Ronald McDonald House | Creep Cast

[MUSIC] Welcome back to the crew. Welcome back to creep guest. Today we are going to be reading two beautiful stories, the first one being which I thought this is a pretty sweet title. Me and my friends are using a Ouija board for the first time. It keeps asking people to leave the room. Last time I was around a Ouija board, it was actually in Tampa with Isaiah when he refused to mess with it. You don't fuck with Ouija boards. >> I don't touch them. It's a bridge too close to me. >> I mean, I feel -- I have met -- the amount of people that I have met that do not fuck with Ouija board. It's a large -- people who do not like those things. People do not like Ouija boards, I'm finding. >> I mean, it's like -- I understand it's like a board game that's made by Mattel or Hasper or whatever. Like, I understand the thing itself is just a piece of board, right? >> Yeah. >> But it's more so, I don't do any, like, ritual thing that is an attempt to context here. Like, if someone was breaking up animal bones or doing little sigils and stuff, wouldn't mess with that, either. >> Right. >> Like, anything that looks like I'm trying to make a phone call, not interested. >> Well, that's fucking -- you know what? It's your choice. I have done Ouija boards many times, never had anything happen, except when I was younger, my mom did it, and she tortured me with it for, like, I'm even joking a whole weekend. She did this, put on this whole elaborate route to scare me, and it was very rude, so. >> Well, what did she torture you with it? >> She kept fucking with the light. She'd go to the breaker box and kept, like, turned the breakers on and off, all kinds of stuff. Slamming doors and, like, it's truly, like, a child raising a child is what it felt like. I was bullied, needless to say. >> Right. Right. >> I think that's good for to do that. >> No. >> I think she should have done more now. >> No, I think. >> We don't have to get into her anything, but I just know that, you know what? Treat your children with respect. Don't intentionally scare them, you know? That's just me. >> And I will say, Isaiah gave me the gift that keeps on giving, which Isaiah sent me a video of himself crashing his phone down. >> No, we don't. >> Go ahead and roll that now. >> No, we don't. >> The funniest part of this, too, is we were talking about it and he says, you know, I was only going that slow because the battery was dead as if he's Travis Pastrana driving around his house. >> No, okay. But the Rambo drone's flying around your property, watch it, hit your dirt, my guy, zoom. >> This had to come up because I have to explain why I'm wearing these. >> Yes, okay. >> The motorcycle battery was dead. >> Which also for people who don't know who are listening on audio, what is on your hands right now? >> And bandages, bunch of dogs and tape and stuff like that. >> What happened is I was trying to drive the motorcycle, but the battery was dead. What you have to do is call the rolling start where you kick it into first gear with the key turned over and then as you're, once you pick up speed, you flip it into second while the motor's still off and then you gas it so you're trying to force the motor to turn over without the starter. So what that means is you go from idling like messing with your gears and all that to second gear all at once. Right? >> And I'm sure. >> And I've said this before. >> And people once again that are an audio that can't see the video that is just definitely on repeat right now that I'm going to have them just repeat the entire. >> It looks like a very slow one. >> It could not look like more of like an 86 year old man on like a French mo pet going around a corner and just having a heart attack and toppling to the ground is what it looks like. And then what happens is Isaiah sent me there's, it's like a six minute long video. The rest of that, that's 10 seconds. The rest of the six minutes is spent with Isaiah just basically around to the point where you're like where the like it's it's what's like that important that he showed me him being like yes, this is me really just kind of like just kind of feeling it now. >> No, I just clicked the minute. I clipped the minute of the wreck. >> There's only a minute. >> Oh my god. It felt like eternity. Well, I clipped the minute and I sent it to you saw a re I didn't edit it for you because as soon as I wrecked, I stood up and I was bleeding for my hands and leg. So I paced for a while like you're okay. You can feel your bones. You're okay. You're okay. Like trying to walk it off. >> Yeah, like it's I don't have any on this. I don't I can flex my leg all the way. I was doing that whole thing. Did I send you the video of the injury? >> No, I haven't seen any of the actual injuries so far. I am curious to see your little Arby's roast beef mits. >> Yeah. >> Whatever. Hold on. I got a couple of things for that. >> We can't put it in the episode. >> Yeah, it's definitely too. Well, the fact that you need bandages, I'm very curious to see what it looks like here. >> Well, then also by the way, we're reading Ronald McDonald House afterwards. That's the second story. >> Ooh, owie. >> Owie ow. >> Yeah. >> So I come myself in my hands and then that left hand skipped and while I was bleeding, I was looking down on it and I could see little striations under the skin. I'm like, oh, those are muscles. That's awesome. That's great. That feels great. >> This is actually, it's so funny. It's funny. Given the context of the video, it's very funny that this is actually a very, looks like fucking, for people that don't, and looks like refer to Kruger's face is what his injuries look like. We'll put it up on the Patreon. We'll put it up on the Patreon too if you want to see some blood and gore from Isaiah. >> Okay. >> Feel free. But thank you to our patrons for supporting us and getting some extra content on the side. And then also, thank you to audio listeners who are listening on Spotify, Apple Podcasts anywhere you can listen to podcasts and giving us nice reading. We appreciate you. Isaiah, you just want to jump right in. >> Yeah, to do even say what the second story we're reading is. >> Yeah. >> I said Ronald McDonald House. I said it. >> Okay. I also want to say to match the cast I'm wearing a Five Nights at Freddy's T-shirt that I found at a gas station in the rural Appalachia. >> Wow. >> So, it's really, it got the whole fit going on, you know, really is quite the, well, drip check definitely. >> Our first story, me and my friends are used in a Ouija board for the first time, keeps asking people to leave the room, was written by World Away Tweety. World Away Tweety actually writes a ton of stories for no sleep. They write, it says in their bio, they write spooky stories and screen plays. So, they've got a ton of stuff, some of it written for no sleep, some of it written for the screen. They've been writing for years, it looks like, and there's dozens of stories on their page. So, we'll have that linked in the description. Be sure to check them out if you enjoy it. And our other author today will talk about, but it seems that the story will be reading for them as the only story they've posted, and they haven't posted in 13 years. That's a great sign. We'll go ahead and get into it with the Ouija board story. Hunter, are you ready? Oh, I'm ready. Let's begin. Also, if anybody, if anybody has a Ouija board while we read this, I would say put it out. I'd say don't do that, but you know what, you're an adult. You? You do what you got to do, but I say bust out that Ouija board. Yeah. Get that Ouija board going. Okay. Me and my friends are using a Ouija board for the first time, keeps asking people to leave the room. I'm using this post to chronicle the events of this evening, as they've been truly fascinating. Some quick backstory. The small section of the city that me and my friends live is generally known to be haunted. And even if you're not a believer in the supernatural, it's at least a bit eerie. I'm not going to dox myself by stating the location, but let's just say that creepy sightings and murders, deaths due to unexplainable circumstances, are our bread and butter. For most people, this means you move away as soon as they can. For folks like me and my friends, who absolutely love all things, fine-chilling, it generally makes for a pretty good time. Our Halloween parties are awesome. Most of our drinking nights have some sort of spooky game and are laced into them. And if you have literally nothing to do on a Friday night with your friends, you can always go on a tour of some of our haunted locales, Graveyard's, abandoned buildings, creepy forest, you name it. So with that background established, let's cut back to tonight. Did you, when you were in college and stuff like that, did you ever do all that, because like I would go to like abandoned buildings and like, there were a bunch of after parties on like spooky, you know, in the woods and stuff like that. Did you do anything like that? No, it was more like when I was in middle school, middle school things we didn't really have much to do. So then you just wait for your, like, if you're at your buddy's house for their parents to go to sleep and you get, like, walk out into like the country or whatever, you know how I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do that kind of thing. Oh, we're going to go out to the river. It's going to be spooky. Yeah. I told you, Kaelin, I met ghost hunting, right? Yeah, I did. It's a magical, lovely tale. It was very romantic with that, very romantic and I'd love to hear it again. There was so much sarcasm, babe. No, man, I would love to actually have to sit through that one more time, it'd be great. You are such a sure. No, I don't know if you ever told it on the podcast though, but I don't know. I don't care anymore. No, it's actually like, it's a pretty phenomenal story. You should say, I'm being honest, I'm not being facetious at all. I'm saying that it's legitimately like really, really good and you should say, I'm just going to keep reading. Okay. It's dead. That goes stunning. That's the whole story. It's all you need to know. It's all hundreds. Can you get out of me right now? I can't do this right now. All right. All right. You guys are missing out. It's a real tear-jerker. I'm going to say the text that you sent me earlier. You don't need to say that. That's a joke between friends is what that is. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Me and my closest three pals decided to try our hand at using a Ouija board. Were we going to be normal and try the Ouija board and one of our family addicts? Not too basic. We instead decided to track up together to what I shit you not. It's an abandoned tree house left in an elevated section of our city surrounded by forest. What could go wrong? Right? Don't like that. I would do it. Just take to my living room. I would be too much of a pussy to go up and be like, you know what? Let's go to that abandoned tree house in the middle of the forest. No, sir. No, no, no. It's in an elevated section of the city. I guess it kind of means like, you know, how like an LA. There's like, you know, the like what it hills in the city. Yeah. I guess that's what. Yeah. I guess that's what it means. We climbed up to the tree house, set down a spooky themed rug. Let's some candles and brought out the Ouija board. Despite my pretty extensive resume of dealing with all things creepy. I never actually tried a Ouija board before. So I was really excited to see what would happen. We went into this excited to break every role in the book. We weren't going to do a say-ons. We were going to ask whatever we want. And we didn't need to worry about being respectful to the spirits, et cetera. We figured if something interesting were to happen, it'd be more likely if we went in as carefully as possible. We sat in a circle around the Ouija board and got started, asking the simple question, "Is there a spirit with us?" With all of our hands placed on the planchette. No real response. We fluttered the planchette in a few different directions, but we could tell we were kind of forcing it. We asked a few other questions. "What's your name? When did you die?" But nothing really came of it. After trying for the next half hour and not really getting anything in the form of a response, we decided that we probably didn't have any spooky luck tonight, and opted instead to share scary stories in the treehouse. We left the Ouija board out just in case we get luckier later in the night. I meant to break in our story telling where everyone was grabbing drinks and snacks from their bags. I decided to give the Ouija board another quick go. Place my hand on the planchette alone and whisper the following question. "Will you please grace us with your presence tonight?" That's what does it. When you skip into the old English dialogue vernacular, that's when it happens. That's what you have to do. Will you please grace us with your presence tonight? Yeah, you just have to sound like an oil man from the 20s. You know what I do? I try to put something in the backpack and just leave it open so that the ghost would have to kind of appear. What's in there and have something a little tempting toward then it would be like, "Oh, okay. I want to start messing with them. I want to start interacting with these guys are pretty cool." What do you mean by "tempting"? I don't know, man. What would you attempt to ghost with? That depends on the ghost, I guess. That's the way you said that. I mean, it just depends on the ghost, I guess. No, I didn't. That's good. Sometimes you get some cat or some twingies, I don't know. You are laying in to me this episode. I think what I do is a couple of different things. What did I do to make you so upset? No, don't deflect. What did I do that made you so upset? You know what I do? I take a picture of myself a little Polaroid and I'd put it in the bag and I'd leave it open. When you said something to attempt the ghost, I knew it would be in that direction. Why did you fucking go Mr. Rogers with it? If I was a. I don't know, it depends who the ghost is. Okay, what did I do? Why are you mad? I'm not mad. I'm just saying. The way you said it was so flavorful. It really is. It's like a goddamn ring. Between this and me bringing up like, that's how you kill it. I'm like, go. So you're like, wow, really? Like, what? It's got your goat right now. Nothing. Nothing. All right. I guess, I guess I would attempt to go with the chocolate bar. How's that? That's wholesome, right? The ghost is like, who chocolate? I like that. How's that? I mean, you're sitting yourself up for all these. Yep. Chocolate's good. My hand. Okay. Go ahead. Go ahead. No. Or you go, sir. That's good. Yeah. I tend to go with the chocolate bar. There it is again. There it is. You just look. Do you still have voice? And to be. You're the one who's doing it. You're intentionally doing. You're fucking with me. You're definitely fucking with me. No. Okay. I don't know your honor. I attacked him because he was asking for it. First off, what do you think it should do? What the fuck do you think a ghost wants with some chocolate? If he's sitting there and I. I don't know. What does the ghost want? Imagine me. You're naked. Pull it out. Imagine me on a jet ski, dude. Speedo on. And I'm spread open. I'm talking like. You can't even believe that a human can be. I'm like a goddamn wishbone. You spread me open. I mean, I'm flexible, bending me before I snap. I'm saying that you're talking about a ghost. If a ghost is on Earth first off, is a ghost logic that we're using is that the ghost is in like a purgatory. Do ghosts, or do they, because they realize they don't know that they're dead, right? That's the kind of. I did. No one's established that. But sure. No, I'm just. That's in general. That's in general. That's in general. That's in general. I think if a ghost is interacting with a Ouija board, they know they're a ghost or a spirit or whatever. Okay. Why didn't know that? Because sometimes all that people say is that ghosts don't realize that they're dead. So, you think a normal guy who doesn't know he's dead is going to come across a polaroid of you and be. Hello, Hunter. I think a lot of people would. Yeah, dude. I'm not saying that. Listen, I would say that as a whole package, it's not impressive, but there's a couple of ham hawks. I think it'd turn some heads. More than would be. More than would be interested in chocolate. Yeah. Honestly, self. And I hate to. And I'm not trying to peacock. But yes. I think I could bust out. I think I could. Like. I would bust a nut over myself over then like a Hershey or Garrett Deli, because what I'm saying, like I would turn heads. All right. I have nothing to add to that. They call me that. My nickname was a Chinese finger trap for like two or three years. All right. All right. We don't need to get into that nickname story. I like to bear when your mom was turning the lights off, that was better. Chinese finger trap. You're just. You're just constantly on. You're just. It's like a little chatter teeth that's just going around like. It's true. People get stuck in it. Or something. No. All right. All right. I'm like, "You got a squeeze and push. You've got to get out of this." It's like. What was the dragon's name and move on? That's what they call me. That's what they do. I do an Eddie Murphy impression, but I can't anymore. It's just. Wasn't it. Wasn't it. Moose. I forgot they call me Moose. Moose. Moose. I forgot. Disney was holding back. They're like, "Hey, it's about a Chinese girl." We got the dragon called Moose. We're going to call her sweet and sour, but we decided against it. It's like, "God, damn." Holy hell. Moose. We should call the little dragon, General Chao. Do you know. They're. The chatter teeth. We should restart this paragraph because I'm lost. Okay, well, I ended the paragraph. You said, "Well, you please grace us with your presence tonight, so not some new paragraph." Okay. All right. So, okay, we're good. Surprisingly, the plan chat started moving. It's hard to explain, but you kind of know when something is moving on its own versus you sort of subtly and subconsciously moving it with your hand to force an answer. It felt real. Tingle went up my spine. It was cool to sell. My hand was moved to the following letters, Y-E-S. Awesome. I looked over to the group and told them that the Ouija board was working again. Excitedly, we all huddled around and placed our hands on the plan chat. I followed up with another question. Where are you from? We said they're excitedly waiting for something. Instead, nothing. Plan chat was still. The lack of any sort of external force with us was very, very obvious, disappointing, but I had an idea I wanted to follow up with. I turned to my friend, Kevin, and asked him, "You want to try doing it solo? It worked for me." Kevin was confused, but he decided to give it a try. We all backed up to give him some space with the Ouija board. He placed his hand on the plan chat and repeated my question, "Where are you from?" His expression changed to shock as his hands started moving with the plan chat. He turned to all of us, and mouthed, "I'm not doing this." To which I excitedly mouth back, I pulled out a notepad and recorded the answer as the plan chat went from letter to letter. It recorded the following. Not important. Love it. A spirit with some sass. I'll also say this. A lot of the times we get annoyed by casual language and stuff like that in the story because it comes out of nowhere or it isn't fitting, but this is like a group of friends in high school or whatever going out with the Ouija board, so the vernacular feels fitting, you know? They're also idiots. Yeah. This is just being dumb and like, "Oh, play with the Ouija board," so the idea that this thing is actually moving, okay? This thing's actually moving. It's just like, okay, a ghost with some sass. God. This is a guy that is like, he's going to be flying around the room later with like a new surround snack or something like that. It's like the perfect juxtamosition. Oh my God. This guy has some sass and then later his dead corpse is going to be flying around the room. Exactly. He shouldn't have offered him chocolate. Drop the chocolate bar and it'll break the spirit's power. And while the spirits showing them like every death and every murder, just blood pouring from its eyes screaming, it's like hellfire and like animal sacrifice and they're treated like the goonies. Yeah. Yeah. What I'd really have no grasp of how serious the situation is. It's like get a hold of yourself. You have no idea what you're up against. Lord, you're speaking to the Lord of the Flies. You got to get it together because even, there's been times when I was a kid where it's like even if somebody's faking it, I have loosened my mind every time when I was a kid, I was like, Oh my God. I was freaking out. So just having this happen several times, I would be like, Okay, cool. We're done. And we're going home. I'm done. Also, he has sass. Is he like a fucking, is he a character in like a Tyler Perry movie? I'm like, this is a fucking ethereal being. Let's get the fuck out of here. Good Lord. We in college went home, we were playing with a Ouija board around campus. And there was one building that burnt down years ago. And there was a legend on campus that you'd see a woman in dress, like a, like civil war era dress walking around in the, in the building that was built in the remnants of the old one. An army. We went up there to Hill. And we were like, who are you and the two people we're playing? And it spelled out like, it's like girl. And we're like, oh, the girl on the dress. And then one guy was playing by himself. He's like, what happened? And then it spelled out fire. And I just left. But I don't blame you though. I do not blame that one guy message. 100% just left. I would be I'm a giant boss. I'd be like, no, thank you. Even if it just, even if it says something like nice love. Actually, that's even more threatening love. I'd be like, okay. I thought that was your whole strategy with the Polaroid. Now I'm, you know, I like to tempt. I don't like to act. Oh, okay. You like to be a little tease. I like to be a little tease to the paranormal. I see a little window shop in form. That's about. I see. I got you. Other side of the glass. Yeah. Exactly. Every kiss, every kiss begins with the case when I say, look it in. Love it. I escaped back up for a sec as I approached the Weegee board for one final solo question. I asked, why are you only responding when it's one of us using the board? Yet again, the plan chef moved effortlessly in my hand. It was faster this time. So I said the letters out loud and had another one of my friends, Alonora transcribed onto my notepad. The answer was, one at a time. Fair enough. I think the spirit, my hands still on the plan chat. I appreciate your answers, friend. To my surprise and a strange synergy between me and the spirit, I felt compelled to move the plan chat again. It was the fastest it had ever been this time as it covered the following letters. Tell everyone else to leave. Huh. That's a little weird. That's a little quirky. But first of all, I should say, tell everyone to leave. I mean, I would be shitting bricks right now. He's going to be like the guy at the end of her editorial. He's in the tree house. Just like, she's getting possessed and there's headless bodies everywhere. He looks around everyone's headless and naked, like bowing that trumpet music. That's a little peculiar. You think Alonora, and she's just like, she's skinned alive. She's like crucified on the wall. That's a little weird, don't you think? What you doing up there. He looks to his body. He's like, his mouse in his scream in his head spinning. And he was like, that's a gold trick. He was like, I was teaching that. I love the idea too. And this happened to you. You went outside and get on your motorbike on a meeting. It's like, all of it is from one camera angle. It's slowly going down the ladder. It's getting on the bike. It can't start it. It tries to roll it. Well, she was actually so slow because I had to do a rolling star. Yeah, I just start to start because the battery does it. Yeah, I just explain the whole process. Yeah. Oh, bro, it changed that battery. I like the idea of someone being confronted with like actual like scary demons, spirits, whatever. It's like a Scooby-Doo movie like the chieppers. I don't want to say so far. I did like that little turn. That was kind of, that's kind of fucked me up a little bit. Fuck that dude. I love those. Huh. So good. Yeah, I just couldn't hold in the laugh of just the literal line. Huh. Huh. It's a bit because I got, I got a lot. It's kind of campy. Like being confronted with a real horror with such casualness to it. It's time to talk about something scary. Your health. I know I don't go in the doctor as much as I should. If I'm feeling sick, I'll just lie in bed and sleep it away. But that's only because I don't want to have to deal with the appointments, insurance and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's why I have Zach Doc. 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Thank you, Zach Doc, for sponsoring the episode. Back to our spooky story. I want to take a moment to thank today's sponsor HelloFresh. Not part of the ad. I am not being paid to say this while I'm being paid to do the ad, but you get it. Oh, wife and I've been subscribed to HelloFresh for over three years. Nearly every meal we eat at home is them, and we're going to have them again tonight. I can't think of a better advertisement than that. Because HelloFresh allows you to make a simple, but tasty, home-cooked meal on those busy weeknights when you can't make it to the store and don't want to think about recipes. I personally love HelloFresh because it's good food that's fresh, high and making. That doesn't require me to know more about cooking than my base level experience, which before HelloFresh was a nut. The ingredients and recipes are just delivered to my door and all I have to do is follow the instructions. And they have over a hundred recipes each week. 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That's right. 10 free meals and an excellent knife and all you have to do is get three weeks of delicious cooking. What agony? Those valid while supplies last and the free meals are applied to a discount on the first box and new subscriptions. Again, that's HelloFresh.com/crepecast10fm to get in on this incredible offer today. Thank you to HelloFresh for sponsoring the show. Their link will be in the description and we are now back to the episode. My friend looked at me skeptically as I said the letters at a time. Are you sure you didn't force that on purpose? That's still an aura. I sure do or I definitely didn't. That was definitely from the spirit. Which that's one of the, I think I should really be. That's one of the big deals with like Ouija boards. You can't play it by yourself. Because the whole point's like connected energies or whatever around the plan chat. So if you're played it by yourself, it's a one way between you and the spirit. So the spirit wins every time. Oh, I see. At this point, this had been the most clearly supernatural phenomena I'd ever experienced in my life. And I was excited to keep it going. My friends, usually unflinching and made of ice, were a little bit thrown at Lenora and Martin, looked ever so slightly spooked, Kev was willing to go with it. "I might as well see where this goes." Kev said as he started climbing down from the treehouse. With a slight bit of hesitation, Eleanor and Martin followed suit. Sweet, an actually creepy night. I'm raised to quiet amidst the lighting of the candles and the power of the Ouija board. I geared up for my next question. was it going to hold back spirit? How will I die? Brothers just died. I know, dude. Get the order. No, no, fuck. No hesitation. No surrender. Little fucking goodies. Those are the ribs of an app because it's not like it's not like he's like, oh, I don't believe this. Like he thinks he's talking to us something beyond the veil. Nothing. We can't be on the bail. But it was more fucked up is that he does not care what is behind the veil. No, he doesn't give a fuck. I'll go fuck your god or the devil. How the fuck am I? Just immediately dived into like a thing that you should never have. Ever. What what could have put off sick? Okay. Great. I'm glad I'm glad I know that now. Thanks, man. Yeah, I mean, what do you do? The way she boards like car and you're like, what's up to be really scared forever? You know, shit. I took in a deep breath waiting for some movement. Slowly depends. Interesting answer. This is literally Fred for Scooby-Doo. Like, oh, okay. If not a bit underwhelming, I geared up for my follow-up. Oh, come on, spirit. What about something a bit more specific? I've never wanted people to die so badly. Honestly, it's about to get ripped out of that tree. It's going to be so satisfying. It's going to look like I've ever seen a skyhook the way they used to pick up people in the military where they put a balloon in the air. In a plane, it's the balloon. It's going to look like that straight down the wall of the tree. I'm going to look at that little kid and fucking a romp-based pit being dragged around. That goddamn river is what it's going to look like. Yeah. Yeah, what do you do if you're like, I'm something more specific. And it's like gorilla. And you're like, oh, come on. And then you turn around. And there's a gorilla in the tree. Yeah. In the jungle, right, in the jungle. Oh, we pull up, we pull up. Oh, we pull up, pull up. That's in the distance getting louder. That'd be so frightening. You're your friend outside like, it's at a gorilla. Just the fun-during pounds of gorillas fucking fist into the earth. Sounds like a horse galloping towards you. Oh, you asked the gorilla question. You said the magic word. My hand moved with the planned chat to the following letters. I try hard to focus and connect the letters since I didn't have anyone to transcribe with me. What is your name? Weird, completely dodged my question and asked me my name. Okay, all knowing spirit. I assumed you'd already know that. I decided to try tricking it. My name's Bell. Movement from the planned chat on the Ouija board. Took me to the letters. Do not lie. Oh my god. Well played, spirit. It takes some back to the previous question. It says two gorillas. Oh, every time he's too quirky, it just adds a gorilla. I gave the spirit my actual name, Jennifer, and continued to see the follow-up response. What is your favorite food? Honoring the spirit's rules? I opted to tell the truth instead of following up with another lie. Your girl loved the writing. I like it. It's charming. It's charming with what's going on. But man, your girl loves dawn air. And the spirit deserves to know that. What is dawn air? I don't know if I can know dawn air. Let me see. Sounds like an airline. Dawn air is a popular Canadian food. Oh god, originating in Halifax, Nova Scotia. It's a variation of donor cabab featuring spice ground beef. Sliced from rotating cones served in a pita bread with tomatoes, onions, and unique sweet. It's really just like a taco. Yeah. It's a gentrified taco. Got it. The Ouija Boards response? Correct. Before I could take in the affirmation from the spirit, who's asking who questions here? Followed up with yet another question. What is your biggest fear? Do you not lie? God, dude. How do you not take this of like, okay, I'm definitely going to die this way. What's your favorite food? I don't know. Just like a cabab. All right. What's the worst possible way you'd want to die? I don't know. Maybe three gorillas? Yeah, I don't know. Getting attacked by a colony of gorillas. The tree just starts shaking. It's like, oh, what's that? This question took me back a bit. I wasn't really afraid of anything, or so I thought. So I struggled with it. It took me a few moments. I really, really thought of it. I kind of cringed at the answer, but it was my truth. Something horrible happening to my little brother. I'm sure little brother is going to be fine. Just a long girl just sent her brother to the shadow. I can't, I never come back. Exodia. Right. That hang off event. Tell you it's going to show up. The giant triangle with the legs. Or that or two gorillas. No movement from the Ouija board. Seconds turn into minutes as I get my hand. Yeah, the time it was taking these minutes to kill your little brother. Seconds turn into minutes as I kept my hand awkwardly placed on the plant shed. Then finally, thank you. Send Alonora. Well, I obliged. I thank the spirit for its time and decided to climb down from the tree house, where my friends were waiting. Passed on the spirit's message and told Alonora it was her turn. I do like this idea of having to kind of like take turns going up. This is like this ritual of having to climb back up the tree house is like pretty fucking unnerving. And then just being up there, obviously with like some kind of other entity is creepy. Yeah, yeah, I said hereditary earlier as a joke, but in the early scenes of hereditary, how the sister would sleep in that tree house. Yeah, up the ladder. And there was like a there was an uncannyness to how different it was in the space around. It's what makes me think of. It's also funny. Imagine Alonora gets there. It's like what's your biggest fear? Alonora's like probably something happened to Jennifer's little brother. They're just stacking the curses on this kid. Martin Cavanaugh spent what must have been 15 minutes standing outside the tree house. While Alonora was up there, we pulled drinks out of our bags and were discussing my experience with the Ouija board so far. Both were incredibly surprised when I told them that the spirit was asking me questions. Well, what kinds of questions? Generic stuff like my name, favorite food, you know, weird. Both Kevin Martin seemed a bit thrown off by it, but I was excited. We looked up at the tree houses, we heard the sounds of someone climbing down. Alonora had finished her session. She looked traumatized. How was it? Weird. All it did was ask me questions. Questions like. My name, my favorite hobby, my biggest fear. I won't take a while for me to answer. Kev turned to me. That's a little bit eerie. I agreed. Didn't look like Alonora was loving it either. But still, spirit asking us questions? This has been one of the coolest, if not the coolest, paranormal experiences I'd ever experienced in my life. Alonora turned to Martin. I said that you were up next. It's funny the casualness that they're approaching. We'll see. Also, I like that it kind of is a bit goof at the beginning, but there is a there is a turn happening. Like that's yeah, yeah. There's a realization albeit slow, very slow, but it's a fun revelation on the less. Yeah, it's like, it starts with like, well, uh-huh, funny to me. But now it's like, they're all like, oh, this is kind of a little weird. Yeah, I'm a little scary. It's also funny that they're not more freaked out by it, where it not only knows all their names, but it's asking them the same questions and they're not really attributing a weight to that yet, like they probably should be. I'm sure that will bode well for them in the future. You'll be fine. Yeah, yeah, they'll be okay. Martin's session seemed longer than the others. We stood outside drinking, talking about the happening so far, employed out the occasional snack, that was a little bit traumatizing, said Eleanorah, kept him pointed to her and then up to the treehouse. Agreed, this is kind of messed up. Yeah, but that's the point. We seek out spooky happenings all the time and we never get lucky. This is an actual legit supernatural experience. I feel like we have to take advantage of it. Even if it's asking us personal stuff, what does it want that for? Followed up Eleanorah? I shrugged. While the biggest fear question was pretty weird, I didn't feel too worried that a spirit knew what my favorite food was or what my name was. Our conversation was interrupted by the sound of someone climbing down from the treehouse. Martin had finished up his session. It felt like it had been 30 minutes, which topped the rest of our sessions. We've bombarded Martin with questions as he reached the ground. It looked more shell-shocked than Eleanor did. "That was pretty fucked up. What did it ask you?" "My big sphere. It's weird, but it felt like it didn't like my answer to that one. It almost seemed annoyed." "So was it just silent for a while after that?" "No, it asked me way more things after. What's the happiest moment of my life was, who I was most jealous of, who my biggest life dream was, all that stuff. There's a lot of questions. Then finally, I just wrapped up with "Thank you." That was it. He said his biggest fear was like spiders or something, so it did a psyche ball on him to find out who it would hurt the most for him to lose. God. It's going to send him to the stratosphere. It's also funny to be like, "Yeah, I made that ghost pretty mad." Anyway, Kevin. "Hey, Kevin, sorry you're up, buddy." When I left, everything in the room started floating and the drumming was getting louder, but I'm sure you'll be fine. Martin turned to Kevin. You're up next. Kevin turned to all of us. "Here goes nothing." (laughs) It does feel like there's a giant ash droid adding towards earth. I know. I know. It's like, I keep thinking about that idea of like, Kevin getting shot out of a cannon ball out of the side of the tree house. It's like they're playing hot potato with it. Yeah. They're not hot. Pop goes the weasel. Yeah. Like, they're each like, "Hah, what this be funny? What this be funny?" And then the last guy up is going to get obliterate. He sighed and started climbing up to the tree house. We watched him make his way to the top. For the first time in the evening, I had to nod to my stomach. Yeah, you're right about. There's a shift all of a sudden where it's like getting more serious. Only five minutes had passed since Kevin first went up, but he was already climbing down. He was shaking his head as he made his way down the ladder into our group. Fuck that. What happened? We asked him. He just shook his head. That shit's dangerous. We need to get the fuck out of here ASAP. I've never seen Kevin like this. He was uncharacteristically shook. You have to tell us more. What did it ask you? I mean, what did it say? Kevin ignored all our questions. Start packing up his bag. You guys can play with fire if you want, but I'm out of here. I suggest you guys come too. I watched this Martin Eleanor started packing up as well. I had bad feelings about this whole thing. I think we should leave. Guys, what the hell? Just because it's unsettling doesn't mean we have to pack up. We can just hang out up there and do something else. "This doesn't feel right," said Eleanor. I watched him as they took a few steps away from the treehouse towards the forest. "You coming?" Ask Kevin. I stood my ground. Kevin just shook his head and started heading out on his way. Suit yourself. I had no idea what could have possibly happened up there that would have shook him this much. He had already started walking as Martin Eleanor pleaded with me to come with him. I said no. But grudgingly, they all left. You're probably wondering, wasn't I scared, especially now that I was alone? The answer was yes, but something in my soul told me that I was up next. I spent my whole life waiting for something that was truly supernatural to happen. And now, it was in front of me. It's my fingers jittering, climbed up to the treehouse, as my friends departed. Something told me out, something in my soul told me I was up next. Yeah, the demon. Yeah, no shit. It's in your soul now. It's kind of fun. Almost like it's planting a little seed in your mind. Yeah. Something, something tells me I should go back up there. There's like a 40-foot tall goat behind you. Yeah. You should go back up there. Yeah. Okay. If you say so, demon. It took me a moment to pull together the bravery to put my hand on the plant chat. The candles were still lit, the setting was just right. Finally, I spoke to the spirit again. Why are you asking us all these questions? Nothing for a few minutes. Then my hand moved with the plant chat, slower than usual, the answer to confirm my suspicions. Confirm your suspicions of what? Movement from the plant chat on the Ouija board. One of you is not who you say you are. I'm not saying. What are you talking about? I heard blood curdling shrieks coming from the forest outside the tree house, like nothing I'd ever heard before. What the? The plant chat was moving on its own now. I watched it go from lighter to lever. That is not Kevin. He is coming back for you. Run. And so I did. The small section of the city I live in is generally known to be haunted. I think I know why. It's time for me to leave. What a fun hand. That was great. What a little pepper at the end. I love that. This is definitely one of those stories where you wish that you had more. But at the same time, what a fun little, you know, I do wish that there was just a little more to see. But this causes the nice fun question of, let me ask you this, Isaiah. Do you think the ghost is telling the truth? Can you trust this ghost? I hope so. And so what I think happened at that ending is it mentioned at the beginning and then there again at the end that the whole city like has a history of ghost and spirits and stuff like that. And it's almost like this ghost is interrogating them to make sure they're all normal humans, right? That's why with Martin, when he answers the question about fear wrong, it had a lot of follow-up questions like Eleanor and Jennifer gave questions that made sense. It's like, oh, well, my biggest fear is this I like this and the spirit's like, yep, I'll check out your good. And then when Martin gave a weird question, it became like, okay, what about this? What's your fear desire? And then he checked out. But then we don't know what it said to Kevin, but we can assume that because of this, Kevin was possessed prior or had some spirit inside of him. So he's only up there for five minutes. The demon or the ghost figures it out and sends them on their way. So then Jennifer goes back and it's like, you need to get out of here because that's not Kevin. Like Kevin's been possessed and now the mask has been revealed. It does a great job too. It's pretty cool. It does a great job in the story too by isolating the people. So you don't know who's saying what? There's a level of deception that happens almost immediately to where now you've been trusting these people coming down and saying, well, what are the things that they're saying? Right? You've had this level of like acceptance of that. Now you're like, wow, has any of the things that people have been telling us even that true? I don't know. Really, really fun. Really fun way to set up that. See, this is the kind of thing to be fun to explore more of these characters. I like the kind of, with that, I like to how goofy it kind of was. It was a little cheesy, but at the same time, I think it did that intentionally because my guard was lowered almost immediately. I mean, I was just kind of, we were just having fun with it. It's still obviously something horrifying, but then just switch at the end where, oh, shit, it's maybe someone in the group. That makes a lot of fun. Yeah. Also, someone I'm reading the replies right now, someone said, perhaps the ghost is the real Kevin who's died and now is in the afterlife. And this thing's just assuming his identity, which I feel like it would know right away then when he does the rest of them questions. But I mean, there's so many fun theories. Yeah. I just let your mind run with it. I really liked that. That was, that's a fun little, that's a, that's a very fun bite-sized story. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It was a nice little piece of like mini horror that had like, it was a fun payoff, like kind of goofy. We were joking with it. But at the end, there was bite. It was good. I liked it a lot. Sometimes it's nice just having that sting, you know. It's just nice to have that little, just a little flash of lightning right at the end. That's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Like I said, a world away Tweety on a Reddit, they have a ton of stories. Most of them seem like these little bite-sized horror. We'll certainly come back and check them out at some kind I'd like to. Yeah. Can I see what their top-voted of all time was? That one has 7K. The top-voted of all time was a story called a message appeared on everyone's screen in the world. Hide. That's cool. It's like the same length. Sneak. Didn't we read that one? No. We didn't. Isn't that the one where all the people they're in the department and like they hide in the, they have to go play, they like everyone's hiding in their own spot. Remember in the apartment, all the friends over there hanging out, I'm pretty sure we read that, man. This is, it's that story where it's like all the buddies are hanging out at this apartment and then the thing flashed on the screen and it says hide and they're like, what? And then they hear the other people in the apartment and they have to like somebody hides under the bed, somebody hides in the closet. Do you, do you know what I have no memory of the story? Maybe I read that. You may have read it without me. Maybe that was one of the Patreon stories that it, I just know it was really good. It's really fun. But yeah, trying to, I mean me trying to recollect us a story, good God, but I feel like I'm almost positive. We read that on Patreon. And then I put it up here. Did we do that? There you go. The next story we're reading is called Ronald McDonald House and what I want to say here, this is on the creepypasta wiki. I love that. First off, I just want to say the, it says in is in that the category says mental illness, places and weird. So you got to love that which also if you don't know, Ronald McDonald House is also a charity. So hopefully they, hopefully they address that don't sue us and they don't know because yeah, this is actually a, a charity that they do. So I'm curious. Oh, yeah. First line. They literally say it. Okay. It's like last week, right? When we did the three stories, we didn't say what the connection was, but there was like a hidden connection where it's like, oh, these are all about rituals or like spells and stuff like that. So there's like a hidden connection. activity. You don't have to say it, but is there, you pick these stories? Is there a connectivity between the last story and this one? That I don't know. We have like a little spreadsheet of stuff that's organized. It was under and I might be wrong here, but I believe this is under the categories of trapped or something like that, but I don't know. I'd have to see again, but these are just some of the ones that were recommended and I just thought that they sound like I really like the title of the Ouija board one and then I thought the Ronald McDonald House one was just kind of funny. No, it's just stuff for grab bags. Okay, all right, because I was sitting here like, what does the Ronald McDonald House have to do with the Ouija board team? Okay, but that makes more sense. All right, so this story, Ronald McDonald House was written by a user named D Kingsbury who looking at at least their creepypasta wiki account. They posted this in 2013, so 13 years ago, and never did anything else. Love them. They have 12 edits, which I think they're all edits to the one story. I'm pretty sure, which I think I did this earlier, but I don't think they have any other. Yeah, they don't seem to have any other social media presence, at least none that I can see right away. So yeah, this is their one and done. We'll leave a link to their creepypasta wiki in the description to the original story and then if they ever do post in the future, you can check it out or know about it there. But I think this is the only thing they've ever posted, so that could be really good or really bad. Well, there's been a couple times we found like one-off stories that have been awesome. Yeah, you know, I mean, I don't mean wrong. Just calling something Ronald McDonald House, if this turns out to be a banger, I'm going to be so excited. It happens very rarely. You know, that I still love the My Little Pony story that we did. Loved it. So who knows? God forbid, we'll see. The Oh cupcakes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you love that first. It was brutal. It was brutal. You have to know it was. It was, but that was probably we loved it for probably what was not the author's into treason. That's fine. No, I still loved it. I think it's, I mean, hey, I'm on this podcast. I obviously think it's fine. But we'll see. We'll see how this goes. I want to take a moment to thank today's sponsor, Ridge Wallet. I've been using a Ridge Wallet for the past five years and I'm never looking back. It's because Ridge has the most durable and stylish wallets on the market. And I can speak to the durability myself because a couple weeks ago, as I'm sure you know, I wrecked a dirt bike. And my pants were torn to pieces, but the wallet in my pocket is doing just fine. Normal wallets and bill folds tend to be huge. Get in the way of everything to make it hard to access your keys, knife, flashlight, and putting the wall in your back pocket just makes it uncomfortable to sit down, even if you're used to it. Now carrying all the cards and money you need is a breeze. Ridge took their amazing design and made it even better with the Ridge 2.0. They're 10% lighter and more modular with improved cash straps and money clips. The wallet holds up to 12 cards plus cash and comes in over 50 colors and designs, including pro sports and college teams and Hawaiian shirt patterns if your school is me. You're not an alcoholic. And whatever you choose, Ridge has their built for life warranty. So if your wallets are lost or stolen, they've got you covered. Speaking of losing your wallet, you can use the Ridge tracker card to always let you know where your wall it is. With Ridge, there's nothing not to love. Right now it's the perfect time to get in. Because right now, Ridge is having their once a year anniversary sale. That means right now, if you head to the link in the description at RIDGE Ridge.com/creepcast, you'll be able to get up to 40% off. That's right, up to 40% off on something I'm sure you'll love. Again, that's Ridge.com/creepcast at the link in the description. After your purchase, if you could let them know we sent you, we'd really appreciate it. Thank you to Ridge for sponsoring the show. Their link will be in the description, and we are now back to the episode. All right, Ronald McDonald House. I'm sure you've heard of the Ronald McDonald House charity. They provide housing for the families of sick kids when they're in the hospital. It seems pretty innocent, right? Well, there's another side to the charity. There's another type of Ronald McDonald House. One that not many people know about. There's one of most big cities. You won't find it by looking for it. It doesn't have an address. It doesn't have a sign above the door. It doesn't even have windows. No, the only way you'll see it is if you're taken there, that's how I found it. The way it was described initially, I thought it was supposed to be like a battered woman's shelter where it's like, no, the address is kept hidden for a reason. So people can't find it, but no, it's like it's a kidnap thing. We're like, we're like, Ronald McDonald is definitely stealing people. Yeah. I remember when I was in a high school, I was a part of this group where we did a bunch of charity work for the county, and there was this one organization where their whole thing is they have like houses set up. And if there's ever a call from like a woman or a family who's like being beaten and abused or whatever, there's this group of people who will take them to one of these like safe houses effectively and keep them until the trial stunned and stuff like that. It's a pretty cool service. But I remember we really wanted to get like play stuff for the kids. We were like, oh, we'll put a little like playground in the backyards. You know, the kids don't have to be miserable or bored while they're there. And I remember it became this huge argument because everyone was like, no, if we put playground stuff in the back yard, you know, the abuse, the abuse of partners are going to recognize that immediately. Jesus, they're going to see. And it's like, why aren't these in houses like on the other side of the county? And they're like, yeah, but they'll be looking. They'll be looking. It's like, well, they, they won't be the only house in the county that has like a slide in the back yard. Like, it'll be okay. And I remember that it's almost like a six-month-old essentially don't want them to have fun. Yeah. I remember they kept being like, well, can't we give him some coloring books? It's like, we can do that too. But it's like, they're not going to find them because of a swing. And at one point, someone was like, well, I would understand if the house didn't have a fence. And like, maybe your fear is that, you know, the abuse of person in question sees the kid from the road. And then the person who was arguing correct, and it was like, no, all these houses have like tall fences. We're like, oh, well, then what's the problem? Which we did eventually, I think, if I remember correctly, we did eventually win the argument and get like playground supplies to them. But I just that reminded me of that whole argument. Like, no, if a house has a slide in it, immediately abusive partner is going to recognize that. He's going to smell that from a mile away. Jesus Christ. Anyway, after that fun anecdote, I've never met my real parents. I've been in and out of foster families and group homes here in Detroit since I was a kid. I'm 15 now. And I'm what you referred to as a bad kid, always causing trouble, always getting thrown out in place with another unsuspecting do-good or things that can help me and always prove them wrong. My caseworkers set across the black metal table, looking weary and frazzled. On the table between us was a thick, letter-sized brown on below. My case file. Well, your reputation has preceded you. And now you only have two options. Military school in Lansing, well, the Ronald McDonald House, which has miraculously cleared you for acceptance. I didn't have the patience for drill sergeants and 5am reveal. And the how bad could a halfway house named after a fast food clown possibly be? Ronald McDonald House it was. Dark clouds loomed above me the day I climbed into the back of my caseworkers town car. My few belongings in a backpack and the clothes on my back, those all I could take. One of those few belongings was a photo album, filled with pictures of all the foster families I had been with. It was nice to remember some of them, even though I had royally screwed it up each time. I've had a few cases who went through Ronald McDonald House. Caseworkers set from the front seat. Things went so well for those kids. I never had to transfer them anywhere else. In fact, the house took over the case files and everything. Can they do that? No, it's not. No, nothing works that way. Now the kids had die and I never seen them. The kids were dead and not my problem. Most importantly, we drove into downtown Detroit, passed all the familiar landmarks. I'd been thrown out of one foster home just outside town because I snuck into downtown Detroit with some neighbor kids to sink into a dive bar. Good times. Here we are. Car came to a stop. We had parked in front of a tall, gray, windowless building. I just sandwiched between two other industrial buildings on narrow city street. I don't think that's what the Ronald McDonald House looks like. I don't think they look like brutalist architecture. The middle of downtown. I noticed there was an address on the building to my left and one on the right, but not on this particular building. Not even a sign. Are you sure? I asked, hesitating as I opened the car door and climbed out of the back seat, slung my backpack over my shoulder, clinging tightly to the strap, and followed the caseworker up to the windowless metal doors. She pressed a buzzer, spoke to someone inside, and the doors clicked to unlock. We walked in. As soon as the metal doors closed behind us, I noticed the pin drop silence. It was that sort of silence that so oppressive and empty and almost deafens you. Across the dimly lit lobby, there was a glass window with someone inside, a secretary. She was turned away, typing something intently. We walked over to the window, the caseworker rang a bell on the counter, and the secretary spun around in her chair. Her face was painted like a clown, like Ronald McDonald, and for, oh, get me out of here. So, uh-huh, military school, the military school. too that is this one. You know, I always, I always wanted to support my country. Actually, always felt like that was important. So she even had the short curly red hair. Otherwise, she wore a typical white nurse's dress. Oh, my God. What, what you got there, Billy? I wanted to laugh at how bizarre it was, but I couldn't. A chill swept down my spine. Something was not right. I washed as the nurse and my caseworker interacted. Paperwork was passed through the window. The caseworker slid my case file under the glass as the nurse slid hers in papers to sign. As my caseworker signed the papers, the nurse looked at me. Her smile should have been warm and welcoming. And all I saw in her eyes was hunger. Excuse me? I can't stay here. Take me to the military school and lancing, please. What's the matter, sweetie? The nurse asked. Her voice muffled slightly by the glass. A bright clown. Yes, yes, my fucker. I am. The caseworker like please just shoot me in the head. Please just kill me right here. I looked into her hungry eyes. I only had eyes. Keep me in described as hungry. Now there was a malicious glint as she laughed. A caseworker laughed too obliviously and said, now, don't overreact. You'd hate the military school. Besides, this would be good for you. Yeah, this would be good for you. For I could object, I heard a slam behind me. I spent around to see an open door in the far corner of the lobby to the left of the front desk window. There was no one there, just some light that flooded in. Then, creeping shadows. Shrill echoing laughter and crowing shadows along the wall inside the door. Oh, here comes the welcome committee. As I stared in horror, clutching the strap of my backpack, my caseworker patted me on the shoulder for the last time. Don't worry, honey. It'll be different this time. You'll feel right at home here. I promise. She turned to go. I felt bile churning into my stomach. No, you can't leave me here. Oh no, I've got to get going. I never did like clowns. Me neither, bitch. God help. I always going to be cheeseburgers. She's get it. Oh, yeah. She's getting into the car and he's pressed up against a glass like, please God help. And you see like a bunch of Ronald's pulling him off the window. And with that, she left me there. Metal doors slam behind her and I was alone. I faced the open doorway by the front desk again. The shadows had almost entered the room and the piercing laughter was filling the lobby with sound. I ran for the front doors. I pounded and yanked and pushed and screamed. Screamed for help. Screamed for my caseworker. Screamed for anyone. Please God. I turn to see the nurse behind the glass smiling at me again. Then they entered a whole group of laughing nurses with clown faces in red hair. Some were male, some female, but all had the same terrifying Ronald McDonald makeup. And in the dim light of the lobby, I could see the glints of metal tools in their hands. Bringing up the rear was a pair of clown nurses rolling a metal table complete with restraints. "Get the fuck away from me!" I screamed. I pounded at the metal doors again. "Let me out of here!" they surrounded me. Grabbed me as I thrashed and screamed and tried to tear myself away, laughed as I kicked and squirmed. They slam me onto the rolling table and strapped me down. It looked around wildly. I was surrounded. "Let me go!" I screamed, twisting and turning and pulling at the restraints. They rolled me through the open doorway and down a seemingly endless white hallway. They laughed and laughed and laughed. They waived their shiny scalples and razors and needles mere inches from my face just to make me flinch and scream. It made them laugh even harder. The last thing I remember before one of them finally injected me was the hands. Glove fingers prodded inside my mouth and pulled up my lips, distorting my screams and forcing on a natural grin onto my tear-street sweaty face. Hot, rancid breath was in my face and a whispered perverted voice spoke the words. "I love to see you smile." Then as the maniacal laughter seemed to warp and wind down like a dying record player, everything faded to black. I feel like this is somewhat venting a lot about like a deep fear of clowns, I guess. Well, I just want to, I mean, it goes from, here's the thing. It's ridiculous. It goes from zero to a hundred, a zero to a million, so quickly. At the same time, though, at least it's going for it. I mean, it's boring. Exactly. I'm just saying from the happy, happy shit, it's just like, at least it's like, it's just being like, I mean, we're fucking here, we're in Ronald McDonald's fucking murder factory. I mean, at least we're here and going, you know? Yeah, we're doing something with our time, I suppose. It is insane how quickly it goes from, oh, well, I, you know, I was a bad kid. I got moved from house to house. Anyway, a posse of Ronald McDonald clowns strapped me to a table and injected me. Oh, absolutely. No, I mean, absolutely. It is, it's a zero to a hundred, for sure. Yeah, absolutely. Alvin my eyes and was blinded by bright lights above, shielding my groggy gaze from the fluorescent bulbs. I turned on my side and looked around a cell, tall white walls covered in scratch marks and stains. There's a small drain in the corner of the floor. My toilet perhaps? A door with no windows. And on the floor by the door, my backpack. I tried to set up my body ached and the moment I was upright, my vision started spinning. I wondered what they drugged me with. I realized I was shivering. I looked down. I wasn't wearing my own clothes anymore. I was wearing a dirty, ripped hospital gown, bright yellow with the pattern of Ronald, Donald heads all over. Nothing underneath. I heard faint muffled sounds from somewhere in the building. Sounded like screams. I tried to stand, but couldn't keep my balance. My vision was beginning to stabilize, but my body still felt like rubber. I sank to my knees and crawled over to my backpack. Before I got there, I tried to open the door. As expected, it was locked. I slumped onto the floor beside my backpack and unzipped it. All that remained inside was the photo album. To take in my notebooks and pins and my cell phone, of course they had. I really opened the photo album. Instead of the photos that had been in there, ones of myself, with my previous foster families, photos rided, tempted to look happy. And hopefully, even though I knew I wouldn't be there for long, instead of those photos, they were crime scene photos. And in each one, I recognized one of my former foster families, brutally murdered and covered in blood. You know what though? We didn't say that this story was written back during the kind of the peak. So I'm glad though, it was almost a hyper-realistic blood at me. But it is an actual crime scene. So I guess the clowns murder everyone you've known, all the foster families you've known. That's their strategy, I guess. My heart raced and my stomach churned. I began to turn the pages quicker. Each page, a new photo, a new family, new carnage. I recognized their faces in the inside of their homes. I lived with these people, and now they were all dead. I came to the last few pages. There was a photo of a house at night, then a window of that house, then inside the house, a dark hallway with light coming from one doorway, then a photo of my case worker, brushing her teeth in the bathroom mirror. Then a photo of her looking at the camera and horror, then a photo of her naked, covered in her own blood, contorted into an unnatural position in her bathtub. I turned to the last page written inside the back cover of the photo album were three words. You never existed. I fucking just a naked woman covered in blood in like a goddamn origami pose, and some baths up. And Rob McDonough's just like, you never existed. This is the thing with a lot of the old ones where it's like, it's a story with just the most brutal, like the idea of a naked woman brutally murdered. That's heavy, right? But the brutality is delivered by a 14-year-old who treats it with the same gravity as he does clown makeup. That just doesn't matter. It's the equivalent of kids who were like, yeah, like I set bugs on fire, and I think it's and I hate my mom. I wish she was dead. It's like that kind of pervage, but in a story. I felt biol rising in my stomach. I threw the book to the ground, crawled over to the hole in the floor and vomited. They were right. There was also a lot of vomiting in these old stories too. Oh yes, they were right. Having killed everyone who ever knew me, it was as though I never existed. I heard more faint screaming in the distance and knew I had to get out. I wiped the vomit off my face with my hospital gown and crawled back over to my backpack. Hopefully they hadn't found my secret weapon. I had a glock. I had no shit on my glock. I had zip the front pocket and reached down to the very bottom. My fingers scraping the fabric. Sure enough, there they were. Flushed with the seams in the back, nearly undetectable. The pins I used for picking locks. I told you, I'm a bad kid. Exactly. Yeah. I told you I'm a bad kid. I laid against the door and listened. I could hear footsteps approaching. But just as soon as they arrived, they faded in the other direction. I knew I had to. So also, also, again, this was written 13 years ago, a highlight of creepypasta days. This is definitely written by a kid. And you can tell because they use a lot of, like, set pieces from cartoons, like listening to the door, hearing the footsteps get close and then go away. Pretty sure that's in the Incredibles, you know, stuff like that. And then like, the thing earlier about like, oh, all the clowns come and then like you fade to black as it sounds like the voices are getting more distant. These are all cartoon motifs that they're using. I knew I had to work fast. I jiggled the handle with one hand and picked the lock with the other. It was surprisingly simple. Holding the handle, I slowly pulled myself to my feet. I could maintain my balance now. I pulled the door open just to crack. A clown nurse started past. My heart almost stopped. But his footsteps didn't slow or change and soon faded. He didn't notice me. I poked my head out the door. There were seemingly endless white hallways in either direction. The distant screams were louder now, coming from all around. Taking a deep breath, I stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind me. I decided to go to the right, passing doors identical to the one I had been in behind. I heard screams and sobbing. I stopped for a moment at one door and heard the crying of a child inside. I jiggled the handle to see if I could let him out. Locked. I kept moving. Looking behind me every few seconds to make sure no nurses had come into the hallway. Then I passed a set of white double doors. I stopped again. The word "play place" was written in tall, thin letters across the width of both doors. I heard more screaming coming from within. The screams of multiple people and laughter. The insane, shrill laughter of the clown nurses. I shuttered. I was afraid to find out what sort of torture was happening inside, and I knew I had to keep moving. I saw a door ahead with a stairway symbol and headed for it. As I opened the door, I glanced behind me and saw two clown nurses emerging from the play place room. Their white nurse outfits were covered in streaks of blood. I quickly shut myself into the stairwell, hoping they had it noticed me. The stairwell was dimly lit, cement walls and rusty railings. I looked at the door I just closed. There was a red number five on it. I must have been on the fifth floor. I decided I had to get to the ground level. Each footstep echoed as I began to descend the stairs. I couldn't hear the screaming anymore, just a low deep humming sound, like pipes in the walls. It was a welcome respite. It's such an out of place and it's in this story. Respite feels like it came out of one field to hear that word get thrown in with the bloody Ronald McDonald costumes. I finally came to the door numbered one. The staircase seemed to descend a few floors lower, but I stopped here and slowly peeks through the door. More white hallways. No clown nurses to be seen so far so good. I stepped through the door and walked into the hallway. I noticed I couldn't hear any screaming on this floor. Just the buzz of the fluorescent tube lights above. I get not not to derail off of this, but I knew the respite thing reminded me of something. Do you remember the story about the slips that we called polyamorous hell? Yeah. Okay. In that story, I think the word crest fall and showed up three in the midst of like the crest fall. In the midst of the reddit fan picture, it uses a word from like the 1700s out of nowhere to game good word. That's what everybody of respite in the Ronald McDonald killer clown. I came to the end of the hallway and another set of double doors. A large red cross, a kind you'd see on the lifeguard stand or first aid kit, was painted across the width of them. I pressed my ear to one door. All I heard was a slow, rhythmic pulse, like a machine at work, faintly a beeping sound, like you'd hear in a hospital room. Please, please be the original Ronald McDonald. Please be the first one tied up to a chair kept alive by machines like house from all out in Vegas, please. I knew I shouldn't have opened the door. I knew this wasn't the exit, but I should keep looking, but I had to see. I turned the handle. It wasn't locked. I peaked inside. It was a cavernous white room. fluorescent lights flickered and buzzed. I saw wires hanging all around. And hanging from the ceiling and rows, kids, not dang it. I want, I want to be Ronald. Kids in hospital gowns like mine attached to white wooden crosses, a fix to this. Jesus. God damn. It's a funny children. God, Lord. And the Rob McDonough house heard. Do you see what I mean by the like I set bugs on fire? Like kind of idea. He's a bad kid. I'm a bad kid. I read about other kids getting crucified on the ceiling of Ronald McDonough house. Which I was like, when we start the story, it's going to make a comment about like, do you think it's kind of bad to like take an actual charity and tie them to this? But this is so like, it's whatever you want to. Oh, call it the Wooden Warriors project for all I care. Kids in hospital gowns like mine attached to white wooden crosses, a fix to the ceiling, literally crucified. They were silent. Their heads drooping forward. Their eyes either closed or staring at nothing. Some seemed to twitch a bit, but most were still. Their crosses swung back and forth very slightly. And the hanging wires, they weren't wires. They were intravenous tubes attached to the kids' wrists, tubes sucking out their blood. I almost vomit it again right then and there. There we go, vomit. In the very center of the room, amidst the rows of hanging crosses, I could see where the rhythmic pulsing sound came from, a huge steel cylinder which seemed to be collecting the blood from all the tangled tubes that dangled from the kids' wrists. I could still be right about the Ronald thing. It could be it. I opened my mouth to scream, to cry out an anger. All I could say was, what the fuck? And my mom can't stop me from typing that here because she doesn't know about creepypasta week. She saw my Instagram account and made me stop there, but she doesn't know about this website. That was when the alarms began to sound. Loud and piercing like the police sirens of hell. They must have realized I was missing. I shut the doors and frantically grants. I shut the doors and frantically glanced around the hallway to see if anyone was coming. No signs yet. I ran for the stairwell. As soon as I entered it, I heard laughter from above, echoing and reverberating. The clown nurses were coming. I stumbled down the stairs as fast as I could. I must have gone in other three stories before I reached the basement. I found myself running through a dark, super light hallway, with small light bulbs overhead every 10 yards or so. I smelled a decay and rotting flesh grew more and more pungent as I ran. The laughter continued behind me. I managed to glance over my shoulder and see a group of them running after me. I saw them coming to the light and become silhouettes again. Their smiling faces gleaming knives and needles, pushing my adrenaline to the max. I ran past alcoves full of stacked rotting corpses, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't think of anything but escape. Again, the flippetness that just children's bodies are inserted into the story just literally piled up in the sewer. It's a classic. It's a classic trope. Oh, man. I turned a corner and found myself facing the metal rungs of a ladder in the wall. I climbed until my head smacked the ceiling. Below me, the shadows and laughter grew closer. Their footsteps slowed. They were close and they knew it. I pushed at the ceiling above me, giving upward and panting, screaming. The clowns were below me, laughing and waving their scalples. Something cut my leg. I screamed to push one last time. The ceiling gave way as the manhole cover slammed onto an asphalt above. Circular opening. I climbed out and frantically pushed the cover back over the hole, blocking out the laughter of the clown nurses below. I laid there on top of the manhole cover for a few minutes as I caught my breath. Rain fell on my skin. The turbulent night sky above was a welcoming sight. I looked around, abandoned buildings, broken glass, no lights, no cars, no signs of any life at all, a police iron somewhere in the distance, then silence. I climbed to my feet, pain shot through my leg. I looked down and saw the cut of my ankle, wearing clowners. It slashed me. Bastards. Living the best I could, I started to walk. "Hello?" I called out. The only answer was his distant roll of thunder. "Somebody! Help me please!" My foot fell on something soft and mushy. I looked down, a newspaper. I peeled it off the wet asphalt. Most of the ink faded, but I was able to make out the date. July 13, 1992. What? Is it a time travel thing? I don't know. So what happened? - What happened to life? Oh, why did he start travel? - Well, we don't know yet. - What? - What? - What happened to life, what happened to him? Why did that, okay? - All right, I dropped it. An icy dread filling my stomach. I kept walking. - Can anyone hear me? Please, anyone? - Please. - My words faded into delirious sobs. I stood still for a moment. The rain had soaked through my thin hospital gown. I shivered as the wind blew. Then I saw a light in the distance. It was a big yellow M in the sky. I'm McDonald's, of course. I limped toward it. When I got to the place, I saw that apart from the M, the rest of the building was completely dark. I walked cautiously toward the broken windows and looked inside darkness. I turned and surveyed the playplace outdoor playground. 10-foot tall structures of colored tubes for kids to crawl through. Sitting at one of the benches was a familiar figure. A Ronald McDonald statue. You know, the wolf. You know, the one where you can sit beside him and it looks like he's got his arms around your shoulders. Every kid seen it. I shuddered at the sight. The doors were unlocked. I walked in out of the rain, silence, darkness. I noticed that the decor wasn't like the modern McDonald's you see. It was the same as it was in the '80s with white plastic boots and red and yellow tiles. The winds seemed whispers through the broken windows. I noticed something on the front counter, a black rectangle. I got closer, a laptop, a nearly new laptop. I let out a soft, delirious laugh. I knew what I was supposed to do. I took the laptop outside and set beside the Ronald statue. I opened it and began to type the story. The rain is falling on the keys, but I don't care. There's nothing left to do now, but wait. Because I've been noticing out of the corner of my eye, Ronald is trying to look over my shoulder. He's laughing now. All I can do is join him. Don't, don't, don't. You know what? For a classic creepypasta story, doesn't make any fucking, I mean, like it's so, it's so random. But there's just that charm, man. I always live when we kind of come across these old classics from over a decade ago and still just has like a little bit of charm. The children crucified on the ceiling is the true cherry top. That's so good. And I choose to believe that the thing is I was right and the thing inside of the cylinder was the original Ronald McDonald. Yeah, like he's like an embryo kind of, yeah, some kind of weird thing. You know what? All pretty fun. A fun to have. You have the exact same Ronald McDonald bench. I do. I have a 1985 Ronald McDonald statue and it's I'm looking at it right now. He's beautiful. Yeah. And the bench and the bench. So you could go, you could, you could be the kid and you could join Ronald. I will have, I will make my own Ronald McDonald house and before too long, I will crucify children and put them up on my ceiling. That's just has to be. These are just so interesting to me because it's like, what was the train of thought that led to it? It's like no. Did this kid see an image of like an 80s McDonald's with like the old booths and stuff? And he got kind of like the liminal feeling that's been, you know, super, you know, played out now. But I think kids just write things from what they know, you know, I mean, like it's just this idea. It's the same thing of why there's a Squidward suicide and it's just these things of, they just know about it, they know other kids know about it. And it's just, there's just the level of innocence. It's so funny too. It's just like, what's the most, what's the weirdest, most fucked up thing I can think of to put into a story. And I love that the story doesn't really have like any real purpose besides being like, what if, what if there's a place where Ronald McDonald, the people dressed up like clowns and they tried killing you? But there's no real explanation anything. It's just like these little vignettes of like crazy thoughts. And there's like a really, there's like an interesting charm to that, just it's just from a different time, you know, I just, that's, that's why I like it. It's fun. Yeah. Yeah. I like the, how it goes from like, oh, I was a bad kid. So anyway, here's the crazy nurses and it's a giant building and the kids are crucified. Anyway, I'm Tive traveled now for some reason to July 13, 1992, which as far as I can find does not mean anything like that date has no significance. And I'm in an old McDonald's and I'm now part of the McDonald's collective, something that's not been brought up or mentioned at any point, I can't tell if, if that's supposed to be an extension of the Ronald McDonald House is where I'm thinking it's, it's maybe is. Either that or time travel. We just don't know. I don't know. Regardless. It was fun. You know, it's a close one between the two, but I kind of say, I think I like that first story to touch better. Yeah. Luigi Bordeaux was fun. That's our episode today, guys. Thank you for joining along with us and hanging out. Be sure to check out the links below and support the authors. We really would appreciate that. Thank you to our audio listeners over on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and where you can to an app podcast. Thanks for giving us a nice rating and also thank you to our patrons and if you want some extra content, check out the patron. It helps us out. Until next time, guys, stay creeped. We'll see you next week. Stay creeped. Appreciate you guys. And the motorcycle wreck was very cool and scary and brave of me in the time. The video just didn't do it justice and Hunter's wrong for making fun of me for it. So just remember that I'm special. Bye. [Music] [Music]