Roxie Nafousi on How To Manifest Confidence & Money, and Why Your Pyjamas Are Keeping You Broke
1h 14m 19s
The speaker shares her journey of overcoming body dysmorphia and deep-seated insecurities, using self-awareness, therapy, and medication to build genuine self-worth. She emphasizes that confidence and manifestation stem from internal belief—not external validation—and that true self-worth allows one to manifest all areas of life, including love and personal fulfillment. Her seven-step manifestation method focuses on clarity of vision, inner healing, behavioral alignment, embracing challenges as tests, cultivating gratitude, transforming envy into inspiration, and ultimately trusting the process. She highlights that fear of being seen often originates in childhood conditioning and that being seen is about serving others, not personal gain. The practice of manifestation is not magic or passive wishing—it’s a daily commitment to mindset, action, and self-trust. She notes that successful women often excel in career abundance but struggle with love due to unprocessed beliefs about self-worth. By turning envy into inspiration and aligning daily actions with desired identity, individuals can create a life of authenticity and joy. Her personal story of falling in love after years of addiction and self-doubt underscores that transformation requires vulnerability, healing, and consistent practice. This approach is accessible, practical, and grounded in psychology, offering a path for anyone seeking to live a more confident, purposeful, and joyful life.
I will not be filmed from this side of my face. I had Botox and I tried all these different things, but I was convinced that people would be distracted by how ugly I was because I have body dysmorphia disorder. I remember someone saying to me, "Healing is a lifelong journey." And I was like, "Well, then what the fuck is the point?" When your life begins to transform before your eyes, that feels magical. That is why I am an expert in manifestation and confidence. A lot of successful women can manifest incredible abundance at work, but they cannot manifest love. Yes, there's a man that I was dating before my husband. Put his feet onto my lap in front of his mother and ask me to massage his feet. That was like, "Bubby, I am better than this." Yeah. Really? Love it. Let's go. You have seven clear steps to manifest your dreamlike. So step one is there out, your wardrobe. And the reason is not what you think as women, money is the ability to walk out of any room that I am no longer respected in it. What is the first step to start making money off of something you're genuinely passionate about? If people did nothing else, but they would change that whole experience of life. You love. Just hit the subscribe button below and thank you. In case you missed it, you're allowed to be hot, smart, and rich, so let's get into it. Roxie and Fussi, are you ready to get hot, my rich? I am. So someone's just clicked into this conversation. They don't know who you are. What would you tell them to get them to stay but what we're going to talk about today? Well, I am an expert in manifestation and confidence. And everything that I teach, I am also practising myself. I came from my own rock bottom, having suffered 10 years of addiction to cocaine and alcohol. I turned my life around and I'm really proud to say my seven-step manifestation method has been read by millions of people now across the world because it works. And so I hope that at the end of this episode, everybody is going to leave feeling inspired, motivated, ready to make change. And hopefully I've shared something about my personal story that they can also relate to and that might make them feel less alone. I love so many things that you just said, but also just calling yourself an expert because some of the things that I've seen in the UK in general as people are so afraid to share who they really are and be confident in that. It's so funny because I've never described myself that way before. What was it about this show that led you to just be like, yes, you know what I'm turning 36 in a couple of weeks? And I would say that from the moment I turned 35, I felt this new sense of confidence in grounding. And I feel like every time I do an interview throughout this whole year, I feel like I'm just so much more able to own who I am. And I feel like I can sit in here. You know, before if I'd come in a podcast, it was so many like nerves. And it's like actually to be able to sit down, I talked to someone who I respect so much and I love what you do and I love your podcast. And actually I feel like no, I deserve to be here. That's a really nice place to be and something that I didn't experience for a lot of my life. And so I feel able to say it and be like, no, I'm proud to be able to say that. I think women need to hear that and be able to like see expanders and see people talking about themselves in that way and be like, wait, if she can do that, I can do that too. So I have made a promise to my community that if they listen to these episodes in full, this is what I believe, based on knowing a little bit more about you, that they will be able to take away. So what I believe that you will learn if you listen to this episode in full is that you will know your worth. You will do the inner work. You will know how to do the inner work. And you will be able to manifest the life that you actually deserve. Is that a fair assumption that we can promise to my audience today? - That's a fucking lovely. - Love it. - Let's go. Okay, so we can't start this episode without talking with the fact that I am for the first time sitting on the opposite chair. - Yes. - I love new things and I love pushing myself. But let me just ask you the question, why am I sitting in this chair today? - Okay. - Firstly, thank you. So I, part of my story, suppose, is that I have suffered from body dysmorphia disorder since I was young. So body dysmorphia disorder is a form of OCD, an obsessive-compulsive disorder. And it really is around the way that you look or a perceived flaw. So it can be about your body, but for me, it was about my face. And it is different to just feeling self-conscious or having a day where you don't feel like you look good, because it's a ruminating thought. It becomes a fixation. And it is debilitating. And when I first got into this career, I, for example, I used to do webinars and I would do all my webinars teaching my seven-step method with my camera off because, and it was audio-only, because I was convinced that people would be too distracted by how ugly I was. Then I, the book came out and I started doing podcasts. I started doing interviews on TV. And because I had such a deep hatred of myself, I mean, I really like it's hard for me to even describe to someone who hasn't got BDD, but it is a constant. You feel embarrassed for someone to look at you, because you feel like they must be as revolted as I am. You know if you see something that disgusts you, and you know that feeling of disgust, but imagine having it every time you look in the mirror. Every time you see yourself on camera. And so when I would do all these interviews, I would have crazy panic attacks beforehand. Then I'd be able to think the reason I pushed through is because I was like, there's a greater message here, and it's not about me and my fears. This is about who I can serve on the other side. So I knew I'd be grateful that I did it, so I kept pushing through. What happened was years into all of this work. I'd built quite a lot of success for myself, I'd manifested this incredible life. I was feeling confident in what I could offer the world in the way that I was as a person, but every time I wasn't working, I was thinking about how I get what I was. Look, it's all I could think about. I'd had a rhinoplasty in 2021, and then I had Botox, and I had skin boosters, and I tried all these different things, and on the outside I did look different, but in my head I was still monstrous. And so I had all this success, but I wasn't able to enjoy it, because you are so debilitated with this looping thought that I'm disgusting. I'm disgusting. And so I went on medication in 2024, and it was a meditation. This is an anti-anxiety drug. It's called "Sertraline in the UK." I think it's Zoloft in the US, and that was life-changing for me, truly life-changing. It just lessened the looping thoughts, and then with the work of therapy and CBT, and all the other methods that I teach in my confidence book, I was able to actually be able to have my picture taken and be in front of a camera. However, I only feel comfortable on one side of my face. I don't like to look at this side of my face, and I think at some level, I just came to a point of acceptance that I feel most confident on this side, and this for me, I don't, I want to make myself, push myself out of my comfort zone, but also I don't want to put myself in situations that will trigger the BDD again. Do I wish I was comfortable on both sides? Absolutely. I would love to say that, but I think I'm really proud of how far I've come, and I'm going to give myself some grace that. I'm putting in measures that make me feel most comfortable now. I love that. It was the longest time I've ever felt. I think that a lot of women will relate to what you said. Maybe not to the extreme, but even to myself. I actually don't like this side of my face. Not in the way for you, but I even remember when your public says, told my team, I was like, no, like all just message rocksy, like for sure. And then when I heard about what it was, I was like, oh, I completely understand that this is not just like a personal preference. This is something that has probably captured a part of you for a very long time. And that's why I really wanted you to talk about. And I wanted to ask you like, have you ever told your audience why they only see one side of your face? No, I suppose I. I didn't know if anyone would notice, so I kind of just didn't mention it. It's a hard thing to talk about because it comes across as vanity. And so there was this real fear of judgment of like, oh my God, everyone's gonna think I'm just so vain and this and that, but it's so much greater than that. The reason I think it is important to talk about is, as you say, I think actually a lot of women can relate to it. It might not be to this extreme, but for some people it is, I didn't know I had BDD until 2023. And finding out and realizing that it was not just me being vain or me being really self-conscious. It gave me so much peace because I was like, okay, there's a reason for this and there's something I can do about it. I even got a message.
this morning from the community, one of the angels, and she was like, "I have a really important question for you. I have an amazing idea to build a business. You always talk about personal branding, and you have experts like Gen U1. We give them the formulas and the frameworks to build these incredible personal brands. And our world feels impossible to build a business or a brand when you have a fear of being seen." So for that person who's like, "I just don't want to be seen. What can you tell them about what it has done to transform your life since you have taken the steps to be seen, to be known for your incredible work? How has that impacted your life?" Oh my God. I think sometimes I think that fear of being seen, we have to recognize it's not actually our fear. It's something that was put onto us through whatever experiences we had, but it's not actually ours. And so we do have the power to let it go and to change it. And I think that the truth is, without being seen, how can we unlock our fullest potential? You know, it is impossible. And I also think that as to kind of what I touched on earlier is that whatever it business you have, whatever personal brand you want to build, there is someone you want to serve on the other side. And you have to make that at the forefront of your mind. Like, being seen isn't for you. Being seen is to serve someone else. And that's what I, every time I've been self-conscious, every time I've been nervous to go on stage, it's, this isn't actually about me. It's about who I can help. And so when you are thinking, "Oh my God, I'm too scared to post something on social media, I want you to think to yourself, there is somebody who's going to look at this video and it's going to help them, it's going to give them inspiration, it's going to entertain them, it's going to give them what they need to do, what they need to do." And when that becomes your driving force, actually, it's so much easier to let those insecurities and limiting beliefs kind of wash away. So now let's talk about manifesting. For anybody that doesn't know manifesting or hears this buzz word, what is manifesting? Okay, so manifesting, my definition, is using the power of your mind to change and create the reality you're experiencing. And to manifest really means to make it happen. And the misconceptions around manifesting are that it's about wishful thinking, it's about visualizing what you want and waiting for it to happen. And I think that it gets a really bad reputation because of everything that you see on TikTok and the way that people are kind of using this word in like so casually in sentences, they're like, oh my god, I just manifested this coffee, like I manifested this handbag or whatever it is. And I think that what happens is when a word gets like overused and it becomes a trend, it becomes really devalued. But actually manifesting has been around for centuries and it's rooted in self-development, wisdom, science, spirituality, psychology. And for me, manifestation is like the umbrella and all healing and self-development actually sits underneath it. Because when you think about it, if you listen to any great thinker, philosopher, whoever it is, they are all talking about manifestation. But they're not using the word. They're all talking about the power of the mind. And that's what this is. It's the power of the mind to think differently, but not only that, behave differently. Take action in a different way. You know, for me, manifesting is yes, it's about self-worth, but it's also about aligning your behavior. It's about how you persist through challenges and overcome them. It's about embracing an abundant mindset and having an attitude of gratitude. It's one of my steps is turn envy into inspiration. It's a really full practice. And it's not woo-woo, you know? Yes, there is a spiritual side to it. And if you are so inclined, you can lean into that side, but there are plenty of people that come to my work who are so skeptical. Don't believe in any of that kind of stuff. And they love it because they're like, oh, it's actually really practical. It's actually really action-based. What is manifesting not? It's not wishful thinking. It's not visualization and waiting for it to happen and it's not magic. I always say like manifesting isn't magical, but it sure is how feels magical. You know, when your life begins to transform before your eyes and all these weird moments and serendipity and coincidences come into your life, that feels magical, but it's not. It's the power of you. 72% of 18 to 24 year olds right now believe in manifestation. I love that. And I would say this is the generation that's having one of the hardest times in terms of like building real finances, like being able to buy into like whether it's a real estate market or not feeling the pressure of where we are in society. Why do you think that is? Well, I think because manifestation gives people hope. And so I think that they are much more likely. And the reason I think that the timing of when I kind of came to manifesting and released the book was really kind of so aligned in the most kind of strange way, but we'd just gone through a pandemic. And after the pandemic, there was all this uncertainty much like the younger generation have now. Uncertainty, they don't feel confident in their government. They don't feel confident in their futures. They don't know what's going to happen. And so manifesting comes along and it says, Hey, you can get back in the driving seat in your own life. You can have agency again. There's actually there's plenty that you can't control, but the things that you can you should. And I think that's what makes manifesting so appealing to that generation and what made it so appealing to people in 2022 when this book came out. Even for myself, I know that the data is that in times like hard times, even educational content does well because people are actually looking for solutions. My favorite businesses are built in a recession, like look at Airbnb, very similar thing. Like people would never have opened up their home to rent to a stranger had they not needed the money after a recession. But that's so interesting. So interesting. So I always feel like when there is a time of fear, it is actually the time of opportunity. Yeah, especially now in the world with AI, but you have very seven clear steps to manifest your dream life. So someone that's listening to this, we're trying to get you to be like, yep, this is what I want to do. I have no idea how to start to manifest. What do they do? Step one. Okay, so step one is be clearing your vision. So you can't get where you want to go if you don't know where it is you are headed. And when you are looking at step one, I talk about things like visualization meditations because essentially neuroscience tells us that when we prime our subconscious with really clear visualizations with mental rehearsal, what we start to do is we start to filter out any unwanted information and we start to see opportunities that are aligned with our goals because our brains want to kind of like make true what we are telling it. And so you're essentially are priming your mind to find what you are looking for, to get you closer to that goal. I also recommend in step people do vision boards, but a lot of people when they're doing vision boards, like really they're just creating pretty mood boards. A vision board should be a really specific representation of what you want from your life. And I think that in any case, really being able to stop and ask yourself, what do I really want from my life? And not just I suggest people categorise their vision boards. So what do I want in my career? What do I want in my relationships, my romantic relationships? What do I want my friendships and family life to be like? What do I want my home to be like? How do I want to grow as a person over the next six months? Yeah, this is really important because people like they might think, okay, I want to manifest and they might have one goal and it's a career goal. And it's like, your whole life isn't actually just your career. We need to build a full life. And so we need to think about all these different areas of our life and stop and ask yourself, like, what, how much of it would be different to the life I'm living now? And if so, how? And I think that even if you didn't do anything else, that is going to really enable you to start making change. But that is the first step. A lot of people think the manifesting starts and ends there. You do your visualisation, you make your vision board, and then you sit back. But there's still six steps to go. Tell me you're through them. Yes. So step two is when we're feeling doubt. So this is, you know, really the core of the whole practice because you cannot manifest when you don't believe you are worthy of receiving. And more importantly, even like we said earlier, even if you receive it, you won't be able to hold onto it. You know, there's so many things that you can do day-to-day, whether it's using affirmations, changing the way you speak to yourself, changing the language you use when you're talking out loud. But also this is really where the inner work comes in. In a child work therapy, there are so many different types of healing modalities that you can use to help you really essentially just come back to the belief that you are enough as you are. That's kind of fundamentally where you want to end up. I would have 1000% agree with you. And I think that like it holds so many people back in that internal locus of control, like thinking things are happening to you and things are really happening for you. Yes. So now we need to do step number three, which is what? Step three is align your behaviour. So align your behaviour is aligning your behaviour with the person you want to become and the life that you want to live. And actually I should have said
earlier that really the most important question of manifesting when we are in step one, actually isn't what can I have, it's who can I be? And I think that really this is about becoming the most empowered version of yourself that you can be, so that you make things happen. And that really feeds into this step three is, okay, how could one of the daily choices that you're making, one of the habits you're committing to, what do your routines look like and how are they supporting who you want to be and the things that you want to achieve in your life? And I would say that this is what makes manifestation a really proactive practice. This is all about stepping outside your comfort zone. It's about just fucking going for it. Do you know what I mean? And giving yourself that discipline and that kick up the arse when you need to, to just go and get the things that you want. And I think that when I speak to people, I always say, you probably have a dream in your mind and you know two or three things that you need to do to get there, but you're currently not doing them because you're still being confined by your insecurities, by your fear and doubt. So aligning up behavior is really asking you, if fear and doubt weren't standing in your way, what would you do and how can you do that despite, despite it being there and actually in doing it, you're able to find that confidence that you were searching for. I even read something very interesting about what you said about this step was leveling up your wardrobe, looking at Rosie Huntington Whitely. Yeah. So I just talked about this about having wardrobe rage. And in my 20s, I was so focused on building businesses that like what I was wearing and how I showed up was not a focus for me, truthfully. I felt like I wasn't showing up as the leader that I actually wanted to be for this company hot smart rich to fulfill what I believe that it can do. And it's so funny because again, I feel like people's number one question they ask me is how have you 180ed your life. And sometimes when I answer with something as trivial as like visualizing a wardrobe change, people roll their eyes at that. And I'm like, you might not want to hear that, but it is true. And so I think walk us through some of the more trivial things that go with aligning your behavior that actually make a difference to someone that's listening to this. Okay. Well, I love this wardrobe one because I think that everything in your home is energy, right? And so I generally speak about letting go as being a big part of the manifestation process. So letting go of old beliefs that are no longer serving you, letting go of the things you thought you should want, letting go of people that are holding you back. But it's also letting go of things that are keeping you stuck in the past. And I think that your home has an abundance of those, right? You have things in your cupboards that you have had for fucking years that you never use or that remind you of a time maybe that you didn't work so happy or as confident as you are. And so in general, I love like a home clear out, but specifically the wardrobe. You know, when you go into your wardrobe and you are thinking about what to wear for the day, you really want to be thinking about like, not what do I have, like, who do I want to show up as today, you know, today, do I want to show up? And by the way, women, we are multifaceted, okay? So we have so many different sides of ourselves that all deserve to be expressed. So do I want to show up today as someone who is sexy and feminine and that is the side of me I want to express today, or do I want to show up today as a CEO, do I want to show up today as the effortless cool girl, like how do I want to show up and what do I want to feel when I walk out of the door and when I walk into a room of people. And your wardrobe should absolutely reflect who you want to become. So when I did it, I did my first big wardrobe. I thought at this point, I didn't know who I wanted, like, my best self and looking back, I should have done it at about, I did it about Rosie Hanson-Whiteley, because I just think she's the sheikest person alive. But in hindsight, she'd have done it about myself, which is like, if I visualise my best self, so I would recommend people do that. So like, visualise your future self, who you want, when you close your eyes and you imagine the best you that you can be, I want you to then look through your wardrobe with that visualisation in mind and pick, look at everything and think, what does my future self wear this? And if the answer is no, or if you're even hesitating, I would resell austerity. And then start to build a wardrobe that really represents the person that you want to become. Even like my pajamas, right? People have their pajamas for fucking years, right? And I realise, like, I'm happiest in my pajamas at home. So let me make them like sheik and cosy and make me feel good about myself. Like, why am I only investing in clothes I'm wearing out? I should also invest in at the home, the clothes I wear at home, make me feel good, like I respect myself. Hot take incoming. Making more money as a creator doesn't actually require you to have more followers. I see so many creators getting this wrong. 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You get 30 nights to try it at home with the option to return it if you don't love it. But I promise you, if you are an HSR girly, you're going to love it. I'm obsessed with it. So give it a shot. The next one I kind of leads into, which is those will all not do well at the same time. And there will be things that will feel like a roller coaster. So that I would love for you to explain like what does tests from the universe really mean. So when I talk about the universe, I'm talking about like a greater power. And to me, I believe in the power of energy, like the whole universe is made up of energy and I believe that it has this power. For some people, the universe is God. Okay. They believe in God as the greater power. They might believe in a spiritual realm. So use whatever works for you, but I'll use the term universe. So I believe that when we are on our way to our goals, the universe will send us tests. And these tests are really there to ask us, how were they do really think you are of receiving this thing that you want? And tests can come in two forms. They can come in the form of challenges and obstacles or they can come in the form of something that asks you to settle for less than you actually deserve and desire. When people learn to manifest, I say life is not suddenly going to be perfect. Like I'm not painting you this like full stream that you'll learn to manifest and then all the doors are going to open and life's going to be like plain sailing. Like of course, it's not. Life is always going to come with these, you know, with grief and rejection and hardship and uncertainty, but it's how you persist through those times and how you grow through them that really determines where you end up. So when I think about challenges now, I have a completely different perspective on it. And I think that's why this step has always been my favourite because when I think about the times in the last few years where I've had, you know, I've had so much rejection. I've had so many periods of times where I've felt like, oh my god, things are going backwards or I've had grief or whatever it is. What is different about when I experience that now to pre-manifesting is that now I'm never hopeless. Like I never reach that point and I think, oh, it's proof it's not going to work. For me, I'm like, okay, so when we think about being positive, okay, and like people think about positivity as being happy all the time, right? For me, that's toxic positivity. I don't think it's possible to be happy all the time. Safety and optimism to me is knowing that even on the dark days, better days are coming. And so when I'm in this period of struggle, I know that there is reward on the other side every time, like without fail. And actually, I think everyone listening knows that too. You know that think back to any time you've had in your life that was just so heartbreaking.
that was so at the time you just couldn't make sense of it. It was so challenging. And then think about the moment afterwards, where you were at some point, it might have been a year after, it might have been months, it might have been five years, where you weren't, I think, got it happen that way, because look at where I am now. And so we always know that there is this reward, there's this level up, there's this kind of incredible beauty to be found on the other side of challenge. And that's what this step is all about. But I said also it's about not settling. So the really the easiest example of this is like in dating. So you know, we say we want healthy love, we want someone that's going to respect us, that's going to be committed to us, that's going to be consistent with us. And then we're wasting time with these situationships that aren't going anywhere. That is a test from the universe. You know, I think we've got to remember, we only have like a finite amount of time and energy. Okay, it's not infinite. We don't have an infinite resource of them. And so we have to use them wisely. Like who are you spending your time in? Where is your energy being spent? And is it on things that you actually think are serving your best self and the best life that you can live? Or is it taking up space? And when you recognize that something is taking up space where it doesn't really, it shouldn't be, I think we clear. We create this gap and this space for something better to come into our lives. The most viral episode I have found someone else's podcast was when I talked about this man that I was dating before my husband. Yeah. And it was the most insane story that always goes viral because the last time I saw him, I was going over to meet his mom. And I thought it was like meeting the parents. That's where we're going on paper. This name was perfect. He was in the shower when I got there. So I met his mom at the door. They had already eaten dinner when they told me it was dinner. He had given his mom flowers for International Women's Day with a quote that I had actually sent him that morning of like strong women raised strong men. And there was flowers to his mom on the counter with that exact quote signed with his name. He didn't send me anything for International Women's Day. And then when he finally came down the stairs, he legitimately sat on the couch, put his feet onto my lap in front of his mother and asked me to massage his feet. And I was sitting there thinking, this can't really be happening to me. And so up until this point, I had only dated men that I would excuse that because on paper, these people are perfect. But they can match my ambition. They can give me the power couple dynamic. I'm looking for. And I was thinking to myself, how quickly can I get out of this house and never see this person again? Because I am so much worth so much more than this. And when I finally was the one that was like, bye-bye, I am better than this. I said yes to a date with my husband that next week or a week after. And I always use that as a stupid example as to like when you finally say no to what you are not deserving of, the right opportunity comes. Absolutely. The universe rewards you. I love that. Like I was like smiling all the way because I'm like, it's such a perfect example of it. But you have to get to that point. And it's like if you had met your husband before you got to that point in yourself, would you have appreciated it? Would you have been able to hold it and be ready for it? Like you had to get to that point. And when you do, then the universe, the universe is looking out for you. Like the universe, God, whatever it is, it is looking out for you. It wants the best for you. Sometimes we think life is unfair. Like no, life wants to be good to you. You just got to let it. So then we have step five is embrace gratitude. So I call it the manifesting sweet spot, which is knowing what you want whilst being entirely grateful for all you already have. So gratitude is a very high vibrational frequency. And you know, there's a great quote which says, "A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles." And I think it just sums this up so perfectly. I would say that, look, if people did nothing else but they bought a gratitude practice into their life, they would change their whole experience of life. This step is the secret to happiness because I have started doing this like disclaimer on manifestation, which is that manifesting your goals won't make you happy because we all know we've got to a goal and then we're happy for a minute and then we move on to the next goal. And that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. Goals are good for us. It gives us forward momentum. It gives us a reason to get up in the morning. It gives us purpose, drive. They're amazing and it's good to have something to work towards. We don't want to be stagnant in life. We want to be moving forward. But that's not what makes us happy. What makes us happy, I believe, is being able to appreciate life's simple pleasures. It's being able to romanticize your life. You know, the morning coffee, the sound of the birds, the walk hand in hand with your partner or your child, the sound of laughter, the playing, you know, playing cards with my siblings is like my happiest moment. And it's putting together so many of these tiny ordinary moments of joy that you create a happy life. And when I developed my manifest app for having that gratitude capture was the most important thing for me because I want people to actively remember to capture these tiny moments of joy so that you actually change the way that you see the world. Now we are. Okay, then step six. Yes. It's ten ambient inspiration. So, envy comes from a scarcity mindset that there's not enough to go around. And I think especially a lot of your audience will know this feeling when we are trying to build something for ourselves. There's so much at stake. Okay, and so it's really easy to look at other people doing similar things and to feel that kind of pang of envy. What's really interesting about envy is we hold a lot of shame around it. The problem is when we don't admit that we feel envy, it comes out as judgment. Okay, so let's say we. someone really confident walks in the room and it's so easy to be like, "Oh, they're so up themselves." Right? But actually, is that just envy in disguise? I think so. And so envy actually is something that we can use to show us what we desire or what still needs healing within us because we are only envious about things that we want. Right? We're not envious. Like if someone told you they were like, they just want a fishing competition. Like you're probably not going to feel envious. Right? But if someone told you that they've just got a promotion at the same workplaces, you're probably going to feel a pang. And so envy is actually something that we should not feel shame around. We should be aware of. We should use it to show us what we desire or what needs healing. And then we can go a step further and we can turn into inspiration. And inspiration comes from an abundant mindset. It says, "You have something and I can have it too. There's enough for us all." And actually seeking to be inspired is a really powerful manifestation tool. How do you do that in practice though? Like I feel jealous. What is my next step? So notice the pang and firstly have compassion around it. Okay? It's okay that I feel this way. Maybe it's even a friend. That's when it's the worst. You think I'm a bad person. A friend's just told you something and I feel a pang of jealousy. Maybe they're told you they're getting married and you're still single and you're thinking when's it ever going to happen for me? Okay. I've got this thought. Now how can I turn that to an inspired thought? Let's say it's the friend getting married. Okay. So instead of I can't believe they're getting married and I'm still single, typical. I'm going to be the last one. We're going to change that into it is so beautiful to see love exists in the world. I cannot wait until that happens for me. Okay. So it could be someone's on holiday and they're really fancy hotel and you're like, "Oh my God, they're always on holiday. You know, they don't even have a job. You know, it's sad. You can pause and be like, you know what? That's really reminded me that I am so in need of adventure, of travel. In fact, this face looks so good, I'm going to add it to my vision board. So it's a really simple mindset shift. Okay. So now we have figured out how to turn envy into inspiration. Yes. What is the last step? Trust in the universe. So this is about surrender and it's about letting go. And I think that when people think about manifesting maybe they think it's about controlling everything but it's really not. And actually the biggest mistake that people make on their manifesting journey is they've become desperately obsessed with their goals. And this obsession really can easily turn into desperation. Now desperation comes from fear and doubt. It comes with the very things that are blocking you from having what you want. And it comes because often we are emotionally attaching to an outcome. So we think when I'm in a relationship then I'll be loved. When I'm successful, then I'll be enough. When I'm rich, then I'll be happy. And when we put this emotional expectation on an outcome, we feel like we need it. I need to get this job. I need to make this much money. I need this partner. And when you need something and you become desperate for it, you actually, I believe really lower your vibration and you block it because you're trying to force something. When you grip so tightly, you don't allow things to flow. And actually you become resistant to the very thing that you're trying to manifest. And so the most powerful thing you can do to kind of like glue all these steps together. And I always say it's like my goal thus on the manifesting process is know what you want
and then let it go. It's about going, for example, I think there's this thing I want to achieve. I'm so excited for when it happens, but I know that I'm already enough. I'm already successful. I'm already of value in the world. I love who I am now. When I get that thing, it's just going to be so cool and I'm so excited for who I'm going to become on the journey of getting there. Is manifesting easier based on what you want? No, I think that manifesting is not a ritual. It's not something that is someone's good at or they're not good at. It is a way of living. These seven steps, it's just how you approach your life. You approach it with some clarity and where you're headed. You approach it with a commitment to your own healing journey and self-awareness. You approach it with a desire to show up in the best possible way with resilience and a grit when you need it, with an attitude of gratitude and a willingness to surrender to the journey. That is just a mindset and a way of being. When you do that, it really becomes effortless. I want to ask a lot about self-worth because I think a lot of women don't understand the difference between that and with confidence. If you could break down what is self-worth and what is confidence and how they may be relate, what would that be? In my latest bit, the confidence is that's knowing your worth. I use the word confidence because I think everybody knows that they want to feel more confident, but I think that when people think about confidence, they think about being an extra bird or they think about being the loudest person in the room or they think about being able to stand up for themselves. Yes, I think part of it is that, but actually for me, true confidence is knowing that your worth was never up for discussion. True confidence, actually the foundation of it is self-worth. Self-worth is really the core of everything. It's the core of how you feel about yourself, how you show up in the world, but it's also the core of manifestation because we can only manifest what we subconsciously believe we are worthy of receiving. So self-worth is about knowing that you are inherently enough as you are, that you are deserving of love and abundance and success. I think that what is so important when we are in pursuit of greatness or change, if we don't believe we are worthy of it, even when we have it, we won't be able to hold onto it. So we might reach that goal and then we'll sabotage it, we'll fuck it up because on a deep level, we actually don't believe we're worthy of having it. I am an extremely confident person, a lot of the time, and then some of the time, I'm actually very not. So I'll be honest, I'm extremely confident in real life. In no matter what situation you put me into, it could be with a group of 50, 50 year old men and I will own that room in person. Online, I would say I'm actually a very fragile, delicate person where I have fear of posting, I have fear of being seen, I have fear of being misunderstood. Can you be a confident person and not have yourself worth up for discussion, but in different environments or different even formats, feel insecure. Oh my gosh, of course, you know, I think that firstly, I think about it like this, okay, when we think about our own insecurities or our own like doubts that we're having like the one that you've just described, I think we think that we're so alone in it, we always assume that the person with that opposite has no insecurities. Always, we never, ever think that they do, no matter who you're with. So like you think of everyone that's listening or watching this now, you know, if they go to work, you know, tomorrow morning, and they're talking to their colleagues, they're not thinking, gosh, this person's really suffering inside. You're just thinking this person is a really confident in themselves, they know they're worth, they haven't got any doubts and it's just me, but actually insecurity is a universal experience. There is nobody that is completely free of it. And I think in some sense, it's a good thing because we always have something to work through to help us to drive us to expand, to commit to healing, to, you know, to do all that work, which is so transformational and incredible. And I think that you will always find that people have confidence more in some areas of their lives than in others. So for example, if we think about, when we think about, I said that self-worth is really related to manifestation, you'll find that if you're trying to manifest in your life, you will be able to manifest some areas of your life very easily. The biggest cliche, but one that is so true is successful women who can manifest incredible abundance of work, but they cannot manifest love. Why is that? Well, actually, it's because to believe you are worthy of abundance, financial abundance, success is a very different belief to a belief that I am enough to be chosen when I am seen for everything that I really am. It's a lot harder to come to that belief for a lot of people because of that upbringing than it is to believe I'm good at my job. And so I think it's really recognising that we all have areas that we feel more confident in than others. And that's okay, but how can you start to recognise where the gaps are, where the weaknesses are in your feelings of confident and how can you do use tools and self-help to really strengthen those and build yourself? We have a lot of women listening to this show that will feel so seen by what you just said. For a very long time, that was me. I was able to manifest and to build anything that I wanted in business. I was so fearless. I am so fearless. But up until I did serious in our self-work, before I met my now husband, I was not able to find someone who could match my ambition, who wouldn't want a dimly light. Manifesting true love was like something that was the blocker. And I remember thinking I will be so miserable if I keep going down this path of building this empire and turning around at like 60, 70 years old and having no one to share that with. But I've never been able to with a formula communicate like how that inner work actually happened. So what would you say to the former version of me or the woman that is listening to this that resonates so much with that that can do anything in her career and has not been able to translate that to finding love? Oh, first day I would say I see you. I am you. I'm very much single. And I get it. And I think that first I would just say you're not broken. You know, I think we can really take it so personally when we struggle to find love. And this is why I've just written manifest love, which is coming out at the end of January actually. When we struggle to find love, we really make it about us that we are fundamentally flawed. We're not. We just haven't been taught how to be loved or how to fully accept ourselves for who we are because I think that as children, you know, even when we're very, very young, we are kind of told you need to mold yourself to be enough. You know, we're told don't be too, especially as women, don't be too loud, don't boast, don't want too much. You know what I mean? Like we're really told to play small early on. I don't know if it's the same in the US, but it's certainly isn't the UK. And then we've got, you know, everything that we see on TV in in the movies that is really just fucking up a whole view of what love should feel like. And so there's so much we've got to like contend with. But there is a journey back to yourself that you can absolutely go on. And it is the best journey you'll ever go on in writing my book. I cannot tell you the healing I did. When I started writing it, I truly felt I will never be loved. Like I just won't. Like I've never been chosen. And no man is going to find me attractive. No man is going to want the fact that I have a kid or maybe they're not going to like the fact that, you know, I always used to make this joke that like self-development isn't sexy. They're going to look at my interview. I'll be like, no, I don't think so. But since going on my own journey of, for me, it was just a lot of therapy as well. It was a lot of understanding where this came from processing all the past experiences I have, which every woman can go through as well and do this themselves. You end up at a place where I know now that love is out there for me. I just need to see who's good enough for me, not who I'm good enough for. And I think everybody can get to that place. What do you think it looks like in practice when you have low self-worth like you did when you started writing this book? When a genuinely good man shows up and like you are just not ready for that opportunity? Oh gosh. Well, I think kind of what we said at the beginning was just you sabotage it because, you know, if we have these kind of like flawed beliefs around love, we kind of believe that love should feel hard. We kind of have this toxic view of love.
that it should be like intense chemistry, which we really confuse with intimacy and connection, they are not the same thing. We want love to be dramatic. We want to chase because we think if this person is not giving me everything, it must mean they're better than me. It must mean they have this incredible status or power or whatever it is. And so in that sense, by finally winning that person, it means I am something. You know, for me, like in the past, I was always as good as the men I dated. So if I could date someone that was successful, that had money, that was famous, that was whatever, then I was like, oh, maybe that means that I'm good enough. But actually now, being on the other side where I'm successful in my own right, I have my own financial independence, I feel confident in who I am as a person and why I can offer a relationship. I don't need to look for someone with those things to prove anything to me. So I'm looking for someone not from ego, I'm looking for someone that can genuinely give me what I need, which is consistency, intimacy, joy, passion, fun. And I think then when that person comes, I'm not going to push them away because I know that that is actually what I need and deserve. And I think that's kind of how the women can get there. And I actually think on the opposite side, like for my personal experience of because I had such high self-worths, even though my husband is extremely successful, all of those things we're talking about, I was like, you're lucky to date me. That's genuinely how I felt when we were dating. And so even I think that that's attracting maybe even the person that you are manifesting, but you don't feel lucky, like I never felt lucky to be chosen. I was like, you are lucky to be with me. Yeah, I love that. I still feel like both of us feel that way because there wasn't this, well, I hope this is for me. And I think that was through a lot of my own past failures of relationships and, you know, broken engagement and feeling like I can't go through this again because I just, I physically can't have that. That for me, I was like, I need to do this differently. And to your point, it was always seeking. It was never like attracting. Yeah. So I actually really want to do that differentiation. Right. Very nice. I was just fascinated with this stat that, because this is not me. Health and wellness is the top thing people manifest for, ahead of money, and then relationships. Knowing that health and wellness is the thing that people want to manifest. And then there can be real things that are going on in your body. Yes. How do you relate those two together? Look, as I said before, I think there are things in life you cannot control. There are things in life that are unfair, that are deeply sad, that you cannot find a reason for, but there are things that you can. So it might not be that you can manifest the cure, but could you manifest the version of you that can live life with whatever condition you have in the best possible way? Yes. I believe you can. And I think that I said at the beginning, this isn't magic, and I'm not going to say that you're going to get everything you want, and especially I never talk about manifesting health, because I, Joseph Spenser is the OG at that, and he has seen some incredible results. I am not that person to say that and to meet those promises. I think that mindset is going to have a positive impact on anybody's life, but can it be the cure for something? No, I wouldn't say I know the answer to that. I mean, my ludial phase, we all know that point in our cycle where our body is basically like, please do not make this any harder than it needs to be. But during that time, I still want to move my body. I want to go for a walk, I want to get outside, maybe stretch, but I am not forcing a high-intensity workout when my body is asking for something kinder and softer. And that is where Lou Lemon just gets it so right. And their groove-relaxed cinch pant is exactly the kind of thing I want to wear on those days. It has this oversized, relaxed fit, so there's actually space for your body to move and breathe. Nothing feels too tight or restrictive. It's perfect for that lower-impact movement. It's made with their Nulu fabric, and has a super soft, barely there feeling. I only just learned that when Lululemon does colors, they do it with limited drops, and they sell out so much faster than I realized. Lululemon offers free returns too, so there's never a risk if you decide to change your mind. So head to lululemon.com to get your hands on their groove-relaxed cinch pant. I just asked all of you guys this one question, what is the one thing holding you and your team back from using AI properly? The answers were fascinating because everyone was basically circling the same problem, the same one that I had. They don't know where to start. People said things like, we don't know the right prompts. We don't know how set up an AI agent. Our systems don't talk to each other. I think every company today needs someone thinking about this properly. How can AI save time or increase output? How can it make your business smarter with it replacing the human judgment that actually makes the work really good and unique? That is where our sponsor Fiber Pro is so valuable, because it connects you with vetted specialists who understand AI and more importantly understand how to turn it into a real outcome for your business. So instead of your team trying to figure it out alone, you can bring an expert talent who can move quickly, plug into what you're building, and help you use AI in a way that actually works. Visit pro. Fiber.com to learn more. You mentioned Judith Spenza, which you shared a stage with. Yes, incredible. I want to talk a little bit about the business of manifestation. You are an expert at this. Millions of people have purchased your book like you have made a business on manifestation. How do you feel making money off of manifestation? When I had discovered it, I had been at rock bottom. I had been in addict for 10 years. I had thought I had manifested. The first thing I wanted to manifest was love. I listened to these affirmation meditations and I heard kind of I was 27 and I just wanted to find love. Two weeks after I discovered manifestation, this man named Wade messaged me on a dating app. We met and the day we met, I was like, oh my god, I've manifested you. He was just passing through London for five days on his way back to Australia, but after five days he was like, fuck it, there's something here. I'm not going to go on that flight home. He moves in with me after five days and two months later in the September. We met, had our first date in June in September. He was like, I'm going to go back to Australia, get my visa and move back here. Let's really try this thing. As they find. We get back to, he get lands in London and the day he arrives back in London, I find out it's pregnant. At this point, I'm still an addict. I am suddenly having to give up drugs. I was smoking 25 cigarettes a day, alcohol and I have no money. I have no job. I have no career and Wade, God bless himself, not a pot to person. So I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I was manifesting love, but I wasn't prepared for this. How am I going to bring up a child? When I have nothing going for myself, I don't know how I'm going to afford a child and Wade is an actor, so there is no, it's so unpredictable who knows when he'll get his next job. I need to tell my life around. I didn't know what I wanted to do straight away, but I was on my own healing journey and I was sharing it online. And I was talking about, I went through a very, very deep prenatal depression and I was quite honest about it to what was like a 15,000, 20,000 audience on Instagram at the time. I was a kind of party girl in London, so I had this kind of small following. And week before I found out I was pregnant, I had started something called Agniante Sundays on my Instagram stories and I don't really know why I had done it, but I wanted, I wasn't doing anything. I was just like going to parties and taking drugs all the time. I had nothing. So I was like, you know what, maybe like I could just give people advice. I loved giving people advice. I was, I was, I was, say I was quite wise as a, and even though I was, you know, fucked all the time. And like, there was something wise behind all that. So I'd like to give people advice. Anyway, while I was pregnant, I had this thing that I had just started. So every Sunday, I found that I was like getting out my head. And I think in this like giving people advice every Sunday, realize that this is what I want to do. I want to help people. I want to use the things that I have been through to help guide other people and actually I'm going to take people on this journey with me. And when Wolf was five months old, I hosted my first workshop and it was to 150 people in his old church and I'd invested 200 pounds, which felt so like such a gamble at the time for me. But I, people came and they seemed to enjoy it. And that was where it started. And so it didn't begin as something that felt like it was a business. It was something just to get me by. And at that point, I didn't have these great grand ambitions. I was just like, I've been going through this thing. I have this audience who seemed to be responsive to me talking about it. And let me just do this workshop. And I was, by the way, very inspired by people like Brenny Brown. I'd watched her call to courage on Netflix. And I remember thinking like she was
was funny and she was really engaging and it was it really helped me and I thought I want to be able to do that I want to be able to go on stage and I want to you know maybe be able to say something that might change the direction of someone's life that might be able to help them in a time that they need and the way these people are helping me and so that's how it began and so it didn't begin it wasn't by the way and nobody was talking about manifestation then when I said to my audience as anyone know what manifestation is nobody knew and if they did they knew only about the law of attraction because they'd read the secret maybe you know decades ago but it wasn't this trend it wasn't this big thing so I didn't know that it could grow to the extent that it did I think that when people make money in self-development in general I do understand why people feel funny about it but I think everybody in the world is trying to make a living for themselves and I think if you can do it whilst also doing something that is purpose driven that you feel is really helping people that is serving people and it's not taking advantage of people's vulnerabilities it's not creating false promise I think it's just like any other business yeah I agree like I was it's so funny to me that people don't realize that we live in a capitalist world and I always say that's as a disclaimer I'm like I am a conscious capitalist but don't follow me if like you don't want to learn how to make money talk about money being confident talking about money because it does make me confused and that's why the show talks so much about relationships with money and attachment to money and how I think about it because I've never been shameful of saying I want a lot of money I enjoy money not for maybe the reasons that people think but I think money to me is freedom money is a tool money is the ability to do whatever I want money is the ability to walk out of any room that I am no longer respected and I think as women it does surprise me that we even feel this level of shame or guilt off of wanting to build a living to make money to have all of the things I just talked about how comfortable are you talking about money yeah it's hard do you know what it is hard talking about money I think because I think the reason is because there is such disparity in the world of what people have and I think that it's such a sensitive topic and I understand why it is so sensitive and I think that the truth is I grew up with privilege you know I went to private school and while my dad you know didn't like we didn't have like spending money we always had a roof over our head we never had to worry about bills so I come from privilege and I really understand that and and it's a really hard one and it's why although I believe that money is a very strong energy and I have you know I really believe in like the being able to manifest an abundance of money as well I find it really I'm really terrified of talking about it because of you know upsetting anyone or offending anyone in a way that I wouldn't ever intend to I think also what I've noticed about being in the UK is that is a very very strong belief of most people in the UK whereas the US not being an American moving there understanding the American dream that like you can literally build that and it's like celebrated whereas the UK is so different so different yes there's a lot of women that are listening to this and this is why I love working honestly with our partner Stan because we are so aligned in our missions of like even women like you and I who there were gatekeepers there were ways that we wouldn't have been able to manifest or build the lives that we want and it is about especially with the creator economy now the ability to like be able to provide for yourself and be able to build the life that you want and I think that's why Stan and I work so well together because we have that what would you tell a woman listening to this about how to start making money off of something that she is genuinely passionate about that can help people that can do everything that you've done like what is the first step to getting the first check for themselves into what they want to let go of maybe the golden handcuffs or where they currently are in their career by the way I think financial independence for women is just so key and incredible like I understand it's not as easy as me just saying guys it's so good and try and go for it but if there is something that you are passionate about and that you love and that is fills you with a sense of purpose you absolutely can make a career from it for me I would say my best advice is like find multiple revenue streams so I think that people can get fixated on like one idea of how they're going to make money and they stick with that but actually I think what what for me are on is I tried loads of different things and I still now have many many revenue streams so I have something that I like to talk about I have my niche I for me it's about empowerment itself development okay what are all the different ways I can help people with that message books is one of them webinars is another everybody can has something to teach you know and there are willing people who want to learn then I have you know the app then I have had podcasts then I had a brand collaborations then there's there are so many different ways that you can send the same message and so think about what your message is what is that the core of it what are you trying to do and share with the world and think of all the ways all the modalities that you can get that across some will work and you will can double down on them some will not forget it move on don't hang around I feel like you can learn very early on what people like but also be flexible you know I would say that for example my life shows were so we would I mean we'd never did a paid ad and we would sell out to 2,000 people in no time which now in reflection I'm like I actually don't know how I did that because actually selling 2,000 tickets is really hard really but I didn't know I actually I remember meeting Vision who was the founder of Mind Valley and he was like you didn't do any ads and I was like no I just put on my Instagram stories and this was just after the pandemic so people were really keen to do to come back and pass and to experience that now I find actually selling live show tickets is harder selling web and articles is easier and so there's that shift I'm like okay actually do you know what I'm gonna do more webinars because clearly people are more interested in joining online it's more flexible for them because they can watch a recording and I can reach people more globally and so you've got to like find out like really things do change and I think that I had to go through a level of like I'm adjusting what I do what I don't do so yeah find what you love find loads of different revenue streams for it and be flexible and adaptable to what's walking and what isn't it so far this is what I love this show because you know you're a lot of these women are known as an expert in acts but then when I hear this part of the conversation like you're such a business woman you're such a CEO the way that you think about what you're doing is in such a traditional CEO business way how comfortable are you when you talk about manifestation confidence women's women empowerment versus when you talk about the business you know it's so funny like at home I love talking about business you know I really love it I feel like it's just like in me like I love ideas marketing I don't have any agents I don't have any PRs we do everything in house it's me and three girls we are a tiny efficient team we're really good at what we do and I love building relationships with brands I think that's why they like working with us because we're so personal I do really love the growth side of it you know when I think about like generating wealth or financial abundance what I think is part of the reason I've been successful at that part of my life is because I come to it with a really abundant mindset and by that I mean that I try to be as generous as I can with my resources and I think that people really forget the importance of generosity when I for example I told you the student on my team what was really important to me and what I really advise anybody to do and actually I got the idea from Simon Squibb who is so incredible you know him yeah he actually advised me to do it and I did and I give everyone on my team phantom equity so they get a profit share after you can set how many years after they get it so it rewards the loyalty but also means that they are getting a benefit from what you are creating together I think this is so important I would hate to have this a team who are so amazing and they are so amazing like everyone we work with is like your team is amazing I'm like I know like they're so good and they I couldn't do it without them and I had to really learn by the way how to manage people I was a real micromanager it took me a real learning like I'd never been a boss before it was really important to me that these people that are with me every day in day out they feel so rewarded and they know how valuable they are and I think it's made for a stronger team and I think that also like being generous with the people that you work with with whatever kind of philanthropy you want to be doing I truly believe that it will come back to you tenfold the more that you give to the people in your life and the people around you you know even being generous with your contacts like I don't get keep
any thing. Every single friend of mine that comes to me with a book idea, I am there helping them build every set for the way. Be generous. Like I think that is where you have like an abundant mindset. Be generous with your resources, with your time, with your contacts, you know, with the right people. But do be generous because I think there is an abundance of everything in the world. And I don't think it's an enjoyable personally. I don't think it's an enjoyable pursuit to just want it all for ourselves. Like for what? Like this is supposed to be shared. And it's supposed to be enjoyed. And I think that like, you know, I just I always even like to think like if I'm spending money in a restaurant, I'm like, this is an exchange. I always think, you know, sometimes it's like part of that like scarcity mindset comes from like when you spend money, even if you have money, when you spend it, you can be like, oh my god, I can't really spend that money on this, right? And I get it. It's like, it makes you feel like, oh god, it costs this much. I let's say you went for a meal, okay? If I go for a meal and it was like a bit more than I expected, you know, it's really easy for that to be like, oh god, I've just spent this much money and that can make you feel a bit anxious. But then you can think, do you know what? Imagine how much it costs for the rent on this place. And imagine how it costs for all the produce. And imagine how much it costs for all the staff and actually all the expenses that go with this. And actually it's the least I can do is pay for this great meal that I had. And that changes my mindset on how I spend money. And then I think I don't feel like I'm not particularly attached to money. And I feel like I have a really healthy relationship with it. I'm not a crazy spender myself. I'm quite conservative in the way that I live. I'm buying light to have a nice life. And I like to enjoy it with the people I love. I love it. Hey, let's talk about your consumption because we're gonna do some rapid fire. Okay, great. Okay, Roxy and Athusi, what is the last thing you put on your credit card? The last thing I bought was actually these shoes from jute. Oh my god, I've seen this brand every year. Okay. And is this the last most expensive thing that you buy? Yes. You can only pick one for the rest of your life. Shopping or a lymphatic drainage. No, fatigue drainage. I'm really not that bothered about shopping. Okay. Yeah. I'm hoping I say this right because it's UK brand. Yeah, aloe or adenola. Oh, you can't do that to me. I actually, I have a manifest seven day program on the aloe wellness app. And I love the team there, but I love the founder of adenola hire him. He is such a cool guy. And I think what he has done is phenomenal. I think aloe is amazing. I think adenola is amazing. I can't choose. I patches or lip gloss. I patches. I hate lip gloss. I patches are a lip liner. What color are you wearing? Oh my god, I just got this makeup forever. One, it's called like artless caffeine or something. Yeah. It's so good. Love it. Okay. French tip or color? French tip. I love it. And on the toes. A French penny. I'm really into these days. I love it. So we do ages our love notes. It's kind of like an affirmation. Okay. Retrain your brain. You can only say one to yourself for the rest of your life. What is it? I'm enough exact care I am. I love that. And if you had to title this season of your life, what would it be called? I'm gonna call it the summer of love. Love that. Yeah. Roxy and Ethosie. Where can people find you and how can ages are help you? You can find me on Instagram. That's it. How can ages are help you? How can they help me? You know what? By helping yourselves. Go out, read the books, listen to the audio books. I promise you they will change your life. And if I can be a small part of your journey, then you will have made this all worthwhile. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you.
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The speaker overcame body dysmorphia disorder through therapy, medication, and self-work, which allowed her to finally feel confident in herself and in front of a camera.
She shares that true confidence stems from self-worth, not just external achievements, and that many women can manifest career success but struggle with love due to deep-seated beliefs about being worthy of affection.
Manifesting is not wishful thinking or magic—it's a proactive, daily practice of aligning belief, behavior, and mindset with one’s goals, rooted in psychology and self-development.
Her seven-step manifestation method includes vision clarity, inner work on self-worth, behavior alignment, embracing challenges as tests, cultivating gratitude, turning envy into inspiration, and trusting the process.
A key insight is that fear of being seen is often rooted in past experiences, not personal flaw, and that being seen is about serving others, not about validation.
The speaker emphasizes that personal branding and manifestation require showing up authentically, including through wardrobe choices that reflect one’s desired identity.
Envy is reframed as a signal of unmet desires, not shame, and can be transformed into motivation and inspiration.
True transformation comes through inner healing, with the belief that one’s worth is fixed, not conditional on external outcomes.
Summary:
The speaker shares her journey of overcoming body dysmorphia and deep-seated insecurities, using self-awareness, therapy, and medication to build genuine self-worth. She emphasizes that confidence and manifestation stem from internal belief—not external validation—and that true self-worth allows one to manifest all areas of life, including love and personal fulfillment. Her seven-step manifestation method focuses on clarity of vision, inner healing, behavioral alignment, embracing challenges as tests, cultivating gratitude, transforming envy into inspiration, and ultimately trusting the process.
She highlights that fear of being seen often originates in childhood conditioning and that being seen is about serving others, not personal gain. The practice of manifestation is not magic or passive wishing—it’s a daily commitment to mindset, action, and self-trust. She notes that successful women often excel in career abundance but struggle with love due to unprocessed beliefs about self-worth.
By turning envy into inspiration and aligning daily actions with desired identity, individuals can create a life of authenticity and joy. Her personal story of falling in love after years of addiction and self-doubt underscores that transformation requires vulnerability, healing, and consistent practice. This approach is accessible, practical, and grounded in psychology, offering a path for anyone seeking to live a more confident, purposeful, and joyful life.
FAQs
Manifestation is using the power of your mind to create reality through belief, action, and mindset. It’s not wishful thinking or passive visualization—it involves taking consistent steps, aligning your behavior with your goals, and cultivating self-worth. It's rooted in psychology, self-development, and personal growth, not magic.
Body dysmorphia disorder can cause deep-rooted self-hatred and fear of being seen, leading to avoidance of cameras, public appearances, or self-photos. For the speaker, this meant avoiding certain sides of their face and limiting how they showed up in public, even as they built a successful career.
The seven steps are: 1) Clear your vision, 2) Overcome doubt and build self-worth, 3) Align your behavior with your goals, 4) Let go of old beliefs and habits, 5) Embrace gratitude for what you already have, 6) Turn envy into inspiration, and 7) Trust in the universe and surrender to the journey.
Self-worth is the belief that you are inherently valuable and worthy of love and success, regardless of outcomes. Confidence is the expression of that worth in daily life. True confidence starts with self-worth, as without believing in your value, you can’t fully manifest or sustain success in any area of life.
Career success is often tied to tangible achievements, which can be easier to believe in. Love, however, requires a deeper belief in being worthy of emotional connection and being seen for who you truly are—something many women have been taught to suppress or avoid from childhood.
Challenges, rejection, or setbacks are seen as 'tests' from the universe designed to test your belief in receiving what you want. These experiences help you grow and strengthen your trust in the process, showing that difficulty doesn’t disprove your goals—it prepares you for their arrival.
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