Road Trip w/ 5 Kids Under 5 & The Truth About Traveling With Friends

this episode is brought to you by nordstrom for 125 years nordstrom has been part of your story the stylist who found the perfect outfit for your big interview the first pair of walking shoes for your one-year-old the tomato soup you shared with your sister at the cafe these are the moments that make nordstrom nordstrom big or small we're here for all of it celebrating 125 years with new moments still ahead discover it all in nordstrom stores and nordstrom.com propel fitness water with gatorade electrolytes zero sugar and vitamins propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self what propels you propel with gatorade electrolytes i don't take vacations with my kids yeah yeah i want to literally not move but a trip yeah we're gonna jam pack it that's a good differentiation we've gone on plenty of trips we've had different budgets and because there's always been an understanding of like you guys might do something different than us if you can't have that conversation don't travel with them because you don't want to walk away from a trip and feel bitter towards your friends yes abby and i have five kids under five that have been in the car all day long and we don't have a vehicle that can take them anywhere we have directions but we don't know where they're taking us welcome back to always here we're your hosts abby howard and abby howard i believe we've been really sinking sinking synchronization i know it's always like a good tell of how this is gonna go today yeah are we skipping at the beginning are we or is it flowing is it flowing i'm gonna cough so much i literally just got back from burn and body weight conditioning got me windy dude i like every time i take a sharp inhale it's like i love that feeling sometimes yeah i'm like oh yeah i really pushed them today well yeah speaking of the lungs and also i'm like gosh take a deep breath i was so proud of myself just doing jump ropes today i was like look at me i'm jumping you were crushing it jump ropes i started i was yelling at addy i go come on eddie yeah i was sad so i was just like this the whole time i didn't even realize but i was able to jump yes everything yes great um yeah we all went does it feel good being back how does it feel being 27 weeks pregnant 28 28 weeks pregnant 27 and a half are you no i'm 28 are you on your pelvic rest i'm off pelvic rest all right perfect i was talking to at we went to burn together yesterday and i was like oh yeah i was so sore from doing leg day the other day for the first time in eight weeks and abby goes that's longer than i've been off yeah doing six weeks it's a long time but it all moved the placenta is up a praise yeah over two centimeters away so we are back to jumping and moving and grooving the time they do move yeah they that's what i'm like it's really that big of a deal well but that like did what i do that's what i wondered too did me not working out fully affect and having intercourse affect that yeah i wondered that too i was like is this really gonna move the needle or was it is this really gonna move the placenta that's what i really want to know is if it actually worked it works for both of you but would it have worked if you didn't listen um it's not a risk i'm willing to take i don't know not a risk i'm willing to say yeah yeah totally maybe if it worked then maybe maybe it's less likely i don't know man yeah are you feeling sore being back you know um i was the first day i went back yeah and then i was a little sore this morning we'll see how i am after today is your third time back yeah yeah those first maybe third or four every day i was in pain i know yeah well i think it's because i worked out and then i got sick the first time back yeah i think it's because i worked out and then i got sick the first time back yeah this is like from having body aches how much is sore i think a lot of those just from being really sore from that sure my legs you went back in a leg day was that it was actually back in glutes but my legs were sore from that day which says i might be doing something wrong no that was a hard day i was sore too i feel like when i came back after being pregnant in postpartum i felt fitter in my pregnancy than i did six weeks postpartum i was like dang but it's because you're modifying when you're pregnant and you go back and you're doing the moves full out you what strength you lost you're like well these moves are so hard and then you don't have the body strength everything just feels kind of weird everything oh all the joints feel like they're just you didn't work out for six weeks you worked out your whole pregnancy yeah you take six weeks full weeks off and then you try and get back into it you're like hey we're just like trying to um listen at burn and like understand what they're saying when you've been out of it for so long you're like what was the exercise again like i'm just gonna follow you yeah that's actually my hope is i can work out again yeah it's been so good it's really hard to try to fit in the schedule though it is until they're a little bigger it's easier right now it's really hard to try to figure out when to do that like my milk is coming during the workouts and i'm panicked that he's gonna need to eat because i'm like if it's coming in then maybe he's hungry you're like yeah don't feed no i literally was like matt do not feed him yes i remember those texts do it because that will just make it so much more annoying but um yeah it's been so good to get back it's just really hard to fit it in yeah totally so i'm just like i'm just like i'm just like i'm just like i'm just i'm gonna just try to be like if i get a workout in then that's a bonus and have like zero expectations of like i used to be like i need to work out this many times a week and it's just i can't do that unfortunately for sure if you guys are curious we share our hope in our heart with heart and humor oh yeah that's your hope that's my hope did you have a hard um i broke my nail oh that's annoying dang those are cute too yeah really and it really hurts dang yeah how'd you do it um really actually nothing serious i probably was like doing dishes or something oh i have the weakest nails ever but you know you know sometimes we have really heavy hards and sometimes just as much as a broken nail will really send you yeah i had um i don't get my nails done that often but this is such like a core memory the one time i had my nails done like years ago and i got stuck on my gas tank in my car and it ripped it off and it i was like oh i'm in tears it hurts it's so bad yeah it really hurt people underestimate how bad that hurts it really hurts and here's the thing i don't know if you've ever had a hard time with a broken nail i don't i only get my nails done i shouldn't say only it's a lot to get your nails done every three weeks but i'm like i can't it's like that pushes it it is pushing it and um sometimes i don't even make it now you know it's getting pushed longer and longer and so i'm like i absolutely can't go back until at least three weeks and so we're just gonna be sitting like this until saturday at the earliest well it looks like a clean cut do you have to know i had to cut it off because it was sharp it was dangling and it was pulling and that really hurt oh but now it's really sensitive yeah it looks good though i didn't notice no problem it's just shorter this is also guys this is why i get my nails done yes those are really cute i have really short nail beds look at that hey i think your nails look really good i actually have baby hands look at that they're cute you want to get my nails done it doesn't move the needle like they still look just not very i wouldn't recognize you with your nails done i know i was thinking about that it's very chic that you don't get your nails done thanks it's honestly i don't like the feeling of my nails long so i just keep them short because it kind of makes me feel like i'm not going to get my nails done i don't like the feeling of my nails kind of it drives me it suits you it suits you i don't think i'll never do it like i could see myself going getting just gel to keep them clean and nice but as of right now i'll just keep them bare it's a hassle we were trying to find places in our budget to like move things around a little bit and i was like i don't need to get my nails done and blake's like no we're keeping that in the budget well that's fun kilb's like you don't need to do that and like you're right it's fine he would like me to also get my toes done and i'm like that's too much to ask oh oh my gosh that's funny that's sweet yeah no every time i go to the nail salon i i wonder if anyone else experiences this like i want to listen to something in my ears but i feel so rude doing it but then i see other people doing it i'm like you know they probably just had a conversation with them and said like hey if you need anything or i'm just gonna put these in and then every time i don't have that conversation then we start going and i'm like thinking the whole time i'm like maybe i could introduce it once they take the nails off and we start switching it and then i'm gonna think the heck out of that and then by the end i haven't listened to anything and we also haven't talked because a lot of times it doesn't feel like where i go they really want to have a lot of conversation i kind of try to fill that out i think there's usually like um like a communication barrier sure and then i'm like i'm so sorry you just gotta walk in with your headphones on and then move it to the side and be like oh yeah i'm here for my appointment is that rude no okay why would that be rude and then when you tell them what you want you smile you're friendly and then you just put it back in okay they're probably like oh for break i don't have to try and talk to you they don't want to talk to me you know what's wrong with me okay i'm gonna try that next time yeah see if that then you don't feel the pressure you just walk in the expectation set so weird because i don't even really normally think of myself as an overthinker but that is something i really overthink well you never want people to think you're rude i know i get that rude or like too busy for other people no but i'm like they don't want to talk as long as you're nice and friendly when they need your help yeah i had the first time where i went and i was like i actually really liked how they turned out and so i wanted like where i want to request that that person which i feel like is good and bad because then i'm like now i'm working around their schedule rather than oh yeah i want so i don't know tricky but they got the shape right and that's just yeah they do look really good i like the pattern you pick with the double it cost me five dollars extra worth it's like it was worth it that is worth it why do i always get scared that when i go get my nails done it's gonna be a hundred something dollars oh sometimes it's yeah because i feel like when you get the the patterns and the fun stuff and the more colors they're like it's weird This was 55 with tip. Oh, that's not with tip. For like, yeah, for my tip. I don't tip as probably as much as you do. I'll call myself out. That's so funny. They look really good. We're really committing to this rabbit hole, but I have one more thing to say. No, this is good. Nothing gets me more hate than sharing my nails on my story. Wait, what? The nail hitters are really intense. What do they say? They're like, oh my, they're like puke emoji, puke emoji. Fire nail girl. This is horrible. What? Yeah. So I'm like, hey guys, there's nothing she could do, sweetheart. These are my nails. I have horrible nails. And you know what? I'm there for speed. If you just can hold it to here and it looks good, that is, I am so pleased. I think they're doing the best they can with what they got. And I'm like, gosh, maybe I should just respond to them one of these times and just be like, okay, just actually give me some feedback here. No, like every single. The whole time, it's literally like, oh, puke. I think, you know, someone was like, I think Abby's nail girl hates her. The diss. And I was like, it's different every time. It's someone different every time. You just can't win. Can't win, I know. What's your hard? That was my hard. Oh, yes. Sorry, I was getting mixed up. What's your hard? You know what? Here's another rabbit hole. A little PSA to the people. Let's stop allowing our dogs to poop on the sidewalks. Okay? It's an epidemic. It's an epidemic. Really? Yes. And it's going to become a pandemic because I'm stepping in it and I'm bringing the poop into my house. And I'm just not about that. If you have a dog and you're not bringing poop bags, go back home. Go back home. And if you forgot your poop bags and your dog had an accident, go back home. Get a bag. Go back and clean it up and be a responsible adult of society. And if you have a small dog, don't think we don't see your doggies little doo-doo because it's there for at least six months. It's not fertilizer. It's gross. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of stepping in it. I'm sick of dodging it with my stroller. And it's been hard. It's hard. You know? I stepped in some today and it really just licked some fire in my chest. Yes. In the middle of like, there was, I mean, there was no reason for a dog to poop there. And there were so many restaurants around. I'm like, go get some napkins and wipe it up. I know. It just really, my dad, this is actually a generational anger in my family because my dad had a t-shirt made like 10 years ago. It says, pick up your dog's essay. S-H-I-T. And he wears it when he runs on the trails. So passive aggressive. I love that. Yeah. And he like would talk about it on the radio all the time. So this is like, I'm now understanding his rage. You're carrying it on. Yes. Okay. So just a PSA. I'm mad. I'm mad. What can we do? You know how they have neighborhood watch signs? You can just be neighborhood poop watch. Dude, my neighborhood is unbelievable. There are at least four spots right now around the, like our neighborhood has a park. Four spots on the sidewalk. Where people just let their dog poop. Okay, here's the thing. Pretzel won't even poop on a walk. Let alone on the sidewalk. I know. I'm like, it's concrete. That's so weird. Also, it's a neighborhood. Go home and come back and clean it up. It's just crazy. We get messages like bi-weekly because I live in an apartment complex about people picking up their poop. And I'm like, I literally never left my dog's poop. Never. Ever. There was one time when I was on a walk back in Springfield where Wrigley was, Wrigley poops about 10 times on a walk. Yes. He just. Really? He had the opposite poop. So you bring a roll of poop. You bring rollbacks. So I bring the roll. It's always the roll. Yes. But here's the thing. He was in someone's yard. He didn't have any poop left. He was just. So I'm like, and the person pulled up. And I'm not bending down to pick up any poop. They probably think I just left it. I'm like, he didn't. I promise he didn't poop. He was just scratching. He was like, I'm sorry. He was just scooting in the yard. My dad used to get really mad if neighbors left their dog's poop in our yard and they didn't pick it up. And he'd go outside and be like, don't forget to pick it up. Like, yeah, he would say things. And I'm honestly like, yeah. Yeah. Fair. We'd be so embarrassed as kids. But it was. Because, you know, then we don't have dogs. So he'd go to mow the lawn and he'd roll over poop. And it would just really. My dad's a germaphobe. It would just send him. So, yeah, it's been passed on to me. Do you know what they did? What? In Your Friends and Neighbors. Have you seen that show? No, but I've heard good things. They. Someone kept. Someone kept letting their dog poop on her lawn. So she picked it up and put it in a paper bag and put it on their doorstep. I think that's a great. My dad got in an altercation with one of my neighbors about it. I probably shouldn't share that story. Cut my camera. Cut that one back out. It's all right. Anyway, that's my heart. I just feeling really mad about it. And I've been thinking about a lot. And I was like, should I make a real? Should I make like a public service? Yeah, you should. I said, here it is. So we can clip this if we think it'll do well and send it out. My hope. I mean, my parents moved back in. We moved them in yesterday to their apartment. I know. I'm so excited. They'll be kind of back and forth. And for the next couple weeks or couple months. I'm so excited to have them back. Oh, I know. That's so hopeful. I'm so excited going back into the season of all of our moms being here. I know. It's so fun. I feel safer that way. It does. I know. I'm like, oh, phew, my mom's here. I feel better that Rich is here. Personally. No, I know. I'm like, she got us. She got us. My mom sent me a picture of her flight information. I was like, oh, sweet. Yes. I know. It's the best. See how my parents are here right now. It's really fun. Thank you to all of you. Thank you to Shopify for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. We both have experience in e-commerce. We're experienced businesswomen. Look at us. Look at us. Because we couldn't have done this on our own. Truly, we couldn't have. And that is why we are thankful to Shopify. Shopify is literally the platform when it comes to getting your e-commerce up and running. They have a tool for everything. And as we enter the holiday season, if you want record-breaking, reliable holiday selling, you got to be using Shopify. Shopify's pre-built website themes and AI Site Builder make it really easy to launch a very beautiful, a very professional-looking store without ever touching a line of code. They have so many options on their website from free templates to maybe ones that you spend a little bit more on just to really have a customized experience. Shopify powers millions of businesses worldwide from household names to small businesses just getting started like Biswa Beauty, Bolt Boutique. Shopify has the power to handle all of your holiday traffic. So if you want to launch before Black Friday, it's the time of year when more people are already shopping and ready to buy. And it's quite literally the best time to start a business. If you're ready to launch, you can do it. If you want to launch your business before Black Friday, go to Shopify.com slash Abby to start your free trial. That's Shopify.com slash Abby. Go to Shopify.com slash Abby today to hear your first. Yeah, we've got a fun episode. We're talking about travel because we just recently went on a trip. Yes, we went on a trip. Me and Abby are still trying to plan a trip, but she's too busy for me. Yeah. No, it's actually Blake. She doesn't think you're compatible. Blake was the busy one. She doesn't think we're compatible. No, I'm. She's worried. She's worried about traveling with you guys. I'm worried about traveling with you guys. How much earlier are we going to be somewhere? Yeah, wait. Okay, what is type C? Worse than type B, I think. Oh, I think it's a mix of A and B. Or is it a mix of A and B? Oh, okay, okay, okay. Okay. In my head, I want to say that's me, but it's just not. I'm not. I'm not C. I feel like you're type C. You are a very good example of type C. Thank you very much. I feel like I used to be type B. Yes. And then I married Matt and became type C. Yeah. Because like work things, planning things, doing things like that, you're very good at. Thank you. And then I feel like the chiller things that can be chill, you're very chill at. Totally. That's so nice, guys. Which is like type A, you can't be chill about the chill things. Agreed. And you don't stress about a lot. Yeah. Even like the stuff that you're managing, you're not really stressed about it. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. I don't know if that's always the case, but. Well, let's hope he's off. Thank you. You don't let it affect other people. It's a charade. She's got us all fooled. Yeah. So give us a recap of you guys' new portrait. It was so fun. The reason it came about is because for Father's Day, we were looking at concert tickets for Caleb to go see John Bellion. It's one of his recent favorite artists. And he had a concert in Hollywood Bowl, which isn't a far drive. LA is what, six hours from here? So I thought, oh, it'd be really fun if you and Matt, your brother, or you and a friend went and just did a trip for the night up to LA, saw the concert, and maybe still had stayed. And then as I was thinking about it, I'm like, well, what if we just took a. I was like, what if we all just kind of went? Or did you say that? I think it was me, because I was like, I cannot lose Matt for one night. Maybe that is what happened. I was like, maybe Matt and Caleb can go, and you're like, maybe we just make it a whole family thing. He's going, I'm going. But also, I feel like at six weeks with all three of my boys, we were like itching to go on like a trip, but didn't want to go on a plane yet. Yeah. And so it's a good way to kind of just like dip your toes into travel with like the new baby. Mm-hmm. And also, I just really wanted to go to the beach. Yeah. Which we didn't spend a ton of time at the beach, but. No, but it was so beautiful. It was really fun. Yeah. We walked around the beach a lot. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But we didn't spend a lot of time sitting on the beach. Yeah. So honestly, the trip got off to a fun and chaotic start. Yeah. I mean, it took us six hours. It took us the amount of time. Our drive up there was so easy. We stopped once for like 30 minutes. We got Taco Bell. I thought that was funny. Yeah. We got. We got Taco Bell. I've never seen those little containers. The container bowls were so good. It was amazing. No, I looked at the menu and I was like, I want the Crunchwrap Supreme. I want a Supreme Crunchy Taco. And I was like, fine, I'll get the Power Bowl. Yeah. But it was delicious. I'll get it again. Yeah, the container bowl. How did you not stop? Well, okay, we left around 10. How did you not. We left around 10, so they had already eaten breakfast. They were settled. Got in. Vivian fell asleep for her first nap. CJ watched a movie. So we kind of just went through that whole. But how do you not have to go potty? um i don't know he's got like an uncanny sometimes he just holds it for no reason listen this is a mistake i made because i'm like oh he's potty trained he'll tell us when he has to go and then he fell asleep and he did have an accident all over himself in the car seat so even if your kids potty trained put him in a pull-up because when they sleep they obviously still wear pull-ups and so yeah so we took a break we took a i think it was like two and a half or three hours into the trip we took our first stop got gas got lunch the kids stretched their legs went to the bathroom and then went back to it and cj just watched movies the whole time and then took a nap wow i know and if vivian started fussing we just kind of reached back and threw a puff at her because she couldn't she wouldn't grab it out of her hands we just throw it at her head but i knew she ate them because they weren't in her seat so she was like she's having fun that's fun yeah it was really smooth i mean ours was as smooth as it could be but it took us nine hours there and nine and a half back i will say we could have done things a little bit more strategically really yeah with like how we charged our car that was the other thing that does take time yeah and so how long does it take to charge your car over an hour yeah to full charge sure um and then i had a nurse's baby everyone had to go to the bathroom multiple times i put them in pull-ups and they refused to go with them do you have a toilet in your back seat have you thought about that no if i had a girl i would yeah that's true i'm just kind of like you ever just pull on the side of the road and you're just like let go yeah for sure that's what i think we just have we open the door and then just have them like yeah out yeah and um yeah but it's hard that's because i'm like i don't want you doing it i always say this is just one of those times we don't do this other time because we had that problem yeah totally had that problem still have that problem of course um yeah we stopped a lot for potty stopped a lot for nursing how to charge our car yeah so many things and then we get there though finally get there and it was great actually i like look back on it because we're driving to our car and we're like oh my god we're driving to our car and we're in l.a again like literally a couple weeks oh wow um and so i was with the whole fam so i was like okay this we might end up buying flights after this road trip but um no i was like this was fine it was really sweet and the big boys actually did amazing obviously he did amazing but he just has different needs right and so we get there though and then the boys have to turn around our husbands yeah and go right to the concert they leave immediately pretty much because it was a two-hour drive from where we were staying to get to the theater uh-huh it's a good thing we didn't stay around the theater caleb kept saying we should have stayed around the theater because he was like we drove so much and i'm like there's just no way that that would have ever been a good idea we didn't leave we would have been stuck in hollywood i mean that's no that's what i said i was like no this was perfect for us that were at the house i was like it was we would have been scared i know i'm just like i was like we just had two different trips like we were had fun and relaxed and chilled and they were like on the go yeah yeah yeah they still had fun caleb's not complaining but because they did drive a lot yeah he was like it just the drive was long but i was like well that's kind of la i knew that was gonna happen la is driving anywhere you stay i think it would have been long yeah um so then but then abby and i have five kids under five that was probably crazy that i've been in the car all day long and we don't have a vehicle that can take them anywhere right yes um so we're walking yeah with five kids under five you did abby is has no no yeah you have the wagon with the three big boys yeah i'm wearing fisher and pushing vivi and you are just we're just want i mean we have directions but we don't know where they're taking us we're like we're like walking along and we went to like this nice restaurant really nice and you know it's nice because we ordered apple juice for the toddlers and it comes out and it's like forest green abby and i look at each other we're like she no you go is that apple juice he's like yes it's our kale cold pressed apple juice and any sugar in there we were like well we were kind of thinking like one of those honest juice boxes that would be classy enough the fountain you know yeah no none of that and so um they were ten dollars ten dollars a pop which we didn't know that at the end abby goes oh my gosh i see a charge for thirty dollars for apple juice isn't that crazy we were like oh perfect lots of fiber i hope you guys loved that no ice cream tonight well we did we did yeah you did yeah and so then we had the meal there was i think abby you took them on like five bathroom excursions we lived in the bathroom the whole time they just kept going back and forth and every time there was like a little fiasco in the bathroom it was hilarious like one time cj got them all cleaned up i'm washing his hands you know wash really good turn around he just face plants in the bathroom all over the floor and i'm like get back up and we're washing your hands and your arms and so it was like going back and then the other time i took augie in there and he's washing his hands and he rubs his eye just with soap yeah and just starts like crying poor guy because his eyes were burning with soap and i'm like it's okay buddy just like scrubbing his eyes every time there was like a little fiasco in the bathroom and i was like there was something it was so just chaotic that is something i really do think i need to improve on is like my kids restaurant etiquette but i'm like how do i exercise this skill because we just don't really take them to the restaurant that much yeah and then when we're there i'm like how do we start i know maybe i think it starts at home like maybe i start having the expectation that they stay in their seat the entire meal yeah why does that feel so hard we've already started that where brielle like won't eat her food and then we'll chase we'll like put her down and we're like can you please eat this chicken nugget oh my gosh the meal time negotiations will drive you she's way too young to start i know it is so it's always you're like what's gonna be today yeah especially specifically around meal time so yeah we were we were uh it's probably a little bit of a spectacle there i know i did feel a little bad but i was also like everyone there was so pleased to see our kids i feel like that was crossed by yeah like and we were also outside in the back of the room and we were in the corner table like we were not in the middle of like everyone no and they weren't running around there was one table people by us but like the bathrooms were they weren't going by their tables we were literally right by the bathroom i think they thought about that i know i think they did too they're like let's put them in the corner in the back by the potty's we also had a massive mobiles you know we had a massive wagon a massive stroller and we just we needed to take a real date we found out that people in california don't have that many kids no i did order vivian dinner off the dog menu it was literally expensive though it was kind of expensive though it was kind of you know 10 bucks yeah she ate it for three days the price of the apple all of it that is the nice thing is you're like that will last me i know i was looking at the menu i'm like this looks like perfect for a baby and i asked him i said do humans eat this he said yeah it's just unseasoned beef and rice and veggies i said i'll take that for the baby i'll take the i'll take the dog bowl i'll take the dog bowl please beef and rice it was delicious she ate it up honestly my food was incredible amazing i didn't taste it till the last bite but i was like when i got that last bite yeah i didn't taste i was like you gotta just get this down i know and then i was like oh it's delicious it was so good best shrimp tacos i've had yeah i had a really good salad it was it was malibu farms did we say that oh no malibu farms they're in malibu too yeah maybe someone else and newport apparently that's funny because whenever i went with you guys on your six-week trip with augie we went to malibu and we went to malibu i love that place it was so good it was really good well i've been there actually a lot of times yeah i think about it i really like it yeah um next day we the boys are back or the boys as our husbands the boys are back all day which is fun yeah and so we just kind of what do we do in the morning we chilled and we walked to vacancy coffee yeah and got some mid coffee that was like handsome brunch newport just does not have very good coffee abby was mad about the coffee in newport i don't think i had one cup that i was like yeah right at home about yeah i want a coffee shop forget what are you getting well i never get too many sweet ones yeah which i never get i normally just order a cappuccino but i i thought it's a good idea to get a cappuccino i think it's a good idea i think it's a good idea to get a cappuccino i think it's a good idea to get a cappuccino i think it's a good idea to get a cappuccino vacation let's try the pumpkin spice latte let's try the fun ones and i didn't like any of them but the one place like the beans were really bitter kind of tasted burnt the i don't know the one place forgot to put coffee in there it was just water and milk it was crazy water yeah we went got coffee walked around got a really good breakfast and we went to the beach went to the beach with the kids it was really sweet wait can i say i think the beaches in newport are amazing and i thought they were maybe better than san diego they're really clean really clean big sandy beach yeah like i feel like in san diego it was a little more rocky at least where we stayed and we went in la jolla and i feel like it was more of a cliff face you know you're going down yeah yeah stuff this was a smooth beach super easy to access so clean not super packed no not at all the waves were fun the water was comfortable i was like the perfect easy to get to well now i think about if you were driving we were able to walk which was really nice but they have all the neighborhoods there you can find parking i don't know i just thought like it was like a little bit of a different kind of like a little bit of a different kind of it was great it was great it was a great time the kids had a lot of fun thank you to freestyle for sponsoring this portion of today's episode i have used their diapers off and on for the last four years their diapers are an amazing fit fit wide around the butt 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That brings your first three months down to just $49 a month. Again, that's freestyle.world slash always here. Code always here. We got cleaned up and went to Balboa. We were just kind of figuring it out as we went. And then we went there and took the little ferry to Balboa Island, which was really like, I didn't know what to expect there. You always hear about it, but I was like, what is this? We just went on a long walk. I didn't realize it was mostly just a neighborhood. Yeah. I didn't know that, but it was gorgeous. Yeah. All the homes were so pretty to look at. So fun to walk around. So cute. Like little marina cottages. Uh-huh. And then got some Italian food. We did. We met a sweet girl named Piper. Oh yeah. That was crazy. Where you should tell her story. Yeah. She came up to us and she was really like, she was so sweet and so smiley. And she was telling us that she's with her boyfriend and they had seen a podcaster walk past like 30 minutes before us. And he was like, you should say hi. She said, no, no, it's fine. I don't really want to bother him. And then he asked her, what if you saw the Abbeys walk by? Would you stop them? And literally 30 minutes later, we walk by. They had no idea we were there. I know. She was like, this is so crazy. And she came over, she talked to us. She was so sweet. So sweet. She had those gorgeous curls. Yes. Yeah. That was so, that was just random. I was like, wow, that's so funny that he, and also so sweet that it was her fiance. I don't remember. Her boyfriend. I don't remember. Yeah. Like knew her enough to know like her favorite podcast to listen to. That's so cute. And it's also just such an honor that she listens to our podcast, but that was really sweet to me. Piper. Yeah. Got some dinner in this cute little Italian restaurant and also just tried to corral our children. They did pretty good there. They did really good there. Yeah. We separated CJ and the boys. We had them on separate sides of the table. Everyone was separated by an adult. And I think that actually, you're right. That was the hack. Because together. They're wrestling in the booth. I will say our Airbnb had a playroom and that was kind of also a hack. Abby, that was a great flight. That was nice. We had a great spot. That's how it's like advertised. It's like a playroom. It was such a good. Airbnb. Airbnb. Yeah. Came with toys and stuff, which was really sweet. And then the next day, oh, the dads took the big boys to Mario Land, which is what we keep calling it. Yeah. Universal Studios. Hollywood. And they have like a Nintendo Land. Uh-huh. And they had the time of their life. Addie was so sad. Augie and CJ are literally the same height. Yeah. But for some reason, CJ kept getting denied on the ride. His shoes just weren't quite as thick. You had to just switch shoes. I think they tried. Didn't they? Or maybe they offered and they didn't, the boys didn't really want to. He's like, I don't want to give up my shoes. Yeah. I don't know what happened. Maybe CJ didn't want to. He's kind of picky about his like shoes and stuff. But I think they, or maybe Matt, I thought said, oh yeah, we thought about that. But. No, I was like, I was trying to tell, I don't know if they tried it or not, but I think they tried to get crafty with it and it just wasn't working. It wasn't working. And dang it. I don't know why that's one of those things that just like really, like, I bet if you were to tell Blake that, let's just summon that. I'm like, that's not right. I'm going to lose sleep over this. That's just so sad for him. But I will say Augie hasn't stopped talking about going on rides with Uncle. Sweet. He had so much fun riding with Augie. When I asked him about the trip yesterday, they just were raving about Universal Transformers. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, Augie liked Transformers way more than Mario. Yeah. They had a fun time. So fun. And then we just got to, we literally just walked around. We walked a lot. Oh, with just the babies? With had some more coffee so many coffee we actually was really funny we went in the shop and i feel like i'm pretty oblivious when it comes to like my surroundings sometimes and um funny the there was a couple cashiers that were talking about us right in front of us you never notice they were definitely we were at the counter and they were like i think she's that youtuber and i'm like didn't hear literally from like i mean we're closer than what we are right now but when she goes yeah oh sorry yeah no i literally looked up and then at that exact moment she's looking straight at me has her phone with the guy next to her yeah that's her but they never said anything and i was like was i making that up i was like no that happened she's like there's a whole conversation i heard a whole lot of conversation about that that was like the one time we were at chick-fil-a in utah and there was a whole group of girls that were waiting for us to get through the line abby had no clue i'm like there's a whole table like 15 no like standing there 15 girls i'm like nothing will make matt howard sweat and stress more i like like they're gonna want to i'm like i'm gonna have to take this i'm gonna have to take this call he like is so like appreciative but if it's just like that age of girls that just makes him he's like i'm so excited to meet them and like thankful but then i'm like really panicked because they're like 14 year old girls oh and he's like i don't want to be creepy like i'm very careful i know and so like this literally just happened to us when we went on a date night we like walked in this place and immediately opened the door and it's all these girls celebrating this girl's birthday and they're all like 14 yeah which is matt's prime age of being afraid of them and he literally was like weird for the rest of the date and i was like matt it's okay you want to leave you weren't creepy it's fine he's like so panicked anyway we had a great rest of the day rest of the trip then next day just got some more food walked around with the kids we met a sweet girl addy and those and her friends they were listeners which was sweet yeah we just had so many fun conversations with people out and about i thought we just talked to so many people that listen to this podcast yes how cool is that we yapped the whole time we me and you just talked the whole time we pranked her husbands i don't know if it's considered a prank but we just did like what was that and i was like you're not gotcha okay hey you said prank in that video i thought you said break watch it break our husbands and i was like what do they mean by that we wrestled them i'm so curious what if we start this trip we just ask our husbands to wrestle that's a funny that's a funny thing i just realized is that like i see you guys every day we talk all the time but i'm like still i'm curious what's going on in your life i was like you posted on instagram story what happened what was that about what was the prank that you think that has it was successful the next morning we had another we just walked around got the wiggles out before the long drive home had a good lunch i regret not leaving a little earlier for us because we got back at 9 30 yeah it's kind of late and i was kind of like getting panicky when it's getting dark i was like yeah well we still have a long two hours yeah we got back around seven perfect it was dinner time we had dinner and went to bed yeah i mean when you're nursing and you have a long drive like that it's hard it was the nursing yeah and it takes 30 plus minutes to nurse so every time i know so just you know you have to factor that in i was so impressed when we left on thursday and i was like at 10 a.m do you think they left yet like i don't know what their eta is and you said we left two hours ago i was like they're so impressive yes i was i will say i was at the gym and i was like okay i know they're both leaving this morning i checked your guys's location i was like abby's left so i was curious why you hadn't left but then i was like it's not gonna take as long it's not gonna take nearly as long he's like watching his race on the road probably checked multiple times just to see where you guys were yeah yeah how far behind each other you guys you're like are they care they made it sweet yeah my mom asked she's like are caleb and abby following you and i was like why would they need to do that oh because my mom probably told him my car was gonna break down is that why i don't know my mom could be like you guys gonna follow each other because your car is just not safe and i was like mom don't talk about her like that don't talk about her car like that that was on my list of most what is it the items we got the most views out of bang for your buck yes they bought me that car 15 years ago they can't slander her now they can't slander her now okay don't you just don't don't do that like please get rid of that thing no literally my mom's like i'll pay for your rental car i was like you're not manipulating me my car is perfect i would say okay yeah thank you i know i just big stubborn because my mom you know you know when moms and daughters are like no she's like take it i'm like no my car's fine you're like there's too much lore i know there's so much lore so anyway so much lore that's probably why because she probably was like abby's still unsafe in that car she told john and theresa she told my dad i think she told you we were saying i already knew the lore so i was like i'm always gonna agree like i'll keep the peace it's honestly just just for the hierarchy i'm like i will take your car i'm gonna keep the peace i'm gonna keep the peace i'm gonna keep the peace i'm gonna take your mom's side just no no out of respect for loyalty i will respect your mother first oh well it's okay i love her she's just she was wrong about my car you made it we spent a lot of time together yeah are you sick of me no okay good are you sick of me i always get i don't ever get sick of people so that's what i that's what i'm like okay well at my age is like a little off no i always i'm always scared i'm overstaying my welcome oh yeah you are i always i'm always like when you say like social battery though like were you like okay i've talked too much today no i never felt that okay because i kind of feel like with family i feel like this is my family too i don't really get drained being around i agree yeah i feel like it's more filling than it is draining so i don't feel that way about around you guys um or my sisters or kayla thank you to branch basics for sponsoring this portion of today's episode there was something in me that completely switched when i became a mom i just want to protect their body and their skin and their health so much and a lot of people are like i don't want to be a mom i don't want to be a mom and very easy swap was my cleaning supplies i have used branch basics for well over three years 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We've also used Branch Basics for years and I think it's really cool how it works. You basically have a refillable bottle that you put in the same concentrate in, but just in different ratios for whatever surface you're cleaning. That just makes it super simple. One product that can work for your entire house. It is genius. You know why? Because three women who experienced firsthand how much the products in their homes affected their health. They wanted to make cleaning products that were truly human safe. So they created a line of plant and mineral based solutions to tackle every job in the house without harsh chemicals. Branch Basics is available at Target, Target.com, Amazon, BranchBasics.com, and for the Home Essentials Kit, you'll get 15% off at BranchBasics.com with code ALWAYSHERE. That's code ALWAYSHERE for 15% off the Home Essentials Kit at BranchBasics.com. And after you purchase, when they ask where you heard about them, please make sure to mention our show. We're talking about travel compatibility. We obviously want a trip. You guys are planning a trip. And that's, I think there is some skill to it. And you have a lot of experience with this. So traveling with friends, planning trips with other people. Yeah, we actually do. Yeah. There's criteria that we think would be helpful knowledge if you're maybe wanting to plan a friend's trip for the first time or you're considering it. And maybe what would be, make for a good gel. Yeah. Yeah. The first time I ever thought about this is when we were like invited on like work trips with other people, like a bunch of other people, and you have the same schedule and then you have free time and like how everyone chooses to do it. And it's just, that's when you learn really quick. You're like, okay, there's an art to this. There's an art to finding people like, cause it's like, I really believe you can be really good friends with people in regular life, but then not be good travel companions. Totally. Or maybe it can be really good travel companions, but then like outside of traveling, maybe you're probably going to, you're more likely to be really good friends, but maybe it's like, those are your top experience friends and then not your daily life friends. Totally. I would agree. Totally. I think it's true. Everyone does travel differently. So we actually pulled, you guys and asked a few questions on Instagram. The first one we asked was what's your travel style. We put, leave me to relax and lounge. Let's stay busy with activities. And then the third option was no plan. Just let me wander and explore. So the first option, this got 36% of your guys vote said, leave me to relax and lounge. 34% of you said that you like to stay busy with activities. And then 30% of you said you want no plan. You just want to wander and explore, which I actually kind of feel like I'm an in-between of that. I don't know. I don't know. I like half the day to be no plan, wander and explore, and maybe a couple of planned things. That's a good way to do it. Yeah. I'm kind of chill actually on travel stuff. I want, and if I'm going to do something, someone else plan it. Really? Your travel Addy is very different from other Addy. Yeah. But if you tell me the plan, I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there on time. We're going to get that happening, but I don't really want to plan it. That's why I like traveling with you. I feel like you, you plan what we're going to do. We're family. Like you guys, you're like, we're going to do this, this day and this, and this. I'm like, this is amazing. Yeah. I do feel like I fit more into like, I want to stay busy with activities because I'm like, if I am in a destination, I want to get the most of it. And I want to like do the things that it's known for. And I want to like, I don't want to hang. I'm, I'm way more likely to get really cheap accommodations because I'm like, we're barely going to be there. Right. Like that's just our launch pad. We're going to go out and do everything. Um, so yeah, I would say a combination two, but I'm definitely probably lean more to like, let's stay busy with activities. Yeah. I like it. I'm like, let's get out the door. But when we get out the door, let's just make sure at some point we're going to the beach today. But if we go wander and have food here and do that there, I don't care. Yeah. But the goal of the day is to do this thing. Yeah. That's kind of like, or like, we'll go to Balboa Island today, but when we get there, who knows what we'll do? Yes. That's kind of how I, I will say sometimes I'm heavily leave me to relax and lounge. And that's for me, that's the difference between a vacation and a trip. Yes. Big difference. I don't take vacations with my kids because I want to literally not move and just read my Kindle and sip fun drinks and literally just lay by the pool. I want to maybe get a massage. That'll be my big plan for the day. I get a massage and I eat a huge dinner. Like that's when we've gone for like two or three days on our anniversary. And wow, I love that type. And I'm like, don't schedule anything. Don't plan anything. But if we do something like right on the beach is so fun. Yeah. But the whole goal of that is like not plan. That's a good differentiation. Yeah. Not, I don't take vacations with my kids. That would never work. Vacations are also shorter. Got to keep them short. Cause I'm like, I couldn't do that for a week. I would go, I would, I would turn into Play-Doh. Like I would literally just be like, but a trip. Yeah. We're going to jam pack it. And also I feel like, I also think I've turned into that more so since having kids, because I kind of got to go to their like, they will destroy wherever we're staying if we don't get out. Yeah. You got to get out the door. We got to get out the door. Do you feel like a cruise is a trip or a vacation? Wow. What a combo. It's if you have, it's about fan, if you have people with you or not. So it was a vacation for us because I had my parents who watched Brielle part of the time. Yeah. So that's the difference. Like we would, my dad would go to bed at 9 PM and he would be with Brielle while she's sleeping. And so Blake and I then had the evening to go and do whatever we wanted. And then, and during her nap time, like my mom would stay in the room so we could have two hours of pool time by ourselves. So if you have family, yeah. If you don't have family, it is a trip. It's more, you don't get it. You don't get alone time. So I feel like that is kind of the more activity. Yeah. More activities. Okay. That makes sense. I also just know on boats, I feel like they have a lot of activities. Oh yeah. So you're probably like going a lot. Well, it just depends on what you want to do. But I like to sit by the pool, but like my dad and my brother, they do trivia all day. Float to trivia, to trivia, to trivia, to trivia. Cute. And there's different like paid experiences you can do. Fun. Do you, the next question we had was, do you actually enjoy traveling with friends? And 88% of you said yes. 12% said no. I love traveling with friends. Yeah. I also love traveling with family. I just love being around people. Same. Yeah. I mean, if I were to choose a vacation with just Caleb, I would always pick that first. Yeah. But yeah, most of the time when you're planning something, it's because people are like, it's not really an option. Yeah. That feels like a bigger thing to do, but like a trip with friends and family feels like more casual and a little easier to accomplish. So it's like, heck yeah, we're going to do that. That's so fun. Yeah. Cause it's like more like the kids are coming with us for sure. But if, if it is something like that means we've really worked in advance to make this happen where it's like, we are kid free totally. And that feels crazy. Yeah. That takes a lot to, that takes a lot, but it's very special when it happens. I've done one like friend vacation with like a lot of our, our couple friends and they're like, well, we're going to do this. We're going to do this. And we're going to do this. And we're in the season of we can't, we can't do it every year right now because someone's pregnant and having a kid and then it's all messed up. So it's been a little broken off, but we're like, try and make it happen. Yeah. I feel like traveling with friends is a major friend milestone. It's like now you've kind of crossed into the friends that are also kind of family territory and it feels really like bonding. It's like, here we go. Like this could make or break us. Agreed. It's a little risky for sure. It's like, it's kind of like with a boyfriend or girlfriend when you travel, if you travel together, like, can we spend all this uninterrupted time together? What's going to happen? Are all the spouses going to be okay? Am I going to like vacation version of you? Because there's different versions of us for sure. Um, the final question we ask you guys, by the way, this is on their always here podcast, Instagram. For those of you that follow us there, thank you so much. It's fun to have your engagement on our episodes. It says, have you traveled with friends that have kids? Cause the kid element also changes. It makes it more, it narrows your pool quite a bit. Sure. Surely it does. And yeah, it's a, it's a big, it's probably the biggest consideration. It's the biggest concern. How does that mesh? How is that going to work? And so 32% 68% said no. Yeah. I could see people feeling a little bit more hesitant to do that with kids. It's a logistical difficulty. Yeah. Especially if you have little kids with naps and things, you're just, your schedules are so all over the place. Yeah. Which yeah, I feel like we, we came up with five tips or things that we've thought about. I'm going to pull up my phone. Do you think, I don't know that this is my number one of like importance. Okay. Just number one on this list. Should we switch it then? Then should number one importance should probably be schedules. I feel like maybe we don't do it by importance. Okay. It's not by importance. Okay. These are all important. They're all greatly important. Number one, I said parenting styles. Cause if you're traveling with kids, like, okay, I think about this example that happened to us in Newport, for example, just cause like, it's not that you have to parent. And we talked to our kids about this. Like that's allowed in their house. It's not allowed in our house. And I think that that can, that works a lot of the time, but in general it's easier. And it's kind of important that you have the similar parenting styles and like mostly like expectations for your children. So like one of our kids came up and asked us if they could have candy and it was like maybe 9am and they got the candy. And then I felt so bad because CJ was denied candy. And I was like, I shouldn't have said yes. And I don't know that I normally would have at 9am, but I was like, oh, it's vacation. But then I was like, oh, that complicated. I felt bad. Oh, I didn't feel bad. I felt bad about that one. Oh, he was okay. I feel like, I think that's okay too. It's like your kids, I don't know. He was okay with not getting whatever. But it just would have been easier if I would have just, you know, we had similar expectations around that and it wasn't a big deal. But like, think about like just your typical parenting things that are always like an issue at this age. Like I think food and screens. And it's like, if it's, if you're, are really not aligned in that area it's really hard to just stay in the same house together for sure i think you're like constantly fighting with your kids about like totally i'm sorry like i know that looks so fun right now but we don't do that or then you're forced to compromise and then you have to re-establish your expectations when you get back home right and that's just a little confusing and hard for the kids totally yeah i would agree i think having kids in similar life stage too like they have to be the same age yeah otherwise it'd be so weird it would be really wonky to try to make any kind of plans yeah totally so i feel like that i agree with that's a really big one the second one um that you had on there was schedules were you thinking specifically like nap times and wake up times bed times because if one family is waking up really early and they're like ready to go and the other family wants to sleep in and not do things that would be really frustrating as the people that are up and at them and like ready to go so i would think specifically around sleep and downtime and naps you want that to be kind of error you guys are on the similar page so that you're not waiting around a ton for the other people you could totally miss each other all day then no one actually gets to do anything yeah or you probably just have to establish like hey we're just gonna do our own things during the day and we'll hang out at night yeah that could also really work yeah but that would have to be a really clear expectation yeah going into it yeah yeah that's a good point um another one we said was energy levels yeah because maybe some people and this could also just come down to preference and not necessarily energy levels but like if you are going maybe you just need to have the trip versus vacation talk yes beforehand yeah like are we gonna jam pack this thing out are we gonna keep the kids out to i guess that has to do with schedules too yeah but also energy because it takes a lot it's a lot of work to do that we did keep our kids up pretty late at night and um we were aligned there so it worked out but if you're like oh i want to do a bunch of things all day long and the other people are like i just want to sit by the pool yeah yeah you gotta you gotta hash that out yep you do ahead of time or maybe just find another travel buddy yes yeah the expectations because that will be that will cause bitterness yeah because you're like i spent this money and i'm not even traveling the way i want to travel right you don't want to do that no no you don't want to do that or you like got time off and it's like this isn't how i want to spend my break right for sure so i think going off of that the fourth one would be having similar interests and hobbies you want to enjoy the sun and i think be on a similar level of that like you're not going to say oh we both like to hike but one wants to do easy trails and one wants to hike 10 miles that's not going to work you know or yeah we both love going to the mountains when we go to the mountains we do totally different things like one likes to look at them and one likes to be up in them i just i feel like you're similar your interests your hobbies need to be very aligned yeah on a trip for sure i want to shop i don't want to shop i want to drink a lot of coffee i don't you know because then you're always comp you always compromising on something yeah and then that could be a bummer so you want to kind of make sure that those are aligned yes and our final one you had said understanding of each other's budget very important yeah doesn't have to be the same but comfortable saying yes or no and okay with doing different things yeah that is really true yeah that one should have been probably number one when you really think about it well i think because we've gone on plenty of trips where we've had different budgets and i feel like we've never had an issue with it because there's always an understanding of like well hey when people go to the same place but you guys might do something different than us and that's fine and great like you know or i think about tahoe yeah exactly because we went to the you guys did the gondola and we went around to the shops instead yeah but we like we're still together and doing stuff yeah and i just feel like that's important to have an understanding of that and be comfortable talking about that with the people that you're with also because you're picking restaurants like do you want to go out to eat or do you want to stay home and cook versus you know a mixture what type of restaurants do you want to go to because those things also are personal and affect your trip a lot and i think you all have to be understanding of what the other people need yeah and it could be easy to be swept away and then be like wow i just spent way more money than i ever intended on spending on this trip and it could be easier it could be so easy to have this conversation it feels tricky but like we did it on the when we went to florida with our friends we went with two other families and we just established at the beginning we're like we're literally just going to eat at home and go to the beach and have the kids watch a movie every night at home and so we kind of did touch all those bases like not explicitly thinking like okay these are got to touch on budget and act interest and then schedules yeah but and kids ages and everything but um we like so i went into it knowing i'm like i'm not gonna know what the restaurant scene is like here probably i might know what the corner ice cream shop is and actually it is so good um but other than that like i was like we're just gonna go to the beach and go back home and then like one of our friends had a preference for something that was like a little bit more expensive and they were like i'm just gonna get it like i'm just gonna cover it because it's actually important really important to us and then everyone else enjoyed it because of that and so i think to the point for all of this is like pre-planning to some degree or like a pre-conversation really important yeah totally really important because you don't want to walk away from a trip and feel bitter towards your friends or feel like you want to get away from them or that that was like not worth your time yes because that could happen i feel like the friends you're gonna travel with are the friends that you can have these conversations with totally i think that's the other thing of like these shouldn't be like weird conversations to be having with those people or establishing that's a really good point because it's like if you can't have that conversation don't travel with them yeah like if it's gonna be if you're nervous to talk about like do you think they're gonna be okay if we just make breakfast at home instead of going then they're the people that you should be traveling with that's such a good point eddie because i'm just thinking about like all those things that you guys talked about i'm like yeah i have had those conversations with the friends i've traveled with i never thought about it or was nervous to talk about it and we were all just like same understanding that we're gonna get groceries we'll go out maybe once or twice to eat and then like wait we just went to flagstaff with some friends they flew out to us so we're like we'll pay for the gas like we'll take our car we'll pay for gas you know we didn't fly anywhere and then we uh the last day we were like do we want to go up on the mountain and pay for this little thing or do we want to drive back home and go to the pool for free and we're like let's just go home and we all just went home so like talking about those things is good yeah that's true even on the trip like mid-trip checking in i feel like i kind of asked you because you were planning a lot of our newport trip along it i said do you want to do you like planning all these things or because i was kind of just sitting back and enjoying i know she was like honestly i don't i if you plan something i think it'd be great and i was like okay perfect i'll look up some options and so having that check-in too to make sure that you're all on the same you're all enjoying it yes i think that makes oh i don't mind it i've kind of just like assumed that role and sometimes i feel bossy like by doing it and i don't really like being bossy i really don't like researching even when we went to new york and i was like you guys were like i want to do these things i'm like perfect give me a bagel oh yeah you kind of took the lead in new york i will say i did i did some things i wanted to try i love that yeah i don't want to research i don't care take me somewhere yeah it was great it really depends on the trip like i knew nothing about newport and so i felt and you had been there a couple times so i was kind of like she probably knows the area a little bit more you would have thought i kind of forgot everything it seemed cute you guys were walking distance to the beach that's awesome yeah it was really yeah abby found a great it was a great location everything was walkable i knew we needed to be a little bit walkable because i was like we have five kids that's an important thing to know too yeah i was in the thing where we've like pinched pennies with like accommodations i'm like it just matters about the location yeah and that's we've learned our lesson the hard way like i remember we traveled with devon and hunter we talked about this a lot and we're like we're gonna get the cheapest airbnb we were in the middle of nowhere and we each had a baby and so there's long car rides where it was just not working no there's a time and a place in your life to do that and it's not when you have children you so you grow out of it yeah you're like you know what we'll pay the extra money for the convenience yeah i mean it's not unusual to have not no ac we actually didn't have ac in newport no but um i said no ac so we had to have windows open all the time and the lizards are just coming in because we're in the middle of nowhere and i was like they eat the bugs yeah like it's fine it's just part of the experience that's that is i'll catch them but i was very surprised when you said that you caught a crab i caught a crab in florida yeah i just assumed they always pinch you they did pinch me that's how i knew to grab it oh my gosh pinch my toe it didn't hurt no you know i've never spent that much time around them so they feel very i love a little critter they're very mysterious to me was there oh we're gonna talk about on patreon other things that surprised us about traveling with each other things we learned which obviously this wasn't our first trip but no this ain't our first rodeo thank you to neutrophil for sponsoring this portion of today's episode admittedly i am very hard on my hair that's the next phase of adult for me 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It helps reduce breakage and split ends while delivering up to 72 hours of frizz reduction for smoother, more manageable hair. Plus, the strand serum provides heat protection up to 450 degrees, defending your hair against the heat and styling stress that can contribute to breakage. With Nutrafol strand serum, your length goals are officially in reach. Discover strand serum today at Nutrafol.com, spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com. That's Nutrafol.com. Ask, ask, ask, Abby! Hi, Abbies. My name is Jane. I'm from Oklahoma, and I especially loved your episode with Val and Caitlin. I had a follow-up question for the piece of advice they gave about finding a mentor. How do you pick a mentor, and once you've picked one, how do you approach them about being your mentor? Also, what all do you talk to your mentors about? Thank you. I love the podcast. That's a really good question. How have you gone in the past about finding mentors? Would you say you've had mentors? Yeah, in college, I really did. And they mostly helped Matt and I walk through, like, season of engagement. Because then we moved to Hawaii, and I feel like it was, like, we were kind of all over the place. And I feel like ours was kind of easy because they kind of approached us. Like, they were like, we see ourselves in, like, in you at that age. And so they were really kind enough to, like, kind of approach us about that. So that was kind of an easier way. Yeah. To, like. To, like, go about it. And I feel like it was one of those things where it's, like, we kind of hung out a lot. Like, I hung out with the wife, and he, like, hung out with her husband. Like, they would work out and stuff. And it's just, like, we, like, built that relationship. And then it kind of, like, eased itself into, like, more of, like, oh, let's get coffee. Oh, let's, like. Where I just felt like I could be vulnerable. Because I feel like that could have been hard at first to just, like, talk about. I mean, mostly it was, like, I would talk about it. I would talk about things I was struggling with with her. And she would help me walk through them until it was, like, more of, like, okay, we're going to call it this, like, type of thing. Like, this is what's happening. And then we were really intentional about weekly meeting after that. Yeah. I think that's a great way to go about it. I think in the past I've just found women that I really respect, whether it's in their faith or their job or their marriage. And I've just approached them, like, hey, I'd love to grab coffee and just learn from you and ask you some questions. So if there's a day that you have, like, an hour. I'd love to meet. And I could be really flexible with you about your time. I think that's really key is being really available to them and asking, you know, just being flexible to their schedule. And then I would say you need to go with, like, questions prepared. So whatever it's in, you know, ask them their story. Ask them how they got to where they are in their job, in their faith, in their marriage, whatever it is. And just then just having curiosity. Like, you're not really going to talk. You're going to listen and learn. And then as you continue to hang out. And I'm sure they'll ask you questions as well. But as you continue to hang out, then I would be like, hey, I'd love to continue this in, like, a more intentional and formal way. If you'd be interested or if you have the capacity for that, I'd love to see what your thoughts would be on that. And just kind of going from there based on what they say. That's really practical good advice. Yeah. Maybe even asking, like, hey, I'd love to go through a book or something. You know, just I feel like, you know. But I think, yeah, meeting for a while and kind of feeling it out and then seeing from there. Yeah. Yeah. I was discipled in, like, a smaller group by someone. And then that group, like, ended. It was, like, only for a year. And then I had different groups like that for, like, two more years. And then after that, I went back to her, the first person. And I asked if she had capacity to mentor me. Because we'd already been in a season together. Because I was like, I missed your wisdom in my life and being able to go back and do that. But I agree. I'm like, we just came to a new place. We came to a new church here. And, like, we were meeting new people. And I just was watching how people were interacting with me, interacting with others. And then having those conversations. Like, hey, I would love to get to know you more. And then get to know them, have coffee with them. Yeah. And then figure it out if you mesh from there. Yeah, totally. Hi, my name is Presley. I am from Missouri. And I was just wondering, what's the hardest part of being a mom that nobody warned you about? Thank you. Love the show. Oh, really silly. The silly one came to mind that I always think about. And this one's silly, so I'll do a serious one after this. But you have way less time to read books. Like, I don't even know how to fit that in my schedule anymore. I was going to say, just, like, not having privacy in the bathroom. No one talks about that. I nursed a walkway bathroom. I know. That's like, you just. And I just felt so bad. I was like. Oh, you're like, this is so unsanitary. But you got to do what you got to do. What are you supposed to do? I sat real on the counter today. I said, you look at yourself and dirty up our counter. Do whatever you need to do. I need to go to the bathroom. I don't want you standing at my knees while I'm. Maybe that's the overarching theme. No alone time. Yeah. I think that's probably it. That probably is the hardest time. Yeah. Your time is not your own anymore. Right. You're on borrowed time. Even if you get, like, a little bit of time yourself, you're going to feel guilty about it, actually. People do warn you about that, but, like, you don't understand it until you're, like, in it. And you're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the hardest adjustment for me. Yeah. Like, I just kind of felt panicked at the thought of, like, I'm not going to be able to do what I want to do when I want to do it. Or if I. Even need to do it. Right. Like, what if I want to do. What if I need to do something. I know. And I have to figure out. You adjust. Yeah. But. It's. It is hard when you have littles. I always remind myself because I. I feel like that's a thing on the internet that people get really negative about. And I'm like, hey, Abby, someday in, like, five years, my child is not even going to want to spend time with me. Yeah. Or, like, seven years. So, in this little phase, it's so short in the meantime, but it is hard. And I feel like, yeah, there's no way to prepare for it. Mm-hmm. I remember right before we had CJ. So, we. Caleb and I went to Walmart. We would go all the time to get ice cream. At, like, 10 o'clock at night. Nine o'clock at night. I'm like, hey, we can't just go to Walmart together. Just us two anymore and peruse the aisles and pick out snacks. Like, we're going to have a little baby. Mm-hmm. You know? Mm-hmm. I remember that kind of freaking me out. And I had a little panic moment. Yeah. But then when you go. After you've gotten used to it. And then you go and you have, like, a little time to yourself. I remember when we were in Florida with our friends. We went to the gas station after the kids went to bed because the dads were at home. Mm-hmm. And we were like, this is crazy. Yeah, you just don't take it for granted. Yeah, we were gone for 20 minutes. Uh-huh. And it just felt wild. It was dark outside. We were just in a gas station looking for snacks. Mm-hmm. I had a very, very similar experience. We went to dinner with my parents one night. And then Brielle was going home with my parents to spend the night at their house. And Blake and I went to the gas station. There's a really unique gas station here that has a really big cooler freezer of lots of beer and wine. And so we just perused it. And I was like, this is weird that we're just walking around in this gas station for 20 minutes. Something's wrong. Where's my child? No, I'm like, this doesn't feel right. Yeah. I feel like in the moment, I'm not always thinking, oh, I just wish I could be alone. I mean, there's some times where I have those moments where I just need, like, 10 minutes, you know. But for the most part, I'm not thinking, oh, I just wish I had alone time. No, you get used to it. But in the moments where you do get frustrated, you know, it is like, oh, my gosh. It's all over. All I need is just five minutes. Just five minutes. I think it specifically hits me when I'm trying to get ready for the day and I'm running late. Yes. Yes. But that's my fault. Yeah. No. I can play my time better. No. That is hard. One thing no one warned me about, I don't know. I probably was warned of this, but just, like, how bad the screaming in the car feels. Like, when there's just, like, a screaming baby in the car. That gets better. That gets better. It does get better after. I mean, it was really bad when she was younger. It was really bad when she was in her 20s, like, when she was in her 20s. I played music and she calms down now. Nothing calms Fisher down right now. And it's, I remember the panic that used to cause me. Like, and I'm like, I was kind of even embarrassed in it. I was like, I literally feel like I am in danger and my child is in danger. And then now I'm like, he's as safe as he can be in his car seat. Everything is fine. Like, it's weird. That used to really. You're really knowing they're hungry and you're like, you can't. We, I have to stop. I'm seven minutes away from home, but I guess I have to stop right now. Yeah. Pull over the car. Hi, Abby, Abby and Addie. My name's Hannah. I'm from Canada. I have a three-year-old and a seven-month-old. And I just wanted to know your best tip on how to deal with the holidays when you have kids on two different nap schedules. Because I'm already stressed and it's almost October. Thanks so much. And I love you guys' podcast. Bye. Bye. Hmm. How you do holidays with kids with two different nap schedules? Maybe like traveling. You just got to make one suck it off. I don't know. I don't mean it in that way. I'm like, but there's going to be one kid that's just going to have to bend. Yeah. And I think in my head, I'm like, I'm okay with that for one day or two days. And if they have like a hard day the next day or a hard time adjusting, I'm like, it was worth it in my head. Have so much grace. Yeah. Yeah. And they're not going to get in trouble for. I'm having big emotions when I'm keeping them out of their nap routine and eating crazy foods and all that. But also remembering that it's just for fun and like, it's just the season. We'll get back on schedule later. Yeah. I agree. I mean, I feel like our second, we talk about this a lot. He had to go down to one nap really early, like maybe nine months. He was doing nine. He was doing one nap and he adjusted. He was sleepy for a little bit and we had grace for that. We're like, well, he's tired. - Tired. - Yeah. - You're supposed to be having two naps. But you adjust. like you did really good about that too in tahoe i was like vivian was pretty young and she was just out and about from the morning to 2 p.m 3 p.m i was like she and she couldn't fall asleep on the go no and so like some babies can and then that makes it a lot easier like oh they'll do a car seat nap and then kind of depends on what your day looks like too because i also remember like over christmas we would just bring a pack and play to the family member's house and get put them down for a nap oh yeah that's the best thing to do yeah if you can just and we would bring the tent the sound machine everything so they could make sure they got a good nap um but that's not always possible depending on your travel plans yeah but um i would say number one move their nap to wherever they can if it's possible and then number two just adjust the schedules yeah what i had to tell myself was one bad day or one off day doesn't wreck their sleep or anything like that like that's normal that's okay that's even like when you do sleep training you learn that too because or nap training because at daycare it's completely different than at home and so the kids know daycare is different than at home a day like that they know they can adjust if you're type a like me i just had to remind myself one day does not throw the whole everything you've done out the window yeah yeah i think that is good advice to bring bring a pack and play anywhere you go if you can and a sound machine yeah we i mean and put him in a closet if you need to you know and have like a little monitor on them or something because we we would even do that we had community group every thursday night for three years the first three years of cj's life and it was late and we would put a pack and play in their their house and he would sleep every week you know and it's just like it's obviously not ideal but that was important to us and you know he would adjust and he'd be fine the next day so you just figure out how to how to make it work i'm sorry it's stressing you out though because that is a hard feeling and it's so easy to feel overwhelmed and anxious and you know it's just like it's just about it but also just your kids recently and you're a good mom and it'll be it'll be great yeah it's also october you still got a whole you got another two months so much could change so much could change that's also what i've learned yeah that's also true is that i can't plan that well yeah that's it for boyfriends yeah did you have any good recipes for always hungry i did i'm gonna ask our friends if i can share this recipe but they made it for us and i'm making it tonight delicious fresh uh tomato and cucumber salad and it has fresh mint in it and like red wine vinegar olive oil and it's just really refreshing and yummy and easy for a weeknight vegetable yeah like so good yum i love the tomato cucumber salad um my recipe what was it i just looked it up and i already forgot what it was hold on a second oh this isn't a recipe this is a seasoning mix this is the best at home taco seasoning i found for pound of ground beef because i kind of i don't always love getting the pre-made packages of taco seasoning because some if it's not the organic ones they have a lot of extra bad stuff in them sometimes like a lot of filler you're telling me the taco bell seasoning mix it's probably not the best i know i know and so i've been trying to find a good at-home taco seasoning mix that i like that's not too spicy it's not flavorless and this one has been really good and it's nailed it every time and it has a tablespoon of corn starch in it which i think makes it extra good and makes it more similar to the packets because they usually have the corn starch in it it makes it thicker and kind of that like that gravy texture we know i'm talking about in the ground beef where it kind of thickens up and if you don't put that in it it doesn't get that anyway i love it i've been using it consistently and it always hits i had no idea there's corn i never have thought my taco seasoning was thick yeah like when you put it in there you see the difference in the meat and it's so flavorful because you add a little bit of water like if you just do the seasoning mix it dries out i don't put water in with my taco seasoning i know so if you put the corn starch in you have to put a little bit of water to you know do it out and then it re-moistens the beef and it kind of thickens it and super good okay i gotta try it yeah if you're using a packet the directions definitely say to put water i know i just don't i did it wrong for so long and i read the packet and i was like well it's worked all this time yeah maybe i've just made incredibly dry taco meat though i also don't want to put water in it like with beef this one's good i'll place i'll share it i've been making it a lot like at least once a week do you like prep it ahead of time no i don't it just takes it takes five seconds to cook but i've been making it with sliced peppers and red onion and i'll saute those and then i'll just do taco bowl so rice a can of black beans rinsed a can of corn rinsed and then whatever toppings canned corn really is so much better yeah i stopped buying it i stopped buying it caleb was like i don't like canned corn because it has all the stuff but so much better than frozen corn just drain it rinse just drain it i know i was like sorry but you're losing the argument now it's so much crispier good i'm done yeah i'm done with the frozen i haven't had canned corn in a long time but that's all i grew up on i know same canned corn canned green beans canned canned green beans out the wazoo my mom used to just boil the canned green beans and we'd eat them like they're like rubber yeah i was like yeah with no seasonings on no no salt pepper nothing my mom bought a can of actually a big old pack of it from sam's club and i was like i'll try cj too yeah i like 12 cans right now that's so funny i mean you know they're kind of good you got a green bean casserole coming up that's what i see in your future yeah midwest classic all right well that sounds delicious hey i love traveling with you you too buddy love you buddy addy let's get one on the books soon on the books baby like at work that's all right it's a real job okay if you guys want to call and leave us a voicemail thank you so much for calling it is so fun hearing from you guys that number is 602-456-9690 and follow us on our instagram so you can do the polls and leave responses for our episodes too because it's just so fun having you guys engage and share it feels like a gift and like we're talking to friends so thank you so much seriously and if you're feeling generous today please also give this podcast a review a heart a like if you're feeling generous please also give this podcast a review a heart a like if you're feeling generous today please also give this podcast a review a heart a like if you're feeling generous today please also give this podcast a review a heart a like if you're made it this far you might as well like you've already given us so much of your time this will literally just take about one more minute and i want to shout out abby great name love it um she left us a review five stars it says my favorite podcast y'all are my favorite podcast i love the girl talk and the opinions that you guys bring to the table i'm always here every friday and i would love more episodes per week keep it up always here every friday is really cute why have i not thought of that before always here every friday that's really cute do you guys thank you so much join our book club for october what are we reading you're the girl in cabin 10 i started it last night oh my gosh i need to buy it okay the girl in cabin 10 that's our october book we do a snippet here and the full thing on patreon check out our patreon and wait let's verify is that the name of it yeah i think you might be sorry the woman in cabin 10 and the women in cabin 10 yeah check that out for october the women in cabin 10 we do a snippet of book club here every on our monthly episodes but we do a full big thing on patreon yeah thanks for sharing that out check that out it's by ruth where that's what i thought i was like am i is it even ruth um by ruth where and then also i just want to say like it was really cool like us being together in a different state and meeting so many of you yeah that was i was like pretty like i was so encouraged so encouraged and humbled and just grateful so um if you see us definitely say hi even if we're just like you know in chaos like me nursing a baby in super play it was in the bathroom with three girls and i was like oh my god i'm so excited to be in the bathroom with three toddlers just please say hi it might have happened i'm just gonna say it might have happened and i really appreciate them still just saying hi so great um or you could just look at your phone right in front of us and that's her for sure like an animal in the zoo that's fine too it's totally i'm not gonna look to be like you can't do this for long and just still get offended i know anyway thanks guys and remember we're always here and we'll see you next time and the doers for old friends and new coca-cola for everyone pick up some coca-cola at a store near you this episode is brought to you by netflix's new series east of eden a bold reimagining of john steinbeck's masterpiece following generations of the trask family through love betrayal and the choices that shape humanity starring mike feist and christopher abbott as the trask brothers and florence pew as kathy the aims the complex anti-heroine determined to build the life she wants no matter the cost watch east of eden now only on netflix