S:3 E:39 - GSI Short #1 - AI might be able to save Marriages.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Geeky Sexual Intellectual. I am your host, Q, and I think I'm here to record a GSI short. So basically what shorts are is when I find something online or on Reddit or it was an Instagram post or TikTok that said something that was very intriguing to me. So this in particular was a Reddit story that I saw and it was posted in, what is it, r backslash marriage. So basically it is titled AI on the perfect marriage. So someone took and analyzed 1000 of posts on Reddit in the r backslash marriage and ran it through AI. And here is what or. Or how to be a perfect partner. So there's going to be some hashtags throughout the post and I'll let you know when that comes through. The hashtags mean implements, I'm sorry, elements of being an excellent partner. OK, so the first topic is number one, communication is fundamental. So the bullet points are listen actively without defensiveness. Discuss issues before they become. Major problems, express your needs clearly but respectfully, avoid stonewalling and shutting down during difficult conversations, don't postpone important conversations, especially about intimacy and relationship concerns, though that AI, AI is cooking on that first, just the first subject. OK, so subject number two is financial responsibility and transparency. This is probably one of. The top reasons for divorce. OK, so first bullet point, be honest about finances and spending, make major financial decisions together, contribute fairly, whether equal or proportional to income, create a clear system for managing shared expenses that both partners understand, plan together for financial goals and emergencies. That is perfect because I don't believe a lot of people even go into marriage. Talking about finances, whether that being how much they have in the bank, how much debt they have, what that debt looks like and how many years it will take them each to pay them off. And it'd probably be quicker if they paid each other's debt off together in the financial method of snowballing or avalanching. So that was that was pretty good. The next topic, topic number three, is emotional presence and support. First bullet point. Show genuine interest in your partner's feelings. Offer support during difficult times, especially health challenges. Be vulnerable about your own emotions. Recognize when your partner needs space versus connection. Validate your partner's concern rather than dismissing them. That is super because people get complacent and then all of this gets lost in the minutia of every day. Life versus marriage and then you just like living with a with a roommate or what have you. But no, I always check in and show the other person that you are concerned for them. You support them. And yeah, OK, so topic number four, physical intimacy and affection. This is a big one. It's right up there with finances. OK, bullet point number one is understand that intimacy. Needs. Hold on, let me start that back over. Understand that intimacy needs evolve. OK, I'm just I don't know why I'm not serving a sentence right. Take three. Understand that intimacy needs. Why do I keep doing this? I had it right and then I messed it up again. Take four. Understand that intimacy needs evolve and require ongoing communication. Show affection regularly, not just when seeking sex. Respect boundaries while keeping the connection alive. Address mismatched libido's openly and without shame. And the last bullet point, be attentive to changes in intimacy patterns and discuss them compassionately. Yes, because throughout just a relationship, any type of romantic relationship is going to be ebbs and flows. Depending on your age. Especially forties and fifties and sixties, there's a lot going on chemically and physically within the human body. And that thing sometimes I'll be jumping for everybody at the same rate. So, yes, I always stay open with that because a lot of that, you know, miscommunications or just keeping it in leads to infidelity and separation because people don't want to be in a relationship just to feel alone. OK, so topic number five. Share responsibilities equally. Bullet number one. Take initiative with household tasks without being asked. Recognize invisible labor, i.e. planning, organizing, remembering. Set up with child care as a full partner, not a helper. Yes. Oh, my God. OK, moving on. Be adaptable when circumstances change, especially with children or health issues. Don't expect praise for doing your fair share. Yes, because I've been seeing a lot of TikTok videos going viral of women recording themselves talking with their spouses that just come home from working all day and play video games or don't help with putting the child down for the night or feedings or bathings. And the women are just like crying out in their partners is just not acceptable to their pain or their request or even just to sit down and be flexible about what their needs are. OK. So, yes, I've been seeing a lot of TikTok videos going viral of women recording themselves talking with their spouses that just come home from working all day and play video games or don't help with putting the child down for the night or feedings or bathings and the women are just like crying out in their partners is just not acceptable to their pain or the request or even just to sit down and be flexible about what their needs are, which is really. And I understand people that work all day are tired when they get home, but people that are stay home parents, they just not living it up and got their feet kicked up. Like one woman is explaining, yes, the baby did take two to three naps while the baby's taking a nap. I'm cleaning the house. I'm folding the clothes. I'm making sure that dinner is prepared by the time you get home. And that doesn't account for the time I haven't had any time for myself even to take a shower or, you know, put on a makeup or do my nails, whatever. So let's see the next topic of conversation. Number six, maintain trust and fidelity. Be transparent with social media and phone usage. Set appropriate boundaries with others, including work colleagues. Avoid situations that could compromise trust. Honor commitments consistently. When trust is broken, actively work to rebuild it. Yes, that is, you know, don't beat around the bush. Give everybody time to, you know, let the flames dissipate. But, you know, get back on that horse and, you know, let's work this thing out. Because the more time that laps, it makes it more awkward or difficult, you know, just to, like I said, rebuild. Topic number seven, support personal growth. Encourage your partner's growth and interests. Make space for individual identity within the marriage. Grow together through shared experiences. Accept that people evolve over time. Celebrate your partner's achievements genuinely. I love that because I've been seeing something else going on virally where people are like, you ever date your own hater? Like, damn. Like, they don't want to champion your successes. They're not happy for you when, you know, you get promotions or whatever. You started that business and it blew up and they're just not happy for you. Like, that is some next level weird shit. Like, ooh. Sleeping right next to my own hater seems like some horror type shit. But, yes. Oh, my God. So, let's move along. Topic number eight, show appreciation constantly. I'm sorry, consistently. Same thing. But point number one, express gratitude regularly for both small and large things. Notice and acknowledge efforts. Celebrate accomplishments, both big and small. Remember important dates and preferences. Don't take your partner's contributions for granted. Yes. I love all of that. That should really be like a poster. This whole thing should be a poster. It should be like a contract that everybody signs at the end of like relationship counseling, like couples counseling or at the courthouse when you go to get your license. Topic number nine is prioritize the relationship. Bullet point number one says make quality time together. A regular commitment. Don't let work, children, or extended family consistent. I'm sorry. Let me reread all that. Don't let work, children, or extended family consistently come first. Invest in the relationship through date nights and shared activities. Check in regularly about relationship satisfaction. Be willing to postpone personal wants for relationship needs when appropriate. Oh, top tier. All of that was top tier because some people don't realize when you get married, yes, you may love and adore your family. they are not always first place when you are married. Topic number 10, navigate challenges together. Appropriate problems, I'm sorry, approach problems as a team. Be willing to seek help when needed, therapy or counseling. Support each other through life transitions, including parenthood. Maintain perspective during stressful times. Handle extended family issues as a united front. Oh, that last one. I heard so many stories where people just like, well, that's your family. That's her family. I don't fuck with them. Letting a family step inside the marriage and tell them what they're not doing or what they should be doing or just disrespecting the in-law. It's crazy. It's wild. All right. Topic number 11, respect each other's space and independence. Understand the need for support. Personal time and hobbies. Balance togetherness with healthy independence. Respect personal boundaries. Allow your partner time to recharge. Ensure both partners get breaks, especially with childcare responsibilities. And this topic is just keep everybody, you know, sane and don't feel like they're being overwhelmed and are appreciated and aren't looked at as like the slave to the family. So I love all of that. I love those points. And our last topic of conversation, number 12, adapt to life changes together. Support each other through healthy changes. I'm sorry, health challenges. Support each other through health challenges. Adjust expectations during pregnancy and after childbirth. Navigate career changes as a team. Grow and evolve together as you age. Face major life transitions with patience and understanding. I like that. I like that because that's just, you know, the flow of the relationship, the beginning, the middle, and, you know, as we transition on to the next life. I like that a lot. The last little tidbit that I put in here, remember that great marriages require continuous effort from both partners. No one gets it right all the time, but committing to growth, respect, and love creates a foundation for a fulfilling partnership. Oh, my God, that was beautiful. See, AI isn't all the devil. It's just how people decide to use it. And I think this was an amazing way to use this tool because, oh, my God, it's like, I don't know what's going on right now. Like, people just, they angry, they lonely, but they want to be together, but they don't want to be together. Everybody's hurt. And it's just a nonstop back and forth war. And the war seems like it's extra fueled maybe because, you know, because of, you know, TikTok, the access that we have to platforms. To see this on a constant basis. That's what I mean. But, oh, my God, I just, I just want people to just figure it out and go get therapy and print this out and put it in their back pockets because you can use this in everyday life with all the important relationships in your life, especially romantic relationships that you'd hope to marry this person one day. So that is my GSI short for today. Please share this. Talk to your friends and family about it. Get their perspectives on it. And, you know, leave me a comment. Comment below and let me know, you know, if I missed anything. And if you think it's just spot on and this could save, you know, marriages, future marriages. It's like the training wheels to help everyone have a beautiful marriage or relationship, cohabitating relationship. So, all right, y'all, let me know what you think. This is just on my heart. All right. Keep it geeky, sexual and intellectual. And I'll see y'all next time.