- You two are bad friends. - You are these two idiots. - Wooo, I did an Asian dinner. You two are disgusting. - Oh, you two are something. - We're bad friends. - Probably one of the funnest birthday parties I've ever been to. - Was it one of the most fun birthday parties you've ever done? - Yeah. - There's Chef Yoon right there. - He was out of pocket. - What did he do? He didn't do anything wrong. - Did you try to squirt stuff in my mouth? - Well, he had a socky squirt gun. - Yeah. - He had a little socky squirt gun. Show the socky squirt gun. Let me like the, there's Max getting it right in the mouth. - Yeah, yeah. - That had socky and super socky. Super socky, by the way, invented by a black guy we learned. Stolen by a white guy. - Wow. - We learned that. - But show the one of me, he let me like the grill on fire. Huge. More and more, he kept yelling. - Oh. - And then he goes, socky squirt gun and he unloads maybe 16 ounces of-- - Wait, wait, he started the palisades fire. - It's actually you. - Oh, you. - You and you and you. - Yeah. - He hits himself in the face. He has flaming rods and he hits himself clean in the face. Not once there, but he does it twice. He did it right after this. Do it again. Right in the face. Twice. - But I told him three times, I go, I'm sober. The fourth time, he was like, you want to relapse? - He didn't listen. - Relax work on. - He was so fun. That guy was one of the most fun times I've ever had in my entire life. - I was threatened by him. - You loved him. - I made an announcement, remember? I go, don't replace him with me. - I said, are you busy? Do you want to do a podcast? - Because he had real good energy. - Very comedic timing. - Yeah, good comedic timing. I've been a little off lately. - There's me getting squirted, wow, what a silhouette. Looks like someone's pissing in my mouth. Internet, take this and run with it. - Yeah. - Take this and run with it. Carlos also did not get squirted in the mouth. Carlos, of course, is a-- It's our Halloween. It's our spooky Halloween episode. - Ooh. - You get a Halloween song prepared, Bob? - Huh? (humming) (humming) (humming) - I'm ready earlier. - Oh, I'm not-- no, I'm doing the beat. (humming) Let's see who goes for it. (humming) - Scary, hollow, scary, hollow, in, bum, scary, hollow, in. ♪ Where nice shit lives, bum, bum, bum, bum ♪ ♪ Scary, hollow, wee ♪ ♪ Who do we have in the studio, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum ♪ ♪ What up, what the fuck are you, bum, bum, bum, bum ♪ ♪ What the fuck, bum, bum, bum, bum ♪ (laughing) - You don't just get to mown, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. She thought it was a native chant. - Yeah, she's a party girl. - She was gonna do a Haka there. - You know, she's a party girl? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Whoa, what's going on with you? You know what's so funny? - Going out with all these black guys? (laughing) - Yeah. - Bum, bum, bum, bum, going. ♪ With black guys, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum ♪ - Sleeping over at Black Guys House, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Walking out of the house like she just rode a horse, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. ♪ Like it, bo, like it, jules, jules, jules, jules ♪ - Jules, what are you been doing? - Um, I'm just been-- - Are you dating someone new? Is that what's going on? - Just seeing a couple of people. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Taking after a girl. - Yeah. - Every time though, she's just like, look at this guy. It's just gigantic handsome black guy every time. - You like a little bit of chocolate now, huh? You like a chocolate milk? - I love chocolate. - You love chocolate. - Yeah. - Fantastic. - How come I never see Asians in your little rotation? - I've done Asians. - Yeah, I know you have. - So-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've moved on? - Yeah. - Move on, moved up. - Try something else. - Yeah. - Yeah, you gotta try other stuff. And that's Carlos's life motto. You gotta try other stuff. - I do agree with that. - Honestly, we're not gonna be able to hear a word that you're gonna say. - Yeah, take that fucking thing off. - What is that, by the way? - It's a furry mask. - It's like something a shooter would Google at night. - My favorite thing is you pretending like you did, like you already didn't have that costume. Oh, it's a border of furry. Yeah, like that wasn't in your closet. - I've always wanted to try it since I saw it on entourage, like 15 years ago. - Who did a furry on entourage? - Drama has sex with a girl. - Who's a furry? - Yeah, yeah. - Shout out to the furry community. Dude, I met me and Dorosa in Vegas, met these two beautiful three beautiful sweet women who were dominatrices. And I wanted the download. And she was like, "I'm a big fan." Here's Bobby, first question on everybody's mouth. Where's Bobby? - You doing with Shane? - Yeah, Shane, we did a couple of shows in Vegas. - Yeah, I have a photo for you. - What is that? - We'll show you a photo. - Okay, I did a couple of shows with Shane in Vegas. Shane, you know, just phenomenal. The door venue was unbelievable. What is that? Oh, it's a photo of me and Taylor Swift. - Taylor Swift, yeah. - Your friends with Taylor Swift? - Oh yeah. - You guys. (laughing) (singing) ♪ He's high class now, I'm elite elite ♪ - No, no. Now we went to the football game. It's funny that that's the only photo that they chose to snag of me. - The times of India. - Oh, whoa. - Oh, whoa. - Once you've made it, you've made it, man. (laughing) - Taylor Swift's surprising chat with Andrew. Surprising chat with loser, ugly ginger boy, Andrew's auntie in a chiefs game. Sparks is wetting this. Yeah, this was the most misinterpreted thing I've ever said. I said, I probably, I said, said on part of my take. I'd said, like, they were like, "Oh, you're gonna go to the wedding?" I was like, "Dude, I don't know." I also don't wanna talk about it. I was like, "Leave me the fuck alone about this." - But that photo though, wait, so you're mid-smile. You're like looking out. You have your finger here. She must have said something funny. So, what, so, you say what she said? Come on. - If you think I'm gonna let you-- (laughing) - What's the finger about though? - I'm sure I was, I turn to cover your mouth. - Yeah, I was covering my mouth. I was saying a racially charged joke to her and I was trying to cover my mouth. - Yeah, and she's in mid-saying a punchline or something. - And you just think of face. You've never laughed that hard in front of me, ever. (laughing) - What, what, what, what, what is she saying that's gonna give you that reaction? (laughing) - I actually don't-- - Look at that face. - I don't know the moment in time. - I've never seen you make that face. - What? - What does she smell like? - Yeah, what does she smell like, does it tell us? - I mean, why don't you guess? - Okay, rose, matcha. - Rose hips. - Yeah, rose hips. - Yeah, I mean, soft serve matcha. - Well, that's just your favorite. That's why you're saying. - No, no, no, just on the pits. - Smells like a global superstar would smell. - Whoa, bottle that up. - Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. - Dude, she's so very sweet, very cool, very nice. And they're very courteous to let me even come and you're that booth because probably the most unaccomplished ugly guy in the whole clique. But they let me in. - Wow. - Anyway. - Incredible. - What was I saying? You broke up my brain. - Yeah. - Why would you break up my brain? What were you saying? Oh, these dominatrices. - Oh, yeah. - Joe and I go to get pizza after the Gila Show. And we go to get pizza and these three women. It was the, dude, this is crazy in Vegas. It was the marathon, the four aces, the WMBA teams parade for winning a championship. EmoFest, which was you would have fucking lost. - Oh, love EmoFest. Dashboard Confessionals, my favorite. - Well, Blink played with Panic of the Disco and two, I don't know, three other bands. And we meet these three girls and I was like, oh, did you guys go to EmoFest? And she's like, kind of, we did something else. And I was like, oh, what'd you do? And she's like, we're dominatrices. And I was like, I am so fucking curious about, like I want to know. I was like, what percentage of men do you actually like hook up with or who just wants the, you know, the game? And she's like, it's way low on actual sex. - I got tied up once. - Oh, tied up is nothing. This is like kick, beat, insult, drag, make you dress up in different outfits, spitting, kicking. I go, how many guys get like, a general mutilation? She's like, a ton, a high amount of people. - Like, razor blades to the private. - Anything. - Kick, pull, squeeze. - What about shitting? - Yeah. - These were not Shies of Girls. These were not Shies of Girls. - Not German, these were German girls. - Yeah, they weren't German girls. We came to Vegas for a little fight. - Yeah. - Little poopy, poopy. Circus, circus, poopy. - Would you ever get that done though? - Brother, what? No. - Get tied up in. - I don't like, no. - Why not? - I'm missionary for a minute and a half and then go to bed. - Really? - Okay, a minute, maybe a little minute, not even a minute and a half. No, I don't want to get hurt while I have sex. That's not for me. - I respect it. - I do easy mode first. - Yeah, dude. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't go full flow masterclass. - My play is the first guy, you know, at the first avatar. - Like an NPC? - Yeah, the simple NPC. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - This is me. - Yeah. - That's who I am. - I've been willing to get tied my hands behind my back. - You're this NPC. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. My legs tied like this, right? And just a light smack on the cheek. - I don't mind. - And then I'll go, you know what I mean? Turn it up. - Turn it up. - You got to start, you got to start with one. - You can't start at nine. - You can't start at nine when you're first time getting tied up. - It's nuts. - I don't know. I'll get, do that, right? - It's a little back up. - And then level two is what? Two cheeks. - Double, double. - Yeah, so. - Two cheek it, two cheek it. Pop. - Maybe she chokes a little bit. - Right. And then maybe stick a toothpick inside the penis hole. - Ah, yeah. - No. - Is that, what level is that? - I don't, that's level five. (laughing) You're scared of that. - Oh, yeah. I'm skipping levels. - Don't go from like pop up. - Oh, all right, all right. Oh, it's twist my nips. - Twist nips, twist nips. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Twist nips. - Yeah. And I'm not talking to you about my Japanese photos. - Carlos likes, by the way. - Yeah. - And then he's a nip twist. - Yeah. - But she was fast and injured. I was so intrigued. I was like, I want to know everything about it. The one girl was very shareable. The other one was like, I'm eating my pizza. Leave me alone. - I wish I was there. - You would have loved it, dude. - I would have done it. - And they were rad. - How much money do you think? - She didn't tell 'cause I didn't want to ask her about finances. But I imagine, 'cause I did say how expensive does it get, she's like, well, some sessions are in the thousands. So in the multi-tiles, yeah, we have one right there. - But do people orgasm or are they just like the pain?
It's not about coming. - Yeah. - God dammit, that's the best part, no. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - No, you just need a- - Richie, isn't that the best part? - Of course. (laughing) Of course. (laughing) - You come? - You come? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would love to see Richie tied up there. - Can we get you a dominatrix and you'd be down to- - Sure. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We're gonna film it, okay? You're really down to be on cam. - You would come. - Depending on how far I go. - I also met a guy- - Level five toothpicks in the- - Oh, no. - Familiar group of friends that I guess we had met before. He is a, he works in porn. He started off as a film, as a filmographer. He started off as McCone, right? A shooter. And now he, I go, you ever get in front of the camera? He goes, I've been doing it lately. I go, ooh, little tiny Filipino guy. I go, what's going on with that? - Who is it? - And he goes, yeah, it's kind of cool. I go, well, what are you, what are you doing? He's like, I'm the cook. So he's like, I don't get to penetrate. I'm the boyfriend that gets cheated on in front of me with the girl. - What? Explain, explain, explain. - He's the cook. In the video of like, you know, like in a porn where it's like, he's cookin', he just stands there and watches. That's not him. - Yeah, yeah. - But he just stands there and watches. - Can you play with themself while it's happening? - No. - Oh man, that's the bottom. - That's like the punishment. - Can he stick his finger in his own- - Can you do nothing? - Okay. - He doesn't, I go, do you ever get to do anything? He goes, no, I just have to watch. - That's what, that would be me. I just be like, one finger in there. - One finger in your ass. - I wouldn't even go up and down, I'll just stick it in. - He was great. He was very interesting. - Wow. - Very, very interesting stories I met. This weekend in Vegas was interesting little- - I wonder what that, but I mean, it must be arousing the watch. - I mean, I don't know. I mean, I think the goal would be to not get into it because then you're really in character. Because it's about the pain of it all. - Yeah. Some guys let their, they like to watch their wives. - That's what cucking is. - I'm just explaining to the audience. - You're explaining to one of my family members who watches the show weekly. - Does it? - My aunt is like, thank you Bob. - Hot wife is married, hot wife is a married woman who has sexual relations with other men with the full knowledge and consent of the husband. - This is the opposite. - They call them hot wives. So a hot wife is a woman who has a cock husband. - Yeah. - And it's all good to go. Consentual non-monogamy. - I want to be with an ugly wife, so I can do it. - I'll be the hot husband. - Buddy. - I never be the, I don't, buddy, you don't think I'd ever be the hot husband. - I don't think so. - Yeah, yeah. - Not in this lifetime. - I can explain, I can describe to you the woman. - I believe in reincarnation. I do think in your next life you could be. But I do not think that's in your cards this time around. - Oh boy. - And that's a compliment because you date women much more attractive than you. - That makes me so upset what you're saying. - Shrekking, it's weird. - You're shrekking. - I'm not shrekking. - You're shrekking. - You're shrekking. - Yeah, yeah. - You tell me you don't date women out of your league, that's insane. That's all you do is date beautiful women. That's all you do, and that's a compliment. But it's a backhanded one. - It's so backhanded. - But it doesn't matter. Every guy we know dates women out of their league. Do you know someone that's, with someone that's compared, that's on their level of looks? - Yeah, you're right. I don't want to name names. I know a couple of guys with girlfriends. I'm like, who are? - Who are? - I had a magical little weekend in Vegas, it was wonderful. It is an interesting city. - Is it dead, like they say? - No, fuck no. What do you mean? I just told you how many things were there. Literally, the marathon, emo fest, every hotel was packed, sold out. It was crazy. Look, it's probably also because it's high season right now, because it's getting shitty in other parts of the country. People want to go get away, and Vegas was perfect weather, and the shows were fucking incredible. And we were gambling with Shane's dad, which was the funniest thing in the world, because Shane gave him a little bit of money. - I met a dad. I like his dad. - Phil's the fucking greatest man of life. He gave him a little bit of money, so we go down and sit at the table, and Shane was like, I got to go to my room to go get money, because I've cash in the room. And I was like, well, we can just give you cash, and he's like, no, Phil, he just gave his dad cash. He had just given it to him. And he was giving me some, and his dad was so funny, he was like, no, no, I can give you a little bit. And he was holding out on giving him money, and Shane was like, are you fucking serious right now? I just gave you that money, but he gave him a lot of money. I think he just handed it to him and was like, dad, go gamble. And he was holding back on it, but dude, Shane, on fire. - Yeah, he's-- - No, no, he was winning money. I lost all my money at the very end. He goes, we got to go. We were going to the go to this other thing, and then he goes, just put whatever all in. And I was like, all in. I go all in, and I'm excited. I get 20. I get two face cards, and I'm like, we're winning. She flops out 21. It actually hurt. It actually hurt. He was like, you're good. You don't care. No. It's okay. Who's all the money that I put down? But it's okay. It doesn't matter. - Do you ask me about my weekend? - Well, I'll act the same as you just acted about me explaining my weekend. What happened here? Here what happened in your weekend? What did you do? - Nothing. - No, I went to-- I did the Irvine Improv. Again. - Orange County's finest. - Yeah. Can I ask you this, though? Okay. So I have a little problem. I need your advice. - Yeah. - Well, I don't want this to be taken the wrong way. - Okay. - How many black guys have you been dating? - Just two. - Yeah. - Okay. - Yeah. - And no white? - No white. Good for you. Good girl. - So I've been kind of like a black guy where I have a lot of entourage now. - Well, yeah. How many people are you traveling with? - Well-- - Because I called you from the hotel room. - Yeah, yeah. - And I talked to, it was you, Ramsey, Catbird, Luke. - And one more person. - But then Gilbert, Alex, my guy showed up. - Yeah. - And a couple of assistants from the agency. - Woo. - Right. But here's my problem with it. - Mr. Hollywood. - Really? - I'm with an entourage. I'm Hollywood. - Cut to the Taylor Swift. - Taylor Swift. - Go to the Taylor Swift photo. - I cut to the entourage. - I'm Hollywood. - I didn't bring an entourage. - What? - With Taylor, the world is your entourage. - You've never heard that quote before? - No, but I gotta tell ya. - Yeah. - Never use that. It's really good. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - The world is your entourage. - Show what? You had about eight, nine people in the-- - Right, but my problem is, and this is fine, right? I'm, you know, I can afford it. But-- (laughing) - You're so annoying. - Yeah. - That's so annoying. - In between shows, right? It's like, I need to eat. - Yeah, I do. - So everyone goes. - Everybody's gotta go with-- - No one has money. (laughing) - No one has money. - No one has money. - No one has money. - You're taking door guys from the store. - I know, I know. - Of course they don't have it. - And then almost said it's like, I'm fine, right? But I'm like, you know, there's all these, like we're to this Korean restaurant. Which is pretty good, right? Next to this, there's a new Korean restaurant next to the Irvine Improv. - Okay. - Right, and it's called Galbi Social Club. - Close. - Yeah. - They're right there. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's literally right next to the-- Right, so I'm like, this is good to the Galbi. You're going, and then they have these packages, like, you know what I mean? - Yeah, what kind of meets do you want? - Like, there's a feast package. - Sure. - Right? And usually, like, I can, I'll just go, I'll take one of that, right? But now it's like, yeah, I'll take five of that. (laughing) - Yeah. - Right? - It adds up. - It adds up. - And people are feasting. - Yeah, they're doing the Trump feast. - Yeah, yeah. (laughing) You know what I mean? Bugle G in their mouth. Right, playing little games. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Right. - And then they're ordering more steam day. - More steam day. - Right, in my mind, I'm calculating more steam day. That's fucking 1995 there, you know what I mean? Saki, drink on it, on it, on it. And you get the bill, and you look around the table, and they all look like little orphan Annie's friends. Yeah, me, you're right. Like all of her twists. - May I have another, sir? - May I have a bowl of porridge, please? - Just one more steam day, please. - Yeah, right. And then it's just like, you got to do it, because-- - Why don't you tell me how much it was? - I mean-- - That many people, what is the bill for that many people? - It's not that much, it's not that, like I said, I can afford it. - You can. - And you did it, so that's what happens. - But you have no problem with it. - There is a code of standup. - That's right, let's go to the top. - You are supposed to pay for your openers and-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You have to, yeah. - Yeah, because you have the money in there. - Yeah, everyone from CA, come down. - Well, no, no, no, no, no, okay, okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - Come on down, you know what I mean? - With the agents, by the way, the rule is-- - Yeah. - The hierarchy pays. The agents, when they show up, they should pay. - It wasn't the agency, it was the assistance. - Why? - Oh, then you gotta pay. - I gotta pay. - But if the agent shows up or someone at the agency, they pay because-- - I love them, by the way, thanks for showing up, because it makes you feel good that the company's coming out. - I don't want anybody to show up ever to my shows, that's at my agency. We don't ever show up. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Come on down, come on down, but it's like-- - Go to his shows. - If you had Arby's before and then-- - I feel good, I wanna do it. - You like the entourage. - No, no, it gets you off, you like that. - Yeah. - You enjoy that thing. - And then all of a sudden, you know what I mean? A guy has three other friends. You know what I mean? They came to the show. Compt. - Sure. - Compt! - They're not gonna pay for it. - Fine, that's fine. But then they're like, can they come? - They come? - Yeah, let them come. - Everyone wants to come. Let everybody come, right, Richie? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, say let everybody come. Let everybody come. - Yeah. - Clip it. - Yeah. - Honestly, dude, you gotta do it. - Yeah. - But what's my opinion? You wanna my opinion? Do you have to do it? Yeah, you gotta do it. It's the hierarchy of pay, those that make the-- And by the way, then when you're with other comics, like at AR, we either swap, like I'll pay you pay, or you do credit card roulette. So one of us has to throw our credit card in a hat and then one of the-- And usually make the server pick it. Then they pick it out. And then whoever gets hit gets hit. - Have you ever picked up the tab? - No, oh my god. the tab who I don't even think she pays for gas.
My friends no really do you let me ask you say in your friend group. Do you have the most money? I don't think so really. I've seen your friend group Shopify we have an online business here at bad friends and we use Shopify because it's the best Shopify's point of sale system is a unified command center for your retail business It brings together in-store and online operations across up to a thousand locations and thanksfully for Shopify They're the way that we get our merch to you guys. Imagine being able to guarantee the shopping is always convenient endless Isle ship to customer Buy online pick up and store all made simpler so customers can shop how they want and the staff can have the tools to close the sale every single time And let's face it according new customers is expensive Andrew with Shopify POS You can keep shoppers coming back with personalized experiences and first party data that gives marketing teams a competitive edge in fact It's proven based on report from EY businesses on Shopify POS Real results like 22% better total cost of ownership and benefits equivalent to an 8.9% uplifting sales on an average Relative to the market set survey we use Shopify and if you have a small business you should to turn those what ifs into why not's and Keep giving those big dreams the best shot with Shopify get all the big stuff for your small business right with Shopify Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash bad friends shopify.com slash bad friends shopify.com slash Talk space talk space is the number one rated online therapy bringing you Professionals support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime anywhere I'm telling you something right now Andrew. I do therapy every week right and I think it's very vital for my mental health You know, I had so much trauma growing up growing up as a kid and I I use EMDR other methods to to take the the power away from those terrible moments in my life and I need and I need Talk space and you don't always have to have a traumatic thing in your life to go talk to someone talking to someone is wonderful We should all be doing it and talk spaces in network. Okay talk space therapy and psychiatrists cover by most insurers and most insured members pay a Co-pay of zero dollars. All right, and talk space based getting the help you need easy accessible and affordable You can do it from the comfort of your own home your car wherever you're on the road. You're in a hotel It doesn't really matter. That's why if you're a bad friend But you need a little bit of a good friend. You should use talk space As a listener of the podcast you'll get $80 dollars off your first month with talk space when you go to talkspace.com/badfriends and enter promo code space 80 that's space 80 SPAC 8080 to match with the license therapist today go to talkspace.com/badfriends and enter that code space 80 Well, I don't I never I don't know sometimes how about this when you're going on on dates now Oh, I don't pay you cannot pay do they do you offer half you don't even do that no? Thank you Has any guy ever said do you want to split it? No, but that would be crazy. I would just leave. I saw a video the other day It's empowerment right there. Yeah on full display a tick-tock where a guy picks up a girl first day And the girl brings her son to get a free meal. How old's the kid? He's like five years old. That's okay If you picked up a girl with this kid five years old is cute. Five's funny. You can you know what? By the way, you use that as ammunition you joke with the kid you say funny stuff you make faces you make them laugh. She loves you more That's a home run. Okay. I guess I guess strategy. Yeah, you're right. But by the way five five six kind of the cutoff if she brings a 10-year-old That's bananas. Yeah, he can stay at home alone 10. I was I mean when we started being home alone when we're like eight Yeah, you're fine. There's hot dogs in the fridge. Do you remember I was dating? Yeah, and so I remember that she came out with her son that kid was 30. Yeah, yeah No, he was 12 years old right to that's over the breaking point and then he goes When I pick up from the airport all he could say is I have a short throat Right is a little short throw. Yeah, no sore throat. Oh, I sure I thought he's a short. Yeah, yeah I have a sore throat right so we get to my house and I go to you know door dash and I just go I have a sore throat Yeah, I can only eat caviar. I said hey kiddo. I say kiddo. What kind of flavor do you want a don't care? I gave him every brand. Well, that's a problem. It comes to my house I give him a I give him packets of it like bat bags of it. He sticks in his mouth and he goes It spits it on the floor, right deny. So then I go pick it up and he goes you pick it up He goes I go pick it up you pick it up I go pick it up you pick it up you know what it is I picked it up Yeah, I fucking picked it up. He never had another bag again. I still have those fucking sort of fucking things in my house He's got a bag of stories ever since then I'm like no more kids. Yeah, you got to cut it off. Yeah, yeah, but five or six is cute And you use that you go you you you ingratiate yourself to the kid then it's going. Oh, he's a nice guy He likes my kid and if the kids funny you you might have more fun with him than a date. She would have to be Carlos back me up on this. Yeah, they got to be hot because they have to be the hardest thing I look I look not in the dating game, but I got to tell you there's probably a lot of five-year-olds I'd rather joke around with them some of the girls that you date There are knowing right Some of them are first there are knowing right some of them I could see your face Some of them I'd rather be like a chat rather chat with a five-year-old about trains and monsters Yeah, I remember one time I was with a girl and we were in Vegas or something Yeah, you literally call because I was gone. I went to the bathroom. Sorry. You go you got to get the fuck back here I go I go you said someone so it's fucking annoying. You can't leave me alone with these people I don't know what to talk them about. I feel more comfortable with the kid and we can joke around Yeah, I can make a fart noise and that's 30 minutes right there. Yeah, I start doing And they're like, yeah, lose their mouth. Yeah, yeah, I can't do that to your date. I had this one girl. I had this one girl She had to come back and apologize to you for being rude Oh, you remember that because she was just like because she was a huge fan But then she was like, but when I meet him a fan of you. No, I'm not a fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah She said when I meet him Andrew right. I gotta I gotta have confidence. You know me and I gotta like I can't be a fangirl I'm like no, just be yourself. I go just be your fucking self. She goes no, no, no I have and then when she met you she was a fucking bitch super mean. Yeah, she was like hey, what's up? And I'm my mind. I'm like, well, what are you doing? Not the mood. Yeah, yeah, and then like 10 minutes later she had to come back up to you and go, I'm sorry about my attitude, but that point. I was already out. You're out I'm out. Yeah, I'm out. Yeah, it's my point. So look on new dates New dates bring a kid ladies out there. Yeah, I don't have a kid. Yeah yet My words. No, yeah, it's coming for you. Well, you're up to no good If you went on a date with a guy and he had a couple of kids, would you would that turn you off or not? I think right now it would. Why? I just don't want to deal with kids. Yeah. Yeah, but what if you met a guy? Okay, look you're 23 Yeah, what if you met a guy that's 28 and he has a kid Then no here. Look ages 20 to 29, which is your age range approximately 24% of black men in this age range have father to child So a quarter of the men that are going to take you out have a father. So or have a child So you're going to meet a guy who's going to have a kid. You're going to have to decide at some point. What are you going to do? You're going to fall in love with this man And be the new mom No, I don't want to be a mom. Well, I'm just telling you ever statistics are there. Yeah 35% of non-Hispanic age and like you to Bobby Like explain to me what my I'm like And just old and just like I won't yeah single and old single and old. Do you say I want to be like you? Yeah Interesting really. Yeah, I influenced you in that way. I think yeah. Yeah, my lifestyle. Yeah. Yeah, you are a life coach. Yeah Thank you. Yeah, you are because last night I was it's like I'm just gonna play dying light part two Till five in the morning. How'd that go great completed it? No, it's impossible. There's so many side it can't beat it It's on and on. It's the scary. It's the dumbest game at night. Have you played dying light? No, not yet At night, it's the most terrifying. What about Silent Hill? I couldn't fit. I couldn't finish it I couldn't finish it. I started I started watching the BTK killer last night and everybody's because everyone's been sending me that it's you I know dude. You saw the BTK kill this is the drawing is you have you seen the drawing? I know go to BTK killer I could please don't I could DM the text about all day. Look at that look. It's that's a hundred percent That's so That's so obviously you know, it's like who's that that's Bobby Lee. Yeah, yeah Did you watch that BTK killer? No, but I'm a big fan It's tragic dude. It's awful to watch. Who's here? It's heartbreaking. Who is here? Who's here? Oh, we have a guest. Oh spooky flames spooky. Spooky flame is here spooky flame Dude you look like you just got off a meth binge. Oh, yeah, it looks like somebody extinguished your flame there. Yeah, what's going on dude? You look wild eyed. Oh, I don't know. I don't know Your eyes are so blue. Yeah, your eyes are blue. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Beautiful boy Thank you. How's it been going real beautiful good. Is this your Halloween costume? We asked you to come and costume Yes, um, it's like the the project decks outfit. Oh, it's what you wore in the movie. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god That's is that exactly the clothes that you wore in the film? Yes. Uh, well, I mean
different jacket, but pretty much. - Can I be honest with you, bud? It's not even a little bit like that. - Wait, zoom in. Look at how young you are. They're how old are you there? - 18. - Wow. - How old are you now? - 33. - Is that good memories or project acts? - Yeah, yeah. - You do, you have good memories of that. - That was filmed near here. - Yeah? - Yeah. - Do you still get residuals from that movie? - Yeah, pretty small, but yes. - Like what's an average one from that film? - I think probably like 3,000 a year. - That's not bad. - Yeah, not bad. - Free money. - Yeah. - And then dumb and dumber. - No, what? Is who y'all are dressed as? - No, Ben and Jerry. - Ben and Jerry, the ice cream. - Okay, man. - Yeah, I'm Chokimoki. - Yeah. - Who are you? - Meg. - Oh, okay, cool. - It's not all part of the same theme. Like those guys are not part of Ben and Jerry at all. Can you guess what they are? What do you think Carlos says? - Oh, Sonic. - Yeah. - And look who's right next to him is Tails, right there. That's Tails. Richie's Tails. Richie, what do you think Richie is? - I don't know. - Karen Carpenter. - Karen Carpenter. - And then who do you think is in the back there? Who do you think is in the back? - He told me Groucho Marx. - So you already got tipped off. - Yeah. - What can you want to lie and retake it again? - Yeah. - Who is that in the back? - Ss. - Someone with a mustache. - You started off rights. - It's Hitler. It's Hitler. - That's actually Hitler. - That's Hitler. - He shaved it into a little tiny. So Hitler, actually, that's actually the outfit that he was known for the most. And then he shaved a little tiny mustache here. The art school one. - This is art school Hitler. - Yeah. - Oh yeah, the art school Hitler, dude. - That's art school Hitler. (laughing) That was art school Hitler before he got denied and kind of really changed his thought process about the world. But there he is, that's art school Hitler. - Is that him as a kid? - Yeah. - Do you think you could at that point? - Look at that, whoa. (laughing) - Whoa. - Look at those legs. - But as a kid, do you think. - It looks like Pete. - You'd be able to change his mind. (laughing) - Huh? - If you ran into Hitler via the time machine, you ran into that Hitler that was like nine years old. Do you think you could be able to change the direction of his life? (laughing) - What would you say? - That's a really good question. - Yeah, what would you say? - High little Hitler. - I can't do the act of. - Okay. - Hello, hello little Hitler. - Hello Chinese boy. (laughing) - Already, it's hard. - Yeah. - Well, you know, I'm not Chinese. I think you're just, you know, I'm from a different, but you know, we're all human beings. We're all the kind of the same. - You're all from China as far as I'm concerned. (laughing) - Yeah, I get it, but it's like I'm Korean. - Rice man. - Please, you know what? Calling to regulatory words. - Little rice man, tiny, little man. - Yeah, yeah. Anyway, no, I like you. You people are okay. - Yeah. - You're not so bad. - Yeah, I think all people are equal, no? - All people are equal? - Yeah. (laughing) - Not all. - What do you mean? - A few people don't deserve the same things as me. (laughing) - I see. Well, let's go through the fucking groups. - You know, blacks, you, stations. - Yeah. - All equal? - Yeah. - Yeah, they're equal on their little plane. (laughing) - Oh, so you're in a different category. - Yeah, well, superior. - Okay. (laughing) - No, you killed that. - I would kill him. - You can't flip that guy. I don't think it was born. I don't think it was born like that. I think something tragic happened to him. I think he was probably molested in art school, which is why he had this whole weird art school thing. - Oh. - He was molested, and then this was his rage against the world. Was Hitler molested? Gotta be. - Is he gay? - Gotta be. - No, Hitler wasn't gay, dude. - No, it wasn't cool enough to be gay. Historians in scholars have found no credible evidence to Adolf Hitler was sexually molested. Rumors circulated after World War II. These were largely for propaganda purposes and have been discredited. I like how they discredited. Like they had to go out of their way to find out. They're like, "All right, who molested Hitler?" He had a horse in his father, traumatic episodes. Yeah, I think he had something called up. All right, raise your hand if you molested Hitler. Guys, come on. We're not gonna get back to painting until you guys tell me who did it. - Yeah. - We want to do watercolas. (laughing) - Listen, I think it was born that way. - You really do. - Are you probably a sociopath? - No, because something had to have happened to him, dude. I think we're all born pretty clean and good. Something cracks a human, something breaks. Every time you watch these true crime documentaries, something really bad happened, right? Is anything really bad happened to you in your life? - Not like that. - See? - Yeah. - And that's why he's high functioning normal Adolf. - Yeah. - I would say something their day about often serial killers are bedwaters to an older age. - And when did you start? - I did until two old, but not anymore, of course, like maybe like nine or something. - Nine? - Nine? - What are you old to wet the bed? - Yeah. - Yeah. - But not kids that women bring on dates with Bobby. That's pretty, nine is old. - I can imagine him coming downstairs like in the exorcist. He's just a piece of-- (laughing) - A piece of-- - The triad was proposed in 63 by psychiatrist J. M. McDonald based on the observation small group of non-violent patients who had made threats. It's a misconception that serial killers are bedwaters. That's not true. - Okay. - That the McDonald triad. So that's not-- - I mean like getting a head injury, right? - What? - A head injury. - Head injury, molestation, both physical and sexual abuse towards, they all kind of have a lot of that stuff in common. - But if you look at our society and then you look at like how many serial killers were in Sweden or Thailand, you're talking about low numbers like three, four people throughout their history. - Well the highest concentration of serial killers has got to be from here. - It is. - Well, we're number one-- - Thousands. - We're number one again. - But why here? - I don't know. - I don't know. - What? - You have the most head injuries. (laughing) - You think so? - A lot of doctors dropping babies. - Yeah. - Studies suggest a correlation between head injuries and serial killing. It's not a direct cause, but there is a tie. I wonder what the other one is. What's your favorite breakfast, Jules? - Rice, eggs, and seaweed, and kimchi, and spam. - Google that and see if that's a serial killer meal. That sounds like one. - That's exactly what I like. - What do serial killers eat? - Is it like a mixed stuff? - Yeah. - What is that called? Is that called a dish? Do you have a nickname or something? - I don't think so. - Serial killers of a variety of foods, zoom in. There's no single serial killer diet and there should be. That's a new diet plan. You want to have a rip body? You've got to have the serial killer diet. The last meal's fried chicken, french fries, onion, soup, well, another one requested steak with baked potato. - I've been thinking about Dahmer lately, but I don't know. - Now we're not going back down that rabbit hole. - We have some famous horror movie scenes to bring back all the things we've been reading. I love to do a strip reading. Let me see, Dex. - It's called the sense we have a professional actor among us. Dex. - Factor. - Yum, yum, fall. Always feels like a reset. It's back to school. It's football is here. It's hockey is back. Basketball is back. Baseball is coming to a close. Busy routines, shorter days. And it's a hard time to find time to cook. Who's got time to cook? Not me. - Me either, and you know, it's hard to cook who has the time, but if you want a quality meal, go to Factor. More variety, more meals. Choose from a wider selection of weekly meal options, including premium seafood choices like salmon and shrimp with no extra cost. - I love salmon. - And they also have GLP-1 friendly meals and new Mediterranean diet options, which I love. Get your fish, baby, Packard Protein, and good for you, Fatzica. Global flavors. They even have meals. Now from Thailand for the first time. And Bobby, China, they have China as well. 97% of customers say that Factor helped them live a healthier life. Feel the difference, no matter your routine. - Each smart at Factor Meals.com/badfriends50off and use code BadFriends50off. To get 50% off your first box, plus free breakfast for one year. - That's wild, man. That's code
[email protected] for 50% off your first box, plus free breakfast for a year. Get delicious, ready to eat meals delivered with Factor, offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase. Do you see one that you want to do, Jules? I mean, you love scary movies. - Um. - What about seven? - The scene from seven. Yeah, let's do seven. - Who are you gonna be, Jules? Mills or John Doe? - Um, Mills. - Okay, you're John Doe? - You're gonna be John Doe. - No, no, no, you gotta be John Doe. 'Cause I'll do state directions. - Okay, please. - Okay, go ahead. - Who's Mills again? I don't remember. - What? - Who's Mills? - That's Brad Pitt's character, right? - Then Dax, you are Somerset in the scene. - Okay. - And remember, Somerset, you're an old black man. - Do you really gotta turn on that voice? - Yeah, yeah. - Is it Morgan Freeman? - Yes, it is. - Have you ever seen the movie? - Okay, okay. - Even better. - Marshlands early evening. - Here he comes. - Does what? - What's up? (laughing) - You're just having a space see on this. - That was my space. (laughing) - Okay, my bad. - You're talking about a boy. - Yeah, extension. - Here he comes. - Here he comes. - What? - I wish I could have lived like you. - Shut up. The fuck you talking about. - You hear me detective. I'm trying to tell you how much I admire you and you're pretty wife. - What? - Tracy. - What you fucking say? - To Asian. - Redolting. - Yeah, yeah. - At Mills Freezes, Trincedo, Doe Smiles. Somerset is close. - He's disturbing how easily a member of the press can purchase information from the
and the men in you precinct. - Summer set starts running towards Mill. - Throw your gun down. - Now that is Morgan Freeman. Now that is Morgan Freeman. Give me two of me one more time. - Yeah, you're also screaming it. (laughing) - That's it. - No, that was like, I understand that, but you know how far apart they are. - Yeah, you're yelling. - You're literally like, you know, I mean, a quarter of a mile away. - Go for it. - Yeah. - Same outfit. - Same outfit. - Yeah, yeah. - I visited your home this morning after you left. - Mill's is filled with aching terror. - I tried to play husband. I tried to taste the life of a simple man. - Summer set this 50 yards away and closing. - Throw it away. - Louder. - Throw it away. - Louder you can. - Yeah. - Throw it away. - It didn't work out, so I took a souvenir. - Her pretty head. - Mill's. (laughing) - Mill raises a gun in the air. - Mill's, gun in the air. - No, no, no, give me the gun. - What's going on over there? - Summer set throws his own weapon away. - Put the gun down. - Show me the box. What was in the box? - Because I envy your normal life. - Put the gun down, David. - It seems that envy is my sin. - What's in the box? What's in the fucking box? - I just told you. - You lied. You're a fucking liar. Shut up. - Because the cut cut, it was like a scuffer second, right? I think you subconsciously know that there's something terrifying in the box, and I think you do know that it's your wife's severed head. - So you're angry. - Much more panic. - Well, how would you feel if someone had a severed head that if someone that you love? - Scared. - Scared. - Yeah. - And pissed. - And mad. - Rage. - Do you in the desert with the box and Tito's Bobby's head was in there? How would you feel? - Mad. - But not with a smile. (laughs) - Yeah, I don't think that would be a good example. I think somebody else. - Yeah. - No, I'd be mad. - Yeah, mad. - Esa, your sister. - Ooh, Esa's head is in a box. - Yeah. - Okay. - No, not in a happy, don't, don't. - Yeah, yeah. Why are you smiling? - The smiling is crazy. - Or let's go back to, let's go back to, it seems that envy is my sin. - What's in the box? - I just told you. - You lied, you're a fucking liar, shut up. - It's what he wants. He wants you to shoot him. - No, no, you tell me that's not true. That's not true. - Become virgin, David. - She's all right, you tell me. - He's crying at this, she's crying at this. - I'm crying? - Yeah, kind of crying rage. - Become wrath. - Tell me she's all right. - You know, you're laughing? - If you murder a suspect, David. - No, no. - She begged for her life to take her, if she begged for her life in the only life of the baby inside her. - Summer said, "Slaps John Delcross the face." - Shut up. - Mills faced lit fills with confusion, then a wave of horror. Doe's eyes register shock. - He didn't know. - Mills raises and lowers the gun a few times sobbing. - Give me the gun, David. - Mills turns the gun on John Del. - David, if you kill him, he will win. - Oh God, oh God. - Dude. - Dude. - Morgan Freeman would be jealous. - He would be jealous. - Yeah, he would, yeah. - So good. - Decks. - Hello, okay, very good. - Thank you, thank you. - Very good, very good stuff. - Very good stuff. - Those are very good. - When a template of Elvitt or. - I don't know. (laughing) - It's a good seed. - Do you miss acting? - It was good. - Yeah, it was good. - Yeah, it was good. - Yeah, yeah, I love acting. - We gotta get you back, we gotta make 'em, we have to write a movie and get Decks in it. - He's gotta be the nemesis though. - You have to be evil. - Right, would you play an evil guy? - What's the most evil thing you've done in your life? - Kill the fish. - Purposely? - Purposely, but because my grandpa had left, we went fishing and you know you have to put, kill the fish after you catch it. - You don't have to. - Well, I couldn't get the hook out of its mouth. So I, and then he had left to go help my mom and then I had to kill the fish with a rock. - Carlos, will you Google serial killer tendencies ties with killing fish with rocks? Is there a tie to. - Well, check if it's like while people are fishing. - No, no, no, that doesn't matter. That's, I think we got two well known serial killers, Jeffrey Damaran, Albert Fish, who have documented ties to killing fish and other small animals, but I didn't like it. - This, you didn't, it says right here, neither of them enjoyed it while it was happening. They were fishing with their grandfather. - Did you cry while you were doing it? - No, no. - They show tendencies to not cry at all while they're killing the fish. Did you feel anything at all? - Yeah, yeah. - What did you feel? - Terrible. - Studies show the word they use is terrible at the beginning, but then sexual arousal when it's over. - Did you have an erection? - No, no, okay, okay. - Most of them can't get an erection. And it says here, because of the terror, terror. - Wow. Do you think you may have some serial killer tendencies? - No, but that may be alliance. - So yeah. - Maybe one, maybe singular, that. - I think he's the opposite of a serial killer. I think he's a good guy. I think your heart is so pure. - Well, I could just be a regular killer and not legalized. You know, he could, no, he's not a killer. - I think you're a sweet guy. - Thank you. - That's also a party guy. - I've seen him a lot in parties that I went. - Okay, what part did you go to where you saw Dax? - The Zack Justice one and another one. And another one. - Oh, that's true. It was my friend Ryan's birthday. - And you went to that? - Yeah. - Lot of influencers, people there, a lot of young people. - Who invited you? - Zack. - 'Cause you know she's on his podcast now, as a permanent. - I see that. - Well, I see that on the internet. - How do you, wait, wait, how do you feel about that, Andrew? - Well, you're a bad friend and you do Tiger Belly, then you do Trash Tuesday, then you this. You're kind of like a pot, you're kind of a pot hopper if I'm being honest. - Yeah, let's be in no loyalty. - No, you're a pot hopper. Look, there's a pot hopper right there. - What? - Yeah, look at this. - She has pot hop in all the places. - Ah, pot hop in all over the place. Look at her. - You're a pot hopper. It's actually not a good thing to be. - It's just family podcast, Tiger Belly. - Yeah, you pot hop. Look at that, look at this, more, more. - Your evil pot hopper. Yeah, that's what's evil is pure as pot hoppin. - Yeah. - You stay loyal to us, but no, she's pot hoppin. - She's pot hoppin, then. - Are you and Zach just good friends? How do you know him? - He's a bobby. - Right. So you introduced the pot hopper to her. - Yes, I did. - Well, it's your fault. - You know, he swooped in. - Pot hoppin. - He pot hopped. - Mrs. I don't feel like podcasting. - I had to force you to do it. - Yeah. - Now, pot hoppin. - Now anyone asks you to do it. How excited are you for about the Dodgers? - Oh my gosh. - You're such a big Dodger fan. - I am. - And where are they now? - We're serious. - You name some of your favorite Dodgers? - Yeah, Freeman, I like Freddie Freeman. I like Shohei. - The best. - The other jacket. That game that he played last time-- - The best game, it's probably the greatest song I've ever played. - You're a big Dodger fan, Dax? - As big of like any other team. - That doesn't, that's not it. - No, it's not yet a sudden answer. - That's not it. That's like when you say, do you like food? And you're like, I like food, like people like food. - Yeah. - They're Shohei. So handsome. - He's handsome. - Like him, don't you? - Aletus. - Big boy. - He's a big boy. - He's a big boy. - Yeah. - He goes straight to big boy. - Yeah. - He is a big, big boy. - Yeah. - That's Japan's finest export. - He has Pearl Harbor energy all the time. - Well, it's payback, baby. - Yeah. - Payback. - Yeah. - That's his girlfriend. - Yeah. - Right there. - That's wife. - Yeah. - Oh wife, sorry. - Momiko. - Yeah. It's not healthy. - Do you think, though? Do you think in his head, though? - It makes me look tan. That's why I like Japanese women. They make me look tan. - Yeah. - Do you think his mind is like, I shouldn't marry. Because now I think I could get a white pussy. - No. - Do you think or not? - Do you think? - No. Dude, he's from Japan. - Bob's mad now. - He's from Japan. His favorite. I think Japan, he represents Japan. He's got to have a Japanese wife. - Yeah, he has to. - He has some dumb American wife. What a waste of his time. He's got some bozo, goofball. Can he play in Orange County before? Imagine if he was with some Orange County or some Laguna Beach chick. You'd be bummed. - She is very pretty. - She's gorgeous. - She's gorgeous. - Yeah. - Beautiful Japanese girl. - What's the way you laugh? - Because I know you have that mindset of holding out until you have succeed a lot. - Well, Bobby, what are you talking about, dude? 'Cause you can get the hottest girls when you're richest and most famous. And I know you actively seek that. 'Cause I would, too. I get it. - You've said to me, an Asian American at their highest pinnacle is getting a hot white girl. You've said that. You've said that. You've said that as a successful Asian American, the pinnacle is getting a hot white girl. - It's called playing in the snow. - Playing in the snow. Snow bunny life. - Yeah. - You say that, dude. Don't pretend like that's not true. Is that not true? - No. - It's not. - Okay, acting. - I mean, would you ever date an Asian woman? - Yes. - Have you? - No. - I've been on a date. - With an Asian. - Yeah. - You can't take this the wrong way, please. You seem like you do like Asian girls. - Yeah. - Okay. - You've got I like Asian girl, white guy energy. - Yeah. It's almost a fetish. - Oh, no. Like a tech guy. - Yeah. - Sure. - Do you like dried squid? - I've never had that. - Okay. See you later.
- All right, what do you watch? - Oh, I don't know. - He doesn't watch it. - You watch it? - Sometimes. - Uh-oh. - Do you watch it? - What's your Google history? I mean, you're a porn hub history. - The feds probably, no? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What were we talking about earlier? (laughing) - Really? It's uncomfortable? - Yeah, yeah. - You don't wanna talk about that. (laughing) It's too, you know, it's so funny you, 'cause I know you now pretty well. You don't like to talk real private stuff. - True. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You wanna protect some things about your private life. - Yeah, why is that you think? - I'm just too timid talking about porn on a podcast. - I agree, it's stupid. We shouldn't be talking about it at all. - Okay. - I agree with you. - I agree too. - Say it. - It's stupid guys to talk about this crap. It's stupid to talk about this crap. Let's talk about something smarter. - Thank you. (laughing) - Oh, I see. - And he's right. Let's tell me, give us something smarter. That is true. What would you like to talk about that's more intellectual? - You know much about the A1 Atlas Meteor approaching Earth? - Yeah. - Is that what it's called, A1? - Yeah, well tell us about this comment that's hurling toward Earth. - It's risky, but people aren't too worried. - What's risky about it? - That it could collide or something. - But do you think it's an alien spacecraft? - No. - Okay. - We have another way to test intelligence. I have a Halloween trivia game. Let's see how smart you really are. (laughing) - How do you, do you yell it out or do you just raise your hand? - It's gonna be like the old days. It's point based. There's 25 questions. We're all gonna go in order of that. Everybody gets to buzz in and go first, but we'll start with you being able to go first, but. - I mean, do you want a buzzer? Do you want to go? Everybody equal gets a first question. - Everybody equal. - Okay. I'm not gonna plug in, 'cause you're not gonna see this. - So it'll just go down the line. If I don't get it right, then it's your turn, your turn. - Well, you guys will all guess, 'cause some of them are gonna be like multiple choice. Not multiple choice, but like, like question one, what is the most popular Halloween candy? - What's the most popular Halloween candy? Bob, what do you think? - Uh. Fuck, that's a good one. - Fuck man. - I know my answer. We have to go in the candy corn. - Yeah, that's what I said. - Candy corn? - That was just a candy corn, that's what I was saying. - Guess something else. - Huh? - Well, that's the one I-- - The game's not good that one. - Okay, cool. I mean, you guys can both guess candy corn. (laughing) And then if you both are right, you both get a point. - Yeah, I think that's good. - Candy corn is my guess. - Candy corn. - Reese's peanut butter cup. - Ooh, that's a good one. - Okay, we go candy corn, they do cups. - They're correct. - Reese's peanut butter cups. - One point for Rudy, one point for Dax. - That'll piss me right off. - That pisses me off then. - What was candy corn originally called? - Andrew starts. - Yes. - Candy corn was originally called Witch's Toes. Witch's Toes. - Really? - I don't fucking know. (laughing) I have no idea. - Pumpkin fingers. - Ooh, pumpkin fingers. Body parts, it seems to be the theme. - Candy pure mid. Candy pyramid, very specific. - Harvest candy. - Harvest candy, that's actually good too. - The answer is chicken feed. - Chicken feed. - Oh, next one. - Next one. - What candy is given to soldiers in battle in the Korean war? - Catamine. - In the Korean war? - Starting with Rudy. - Meth and fetamine. - What candy was given to soldiers in the Korean war? - I think I know. - Sugar, sugar cane candy. - Sugar cane candy. - Sugar cane candy. - Hershees. - Hershees. - I'm with Hershees. - I'm gonna say sugar babies. - Tootsie roll. - Fuck. - Damn it. - These are hard guns. - This is one where you have the opportunity to get three points. - Dacks you're up first. - Or two points, or one point. - What are the top three most popular Halloween costumes for dogs? - For dogs? - For dogs. - For dogs? - For dog. - For dog. - Ladybug. - Uh, scarecrow. - Okay. - Ash or not. - Me? - Yeah. - Flower. Vampire. - Mummy. - Toto. - Zombie. - And butterfly. - Ghost. - Oh, ghost. - Ghost. - I forgot about ghost. - Firefighters, or. - Firefighter? - Yeah. - That's so funny. - No, yeah, you mean Dalmatian. - Yeah, yeah, firefighter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - I get it, I get it. - I get it too. - Butterfly too. - Butterfly. What are the three? - Pumpkin. - No one of us. - Hotdog. - None of us. - And bumblebee. - None of us. - It is still two to nothing. - I mean, one to one to nothing to nothing. - Bumblebee. - Bumblebee, over butterfly or ladybug, bullshit. - That's what it's up. - Fuck you. - Okay, let's go. - Did you get this off of a truth social? - I've pulled it from a bunch of different sources. - Okay, go ahead. - I only make bugs, bumblebees. - In what American state is it illegal to be a priest or nun for Halloween? - Oh, it's gotta be. - I know what it is. - Oh, I already know. - Kansas. - I actually know that I think. I was gonna say Utah. - I don't know. - Name any state? - Tennessee. - The good guess. - Arkansas. - These might be too hard. This is Alabama. - No, he was close. Give him a point. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - We need to start racking up points. Yeah, he's closest. - Alabama and Arkansas are neighbors. That's close. - Okay. - We are nowhere fucking near it. - Okay. - A pumpkin is a fruit, true or false? - True. - True. - True. - You gotta go against the grain's kid. - False? - It's true. - It's true. - Idiot. - No, no, no, no. - Idiot. Idiot, idiot. - Bobby and Rudy tied at one point. - None. - Andram and Dax tied at three. - Let's go, bitch. - Dax, which famed horror actor performed the monologue in Michael Jackson's thriller? Vincent Price. - Bella Logosi. - Emerald Legosi. Sorry. - Oh. - Oh god. - Why did you say Vincent Price? - I remember there's that deep voice in that song. - Yeah. - I don't know. - I'll say, I'll say Vincent Price. I'm gonna copy you. - I'll copy you, guys. - Vincent Price is correct. - Yes! - Very good guess. - Cool, thanks. - Yeah, you're welcome. - I'm gonna out now. I'm getting out now. There's no way to come back. - Yeah, there is. - Hold on, there's enough questions where you can tie. - Okay, okay, okay. - So the standings right now. Dax and Rudy are tied with five. - Five, four. - Andrews with four and Bobby is taking up the rear with one. - You're always taking it up the rear. - His tone, dude. He can no longer be the question guy. - Richie should be doing it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Richie, can you take over? - Richie, take over. - Richie, Richie, take over. - Richie, it's gonna hurt. - I think it's his negativity. - He's in body groucho marks right now. I don't like it. Yeah, so Richie, you take, no. Richie takes over. - Richie takes over. - Yeah, go ahead, Richie. - Yeah, Richie, go ahead, bud. - All right, how many Halloween movies has Jamie Lee Curtis appeared in? - The closest. - Okay, Rudy. - Perfect. - Six. - Two. - One. - One. - Seven. - Oh my God. - Rudy gets it again. - Oh my God. - Don't look at me, dude. I'm in the last place. - I don't remember. - You go with me against what I'm saying. - I don't remember at all. - Intwilite. - No, you sound, Richie. Richie, dude. Intwilite. - Richie, Richie. - All right, Richie. - All right, Intwilite. What year did Edward Cullen turn into a vampire? - Never seen the movie. - In what year? - What year, closer to the year? - Rudy's up her. - No, you don't even say closest to the year. - You say closest to the year, Richie. - Closest to the year. - Yeah. (laughing) - Like 17, 20. - 18, 20. - What's the question? Richie. - Intwilite. - Oh, in the movie, like his character. - So you said, you already guessed. - Yes. - 17, 20, and you guessed 18, 20. - 16, 50. - I think 15, 14, 19, 18. Oh, so that is. - So it's Dax and. - I've never seen the movie. - So Rudy has the opportunity to tie. - What's up, what's up, what's up? - The last question. - There it goes. - Here's the note. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Can I say something? - Okay. - Richie does the question. - Okay. - Yep. - Okay. - Yep. - Yeah, all right. - Yep. - I mean, how do I tell you how to tell you? - All right. - It's just irritating. I don't know what it is. - I think that's why I'm losing. - That's why. - That's why, yes. - All right. - I don't want you to hear a word from me. I love you, bud. But Richie from now on, I'm so sorry, guys. - I'm sorry. - He's the reason I'm losing.
- You're fucking, go ahead, Richie. - Don't worry, I'm your good luck charm here. How many minutes does Michael keep an appear on screen in Beetlejuice? - What? - Say it again. - How many minutes does Michael Keaton appear on screen in Beetlejuice? - Okay, Dad, start. - 10. - 17 minutes. - 28 minutes. - Seven minutes. - 17 minutes, Bobby gets it right and wins the game. - I told you. - You also did. - Good luck charm. - How did he win? - No, he didn't. - He just won the last one. - Final score, Bobby Lee 3, Andrew Santino 5, Rudy Giuliani 6, Dax Flames 7. Happy Halloween. - You're no longer welcome on the show, Dax. - You understand me? - Yeah. - I'm coming here and you go. - Okay. - You're supposed to throw the game for us. - I'll give a point to everyone. - So that gets you down 6, 5, 4. - Next time we do a game, right? - Here it goes. - Two more dates and square footage of a fuck of an area. That's insane. - No square footage. - Yeah, or a feet of any, it's insane, right? From now on, it's just fucking facts. - Facts, yeah, it's only facts. - You did get the facts one, right? - Whoa. - You got the guessing ones, right? - Yeah. - Yeah. - I think you ruined my Halloween, dude. (laughing) - I think this is the worst Halloween ever. - Oh my. - Yeah, no, I'm being real. You ruined anything. - Yeah, yeah. - Do you think you're excited about getting this year? - No, because of access to all the candy I want. - Not me. This is the only time we are allowed to have it in the house. - Really? So what are you looking for, too? - The Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are shaped like pumpkins. - Mmm. - It's my favorites. What are you excited about this year? - Um, sneakers. (laughing) - Don't. - No. - Don't do it. (laughing) - Nothing. - Nothing. - Nothing. - What? - Dax. (laughing) - Nerds gummy clusters. - That makes sense. How do you like that? - Like a sour gel or some sort, you know. - Just gel. - Yeah. - A packet of sour gel. - I went to, um, in Perbank, there's a horror museum. - I'm sorry. (laughing) - Really with the sneakers. - Yeah. - It's like, it's right there. - It's raining. (laughing) - Yeah. - I mean, last year, what reminds you of something? (laughing) - Snickers, but I only like the king size. (laughing) - You're a fucking perverver. - Perverous. - Perverous. - You don't even like Snickers, you perver. (laughing) - And what rule of skating again last night by myself? - Why are you doing that? - I don't know. - Invite someone to come with you. - No. - Why are you going solo skating? 'Cause what if you fall again and get hurt? - I did fall a couple of times. And then I fell once I got up and then there's a, he abs into me black. He's a referee outfit on. And he goes, keep it moving. - Yeah, you did well, you can't. - I'm like, I literally got the win knocked out of me. Give me a second. - Keep it moving. - Well, you got it, you gotta get up and go man. There's a whole thing going on. - I know. And then you gotta put your thumbs up to see if you're all right. - Were you okay? - So when you slam, you have to go like this. (laughing) - That's so humiliating. - That's how they know you're not hurt. - I'm okay, I'm okay. - Was it your first time since the incident? - No, I've been going by myself. - Training. - Yeah. - It's never gonna happen again. You're never gonna fall again on it. - It's the most lonesome human experience you could ever have. - You put on headphones? - No, I'm just skating around. There's this nine-year-old Japanese man. He's one foot backwards. - Wow. - Yeah, he's killing it, right? And it's just like, I'm gonna, this is, yeah, this is my life. - You're that guy? - No family, nobody. - Stop it. - You can invite so many people that would love to come skating. - No, it's gonna go skating on a muddy night. - Sure, that's a mama. - I'm not gonna go with your mom. - Why not? - She would fall over like a coconut and it'd explode on the fuck. (laughing) Coconut meat all over the place. There's no way. (laughing) - Coconut skate sash. - Yeah, yeah. - Pump, pump, pump, coconut skate sash. - No, there's something, I like it because it kind of like, it's like when you watch a movie by yourself and stuff, you're like, I'm okay being myself. I don't need anybody. I don't want to be in a situation where I'm like, I need somebody to make me feel whole. I want to be able to do it on my own. It's a little depressing, but I got to get prepared because I don't have any children. So it's like, I have to be prepared that. - You're gonna die alone? - At the end, you know what I mean? It's gonna be. - We're all gonna die alone. - Well, you're gonna have friends and family around. - So will you? - Yeah, that Japanese man from the roller rink maybe. - He'll be, we'll long gone, my friend. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But, right tax, what do you think? - The dying alone. - No, but I'm just saying, do you feel comfortable just being by myself, like eating a meal by yourself? - I do, but it sounds like you're not sure about it. - Oh, wow, explore that. - Would you rather be alone? A lot of the time. Do you long for a partner at all? - Yes, yeah. Are you on the hunt? I did go on a hinge date last night. - What are we talking, where'd you go? - You went bar. - What bar? - Bigfoot Lodge. - Oh, a love bigfoot Lodge. - A beer. - What did she order? - They, sorry. - They, I think she went by she. - Okay. What did she order? She heard they. - A cider? - A little cider. - Yeah. - Give me the conversation. What was it? - What kind of things do you do for fun and? - Were you intrigued? - Was she pretty? - She was pretty. - Were you looking pretty? - I don't, I don't know yet. - What did you wear? - A black shirt and some jeans. - That's pretty. - Thanks. - What are you always wearing? - Yes. - Did you make a move? - No. - You give her a hug? - Yes. - Now, do you make a move when you see a sign? Or is it a good instinct thing with you? What is it? - It's really hard. Yeah. First kiss is such a hard thing to know how to do. - Do you ever ask? Do you just show hate? - Yeah. - Kind of want to kiss you. - Yeah. - No, no. - Oh, you've never said no. - I close his every fucking time. - You're a close, man. You're a fucking close. - I'm a pretty girl, ask me for a kiss. Hey, it's such a fun time tonight. - Do you want a kiss? - Oh. - That's how direct you are. - That was pretty fast. - Oh, I would, I guess so. - I mean, I'm wet, but that was fast. - You know, that's interesting. I don't do that because I'm too scared to ask. - I honestly believe that, like, I had to have a couple of signs before I go in. - What are the signs? - I have to know, like, if they're like. (laughing) - Baseball sign? - Yeah. (laughing) - No. - Oh, oh, oh. - Yeah, no, I, um, they have to be touching me a lot. - A lot of touching. - Right, right. And then, it's just the way they look at me. - How do they look at you? - Oh, well, they see that, that's a white girl. - Yeah. (laughing) - She is. - Yeah, man, and then I'm like, I think it's on. - What's your signal to move in for a kiss? - I can't, I can't tell, that's why. - So you say, can I have a kiss? - Yeah. - Or would you like a kiss? How do you phrase it? - I don't remember the last, I think the last two times where they actually asked. - What do they say? - Should we kiss or something? - Do you say yes, right away or do you go, sure? - Yeah. - You say, yeah, I want to? - Yeah. - Have you ever said the words like, have you ever said I love you to somebody? - Yes, yes. - You've been in love. - Yeah, yeah. - And what happened? - We broke up. (laughing) - That's what happened. - That's funny. - So sorry. - Why do you think you broke up? - Oh, well, I think she just wasn't sure what, like needed to figure out life or something. - She did, yeah. - 'Cause you've got to figure it out? - No, I mean, but I didn't feel like I needed to break up. - So you said, you said to her, I love you, and then she said, let's break up. - I mean, how fast did that? - Oh, not in the moment. - Oh, okay, okay. - 'Cause she had said it back before, yeah, yeah. - What do you mean? - Like she had said, like we had been saying it for months. - She said it first. - Me. - Say it to me. - As if you're her back then. - Anybody. - Someone I love, I love you. - I don't believe it. - I don't believe you. - I don't believe you either, do it again. - You want me to do it to you? - I'd love to. Lock me in the eyes, 'cause don't dart your little eyes away. Look at me eyes. - I love you. - Who's she, who's that, wait, who's that? - I'm Chiang. - Oh, bitch, yeah. - Hi, I'm Chiang. Can we all get in? Can we all get in, thanks? - I love you. - I believe it. - I believe that. You like Chiang better than the other one. - Yeah. - You do have an Asian fetish. (laughing) - What, do you want a keys? - Oh, yes. - Do you go close mouth-worth or do you open? - Tongue it. - Closed. - Tongue it. - What if she tries to dart her little tongue inside your mouth? What do you do? - Then I would probably accept that. - Yeah, you got to take that. - I feel like guys have to adapt to her and not the other way around. - Of course. - But why? - 'Cause we're lucky they want to do stuff with us. - Right. - That's insane. - Stingsley know, "Okay, this is her style." - 'Cause you've seen guys. You look at what a man looks like. They don't want to do it. Why would they want to do anything with us? It's insane. - No, but in terms of when you first lock lips-- - If you were seeing you naked, you fully naked in the mirror. - Oh yeah, it's horrifying. - No, I'm not saying you. I just don't have a man in general. What are you guys whispering? - What are you whispering? - I called you an insult for saying that and then he said you are a performative male.
It's just back in the room talk like back of the classroom talk we can see you. Yeah, it's like in school. They can see it's like I'm a performative male What does that mean Matt McCone pull it up? I mean kind of like the old like when you'd like pretend to be like Reading or like crying in your cars tend to be like deep you like matcha. Yeah But like performing a thing for it. So he's a performative male. It's like a meme now. Yeah, Bobby's like exactly that guys are trying to look mysterious They're like, you know like they're oh, yeah, I'm performative. I'm performing Just I don't think that's a bad thing. It's I'm performative. There are worse things. Yeah, I think it is negative It is a negative thing and um, there will be revenge Do y'all have first kiss advice? Yeah, I do get permission And people usually say start slow Go as fast and hard as you can tongue as much tongue and you hold their ears grip their fucking ears No, I'm not imagine it's honeycomb and you're a bear. You're a bear And you got to see a beehive sniff. I'm good. You open up a hole. You stick your fucking bear tongue in there And you get all the honey and sometimes in the middle of a kiss go Yeah, like a bear like yeah Yeah, be a bear goes is that a bear no? I don't know Really close your eyes you're in the woods, okay? Ghost of a bear it's a ghost bear obviously ghost. Yeah, yeah kissing advice. Let's give him kissing advice at the exact same time one two three You got to go Just on the contrary we give him advice at the same time one two more like whoa more like how to Initiate it rather than the mechanic We're gonna do simultaneously see if you can pick up some notes ready one two three you gotta lock eyes with them And then you know me grab the back of her head and then you just dark your face right into the face You're in and then you open your mouth and you dark dark dark dark dark dark with your tongue right And if you go, you got to keep going I'll keep going keep going keep going keep going keep going until she's done Okay, thank you and then say thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being a bad friend say it louder Thank you for being a bad friend do it like Morgan Freeman Thank you for being a bad friend Yeah
PodcastTranscript AI