S1 EP6: How to Deal With a Break Up

[Music] Hi guys! Welcome to another episode, Happy Tuesday! Happy Tuesday, how are we doing today? I hope we're all having a great start of the week. Yeah. Well, technically yesterday the week started, but you know, we're getting into the flow of the week. This episode is going to be all about how to get over a breakup. That's going to be a tough one. Yeah, which is an eyeball type experience. Yeah. Well, you know, we're going to dig deep in this one. Yeah. It's a really good one. Yeah, we're going to go harder out. We have a lot to talk about and also Mouse is joined to Salt My Seek because she likes this topic. She's probably had her fair share of breakup. That's what I mean. That's what I mean. So, whenever I go on a trip, it's basically a breakup. Yeah. That's like dumping her at a friend's house. Of course, it's good. Yeah. In any case, so we have a question of the week. Which? This week. The question of the week is, and actually I'm curious as to what you think. How long do you think it takes you to a breakup? Like personally, what would your opinion on it be? So I think I looked it up and a general rule of thumb is six months. Yeah. Which is like a good, like sort of, you know, time frame and like sort of template. But like I think it's different for everyone. I think personally, everyone has their own timeline for sure. It also depends how long your relationship was, how intense it was. How many people it was. Did you have future plans? And was he supposed to be like your future husband? Yeah. Did you speak about marriage already? This also depends, it also depends with age. It's almost impossible to say, I think. Exactly. I don't think there's a rule. I think it differs. No. The rule is, what was your relationship? How did you guys? Yeah. But for me, I think like, I also heard, I didn't hear six. I heard eight. But I heard that. There was like a rule of months and then you could finally be in the same room as them and not worry. But I honestly think in my past relationships, I for sure would have been in the room with them after a year and been like, yeah, like that's a bit close to home. Like not sure about that. Yeah. I once heard there was a rule, your relationship, divided by two. Like the time that you were together divided by two. That sounds more likely to me. It sounds very likely, but also I feel like if it's a very serious relationship, you almost never get over it kind of thing. That's the thing. I don't know. Obviously it depends from person to person, but with me. Once I love someone, I will probably love you forever. Yeah. I mean, like, I'm thinking now, not like in love, but I will always love like, love for you. No, I have love for you. Yeah. And I think if Sam and I worship for some horrible reason breakup now, that would be three years. It would take me like, oh my god. And I don't really, I honestly don't even think three years from now, I'd want to be like, and you know, you just never know. You never know until you try it out, which I hope most people don't have to do that. Yeah, please. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I would say to be honest, out of my own experience, I've had, well, my most serious relationship was my longest relationship. And first I was like, wow, half the time we're in the relationship. Like this will take me half my 20s. Yeah. But honestly, like I agree, like the longer it takes, I'm like, no, like I can, I can see that. Yeah. Maybe not exactly half, but close to. Yeah. It's not, it's definitely an overnight thing. And it's definitely not a, it definitely takes time. Except number forever. No. Like it's individual. It shouldn't focus on like, oh, I should be fine in six months. There's no, so there's no deadline when it comes to heartbreak for sure or getting over someone. I think you will always, there always be a moment in your life when you really love someone that you'll go back to being like, oh, I remember that time with them. Yeah. That experience we shared or that lesson we learned or whatever. Like you always relate back to them in one way or another. Yeah. And that's like, not always a bad thing. No. I think sometimes it's a good thing. I agree. So. Okay. So let's go into our first topic. So basically I wanted to talk about advice for dealing with a breakup, how to actually get over someone. So these first steps, like how do you actually get over this person? Like what are your thoughts? And the first initial like breakups happened or someone cheated on one another or whatever it may be. Yeah. I think for me, like in my experience, what I've done is, and I honestly, I didn't do it immediately when it happened, but what I would give advice is someone if they are going through a breakup is do not go to their Instagram. Like just don't know. No. I have the worst thing. I have the same advice, like really cut all contact. Yeah. Like don't do it to yourself. That's what I realized. I was doing it literally every day like twice, three times a day like, oh, what are they up to? And then I just realized like, why am I doing this to myself? I am literally making myself cry. Making myself, I can even blame them because it was me doing it. Like fine, they can go off and be a dick and do whatever they want and like making up set by posting whatever, whatever it may be, but why would I put myself through like looking at it? Like I don't need to look. I literally don't have to look. And once I finally like had the willpower to not do that, I'm over in two months. Yeah. So true. Yeah. So true. It's so like, it's a mind game. It's so tempting to see what they're doing because obviously you still care. Yeah. You just see what they're up to. Exactly. But again, you need to trick your mind. We talk about this all the time. Sometimes you just have to trick your own brain and just like be harsh to yourself. I swear to God, just unfollow them. I'm following them on Instagram. Every day of public, then block them. Yeah. You shouldn't want to know what they're up to. Like it's not of your business anymore. You're only going to hurt yourself. Yeah. If they're posting stuff or doing stuff, maybe in real life, that's upsetting you. I guess that's where it comes in. If they're not doing things that upset you, then whatever. But don't look again because you know what you're going to find. Yeah. You're going to see things you don't like. So just block the person. Like if it's a person in your confrante room, just tell your friends, please don't tell them to me. I don't want to know. Yeah. A lot of my friends now, and even my sister, like if I say stuff to my friends that they're like, I don't need to know that I'm like, you're right. Like why? I don't need to tell you. Like I don't want to bring things up that upset you about a different situation. I'm not even involved in. I'm just looking out for your best interests or whatever. I will let it, like if it's my friends will literally say to me, like don't say that to me. Like just don't, I don't need to hear about that. Yeah. My sister does it the most because she can tell me straight up, like I don't need to hear that. Yeah. But it's true. It's better. Yeah, I'd rather not hear. It makes me happier to know. Because I know like some people when they break up, they're like, ah, like I want to, you know, part ways and peace. Or I want to still want to be friends or whatever, which by the way we're going to talk about later. But I don't think if there are many feelings involved, there's no such thing. If you're going to be friends, it's not going to be now. It's going to be any years to this time. Like first, you need to focus on yourself and just like focus on your own healing process. And that's not like, you need to accept the fact that you're not with this person anymore. Yeah. So you should have them in your life anymore because they're not. So just block them. Yeah. And equally like, I like how we're saying this question is like how did you go with a break up? Maybe you've broken up with them and then the roles are completely switched. Don't put them through the struggle of like constantly like going back to them or constantly like posting things to upset them. Yeah. Like be respectful. Yeah, just the borderline rule is to be respectful. Yeah. And you had so much love for each other. And even for yourself, like even if you're the one who broke up, you're still used to being with that person. Like it's still going to hurt you in some way. I always like for both parties. I really believe that. Breaking up with someone and being broken up with our just as hard. Like if you really love someone, neither easy to do. Like they're both really. Yeah. And they're also really hard situations to be in post break up. Yeah. Like it's really, it's not easy. Oh, it's definitely not. I think, yeah. A lot of people like think that, oh, just because you broke up with me, like it's, you know, not hard for you, but that's not true. Exactly, I agree. Yeah. So then the second tip that I had was don't fight your feelings. Just discuss your feelings, cry it out. Like there's no need for you to be like, I need to be a strong woman or a strong man or whatever. Like no, just feel what you feel except your feelings let it all in, cry it out. Yeah, because crying always makes you feel better. Exactly. A tip I had was to really keep yourself busy. I mean, that's like everyone sets up. That's so true. If you're busy, you don't really have much time. And I know you should like process things and think about things. But once you've done that and then you're just like, okay, now what? Like just be busy, like be so busy. Like the little thing like, I don't care. Plan the whole day. Do all of your errands every day. And just be busy. I know. Like, be busy as you can be. Don't give yourself too much time to think. Yeah. Like as I said, you need to process. If you want to cry, give yourself one day to cry. Yeah. And then the next day, pick yourself back up and go on with your life. Yeah. Like just try to. But also with the topic of keeping yourself busy, keep yourself busy with healthy things. Yeah, for sure. Don't go out partying all the time. Don't go out partying. Don't go down that rabbit hole. Of course, you're going to go out way more than usual when you just broke up. Like when you're just single, it's like, yeah. I think it's like how you, when you are going through hard times, maybe it's not appropriate, it could be anything. How you self-medicate is like so important. Like don't self-medicate with alcohol or drugs or food like whatever. Like don't take on unhealthy coping mechanisms like drinking or like, I mean, even worse, like please don't do that. No, exactly. Because with that, you're not going to heal. You're just hurting yourself. Yeah. Like you'll still have to do with the problems at the end of your cycle. Yeah, exactly. Whenever that comes. Exactly. find healthy. things to prioritize yourself with. And also get a routine. Yeah, a routine to keep yourself busy, get a routine. I think that's good as well. And also like, because it's harder set than done, like, oh, keep yourself busy. Like don't think about the person. But I think a very good tip. And I actually heard this once on another podcast. So it was a psychologist. And she basically said you need to list 25 benefits of why it's beneficial for you not to be with that person. Basically like 25 benefits of not being with that person. And then you-- yeah, like not really a pros and cons list, because I feel like you make the pros and cons list before you break up. You know what I mean? What if they break up with you? Yeah, true. They break up with you. I know. Then wait a minute first. Yeah, true. But I feel like pros and cons is like, you know, then you can still focus on the pros. I can not focus on 25 benefits of not being with that person. That's true. And I think that was a really great tip. And I did that myself, because let's be honest, relationship takes a lot of time. And believe me, 25 benefits seem a lot. Like 25 things to list. Seem a lot of things, but you will get there. Yeah. So I think that's a great tip as well. Like focus on the good things that you have now. Yeah, that's very good. Not only your bad. For sure. It's good. Yeah, it's a good tip. OK, so speaking of the list of benefits of being single, we thought it would be a great second topic of basically the importance of being single and seeing the good and being single. Yeah. Like being a happy single-pringle. Single-pringle. Single-pringle. Single-pringle-life. Like single and thriving. Yeah, because there's a lot of good things. Yeah. It's not always a negative thing. Exactly. So many people see single as being a bad thing. Yeah. But I actually-- Yeah, but I actually think it's great. I think maybe when you've been single for like a really long time, like you're actually looking for a boyfriend, like you're still single, I could see why people-- some of my friends, like you as like a bad thing. Yeah. But when you're newly single and you say you've been in a relationship for a long time, like you've never been single, like I really feel like there's a huge importance of being single for a bit of your life, especially when you're young. Yeah, I agree. Because that's how you build who you are. Exactly. Like literally who you are. If you won't love yourself, how do you expect someone to love you? And like you need to know who you are before you go looking for a partner in life, because how the hell do you know what you're looking for if you don't even know who you are? Exactly. So sure. I feel like your relationship with yourself truly is. And I know it sounds so cliche. But like it really is true. Like the older I become, the more I realize and live it myself, the relationship with yourself is the most important one. Because that's the only consistent relationship that you'll have for the rest of your life. You cannot get rid of yourself. No. Like you will wake up with yourself and go to bed with yourself every single day for the rest of your life. So you better like the person you are. Yeah. No, it's very true. And like you can never switch off with your friends. If they're being annoying, you're like whatever. Like I just don't reply to your text or whatever airplane mode. Your brain, the voice inside of your head never goes away. No. Like it's there. It's always talking to you. So you really need to have a good healthy balance relationship with yourself. Yeah. That way you can give that to your friends family. Exactly. And I feel like a part of breaking up and getting over someone is to relearn how to love yourself. For sure. Because obviously a lot of people come out of a relationship lost and lost. Yeah. And lost and completely lost since of who they are. Exactly. And when you're in a relationship, especially for a long time, you mold together with other person. It's so true. You become one person. Yeah. And like you compromise in things that you used to like. He used to like-- And then you adjust yourself. Yeah. It's just how it is. But when you become single, you kind of get to refind-- Like, oh, what do I actually like? Yeah. So basically, when you're in a relationship with someone, you can't help thinking, also thinking in their best interests. Like whenever you make a choice, you kind of also do it based on your significant other's best interests. Yeah. You always thinking about them. Yeah. So it slightly tweaks your personality. Like it must. It's not a negative thing. Of course. Then when you're single, you're like, who the fuck am I? Yeah. You have no one to answer to. So like, yeah. Enjoy that time. So benefits have been single, shoot. Well, I think one of the-- For the importance of being single. Yeah, I think one of the important slash beneficial things of being single is you have no one to answer to. Like, fine, you might be home and dad or whatever. But like, when you're in a relationship, you are constantly texting like, oh, I'm doing this. I'm doing-- you always have someone to tell where you're going, what you're doing, what your plans are. And when you're single, it's so great. Because you just-- Yeah. That doesn't-- that doesn't exist. You're like-- Oh, great. Like, so that's a huge thing. And also relying on someone financially or emotionally or physically or whatever it might be. All of the time, your whole life is so unhealthy. And it's so unhealthy. And you need to be able to spend time on your own. And also enjoy your own time. I love-- like, we've said this before. We love our own alone time. Like, yeah. I love spending time with myself. Yeah. And if you can't do that, I think that something you really shouldn't make a near school and be able to do because it's so important. I know so many people who cannot spend one night on their own. They just can't do that spot. And it's scary and it's sad. And it's sad even. It's really sad because they're going to become a time when we're not on our 20s. And people have families. And you can't call up your friend to go to a night club. You can't do that anymore. Because you're friends will also have families alone. They have to be cooking the children dinner. They have to get their children ready for school. They're not going to be able to hang out with you. Yeah. You need to be able to be on your own. Yeah, I agree. I think that's so important. You need to-- I think the most important thing of dealing with a breakup and being single again is focus on yourself. Focus on your self-care. Like you said, your mental health, your career, your social life. Because when you're in a relationship, as you said, it kind of all merges together. And maybe your social life is more his social life. Yeah. Because girls tend to more go to the guy maybe sometimes. So yeah, you need to focus on yourself. And go to life for yourself. I maintain that. Exactly. I was going to say, don't let that disappear whenever you-- Whenever you meet someone else. No, maintain. Third in your lesson. So obviously, you're dealing with a breakup and you sort of feel like, oh, shit, I need to be single. How do I be single again? Don't let yourself end up in this situation again. That's one thing, I learned after my last relationship, going into this new one. I'm like, yeah, OK, I still did a little bit of it. But I definitely made sure I maintained my own life. Because I didn't want to feel like that again. Exactly. Because also, as you said, some girls or boys are very emotionally dependent or financially dependent or whatever dependent in some way of their partner. And that's actually not a good thing. Like, learn how to be dependent just on yourself. Yeah. So you can, like, if you have to one day be like, bye. Yeah. Like, you shouldn't take a partner to fill up a void that you have. You should take a partner to complement you. Not to complete you. For sure. Yeah. You don't want to need someone. You want to want someone. Yeah, exactly. You should never need someone. You don't have a friend, a boyfriend, whatever, a child, a dog. Yeah. You should just want to have it. Because it's complementing you. Exactly. Yeah. Because else you're going to get emotionally dependent and it's not good. No. Also, in the meanwhile, while you focus on yourself, this is also something that I have, you need to self-reflect. And you need to work on yourself. For example, if you always go for a certain type of guy, that's for example, like a toxic guy or a bad boy. Yeah, or like, for example, the narcissist. If you always tend to go for this type of boy or girl, why do you do that? Like, really think deep inside yourself? Try something new. This is going to be soul searching. Like, think, why am I always trying to do this type of person? What void am I trying to fill with this type of person? And what can I do to fill that void for myself? So I'm not, again, emotionally dependent on these type of people. For sure. That's great advice. So yeah, like, first try to fill the void yourself to avoid going for the same person again. That's going to cause the same issue. Exactly. Because then you're going into an ongoing spiral. Yeah. And then if you are completely content with yourself, again, after a lot of self-reflecting, soul searching, whatever you want, like, working on yourself, because very in mind, none of us are perfect. No, exactly. We all have some things that we can work on. You and me, including. Yeah. Obviously, maybe you're always perfect for me. But you know what I mean? Like, we all have our bad sides. And like, we have to be honest about that. So yeah, like, just be the best version of yourself. And then when you are completely as complete as you want to be, you will find the right person. Yeah. They will come at the right time. Exactly. When you're ready. And you will not keep on attracting these-- Negative individuals. Individuals for yourself. Yeah, I know. So that's also a big tip I have. By the way, wait, I forgot to say this. This applies to the serial data. Well, girl. Yeah, you know, girls or boys that always have the need to date someone. Yeah. I am almost guilty of this. But-- No, you're not, though. I feel like I'm not. No, I'm not. No, I just had long relationships. Why do all these people constantly have the need to date someone else? So obviously, because they have a void. For sure. Yeah. They're insecure. And they're like-- Or they can't be on their own. They don't-- like, literally, cannot spend a night on their own. Yeah, but that's wrong. So you-- It's scary. Yeah, so you first have to be happy with yourself. Else, you'll always have to emotionally depend on another person. You have people. You have people that are introverts and extroverts, which I get. I totally get that. But I know people who are extroverts who still like their nights in. They don't always like that. I know. I know. Introverts and extroverts are extroverts. Exactly. You're like both. Oh, yeah. I feel like you're both-- I think I'm both. I think we're both-- similar in that way. I love being alone, but I also like I'm not gonna I don't have social anxiety like I love going out on the other yeah talking to someone like yeah yeah so I don't think like just because you're an extrovert means like I have people use that excuse as to why they are always in a relationship oh I love being around people I'm an extrovert no my god it's not true it's just something be honest with yourself yeah so there's like it's because there's a voice that you want to fill yeah so work work on yourself about that because else you're gonna track the wrong people in your life and then you're gonna be stuck in a relationship one day because you have a child with a person the really really that's the next level I really I'm putting it to the next level but it's true so work on yourself ladies this is the time it's not really ready it's now or never I mean I know for example when I mean not so much now but when I was single I made the most amazing friends like you really have you have time for like so much more that you don't have time for when you're in a relationship with your partner that it's just you know it's great to build those relationships while you can and like obviously hold on for them when you get into relationship there's a reason why they say flourish being single and I've never heard the saying being like your flourish in a relationship it's not a term and there's a reason for it but I do think flourish when being like in your own person and this is a guy like this kind of goes with focusing on yourself but it's so true I made my very best friends when you think though it's great yeah came closer the moment I became single yeah you just like because you know it is kind of hard to like it sounds so silly but a lot of my friends that I've made while I'm in a relationship that are like good friends of mine they're all single yeah it's not very common for me to make a best friend that's in a relationship as well yeah because they're busy I'm saying it's kind of like one someone needs to give a little you know so true but it's um it does happen but you know it's I I loved being I think you should really run with it and do everything you know you're not going to be able to do when you find someone just like I find like because you need to remember which was another thing I wanted to say being single you shouldn't see it as like a waiting period until you get another boyfriend because that's really bad you should see it as a happy period yeah this is your time to shine this is all about you you don't have anyone to like answer to answer to yeah it's my reason but also like it doesn't like I'm saying in the sense that like oh it ends whenever you get into a relationship like that's not how you should view it like it actually shouldn't end like you should build this time becoming the person you want to be and then stay that person and like if someone compliments you great if they don't like that's not the person yeah don't don't waste your time like literally pick someone who's going to slot perfectly into your life yes you have come right into the long the way but you shouldn't have to change the fundamental things you love about yourself no like that just should never change no and like while you're single you should make the best time out of it because as you said you have so much time now to do things you didn't have time to like you don't have time for in a relationship yeah through this you probably will figure out what you want to do in life when you're single 100% because you find out who you are when you're single yeah you will discover a lot of things you will discover a whole lot more things when you're single yeah then when you're really really and you really surprise yourself as well I think really like I surprise why it's I I remember when I was like became really single and I thought I've I've worked it all out I figured my entire you know like I was like well yeah really starting to understand things more it's like it's almost like reliving like it makes you feel alive like in a way like I it's horrible going through a break up but also you have one so like start to get over it and once you realize and you have like these you have these little magical moments where you're like yeah I feel really good I know what I want to do and it's like yeah yeah yeah good thing as well you you really will realize like oh my god I could have never done this if I yeah wouldn't have been single if I was in a relationship there's so many positives like come out of it as well so much so much um also what I have like a little tip that I have on literally thriving when you're single is set like a couple of goals for yourself so again like again what's focusing on yourself just set a couple of goals and yeah we set this already like focus on the things you didn't have time to do when you're in a relationship maybe do a vision board yeah vision boards are good and then after a while after six months even though because probably you'll still hurt you'll still cry from time to time I mean it's a process like breaking up is not a straight line it's ups and downs yeah it doesn't happen overnight exactly but girl I promise you in six months you that's why I'm telling you write them down make a vision board do something in six months you will look back at those goals you will look back at your vision board yeah you will realize holy fucking shit come along I ticked off like a quarter of these yeah I really do think writing things down they're like going back and you will see your progress and it will be so satisfying you'll be like oh my god and it will give you so much happiness and so much drive to just like do more continue to do it yeah exactly because I do that now with like my big business goals are my big personal goals I write them on my notes on my phone usually before the end of the year and then I review them the next year and I'm like I actually did do that or like my vision board on my my computer like silly things like yeah I had zero clue yeah and I would go to Paris this year zero yeah zero fucking no plan but I thought my full my full star no idea why did I just saw it on Pinterest it's like so it's so here we are we did a whole Paris Fashion Week like it's so weird manifestations of real thing I think it's really good also for like the girlies that are in a happy relationship it's so good to like do it on like new years which also we're gonna make a whole episode about yes but also I also feel when you become single it's also great thing to do a vision board that's what I did just anyone in general to do it like yeah even if you like maybe you don't care to have a relationship ever like whatever that's fine yeah do it for this side do it for you know your own self-side like there's so many different reasons to do it or like even if you only want to do it for one week so you have like something coming up like but the end of the year is great because you get to set goals for the whole year and remind yourself yeah anyways we'll get into that and we'll get into that another time new topic really try it let us know what you think and we'll give our best vision board tips in another episode so then the last topic that we wanted to discuss is is it realistic this is quite this is gonna be quite controversial is it realistic just say friends with an ex what do you think Millie I think no unfortunately I know people have different views but like yeah I've just don't think so yeah because even like say you both move on so say for example Sam my boyfriend and his ex have moved on right like I would hope right yeah I'm sorry I'm not gonna be happy if they're friends like I would feel weird uncomfortable so then like it doesn't worry it still doesn't work like moving on like yeah say Sam and I get married next tomorrow yeah I'm sorry why I'm not having his accent are like it's just weird it's weird thing there's so many more different like angles it's not just you and them I definitely think it's something personal as well it comes from different angles of people like it's not just you in the part the X or whatever like there's other people involved that's feelings are involved and it's like it's just complicated like I tried it didn't work definitely didn't work for me I'm trying to it didn't work it just doesn't work like let's see we're only in our late mid-20s late we were not like Mitch we're only in our mid-20 so it's like maybe we're a bit older things will have changed and like maybe we can be but like from where I'm sitting if I think about me when I'm 35 and have children I do not want my boyfriend's ex like well no or like at lunch with us like that's weird I agree I think well yeah I actually I have something interesting to say about that because with one of my exes well it is now an ex as well back when I dated him he was friends with most of his exes and I thought that was really weird but then so he was older than me and I always was like oh like this is a red flag whatever whatever but like I guess it was just like respecting the time that they had and like they lived in the same city so it just said hi like they wouldn't meet one to one because that would be disrespectful towards me you know what I mean but they like I would always be cautious about it obviously because I wouldn't feel comfortable if they're constantly texting because then I'd be like hey would you want to be with her or me yeah I know what I mean but I I understand that they like respect the time that they spent together because he was friends with an ex that he was with for like five years what can I say about that you know what I mean like it's just like respecting the time they had together and the occasional like hey how are you yeah like if like a big event would happen like there was something that happened that like affected well I'm not gonna disclose too much I know we mean like some similar so I will say they were like hey I hope you're okay you know what I mean like occasionally checking up on each other like that I would hate each other no but I don't think you're gonna be different no there's a no no no I think there's a difference between being on good terms and being best friends they were not best friends they were on good terms yeah I don't think you have a best friend hate each other yeah the best friends I don't think that's possible I think this is why it's so hard to be friends with an ex because once you loved someone so deeply, truly, whatever you want to call it is really hard to unlove them. Like do you ever unlove them? I think you always thought you always tell memories and like. Exactly. You always like carry a little piece of them in your heart. And that's not a negative or a positive thing. It's just like the way it is. So that's why I think because there were once upon a time so many feelings involved, it's just not possible to be as friends. Even though you might move on from like loving them in that way, you still love them. I think if you would get back into the habit of hearing them on a daily basis, love would grow back. Like you found love once. You chances are you might fall in love with them. But this is why I mean I've had that happen to me. This is why I don't. This is why I'm not friends with my exes because. Exactly. This is why you should cut all contact. Yeah. I mean I've had a situation where I've been away from love. That's why you'll never move on. And then I'm in front of them again and I'm like, "Oh my God, I love you again." Because yeah, because you're making like a full 20-hrower. It's true reminisce on the feelings that you once had. It's normal. Yeah. It's normal. Yeah, it's really hard. So I think like yes in the sense like you can be friends with an ex like superficial friends. Like, "Hey, how are you? Occasional." Just watch it. You know? Exactly. The best friends if feelings were really involved. No. Yeah. Like you can't. I agree. Yeah, so I think that sort of for me like covers everything about like being friends with an ex. Like I don't, it doesn't work for me, but I think everyone's different. Yeah, I'm different. Yeah. I wouldn't be able to be friends with an ex unless. No, ailing is involved. Then it was like a two-month release ship where you were like, "You know what? This was a mistake. Let's just be friends." Sure it works. But if true feelings were involved, no, no. It's just not easy. No, it's not easy. But yeah, that is the whole episode guys. Well, that was like, I feel like that was really fast. Do you think we could advise? I think we could advise. Yeah. I hope so. I mean like we both have like genuine experience in this. Yeah. Many. Sorry if this episode was a bit chaotic because I feel like we were just bouncing our ideas off of each other. But also we were a bit passionate because it's like literally our lives. Yeah. It's like it's honest. But I hope you guys learned like learned a way of coping with whatever situation you might find yourself in today. Like being single is a great thing and like, you know, being friends with an ex is like a common problem people have as well. So I hope we gave you some good advice. Before we end the episode, I'm going to give five silly benefits of being single. Okay. I'm going to let you do this because I do not know. This is literally things that I wrote down back. Okay, go for it. You have the whole bed for yourself. Wow. That's actually, see? Let's be honest. You sleep better when you're by yourself. Oh my god. That's great. I love that one. Nice one. You can eat what you want. I was going to say that when you want. And only for yourself you have to cook for people. What are you feeling? Bitch, what am I feeling? Yeah. What would you, what's, what's for dinner? No, bitch, one of my coming home. One do I want to eat. Love it. Love it. Oh my god, that's so good. You can be as messy as you want. Messy's great one. You're very messy. You may now be free of criticism and you can wear whatever you want. Just as we all know that it's care. What's that? Those are all great. Those are all things that like actually being in a long relationship I will say like I would really love like all of them. And you have your own schedule. Yeah. No answer to you. What's now going on? I forgot my key. No such thing. That's our food. There's no key. Oh my god. Yeah, if you heard about that, that's good. I think that's time to wrap up the episode. Yeah, we can't wait to be too next time. Yes, thank you so much for listening. If you have any further dilemmas, please write them in. Email us. DM us on Instagram. It's a girls' world podcast and we'll see you guys next time. Bye. Thank you.