Sagittarius Season, Recalibrating and Self Care 101

Hello and welcome back to the Yoga Magic Podcast. I'm your host, Ashley Sondergaard. Thanks so much for tuning in, everyone. If you're listening on the day this airs, it is Thanksgiving. I'm so grateful to have your ears listening in each week on all things self-care, self-discovery, just listening to me sometimes literally ramble on the podcast on the microphone. I'm so appreciative. Hopefully, this is a resource for you that brings you lots of ideas, lots of motivation to put some time and energy into yourself in order to really live that life that you want to live, in order to help others, to be really grateful for the things that you're doing on a day-to-day basis. So I'm grateful for you. Today's episode, we're going back to the yoga magic podcast. Thanks so much for tuning in. Thanks for tuning in. Today's episode, we're going back to some of the basics around self-care. I was polling Ali on Instagram about what it is you want to talk about this week, and we really might need a little recalibration in the self-care department because frankly, it is really hard at this time of the year. I will admit this is such a frenetic energy time of year where there just feels like there's so many things to do, so many people to stay in contact with, rekindle with. I feel a lot of to-dos. I feel a lot of pressure, frankly, and I know I've heard from a lot of you that you feel the same, and that some of those practices, those things that really nurture the self go by the wayside. And I mean, that's true a lot of the year, but right now especially, it can be really helpful to come back to some of the basics, the things, the simple practices that make you feel really good, and just make sure that you're talking about that. But before we do, we're talking about Sagittarius season, friends. We are now fully into Sag season, when the sun changes signs. This doesn't necessarily mean a whole lot for us as a collective, but what it can be really interesting to know is when you have that prominent energy in your chart, so in this case, Sagittarius, what is it like to use that to use that energy in order to show up as that bright and bold self? And so for the next 12 signs, I'm going to talk about what it means to shine really bright in those particular signs when they change signs. So just if you are a Sagittarius, it is your time of the year, and we're going to talk about you. So Sagittarius, if you are maybe a Sagittarius sun, you have a prominent Sag energy, maybe you're a Sag rising, or you have a lot of Sagittarius in your chart, this is for you to listen up. Sagittarius is the sign of wisdom, of knowing. And one of my favorite ways to really study astrology and understand the basics of the signs is to look at their opposites. How are they similar and how are they the same? The opposite sign of Sagittarius is Gemini. Gemini is an air sign, which is about intellect, about asking questions, about learning new things. Sagittarius is a fire sign, and it is also about learning new things, but in a very different way. Whereas Gemini is really interested in asking the questions, learning through conversation, and agreeing that it can be yes and yes, that the answers can be the same and they can also be different. It's that duality, it's the twins. Sagittarius has a deep knowing of what the truth is, and that deep inner wisdom comes from within. And that's why we say Sagittarius is the sign of wisdom, because it knows when to put its foot down. Sag energy knows to say, you know, this is my truth and I'm going to stand by this. In its positive expression, again, in its light, in its energy source, this is really showing up as confidence in knowing. This is the ability to go out and experience life through osmosis and learn things by just going out there and doing it, seeing it, and not necessarily needing to be with other people. Sagittarius really loves to go out and experience the world. Sagittarius is the sign of wisdom, because it knows when to put its foot on its own and knowing, understanding, finding those deep wisdoms, those deep learnings through those life experiences. The shadow side to this is that there can be sort of a know-it-all energy to Sagittarius. And so it can be helpful to keep an open mind. If you're strong, sad, you've got a lot of that in your chart, know that you are very wise, you have lots of information, and sometimes other things can be true as well. So keeping that mind really, really open. Another cool thing I love about Sag is that it is the most optimistic of all the signs. So if you have a lot in your chart, you see the world. You do see the world in this really positive lens. And I think that's because you see the world in the big picture, right? That we're part of something bigger. We're part of something that's connected to things that we can't see, to God, to spirituality, to whatever it is that you believe in. The world is so much bigger than sort of the narrow view that we might see on a day-to-day basis. And Sag really gets that. So happy Sag, everyone. Again, if you have a lot of that in your chart, I love the energy. I love that fiery spirit, that wisdom, that optimism, and that motivation to go out and experience life literally through osmosis, through experiencing all of the things. All right, my friends, we're going to talk a little bit about self-care. We're coming back to the thing that really started this show, why I'm so interested in this conversation. First and foremost, why self-care, right? This term, has been, I mean, it's so buzzy now that it almost has kind of lost its meaning. And I want to talk about self-care through the lens of practices, well-being practices that you do for yourself. And we're going to talk about why this is important in a moment. Now, if you're like, Ashley, why or, you know, who are you to say that you can talk about these things? I've been teaching yoga for 11 years, have done quite extensive research on my own in just what it means to stay consistent with practice is to find things that work for you. And I'm a certified health coach. And so I understand that these things are coming from within, that these are practices that are motivated and they're derived from you, from your mind, the things that are important to you. It's not helpful for me to tell you, you need to do this. It's not helpful for somebody on Instagram to say, you should do this, or your yoga teacher to say, you should do this. And we're not going to say that. I'm not going to say that in this conversation. It's really going to help you figure out what's important to you and why you do these practices, why you take care of yourself in the first place. So let's get back to it. Why self-care? This is about nervous system regulation at the end of the day, right? It's about being able to tap into the parasympathetic nervous system versus the sympathetic nervous system. And what we know is that our bodies as westernized individuals, as consumers, as Americans are just kind of in that high state of stress, in a chronic state of stress all the time. We're in the sympathetic nervous system, which is fight or flight so much of the day. And what we know about being the parasympathetic nervous system is that our body is able to do its normal functions, like digest its food, like take a moment to rest, to sleep better, to be intimate with a partner. There's this really, really great book that I talk about all the time in the show called The Parasympathetic Nervous System. And it's about being able to do its normal functions burnout that talks about, you know, how we can close the stress loop, how we can get out of a chronic state of stress. And they, it was actually had come from another book by the same author about the female orgasm, because what she found in that original book is that people wanted to talk about how their mental load and their chronic state of stress was preventing them, women specifically, from being able to orgasm. So these things, when our bodies are in a constant state of stress, we can't even function in a normal basis. Now you're like, oh my gosh, Ashley, you're stressing me out when you're talking about this. Here's the good news, everybody. There are really simple things to do to get our bodies into a regulated state, into the parasympathetic nervous system. Being in a stress state is not a bad thing. It's actually good. We want our bodies to be in stress. Good stress are examples of things like a workout, right? Like a hard workout where your body's being stressed or doing something that stimulates your mind. Like work out, right? Like a hard workout where your body's being stressed or doing something that you know you're going to come up with a solution to. And each time that we do these, you know, good stresses, each time that we work through something, we become more resilient. We're able to come out stronger on the other side. So stress is not a bad thing. In fact, our bodies are really adapted to handle it. What isn't so great is when we're in that state literally the entire day. And so little simple tools, things that we're going to talk about today, gives us the ability to tap back into that parasympathetic nervous system. And that's what we're going to talk about today. This is why I talk about those short, easy practices throughout the day that make the biggest difference. They give us that opportunity to come back, to digest our food, to be able to go to the bathroom, to hug our partner, to take some time and just be with ourselves, down-regulate and bring ourselves back into homeostasis. Another reason why self-care, why we talk about it in the first place and why I'm obsessed with it is because it's contagious. You all know that when you're talking to somebody who's having a hard time, you're talking to somebody who's having a hard time, you're talking to somebody who's in their vibe, who's like been able to do some of the things that they like to do, get their workout. in that morning, maybe read for a little bit, have some time to meditate for just a few minutes, even, even someone that is maybe a little bit stressed, but still is able to be resilient. Like that is contagious. I want to be around those people. I want to be around the people that are able to move through truly authentically move through stress rather than spreading it. Right. And so by, if anything, you know, this is benefiting other people when you're able to work through those things that cause stress for you, provide a little bit more self-care for yourself. Other people experience the benefits just by being around you. So, okay. What is self-care and what is it not? I lead a workshop for a lot of organizations specifically on this topic. And I find this to be such an interesting conversation around self-care because we're told a lot of things about what it should be, right? Marketing tells us what it should be. Our friends tell us what it should be. People that are our peers or even coaches and people that we really trust tell us what it should be. And that's great. That's helpful. That gives us ideas. But like I said earlier, at the end of the day, this is really about what works for you and knowing that there are different layers. Now I have to give credit to my friend April, who's been on the show before. She's amazing. She is a psychologist. She studies this just like me, but in a very different capacity. She introduced me to the concept of there being layers of self-care. Three layers specifically. The first layer being our basic human needs. Now you're like, well, duh, of course this makes sense. But here's the funny thing about this, everybody. And you know that I'm right. The basic human needs, sleep, food, water, we're not even doing that a lot of days, right? We're literally not even going to the bathroom until the last possible second. I'm guilty of this. I'll get on a workflow and I will have to pull myself out and be like, oh my gosh, I'm having to go to the bathroom. We're like, two hours. I'm going to pee my pants here. I have to go, right? Or even just like scarfing down food in the last possible second when your blood sugar has completely dropped and you're hangry. These are these basic needs that if we're not at baseline giving ourselves that, we know that's where we need to start, right? And for most of us, this is where we start. We look and say, am I drinking water throughout the day? Am I sleeping? Are there things that I can do to manage and help improve my sleep? So this is self-care in itself, right? Basic human needs, getting back to those layers, that layer one and saying to yourself, am I giving myself even this? I deserve this 100%. Everyone deserves this. Layer two are more of those like everyday practices, which we talk about a lot on this show. Meditation, breath work, movement, getting out in nature. What's really cool about this second layer, and we're going to talk about it in a little bit, is that this is ultimately free. Like most of these practices cost us nothing. And we're not going to be able to do that. So we're going to be able to do that and we're not going to be able to do that. So we're going to be able to do that. So we're going to be not a lot of time and they can make a huge difference in the day. So we'll spend a lot of time in layer two. Layer three is that more like indulgent self-care of getting a massage, going on a little vacation, things that we can't do all the time, but can feel really good and that you can potentially save up for. They can rebuild, rekindle some of that fire within, but they're not something we get to do every day. Now, what is self-care not? Self-care is not a should. It's not something that someone is telling you you have to do. And if it's something that you're doing just to check it off the list and it brings you no joy, it is not self-care. There are times when, yes, we do need to maybe light a fire under our butts to go out and do something like exercise, but ultimately, you know, at the end of the day that it brings you joy and maybe it doesn't, then you know, it's not for you. But hearing someone say to you, you have to do something is not reason enough to do it as it relates to self-care, right? You are the one who knows. And it can be really important and really helpful to ask yourself, why? Why am I doing this? Why is this important to me in the first place? Now, we've talked about the planet Venus before on this show, and Venus is a great planet to understand what your values are, what's important to you. So if you want to tie this into astrology, check out your Venus. You would sign your Venuses in and get the flavor of your Venus. But what understanding what your Venus is, what's important to you, what's important to you, what's values are, can be so helpful in tying this practice of self-care, these individual practices to the larger picture of what is important to you. Why? Now, I'll give an example for myself. Self-care is important to me because it allows me to be a better mother. It allows me to be the fullest version of myself and have autonomy over myself so that I can experience my life in the fullest way, both as a mother and as an individual. That's really important to me. I want to have that autonomy. I want to have that individual time to myself to do the things that I alone love, not as just a mother, but as a human, as an individual, as Ashley, right? So this is important to me because. So take a moment. I want you to pause, grab a journal, and we're going to do a little bit of exploration in this area, asking yourself these specific questions, tying back what you're doing and how it's connected to your larger vision of your life, right? Why is this important to you, right? Why is self-care important to you? By exploring your vision for the future, for wellness, for what it is that you want in this life, what's important to you, you can bring it back to the now. How does this particular thing that I'm doing, this particular practice, work into the larger picture of what I want in the future? So a couple journal prompts. I'm going to put these in the chat box. I'm going to put these in the show notes as well. First, what is most important to you? What is most important to you in this life? What do you value? Second, how is your health, wellbeing, and your personal self-care practices? How are they directly correlated with the things that are most important to you? And then finally, what's getting in the way? What's getting in the way of prioritizing your own needs right now? So a little bit of visualizing, a little bit of dreaming, and then getting specifically into the now. How is this applied? So take a pause, do a little bit of journaling, and come back when you're ready. Okay. Next up, goal setting. So if you could take some action, you know now what's important to you, know your vision for the future. If you were to take some action on your own self-care practices starting today, what would you do? Where would you start? What could you do that could make the biggest difference that you know brings you joy? Now, start small. We know that it can be really fun to lay out your goals. So if you're a huge plan, we'll use like nutrition and eating in a healthy way, quote unquote, as a vision, the thing that you want to do. That can take a lot of energy. That can take a lot of effort. So starting really small, and I'll use myself as an example, something I've done in the past, adding more protein into my diet. I'm going to start there. How can I add more protein into my diet? Get really specific about what it is that you're setting, the goal that you're setting. How often are you going to do it? When are you going to do it? Where? What are you going to wear? With whom? Get specific. So that you have the details around this. How long are you going to do this? How are you going to track this? Is it realistic? Is it doable? And who can support you? How can you have some accountability here? Now, what I'm laying out is what we call a smart goal in coaching, but it really can be used, can be applied in any sort of goal that you're setting by getting really specific, by being, you know, able to actually accomplish something, starting small, knowing that you can get to this goal. You're able to accomplish it and you build that confidence. So set a goal and start small, start to go from there, start to build that confidence. Okay. So now that you've got that vision and you've got some specifics, it's time to put it into action, right? To get really honest with yourself. Like, when can I start doing this? Can you start right now? Can you start today? What's getting in the way? What, how have you been successful at this in the past? Really playing up on your strengths, asking yourself how you can get creative to continue to be able to commit to this. Now I have to admit, you know, when we talk about self-care, when we talk about these issues that are difficult, that make this challenging and why you voted on the Instagram poll that I put out on help me in self-care is that our world is telling us that these things aren't important, that we as women are not worthy of this time. And we're going to get radical and literally say that is completely false. And that we know if you're listening to this show, you know, that this is the only way in order for us to be that generation of thriving, right? Of being able to help and change the cycle around this, change the conversation, show our future children that it is okay to prioritize ourself, right? We show them through our examples that when we take time for ourselves, we are able to do more, to accomplish more, to feel better about, our life. And that is not selfish. So please tune out that noise, tune out a lot of that conditioning that many of us have experienced around this, because we know that it isn't true, that ultimately you are the one who takes the best care of yourself and you're able to take care of others. When in doubt friends, this is, you know, the truth around this, this might be oversimplifying, but we've been talking about some simplicity lately. When in doubt, ask yourself again, back to those basics. Have you drank enough? Have you been outside? Have you moved your body? I think Dax Shepard actually uses this in his alcohol recovery, like with his, um, mentees and people that he works with. He, if they're having a tough day, he says, have you drank enough water? Have you been outside today? Thinking about these things that are so simple that make the biggest difference and they can really get us back into that parasympathetic nervous system like we were talking about. So a little bit of homework, if you want, you can go from here, right? You've got those journal prompts, do some exploration in the layers that we talked about earlier, that layer one, is it those basic needs that you need to set a goal? And is it something that you're now starting to develop some new habits in that layer to those simple practices that you can do day to day? This show has over 220 some episodes of ideas of things that you might want to try. So go ahead, listen to some things in the past that we've done. Otherwise, if you just want to shoot me a DM, say, I don't know where to start, please. I would love to have that conversation and love to, you know, pull some ideas from you because you're going to be able to do that. You, you, you have the motivation, you know, at the end of the day, what's important to you and why and how to make these things happen. So a shorty little episode today on all things self care, a little bit of self care 101. I hope it's helpful. I'm really grateful you're all here. Thank you so much. Happy Thanksgiving. I'll see you next week.