Rhythms of Rest: Moving from Business Overwhelm to Intentional Connection with Paul Partridge

much to everyone's surprise, including my own. I raised my hand. It said, "I'll try that." And that put a charge into our table. I've got to tell you, everyone thought that I was going to be put on fire in front of the ground, especially, you know, since then I have this growth here. Anyway, I am happy to report that it went swimmingly and I did swallow fire and I did live to tell me how it is. Do you ever feel like you're so busy leading your business that you're missing out on the people who matter the most? Today, we are sitting down with Paul Partridge. Paul is a writer, photographer, and family travel expert whose work has been featured in Forbes and The Washington Post. For over 25 years, he's been designing global travel experiences that bring people back together. Today, he's showing us how to step away from the daily grind and reclaim what he calls the "gift of time" together. Before we dive into that, did you know that we have a free community of spirit led leaders just like you? Head over to AuthenticBoysLeadership.com right now to join the conversation and grab all of the exclusive resources from today's guest expert. All right, Paul, welcome to the show. Well, I'm so excited to have you on AuthenticBoysLeadership, Paul. I'm so glad you're here. Do you want to just dive right in and tell us a little bit about why you got into the work that you do? Yeah, so I tend to focus on group travel and I think it's because from my perspective, those are the moments that tend to matter most. So whether it's family reunions or milestone birthdays or anniversaries or trips with the college buddies or whatever, it's just when I have free time, that's really all I think about is how do I get together again with those folks. And I would say it's also what I know best, you know, so for the last 25 years, I've been organizing these kinds of trips for families and friends. So I've seen firsthand what works, what doesn't, and I think the number one thing I realize that it's not about the place or the destination. It's really about having the chance to be together in a way that doesn't happen often enough, you know. And so I'm not just planning trips. I think about it as designing time together in an amazing place, hopefully with some unforgettable experiences thrown in and try to make it feel natural and unforced, right? So it's, I think it's let people think about me as a travel planner or advisor or whatever, but I think it's more about creating the conditions for meaningful time together. I love that so much. And because I've met you and because we've talked before this podcast, and I'm so impressed with your life's work and what you've done and what you're doing now, I'm going to go a little off script. Yeah, okay. I would love for you to tell a little bit about like the story and your journey on how you got here because we were talking before about your background, if you're willing, your background in the advertising arena and how the rat race of it all and where you came to be like, you know, I just want this connection. And I just want to walk forward into something that's very much enjoy. And because our audience's business owners, I think that that journey is so valuable to hear. Would you be willing to talk about that? Yeah, sure. We can talk about it. You know, I was in, I was in the advertising world for a number of years. I worked, I worked on Madison, I haven't even in New York, you know, which is kind of sort of the epicenter or the mega for some, for some folks way of thinking. And you know, I've done a number of things, but you know, it's funny whenever I had downtime, you know, when I wasn't working, it was always, I was always thinking about, what's the next trip we're going on? And I thought, you know, once I, so I had a business that I ended up selling and then I thought, well, what are we going to do next? It was, hey, why don't we do that thing that we always thought about doing when we were working, right? And, you know, I had been doing obviously, our family have been taking these kind of trips for many years. Luckily, we've been very, very blessed. But you know, I started doing it for friends, you know, they were hearing about our trips and saying, hey, can you do it? And I thought, you know, whenever I go somewhere, I think you're like this too. If I go somewhere and I have a fun experience or something that I wasn't expecting or was really a big while, like the first thing I think of is, who else can I share this with? Who else can I show this to? And that was kind of the impetus of a lot of the trips and then we started sending people and they came back with stories that were even better than ours. So that's kind of how it started. I'm trying to, you know, that same kind of connection in wow and wonder moments that I have. I'm trying to just share that with other folks. That's what I really want for people. That's awesome. And so like, you've spent all this time traveling. You've spent, you spent so much time in the rat race and you did so good about getting away to the trips. You know, not everybody does that super well. People will get into the zone and then forget to enjoy life in the midst of all of it. And I know that as you've spent so much time in your life writing, doing photography, doing all of these things that make you who you are, and while you're so uniquely positioned to help people find these connection points, what did you start noticing about the things that people remember when they went on these trips? Yeah, I think the thing that really started to hit for me, Leslie, is that most people plan trips the same way, which is, okay, let's pick a destination, find a hotel, and then just try to build everything around it, catch us, catch can. And at some point, I realized, you know, this approach is backwards. The trips that people remember the most and cherish the most, they don't start with the place, they start with the people, you know, who we're going with. Why are we coming together? What would make this time feel meaningful and special? And, you know, the moments that people talk about years later when they're, you know, sitting around at Thanksgiving, it's not about where they were, per se. It's about what happened, who they were there with, how it felt. And, you know, these days to have a moment where you feel fully present, whether you're with your friends or with your family or with, you know, three generations or whatever. But, you know, that laughing and connecting and discovering something new together, that's what stays with you. You know, and I think, you know, in a very real way, that's what people are looking for when they travel, but it's not really the way travel is marketed. People want to feel connected, they want to feel more present, they want to be happier, you know, in that deeper sense. But there's no planning around that. And if you don't plan for it, you're basically, you know, it's kind of potluck and it might work sometimes and it might not. And, you know, it's so, these times that we have with each other are so few that, you know, why don't we just try to get it right? Right, right. I love that. We, as a people, you know, we are just like craving connection because we're living such a digital world. And as entrepreneurs and leaders in our space, we're relied on a lot. And, you know, it was, I think it was a few weeks ago and it might even have been you I was talking to. I planned myself into a corner and everything worked out in my schedule just so that I missed the, the partnerships that I had for that week. And I, I had them scheduled for the week after and they both had it scheduled the week before. And I was like, how did I miscommunicate this? And so as I looked back and I put everybody into the same week and then all of a sudden I had a free week, I realized I haven't given myself a break. I haven't taken the time to just like step back and breathe and I have a partnership every single week. I have work every single week. And when I work for someone else, my breaks are built in at the school when I was teaching at the high school. You know, you'd have summer off. You have spring break. Your breaks are built in. You can plan around it. But working for yourself, you often can just get into the grind and forget that you need to plan some vacations and plan some time off and plan some time to get grounded and reconnect to who you are and why what the purpose in life is even just we can get mixed up in it. So I think about that and what you do and how we plan trips in order to get out of our scenery, get into a new place and even get to know the people we know best better. So what do you have to say more in that area of connecting with those kind of experiences? Yeah. I travel as the great getaway and I agree I don't know that we all do it enough. But it's kind of how I guess for me, it's how it's being done. You know, it's how the way travel is presented to us. I don't think people are doing anything wrong. I just think they don't know another way. Right. So when you look at travel, you know, how travel is presented to us, it's, you know, what are the types of things that you can do? top destinations. Where's everybody going this year, you know, and what are the best hotels and what are the must-see lists? What's my checklist or whatever, right? So that's kind of, you know, just actual how people plan. And then before you know it, the trip is more about the logistics, where to go, what to see, and how to, you know, cram everything in. We've only got five days here in Paris. How are we going to cram these, you know, 27 things in. And meanwhile, I think, you know, generally in our crazy, busy lives, what we really want is time together. We want to slow down, not speed up. We want to, you know, reconnect and just be around the people that we care about. And, you know, I have this thing, sometimes when we go away, you know, people, we all will take votes on what, you know, everyone wants to do. And sometimes my answer is I want to be bored. Tell me more about wanting to be bored. Yeah, because, you know, I can't remember last time I was bored because, you know, these days, there's just so many things that it's pressing for our attention. Like we never, we never have time to be bored. We never have that downtime. And it gets hyper crazy when we go away because we feel like, oh gosh, you know, this might be my only chance to see Tuscany, right? Or whatever it is. And, you know, we've got to, we've got to cram it all in. And I think to me, that's a recipe for forgetting everything, rather than, you know, if you just have a chance to breathe in, breathe out, and maybe be bored a little, it's kind of sink in with the place, you know, feels like, smells like, tastes like, and kind of stays with you a little bit longer. Yeah. So do you have any, like, exciting stories from some of the trips that you've taken or anything that, like, happened that it was out of the ordinary that just you're still laughing about as a family? Well, I was, you know, there's a couple of them that popped into mind when you said that. But as a family, we were in San Lucia at one time. And at dinner, they had one of these, you know, fire eating people, they would, they would like, you know, they would put like, I don't know, those swords or sticks were around fire and they would, you know, they would eat the fire, you know, I'm sure you've seen it on TV, not in person. Yeah. Well, it was the first time I had seen it in person as well. We were there with my girls and, and some other friends. And, anyway, the, the, the, the, the man who was the, you know, performer, he was amazing. At one point, he said, I'd like to have a volunteer from the audience to try this. And much to everyone's surprise, including my own, I raised my hand. So I'll try that. And that put a charge into our table. I've got to tell you, everyone thought that, that I was going to be put on fire in front of the crowd, especially, you know, since then I have this growth here. Anyway, I'm happy to report that it went swimmingly. And I did, I did swallow fire and I did live to tell me how it is. Oh my goodness. You, you've got to dig into that just a little bit more. You swallowed fire. Did it burn? That was there like what did you know preparation that you had to do? Well, he pulled me aside and gave me like a couple of little pointers, mainly which was don't worry. I've got you covered. And you talked about, you know, like trying to open up your throat a little bit. And actually the sensation, well, you could, you know, you can feel the heat, right? So fire next to your face. That was one sensation that you normally don't, you don't feel every day. So that was one, the thing that I remember from it, other than the look of horror on everybody at table, family and friends, was the taste because you know, he, they dipped the, I forget it was a sort or skewer or whatever it was, you know, they dip it in, I think it's caracene. You know, because that's how they, you know, light it up real quick. And I remember the taste of the caracene. That's kind of what I remember about it before I blacked out. That's amazing. I bet y'all are still talking about that one. Yeah. So that's one for sure. And yeah, I mean, we have a Zillian of them just trying to think of another one rear down in, in the Galapagos. And that was, that was really nice. And when I remember from that was getting to swim with some sea lions. Oh. And you know, that was, yeah, that was, that was pretty incredible. One of them came, I had, you know, the goggles on, you know, and one of them swam right up to my face. And I swear it was like laughing or smiling. And then, and then darted off immediately went over to where my wife was swimming. She was, she was on her stomach because she had a, you know, snorkel. And she was, you know, looking in the water from the top. And that the sea lion jumped right over her as if he was performing in sea world. He just leapt right out of the water right over her. And I just remember everyone on the beach that was watching. They just burst into a floss. And did it scare her? No, because she didn't know what was happening because she was just, you know, she was swimming along. And he just came and jumped over her body. And she was done the wiser. But, you know, I just jumped out of the water and looked at, you know, someone, some of the folks at the beach. And I was thinking, wait, did that just happen? It was, you know, it was just one of those moments. It was just, you know, surprise and pure joy. And, and, you know, your mouth is just hanging open and awe. And, you know, I mean, that's again going back to my first thought was, who can I share this with? You know, who can I bring? Who can I bring here? Or, you know, who can I help plan a trip around this because everybody should have that experience? That's awesome. Yeah. So you have a resource for people who are wanting to get away and reconnect with their family and to make this a gift of travel and to be together as a family, make those deep connections. Can you tell us a little bit about what that's about? Yeah. Yeah. So it's called the gift of time together. And, you know, that's kind of what that's what all our trips are about. And we're trying to help people, you know, spend more time together and do it in an extraordinary place in a beautiful private home. And the guide is just a short little guide. And it's three steps about how to give the gift of time together in a really meaningful way. And, yeah, I'm happy to share with the audience. That's beautiful. Now, tell me a little bit about why you choose to make this connection point in other places other than just having a movie night or a family game night or the difference between like getting away together and just spending some quality time right here at home. Yeah. And, you know, I don't think one necessarily replaces the other. But when I was a kid, I grew up in New England. And we used to my dad, you know, always had the same two weeks and we would get in the car and we drive to Cape Cod, which is about an hour and a half from where we lived. And that was our thing, you know, for my whole childhood. And it was, it was funny because it just takes on a different, there's a different level. I think of connection, you know, if you're, when you're around home or you're watching a movie, it's great. Or you go into the park together, it's great, riding bikes. When you're somewhere that you haven't been or you don't know, you all get to discover it together. So when you share an experience together, you don't really think about it, but it actually is creating a stronger bond. That's good. You have a, you have a shared memory, number one. But there's just also that thing of like, remember when, you know, if, from that point on, you can say that. Remember when we did that? Remember when we had that thing happen to us. And it's not about, you know, let's spend a lot of money. We were on a trip in the thing that I noticed. We went to Greece. We were in an island called Paris. We stayed in an amazing place. The home was absolutely drop dead. Beautiful. And it came with, we didn't, you know, so to speak, order this, the home just came with a chef, which was, if, you know, if you rent in the home, the chef just came with it. And so, you know, we didn't say no to that. He said, right. This is pretty great. Right. And, you know, over the course of the week, we got to really know the chef. He was wonderful. And, you know, I don't know, did we like him more than he liked this? I don't know what doesn't matter. We all just get along wonderfully. And by the end of the week, he said, you know, before, before you go, I'd really love to show you where I live, but he lives in a farm. He had a family farm. He said, would you be open to coming to visit my farm? And of course, we all said, of course, we even love that. Let's go right now. And so he took us to the farm. We spent, you know, I don't know, a better part of the day on his farm. And of course, he had chickens, and he had dogs, and he had, you know, pigs, and he had, you know, a huge garden, and he had a well. We were drinking, you know, drinking from the well water and he had fruit trees and he just was so proud to like showers around. It was, you know, it wasn't on any checklist, it wasn't on any, you know, Google list of these are the 10 things you should do in Paris. It was, you know, spontaneous and unscripted and really, you know, amazing. And I see in the years since it's, you know, when we talk about that trip, that's the thing, that's the thing that everybody talks about. That's awesome. I love that so much. The stories that you bring home after you've connected as a family, I can remember, I went to, I probably shouldn't tell this on a podcast, but I have a hilarious story. I love it already. So I lived in England for a certain period of time and oh my gosh, maybe I shouldn't tell this on a podcast, but I'm going to tell you anyway. Okay. Just between us, just between us, but my sister came to visit when I was living in England and we wanted to travel around the countryside some more. And so being that we're from the south, we just, this was all new terrain for us. There was so much to see, so much to do. And she was there on a trip with her chorus from high school. So they went like on a school trip. And I was there because my husband and I, he was military and we were there on a military assignment. And I had all our passports and all the things. We were all good to go. And then I was pregnant with my 21 year old son at the time. So this was a long time ago. And we, we met up and decided we were going to go take the train to Paris and spend the day in Paris. So it was a day trip. Only morning train ride over late night, night train ride back. And my sister and I are almost identical. We are not twins, but you would think that we might be if you didn't know us very well. We look so much alike. And we get to the line, we get to the train station. We're standing in line on our way to Paris and I realized that I had left my passport at home. Bad idea. Yeah. Well, we have this amazing story in our back pocket because my sister and I look so much alike, she went through the line, slipped a couple of people back, handed me her passport and I got right through the country with her passport. Dad, it's not good. And we spent the day in Paris and I was scared to death I wasn't going to be able to get home. Yeah. I get on the other side and we did it again. She and I got back home. I got back home. I don't think you could get away with that these days. And that's probably an illegal thing to talk about, but that I snuck into another country on my sister's passport. But that's your limitations I think is over. Yes, yes. It was like 21 years ago almost because I was pregnant with my 21 year old. So it was a long time ago, but it's a story that we laugh about still, like how in the world did you, how do I sneak into another country? That is good. Yeah. You're very unique. There's not many people that could ever do that. But I just remember those connections that we made and the laughs about it and the fear around it. You know, like, yeah, it was almost like nervous laughter, you know, oh my gosh, can we, did we actually just get away with that and how in the world did that happen? And we still talk about it 20 years later. So I can see why I mean, that's amazing. I love it. Goodness. So tell me what's the difference? Like when someone's traveling together and just making it memorable versus making it meaningful. And so that those connections are things that last, like you have these stories, I have these stories. And when we come back, they're conversation points and we want to talk about those things. And how do you see that being the difference between just meaningful or just memorable or both? Yeah. So I would say a couple things. One is that I would say that a nice trip checks the boxes. You know, there's probably a pretty place that you're visiting, it's a nice hotel, maybe good food, and you enjoy it, but it doesn't really stay with you. And we have a little test that we, that we kind of give to all trips. We call it the five year test. And it's, what are you talking about five years later? And the, the trips that you end up talking about five years later tend to do a couple things well. Number one is they bring people closer and they create moments that make you feel something. That's the key thing is feel. And our brains are wired, you know, more to, more to feelings than to anything else. And so we're thinking about that and we actually tried to figure out how to kind of quantify that a little bit. So we came up with this thing. We have two little measurements. One's called the connection quotient and the other one's called a meaning meter. And I know that, that sounds a little bit technical or nerdy. But it's really just a way of asking, you know, how naturally does time together happen throughout the day? So as the experience create moments that people will actually remember and talk about, like five years later. And yeah, we found it's a helpful way to look at trips. We go into it a bit deeper on the website in terms of how we figure out the numbers and everything behind it. And you know, anybody that wants to visit us at travelvillaguy.com, they can find out more information about that there. That's awesome. Well, I would love to hear anything else you have to say about these experiences and how that gets you in touch with the alignment of your inner voice and your outer expression so that we are fully aligned in their most authentic selves and that we are radiant leaders. And how our experiences are part of who we are and they become part of us. They become part of the way we present ourselves to the world. And can you talk to that just a little bit before we go? Yeah. And I think this is something that really I don't see get talked about so much. But when you have a one-on-one with people and you ask about it, I think people are feeling this same way, life gets busy and people are in different places, they have different routines. They are pulled in a lot of different directions. And it's surprisingly hard to find time where everyone is just together, not rushed, not distracted, not on their phones, just present. But when that does happen, when you can create the conditions that allow that to happen, I think something shifts inside of us. And you get to have conversations that you normally wouldn't have, you laugh, you share moments that you didn't necessarily plan. And that's the thing that kind of sticks in on organ, you know, because at the end of the day, it's that, you know, what do the experiences make us feel? It gets back to that word feel. You feel more connected, you feel more like yourself, you feel happier. That kind of is the framework for our thinking of the gift of time together. That's good. I sometimes think of it like, when you look at your personality types and all that kind of stuff, I'm a pretty driven personality, but I also really value adventure, like it's one of my core values is adventure. And so I think about, you know, all work in no play makes Johnny a dole boy, well, it's the same for all of us, right? So if we just work all the time and we're always in survival mode, then we're not giving our nervous system the reset to know that we are actually safe in this world. And when we can take a step back and give our nervous systems a break and get out of survival mode. And it's almost like, I think we've talked about it before where you say, you know, there's a pattern interrupt there and that pattern interrupt is on a life level and a nervous system level. And so when we get out of our normal environments to go on an adventure, whether that's taking a hike out in nature, whether it's getting on a plane and going to some exotic place, I think that that gives our nervous systems this space to reset a little bit and we can get in touch with the fun part of ourselves again. And I know for me personally, that's really important for my family so that I'm not this really driven, stressed out survival mode mom all the time. Instead, I'm more grounded and able to connect and have these experiences with my kids that we can take with us into the future. Yeah. I think also the other, I think, is perspective, lastly because, you know, when you go to different places and you know, it doesn't have to be, you know, it doesn't have to be a Rio de Janeiro, if you go to another place, it can just be another state, right? You see, hey, you know what? People live differently and you know, there's a lot of people out there that do have a kind of a more calm and less stressful, I would say, you know, existence than we tend to have. And that's really inspiring when you see they, oh, wow, it's really possible. It's really possible to do this and, you know, you see, and you find out, you know, these are people that live to 102, you know, yeah, I heard about that like down in the the islands. I had a student the other day talking to me about he's from Colombia and he was telling me he missed Colombia because they had an unhealthy lifestyle too. They drank, they party, they ate things they weren't supposed to eat, but they lived long lives because they didn't have the stress levels. It was island life, they enjoyed their fast cars and their afternoon naps. And friends of ours that live in Puerto Rico for the same thing that island life is just a different pace. And I think that that is something very valuable that we can learn and take with us from things that people do in other cultures that are maybe even healthier than how we do it and gives us another paradigm to live from. - Yeah. - Yeah, absolutely. - I agree. - That's awesome. Well, Paul, I have super enjoyed spending some time with you this afternoon talking about all the things that we can do to connect and step outside of our normal. And I am so grateful that you took the time to chat with me today. - Yeah, well, I loved it. I would just say one thing I didn't close the loop on. We mentioned the guide and I don't know that I gave away if people actually do want to see it to get it. And it's just, it's pretty simple. It's just gift, the word gift got travelvillaguy.com. That's where they can go and get that for free if that's something they're interested in. - That sounds wonderful. And I'll have it in the show notes too. So that everybody can, that is interested in looking at this gift of, not just gift of travel, but the gift of a reset of our nervous system, the gift of connection, the gift of connecting with ourself again and the people around us that we care about most. And connecting with people outside of our circle too. I think that's really important. - Yeah, yeah, time together is what it's, I mean, just more people I meet the more I hear is the same thing, just what do you really want? You know, well, you can't get time, right? You can buy a lot of things, but you can't buy time. - Amen, that's so good. That's so good, it's our one-ron renewable resource. - Yeah, it's exactly, yeah. - Exactly. I enjoyed it, I didn't, I really didn't think I'd be talking about swallowing fire. But I'm glad we did and I'm glad I heard about how to get across the border if I don't have my passport. It's good, just have to find a twin, that's all. - Great, oh my goodness, it's fun times. You know, you can get, you can have so many fun stories when you talk about places you've been and experiences you've had. It's just, it's really fun. - Yeah, it's the best. - Well, thank you so much. - Thank you, lastly. - Hey, Radiant Leader, to dive deeper into our resources and connect with a powerhouse circle of like-minded leaders, come join our free community right now over at AuthenticVoiceLeadership.com. I will meet you right back here next Tuesday. Your voice matters, lead wild, lead free. Stay Radiant, my friend. ♪ Let your fire start with me ♪ (upbeat music)