S4 E8: How To Figure Out What You REALLY Want

You know how you want certain things out of life? I mean, you want purpose, a job you love, a certain lifestyle, right? You kind of have an idea of it in your head, but maybe it's not written now. Well, what if I told you you probably don't know what you really want? And I can prove it to you. Oh, and before this podcast is over, I will help you discover what you really want. Sound good? Then you're in the right place? This is the podcast where you find your purpose and live your passion. Let's go. You know how you sometimes feel stuck, like you're drifting through life, going through the motions, then you're in the right place. Let's go. Greg, I'm not sure you know what you're talking about. I mean, I know what I want. What does know what they want? My problem is how do I get what I want? All right, hang on. I know you think you know what you want, but just stick with me through a couple questions and then tell me if I was wrong. I got this from a book by Dr. Alexander Lloyd, and I've also seen in red similar versions in a few other places and kind of worked out a few of these things myself too, but it all starts with a question. Now when you hear this question, just give the first answer that pops into your head. Not what your parents want or your friends or society thinks. Not the answer that makes you feel like a good person. No, no, no, no, the real answer that flashes into your brain. Ready? Okay. Here you go. What do you want more than anything else right now? It's a gut level reaction. Say it out loud and write it down. If it's a ton of money, physical or mental healing, purpose in your life, a job you love, a spouse to love and cherish, whatever it is, it's okay to say it out loud and write it down. Hey, if you don't know what you want or can't admit what you really want, then how you are ever going to get it? Now if you're having trouble, you can try the genie technique. You know how you rub the lamp and get three wishes, that kind of genie. Well, this time though, the genie gives you only one wish. You cannot wish for more wishes and you can't wish for anything that overrides someone else's free will. One wish. Anything. Instantly, money. Big goal accomplished. Boom. You're can't secure to boom. No one will know you got this from a wish. It all just came naturally, but there are a couple of final rules. You will never get another wish in your life. And if you don't say the wish out loud in 10 seconds, you will lose your wish. So right now, what do you want more than anything else right now? One wish. Go. I'll home for 10 seconds. No, just pause and then come back. All right. Time's up. Now the answer you just wrote down is most probably the number one goal you have in your life right now. It's probably driving most of your thoughts, beliefs and actions. You may not have even been conscious of the fact that it is your number one goal in life, but it is. But Greg, my actions are getting me closer to what I just said is my answer. Why can that goal be driving my thoughts, beliefs and actions? Aha. I didn't say it was driving your thoughts, beliefs and actions to help you achieve your goal. No, I just said it's driving them. See, sometimes it'll drive them closer to your goal, but sometimes not because so much of that depends on why you have the goal. If it lines up with your values, if you think you can achieve it, your beliefs that were formed from your birth until now, it's so much more. See, even if your conscious mind is aware of your goal, if your subconscious mind is against that goal, your subconscious mind will always win that battle every single time. If this resonates with you, I want you to have a free gift from me. It's my ebook, five steps to finding your passion and purpose. Get it at my website, GregoryBnap.com, the information's in the show now. We can get in all that later, but first I got to tell you that answer you just gave to the genie. I don't actually think that answer really is your number one goal. Why do you just said it was? No, see, I don't think it's what you really want because unless you're very unusual, your answer had something to do with an external circumstance in your life, right? See, 99% of people answered the genie question with some external change in their life, money, health, fame, marriage, on and on. How about you? And when your goal is something external like that, there are only three possible outcomes. One, you put in the work and eventually you achieve your goal. Way to go. People are thrilled for a little while. Then the excitement fades and you come up with a new goal and pursue that one. Now, there's nothing wrong with this cycle and pursuing goals like this. But if you think achieving these goals are going to finally and fully satisfy you, you're going to be very sad when you figure the whole thing out. Second option, you can put in the time of work and achieve your goals and then realize this wasn't what I really wanted anyway. Yes, you were aiming at the wrong goal. You never achieve your goal and you go into it oppression and maybe even hopelessness and give up on setting goals and trying to achieve them and you feel miserable. Great. Okay, Greg, you said I gave the wrong answer because I answered with an external change I want. So what's the right answer? Okay, here we go. Back to the first question. One, what do you want more than anything else right now? Question two, if you got what you said you most wanted, what would that do for you? What would that change in your life? Pause the podcast and take some time to think about that one and write down your answer. Okay, you got it. Then question three. Now if you got the things that were your answers in question one, the external thing and two, if you got what you wanted, what would it change in your life, then you have question three. You got the first two things. How would you feel? What? Yeah, how would you feel if you got one and two? Pause the podcast again, take time to think about it and write down your answer. Okay, you wrote down your answer, right? Well, the answer you just wrote down for question three is actually the right answer for question one. See what you really want is an internal state, non-external circumstance, because if you really think about it, all your external goals are so you can get the internal state you crave. What is it right now for you? Joy, love, peace, security, safety? See, isn't it possible you think you have to achieve the external goal in order to get the internal state? Is it possible though? You can actually achieve that interstate without or before achieving that external goal. Great, wait a second. Are you saying I should never have goals for external things like jobs and money, my house, car, vacations? No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying the real goal you have though is for that internal state and that achieving that internal state is going to help you achieve your external goals and might even change your external goals. And by the way, achieving that internal state is going to have you enjoy your life so much more in the process of what you're doing. The key is now you know what you really want and it's not something that will come from external goals. We just think it will. Yeah, I'm sure you've played the win then game, right? When I get this, then I'll be happy, right? When I get that new job or that promotion or the extra salary or the relationship or health or whatever it is, then I'll be happy or at peace or feel safe or you feel in the like. But then you achieve that thing and it does help your internal state for about a minute. But then you're still you your eternal state isn't staying where you thought it would. We tend to believe the only way we can achieve the interstate we want is if we achieve our external goals. But that is a lie from the pit of hell. Your external goal isn't capable of producing the internal goal you want. The internal is always what drives the external. The internal states of love, peace, joy, they are necessary to achieve true success. From the internal states of love, peace and joy, all the rest will flow. Your success will flow. The external things you desire. So here are the two takeaways from today. You've now discovered what you really want and two, you now know your external goal is not capable of producing the internal goal you want. Remember that. Memorize it. Meditate on it. Okay, Greg. You're right. I didn't know what I really wanted. You helped me figure it out. But now what? How do I get that internal state I want? And then how do I get the external things I want? Those are great questions. And we're going to hit those in another podcast. Let's go. If this resonates with you, I want you to have a free gift for me. It's my ebook, five steps to finding your passion on purpose. Get it at my website, GregoryBNAF.com, the information's in the show, then.