. - No, seriously. - I saw everything I needed to say. So what these businesses are doing, what these CEOs are doing is they're not taking salaries. They're taking stocks and options of stocks. And as their stocks grow, they borrow against it, right? So you don't have to pay taxes on your unrealized gains. So as their gains are going up, they borrow against it and a career of some interest that is less than the taxes they would pay. And the problem isn't that, oh, we need a tax, the rich. If the problem is that the rich need be taxed, right? - That's correct. - Everyone's taxed. Yeah, Elon Musk pays taxes, but not compared to what his net value is. - Correct. - The electoral college is, well, what were you gonna say? - I was just gonna say, I would play that game. - Okay. - Yeah. - So the game is like, we are farmers, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. We are competitors and no one can tell us no one can tell us we're searching our hearts for so long both of us knowing love is a battlefield now the curtains come down the ban comes and we now have to play guitar hero. Oh, that's so fun. I would love to hear that song. I know this is that song. Excuse me. We're done. Listen to it right now. We could let them take a break. They can take your shit. No, no, no. All right. So the game is we are experts of a certain amount of categories. We are actually bright people. We are family. Please. Sorry. It had to come out. I can't even be responsible if I think of another. We are at some point, but I really want to play the game. Okay. Just be insincere. Yeah. No, that makes sense. Okay. So we're not stupid people like the contestants again aren't stupid people, but they ask us about very specific categories. And there's a decent chance that we both know everything about this category and we and it's basically called debate, right? And we debate each other. But there is a chance that you don't know about that category and I do sure and vice versa. Right. Right. And you have to just try and debate and you have to be able to debate well enough that people believe your debate. Like it has merit. Like you could convince people in some way. Sure. And however many people are convinced. Oh, you know, I saw it. If I knew nothing about the subject outside of this or this, right? We find herself in a situation where neither of us know anything about that topic, but we don't want to reveal that to the other person. I'd like to play that game. Okay. So then we'd have to just both know we have to agree on a topic. And then the game would be, how would you play that game? Would you please give us a random topic that we could debate on period? Okay. It takes me a gramma. But wait, I feel like we did this on your show once. I know I had this conversation with my dad once. Should a hot dog be considered a sandwich? It sounds like a familiar conversation to me. Yeah. I don't think it is. I hear it. Why don't we do Israel Palestine? What do you want to do about it? I'll debate one, you debate one. Okay. Pro like. Yeah. There's the food. Yeah. Oh, I've done this podcast. What about the electoral college? Okay. But what I'm what I'm trying to say is what you go, you go. No, no, I have a question about the approach. Are we supposed to outwardly say, I don't know enough about that, but then we can I give you a, or do you want to play? And then you just like I give you a line, right? Can you give you a line, right? Sure. Okay. Let's say we're talking about the Magnum roller coaster at Cedar Point in Sendusky, Ohio. Okay. That's what we have to talk about. Okay. That does have to be like debating top points. We're just like talking about it even. Okay. Did you know that the Magnum from when it was built for, I don't remember when at least to the rest of the 90s, it was the tallest roller coaster in the country. I thought I had heard something like that. So you didn't know that. No. Oh, yes. No, no. I'm playing. I'm playing the game. Yeah. No, but you have to know everything about you. You know, we both have to act like we know everything about it. I have to prove that I'm a better expert than you. But do you know that? Or are you bluffing that just now? Exactly. Do you see what I'm saying? Okay. Well, the other one now. But what I'm saying is the because the backstory of our characters are neither one of us know about the other thing. So if I say something's true, if you say it's not true, you don't know it's not true. You'll get caught. Okay. So you just have to accept that it is or you could take a chance and try and figure out just the other person. No, that's actually not true and see if they stumble or if they call them race. Okay. Do you get it? So you clearly don't know that much about the Magnum unless you were joking around. I don't know anything about it. Or do I Sandusky Ohio's what you said, right? I might have been there last year matter of fact. Might ever were. I mean, I always go through on the holidays. Really? Yeah. Which park? The Sandusky Ohio Park. Oh, shout out to you. Sometimes the people think there's two parks like Adventureland and Disneyland. No, there's only one location. Okay. Did you go on the wrap? I got a discount. If you don't know that, I'll go on the website. Yeah, I don't on Wednesdays to have off. Yeah, so I don't go for always a discount to have an annual pass. Did you go on the Raptor? Didn't that shut down? I mean, might have been shut down for rain or something for a little bit, but it was there when I was there. It was shut down. Shut down or open for like they were trying to fix it up. Well, maybe was it. I didn't see it. Oh, so it wasn't the Raptor. You see the Raptor. Yeah, I can't speak to it. Did you go on that arcade? I played the crane. Yeah, I like to play a dance dance revolution. Yeah, they have the double one there, which is fun because you end up sitting right around the thing watching them, everybody. Oh, funny. I just stand up there and each loser gets off and the next one comes on. So I'm playing. Oh, I don't play. I just watch with dance and revolution. So you just go to my aunt lose there. And I was that's why I was there during the week. That's why I was able to go on a Wednesday. We had nothing to do. And I was like, oh, my God, it's half on Wednesday. You just went to Cedar Point and watched kids play dance dance revolution all day adults, adults, kids, people of all ages. We all know that arcade is mostly kids. Maybe it's because I was there during school hours that I was mostly adults. Okay. Yeah. When did you say you went? I think that's September. No, I didn't say that. You said last year this year. What month? What's that? What month? When did I go to where? Cedar Point. Oh, just that day, you mean? Yeah. Because I've been there more than once. What month do you usually go? Usually when it turns in like fall, I went in the summer and I paid the price for that because it was a really hot muggy day. I didn't have proper skin protection. I actually got sunburn on my shoulder. So bad that it actually I got sunspots from that. And I never had that before my entire life. So the next hour I went back only one of the time was around like the Halloween fried fried thing. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Halloween at Cedar Point. Yeah. So you went during the summer, watched the kids playing dance dance revolution. You know, when that opened in like the late the late 70s, I think it was, when that opened in an area, that was the first amusement park in like almost all of like that region of Ohio. There was Geogalake. Maybe Geogalake came after. Actually, I'm an expert at Cedar Point. I don't know when Geogalake opened. Yeah. It was after Cedar Point. But you know, I guess you considered Jersey not the area because of course, you know, Atlantic City and sure. Two wildly different things. Yeah. Well, Atlantic City, you know, is a monopoly. The streets are named after the streets in Atlantic City. Well, that's that's some of them. There's lots of different ones. Railroads are connected. No, no, but the streets. Yeah. Well, do you think that was intentional? It was out of matter of chance. I think they probably dug into the community chest. I feel like I should send you straight to jail. I won't even pass go. I won't even collect my $200. You know, it's funny that you say that because taking money is kind of a symbol of your generation. Don't you think so? Sure, but, um, look, what can I say? I'm just feeling good. $10 in a beauty contest. I just realized that you don't know anything about monopoly. That's not true. Beauty contest. Yeah. In what monopoly? Was that a community chest thing? Every single one. Really? I don't know that one. Maybe you don't know what you're talking about. No, the truth is I was testing you because we weren't actually experts of monopoly. It was Atlantic City. That's right. And I noticed that you couldn't fin that show that well, but you did a good job parking your place. Well, we came up Broadway to get here. We were a few minutes late. Yeah, we could take the boardwalk. Not when it's free parking. Do you feel like because of impractical jokers, you have a monopoly on all the comedy podcasts in this city? I absolutely did not feel that way. All right. I, you know what? Well, I'm noticing that you're a little flustered. Like you want to have sex with me because you're a little bit of a hoe. I could tell. Oh, wow. Wow. Well, let me tell you. Yeah. Good luck. You could roll the dice. Oh, we're going there. Hey, man. Okay. I was playing more in the utility sense. Listen, it's a dog fight. Yeah, man. I don't want to railroad you. Neon. Do I? I don't want to throw all this nonsense in a wheelbarrow and just blow it down the hill. Yeah, I would you, man. Unless you wanted to kind of like take your chances on the fry box. Sure. Sure. Yeah. I just keep zooming out. You know, as I'm bold to get out. Yeah, really? Yeah. Yeah. I was just, I was just kind of thinking about this permanently. I'm out on a brother's merger. That's fun. Did we play the game, right? Yeah, it's an monopoly. I think we both knew that we knew, oh no, but how is the one way about the park? Buddy. It's a dissolvable concept. I just wanted to play. Yeah. You know? Yeah. That's what people like. That's what the rules are. It's like, if we're doing a competition, I agree. If we're playing, we need to limit the rules. What was the time you used to phrase dissolvable concept? Have you ever? Maybe. Is that a thing? Is that a turn of phrase? I don't know. Probably, I don't know. I've never heard of used. But you know what I'm talking about, right? Exactly. You're meant. Sure. I just wonder if that's a turn of phrase, or not even a turn of phrase. I feel like I've never heard anybody say that. I feel like the way it's all dissolvable. I could think of it as like, if you're writing a TV show and you want to have a really specific hook to make it sell, but also then you don't want to be narrowed into this thing. So the pilot could be whatever the concept is, it could kind of dissolve some, and you just kind of keep the characters in their relationships, which is what makes all great shows shows. Sure. Excuse me. Which is make all great shows, great shows. Let's make shows great again. You're fine. So Ari, man, it's shout out to Ari who, this is his studio at least in part. I don't know what the practice is. Ari is a comedian and a friend, and this is his studio, Melrose podcast. And I would say free plug, but there is in every single one because he puts this stick around there. Got it. I don't know. I'm okay with that. I'm just wondering like, I wouldn't think. Like you know, a lot of people like this, they have it right here, Melrose podcast. I don't put the take your shoot, like people need to see that on there. But somebody reached out and I forget who you are. I don't remember if I wrote back, but like they make custom those things. That's like a business that this person is doing, they're like fabricate their own, not just put the name on it, but like maybe you could be like a dinosaur or something. Okay. And I forgot to write back, but I was kind of like, yeah, I checked that out. I was like, maybe you just put like a, like it would be great if there's like very realistic. You made one for every episode and you got it like a bust of my face and of the guest. So on there, it's of the guest. And that's where they get to take with them. Wow. That would be cool. And if this podcast is doing real well, we'll also give them the shore mic. Wow. And if I ever had Mike shore on the podcast, I just, Mike, I just wouldn't put anything on it. Right. Because he kind of looks like a, he's a black cylinder. Mike shore? No, the shore microphone. Oh, yeah. Okay. First space. You're not. Yeah. Did the viewer hear that? Did the viewer feel that? The way that we're feeling that? You see, if you were a listener, it depends on, I would say, you see what you say here. You see that way? You're going to say here. You just say audience. Okay. Or if I'm talking to specifically the viewers. Right. Everybody. If everybody goes to etch shoes off pod on Instagram or TikTok and follows it, I'll give you $5,000 and we get, we'll give you $5,000. Like, I like the dismount on that one. $1,000. You know, the next, the next podcast is about to be, is about to be about how like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we're just talking about this, feeling the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What? I tried. Was that me? Was that me? Was that him? Did you get that? I didn't get that. I was saying, the next podcast is going to be about how, you know, how difficult it is to get pregnant as you get older and the realization that the, you know, hormone disrupting pills to change our menstrual cycles is actually harming us in ways that we never realized. And like important conversation and we're like, okay, I know, I know, I know what you mean. You just meant the next podcast you have is going to be the podcast. And I was going to have you fill in the blank of what that next podcast is juxtaposed to. You're fired. Got you. Okay. Now I understand what you're saying. Yeah. I don't know if I understand what I'm saying now. Now I do. Are you being serious? Yeah. Are you, are you, could you be mic'd? She said we filmed that exact podcast and I and be my, I never knew that there was any study on the connection between fertility, length and the pill, you know, what do you call that? Like, you know, like a birth control, not specifically a pill. Like, yeah, like birth control and you did a podcast now that those two things are related. The morning after pills. Do you mean? No, that, that's, that's, that's, that's inconsistent. All of it just fucks with the woman's hormones. I don't think men know that when they come inside a woman and then, oh, the, oh, whatever, just she'll take the pill. It, it, it, it will at least affect her hormones. If not to the point to where it throws everything. I don't like to take antibiotics unless I need them. I don't want to have to take a pill every time. If men had to take the pill every time they came in a woman, you believe women run the world. The shit all countries, yeah, that's what I'm talking about, I understand. Uh, it's, it's, uh, I feel like do I owe the, the, the, the, the audience and apology? For what? I just sold very high through this. Well, listen, I think it's important that now we kind of got all the bros in. We could say, Hey, guys, I don't think you realize this. Well, women walk through the world differently than you do. It's the truth. You ever walk by a really like scary looking dog, it's not necessarily even growling at you, but like you know this thing could hurt you. And it's on a leash and the person holding the leash isn't really holding it tight. They're talking to somebody else. They're a little distracted and they're at the door to the coffee shop or the GNC to go by new creatine. I got, I'm there. And you open, go run, open the door, you're just going to kind of, you're going to pay attention to the dog. Yeah. Because it could hurt you, right? Yeah. Right. Women walk through the world, not knowing all of the dogs, society, society, can hurt you. Maybe one of them doesn't act well with other dogs. Maybe one of them is hungry. Maybe one of them had their egos hurt once. So maybe one of them grabs them by the pussy because you're a celebrity, you're a celebrity. I'm going to pull it up so I could hear what it sounds like. When Donald Trump was talking to Billy Bush about grab them by the pussy when you're a celebrity comma, I would love to hear the audio of that. And if possible, you could teach me how to do an impression of it. I said, oh, wait, this is, right, this is that Google, that's YouTube. They don't do that. Does anybody make a song out of it? She's, I moved on her actually. You know, she was at a Palm Beach. I moved on her and I felt all in a minute, I did try and fuck her. She was married. She was there. No, Nancy. Yeah. No, this was, and I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, I'll save you with that. That's a nice furniture. I took her out furniture. I moved on her like a bitch. Yeah. They couldn't get there. Dogs. And all of a sudden, I see her. She's now got the big phone intense and everything. She's totally changed her voice. She's your girl's hottest shit. They're in the purple. No. Yes. Yes, the daughter of this. I don't think I ever heard of this. Oh, my man. Oh, my man. Oh, my man. Oh, my man. You got to look at me. You got to look at me too. I got to look at me. You can do anything. Whatever you want. Grab them by the pushy. You're a mother. Those legs, I like it. See the legs. No, it's good. Come on, Shorty. You know, you know, uh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did Billy Bush at the end say, come on, Shorty? I don't know, but because I don't know, I don't know, but he just said it. So you have to put it back. That's could be as it reaches his grandma, the pussy. If he said, come on, Shorty, it's hysterical for me. I can do anything. See the legs. No, I want to play. Come on, Shorty. We're natural legs, huh? I'm actually wearing Trump. Maybe he's like watching horse racing. Come on, Shorty. He said that Billy Bush said the dollar in reference over. Come on, Shorty. When I go in a locker room, I blame 50 cents. Do you know what I talk about? Yeah. Getting our heads back in the game. That's right. I don't talk about grabbing them by the pussy unless the pussy is the other team's goal. That's right. And you grab the goal. And that's how you score a goal. What's bored? Pussy grabbing basketball. That's right. That's where the peen, the basketball is the penis outside, it's outside the WNB now. And the hoop is the pussy. And every time I dunk, I grab them by the pussy. That's the only way I would ever say that. - In a locker room. - Yes. In fact, I've, I've fingered women, I've eaten women out. I've even pleasureed their G-spot where you push, you pull up like this, but I never pulled it out like this where I felt like I was grabbing them. I've never grabbed the woman by the pussy. - When you fingered the woman like who was the woman, what was like, what was the crime, they were committing. - Oh, like, I mean, I think I know the joke you're saying. You're saying, I went like this and I went like this, like I'm a cop. - I don't know, you fingered when you fingered a criminal, isn't it like catching a criminal in the act or identifying a criminal? - The only thing I could think of is getting caught red handed. But I don't think there's fingering anything for a criminal. - No, I think you could finger a criminal. - I mean, I know you can, and you could become one at the same time. - Yeah, that's correct. No, I think criminals get fingered. - You say that's a trend of friends. - If a criminal gets fingered, it's not a good thing for the criminal. It depends on which fingering you're talking about. - Are you saying this is a thing that like when cops like finger that, that perp? - Okay, if a criminal was like-- - If a criminal was like, if a criminal was like, I got fingered, if the criminal's over, they got fingered, I would say in a good way or a bad way. - I just don't know what you're saying. - You could do-- - Giving the police officer the middle finger is not a crime. - No, no, no. This is like old cops. - Superior intelligence. (laughing) - I think, you know, I, oh, maybe it's framing a person. - Yeah, it's not so much different. - Yeah, fingers, no, no, no, no. If I was an old cop on the, and I fingered, the criminal life-- - Yeah, because it was fucking-- - I foiled the criminal. I found out who the criminal was, I think. - If what you're saying is it, it seems like you can't put your finger on it. - You're right. - It's not fingering a criminal. Hey, you know what, there's a lot of evidence against them. Let's finger the perp. - No, no, no, no, no. Like, the perpetrator was fingered by the officer when they found his shoe tracks in the mud. - So they tracked him down and they put their fingers in his ass because that's the only way that means something. - Right, right. As at some point, they get fingered. - Oh, so, they do. - Now you're sounding like, Donald Trump, it's some boy, they get fingered. - That's right. If I was a criminal who was never fingered, I would have been a criminal who has never gone to jail. That's a true sentence. - No, there's no way that every criminal that goes to jail only went to jail because they got fingered. - Oh, maybe they, oh, fingerprint? Fingerprinted? Not fingerprinted, but like they fingered him. Maybe that's where the free came from. - No. - Yes, they caught the criminal because they matched the fingerprint. - That's called the matching prints. They don't say fingered. - No, but that could be the etymology. That could be the-- - No, no. - There was never fingered because the etymology would only come once that technology exists. I'm gonna put that in the, maybe the '80s, the '70s. I don't know, I know DNA wasn't until the '90s. - Okay, that's a good one. - Right, 'cause of OJ stuff. - Okay, but maybe, maybe, and this is like, I would say 80, 20, 20% in this direction. Fingerprint can mean you frame someone and set them up. - That's you. - Like Freddie got fingered? - No. - Was Freddie got fingered about getting set up? - I think Freddie got fingered was about getting fingered. Like, like-- - Freddie, you're not making a good case for yourself. - Physically fingered. He would take us behind the, didn't he say that, but on the bar and it fingered us. - Who said this? - Tell us Edison. I'm gonna finger him for the crime. I don't know, I don't know. - It's serious. - I think that's serious. 80, 20, I think it's like, someone got caught, I caught him and I fingered him. And I think 20% is like, he fingered me for a crime. I didn't do. - Oh wait. - That's just a fingering on top of a double cross. - What the fuck? - Yeah, I think we could look it up. - Try looking it up. - Okay. - Cut too, cut too. I was 17 years old when I started taking the pill for my acne and I've noticed that, because the cystic fibrosis, they could have just, like do you know how many women go to doctors with unbelievably painful periods and the doctors send them home because the doctors, things are being dramatic. - Right. - And how many times it's misdiagnosed? - They stole the action. - Just to be clear, I'm not making fun of the lack of education on women's bodies. We are making a little bit of fun of the people that decide that they get to control them. - Sure. - And a little stone boy, I think it's funny that I know what we're saying is not important. But I don't wanna not be saying this 'cause I think it's important in that order. - Very sincere. And I wanna say-- - Don't move your hands, but look at him. Jay-Z. - Hove? - Yeah. - This? - Yeah. - Okay, very nice. Very nice, very nice. - Very nice indeed. - Tell the day goodnight. - Sincere. - What I wanna say is, and I know this goes without saying, but I wanna say it anyway. - Don't even worry about it. - I know how bad the Donald Trump impression is. - I thought about how bad the Donald Trump impression is. - I'm doing it because I know I'm not doing it. - But are you trying your hardest? 'Cause I am. - Yeah, but that doesn't amount to much. - That's what I'm saying, man. We could not be embarrassed about our limitations. I mean, we can't be embarrassed about them without being ashamed of them. - I'm not ashamed of them, but I'm just saying. - I just don't wanna see that such a terrible impression. What is he doing? - I mean, Donald Trump, if Donald Trump was never, nobody knew who it was. And then people are like, "Hey, and this president is a weirdo." Here's some of his quotes. And then Donald Trump does exist, but nobody knows. I mean, he's not the president. And then he goes, "Hey, how do you think this whack-job president would sound?" And Donald Trump goes, "We're the kids, we're the dogs." But it sounds like him. It's actually him. You'd be like, "That's fucking nuts." That's not a good impression. That's such a specific character that he is. And a lot of people from Long Island, I've noticed. I noticed that 'cause I have family in Long Island, and they kind of sound like Trump sometimes. And I know Bill Mars from Jersey, or at least I think he is, but he kind of sounds like Trump sometimes. - Oh, Bill Mars from Jersey. - Yeah, so there's something in the area where it's like it's-- - It's don't you, it's Donald Trump, the dogs like this. - Yeah. Shane Gillis does a good Donald Trump. - It does very good. - The guy on SNL does really good too. - You ever see, like, so so many people do a good Trump. - Thank you. - Yeah, and. - That's actually, thank you. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, so saying, yeah. - And sometimes I'm like, "Oh, that is, without a doubt, "that's eight. "If I close my eyes, that's the best I heard." And then I'll hear another one. I go, "No, no, wait, wait. "How is it that that's different than that, "but I think maybe down that's it?" And so, like, I can't tell you who did, so many people do it so well. I can't tell you who really, really does it. Like, I wonder if we closed our eyes and heard all of them. - Like this? - Yeah, but that's something like that. - You do it. - I wonder if we closed our eyes, you know, and heard all the, like, the five best tricks. - I open them yet. If we could tell A, who those Trump impressions are, or B, if one of them was actually Trump, or not. - I never even thought about it like that. - It's like a fun Trump game. - F-T-G-E. - He should, he can't, if he's, don't steal it. He watches, he watches, right? - Yeah. - That's a, I'm trademarking it right here. - I've been up with the claws, you know, about that claws, you could trademark stuff orally. - I love how in the Santa Claus movie with Tim Allen, they made it like claws as a, as in a contract. And when Santa Claus fell off the roof, Tim, there's a claws in it, he had to take his place. I just love that. Did you remember that? - Yeah. - Good. - Yeah. - Wanna see something crazy? - One's last time they made one of those. - Yes, not. Santa Claus? - Yeah. - Yeah, show me. - I think they, they, they, they think they made a TV show. I remember when I was working on a show in the Fox lot, I think it was for ABC. So, 2024, maybe. It was like, I think Tim Allen was in it. I know it was a, - It looks like you're fingering him. - Oh, well, he was a bad boy. - Yeah. - And I was under arrest. - And you know who did it now? You caught him in the air. - Oh, oh my gosh, oh yes, little baby. You know, that part in the butt, we go, like not in the butt, but like the, above the tail. - Have you played the Christmas, the Chipmunks song room? - Yeah. - Yeah, so he's heard his name yelled like, from Dave Seville. - No, we never go that far. - Oh, wouldn't that be the point? - No, I just wanted to hear how good he sings if he ever starts singing. I want it to start singing. - Just a little baby. Oh my goodness, oh my goodness. I get the best cuddles from him at nighttime. I put him like this. And he stays like this, and he falls asleep like that. - Oh my god. - That's great. I'm so glad. Very sincere. I've never had a dog before. They're reading the dogs. They're reading the cats. - So just to let people inside on our friendship, a little, I'm in New York for a couple of the days. So I was like, whatever you let me know, we'll figure it out, we'll find some time. We could, we could podcast, we could just hang out. And so we were gonna do dinner. We are gonna do dinner. - We're doing dinner tonight. shout out to, it's called Orish. - Shout out an older generation thing now. Do young people say shout out? - I don't think so. - I feel like shout out, I still say it, but I feel like it had a day day like in the 90s or something. But I just wonder if that's a regular vernacular right now if we're saying something. - I don't think it's regular vernacular, but I think it's understeer vernacular. In fact, and I use it for the utility in a similar way that I would say spoiler alert, not with as much weight though. Like if I just say the name Orish, people like they won't clock it. But when I say shout out, they're like, oh, he's mentioning this for us to know. - Sure, yes. - So like shout out. I'm shouting something out real quick. - Of course. - I'm just wondering if people use it like that. I think people might just take the out now and go shouts to. - I don't think so. - Shout out. - Are you Gen Z? Yes. What do you say if like if something in that situation? - I have no idea. - Yeah, because you were raised by screens. - Did you say shout out? Did you ever say shout out to whomever? - No. - No, okay. But do you ever shout people out and do it without saying shout out? 'Cause she just might never shout anything out. - I don't think I ever shout out. - Yeah, you don't have to shout out when you're on your phone instead of being in person. I'll tell you this country. - Yeah. - You know how I know this country's going to shit? Oh, wait a minute. I don't know that. Why am I being so pessimistic? We could be the change. Steve Harvey. - All right, well, I thought of Mr. Dawson, but we'll go to the death of the screen. - So what was that, oh, so we're going to go to dinner now. - Yeah. - And I'm excited about that. I'm going to maybe take a little bit more of an ed. - We're doing an ed? - Yeah. - Cool. - Yeah. - We're doing, why not now? I mean, we just, I've already. - So last night I'm in my hotel and I wanted cake. - Did you try to bite everything until something might not have been cake? - No, no, no, no. I had been cake. - No, I wasn't, I get what you're saying. - Yeah. - I'm saying I actually wanted to know something was cake. And the hotel that I was at had two different kinds of cakes that were both beacons that are chocolate cakes with the call different things. I mean, cheeseburgers, I think four different chocolate cakes have even included the cheesecake. It's weird, the many layers, the little ares that are between, and they're very different. So, and I went, I actually went downstairs. And like I'm asking them questions about the cake to figure out what I would want to order. - Yeah. - And I'm like, I'm not going to do it. I really want to, but I'm not going to do it. Not going to do it. Because I knew I was going to get high with you tonight. - No, I'm not going to do it. - Not going to do it. - No, that was good. - No, thank you. (laughing) - No, I'm not going to do it. (laughing) - No, I'll say, I'll say, I'm not going to do it. (laughing) - I'm not going to do it. - Do we ever find out the move of the knockoff of is it cake? - Yeah, it was your show. I thought it was you when you did it. - No, it's not my show. (snoring) - Oh, dude, I'm ready. - Okay. - Hold on, ready? - All right. - I'm not going to let people, I'm not going to let, they watch this much. They got to have that answer. - Okay. - There's a new show very similar to is it cake? What's it called? - Thank you, good night. - Okay, here we go. - The music is distinct. - Sweet, deceit. - The music already picked up. - Posted? - Josh? - Heck. - We're not going to hear it. - Shout out to Josh Peck. - I love that guy. - But it's just the audio. - He's the funniest guy in the world. - The thumbnails are already up. - And I had 22 seconds countdown. - So we got him. - Sure. - We're almost there. and we're out.