Roasting Actual Fans Worst Photos

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. We're back to the handheld, Mike. But today I'm gonna be roasting your photos, okay? Greg reached out to you guys via social media and was like, send me your worst photos on let Joe roast them. So that's what we're doing today. Let's see who these brave people are. Ivana says I was absolutely abusing my wax pen at the time for those of you who don't partake a wax pen, especially if you're abusing it, that's gonna put you on Mars, okay? Just for context. I found that fake mustache in the bathroom and immediately put it on my face. I did not think twice. (laughing) I was not expecting that, dude. This is what I mean. You see, you abuse a wax pen. This is the type of shit that's gonna happen to you, okay? You're gonna look like a tired turtle. Which is what's going on here. This looks like the turtle from what's that movie? Finding Nemo. First of all, that eye, one of the eyes is following me around right now. You know what I mean? It's like the Mona Lisa. You just, if you kind of just sway, it kind of looks at you. Whatever. To be fair, I think in any situation, if you're slightly not sober and you find a fake mustache, that's a fine end of diamond in the rough. You gotta throw that thing on, take some photos. Unfortunately for you, I think you need a glass of water. Damn, the mustache, you need a pint of water to the face. I love how happy her friend is in the back, just knowing that she's gonna regret this in the morning. Yeah, yeah, her friend is not happy at all. What's her name, Ivana? Yeah. Ivana, yeah, we appreciate you, Ivana. All right, next we have Riley. Didn't land the jump on the horse. Oh my God, please tell me. Oh! Oh my God. There's people who watch me that are equestrians? Bad ones at that? (laughing) There's people who watch me who suck at horse riding. That's awesome. Yeah, this looks dangerous though. Like this literally looks like you're about to land on your head or your face. Did it hit the gate or something? I have no other context for you, I have no other. Fuck, I mean, yeah, this looks crazy dangerous, dude. I hope you're okay. I hope the horse is okay, too. I mean, this looks like you got thrown for a bit. I mean, I'm not getting up from this. This is over, okay. Put a fake mustache on me and leave me on the ground. The next is from Grace. She says I was destined to be chopped from the beginning. What does that mean? I mean, it's just a baby picture. What am I supposed to do with this? Am I supposed to go like, oh, look at this stupid baby. Yeah, baby's chopped. First of all, that's not an ugly baby. That's a cute, chunky baby. Okay, I look like that, too. Like this is normal. You're wearing a cute hat. Your bracelet's screaming for its life. This is what you want out of a baby picture, you know what I mean? This isn't chopped. Babies are a little chunky, dude. You should have seen me. I had fat rolls in the middle of my forearms. There's not even a fold there. You know, like this is what you want. I think you're chopped, dude. All right, you passed the test. You passed the test. Oh, you're tested me? I make fun of a baby. All right, next is from Sam. I don't even play guitar. I'm just a bitch. What? Oh, my God. Sam is such a dude guitar player, guy named, too. What are you wearing, dude? Like, what is that? I'm very confused by this. This does feel like something a kid in high school would do when you're trying to impress a girl. If she says like, I love guys who play guitar. And you're like, well, I have one line around. I'm going to look like I can play it. And then I'm going to put on this hat for whatever reason. I also love how your hand, the other hand's not on the guitar. It's behind your head. Like, you're just like, yeah, that's me with the guitar. No big deal. Yeah, this is bad. This is bad, dude. He also sent in an updated photo. This is what Sam evolved into. So from that photo, this is where we have Sam now. Sam, who's Sam, the one on the right? I don't know which one. They both kind of look alike. OK. OK. So it went from fake guitar to-- Is that a Halloween party? I'm very confused here. I don't know what's going on. But for some reason, I feel like you're on the right path. You know? That feels like a progression that makes sense. Next is from Lauren. I applied for my global entry card. And I get this monstrosity in the mail. Either the show that was on delay or the lady had it out for me. Before I look at this, before I look at this, I just want to say that I just took one of these photos and I felt the same exact way. They do not prepare you for when it's going to happen. They're just kind of like, all right, right now, I'm going to take a photo. I go. And then I'm just kind of like looking like a moron. I'm disheveled in that moment. So I already have sympathy for you. But let's see how bad it is. Yeah, that's not the greatest photo of anybody. It almost looks like you don't have a nose. And someone drilled two holes right into your face, like straight on. Because of the angle, what is wrong with border patrol that they think taking a photo from like here real quick in motion is going to do favors for anybody, you know? You have to change this photo not only because that's a crazy photo. And I think that you're probably much better looking than this, but we all have to, this is a thumb. We know that. And I'm not saying that about your actual appearance. I just think they've done you dirty with the angle and everything else. And I've been there, believe me. However, this isn't good for just security reasons. Okay, you're going to get to the border. You're going to have global entry. They're going to be like, this isn't you. Get the fuck out of here. Okay, we know that everything's going on right now. We don't want to get detained because the fucking guy who took the picture was like, "Yep, here we go." Next, but Lauren, my God, that's a rough one. That is a rough one. I hope you're doing all right. All right, next one is from Aaron. I was 16 or 17 years old. Those are 100% fake diamond earrings. I didn't graduate high school, but I did eventually get my GED. Oh my God, I already know what this dude smells like. Oh, I knew it! This is exactly what you thought, dude. This is exactly what I thought. 16, 17, fake earrings. It's like, oh man. I mean, the fucking t-shirt, by the way, let's throw the whole thing out. Let's throw everything out in this photo, dude. Oh, wait, hold on. You're telling me that guy didn't graduate high school? What? (laughing) No way, this guy? I will say this. I'll meet you halfway. Because when I was in high school, I probably would have saw this photo and be like, "Let's fucking sick." (laughing) When I was in high school, I'd probably be like, "Damn, this shit is fire, dude." My sister, like, talked me out of getting earrings, and that's the blessing that you have of having older siblings who like to bully you, is that this could have been me, you know, but I was saved by my very judgmental sister. So, you know, I was forced out of this path. So I had a time this was cool. Maybe around 2006. Right now, looking back, bad. It's bad, Erin. The next one is Hannah. Didn't do great on the roller coaster. (laughing) It looks like Lauren's global entry picture. Contact, she's completely passed out. She's passed out? Yeah. Dude, I've never experienced that. I've seen videos of people passing out on roller coasters and their heads just rocking back and forth. I don't know what causes that, but this is a good one. I mean, that just looks like a full sleep. Like, you look like you're in a rend, dude. Like, you're gonna get off this thing and be like, "I had a dream, I was a leprechaun." Like, you're so out of it. I mean, the girl next to you also is grabbing her head. Like, she was hit by something. This, what's going on? This is a very dangerous roller coaster. Like, with the context that I'm getting, it doesn't look very safe. So, you know, I think it's a blessing, actually, that you fell asleep for that one. All right, next one is Willow. This is the first day of seventh grade. Let me have it. I know this is gonna be bad. Oh! Willow, this is, this is. Panic at the disco. Great band, but my god. This is the most stereotypical outfit I've ever seen. We already know what she was like in middle school, okay? She dressed like this and she made cat noises in the hallway. And she chased people on all fours, okay? You can see this person hanging out with her friends, playing hacky sack. And then for some reason they get on all fours and start running around the school yard. And you're like, what's going on? You know, but they don't conform. That's what's going on here. (laughs) This also looks like a bunch of people that I went to middle school with. There's always a group of panic at the disco people. I will say this, visionaries, because I love panic at the disco, but it took me some time before I can appreciate it. I don't know if I've ever appreciated it this way. The Beatles juice pants are outrageous, by the way. I do respect it, but they're outrageous. It's a fit. I will say that this is another thing that I will say. Back then, it's a fit, bro. It's a fit. She's getting it off. She's wearing it. It's like, we can look back and be like, this is bad. But at the time, bro, this is like a royalty, basically. (laughs) All right, before we get to the rest of this video, we do have some sponsors. The first one being Square, okay? Square is a point of sale system. And maybe some of you are like, what is that? But we took it on the road with us. 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So if you want to use Square, you can go to square.com/go/jo and you will get $200 off of your Square Hardware, okay? So go to square.com/go/jo And you'll get two. $200 off of that square hardware enjoy and we also have sea geek sea geek is where you're gonna go to buy all your Tickets so the nice weather's coming maybe you want to go to a baseball game or go to a concert or whatever it is They got everything up there they have a they thousands and thousands of events every single day With tickets available to purchase so you can go to Seat geek go down out the app and it's a lovely interface to let you know if you're paying a good price for a ticket or a bad price for a ticket Because they're color coded which I like I like that. I like knowing when I'm getting ripped off or not So they have that and yeah, I've been using them for years. They're amazing and right now we can save you some money So if you download Seat geek and use the code Joe 2026 you will get 10% off of your next set of tickets on Seat geek And that could be anything all right You want to go to some place nice maybe take somebody get 10% off. Why pay the extra 10% use that code Joe 2026 and go download Seat geek and enjoy Next is Lucia. I had a fedora phase. I also had bad eczema people literally thought I had leprosy Why are you making me do this? She submitted it. I know she submitted it But I just you know the hat is so big and like I feel this is a child who's going through something You know and like this is and I feel so bad that you're a bullied and like you look 80 This is so fucked the hat is massive. Can we get that looks like you know the police chiefs in the UK Like they show up to the scene with those hats and they're like what's going on here And it's like are you gonna take your hat off like this is getting ridiculous now, you know what I mean like that's it That looks like I'm glad it was a phase I'd probably you know avoid wearing this again But she's good now. She's good now. Yeah, she's fine. Why are you making me make fun of the child with like severe eczema? Like you're not nice. What's her name? Oh? Lucia. Lucia. You're not nice to me. Jesus. This is from Jonathan had our company's holiday Christmas party at the owner's house I tried to go shop for a shot with him and it was a big mistake did it hold on before we Before we even look at this photo holiday party like the company holiday party is a trap And you just can't fall for it. Okay, especially the boss. It's like everything's cool to someone throws up on the couch Or someone takes a weird picture or people peeing in places. They shouldn't be now you're getting fired all right to drink Maximum at the holiday party. Keep your jobs. All right. Let's see what Jonathan did though This is actually a series of three photos. That's not a good story from his evening. Okay. He's he's clearly possessed by The demon of tequila so far. All right, and he just needs a hand He needs help up. He's he's falling. I also will say when you're hammered and and a bathroom throws checkered floors at you That's what like that's not a good place to be because you're like I didn't sign up for a fucking optical illusion right now You know, so I got some sympathy. Let's see the third one Is this the boss's house Where does he live? There's a Miller light framed photo at his house And what is this guy do? Look at the look at the fucking tiles the tiles are not lined up in the slightest Who did this? He's holding a pool cue This guy tried to play pool. He went to hit the eight ball and he just lost his balance. Yeah All right, next one's from Christian had aspirations of being a model at the time. Oh, this is gonna be Amber Crombie bad Even worse than that the hot buddy. Are you on a train? You're doing dude. You're on a train and you're wearing a Chris Angel vest Who you who is this fault? Like you're trying to model for what company? Are you trying to model for a haunted house? Like what is this outfit here? He is on a train. Yeah, it's a train Oh, it's a legitimate train. Is it moving? How did he even get this photo? I mean listen bad fit Just a just overall not great. I do think that you could be a model though. I do think you got it You got to look about you the fit though, bro. The fit's bad next one's from Maggie Drunk sig in a gas station hot dog. Oh my god, dude I am just floored by this to be honest with you sitting in the Adirondack with the fucking hot dog Aluminum foil just open hot dog in the middle of my trachea Sigurate about to be obliterated. I mean, this is a fucking unbelievable night. You're happened I didn't even know humans could have eyes that big like if I took her eyes out of her head I feel like they'd be the size of a tennis ball She is clearly shocked by something. This is incredible. Oh, is that a big gulp also? Empty by the way This just looks like a good summer night. You know, I hope you rip that sig to hell All right, next is from Aiden thought I was cool. Didn't realize someone wrote this on my car What's that I eat ass Yeah, I mean also that hat any way you turn it looks too big It looks massive. It almost looks photoshopped onto your head or you're missing some of your head Like I don't know what's going on. The hat looks massive. I think turned the right way it would look insane But yeah, I eat ass on the side of the car. That is something that I would like I enjoy that you know when I was a kid You run around you see a car that has some dust on it. I'm drawing a dick. I'm drawing a dick with hairy balls I mean, that's what you're supposed to do. That's what children do you draw stuff you leave weird fucking comments like this Just being a child. All right, this next one's from Tanner, but there was no context given. We're gonna be surprised here Oh my god Somehow, I respect this man like you know, it's going on. You know what I mean shave the top of that head letting the fucking Sides grow baby. What is he drinking? Is that just like a gallon of milk or something? I think it's chocolate milk. It's chocolate milk This guy pulls up somewhere, right? You're at a party. This guy pulls up bald head long sides Pined of chocolate milk probably cigarettes. We know that are you not being like that's the most interesting guy I've ever seen in my entire life He's a weird freak he looks like a weird freak, but I want to get to know him and know what's going on in his head You know what I mean? Also, I love that he like wrote on top of this to hide something like Like what is he wearing? Yeah, like he like was is hiding something here. So he's got secrets to this guy's mysterious dude. Nexus from frank. Yeah Yeah, I actually took this photo. I took this photo. This was in the green room at our Boston show And it was after the show and the people had got us this cake because we were named people magazine sexiest podcasters of the year or whatever And they had a cake and on the side of it was this blue icing and as you can tell by Frank's tongue Very blue. Okay, and he's like I have to try it. They got us a cake. I have to try it I think that lasted a couple days on them last one says Joe. Don't do this to me Greg. Don't oh no I why did I send this to you? Are you put it in the video you bastard? Yeah, this is a bad one man I like I found this picture the other day and I sent it to Greg and I'm like look at this I don't even know whose jacket that is dude. I don't even remember having that jacket the jeans Yeah, we could have sized up there The Yeezies by the way, it's just you know, and then the check. I mean, I just not a good My proportions were all off as you can tell there that's in front of the bean In Chicago freezing day absolutely freezing, but yeah, that's not a good one either You don't look American either would look like a low-level like Russian mobster You know low-level European is that what you're saying? Yeah, I'll take it I get I do kind of look yeah, I do kind of It's not a yeah, I should be smoking in this too Yeah, but I don't just speaking Italian and just and ripping a cigarette. Yeah with a little purse man purse Yeah, you know, I think people will respect that more when you find out that I'm just a an American Who just you know can't dress That changes things so that's not good So I'm right there with all of you guys, but we appreciate you guys being brave and sending us those photos Some of them worse than others, but very funny to look back on and laugh But I appreciate everyone who sent in a photo. This is hilarious. That actually made me laugh my ass off So thank you Don't forget to subscribe. We'll see you next time