Rosh Hashana: Tashlich and Polluted Waters

I've got something a little bit different for today. So, I don't know, I hope. I hope it will be something that you find meaningful, because I found it meaningful, and it could be I'm just weird, but I hope that that's not the case. Not that I hope I'm not weird. I know I'm weird. I've made my piece with that. I hope it's the case that you will find it interesting. It's very deep, if that's all right. And maybe it's too late to do deep. I'm not sure. But the theme itself that I'm talking about is deep. That is what it's about. So, I hope you can bear with me. I started writing my notes for this talk. And I don't know how many people here have Androids. Show of hands if you have Androids. Wow. OK. I didn't know there was this many sheep in my community. Pesach should be easy, then, we'll have plenty of sheep. OK. I was swiping. I was swiping on my Androids. Do you guys-- anyone swip? You guys swip? I was swip typing. And I swiped Rosha Shana. And it kind of guesses what you wanted to say. And sometimes it goes horribly wrong. Like you're writing Hashem Yit Barach, and it says, autocorrect, Hitler. Like, you know, no. That's not what I was saying. No, stop it, right? So today, it was going to be a good laugh when it's quite accurate in an ironic way. So I swiped typed Rosha Shana. And it autocorrected to dishwasher. I don't know how-- why? It thought that Rosha Shana was dishwasher. But I left to myself because that is what the day is. It's a day when you take something, somebody who's dirty, who's covered in sin, in problems, and issues. And if they're going through this process, they find themselves on the other side of that day purified, clean, crystal, clean, pure, amazing. And I thought maybe if I'm going to talk about a dishwasher and the dish washing opportunities that are available in Rosha Shana, then what's fascinating to notice is that if you take a look at the Tiffy Lord at Rosha Shana, I just want to give a shout out to someone from the community. I'm not going to mention her name. But she reached out and she said, you know, we really need a class in understanding the Tiffy Lord, the prayers of Rosha Shana. I'd love it if you would take us through the prayers. Tell us, what do these things mean? What are we supposed to have in mind? What should we think? What should we imagine? How do we connect? Would you give a class in my house? I said, sure. Anyway, I get to this class. And it's at the dining room table. And she had went out and bought an English maxor for every person that came to the class. And there was pens and posted notes in every color. And everyone came and it felt like I was back in school. And everyone is writing notes and ripping posted notes and putting it in the maxor and writing on the side. And this is what you have in mind here. And this is what you think here. And I would suggest various things for them. And I think that that's something that whether or not you have a class on, there's books out there, there's opportunities, go out and prepare the Tiffy Lord, the prayers of Rosha Shana and Yom Kippur. Spend some time. If you're trying to do it in real time, why are you trying to also pray? Why are you trying to keep up? You're not going to be able to do it. So we're going through the words of the prayer. And you know what's interesting about the words of those prayers of Rosha Shana? You know what's fascinating? What's fascinating to me is that there's almost no mention of the sins that we do. So if the day is about getting clean, getting Kapara, it's a day of judgment. We're getting forgiveness, if you will. I mean, I know that that day also happens on Yom Kippur, right? But we're getting judged today. So why would we not mention those things? And I thought, you know what? Why don't we go to the one time on the holiday when we actually do engage in the process of asking God to forgive our sins? And where is that? Didn't we know? Taschlich. Have any of the rabbis before we spoke in about Taschlich? No. How many times do you go to a class on Rosha Shana and it's on Taschlich? Almost never, right? Rosha Shana, Hashem being the king, the Tata resolutions. And I thought this abandoned sad custom of Taschlich, which usually is, let's be honest, a social gathering of people, asking each other a question that everybody asks when they get out of prison. What time did you get out? (audience laughing) It's amazing. Same question that you get in prison and you get a Rosha Shana prayer. (audience laughing) Where'd you get out? Oh, well, he went for it. (laughs) Let's leave it there. So I thought maybe we'll talk a little bit about Taschlich. Where does this custom come from? The origin source of this custom is a Pasuch in Mika where the Navi says, and you will throw, you will cast into the ocean all of their sins. And to commemorate the fact that Mika mentions that our sins will be cast into the ocean, we go to the ocean and we so to speak, get rid of our sins there. But the question is, Judaism is so much deeper than just the shallow symbolism that may be going to a river and emptying pockets, incorporate. So what is, how does this work? What's the process? What's the focus? How is this supposed to connect us to something that ultimately gets rid of our Averot? How does this work? So I want to spend a little time with you talking about this. Now some of you may know the source of this idea than the Maharil, that the reason why we go to the, to Tashlikh, to the river, to the water, to throw our sins is because of a Midrash. The Midrash says in Tan Ghumat and other places too, it says that whenever I was taking its which takes place on the day of Rosh Hashanah, we read it in the on Rosh Hashanah. When Abraham was going, he was on the way. This satan, the etzer, the evil inclination tried to stop him every way he knew how. He knew the importance of this mission. And so he tried every possible way. He appears like an old man to Abraham, trying to convince him not to do it. He appears like a young man to Yitzhak, telling him not to go forward with it. Again and again, he's trying everything he can to stop this. And by the way, sidebar, in your life, when you're trying to do something good, and everything that you're trying to do, kind of backfires, know, understand, and recognize. That the reason why that's happening is because the is aware of how important your deeds and your actions are. If what you're doing was unimportant, Yitzhakara lets it slide. But when he sees what you're doing is incredibly important, he'll change your life. It will cause a cascading reaction in your day to day. It's going to change the life of your family or of your community. That Yitzhakara throws everything he's got to stop. So sometimes the way you know you're on the right path is by how many obstacles seem to inexplicably come in your way when you're trying to do what you're trying to do. I think you guys know a little bit about that. I'm going to read you the words of the Midrash. The Midrash tells us by Yolma Shilishi. On the third day, when Avram is traveling from his home to the place of the Akeda, we know where the place of the Akeda was. We know where that was. It's the Midrash, excuse me. The road was close. Why did it take him three days? Now, my first answer to that question is, you know, are you running to Akeda Yitzhak to do this? I would want to spend as much time as I can. But Avram, it says, Avram woke up first thing in the morning 'cause he wanted to do the Midrash the right way with energy. In fact, that's one of the ways we learned about this concept that when you do a Midrash, you're supposed to do it as quickly as possible. So why does it take him three days to get there? The Yitzhak saw that they were not listening to him. Not in the old man form, not in the young man form. Nothing he was doing was appealing to Avram and to Yitzhak. Once he saw that, he became before them like a engorged river, a river that was so swiftly, so deep and so swiftly of course say that they could not gross it. It was impossible. اگر آپ اگر آپ اگر اگر آپ اگر آپ اگر آپ اگر آپ اگر آپ اگر آپ اگر آپ اگر آپ اگر آپ اگر آپ اگر آپ اگر آپ بیینگ وہیس میں ہونے ہونے سے بیینگیں گے مجھے میں بیینگیں گے کرنے گے مجھے مجھے مجھے گے مجھے گے مجھے گے مجھے گے مجھے گے مجھے گے مجھے گے مجھے دہ گئی، ویلیگی، حشان، I'm so sorry I'm beginning angry. و if I could just do one more before I do tajouva, staram to death. OK. دیتہ رہاں منفسس in many different ways. سو when you look at the difficulties in your life, understand that this is something trying to stop you from doing something. but it's not the thing itself, it's the evil inclination. یاد یاد آب رہاں نتو خمائیم، اب رہاں ممیدیلی ویلن انتو the water. و ہیگیو آب بقافق اتھ his knee to his thighs. عمال انہا رہا بھی سدت his children, باو اخرائے کم افتمی. سائبار. نبیٹل your children to do something until you go in first. عمال انہا رہا باو اخرائے کم افتمی. یاد دو اخرائب دا ویلن انتو the water افتهم. کیب انش ایگیو آر خצیان آر when they got about half way through the river. یگیو عمائیم اتسابارا ویکتات all the way up to the top of his neck. بیو اوتوش آر انت مومت. تالا آب رام ان اب ناشا عمائیم آب رام ریز this eyes to the very heavens. انی سد امائی لفانا بری بونوشیلو لامسٹو of the world. بخالتانی و حوریتانی و انگ لتالی. you chose me and you taught me and you instructed me to go and to do and to be Macadeş شام شامائیم برابیم to be a کیدو شاشام ببولک. you asked me to show the world what to do. power follow you. اني اخید و اتا یخید I'm alone in this world. there's no one else but me who worships you by by the way at this moment. there are no other Jews. there isn't another temple that Avarham doesn't go to. OK? It's just him. آلیاد اخایی و داش شامی باولامی you told me that through me your name would become known in this world. and you asked me to bring its khak on the akeda. بیلوی کفتی I did not hold back. بیلوی نی او سک بچی بوکھا I'm doing what you promised what you asked me to do. بیل اخشاب اناو باولامیم ادنافش to waters of come. ادنافش until my soul I can't go anymore. if I walk anymore I'm going to drown those words you might recognize them from the Pasook. باولامیم ادنافش ایمانی او ایتخای کبینی تووویف ایدو one of us drown می کئی مامارخا who's going to keep your words. آمی اتیاخید شامخا who's going to pass on this legacy. می I'm the one doing it. ایتخایک is the only son following in my ways we are the future at that point there isn't the Jewish people. we are the future of God in this world. آمالو آکا دوش بارخو God said to him خیخا ایسویتیو شاید اخید شامخایت شامخایت باولامیم your name your legacy will yet come to characterize my name in this world. می يد گعارا هاکا دوش بارخو اتم عيان هاکا دوش بارخو اصوار سپیک گئیو the look at the Ma'yan at the source of the waters the Yavish Hanah. and this river that was flowing dried up the Andu by Abbasah and they were standing on dry land and then they continued their journey. my friends the maharil tells us that it's because of this that we go to do tashlikh anrosha shana. anrosha shana we remember not only that Avram Avino did such a great act but also the missirut nefesh that he was willing to give his soul. he was willing to give his life in order to do the mitzvah okay in that merit we ask a shem please forgive our sins. this is what the maharil says are you guys with me does this make sense to you you know what i feel again please forgive me maharil tell me if you feel the same way i want you to imagine someone comes to the state of israel and he says i would like to be accepted into the state of israel. oh what's your name oh my name askeshindla and and israel says fantastic here's a passport some other german guy comes and he's like i also would like citizenship to israel what's your name anyone nice german name hans van schnitzel sorry mr schnitzel you cannot come into this country but we will accept your product and it will become the staple of all israeli meals i still remember work i still remember going to a family member in israel and they were like i was like low no low lebali schnitzel i don't want schnitzel she goes ah okay say them say them there is a thing called schnitzel made out of corn in israel when you slice it open it is bright yellow i don't know who did the r&d on this i was like no look my name schnitzel yes what followed was a list of other kinds of schnitzel that i made of knowing other things the same company makes schnitzel from everything it was amazing i did not even realize that so many things could make schnitzel either right back to hans van schnitzel hans van schnitzel was standing there and he's like but you let him in what are they going to say to hans van schnitzel he saved the life of a thousand one thousand one eleven hundred Jews to i forget exactly twelve hundred Jews he saved that's why we let him in we're going to plant a tree for him there's going to be streets named in his honor in the adva shem that's why we let him in who you in fact mr. van schnitzel where were you on the night of what were you doing in nineteen forty two nineteen forty five arrested man drown him in ketchup sorry standing next to ask a schnitzel ask a schnitzel oh he drives home the point how inadequate you are correct is that fair the mario is like you know what on rosh Hashanah when we're asking for another year of life and we don't deserve it and we have lots of sins we should go to the river bank and say god remember how abrum did no sins so if you could kind of like cut me some slack and i'll show him i'm imagining it's like on the river and he's like yeah but yeah but that was because he he did no sins where were you on the night of young stand i kind of feel like if anything that just awakens a taina a complaint against us so what is the mario explaining what does he say so i think there's something here that's very very deep very very powerful and i hope it's not too late to understand this this concept revchaim vital in his kabbalistic work sharek kadu shah he writes that there are four basic elements that make up the spiritual nature of human beings and the four basic elements are earth adama main ash and ruach so earth wind water and fire it doesn't mean that god stuck us into some sort of bowl and mixed up the ingredients and improve for person popped out but on a spiritual level each one of these elemental elements in creation creates makes up a part of the human psyche and he writes something very interesting he writes that if you want to analyze what the origin source is for desire sexual desire monetary financial desire when you want to steal something you want to take something somebody else لیکن لیکن مجھے لیکن لیکن مجھے لیکن دیکھ رہے ہیں jealous of what someone else has. Where do you think that resides? In which of the four elements? I would have guessed, fire. No, anyone? - Yes. - I wanna read to you. These are the words of Rukhain Vital, student of Dhariza. He says his fellows. You saw the Hamayin, the source of the concept of water in our world. Water is the source of our desire to enjoy things in this world. Because water actually is the source it builds, it creates, it sustains all wondrous creations in the world. And two things come out of this desire. The desire to steal someone, to take from them, to take from them the desire for their wife, the desire for their house, the desire for everything that they have. I want more, more, more. He wants, he's jealous of his friend, he wants more money in order to be able to do more things, to enjoy more things. So the source of water is the source of desire. That's the concept. Mine, water is the source of desire. Fascinating, ready for this. The Kliyaka rights. In the flood, when the flood came in the time of Nakh, Net and Shubit, the Omra, about what happened to the people? We know they were guilty of two sins. The first sin was adultery, and the second sin that they were guilty of was stealing. What happened to a people so steeped in those desires? They drowned in the water. They drowned in the depths of their desires. That's the concept of mine. To me, I imagine that that's how Nakh survives the Mabu. Because while everybody else is desiring for themselves, what does God do to Nakh? He tells them, look, I want you to build a Teva. And what I want you to put in Teva, I want you to put all the animals. Every animal eats on a different schedule. Nakh and his family, they will up straight the whole time in Teva, just feeding these animals. Can I ask you a question? You know, God saved the fish. Why couldn't God figure out a way how to save all the animals? I don't know, put them in storage. Bigger something else out. If miraculously they're all gonna come to the Teva and they're gonna fit in the Teva by some miracle. Let them go in a cave. I don't know. Let them go on top of the mountain. Have an earthquake. The earth opens, it then swallows them up and then spits them out afterwards. Figure something else out, it's a miracle anyway. The answer is, Nakh didn't take care of the animals 'cause the animals needed Nakh to take care of them. Nakh took care of the animals because Nakh needed to take care of the animals. Because in order to stay adrift in an ocean of desire to rise above, to merit being saved from the desire, the idea that I want to take, take, take. I want to have everything for me. You know what the solution was for that. For them to be non-stop, unceasing givers for the duration of their time in the Teva. Once we see this, we start to learn and to realize that there are great things of foot when you go to do Tashlich. One there is things in fact. And if you could plug into this, your Tashlich will never be the same. All of this is really nice, but it leaves us with one problem. And that problem is, my friends, that there's something else that water is compared to. What else is water compared to in the euphemisms of Khazal? Who said that? Torah, Exyn, Jean-Luc, Torah. In, Maim, Ella, Torah. How could Torah be identified by Maim? And alayat, taking selfishness, self-centered narcissism. How could those two things be rooted in the same thing? How's that possible? The Binais as Chai writes something magnificent, echoed in other sifanim as well. He says, "Let's take a look." The holiday season, where does it begin? It begins with Rosh Hashanah, correct? And what are we doing in Rosh Hashanah? We take all of our sins and we put them in the water. And Rosh Hashanah goes into Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur goes into Sukkur. And what are we doing Sukkur? We take the water and we pour it on the Mizbah, on the altar and the Betha Magdash, what are you doing? Is it the place of desire where you dump your sins? Are you taking your toxic water and putting it on the Mizbah as a sacrifice? What does it mean? Says the Binais as Chai has something incredible. He says, "You saw that Maim, the element of water, Binais from that comes all love, all enjoyment, all desire, Kiyama'im, Matsumikhin komin et anu, because water is what grows things, things developed from water, they spiral from water. Umayim mori al-Ahavat." And therefore, water represents love. Therefore, we pour this water before God on Sukkur. Lehorot to teach. Shimevaklin ko al-Ahavot. We take all the love that we have, which is evil, which is bad, which is for the wrong things. I might love gambling. I might love stealing. I might love hurting people and feeling in power. I might love controlling and manipulating people. Maybe that's what gets me excited. That's what switches me on. The whole is skit anu-gay al-Amazay. What do we do? We take all of that ahavat, all of that love of the wrong thing and we bring it into the temple and we put it on the Mizbah and we say, "God, we give you our love and we take in return the things that you love." This, my friends, is what is referenced by the Maharil. What we're trying to come back to when we recall the story of Abraham and Yitzhak. Abraham is asked by God to do what? To do the akheda. Now can I ask you a question? Does Abraham have to listen to God? Huh? Well, he's got a command from God. There is no Torah by the way yet. So I'd imagine a direct commandment from God you would probably listen to, right? But probably it was subject to all the same rules and regulations that we're subject to now in the Torah, correct? Now let me ask you a question. If there's a Mizbah, and in order to be able to do the Mizbah, so like let's say you wanna come to Safar Sinagog on Rochana and Yonkipur, assuming you board a sea cause we're sold out, right? You try and they get here. And then all of a sudden you're walking down and Madison Avenue has turned into a torrent, a river, and you cannot cross it. Are you obligated to go to shul and perhaps die? No, how do you know that? Because which Mitzvah does one need to risk their lives for? - Seeing what it is. - Good, so not killing someone. The big three sins, not murdering someone, right? Not worshipping idols and not committing idolatry. Any other Mitzvah, if you're gonna die in order to do it, do you have to do it? No, Abraham is told, go to the Akeda. He goes to the river. The river doesn't let him cross. What is he allowed to do right now? Say to God, sayonara, the Hitraot, bye, bye, bye. That's all he needs to do and go home. He's patur. But Abraham's love runs deep. He's in the water, he's in a place of desire and he says to God, God, I love me, I love my son, I love our continuation. But I love you and you've asked me to do something. And when I put your love in my love and the scale, the things that I want and the things that you want for me, I choose what you want for me. 'Cause I know that ultimately what you want for me is not filtered through the biased version of humanity with its taste for the finer things of life. I know that what you want for me and your plan for me is better than my plan for me. So look, you sent me here, I'm here. What do you want me to do? And the ocean and the river dries up. What we do when we go to Tashlik is we go to a place of desire. And we say to God, you see these things in my pocket? These sins, they're not me. They're in my pocket, they're not me. I am not those little crumbs from that cookie that I took once and then someone saw me so I stuck it in my pocket so I wasn't in back. Right, that's not me, that's my cookie crumbs. Those are things that I can get rid of. I come to the sea and I sink to God. The only reason why I do these is not 'cause I want them. But because I had desire, she looked too beautiful for me to turn away. It was too hard, all my friends were there. I didn't want to make a scene. So I just wanted them, even though I should the God. I'm already keeping kosher. I shouldn't have gone to the restaurant with them, but you know what? We say to God, we throw our sins in the waters of desire, and we say to God, this is not really what we want. And in that moment, something magnificent happens. I quote to the Pasuchin Shira Shireem, and I will end with this, the Pasuchin Shira Shireem says, "Maim Rabim, lo yuhilul khabot et ava, unharot loyishtifu ha, imitin işet kol hon betob e ava, boz ya vuzuloo." The great waters, lo yuhilul khabot et a hava, they can't diminish our love for you. Unharot and oceans and rivers loyishtifu ha, they will not get in our way. Imitin işet kol hon betob e ava, if all of the money in the world was on the table in front of me today, be ava, with love, boz ya vuzuloo. He will walk away empty handed, because I'm not giving in, and I'm not giving up. My friends, desire is apolitical, desire, it's not split between good and evil, it's just that you want something, that you crave, that you yearn for something, that yearning could be yearning for something, that you don't have, that you want, or it could be a yearning for something that you are not. It could be a yearning for a better you, it could be a desire that burns so strongly. Your character, you want to be that friend that people can rely on. You want to be the partner in your relationship, that gives in, that baby perhaps doesn't bite back. You want to be the person in your community, that when people know something needs to get done, they come to you, you want to be, we want so many things, but you know what happens. There's another desire, and I want, and I want, and the wants go into a back alley and they stop fighting it out. Tashlik is when we come on Rosh Hashanah and we say to God, I don't know what it means to make you the king of the world. Because you know what, it's so easy to say Hashem is the ruler and the king of the world. It's easy to say that Hashem is the king of the Jewish people. It's easy to say that Hashem will rule forever and ever. It's easy to say that Hashem, the mech, al-Qaeda, are it over all the nations of the world and it's really hard to say, Hashem is the boss of me. That's what happens in Tashlik. Here I take everything that is taking me astray and I say, "God, look, this comes from ayat al-harah. I'm throwing it in the river, not so that you could take away my sins in the river, but so that you and I can agree that all of this is only ayat al-harah. And God, with your help and my correct desire, just like with Avram, that river disappeared from in front of him. I want this river gone." Why do I feel? Why am I always attracted to the wrong person? How come those are the people that I want to date and the good guy, the nice guy I never want to date? I never want to say yes. Why? Why am I like that? Why am I this person that loves schmoosing in the back of the synagogue? I don't understand. Why? Why does that excite me? Why does schmoos stay home? Why do you have to come to synagogue in order to then inappropriately talk in the shul? Or stay downstairs? What is this drive? What is this desire? It doesn't even make sense. You could schmoos uninterrupted with no one shushing you, not in the shul. Why would you come to shul to have your conversation interrupted by everyone else's conversation with God? Get there, Harah. It's not logical. It's a river. It comes away, sweeps us off our feet. But when we could look at this river and look at our desires and call them by their name. And the minute it is, we notice, we recognize, we understand what it is. It loses its power over us. That's how you get rid of your sins. Not by magically drowning them in the ocean. Not by feeding them to the fish in Central Park, so all the fish in Central Park are toxic with your sins. What is this fish taste like? Taste like breaking shabbat. That's not what's happening. You're calling a river that wants to try to stop someone who is your GDNA great grandpa. Someone who called out the river of desire for what it was and then watched it disappear. This year, what do you want? What do you want? You see, resolutions got it all backwards. Resolutions are this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to do this. Raise your hand if you've ever made a resolution, then not kept it. The hands that are not up are just lying, by the way, just putting that out there. Never said you were going to do something that you didn't do. We all did. Because in the good place, we accept ourselves as we take on it and it's we want so much but it doesn't work out. You don't know why, because you're accepting on yourself to do something. You know what happens when you're accepting yourself to do something and you're the same person you were before, the same reason you didn't do it before is the reason why you're not going to do it now. It might work for a little bit while you fake yourself that you're someone else. But when you kind of crash land into your old skin, the same reasons why your old skin couldn't handle it is why you can't act, you're not going to be able to hack it now. Don't accept resolutions on what you want to do. Make a resolution on what you want to be. And therefore, in the text of Tushleh, we do not say the 13 attributes of God's mercy. We do not say "amona", "amona", we don't say that. What do we say? Me el camo khah, who is like you, God, right? At each one of these expressions, we take the thing that God is called, "rakhum khanun" we say, "God, you are Over al-Peshah." You are a person, Ezekiel ad-Apo, you don't get angry. We actually express what these actions look like so that we can actually model those behaviors. Who do you want to become in this coming year? And the irony is that oftentimes, the "you" from 2022 didn't deserve to make it. But the "you" you are preaching in 2023, hmmm, I like that. In Shamayam, Hashem is like, this is pretty good, if they can pull this off, that would be amazing. And the angels are like, brilliant, yes, absolutely, I like Shlomophari 43.0. And that Shlomophari gets written in the book of life. Hashem should bless us to go to Tashlih with the right intentions. Hashem should bless us to see the river of desire flow in the opposite direction. And the spirit of God, it hovers right above the waters. Because in this desire to do good, and this desire to do bad, many people get swept with the currents around them. But God is right above those desires, waiting for you to reach out from the water and say, "This is what I want to be like." Hashem should bless us with the shanat of Ahmaborekhet. Saturday night, Saturday night, in between Rosya Shana and Yom Kippur, we will be having a midnight silicoot here, it is always rampacked, and it's an incredible silicoot if you are a Sephardic, you should come because you are Sephardic. If you are Ashkenazi, you should come to see what real silicoot look like. But beforehand, we are going to have a class, I think it's 12.45 is the exact time. So we are going to have a couple classes, stay tuned, follow us, you'll see exactly what we have got planned for you. Benzart Hashem, Shannat of Ahmaborekhet.