S13 EP21: Sneaky Sasquatch

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This episode is presented by Tui, that you've got a love of family holiday Josh. Oh, you've got a love it, who wouldn't love it Rob? You know what the problem with the holidays is, right? You don't get enough of them. That's the problem. Exactly, so you need to make the most of your holiday, which is why Tui gives you more. So that's got to be easy booking for incredible destinations with amazing hotels that offer all the things you love, perfect beaches, mouthwatering food, on-site splash parks, wellness centres, swim up suites and fun stuff for the kids. And now you can get even more by joining the brand new Tui Smiles Rewards Club for free. We're talking members only deals, personalized rewards from Tui and some of their brilliant partners and plenty of chances to win amazing prizes. Love it. Get more from your holiday book now and discover the Tui Smiles Rewards Club at tui.co.uk. Atta and Abta protected. Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with? Edward, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh would come? Josh would come. Josh would. Josh would come. Way to go, good boy. Well done, buddy. There you go. Well done, buddy. Right, hi, Rob Josh and Michael. Here's my cheeky and very accident-prone boy, Edward, saying her names. He was exactly three years old when we recorded this in True Parenting Hell tradition, recorded this mid-bath, much the amusement of his seven-year-old sister Alice. I've been listening since day one and could honestly say your podcast got me through some really tricky times. We had trying to have a second child before Edward arrived, so it feels amazing to finally send this in. I know Rob, you have done a couple of Australian tours and I know Josh, you're tempted, but if you ever in the area, I would recommend a visit to the lovely Melbourne Darbyshire, which is the Australian one, is named after. I can't promise sunshine, but can promise lots of pubs, friendly people in Petro's village, keeping sex in label, Emma 486 months from Melbourne Darbyshire, unfortunately not the Australian one. All right, I got confused. OK, so there's a Melbourne in Darbyshire. Looks pretty. Yeah. I want to go back to Australia. I'm being a little bit thinking about going back for a holiday-sash work. Are you going to work again? Well, the plan would be to go. There's a long time, I think, and I think listeners will agree with this. OK. That if I had spoken as publicly as you did within the last year, by publicly, I mean, on this podcast, about how you can have a real break from touring and stand up. Yeah. And within a year, you are clearly drifting back towards it at top pace. I think it's fair to say you would have hauled me over the coals. Do you agree on that, Michael? Yeah, 100%. I agree. There's a sort of inevitability to it all. That's why people listen, because we say something, and they're all exactly going. You would have, you would have, let's be honest, if this was me, Rob, you'd be going, you can't be doing this, Josh. You can't be doing this. I mean, look, I agree. I agree with me all that long ago that you were living on an industrialist day outside Coventry. Lester. Let's get the facts right, OK? OK, Lester. And Coventry is where I did both of them to be fair. Yeah, look, look, to be honest, I'm definitely, I can't not do something. I just realised it. I've got to accept that I've got this little ball of energy in me that just goes. And I have to channel it somewhere, because if I don't, I'll end up in a pub or a bookies. I can just sense it. Right, OK. It's about, you can't chop the legs off a race horse, but you can put it on a safe track. Right. OK, so how's the, yeah, yeah, so you're just going to keep it low key, but could talk to Australia. No, no, no, no, no, no, that's so. We want to go to Australia anyway, but we thought in a way to make it more efficient, money-wise. If I do it towards the end of my flight, I'd say, you know, you've done it really bad, right? I've done hundreds of dates, yeah, and, you know, really, when you go on holiday, you want to make it efficient. So you want to build it around a tour. For all the out there that I could just do a couple of weeks of digging one on there and then come back. But you could just do those gigs at home and then for more money, probably. For more money, probably. Right. OK. I've not been there on the family holiday to Australia. That one's worth it. It was basically a coffeeed up ADHD chatting the car and the way to some friends at the weekend, right? I've not been booked. It's not going in. But I do agree. I am not implementing it. I agree with the first of those. It's not been booked. Well, shall I tell you what I did last week in my autumn of doing nothing? Yep. So we did podcast last Monday. We did four hours podcast in the morning. In the afternoon, I filmed my Gough YouTube channel. Yep. And the next day, we filmed all day in London for the podcast. Then we flew to Stockholm. On Wednesday, we was at a conference for work all day. We will, we will cover this because it's going to be in front of. Yeah. First day, I had to do a couple of zooms, not much though, a bit of a half day. Friday I went to Bristol to do a corporate in a aircraft hangar that had a con called in it. Oh, OK. Yep. But I had sat a day and Sunday off. So in the, I am working less in the evenings and at home at the weekends. That's key. OK. Not working at all isn't the problem. He's still quite a lot of work, but I, it's the evenings and weekends. It's the killer. It's not working. It's the being away for weekends and evening. OK. So I would say, Tor is crucially bad things are weekends. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what the chat was about. How do I talk? There's been talks of the mat and a man, which, you know, it's going to be problematic. If you only ever do two o'clock on Friday's. Yeah. I don't think. Here's my plan to just替 Thursdays and Friday's. OK. But do you know what, Rob? I'm going to play this out. This is a phone. Go on. This is not necessarily your agent, but like someone at the agency who's booking the tour. The thing is, Rob, right? Yeah. You're going up to Manchester Thursday Friday. You're doing these gigs. Are you really going to want to travel up to Liverpool? The following Thursday Friday or, while you're up there, we could just get the Liverpool ones done Saturday and Sunday. And then they're done. And then you don't have to travel. No. It's just more efficient. No. No. Because if I just do-- And then-- Or I'll do Tracy Wednesday. No. The advantage of the weekend, Rob, is that you can do the mat and a-- Oh my goodness. So in denial. Oh, no. I mean, so in denial about what I am and what I am is a fucking touring clown. That's the video on a Saturday because that's when normal people want to go out. Yeah. And I'm not going to do it. Firstly, Friday's. That's it. I don't have to do mat and a man. OK. So you're not going to do Saturdays and Sundays on this next tour. That's the plan. Because if I can-- That's the plan, so I'm sorry I'm going to do it. Yeah, that's my line in the sand, actually. Why the kids are young? I don't do Saturdays. OK, fine. Yeah, sorry. Sorry if I've got boundaries, actually. Yeah. Maybe not Sunday, maybe Saturdays, maybe Saturdays, not Saturdays. No, I do find Saturdays are hard going. It's better to do-- no, Sundays, like-- It's the worst. The worst is a Sunday night. Because if you get home Monday, you're into another week already. You do need that little reset on a Sunday, as much as you can do Saturdays. No, I can't do Saturdays. Why are we talking about this? I'm not doing any of that. OK, fine. Have you got any gigs in? Oh, someone's calling. I got-- oh, on second. Oh. Is it a tall promoter? No, but I'm getting a-- right, I'm sorry. This is quite parenting-helly. First of all, do you like my new backdrop? Yeah, you can barely see it. Yeah, second of all. Do you want to chat about that while I quickly go and take the delivery of a car? What? Thanks, right? I'll be back in about two minutes. I think someone's at the front. I can just double check, sorry. Someone's delivering a car today. We've got a new car. So sorry, do you know-- are we going to need quite a big break here? Because you're taking delivery of a car. That takes a lot of-- Yeah, but you'll just park it up. I'm just going to quickly-- That's awesome. Oh, Alan, mate, you're right. Do you call? Right, Michael. Do you want to fill time? Or do we want to stop? No, because I believe-- let's have a little bit. OK. I think seven minutes minimum. OK, I'm saying it stopped. watch now. I'm going to say not nine minutes ten seconds. Okay. I should have a break. I'll have a biscuit. I couldn't change it from nine to 12. So I thought Lou might be here. It might be fine. It might even have popped in between records. You know. Right. I've, he might have left. And hilariously, this keeps walking this. Someone at my door now. Here we go. So he's not just me. Sorry. Can we carry on without him, Michael? He's gone. Also, I went. Right. So I got. I went out. We might. So he's pretty cool doing me. So I went out. I'm wearing this white t-shirt. Yeah. And I've got a pair of shorts on. Because when I normally sit here, I get quite sweaty. I just put shorts on me. No pants. Yeah. Fine. Forever. In the daylight. Oh no. You can see through the pen. The silhouette of the dick. So I just degraded a man with a car with the silhouette of my dick. Yeah. And he said, I'll pop it in the letter box. I'll pop it in the letter box. Well, the keys to the car. I mean, I'm sorry, man. I mean, I'm a little bit of a box cast of a deep flapping about my slippers on. Anyway, that's okay. I'll just say you weren't here and put it in the letter box. It's like, what an absolute fucking legend. Right. Right. Yeah. I hope he doesn't. I hope he hasn't got a story that I was like dismissive. I just, I said I'm really sorry. But like, I didn't like, normally I offer cup of tea and say, do you need the toilet and stuff like that? Yeah. Yeah. No. I think, I don't, I don't think that's the story. It's a dick. He didn't offer me a cup of tea. It's a dick. Well, I think it's actually worse off someone a drink and a, do you want to come in for the toilet with a dick flapping about? Yeah. But I didn't really, I got to be coming when you're dick out and say, do you want to come into a toilet? It's not escalating. My dick wasn't out. My dick was away. But when the, when the sun peaked through the cloud, why is Michael gone? I don't know. Well, he might be back. I'm going to come back. What happened? There was my coffee and my breakfast at the door. And how about a breakfast? You're out. Well, I had to run downstairs and get some sugar for my coffee. So it's not my house. I'm at the office. I literally got some sugar for his coffee, the delivery driver. I know. Rob. Yeah. So, when's his tour announced? No. No. I've got loads of people. Should people, you can't say now, but do sign up to Rob's mailing list if you want exciting news for four of us. No, not yet. No, I think, no, I don't think I'll be touring in 2028. Okay. So I might be writing some stuff next year, but not at the hotel. Yeah, yeah. And do you know what? I might as well do some in autumn, 2020. No, no, no. I'm playing this little game like you just recognize and settle the note before Christmas. A little fiddle that you like to play now, Nagid about my shows, actually. I've, I've got my art. My art. When the inspiration comes up calling, Bobby B will come a talking. Yeah. Yeah. At the moment, the inspiration hasn't struck. Yeah. I'm thinking about, you know, maybe do the show about big political issues on something. You know, I'm saying. Yeah, I think that's good. I get it. Actually, yeah. So. Rob, yes. Should we talk about our trip to Stockholm together? Yeah. So we went to Stockholm. Didn't we further Spotify thing? Yeah. So it's a Spotify conference. We were asked to do a 10-minute talk. Yeah, interview. Very, it's quite. I've been to sort of, I do a lot of we do a lot of corporate events. I've done a few fireside chats before about social mobility, actually. Well, and I would discuss my Sunday Times bestselling book, A Class Act, where I discussed being trapped in a, you know, working class man in the middle class world. And so it was really reminiscent of that for me. I don't know how you found it. Well, let's go from the moment, go chronologically, because it was quite the, quite exciting thrilling day. Well, we were in London. What were you doing, Parenting Hill? Yeah. And then we got a cut. We weren't a Heathrow. Yes. You're annoyed that I'd got check in luggage? No, I wasn't annoyed. I was slightly surprised and a little bit put out because I'm like, oh, we're gonna have to wait for Josh now to get his check in luggage. But then you explain that you were going straight to Strickley after you use a wait for like four nights. So five nights. I was like, okay, let's not get annoyed at him. But you said, yeah, I was slightly put out that we had to wait for this do you have to pack his bag in the hold for one night. So let's talk about the fact that Louis through was also there. Oh, I forgot about this. So, yeah, you took, you, you told me to download. I have to, I've to approve any games. Yeah, that she wants on our iPad. It comes to my phone, which is quite frustrating, because I'm away. Yeah, and she rang you in a record, which they can hear. I think that was that football one or a parenting one. Yeah, and it was a game called sneaky Sascoch. Yeah, she wanted you to approve the purchase of sneakers. Sascoch. Yeah, and how did we get into this conversation? Well, we were laughing at sea. It was funny because she rang you and she was being quite forceful on the phone. She was like, just do this for me, and I won't, and I'll leave you alone or something. And it made herself, because we said, what is it she wanted? Because it's nearly serious that you went sneaky snack watch. Yeah. And then we, I think at some point said, why don't we play a game where when we see Louis through, we've got to try and say, see sneaky Sascoch. Yeah. Two in my front of him, and whoever does it, the most gets the most points. Let's just say Louis through. We know quite well, I'd say. We went to Wimbledon with Louis through. Yeah, lovely man. I've interviewed him before for his book launch and the venue stuff. Yeah, we've had him on this. Yeah, we know Louis through. He's up for a laugh. He's an interesting bloke. Yeah. So doesn't take stuff too seriously, quite relaxed. So we see him in the departure from a distance. We don't go up to him, because I don't think you want to disturb someone in the departure lounge. No, but he had his glasses off as well. So it's hard to spot. Yeah, I couldn't. What I think we said he's been a bit of a sneaky Sascoch. There isn't he. He couldn't tell it was in with his glasses off. I don't know if sneaky Sascoch. It's funny to anyone else apart from us, because we were like giddy school kids. And there was an element where I thought the amount we were giggling on the trip. People are going to go these two a bit much in real life. You can't do it. I thought they'd just like put their headphones in and like ignore each other. Well, you really, you really attacked a book. You love a book. I love a book. I thought it was a book. She's off on a book. Oh, that's your happy place. Well, I only took shoes off on the flight because you took your shoes off on the flight. No, you went shoes off first. I know. I don't know why. I remember thinking he's got his shoes off. I'm going shoes off. Fuck you. You went first. I can't be you because I thought you knew all about flights. Shit, let's go. Also, I did notice that you, your shoelace situation. I've actually been messaging Rose about this. It is so annoying, my shoelace. I don't know what to do about it. So your shoelace has always looked up there undone, but they're not. They're done up. The bow is huge. You need to double not the bow. I do double not the bow. I can't have thinning your ankles. Why is the string so long? I think, because I like a tight shoe. You pull it really tight around your feet, don't you? I think I pull it really tight and I think the consistency of the times I pull it tight lengthens the laces. So you eat like a stretch arm strong in the lace? Yeah, I think that's what's happening. I think you need to get short laces, if that's the case. Because I actually googled Josh would have come shoelace. Did you? There's a lot of evidence out there. And it's quite stressful to be with you because you always look like you're about to trip over on it. You know, I never do. I know. That's fine. I'm just saying that I'm a newcomer to this. So I was messaging Rose. I was talking to the messaging of the other night because you were busy presenting live and I was messaging her, saying how good you were doing. The shoelace says all right. Well, the shoelaces are nice. The shoelaces are fine. I said, how smart you looked. And then that led into the shoelace. He always looked like he was going to fall over in Stockholm because his laces were too long. And she said, oh my god, don't even get me started on the lace. But what can I do burn off the laces? No, just buy short laces. Well, I don't buy the laces. They come with the shoes. I know, but you're going to have to sort of modify your shoes. Measure my laces and then find some shorter ones. I said, not a loose shoelace inside and strictly. And she said, I said, honestly, I was so anxious in Stockholm. Walked in and walked downstairs. He has such big bows. And she said, I have no idea why shoelaces are so long. She said, it's one of life's great mysteries. And I said, as you got a particularly slim ankle, she said, no, his feet are quite wide. Do you think it would take up more lace? Exactly. I've got wide feet. But it doesn't take up more lace. Do you know what? I've also got a high arch. Maybe that's got something to do with it. I think you need to buy new laces, personally. Okay, fine. I'll do that. I'll get around to that. This episode is brought to you by Axe Health Insurance. Parents are very good at looking after everyone except themselves. Look, well, I'm selfless. Let your eldest has got a lingering cough, GP booked. 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I say all the areas are Sneaky Saskotch and get a point. Did you say one as well? Yeah, I said one more move met him in the queue. So the scoring system was you need to say in his company, Sneaky Saskotch, if you're touching him, you get ten points. Yeah, but I felt when I said mind him, I did feel there was a flicker that he was like, why is that phrase come up again? Yeah, I think subconsciously you might have thought there's something going on here. Because I think I said, I can't remember what it would have been, but it would have been when we were then- We haven't told him we've done this game. It's his fair. Should we have told him at the end? I feel bad now. But it only was like two or three times because then we've gotten the point- They've probably stopped and we've stopped. You read your book, I watch a documentary about an amputee that- Oh my god, did you told me about it and it sounded awful. Well, it was about a guy in Cornwall that was a doctor and a surgeon that used to do amputations, but then he basically cut his own legs off. Oh my god. Well, he did cut his own legs off. He almost is so bleeped. He's just so bleeped. Let's not get bogged down, but he ended up having to get his legs amputated because he gave himself frostbite because he wanted to be an amputee and then it found out that he was linked into his horrendous website. Oh my god. So you're reading a book about 90s Britpop and I'm watching an amputee true crime doc. And then we arrive in Stockholm, we get to the hotel, wake up in the morning, go to the conference. We have quite a- No sneaky sat swatches before the conference starts. We met a lady called Macarena. Yeah, we met a lady called Macarena who was a Mexican business podcast star. Who's I think interviewing Tom Cruise this week. Very, very intelligent, very charismatic. So on it, like, and she popped up everywhere. Everywhere was Macarena. I reckon we met Macarena 15 times in the space of 12 hours. Every time we turned around, Macarena was it and she was on the panel with us chatting. Yeah, we watched a talk from the main CEO of the department. I know, I felt like an actual grown-up. I'm a god, I'm at a grown-up thing. Yeah, and then we had Fika. That I love Fika. I've never Fika before. Yeah, which is basically a pastry at 11 a.m. And a chat, it's a Swedish cultural thing, I think. Yeah, we just stopped for a pastry and a chat. Yeah. We were so out of our debt. I spoke to someone from LinkedIn. He spoke to someone from LinkedIn. It's mad that we were there. It's so weird. You were talking to someone from LinkedIn. And then the CEO of Spotify was like, "I like, I enjoyed it." We had a nice lunch, but before the lunch, we had to sit down and do his chat, right? Now, it was a really good chat. We just basically just talk about how we approach our podcast, how we interact with people. I don't think I think it's fair to say we weren't as analytical as top people in business would want you to be. No, but that's not what we do. The other podcast is there was Louis Fru. There was another one, there was a business one, and then a current affairs one. So they're quite serious, so it was a spread. They had like the sort of documentary one, comedy one, and then business and current affairs. And then there was questions. And now, I think I answered this fine, but I don't know if it was the right thing to do. So I'd be nice to hear from you and Michael. They asked us how we use AI within our podcast, and there was some serious answers about. Well, I opened up both things, we don't. No, yeah, which was a lie, because we do. And I said, after they gave their quite sort of intelligent, broad answers about AI, I said, we have used AI in our podcast on football in Hill, we created an image using AI of Roberto Deservi, the Tottenham manager, that had been transformed into a hamster, and then back into a human watching CCTV in a shot. To what I would say was slight confused silence, until you burst into laughter, Josh. But that is the only time we've used it. Even the eternally smiling Macarena. The eternally supportive Macarena was looking a little confused at that point. Yeah, I mean, was that okay to say that? That was the answer. You could ask me a question, you get an answer. We had a lovely day out. We had lunch, lovely lunch, didn't we? We had a lovely lunch. You made loads of friends at the lunch. I think there's another world where you'd be a salesman. Oh, I love it. I'm not even doing it. I just like talking to people. I've got a resident recommendation in Buenos Aires of a man from Argentina. I'm not sure you do like talking to people. You're a man who lived on an industrial estate, as I lestered to avoid human contact. You know, if I'm well rested and got space. That's why I'm a chatterback on the touring. That's why you're pulling back on the touring. Exactly. If I'd been on tour, I wouldn't have been as chatty at lunch. I had to get it out of me. It gives you a lower break when I get home if I've chatted to a bloke from Buenos Aires. Exactly. I just have to tell her about what I've said to him at lunch, rather than start a new conversation when we lose. So that's easier for her. Because she just has to nod. And she's not fully involved. By the great time. And then we finished the conference and then we were football shirt shopping. Oh, yeah, that was great fun. Very fun. Do you know what? I saw going to the park trail in my hotel. How could if the park trail was there? Very exciting. We had a lovely time. Right at the end, you did a full 10-point. Thank you, Sascox from Louis. Yeah, because we were sat for a photo and he was behind me. And we were talking about what we did on the plane. And he was talking about a book he read. He was asking intelligent questions. And I went, it's that basic that I was on the way again. I'll go in with an easy bit of cheeky chapie army and idiot stuff. Put me hand on his knee. And when Joe Arles did, I was playing sneaky Sascox from a phone. And then he just looked straight ahead for the camera. 10 points bang. 11-1. Daniel. And then at the airport, we fought him up on the plane home. So he was searching all the gates for the BA flights to try and get in a hands-on sneaky Sascox. [laughs] God, good fun. So Louis, thank you. A pilot. What do you mean? I don't think you knew what was going on. I think, I think. I don't know, is this a legal thing you're allowed to do? Do, drop in sneaky Sascox into your conversations generally. Record them and send them into us. Yeah, we go. [laughs] Yeah. Yeah, let's make it a little viral tip-top trend for you. Say, you're sneaky Sascox. So many times until your partner goes, "What are you saying? Why are you saying that?" How many times can you say, "Sink, Sascox, what before you're born?" [laughs] You're not upset. Yes, that's fun, that. Enjoy that. Yeah, that was a really nice trip. It was, we had fun. Have you seen a kid's much this week, Rob? Loads. We went to, well, we spoke about it on the footballing podcast. Actually, we went and saw London Cityline S's. So we spoke about that on the football podcast. That was good. That was a little Saturday afternoon out. Sunday we went to see some friends. And they're just, they're just, I felt like, I don't know what was going on, but my kids didn't stop speaking for the whole weekend. Do you ever find that we're just children? It's just like, "Oh, my God. This is, I tell you just because I've been at home loads." And I was with them all weekend. But I just thought, "I can't talk anymore." Yeah. Do you ever find that on this side? I felt really bad. But I was just like, "Dad, that is a constanator." And they were like, "Yes." And at one point, our dog was a bit nervous. Baby, we've worked out. George, if we've got a, we have got a few flies in the house. And we've got this machine, like a light that's blue, that you turn it on, flies, get drawn towards it, and then get like, zapped. Yeah, zapped. We've worked out that freaks of dog out. I don't know if there's a frequency or a smell or a noise. The dog can hear that we can't hear. But when that's on, we've got rid of it now. But when that's on, he gets all nervous and shaky. So if you sit down with him and have him on your lap and just stroke him gently, he'll rest and just go with it. My daughter, the whole time just like, he's really nervous. And I was like, "If you sit quietly, he'll relax." She spoke nonstop about how stressed and nervous he was, basically making the dog more stressed and nervous. And then it kept on going. I think it's the noise. I think the noise is making him more. And I just said, "How about you don't speak?" Right, by the end of the weekend, she went, "My voice, my chest feels all tight and my throat's hurting." I went, "I'm not trying to be aggy. Have you thought about not speaking for a bit?" But it's so difficult to say that to your child about looking at an evil pet. I'm like, "You have a not-stop-spoken for two days." "Try not speaking." But yeah, we had a fun weekend when it's a friend to the morning. Oh, they gave us so sweets from my hotel room. Oh, yeah. The welcome package was some sweetest sweets in chocolate. Yeah. How did they go now? Well, we took them to our friends. We was going to our friends in the morning. Actually, it's weirdly. We went to our friends at about 11 a.m. For Fika, essentially. For Fika? But just an accidental Fika. It's contagious. A little Fika. So, yeah, because let's be honest, I mean, I love Fika as much as the next man. Yeah. But he's not the first time I've ever eaten a pastry at 11 a.m. No, but I think the what fee career is because it's what works have at Scandinavians are They're very direct and quite comfortable in saying yes and no. Yeah, it's not all good with a British. So like, I think the point of fever is, if I said to you, come around for fever, what that means is come around for 11 o'clock, fuck off by about 12. You're not getting lunch, you're not staying all day. You're coming in for a coffee in a pastry, then you're gone. And then the person who knows what place is a thing, right? So if yes, if you were in a British workplace and you said, sure you're down tools and get a pastry at 11 a.m. People go, well, I'm not sure about that. I've got a call there and I've got that. Yes, in exchange of ideas, Rob. And also just you don't always have to be talking about work. But I think 11 o'clock figures that you wouldn't book in a call, then, because that is fever time, of course, but I think I want to introduce because sometimes on a weekend, it would be nice for friends of kids to come over for about an hour and a half, two hours. But I don't want to accept eight hour day. You know what I mean, like, because if someone says, come round about 11, you're like, well, what am I coming round for? Is that early for lunch or are you coming for lunch? Are you coming for the day? Are you coming for dinner? Like, but a speaker's like, come round at 11. And then you know, you're having a pastry in a coffee and then you go in. I'm not feeding you for lunch. I think we need to be the faces of bringing a speaker to the UK. Yeah, the speaker boys, the speaker boys. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I think Fika needs to, I think you should say to him, do you want to come around for Fika? What's that? You come around at 11. We have a coffee and a cross on or a cinnamon bun. And then you go about 12. I'm not doing your lunch. Oh, those cinnamon buns were so good as well. Then it was very good. Yeah, so you went around for Fika to your friend's house. Oh, that's everything I've got as well. You know, the on Spotify, they have the X guy, the DJ X, the recommended songs, like an algorithm thing, but it's actually a man talking to you. Yeah. He's a real man. Yeah, you may have met him. He did a video for the girls. There you go. They were buzzing. They were buzzing. They loved DJ X. Yeah. So that was all good. And then come back and then, yeah, I went to Bristol on Friday to do the a dentist corporate. I mean, have I not done one before? Easiest gig in my life. Why were the dentists having a corporate in a room with a concord in it? So basically, I think it's an association, if I'm right, that sort of smaller dentist practices can join. I imagine for access to different things based in the Southwest. So I think it was a central point for everyone was Bristol. This is mad aircraft hangar. We've got a concord in it that you can kind of look around and then tables and chairs at bottom and I did the gig there. It's really good gig, actually. That's really nice. Oh, nice. How much, how much teeth stuff have you made? What? How much teeth stuff did you do? How much loads of teeth stuff? Absolutely. I'm at it. Are you good, are you? I mean, it's insane. I mean, absolutely. Well, I mean, for me, that's probably the easiest. Corporate. And what would you, what would you always be? Plymouth, I'll go, but then if the plan's there, it gets a couple of guys really tough. I, I don't, I think I might turn down Plymouth, I'll go, well, he's going down with you to do a lot of Lego. My son's become Lego obsessed. He's just so into Lego. And is he building stuff with the booklet or just making mad stuff? Building stuff with the booklet. That's what he lives obsessed to the booklets. He wants. So you're going to need a place to store all the builds, aren't you? Yes, he wants you to share from his room when it's done, but I think it's going, there's getting too much stuff. Yeah, no, between three cats and a, you know, jumbo jet or whatever he's building, or we've got the plane. And the plane's difficult to fit anywhere because the wings are quiet. You can mount them on walls. If you've seen this, he'd be likes to play with them. Right. Okay. So he gets them down and play it. Yeah. So that's, that is our sitting room at the moment. It's to be honest, Rob, life is pretty smooth sailing family wise at the moment. It's all pretty easy. Well, not easy. It's never easy, it's never easy. But it's easier than it's being because easy. It's his first, it's his second year of school now as well. Yeah, one. Yeah, one. So like you're getting into a little bit of the meant that you're creeping into the easy because it is 10 and eight is a lot easier. Is it more arguments and mental gymnastics? But you know, look, they're getting themselves up and dressed. I'm not having to do shoe laces up. I just can't believe the difference between the children's moods with each other during some holiday and normal. Yeah. By the end of the summer holiday, they are so done with each other. But they're best buds again. They're a bit, well, you know, you know, Rob, you know how it is. We're getting ready for Halloween. Are you, are you a fan of Halloween? I know I can do. So the bollocks, Louis the girls love it. I think they're, I normally just don't get involved in Lou and the girls go to a friend's house and they do trick or treat. I mean, and you just sit at home like a sad old scrooge. Well, no, I mean, make sure the lights are out so that the problem is, the problem is I have to buy my school to avoid trick or treating. And there's just a lot of old people I live. So it's not many kids, but I'd have to get a mask because it's a bit unfair when the kids, if they go trick or treat and then everyone's like, well, I drop back it there. So you have to go mask up or you become, oh, yeah, you become back out. It is absolutely spot on because you get a lot of that because they do get a little bit of the saying it a bit more now because they're getting older. People commenting that I'm their dad. Yeah, and say people, like, because saying people always say to me, you're that for us back in your dad's Rebecca, your dad's Rebecca and stuff like that. And I, you know, it's, and it must be annoying. I'm getting the sense of the finding it annoying. Right. Yes. What can do about that? That's so you'll just go, do you know what? When I want to try it as a favor to you, as a favor to you, I'll stay at home while you go trick or treating. No, no, I'll just watch the football. Yeah, but I said, what I said was, I said, yeah, they'll say that now, but I know that you are going to be so successful and so talented and skilled in whatever you do, that me being your dad is going to be such a small part of who you become that people won't even know or care by then. That'll pressure you put on them, Rob. Maybe, but I think they will. But it's not pressure of it's an unwaverable belief as opposed to expectation. I'm going to say you're going a bit, you know, I was like, always that. Yeah, and on some of the door. Oh, no, you've got to be kidding me, haven't you? Well, yeah, Josh, come on over the years. It's not like the professionalism. It's gone out the way. Hey, I've got a black backdrop. Yeah. I know. Well, no, but I just, I just sort of tried to dismiss it and go, yeah, but the door, you've just ignored the door. Yeah, I don't know the door. What going on, sir? No, who is it? It's a delivery. They're popping over the fence or they'll put it in the neighbors. I'm not going to look at over the phone. I'm busy. It's not fecal time. It's business time. Well, it is fecal time, actually. Should we like, should we like fecal? The argument is though, our job's fecal. Our job is fecal. How do you take the only thing we could do is add in a pastry, which I think Michael, Michael's fecal in for us. Can you fecal alone? Um, I think Michael's just called eating. Yeah, yeah, I think the point of a fecal is a group of people coming together to chat. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think of my neighbors. No, just turn up a little pair of shulks, Dick swaggering around. Fans here, sit them, um, but how we got it. That hits on named after the color of lemons, not a coincidence. Think about it. But now seven up as fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Now lime comes first, seven up, flip the set. Feeling short on smiles? Does your frown need to be turned upside down? We got the perfect dose of comedy, 30 minutes of scrubs. Zach Braff, Donald Face On, Sarah Chalk and the rest of the gang at Secret Hard are back for a brand new season. We play medical doctors who are besties, just like in real life. And we'll definitely be up in each other's cases. Scrubs come here as Wednesday on ABC. And stream the next day on Who Moves? Sad effects may include laughing, cheering and lots of high fives. Well, any other people, I feel like stuff's gone on this way, but I can't. Trying to sort out birthday parties. I've been away a lot and then, oh yeah, talk to me about birthday parties because you've got, they've got the double December, double dip December coming up, haven't you? Yeah, so what we've done is we brought them slightly earlier to try and spread it out, but we're not going away at Christmas or at home or Christmas. So we've got a bit more of a chilled Christmas as we went away before, but we probably I thought I'm earlier, and I got a week in the middle. So I think one, one's gonna do a escape room and pizza express, which would be fun. And then the other one, one is to just do pizza express and then go to like the theater with like one or two friends, but I think that's out the window now. But I think we now maybe doing some sort of, it's a place near us in Kent that does like, to boggan in, like dry slope, to boggan in and like, just know things about a dry slope. So I think you get an hour of going down this dry slope on to boggons and like rubber ring things. And make sort of, it just embraced the fact it's gonna be cold in December and I've went to fun. - That's fun. - That is fun. - And just like, we've got to just go look, if you dress for rain and cold, if you wear your waterproofs and layers, it's fun, isn't it? - And is it gonna be a drop off, both those parties? - No, yeah, both drop offs, but I think we may do a drop off at our house and us drive them down there. - Oh, nice. - Between the two cars, I think you can get them all in. - Is that why you could put a new car? - Yeah, well, we've got a new car to do, big family trips, we get loads of it. It's a seven-seater, Josh. - Oh yeah, 'cause I remember the conversation where you said, "We're thinking of doing this." - And then, you know me, I was talking about it, you do it immediately. - You were talking about it, you do it immediately. - I know of accepted, that's my thought process. Life's a lot easier. I never thought, and I'll do it immediately, and some pay off, some don't. But that's who I am, and I have to live with that. - Exactly, and that's why you're going back on tour in the middle of 2020. - A lot more of it pays off than goes the wrong way. - Exactly, exactly. We had a chat about your two phones. - Yes, I'm thriving with my two phones. - Are you? - I'm actually annoying Lou now, but because I've created a little bit of space between me and social media, on Sunday, when Lou is on a phone, the girls are like, "Lou, get off your phone." And I was like, "Yeah, come on, Lou." - Yeah, here we go. - I'm not doing it, and that annoyed her a lot. - Really, really a lot, because she's just like, "Just because you've decided to do something for you, "why are you making it my problem now as well?" - Well, I've had a very similar phone. So I'm back on the brick. You've inspired me, and I'm loving the brick again. - Yeah, my life, I feel. - By the way, I'm not completely off social media, like some sort of thingy. I've just avoided it in the evenings, and so Sunday, we left the house at 10 a.m. I took my personal phone, and I didn't look at my work phone until about six in the afternoon, and replied to a few messages. So I'm still in contact with people and getting to fun, but I'm not on me all the time, and burning hot with messages and emails, and I'm afraid she'll say, "This is a thing I'm gonna say." All right, I'm gonna throw it out there. I think the thing that's, I think the word work and personal is the confusing thing. - Okay, I'm going to need to call it. - Because I don't think your phone distraction stroke addiction, is to do with work, it's to do with social media. - 100%, but part of my work is social media, so I can't eradicate it fully, but if it's on a device, I can't access when I'm with my family, that creates less distraction when I'm with them. - Yes, totally, but I don't, what I don't think you're addicted to is emailing your agent. - No, but I'm addicted to safety, which comes from booking in work on a deeper psychological level. - Right, okay. - So being, my phone going off is almost, like that originally the work one is, "Oh my God, they want me, they need me, "can get money, can get it." And that also, again, that phone, that having that phone relationship drags me back to that way of thinking that I don't need to be like anymore. So it's almost a confidence thing to go, I cannot look at my phone for an entire day, and that doesn't mean my career's over, and I'll never earn again. - Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Because I always felt like a hat to be on that phone, because if I miss an opportunity, I'll be an idiot, stupid, what a loser, and you fucked everything up, which is-- - And the truth is, your mind is using the excuse of that to then just scroll a TikTok. - 100%. And I'm not, none of that. And then, but once I'm there, I can't get off those, they're too addictive. So if I've got a little bit of space, but also I do need to be on it slightly, one to sort of promote stuff and see how things are going, but also I do, you do need a little bit of it to be able to access what's going on in the world for my job and being across stuff slightly, but not to the extent I was using it. - Yeah, so anyway. - Anyway, but that's, it's working for me at the moment, but like I say, it's a working progress. - It's a working progress. And Rose had a question which other people might have, how does Lou know how to contact you on which phone? - On our, we've got WhatsApp group called Robin Lou, and in that group, is Lou's number, and then both of my numbers. So if she wants to message me, she messages me on that group, and I will get that message whatever phone I'm on, 'cause it's going to the group. And then if she wants to ring me, she tries one, if that doesn't answer, tries the other. - Yeah. - But she'll probably know which one I'm on from, if it's the middle of the day on Tuesday, I'll be on my work one, but if it's on the weekend and stuff like that. So you just did a WhatsApp group of you to on and then you can message on that. - There we go. - So there we go. - So that's what I'm doing. But if you've got a spare old phone, try and do it, it is helping me draw a little bit of a line in the sand. - It is mad that we've reached a space in time where we have to buy a second phone because we're being dragged into these apps. - But are we space into it? There's so addicted, it's actual crap. And this stuff is like we are, some other content as well that I'm watching is shite. We're being spoon-fed fucking gruel 'cause we're so addicted. It's like a junkie that will take any old crack 'cause it's there. You know what I mean? - Yeah. - And then what people are doing now is creating content that fits that method. - Yeah. - We're not for our garage. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - So then I'm watching stuff I don't even like, but because the way it's shot that basically manipulates your eyes or plays off on fear or do this, and this is how your life will better do this, this is how all these things are playing to fears and vulnerabilities. And you're like, you're hooked in, but the actual core of you's like, what the fuck am I hooked in? I don't care. I'm not doing this Chinese swinging of arms thing just 'cause it makes you get a string of lymphatic fatlock. I'll get in a hammer with AI shit about how to talk to people and what exercises to do. So it's like, it's so hard to avoid being dragged into it. So not having-- - When I was in Paris with you, Rommesh and Tom Davis. - Yeah. - Which wasn't a personal trip as we've discussed. The I, you three know so much. I just about tick tockers and YouTubers. People I've never, ever heard of. And I think you three are the only adults of my age who I know who know about these people. - Well, yeah, you're not into that kind of, you've, you've, you've-- - No, no, no, no, that's not a criticism. - No, no, but you told the drawbridge app at 2003. - I told the drawbridge app at 2008 when I started standup. That was when I pulled the drawbridge app. - But yeah, you're not, you're supposed to be doing that. - Well, I am. But I'm just getting fed different stuff, aren't I? - What are you getting fed? - I'm wasting my time as much as you are. But it just feeds me that stuff because you're interested in, you know? - I'm interested in people and weird people and characters and stuff and I've watched that kind of stuff as opposed to, I don't watch old documentary. I think you would, you would watch a good old, like, something from the past video where I'm like, watching newer stuff. - Yeah. - Like, amputation documentaries. - But is that, look, the equivalent is, like, if you're addicted to something and I am addicted to my phone, if I'm going out for the, if I'm trying to get to stop smoking, right? - Yeah. - And I grabbed my car keys to drive my car. - Right? - Yeah. - And go out and there's cigarette and lighter attached to those car keys. - Yeah. - It's gonna be impossible not to smoke that day. But I need the keys to get out and that's attached to it. It's the same with your phone. But if I can get a set of car keys without that on it, so I can go out and move around part of my car. - It's good, right? - It's good. - But yeah. - It's like, did your screen time, I suppose your screen time split, so you don't know? - Well, I'm not, I've got more, screen time's bollocks really though because I could spend three hours tied in a room with a podcast on or a YouTube interview on. And technically it thinks I'm watching that, but I'm not, it's just playing out as I listen to the audio. So, and also I use it for drive-in. So, I don't, I don't give a damn to read some, but I have definitely got more hours and I'm talking to the kids more and I'm not looking at it when I'm out. So I didn't, I took my, I took my personal phone to the football with the kids. - Yeah. - There's nothing to, you know, sometimes you're waiting for a bit, you get bored and the kids are chatting, you just automatically, my fun does it about me thinking. So I'm just trying to, - And have you, this is my other question 'cause this is a slight thing I get with the brick, right? - Yeah. - Is, I find myself, - With the brick, you can just disable it, I can't. - Yeah, but I don't, 'cause it's, - Oh, that's good. - Well, you can, but it's that, it's that thought probably, it makes you engage with the thought process. Do you know what I mean? - So, obviously do. Like, but, - That's not it. - I just, the main motivation is, have you replaced social media and stuff like that with weird other things that you find yourself browsing on your phone? - No, not really. What I've done actually is, I've done like, I've like finally time to do other stuff, like sort of things out in the house, actually playing a computer game. I know it's like, oh my, I know it's not. - You just sneaky little sarscore. - Yeah. - You're like, "He, how are you?" - Downloaded a game called, I just thought I'm embarrassed to tell you what it is. - What? - 'Cause you're gonna just rip me to pieces. - It's cool. - Is it a game where you pretend that you're on tour? - It's called Lawn Simulator 2. Oh my God. - Or I cut grass in a computer game. - And is there a skill to it, or would you just do it? Is it like? - It's quite glorious and boring, but for me, it engages my brain. I could listen to a podcast, do that, and I'm just not doing any, I'm just in my own little world. - Yeah, no. - I'm not scrolling. So I'm finding, I've got more spare time that isn't involved, and the reason I'm doing it is, I've gotta give my daughter a phone soon. She's gonna go into year seven next year. I cannot give her a phone and say, you're not allowed to be on a phone that much. When I sit there on it, I'm fucking glued to it in the evenings that weekend. So in the day, during the week, that's fine if I need it for work. And also normally, 'cause I'm busy, I'm not on it anyway, 'cause I'm actually physically doing a job or somewhere or something. So anyway, I feel like I'm boring, I'm banging on that. But I think you've just got a lot of people. - I've just got a lot of people. - Disciplined and showing example to the girls, 'cause otherwise it's just the turn around going, you're on your phone all the time. - Yeah. - And then all of a sudden we just all give in and four of us are on a phone all the time. - Well, yeah, and I suppose the problem is you've said this, you feel like lives on a phone all the time, don't you Rob? - No, coming. No, she's not, she's on the phone less than I was, but the girls just use any excuse to wind up the parent, don't they? Especially if one's doing something, the other one's not. - Oh, yeah. - If one's holy than now. - Yeah, no, no. And even if I'm not doing it, the kids will jump on that as mums and a phone all the time, aren't you Matt? 'Cause they just wind up the massive wind. - Oh, God. - And they're good at it. - Oh, God. - And then my daughter's so loose, like, you know, getting it hard call. - Yeah. - Yeah, anyway. But that's what I'm up to. Are small busy shout out? - Now it's time for your small busy shout outs brought you by Vista Prince, your expert print partner to help bring your ideas to life. - For example, shopping bags, get branded shopping bags, basically free advertising because, as parents, they're constantly carrying snacks, toys, random bits of rubbish around in them. Now, here we go, Josh. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. I only found your podcast earlier this year, like to the pie. I've been to every single episode since, and I nearly caught up the phone. - That is insane. - Jesus, nearly caught up the phone. - I'm so scared. - Good on you, don't you stop scrolling? - Yeah. - She's gonna have a real cold turkey situation when she has to go down to two a week plus the football one. - Well, Shivon, Shivon, there's a football one for you, so you can crack into that. - Yeah. - And the good thing about the football one is, you do not need to keep current with football because we haven't for 15 years. - No, exactly. We love the past. - I'd have a small new and scary business shout out for my four-edge painting, book-edge painting business. I finally taken the scary decision to try and make my dream and hobby into full-time job. - Correct. - And yet to make a sale and I'm terrified I've made the wrong decision. I paint scenes onto the edges of books, either by Inspirational Commission. These are beautifully created books to sit on your shelf and admire. Also create other commission work on canvas and wall murals. Go to Coddy, Wom, Flur, oh my God, I got. Coddy Wom, Flur, Codd, this is wild. So Instagram is Coddy, C-O-D. - No, no, it's Coddy Womple Art. - Coddy Womple Art, okay. (audience laughing) - Another one, my name is Coddy Womple Art. - Hi, Coddy, Mrs Womple Art here. Coddy Womple Art, C-O-D-D-I-E, W-O-M-P-L-E Art. And that's Coddy Womple Art. Dot Coddy, okay, for the website and Coddy Womple Art for the Facebook. Amazing, it was still available, really, isn't it? And luckily, 'cause I'm on my business phone, I can check it out. - As we say, every time, us getting it wrong and talking about the title a lot is a real, is a real win for you on the. - Absolutely, sure. - Just look at the sneaky Sasquatch sales. Coddy Womple Art, I mean, too fair, it's better than having Shavon Dan, 'cause no one can spell Shavon either. Now, Coddy Womple Art is 212 followers. Let's try and get this up very, very high. I've followed, that's 213. Four Edge Artists, all these have looked beautiful. I didn't have this one. Oh, so she paints the actual pages. Oh, this is incredible. - Oh, here we go, this is, that is good. Yeah, she's amazing. - Everyone go to Coddy Womple Art on Instagram if they're using their work phone. - So she puts the book in a vise. They put the book in a, she puts the book in the vise. - Yeah. - So she paints it and it's all close together. - Oh, that's nice. - That's clever. - That is clever. - Yeah, let's make that small business into a medium to large business or a huge multinational corporation that we've become addicted to. - Hi, Rob Joshel Michael, love the podcast. It's been keeping me sane for early mornings, late nights and everything in between with my 10-year-old twins. Yes, it is hard and no, they're not identical. I wanted to throw my small business into the ring for your small business shout out. It's called "Brujitsu Coffee". I have a passion for gay coffee. I'm recently been inspired by my kids to take up jujitsu. This is how "Brujitsu Coffee" was born. Though our brand is inspired by jujitsu, it's just as violent as it is for training. Every blend is ethically sourced, small batch roast in the UK and designed to help people stay focused, calm and caffeinated whether they're training, working or trying to get their kids out the door without a meltdown. Our tagline is fuel your fight and I think that applies perfectly to parenting too. You can find us at brujitsu.shop or Instagram. Brujitsu Co. If you fancy giving it a shout, I'd be over the moon, we did. Parenting hell listeners can get 10% off with the code parenting10. It's a classic. Thanks for all the last therapy through chaos, all the best day. VistaPrint.co.uk print your possible to get 15% off your first VistaPrint order. Visit VistaPrint.co.uk and use the code parenting hell 15. Big up VistaPrint with us. We got the perfect dose of comedy. 30 minutes of scrubs. Zach Braff, Donald Faison, Sarah Chalk and the rest of the gang at Secret Hard are back for a brand new season. We play medical doctors who are besties. Just like in real life. And stream the next day on Hulu. Side effects may include laughing, cheering, and lots of high fives. Don't know Superman. On any journey using Uber, it helps to know you're getting into the right car. Pin verification adds an extra step to make sure your ride is your ride. Before the trip begins, your app gives you a unique pin. Just tell it to your driver. And they'll enter it in their app before the ride can start. Hey, what's your pin? 2538. That way you know you're in the right car taking the right trip and your driver knows you're the right passenger. Make sure your ride is your ride with pin verification from Uber. One more way Uber is putting safety at every turn. Learn more on the Uber app.