S13 EP2: Big Pants Update and a seagull attacks Josh

This episode is presented by Monzo. Josh, I love the summer holiday, aside from being asked from ice cream every 32 seconds. Wow, Rob, that is why it's an ideal time to get them a free Monzo Kids account. Help build confidence and independence with their money. You can instantly sell money or sell a regular pocket money and parents still have full visibility and control from their own Monzo app. Unlike the requests for ice creams from the kids. Monzo's award-winning Kids Account, search Monzo. For children aged 6 to 15, parent or guardian account needed first, UK residents only, tees and seas apply. Hello, you're listening to Parents in Hell with? Mum, are you? Hello. Tweet up. Tweet up. Can you say. Rob? Tweet it. Tweet up. Good job. Tweet. Good job. Can you say. Josh, Withercan. Bob, Bob. Is this Bob? Yeah. Oh, honey. Can you say Josh, Withercan? What's Bob? Josh. Withercan. Oh. Withercan. Oh. Withercan. Oh. Withercan. Oh. What? What? Good job. Good job. Did you do Withercocks? Yeah. Pretty cute that one. Even for an old, sour, sour, slag like me. Oh, you're dead behind the eyes, aren't you, Rob? You're dead behind the eyes. Do you know what? Yeah. Yeah. I've rubbed your ass and I've. I've swinging in and out of it. I'm all right. I'm good. I can see my diary clearing up and opening up and up. And I can feel myself relaxing. After all these years, you finally, you finally opened up your diary. I'm three weeks away from just fucking having a cup of tea and wearing hemp. Oh, yeah. Can you wear hemp? Not if you want to look good. I might do a sage, you don't. A burn sage in my house. Yeah. So talk to me about it. Well, let me talk about this and then I'm going to see about your new hippie persona. I'm making this up a bit. Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm on the far midway through. I was going to re-record it as I also hate my embarrassing mum voice in this. This is my daughter Bella, just before she turned two, mentioned at the time that someone forgot about months. Never miss a podcast. I'm a huge fan of you both. I love seeing you live. Bella's now two and a half. If it's definitely like living with a tiny stand-up comedian. A big shout out to my sister-in-law, Kaz in Tumberidge Wells. He got me hooked on this when Bella was born. Thanks and love Emily and Epsom. Lovely. Thank you very much, Emily and Epsom. It is embarrassing. You're your child voice, isn't it? Yeah. But you've got to be done. That's how they respond. Exactly, Rob. People don't just decide to do it. It's because it gets more out of them. Because it's so long when you get nothing back. Exactly. It's just there at you. And it'll be me just to talk to them like this. Go ahead. Have you had enough milk? Yeah. Say dad. Say daddy. Say, say, Rob Beckett. Well done. Say Joshua Ducan. Good. How are you Josh? Good. I've got some big pants up there on you. Hello. Go on, big pants. You know about my big pants. I'll just find the thing. If you fill people in on that. You wear baggy sunspills. Yeah. So I went for a thing. 100% cotton. That way I'd hope so. I went to this thing called Neco Health. Right. Which is, it's like a rosebook to them. It's a kind of body scan. Yeah, to see if it healthy. So it's all very fun and futuristic, right? But I went in and you go in. It's his endeavour. No. It's all fun and futuristic. I was in London. He was in London. London, you just flag off, but you have to go back for certain things you can't get in Devon. To stay alive. Go down here for a cotton cream. It's very futuristic. You go in, right? And it's like, it's made to look futuristic. And then you go into a room and you've got a dressing gown on with just your pants on. And then you go into like a stand up thing. It's like all around you and you stand there like an airport security. And then they say, pass out your, so you're just in your pants, pass that out. So the gown out. So you're just in your pants. Yeah. And then they do all the scans. And then you have a chat with a doctor about all the findings straight away. And it brings up a kind of futuristic version of what you looked like. I don't know. But it really accentuated how big my pants are. It hasn't accentuated. It's just reflected. It looks like I'm in a huge pair of pants. But you are in a huge pair of pants. I sent it to you. I've sent it to you. So this was what was on the wall. And I wanted to go to the woman that's unfair on my pants. I mean, let's have a look at this. But just nothing's changed. They scanned you. And that's the size of your pants. You've just never seen yourself like that before. I didn't realize how big my pants were. We can't put that on it. They just can't go on the Instagram. Let's make sure this goes. Okay. It has to go online. That's such a big pants. They are big. But it doesn't look like your knobs poking through the bottom. No, that's just the fold of the pants. And then you do have big, they are big pants. I can't believe. I can't believe you running them. With the little I elasticate one that there's just so much material. But they just I thought it was going to be like sort of really weird scale. But that's exactly what your pants look like when I see you in pants. They are big pants. They are. And that's fine. If you want big pants. I think that's how big they were. They're just big granddad pants. Big bloopers. If you will. Bloopers. Yeah. Right. We're going to talk. We're going to. If you've got anything more you want to say before we hear from our audience. I can't really think of what's got to stand out. Oh, the boy, the boilers being fixed. Yeah. Plumber came and. Need to do part. He's going to the wholesalers now to see if you could get the part. If you can get the part, we back tomorrow morning to fit the part. But at the moment he can't. So what he's done is turn the immersion on. So I love hot no boiling. Oh, yeah. No, we don't have a lot of. But he's going to have any central heating. Unfortunately. Oh, no. So that's a nightmare. So we'll be shivering in the back of the house tonight. Yeah. Faradah. I'm 25 degrees. I love this heatwave. I know in on the news if on the stand it's bad, but. It's nicer than the alternative. It's too hot for me. It's too hot for me. I know, but I would you rather be too hot than it be. Rainier miserable for the summer. I'm quite a rainy miserable guy though. I think. Okay. Well, that's I agree to disagree. Yeah, no, no. I totally I can understand why people are coming. They don't have to understand. You can just disagree with me if you want. I don't want to. I don't think one right one is right one is wrong. People have different tastes. This is a Reddit bait to get all the Reddit guys. Oh, yeah. Can we hate each other? Oh, yeah. So tell me about Reddit. I think we should have a quiz. A Reddit, a Reddit section where Michael Reed's stuff. You have to guess if it's true or false or. Yeah. Like what's been on there. But we can work about out. Michael. Michael. Can you get any of that together by the end of the episode? Well, I would say is out of the Reddit stuff is the funniest thing is. There will be discussions about why they think we've done stuff. And the compliments to us that there's any actual thought behind any of it. Is like remarkable from like the order of episodes who we've booked as guests. We don't even know. No. So it's like, that's quite that's been quite fun. Can I let you into the order of the episodes guys? It's when people's books are coming out. They they need to be on certain weeks. And if they haven't got anything to promote, they are put in those weeks when no one's really requested to be in that week. So it's just. Yeah, exactly. But and then we did loads of just us chatting because we were too busy to book and forgot to book any guests so that you know, a big real plan. The thing that I've never understood about Reddit and I think the sort of loyal fans of the show call people out for this as well is the people that goes specifically on to the parenting hell page on Reddit to say, oh, I don't listen anymore. However, and then they'll comment something on the show that they allegedly don't listen to. There's a very recent thing that we've just got. Yeah, right. So I'm not sure how long ago they stopped listening. And also, if you do care about the show, that's fine. You know, you're out of not like stuff. But it is slightly odd to then go on to log into a specific page that doesn't get presented to you. You have to go to it and then go, yeah, I don't listen anymore. Because bear in mind, I don't listen to almost every podcast on earth. Yeah. You think of any male podcast though? I reckon that I listened to about 0.01% of podcasts. This is what this is a comment I just was scanning through the page and I just enjoyed it said. The title of the feed or the title of the sub was called brainstorming. I just wish they had a planning meeting. Didn't brainstorm what they're going to talk about on the actual podcast itself. Fair. Fair. You know what? Fair. Totally fair. I've lost count of the amount of time someone suggests something that I really want to hear about. Yeah, they get sidetracked through brainstorming or being a person and never returned to the subject. You know what? Correct. Correct. On our hands up there. Yeah. We do do that. You're not bad, Michael. That's my way of trying to bridge it. Well, I'd say it's like we haven't got time for meetings about what's going to be on the show because most of the time is eating up with people not having charges or a coin. Yeah, exactly. Right. All right. Any more of you want to check in with me? If there's a quiz you can do at the end of my club, we'll get to that. Let's not brainstorm other ideas. Yeah. Right. Imagine this. Go on. So imagine this. I think it's a feature that has been taking the nation by storm. Well, I think imagine this already. So someone's suggesting a scene and we all have to say how we're imagining it. Okay. Right. This is Sarah Towns. Imagine. Imagine. Imagine. Imagine. Imagine this. - Edshawg mum and a Frog mum meeting in a garden for a catch-up. - Okay. - Ooh. - The Edshawg mum's big. - Okay. Do you want to start Rob? - So is it? - Edshawg, it's knocking. - Hello. - Is that the - Oh. - Look. Look, why is Lew knocking out the window? What are you doing there man? - You locked out. - He's knocking. - Oh, you're just knocking. - All right, okay. You're right. (laughing) - That was so weird. Sorry everyone. - I was trying to imagine - I don't - I'm at work here trying to imagine a head jog mum. (laughing) - And that was serious. - I was serious. - Yeah, I'm at work. That bitch out there is distracting me from the growing stone. - I'm imagining a head jogger. - Excuse me, can I go back off? I'm trying to fucking work here. - No, Lew was walking past and she did a weird little tap. But it was a weird tap I've never heard of. And the curtains right there. - Oh, no. - Yeah. So where this window looks out on this like the back gardeny bit. And there's like a little thing in there. So all I saw was her eyes and her finger tapping on the glass. - Oh, excuse me. - I thought she was locked out. She wasn't. Sorry, a head jog mum, a frog mum meeting in a garden from catch up. So it's a big head jog. She's a big old girl. She's there, a bit of a belly on her. She's hunched over. They've got a little tiny patty, like little table up, plastic table and chairs that they're sat on. And the head jog mum's doing some knitting. A tiny little head jog pulling on her spike next to her, maybe a child. And then the frog ones are very skinny frog mum. And she stood up pouring tea for them by the table. - That's nice. What are you getting? - I'm imagining they're kind of in adjacent kind of classic two up, two down houses with the back gardens, with a wooden fence. You know, there's wooden slatted wooden fences. And they've both got a cup of tea in their hands and they're kind of talking over the fence. And there's maybe a washing line with their washing on. And they're both kind of cartoon animal that humanized animals, what they call, what, you know, - Animal for the morse of her size. - Yeah, so they're stood on their hind legs and they may be wearing a pinny. - Yeah. - Do you know what I mean? - And are the clothes behind them in the shape of head jogs and frogs? - Well, because they're anthropomorphized, I suppose they're wearing human clothes, essentially. - Yeah, but they got really long skinny jeans out of the frog and not tiny little triad. - No, I think it's like baby clothes and it's like, - All right. 'Cause I imagine a massive waist for the head jog with tiny little legs. - Yes, I suppose of the jeans. - The head jog, yeah, yeah. She wouldn't be wearing jeans. She's a very old school, you know, kind of, parent-baby, paraspectacles, like kind of, very Beatrix pottery. - Okay, Michael, would you like to? - Mine was quite close to Josh's, except it was in black and white, like the Tilesie Gods of Coronation Street. - I can't tell you that. (laughing) - You're getting up to the eye, Max, for this one, are we? - You know the opening Tilesie Gods of Coronation Street with that sort of back alley, it was one of those. And the head jog was wearing a kind of hair net like Hilda Ogden with like, - Oh yeah, yeah. - With this image of this feature, someone's got involved here. He said, "Hello, Rob, Josh and Michael. "I love the pod, no kids, "but I've listened to every episode. "However, I must say I feel personally "affended by the new segment, imagine this." And now you've done it for a second time, or we're doing it loads here. I feel the need to speak up. I have Anfantasia, and F-A-P-H-A-N-T-A-S-I-A. And Fattasia, what is it? - Did I? - Which means I can't visualize images in my head at all. - At all. - Below your reference, I am at a five, and it seems like you idiot sort of 0.001. When you close your eyes, you see an apple. - Yeah. - I don't see it. I don't see it either. I don't physically see it. - No, but you can picture something. So if I said, "Can you imagine England "wending the World Cup?" - Yeah. - If I shut my eyes, I don't see anything. It's all black. - No, but you can picture, you don't even need to shut your eyes. I can see Harry Kane lifting the World Cup trophy in my head. - But they can't see that at all. - No. So can they read a book or something? - Well, they can read the words, but they can't imagine what they must love films. - Yeah, exactly. - Right. - So given says, "Oh yeah, you carry on." - Well, so given to Fentah, I'll request you to hold a minute silence in the pod for us and Fattasia CX during which you must close your eyes. So what? So during which you must close your eyes and imagine only blackness. This is your only way you can atone for your offense. Liam from Singapore. - So you can't see. I don't get it. - So what happens when we do the imagine this feature? They're just sort of going, oh yeah, grime. - They can't imagine a frog and a head chug. - So what are they doing? - Wow. - Wow, that's such an interesting thing to happen to someone. (upbeat music) - Workplace Shaggers, high-use tags. I was listening to your episode on the 26th of May, series 12, episode 41. Imagine this and that to write in, "I live in Ormskirk." Remember we heard about the person had sex in the pharmacy cupboard. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Oh no. - I live in Ormskirk and we see visited said pharmacy in a large supermarket. I'm taking a picture, see attached. The large bedrooms seats have gone. So any shacking can now go unheard in the shop. Stay sexy, it'll relate to all Gary. - Pop it on the Instagram, pop it on the Instagram. - This is podcast tourism. - Yeah. - People are visiting the Ormskirk pharmacy to see what they shagged. - Oh wow, your family pharmacy plus. Wow. That's good. We'll pop that on the Instagram. - Thank you, by the way. - It's a good way. - Wow, no, and I tell you what, it'll be angry. Read it. - How do you think the read it and the listeners? - Actually, let's ask this as a serious question. How would you feel listenership? And please be honest, I don't know what the best way is to reply into this. We don't want to just spam the inbox. How would you feel if we were really professional? - Yeah. - And it looks like a proper light. You know these new podcasts are pure TV show looking. We know what we're doing. We've got, we always guaranteed a guest this day or that. Like we remember, we've got some time - We've got time to make children. - And the day before, right, each episode, we'll put out a series of clips that make the interview look very dramatic. And under it we'll say, if you want the interview now, right, the word, you know. - I'm gonna DM you the link. - That one. - Yeah, I'm gonna DM you the link. - Yeah. - We can do that. And then what about like, we just like, upload a random cookie things about parenting on the parent inhale, what's that, what's it called, Instagram page? What do you think about that? - Do you like it? - Do you like that? - Trek and they probably go, oh they've gone like that, I've been in love it because it's like really professional. - There's more stuff. - There's more stuff, isn't it? - Yeah, but then like, it strikes me as without this feeling like criticism because I like this band. It reminds me a bit of like Alex Turner changing his singing voice, do you know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah. - But if he's happy doing that, that's fine. Would we be happier? - I don't know. - Be really slick, I mean, I think, maybe it's-- - If we got it in us, do you think we got it in us Michael? (laughing) - I think it would be the end of this podcast. (laughing) - Now I think what we'll do is we'll try and make sure we're always putting out great content in our way. - Right guys, exactly, exactly. - Right, what do you want to do? We've got parenting fails here, we've got playground shaggers, food confesses. - Let's save the food. - Food confession. - Well, this is when I slag people off for putting sugar in our chocolate and then I told everybody I dip bread sticks into butter and then dip it into the bread, and cheese in the meat here at the fruit. - Okay, hit me with some food concessions. - Okay. - Hello, you lovely pair. - Sarah. - Go on, we're the castor. - Sarah, 33. Here from Cheshire, no kids just cats. I was listening to your recent episode and thought I needed to write in. My food confession involves playing cream crackers. - Okay, here we go. - It's fine. - I haven't done this for quite some time. I used to, the fuck's out there. - What's that? - Is that a loo knocking on the ceiling? - No, it's like, honestly, sound like the kids are riding the horse. That was annoying. - Yeah, we've got, how much she's paying them to ride the horse? I have no substances in this house mate. - I used to eat slush chew, just Jacob's crackers and then spit them into a bowl. - What? So, crackers in mouth, chew, chew, chew. - Yeah. - Didn't tell you how to be broken. Not swallowing to spit into a bowl. I'll do this a few times. Then use a spoon and re-eat it. Oh my, F-ing-g. F-ing-g, that is too much for my tastes. I don't know why I started doing it, but I casually mentioned it to my best friend, and she told me she used to do the same with mini-chedders. What? Except she was chew, spit it out onto the next one, then eat it. - What? - So the same, but with mini-chedders. - But I don't want the differences. - It's done. Is it because they like it smashed up, and that's what they're doing, or do they like the spittle to be all right? They like smashed avocado, Josh. I'm not chewing it and spitting it on the table. On the contrary, yeah, like a bird feeding their young when they chew it, spit it in their mouths. That is bad. Because with cheddar and the same with cream crackers, you could just smash them up. You could easily, before opening up mini-chedders, smash up the bag of cheddar. Because if you were doing a new Hannibal Lecter film, and you had to try and convey to the audience a sort of a psychotic individual, if you would pass a cell and saw someone doing that, you'd go, that's two on the nose. That's two ways. - Yeah, it's two on the nose. - No one does that. But also, it's going to be from Jacob's cream crackers in a high security prison. Is it because of the two dry and they're adding moisture? - Yeah, I don't know. That is. - Yeah. - That is actually. - I don't like the look of. I don't like to think about the image of the thing in my mouth once I've started chewing it. - Do you know what I've seen some people do? I don't know who did it. There was an TV show. They're trying to make a salad and with a carrot. Instead of chopping a carrot, we're just sort of like, bite bits of it off to fall into the pot. - What? - What was this on? - That's not my gel laugh. - I remember seeing it somewhere. Also, Joe J.S.ix, when he brushes his teeth, he moves his mouth not the brush. - That's not true. - This is like something from what I like, it's probably. Yeah, I could see it, but because you're not meant to move it, do you have an electric toothbrush? Yeah, I do now because I was getting receiving gums because I was brushing too hard. Yeah, we could all see that. Did you see that on your scan or your big old bloomers out? Big old bloomers. Yeah, absolutely fine, health-wise, just a style issue. You just need better pants, mate. You look 300. You don't like a lost granddad in the fucking woods. The age of your heart is 40, but the age of your pants are 87. You've got a degenerative condition in your wardrobe, I'm afraid. Right, here we go. Luckily, your prostate's not as far as your pants. You'll be all right for a few more years. Do you want another food confession? Yeah. Hello, you trio of legends. I've been listening for years and never found a feature that quite resonates with me enough to write in until now. I have an unhealthy obsession with crispy fried onions. Thoughts on those. I like the smell that makes you feel like you're at a football match when someone's. But I don't like it when it's. When it's like put on rice or something and it's actually just like bits of crispy fried onion or when they put it on like. That's what this is. I think she's talking about the dry stuff you get in Harvest. No, I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't mind that on Harvest to sell it if I'm eating it straight away. As soon as it goes soft, I'm out. I think it also dominates. It's a strong taste. Do you know what I mean? It's difficult to see beyond it once it gets involved. We've all done panel shows with people like that. She's definitely the crispy ones because she said, "I'm an addict. At a famous food chain." Let's call it combine. My salad bowl will consist of an entire bowl of these crispy flakes of goodness, possibly with a smattering of garlic croutons for balance. For balance. For two-minute in. Oh my word. My daughter just has pineapple with bacon bits. Combine. Yeah, they're combined. But I think all. I think children have a free hit because children are like pregnant. Women, do you know what I mean? That all rules are off. Okay, around a year ago, all my dreams came true. I realized you could buy them in the supermarket. Shamelessly often sit there with a spoon and throw them into my face. I see real. One thing I would say from a. This isn't. I'm not a health expert. I imagine they are incredibly bad for you. There's nothing you can come from it. They're all going to be so great. There's so much grease in them. And then that. So. Yeah, so. So I just don't. I don't know whether a full bowl of crispy onions is going to be a win. But. She says she's. They're all up. Each throw. She rarely uses them as a garnish as their intended purpose. I'm even known to have a quick fix by tipping my head back and pouring them directly into my mouth. Wow. I'm now pregnant with my third child. So I have a sweet yet infinite period of time where I can get away with this. Far from being fair enough. No, no, no. Where she can blame it, she said it. Where I can blame it on cravings. But really, I'm just a fat fart. So what she said? Yeah, that's what she said. That's what she said. Far from it. Imagine if you'd added that yourself. No, but. She's had to at some point introduce that to her partner. Yeah. To be like, "Hey, I'm. Is there anything you do that's with you?" I'm the crispy onions guy. Yeah, like, just saying no. I'm sorry to worry about my pants. Hey, I'm not big granddad pants, but they're fine. They're not terrible. They're just grandad. I haven't got. I remember Rose thinking it was weird. Food-wise, but it's not nearly the same. Yeah. That I'd have within a full carton of orange juice directly from the carton. How big we're talking. Like the people. No, like the traditional. Do you still get them? You know the one you'd get when we were kids that are. I think it's a land. No, you know, let me. Like a carton of orange juice. Is it a litre? Is it not one that you put a straw in one that you cut with? No, no, no, no. One you'd buy for your family. You'd cut the collar off. Right. So like. The one that's in the. It's not normally in the cold. It's in the dry section that then you put in the fridge at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And is it cold when you have it? Maybe get four of them, wouldn't you, if you have a family. Yeah, so. Right, okay, so. But now let's dig into this, because I'm excited about this. Nothing micr enough, too. I can sense it. You will. Oh, come in. You're right. Oh, well done. That's good. Is it nice? No, it's my daughter that's been freezing. I know it's joking. Yep. Do we need to try it? Sorry. Oh, my. What's that? Oh, god. There's a little teeth for the social fit. Oh, oh, oh, my god. Sorry. Right. Okay, back on. Got a cushion so high enough. Oh, it's right, go ahead and get it. So, guys, right in, do you want us to go sleep? Let's know what you want from us. You know what it's biggest part here? Whoa! Oh, my gosh. Do you want us to go slick, Michael? Edit that with him saying that, and then a time stamp of how many minutes later this happened? Right. The thing, the beautiful thing about it is, we won't do that. No, we won't do that. Right. Anyway, so that was my daughter's been freezing coke and putting a stick in it to make big coke lollies. Oh, yeah, that's good. So she's probably going to use the truck. We'll die a coke. Yeah. Right. Your car, off juice. So, Yeah. You've put it in the fridge. Dinner time. You've sat down with what you eat with rose. So, this started at uni. At uni. I'd go across the road, Dodd Domino's, right? Yeah. Where in the Fallafield student district of Manchester, it was two pounds, for a, cheese and nine inch or 12 inch. Like a, a reasonable size, cheese and tomato pizza. Yeah. 195 actually, with the little part of stock. So, I was having a brain of, yeah, of course. And then I'll go next to Far Josh. Totally on the middle of this. I'd order that so often that once I found up, and when I said my name, they said what's your name? I said Josh and I said, is that the Josh? And I was like, Yeah. Yeah. And then I go next door that was a, if you went to uni in Manchester, you'll know it was a notorious kind of news agent where rumours were, you could buy nefarious things as well. So, I'm just going to move that around so it looks good, the background. So, yeah. So, you can buy naughty things there. Apparently. You could, A, I'd heard the, you know, people bought drugs. drugs there. And B, there was a, they had a video and DVD rental in those guys. And if you weren't into rent, the thing they'd say that we three pounds to rent it or for five hours, I could just burn it on to a DVD and you can have it. Oh, okay. So it's a bit of a dodgy place. Yeah. Anyway, and that's where you went to get your orange juice. I'd go and buy my carton of orange juice while my dominoes was being made. And then I'd take them both back home. And that would be my dinner. The most just really good thing ever is going to a drug dealer's buy orange juice. Dad, do you, do drugs that you do? Well, sort of. I don't know if you've ever had not from concentrate orange every night. Then so basically you sit down your pizza and you chop off the end and you would drink it from the carton. And I think in those days, I think there was a plastic thing on that, a plastic opening sheet. I said, what? But you're drinking out of the carton with your dinner and are you drinking all of that with your dinner? Yeah. Yeah. The whole, the whole eater of orange juice. Yeah, because I was under the impression that it was good for you. Yep. I agree with this because I used to drink big bottles of orange juice. Actually, just full of sugar. Yeah. So I didn't realize until I got together with Rose and she was like, you shouldn't be drinking a liter of orange juice with your dinner. I've never been more team Rose. Yeah. But no, I agree with her. Now, I'm not like saying, why did she clip my wings? I was saying I just didn't know. How long until she's telling me times of drinking you drunk that in front of her until she, because that is difficult in a relationship, isn't it? Yeah, it was quite early doors that I found out from her that orange juice wasn't like. Did you stagger it and start using a cup or a glass or you just get rid of it one day? I don't see another carton. I'm quite disgusting at the thought, isn't it in front of someone? Yeah. Well, I probably was drinking out of a glass if she was there, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. That is, yeah. That is, and that you had that of every meal. No, not with every meal. Only if I was, you know, treat myself, go to the shop. Yes. Yes. You treat drink. Good for this, Pete. So I know carton of orange juice. I can get all the meat off a chicken. What? I'm very good at getting all the meat off a chicken. Will you mouth or? Yeah. Yeah. But sometimes fingers. Yeah. But I'll get all the meat off a chicken. Standard. Well, this is kind of idea that I sat the end of a prawn. Yeah. This is kind of idea with people, Rob, that it makes the chicken would want you to have used it for as much as possible in its death. Absolutely. Eat the meat. Fat the carcass. Full service. Excellent. But I don't know if I died. It how much consolation it would be if someone had eaten me and boiled me for a broth as well. And I'm not even looking at respect. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I was just thinking this the other day that a lot of people think it's a kind of, I think you're doing it because you, you know, you want as much chicken for your bank, for your bark. Absolutely. Bank for your clock, should I say? No, I'm not doing nose to sail through ethic reasons. No, no, you know, exactly. Right. Talk to a cooking. We got a hob, hob one. Do you also have done a couple of, do you want to do one? I'll try to do it. Well, we were talking about you do that one. I'll do the next one. Okay. Was it centipot scandal? Do you want to do that one? I'll do centipot scandal. Induction hob file. Hi, Rob Josh and Michael. I love Tuesday's episode where Josh talked about his frustration with the induction hob. I thought I'd share my story. When we moved house, we had an induction hob in the kitchen. We wanted one. Nothing was cooking. And then realized we needed all new pans. And two or since living there, a plastic spice jar fell from a cupboard above and smashed the hob so we had to get the whole thing replaced. Oh, no. Then we got cats and one of our cats somehow managed to put the hob in safe mode. And we had to dig out instructions and have to take the safety off as it wouldn't have to do anything. Having said that, now we're used to it. We wouldn't go back to any other way. She knows. A bit of a curveball from David and Pratt. We've just, we've got induction on our new cook. We've got induction. But after all the induction problems you've been having? Well, there's a difference between getting in your own induction cooker, where it's quite simple and you know how to use it versus one you're unfamiliar with. Oh, I was in a hotel this week and it had a, I got a, what the fuck up into your facelift? I don't know. It's stalled, right? Did you see that? I don't know if that was the lag or you actually must get so enthusiastic. Like you're rearing out for it. No, it was real. That was real time. That was, it was like, you started to sneeze and then you paused. I was, I'll do what I think you did. I was in a hotel. Rob, could you, you got excited? I was in a hotel the other week. And I was in the hotel. I'll put it on the Instagram. Yeah, I see. I think come on. See? Or get the team on it, honestly? This is my. This is, we're using this episode for clips. I probably use it as a chicken. There's nothing on the bone, sir. When I did the rest is football in New York. Right? Because obviously, you know the podcast guy's quite well done you, Michael, because when you're in the. this is a small industry. I was sat at a bar, but whatever went, "It's just the three of you." Yeah. I mean, you couldn't tell. You can't tell, can you? Ha! Ha! [laughter] Oh, anyway, sorry, is that a cocktail? Oh, yeah, I had a kettle. [laughter] Worth watching the video for that. Impression. My own cocktail. He just suspended in time. It was like in a movie, it would have. As you would have sold it in the camera would have spun going and it's at this point, I started my. anyway. [laughter] I'm going mad. So, it was on like, it's touch. It was like an induction hob. You had to touch it to bring up the lights, but you're like, if you're in a hotel room, you can't be having modern tech. You don't need to reinvent how to turn on a kettle. No. No. Just in a hotel room where someone's got to work it out for themselves. Simple as a pot. If you want to buy that for your own house, fine. And I like a hotel that's got a big fuck off switch at the front that does all lights. Yeah. Oh. Scowing around with your ass out, trying to find a lamp one. The lamp. I don't want to. Not a time. Well, if it's a. you know that lamp, you've got. And the lamp invariably has the plug socket where I want it, but it's for a smaller plug. Yeah. A whole weird small plug that only does lamps. Do you put normal plugs in here? No, no, no. It's not make it handy for them if they've got a charge. I think that's invent a new plug for a fucking lamp that don't work. Yeah. And the lamp is, however, the floor button, the wall button, pull the plug out or you have to put your hand up, which feels like your obstacle in the lamp to try and find a little clicker. Put your hand up a skillet. I always think I'm about to get electrocuted when I'm feeling up the lamp as well. Oh, I feel like I'm about to get cancelled the way the ends go in trying to find a switch. All right. Is it a park scandal? Oh, sorry, you still got a park scandal. No. You still talking. Sorry, was you still talking? Do you want more professionalism? In 2024, no, no, no, I can't find a way. I've descended on center parks. My sister had come over from where she lives abroad. It's a really weird way of putting it. Such a weird sentence. So just men's, just so be anonymous. Well, maybe, no, they put their name at the end. Is there any more information about the place that impacts a story? Maybe in Melbourne. Maybe in Melbourne? I suppose. Are the final sentences and that sister lives in Denmark? My sister's come over from where she lives abroad. Okay. Undisclosed. Included. Five plus six month olds and husbands. Two couples. One couple lives abroad. So basically, me and my sister and our husband and six year old, six one-fold children, twins and a pox. But our sister, she lives abroad. She lives abroad, yeah. But she's come over from where she lives abroad. I knew that our vision is, she didn't go to set a park from a house abroad. She's come over for it. Yeah. I knew that our this has turned into a 1976. Well, my new Avika was also in center parks with his family that weekend. This is going to end up with the Vika thing, the naked or something, surely. These tummy cross paths, I gave a friendly wave, but he looked deeply troubled and seemed to be avoiding me. Oh, no. Later that weekend, I decided to go around to his launch to break the ice. Oh, fuck off, you cano. Sorry. I locked on the door and he opened. Payal is a sheet. I said hello and would he like to meet my family? I pointed down the pathway to where my sister was standing with her husband. The Vicar took one look at my sister and her husband, a laughed hard for a good minute. Sorry, I don't get this. This is like a kind of Sherlock Holmes mystery. What's happened? There's a lot to break down here. He's not really saying hello, so she's gone to break the ice by knocking on his door then saying, "Do you want to see my family?" She knows him. And a sister's either from somewhere abroad. What cares about seeing someone else's family? Am I wrong? Am I weird? Well, because of people on that. Because of really nice. It's another lot they can get in for the contribution bowl, basically. It's more like a mugit. I see what's happened to it. At this point, I realised that there might have been a case of mistaken identity. As we are, of course, identical twins. Here we go. Here we go. She has now something back. It turns out that for three days, the Vicar thought it spotted me canodling with another man. My sister's husband, oh my word. This is great. This is good. This is good now. I mean, sorry for all the stuff I said before, like this is shit, you're a king. I fucking bought it with the sister-abroad stuff. He now realised that it was in fact my sister and brother-in-law and I hadn't been raised in the cheating of what we were all together at CentriPox. He said he'd been worrying about what to say to me. How could he best approach the subject of such public adultery? Oh, wow. Yeah, of course. Because if he's got a good connection and that's tough and he knows that. Anyway, to keep the confusion going, my twin sister, I gave birth to our second born. I exactly the same day this year, not planned. We love your pod and most of our conversations center around digesting the most recent erranting L episode and cackling. Love Fiona, Fiona, and Ellie. Quite a while, Ellie. Ellie, Ellie. It's been six days, months. Yeah. Apologies for having a guy. I just got confused at the start. That's great. Great twist. It was a good twist. Jonathan Creek. It was a bit Jonathan Creek here. And it wouldn't work unless it's written down. Do you know who wouldn't have enjoyed that Rob? Oh, um, not from Singapore. And it's one thing we want to do on this show is keep Leanne from Singapore, I think. Sorry, Leanne. She called him to that by. It's due apologising. No, she must be as a picture of two people that look like each other. I don't think she can. She can't picture an apple. Okay, I'm on that. Yeah. All the, yeah. All the, yeah. What did they do? They're it then. I don't know. I'm going to read more about it. I think we're um, we've done that. Josh, we do some small business. Or um, I did you want to do the, the reddit thing? Michael. Did you get any reddit stuff for us, Michael? No, it can be bothered. Cool. Okay. Well, uh, tune in next time for another, uh, professional. Well, David and then, and all those things will go on Instagram and, um, yeah, and I've proved I've not been kidnapped. I'm still in the same room. We've just done this for sound. Luckily, Michael came around to my fucking god. There's a seagull at the window. Jesus Christ. Oh, look at this live photo. Imagine you're just, pop this on the Instagram, Michael. But, um, probably, I've got to start. No, we've got to start putting it stuff on it. Yeah. I can say you go. That's how. Hold down on it for the live photo. Oh, was it not? Oh, did I? Oh, it has a live photo. Oh, for fuck's sake, why weren't it live photo? That was terrifying. It's in a live photo video. Well, you know, when you're phone, maybe if you send it not on what's that? That was mental. Right. Well, business. Yeah, that you can have a look at the video now. Imagine this guy just appearing out of nowhere. Well, at least a little. We have to get this message. Oh, my god, he's making noise now. Oh, I moved along. You can edit that and turn that into, I'll turn that into like a repeating gifting. Yeah, that was fucking terrifying. Oh, that's very funny. Right. Small business share. Yeah. Hi, Rob and Josh and Michael OG listener here. What an evolution you've had from those stressful days in the beginning. Yeah, we're just moving. Chill now. Yeah. Very very very very. I've just started a professional organizing business and we'd be grateful for that. I'll organize and the clutter wall droves, pantries, children's rooms, playrooms, charity spaces, office spaces, kidnap locations, hostage scenes and the Pilatee rooms with a bit of wood and a blanket hung over the back. For more information, I can be found at my main base on Instagram at curated by Phil F. I. L. My tick tock is the same handle and your listeners will get a 10% discount with the code Rob and Josh 26 and that's capital R and J. Thank you for the support on the last day. 60 relatable. Are you relatable these days? Who knows? We can only be what we are. That's from Phil. Good luck. Phil curated by Phil. Really good. I'm going to go down the bottom. Here we go. Here we go. A bit of blue. Hi, Rob and Josh, you sexy pair. I'm Emma and mum of one sassy three year old and after being made redundant shortly after returning from maternity leave, I decided to finally take the plunge, follow my lifelong dream of running my own creative business. I've launched enchanted albums, sorry, design personalized theme photo albums of kids' parties. Good idea. So if your kid is having a Disney Princess party, a Spider-Man party, a bluey bash or anything in between, the album will match the theme of the party. Turns all those chaotic, magical eye-synx smeared moments into a gorgeous keepsake, families can treasure forever. To celebrate starting this new chapter and surviving toddler negotiations, I'm offering 10% off for all parenting health listeners. If you want to turn your camera on carnage and something beautiful, you can find me. Enchanted albums at outlook.com. Excellent idea and I'm sure that I'll appeal to lots of our listeners. That's Emma 456 months. Thank you very much. Emma, cheers, Josh, it's been fun. I'll see you next time. I've just sent that to you guys. Oh my god, that gift is good. That's a good gift. That was so scary. And that will hopefully find you on Instagram, aren't it Michael? Good bye.