S1E1: A Grand Bombshell

The Augustan Institute proudly presents Welcome to Ho Spring! A place of everyday wonders and eternal mysteries. Hi, I'm Natalie. Think of me as your tour guide to what may be one of Colorado's best kept secrets. Hope Springs! It's a charming place with friendly people, quaint shops and restaurants and actual hot springs. As your tour guide, I'm going to be pointing out the important things you need to know. So today I'll draw your attention to the old train depot because it's been completely renovated and now includes wonderful shops and restaurants, even a museum. The whole town is coming out for the grand opening celebration. So pull your hat on tight and buckle up. It's time for Welcome to Hope Springs! Hi, Jay. Whatcha know? Hey, Rooney. You're early. It's 9 o'clock. 9? But you said you'd be here at 9. The grand opening of the old depot starts at 10. I want to get there before it gets crowded. I guess you're going in your pajamas. No, wait. Give me a minute. I can't. I don't want to miss the free ice cream from Lilies. All that hand-chirmed deliciousness will go fast. I won't take long. That's what you always say and you always do. You're late for everything. I'm an artist. Artists are allowed to be late. You're not an artist. You want to be a reporter. Tell that to Dickens Hemingway and Steinbeck. Why? Are they going to be there? Ha. See you later. I'll be cutting through the cemetery if you want to catch up. How do you always use the cemetery? It's creepy. It's only creepy if you're under the ground. In 68 degrees on a very pleasant Saturday morning in Hope Springs, I'm April Martin. And I'm Art Jameson sharing the day with you and what a day it is. Isn't that right, April? It sure is, Art. We have a booth all set up at the main entrance to what was once the Hope Springs train station. That's right, April. This is the very spot where our nation's founding fathers established train service in 1787. 1878, Art. And the founding fathers never came to Colorado. I have to disagree, April. Lewis and Clark, Thomas and Jefferson, Theodore and Roosevelt. They were all key players in the founding of this great state and are great town. And as we all know, Ben Frank. Franklin invented electric trains using nothing more than 210 cans and a string. Well, let's put the pass behind us and talk about what's going on now. Today and fast. That's right, April, because today is now and won't be the past until tomorrow. What I think you're trying to say, Art, is that it's a new day for the Hope Springs train depot, which is finally ending its years of abandonment. Oh, you said it, April, the dereliction, the destitution and the demolition are over. Instead, we've seen a complete renovation of this station. So come on down for the grand opening. That's right, April. Join us for the big celebration. Got it, Art. There are activities for the entire family today. An old fashioned merry go round and play areas, a petting zoo, crafts and contests. And that's just the outside inside you'll find restaurants, shops, displays, a museum and activity centers. It is a huge exhibit shine for a something shun. I'm sorry, I ran out of shun words. And not a moment too soon, Art. We'll take a short break and then return with a man who made this day happen. Mr. Clark Perry, don't go away. Okay, so I'm a little surprised you didn't jump in with a shun word, April. Irritation came to mind, Art. Oh, that's perfect. You should have said that. You want to do the whole thing again. Hi, everyone. It's Rooney here on Rooney's Ramblings. Trying for the grand opening of the old train depot, trying to catch up to my friend Jay, who always cuts through a cemetery to get into town. Jay! Jay, slow down. Hey, you made it. You could have waited, you know. You could have been ready when I got to your house. What are you doing? Recording? Yeah, for my podcast. Rooney's Ramblings, and I want to begin with a question. Let's keep moving. Why do you always cut through the cemetery? I'm not cutting through the cemetery. I'm walking along the side of it. See, I'm here on the paths and the graves are over there. It seems disrespectful. Why? It's not like I'm tap dancing on the graves or anything. Shh. Wait, what's that kid doing? What kid? They're by the Angel Statue. There are a lot of Angel Statues. The one with the wings? All of the Angels have wings. Rooney, you gotta work on your descriptions. Will you just look? All right. Yeah, I see him. He's kneeling. It looks like he's praying. Big deal. Let's go. Why is a kid our age praying in a graveyard? Why wouldn't a kid our age pray in a graveyard? I don't know. It's weird. Oh, he's standing up. Get down. What? Where? Behind that tombstone. Get down. What's wrong with you? I don't want him to see us. Why not? You think we're spying on him? And hiding behind a tombstone doesn't look like we're spying on him? Shh. Let me see what he's doing. Ugh. Wait. Where did he go? I can't see anything from down here. Hi, guys. [MUSIC PLAYING] April Martin and Art Jamison back with you at the grand opening of the old train depot. That's right. We have a special guest with us. Don't we, April? We sure do. A local businessman and town leader who many of our listeners know as a real visionary. And we're not talking about an eye doctor either. Good morning, Clark Perry. Good to be with you, Art. April. So tell us what's behind all your work around Hope Springs. You built the popular Pine Creek Pass Resort just outside of town. And now you've created this new attraction. I believe Hope Springs is a great town. I want to see it prosper. Renovating this old train depot is one way to do that. And what train of thought put you on this track? Well, I grew up in Hope Springs and always wondered why such a beautiful old building was left empty for so long. So you were steamed that the building was empty and you went loco about fixing it up. Pums. I get it. Middle school humor. Yeah, I kind of like middle school humor. Doesn't it knock you off the rails? So, Clark, we'd like to take a walk from our booth and see what you've done with the building. I'm happy to. For example, tell us about this archway over the main entrance. We restored it to match the original stonework. And we've redone the Latin inscription that had worn away. Glorium at die servitude. Huh. So what does that say in English? Odd Glorium, dee at servitudem, papuli means to the glory of God and the service of the people. That's appropriate. OK, but tell me, Clark, was it hard to find rocks shaped like an arch? Actually-- Let's take a break, Art. Join us in a minute and we'll see what's inside the restored Hope Springs train depot. [MUSIC PLAYING] Impressive scream. Just the right touch of terror and comedy. Why did you sneak up on us like that? I didn't sneak up. You would've seen me coming if you didn't suddenly run and hide behind this tombstone. We didn't suddenly run and hide. We were-- sorry, not to look like we were spying on you. JAY! Were you spying on me? Not on purpose. I saw you kneeling over there and was wondering why. I mean, why you were kneeling in a graveyard. Why were you walking in a graveyard? We weren't walking in the graveyard. We were on the path. Why do I have to keep explaining that? We're on our way to the old train depot. They're giving out free ice cream. I was heading that way, too. Wait, are you recording me? Yeah. I mean, no. I bumped the stop button when we screamed. Why were you recording? I do a podcast called "Runey's Ramblings." It's about me rambling about things. Can we talk about this while we walk? The ice cream will be gone. Sure. I'm J, by the way. I'm Rune. The rambler. Got it. I'm Brace. Brace? That's an unusual name. Where'd it come from? I think my dad was having back problems when I was born. So what are you doing here? He looked like he were praying. Maybe he was praying that they won't run out of ice cream before we get there. It's no near business, Rune. Is that true, Brace? Yeah. It's true. It's no near business. I meant about praying. Still no near business. All right. Fine. I can take it. Since when? What's up Colorado people? It is me, Art Jamison, and April. And we are at the grand opening of the restored Hope Springs train station. And with us is the grand restoreer, Clark Perry. Will you explain to the audience what we're seeing, Clark? Sure. This is the entryway with the main foyer and waiting lounge and straight ahead there, the ticket counter, with the original marble top and iron grills. And all the various offices we've turned into cafes and shops. Wow. It's huge. There's the Nini's Pizza Place, Bob's Big Burgers, Lily's Ice Cream Parlor. Oh, the best ice cream in town. Oh, they're serving a free cone. Do everyone who comes in? Wow, supplies last, which won't be long because you know what I've always liked to say. You scream, ice cream. We all scream for ice cream. You know I made that up myself. No, you didn't. Art. Yeah, I did. No. You can see we've restored the high back benches used here for waiting passengers. And you also put in a museum? Yeah. In what used to be the freight office in storage area. The museum has displays about our local history with scale models of the town over the years and interactive trains and all kinds of artifacts. Something for everyone. OK, I'm going to go to Lily's now. And I might just tell her about my catchphrase, use-cream, ice-cream, we all scream for ice cream. Art, seriously? That expression has been around for years. Yeah, actually. It was a popular song. No way. Somebody put my words into music? Yeah, in 1927. Oh, no! Let's go to a break. What are you doing in here? These railroad cars are fantastic. And they left this one open. It's called the Super Chef. Chief. The Super Chief. What were you daydreaming about? How do you know I was daydreaming? Oh. Maybe it was the glassy-eyed stare and the sliver of drool sliding from the corner of your mouth. I was thinking about how much fun I'm going to have with my fireworks today. What fireworks? They're illegal. Now, Troy, they weren't illegal where I bought them. Well, Zach, it doesn't matter where you bought them. They are illegal if you set them off within Hope Spring City limits. And I'm going to guess that Mr. Perry won't be too happy to find them hidden inside one of his train cars. Who's set there hidden in here? I can see them under that dining table. Why are you always trying to get yourself in trouble? I'm not trying. It just happens because of what I do. Just like the last time you set off fireworks? The Anderson Farm. How was LicyBose to know that chickens get stressed by loud noises? They lost all their feathers. Yeah, well, the Anderson's ought to post warning signs or something. Yeah, right. I'll put the fireworks behind the seat. No way. There's a closet at the back of the car. Give me a hand. Not a chance. I don't want my fingerprints on your evidence. Some friend. You use the word friend. And I hear the word accomplice. I've got better things to do. Coward. [GROANS] Zick. Hey, maybe I can get Mr. Perry to let me use this car as our headquarters, especially since he's store old headquarters. The depot wasn't our headquarters. In fact, it was a dump. Yeah, but it was our dump. We hung out there for ages before he got them right. I did and fix it up. He owes us. I'll talk to him. Before or after you set off the fireworks? The fireworks are my sweet revenge. You are going to be so sorry to miss the fun. I won't miss it. I'll be right there, watching the police take you away. Oh, come on. I can use your help. No thanks. I'd like to reach the age of 13 without being fingerprinted. I love that part. I wonder if they'll use handcuffs this time. You're the only kid I know, who ever asked a question like that. It's April. And ours. We'll see you again at the grand opening of the Grand Defoe. And we've caught up with Chuck Crosby, the manager of this new establishment. Thanks for interrupting your busy day to talk to us, Chuck. My pleasure. I listen to your radio show every morning. Oh, nice. Me too. What exactly is your role here, Mr. Crosby? I oversee the folks who handle all the different areas of the depot. Kind of like a train conductor. You keep everything on track. I wouldn't want things to derail. So you keep it all chugging along. We wouldn't want people to blow their stacks. Oh, man, I love this man. You're also a deacon in the Catholic Church, is that right? Yes, it is. And this entire facility is a nonprofit organization owned by St. Clair's Catholic Church. That's true. Whoa. So you're saying this whole place is Catholic? It's owned by a Catholic organization, but it's not overtly Catholic. It's a wholesome place for all families and kids, regardless of anyone's religion. So you don't need to talk to a priest to get in? No, you don't. It's just a place where folks can enjoy themselves and learn a few things along the way. I understand you also have a charitable food bank here. It's one of the best things we offer. I can show you. It's in the roundhouse. Oh, nice. A roundhouse. What is that? Like a steak restaurant? It's a big, half-circle line of garages where the trains were service. Now, people in need can come in, get food, helpful advice, referrals, whatever we can do to help. I guess you could say that the roundhouse is serving people now. OK, OK. So the roundhouse is like a gas station where they used to put the steam into the steam engines. Put the steam in? Yeah, the steam that makes the old train engines run. Uh, well. What are you talking about, Art? Look, I just want to know how they get the steam into the gas tank so the trains can run. Thank you so much for your time, Mr. Crosby. Deacon Chuck, and it was my pleasure. Now let's go back to the studio where Marty Moore has the latest headlines and the weather. Why are you looking at me like that? April, was it a stupid question? Oh, Art. Wow! This place is amazing, just like one of those train stations in the old movies. I hear that they have a lot of trains in the back. I'd like to see those. After we get our ice cream. I have a question, Grace. Don't ask about the cemetery, Rooney. No. I want to know why I haven't seen you before. Where do you go to school? I've been home schooled until now. But I'll be starting Hope Springs Middle School this coming year. That's where we go. Maybe we'll be in the same class. Hey, look. It's April and Art. Who? April Martin at Art Jamison. The Morning Radio team on Steam 102 FM. They're doing a remote broadcast. April is one of the reasons I want to become a reporter. I said you were doing podcasts. Podcasts are a kind of reporting. And I read for the school newspaper. Impressive. I want to go talk to her. I'll catch up with you guys later. Steve, she can get his free ice cream. OK, Art. We should split up to get a few separate interviews. Why don't you see if you can find someone to answer your question about steam engines? Maybe the people in the museum could tell you. Oh, you are a cold-hearted woman. Oh, let's see what else we've got. The Small Wonders puppet theater and the telegraph office. Oh, and I want to talk to that protester out front. Whoa, what protester? You didn't see him? Well, he's been marching on the sidewalk straight down from our booth. Why would anybody be protesting this place? Well, that's what I want to find out. Excuse me. Hi, bro. I mean, Mrs. Martin. Hi. I'm Rooney. You talked to my third grade class when I was in a third grade. You inspired me to become a news broadcaster. Like you. I'll sweet. I even do my own podcast. It's called Rooney's Ramblings. See? I even have a special microphone for my smartphone so I can record anywhere, anytime. Wow, you're really serious about this. Hey, there, kiddo. Art Jamison. Would you like an autograph picture? It's only $3. No, thank you. So, April, do you think I could ever tag along to watch you do your work? Well, there's not a lot to watch. OK, I'm happy to just sign an autograph for $2. No, thanks. Could we meet sometimes so I can ask you a few questions? I would love to have you on my podcast. You're my hero, you know? That's a kind thing to say. I'd be happy to be on your podcast. Not today, though. We're a little busy. I can see that. All right, all right. I'll give you a fist bump for a dollar. I'm good. Is there anything I can do to help you today? Well, come to think of it, we could use some audio B-roll. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't be so technical for the poor girl. I mean, she might think you're talking about, like, doily paper. B-roll is secondary and background sounds you can use in post-production. Like, if you're using a clip of an interview with Clark Perry about the vintage carousel over there, you can put the B-roll sounds of the carousel in the background. She knows her stuff, Art. I mean, that's a really good idea. And I'll bet you know how they put steam in the steam engine, huh? Sure. The steam is jad. Whoa, whoa, whoa. OK, kid. OK, nobody likes to know it all. See what kind of B-roll you can get and check back with us later. Oh, and do some interviews, too. If you come across anyone you think is interesting. I will. Thanks. See you later. Sweet girl. Why aren't I a hero to any kids? Because they've met you, Art. [MUSIC PLAYING] Well, really, ice cream is the best I've ever had, especially the double cream, creamy cream cone. They must raise special cows to make ice cream this good. Well, look who it is. Jay and some other kid I don't really care about. Hey, Zach, what are you doing here? What do you mean what am I doing here? Does somebody say I was doing something here? You've been talking all summer that you were going to boycott this place when it opened. I am boycottient. Do I look like I'm enjoying myself? No. In fact, my dad is out front protesting. That's a double whammy. Why the boycott? The old depot used to be the headquarters for his gang. Well, it wasn't really a gang, more like a couple. Two, doesn't make us a couple. Except our two fists to your one face. I mean, three fists to your-- We got the idea. Four fists. Two people would have four fists. Yeah, well, I might have one tie behind my back just to make it fair. So watch yourself. Or bang, zoom, because they-- You really need to work on your tough guy banter. Yes. And who are you all for, son? Wilson Shakespeare? I'm Brace. You and I met before. Like where? The park behind City Hall. You said a trash can on fire, and I put it out. Seriously, Zach? You said a trash can on fire? It was an accident. How do you accidentally set a trash can on fire? By accidentally lighting a match, and accidentally dropping it into a trash can full of paper. Accidentally. How was I supposed to know someone point lighter fluid in it? That someone was your friend. I saw him do it. Maybe you did, and maybe you shouldn't be seeing things. You better not talk about after you don't see them. Snappy come back. So what are you doing here, Zach? What are you up to? Maybe I'm up to something that's up. Keep an eye on the sky if you know what I'm saying. I don't. You will when the sky catches you looking up. See you around. Losers? Is he really a friend of yours? I've known him since kindergarten. I guess that makes us friends in a unfriendly kind of way. Come on. Let's look around. I saw a sign for a telegraph office around the corner. Let's go see what that is. April Martin with you again live from the grand opening of the Grand Depot. And to my surprise, there is a protest going on out front. At Excuse me, sir. It's about time. You think standing here with a protest sign would have gotten your attention a lot sooner. One man with a cardboard sign isn't a huge draw. Yeah, well, my son was supposed to help, but you know how it is. If you want something done yourself, you have to do it alone. How about telling our listening audience who you are? The name is Sykes. Ray Sykes with a Y and an E and a K and two S's, but not in that order, because that would be-- Yes. Got it. You know who I am. I protested in front of your radio station last week. You did. Why? I am against the crass commercialization of our nation's treasured freedom of speech. But our radio station is all about freedom of speech. Not when you guys keep saying stuff I don't like. I'm interested in my freedom of speech. Why should I care about anyone else's? Uh-huh. So what exactly are you protesting today? I want to stop the crass commercialization of historical landmarks. You mean the grand depot? But it was a rundown building. Some would say it was an eye-sort. That's what historical landmarks are supposed to be. You go around fixing them up, and how are we supposed to know their historical? I can't argue with that. I'm also against the crass commercialization of money. And as everyone knows, you know who is making big bucks off this whole thing. I don't know who you're talking about. Arcley Ary Pay. Clark Perry? Everybody knows he's in co-hosts with the Catholic Church. And that's a blatant trampling of the separation of religion and the rights of people who don't like religion. It's a blatant encrhingment against the constitutional bill of my rights. What about the First Amendment? What about it? Well, look at the time. Thank you for talking to us, Mr. Sykes. But I'm not finished. Yes, you are. Let's see what Art Jamison is up to. Art, are you there? Please be there. Oh, Art Jamison. I've been meaning to protest him, too, where's he? In the museum, trying to find out how to put steam in a train engine gas tank. Oh, really? I've been wondering about that myself. Art Jamison with you again at the grand opening of the Grand Depot downtown. I'm now standing in the museum area with Dr. Marcus Shed. Sheed, a professor of history and archaeology and the consulting percolator of this museum. Curator, hi, Art. OK, so professor, I'm looking at all these displays and wondering to myself, what's all this clutter and why should anyone care about it? This clutter happens to be a collection of local historical artifacts. OK, let's see. Those look like plates, cops are over there, and crosses. They're items from local tribes and Spanish missionaries that came through a few hundred years ago. All right, and what's that moldy stack of paper? It's what's left of a Latin prayer book. We believe it's from a 17th century Franciscan mission. The 1700s makes it really old. The 17th century was the 1600s. Well, that makes no sense at all, professor. Most historians believed that missionaries didn't arrive until the late 1700s. But these artifacts proved otherwise. And it says on your little sign here that they were unearthed by workers when Clark Perry built the Pine Creek Pass resort? Yes, this discovery changed everything we thought we knew about the area. It's to put it in perspective. It's possible the missionaries were in this area, even while the first pilgrims were settling in New England. So that means there's a chance of the founding fathers were right here in Hope Springs in the 1700s? No. Why would you think that? Oh, April Martin mentioned it, but obviously she doesn't know her history. What's that shackle-looking thing? It's a stable. I'm sure you can guess who the carved figures are inside. Darth Vader, Princess Leia, baby Ura. Mary Joseph and the baby Jesus. Oh, right, right, right. So those other guys aren't stormtroopers. They're the shepherds and wise men. Oh. What was that? It's a smoke bomb. [CHEERING] Ow. Everybody out. Now. Come on. [MUSIC PLAYING] You've been listening to Welcome to Hope Springs, a production of the Augustine Institute, made possible through the generosity of friends like you. Find out more about the entire collection of stories and characters in Hope Springs at Hope Springs.org.