Reverse Charades

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It doesn't just get you from here to there. It's a bridge to the people and places that matter most. It's how you show up for your family, your community, and everyone else that depends on you. That's why for 125 years, Firestone has been building tires with one thing in mind. To deliver products that are as reliable as you are. Firestone. Always dependable. Since 1900. Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers. And welcome to Distractible, this episode. Bobbly Bob gets burnt balancing his pool, then starts a pantomime party. Merrily married Mark plans his honeymoon, gets hot and wet in Iceland, crashes Wade, and deftly describes. Wardrobe Wonder Wade gets sore, considers a sartorial upgrade, and gives impossibly vague descriptions. From statistically snuffing it, to having a huge O. Yes, it's time for Reverse Charades. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome back to your mom's favorite podcast. Yeah, I've probably used that one before. Who cares? This is Distractible and I'm allowed to reuse ideas. That's what we do here. My name's Bob and I'm the host. Does that one? I'm the last one. Oh, I'm fine. No, they'll cut that out, I'm sure. I won the last one. Because I'm so smart and good at not dying on camera. I'm joined today, as always, by the two competitors in this episode. They will be competing to see who wins and gets to host the next one. That's the whole thing. Yeah, that's what we do. My competitors are, as always, Mark and Wade. Not always. Sometimes I've been known to host. Pleasure to be here, Robert. Thanks for having me. Well, that was very serious. Did someone die? Probably. I think, statistically, the answer to that's yes. Well, that's not good. And again, just now. Okay, calm down. Welcome back to another episode of Distractible. If you're here, you know what's going to happen. Unless you're new. In which case. God, I hope you're watching the video. God, you better be watching. You know how we feel about listeners. But yeah, I have a game prepared for today. And it's going to be really funny, just like they always are. We never miss here. But before we get into the definitely funny game, how you doing, guys? How's it going? By the time this has come out, I will have honeymooned. I'm going to tell you what's going to happen ahead of time. As if it's already happened. Holy shit, this is all planned out. Mark, Mark, some of this could stay secret. It's okay. You don't have to vlog everything. Here's an hour-by-hour breakdown of exactly how this adventure is going to go down. The hour is pretty generous, but all right. Minute by minute. That's pretty generous, but all right. By hour. Hour-by-by-hour. Semi-hour-by-semi-hour. First, I arrive. Where? I don't know. Let me tell you a story that has nothing to do with this and is relating to something that happened in the past. I arrived in Iceland. And when we were landing, I had read over the itinerary, right? We were going on a little vacation package. So this is going to relate to this somehow. You'll see. It'll all tie back together. You got some leniency, but you better get to the point, Counselor. I looked at the itinerary, and I was like, Oh, we're going to the Blue Lagoon Resort, right? Or a hotel or something like that. I don't know. It's the Blue Lagoon. Just a lagoon. And I was like, Iceland. Yeah, they got weird names over there. It's probably just a funny hotel. You know, Iceland with their funny names and all that stuff and silly words and the way they eat. They eat their horses. It's funny. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I see all over. There's like advertisements on the plain little screen. That's like the Blue Lagoon. You know, Icelandic? Yeah, Icelandic. Yeah. The famous Icelandic accent. Yeah, yeah. The Blue Lagoon. And I'm like, wait, why is everyone swimming in the Blue Lagoon? And I'm like, well, that's weird. Everyone's swimming. Because we're arriving at 6 a.m., right? So I'm like, whoa, I'm going to be tired. I'm going to be ready to take a nap, go to this hotel, maybe lay down for a bit, relax. And then Amy leans over to me and is like, all right, you pack swim trunks, right? I'm like, what? Why would I need swim trunks in a hotel? It's like a Bond villain hideout is where you just swim to the hotel under the lagoon. And so I basically started, I leaned over to the person in the seat next to us and I asked, what's the Blue Lagoon? And they looked at me like I was crazy. They kind of chuckled themselves. And they didn't answer, right? So now, they only spoke Icelandic. You had to, what is the Blue Lagoon? What is the Blue Lagoon? Yeah, you didn't say it right. And then I asked Amy, like, what's the Blue Lagoon? And she's like, how can you not know what the Blue Lagoon is? It was on the itinerary. We're going there first. Do you have your swim trunks? And I'm like, what's the Blue Lagoon? So the Blue Lagoon, I don't even know if that's the name of it. Blue Lagoon, Iceland. You're really funny if it's not. It is now. It is a very large, world-renowned geothermal spa in Iceland. So by asking, or trying to, anyway, Amy was extremely embarrassed by me asking what the most famous geothermal spa in Iceland was. Might as well just ask, what's Iceland? But she didn't tell me the entire time we were walking through the airports. There's big wall billboards of, come to the Blue Lagoon. And I'm like, I don't know what it is. Why won't anyone tell me? No one will tell me. And literally, Amy was like, I'm not telling you. I am not going to tell you. You should have read the itinerary. And wait. I did, I swear. So she refused to tell me until I got outside. And then we had a local guide drive us to the Blue Lagoon. And I was not allowed to ask him what it was. Amy forbade me from asking. It's a big geothermal pool. It's very nice. Sounds fun. Yeah, it was pretty nice. So I'm not going to read the itinerary for what's coming in Norway. But I assume that there's some kind of lagoon over there. You really learned your lesson. I'm going to know even less this time, so I won't be confused. You're just sitting on the plane in swim trunks and like arm floaties looking at Amy like, what's the lagoon? What color's the lagoon? Tell me about the lagoon. You've got your mountain climbing gear, right? Is that your parachute backpack or your regular backpack? So, yeah, I got that. That's going to be the entire crux of the honeymoon. And that's all that's going to happen. Just every day, every activity. Amy is like, oh, you better get dressed. And you start pulling out your like polar ski outfit or swim. You're like gauging Amy's reaction like tuxedo, not tuxedo. Nope. Didn't like that. Oh, what do we do? I packed for every occasion because I have no idea what the occasions are. And then I just laugh it off when she gives me the look. And I'm just like, that was a joke. Remember when I didn't know what the blue lagoon was? She puts on like a hazmat suit and you're like, what? One thing I didn't pack. That's when you put on your tuxedo and go out with style. Anyway, so, yeah, I will have a honeymoon and it will be great, I think. I hope it will be was a good time. It will was. It will was. You will have done it or you had already have done it. Wade, what honeymoon mystery are you experiencing in this past week have had you? You know, I don't have any alcohol down here, so I'm just going to take a sip. Of water, but pretend in a week, Bob, been a week. Oh, OK, there it is. Yeah, didn't get to play Slay the Spire with you guys at all this week and actually ate pretty well. I'm sore. You know, the people who tell you that you only get sore for like two days after exercising are liars. I played basketball on Monday. We got together Tuesday, right? I was like, I'm a little sore for playing basketball. We already talked about this this week. I'm still fucking sore. My arms still hurt. That's been four days ago. But still. I've been moving around trying to get some exercise and like my legs are fine because I've been walking, but did not play more basketball since Monday. So tomorrow, whenever I finally stop crying, go shoot some big old hoops. I put on a sleeveless shirt to play, and it's one that I had when I was like it was, you know, the style when we were in high school is like baggy clothes. So I had this baggy basketball shirt. I put it on and I've got like beer belly hanging out. Every time I jump, my like belly falls out of the bottom and the shirt like sits on top. And my nephew's looking at me like. Oh man, you really sure you want to play that wear that in front of your neighbors and you know birds and stuff like people and animals are watching you're really birds are gonna laugh at you a lot i think they did so i'm it might be time to upgrade my wardrobe a little bit i've learned you are allowed to buy new clothes i mean honestly good on you for making clothes last because that is you know fast fashion has its downsides and it's you know you don't you don't need to be going burning through clothes but since high school i think you're allowed to oh yeah you're allowed to have bought some shirts since then not saying we're old but i think we're all feeling that we're kind of old older than half my life ago some of these shirts i still wear yeah like junior i still have a couple of sleeveless shirts from junior high that i'm like ah my lucky sleeveless shirt i put it on twice a year the logo it was like a uc bearcat shirt but all of the logo is gone so now it's just like a blank red shirt with like one little black splotch where there was once a paul you know you buy more shirts but i know what shirt it is i know what the logo used to look like you could buy shirts at gas stations in cincinnati it's not hard i want uc to call me and let me go and talk to their like streaming podcasting classes i know they've got them they have that we just took my needs to georgia state they had a whole building that was like technology and something i should probably know what this building was called but like yeah we have this big podcasting room and they're like different classes where they're i was like they teach podcasting what do they what i just want to be a fly on the wall and you could really benefit from that i could use a lot of help yeah did they let seniors audit classes you know like a keep active sort of thing i'm your age oh i was thinking seniors like college i was like well yeah no he met grandparents senior citizens there's like you know there's those elder education programs where it's like hey you gotta you want to do something fun come take come take some classes i grade and i bottled i bottled i grade and bottled early but i'm still young man that really rewrites some of our most iconic bits i just can't get out of my head now you just going and i'm bottled i keep getting recommended our shorts lately i keep watching them they're all pretty good we have funny moments i didn't know we were funny yeah occasionally oh sometimes if only we had our clips game on that's a bad way to say it our highlight real goodness posting you know if we did that good think of where we were we would be a little bit further ahead yeah or something like that yeah a little bit louder now but i really like being at college and there was a time where i thought i was going to go into like being a college professor of philosophy till all my philosophy professors like pulled out a cigarette out of nowhere they're like don't do it you don't want to be like us do something or anything else i was like all right and they all smoke like this that's how philosophy professors smoke it's it's part of the rules i puff therefore i am that's how they flick i don't know i never smoked yeah cool people flick cigarettes i don't know i think that'd be fun it'd be fun to go just be a guest or be a fly on the wall or even just not to get a degree but just to go like sit in some of these classes and see what they're teaching because like i'm fascinated to know how do you have a whole class on doing something that i think we're pretty i shouldn't say weird i'm pretty stupid and somehow it's worked out but like what am i supposed to be doing to get here i don't know man probably exactly everything we did on the way here i know a couple of our friends have gotten to go and be like guest speakers at colleges and high schools and like i want to know it's like wanting to be a juror i've never had to be a juror they never called me for that either it's like the things i want to do no one ever calls me for i'm not gonna call the college be like please let me come teach you i'm begging you do you have a business email with which they could somehow yeah i never checked that okay all right then well all you university people who are typing up that email throw it in the trash it's not going to be seen i get the alumni emails where they ask me for money and do you give money do you give money no i hate those kids maybe that's maybe that's how you get into the classrooms is you need to give them the money first and then they'll let you teach i want to teach your class here's money is that how you become a teacher i guess it is i become a teacher yeah i'm pretty sure that's how it works i don't know what my small talk was but that was it i wrote down points great i know i'm the host so my small talk really doesn't matter and i'm not important but uh get ready for a lot more of this i don't know if you can tell but i'm real crispy opening day of our pool this is the first time since we moved six plus months ago where the pool was open the chemicals were balanced which i've been battling with for like a week and a half has been really fucking annoying and we did it and we swam in the pool like all day today and so i'm pretty red and crispy and i'm definitely gonna be kind of sunburny for the whole summer i'm used to pools that open until like may or june so it's wild that you guys are like able to swim and stuff yeah i mean it was it was not like hot today but it was warm enough and sunny and with and the pool is heated so if you were in the water it was great and as soon as you got out it was kind of like ah let's go inside you probably like cool water see i'm i like bath water i mean it's heat it's a heated pool it's warm pool's heated to like i don't know 80 some degrees 84 degrees or something it's pretty warm see i'm the guy that went to florida in july in the pool that's been sitting in the sun baking could basically boil a lobster out but i'm like oh that's great i go to the ocean it's cold the ocean is still i'm talking about like the gulf in summer where it's not cold still cold so it's natural water is always cold so cold i think thanks you can have it though because you're the host anyway i'm definitely going to show up to some episodes over the course of the summer and be catastrophically sunburnt so you'll have that to look forward to it's probably going to be pretty funny it's a big pool right we could fit a pontoon or something in there so we do a boat episode no we're doing a boat episode in the pool we have to okay cool uh it's big enough to fit very funny things carnival or one of the cruises will sponsor us and they're going to put a cruise ship in your pool what was that private yacht collection we read commercials for can we get a private yacht in my pool oh yeah that was uh the the it was the hotel the famous hotel but they have a yacht club uh wait when the hell did you guys read a you guys read did you guys get a sponsorship that i wasn't there for no no we talked about this you were there luxury thing did you go on what do you mean we talked about this i don't remember it we did a ritz carlton yacht club read of us did it because i remember talking about it we did a ritz carlton ad read it was the ritz carlton private yacht collection something something and i'm not gonna say it was during the part of the final final stretch of movie production where you were absolutely killing yourself working 20 hours a day fitting podcasts in whenever you could around the clock but you might not remember it for a reason oh did you guys get yachts and i didn't i wish i literally sent a couple emails and was like hey i know we get samples sometimes i would take a sample of a yacht i don't know how you get yacht samples but uh just send the money i learned from watching that oprah car giveaway that the people that won the car still had to pay taxes and stuff on them i don't know if i want to pay taxes on a free yacht it's why modern car giveaways it's always like win a 2026 chevy corvette and 25 you don't get to keep the money that's to cover the taxes on the car yeah that makes sense i don't what's the tax on a yacht probably high well don't rich people not pay taxes there's probably no tax on a yacht it's probably a tax exempt so if they give you the yacht you become rich you don't pay taxes anymore it's a yacht for educational purposes so there's no taxes to learn about how yachts are you educate that's stupid i'm not gonna finish this wait i don't even know where you were going yeah i was trying to buy a yacht and education but it didn't yeah education but it was just the education with a yeah it was it was stupid it was stupid that's why i said stupid that didn't want to move i want to move on education that's better than yeah education yachication educa yacht zication educa yeah yeah education oh i didn't that was too that was something i didn't like it it was off-putting sorry all right tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids at college that's why she shops at bj's wholesale club saving up to 25 off grocery store microwave meals laundry pods even they can't screw up have you met my kids and with bj's gas she gets there for less they call me the road warrior this is your home road warrior mom home of the save join for just twenty dollars at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save you guys want to play a game you don't have a choice because i'm the host and that's what we do here but if you want to play a game you can play a game and you can play a game and you can play a game it's really easy you guys familiar with charades there's no way what this is a quick aside last night apparently i like woke up last night and i had a moment where i was like man i've got this great idea for a podcast episode i typed myself a note to remember today and all i typed on the note pictionary podcast that's literally all i wrote and i woke up today and i was like the fuck does that mean what was the idea i stole your idea and also this could not have less to do with pictionary you know charades one person like draws a card they get a thing they have to act it out and the other people have to guess what it is we're not doing that i like to call this reverse charades one person is going to be given the card it's gonna i'm gonna they're gonna be easy that person has to tell the other person what to do and the person acting whatever it is, has to guess what the word is that they're acting out. I love it. All right. This is great. Okay. It's reverse or inverse charades. I don't know. It's different charades. So we're going to go back and forth and I'm going to flip a coin to see who gets to go first. Getting some more space for this so that I can, I know that there's going to be a lot of physicality here. This is, I'm trying to keep it to where like you can stay at your desk, but like you can get crazy with it. You guys are allowed to escalate this to wherever it wants to go. I'm not going to limit you. Should I limber up? I think that's entirely on Wade's hands at this point. I don't know. This is my limbering. That's the maximum limbering I can do. You look so limber. Lady is Wade. Lion is Mark. I definitely need to stretch because I just told you I'm still sore as hell. All right. The lady goes first. That means I'm going to give, I'm going to send you a word in our secret private chat, Wade, and that's going to be your word. There's going to be a timer on this, right? So you get. Oh, good. Okay. I didn't explain all the rules. It's very, it's not convoluted. It's always fine. There's going to be a timer and Wade, you get a point if Mark successfully guesses it and Mark gets a point. If I successfully guess it before he says it, I'm going to write my guesses down in my, in my notes. So shouldn't he just never guess it? No, you have to participate. If you, if you, we don't do that. Come on now. Come on. Everyone's participating. Do I need to structure it in a way where you're forced to participate? Otherwise you suffer. No, I will. Cause I just want to. I don't want to be able to guess it. What is it? The first year of the podcast? I don't know what year we are. Every, every game, every episode was like, I'm suspicious about something. Something ain't right. Something. I'm not doing it. That's true. That's so true. Ever since was a secret words that really broke us as friends. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It did. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. That's true. I'm setting the timer at three minutes. Wait, I'm going to send you your word. I was going to say, I haven't even seen the word yet, but okay. You haven't said it. That's good. Fine. Calm down. Calm down. I'm going to set the timer at five minutes. We'll see how that plays. I'm going to send Wade the word and then start the timer. It's a good thing. Mark's limber. Yeah. Ready? Yeah. Go. I almost just send it to the wrong person. It's fine. Oh, okay. Um, Mark, I need you to, with your two hands, put them together. Like at the wrist. Uh, no, no, no. Like, uh, hands, hands facing out. Like you're, you're waving with both hands, but you're touching it. The wrist. But at the wrist. Yeah. Then spread your hands out and hide your thumbs. Hide my thumbs. Hide your thumbs. It's just the eight other fingers. And then I want you to kind of wiggle them and, uh, start, start high. High? And, uh, you're going to see an enemy. See an enemy. That's not it. That's not it. Keep going. Pretend you have them dropping down from something. Like pretend I have them dropping down from something. Hey, this is the craziest way you could have done this. I know, man. I'm much better at the acting than I am the describing. We know this about me. All right. Continue. Continue. Three minutes, 50 seconds. Continue. Okay. Pretend I have them dropping down. Like it's kind of like wiggle them around and, uh, make like, um, uh, snowflake pattern. How? What? How? Not with your fingers. Then with what? Your, both the hands together. You're going to drop down and kind of like move in like a diamond shape. Move them to keep them together. No, no, no. Wrist. Wrist together. No. Yep. Keep going. Perfect. Perfect. Yep. Move them down. I'm moving for all the listeners. My hands are doing nothing. What he's saying. Nevermind. You know what? We're going to start over. I got a better idea. I got a better idea. Aha. Walk like you're kind of just strut. Strutting your stuff. Okay. You're going to strut your stuff. You're walking around and all of a sudden, uh, uh, stop and look very like, Bob, I hate this. Uh, by doing it, I'm perplexed as hell. I want to jump in and do this so badly because you're so close to doing it right. You're walking and then you're going to come to a sudden stop and start reaching at your face and start picking something off and kind of like flinging it away, throwing it, spit a little. You're disgusted. Oh, I walked into a spider nest. Oh, oh, spider web, spider. I'm so good at this. Spider web, spider web. What the fuck is this? I was trying to get you to make a web as a spider. He was trying to get you to make a spider with your head. Why am I wiggling? That was the craziest shit you could have possibly done. I'm crazy. We know this. All right. Watch me. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Listen to me and I'll watch you debate. Got there. Didn't we? Also, Bob, I feel like the guessing for you is going to be really. No, you know what? Once I said it out loud, I heard it because I'm telling you what the word is. So I just gave Mark the point immediately because I was right. It was spider web. That's right. I write some of these ideas down at three in the morning when I can't sleep and I'm not going to lie. Me too. I didn't think that one all the way through until I it's fine. I'm not. So we're not going to do that. It's fine. But Mark was a very good sport and Mark did a very good job guessing. And I'm going to give Mark five minutes on this next one. But I think we're going to turn the time down on the next round because you finished that with like two and a half minutes and you did just an awful job when. Oh, couldn't have been very much worse to start off on that one. Anyway, Mark, you ready? Yes. Go. Oh, I have it. It's in the chat. Okay. Okay. Wade, go to the left side of frame. My left. Your left. Either left. Doesn't matter. You're going to go to the frame. Okay. Now there's, there's a fence in the middle of your camera, right? Okay. So you're going to, you're going to go and you're going to jump over it and then do it again. Well, okay. But I mean, yeah, go back to the beginning and then, you know, just hop, hop. All right. Whatever. Okay. I'm hopping. No, the, over the fence, the fence. You can just get. It's repetitious action. Repetitious action. Hopscotch. Uh, uh. Yeah, but more, more gently and, you know, do it softer. Softly jump over the fence. Okay. All right. Now, now sit back down and you're, you're watching that happen in front of you. You're watching it. Your head, head, track it with your head. All right. Uh-huh. Okay. All right. It's a whole bunch of them. They're not hopping back and forth. They're not. You got that in your mind. Counting sheep. Uh. Oh, I'm going to count that. I'm going to count that. It's just sheep. Oh, okay. See, I don't know how would you, other than go bad like a sheep. Yeah. Well, isn't that just the bitch of it? But I'm glad I got the, I was like, okay, that's a bunny. It's hopscotch. It's jumping jacks. It's the horses. It's. It was an obtuse way to go. It's the only thing I thought of. That's what I thought with the dangling spider. But, you know. It didn't work out for me. All right. Since we're doing so well. Oh, no. I'm going to keep it easy. This is going to be fun. We're going to do three minutes. And Wade, you have your word. Ready, set, go. Okay. Mark, you're. You have to stay on camera, but you're laying down. Okay. Stop. We need those. He can't hear you right now. That would, that would help if he could hear me. Cross. One arm over your left shoulder, your left arm over your to your right shoulder. And you're, yeah. Crisscross your arms like that. Okay. Eyes closed. And now all of a sudden burst your eyes awake and take like a big breath. I'm a mummy vampire. Not even a living head. Let's go back to eyes closed, mouth closed and, uh, shake your body. Like you're getting electric jolts and then I have your eyes and mouth open. I'm a vampire. I'm, I'm a mummy. What the fuck else? Uh, okay. Uh, the electric jolts are stemming from your chest. I'm a patient and cardiac arrest. I'm, I'm in the rescue position or whatever this is. I'm about to go down a water slide and they're cattle prodding me to go down. Cause I refuse to make the jump and I passed out at the top. Okay. Uh, remember these are like short, easy one word things, right? Like one or two words. Uh, minute 30. Okay. Uh, go back to eyes closed. Okay. Mouth closed. Let's let's drop our arms to our side and now you're going to feel, uh, just have your chest kind of like it's being pushed and then open your mouth a little bit and imagine someone pinching your nose and blowing into your mouth. I'm a CPR patient. Wait, uh, I'm an airbag. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a balloon. Uh, okay. Got it. Got it. Let's go a different direction real quick. Um, move around. Move around like your whole body's made of wood. Now, uh, when you talk, pretend your nose grows. Pinocchio? But all of a sudden you're no longer made of wood. I'm a real, I'm a real boy. Just find some parallel between these things. 25 seconds. Uh, homunculus. Hey, hey, hey. Uh, uh, uh, uh. Eyes closed. Mouth closed. Arms at side. You're right now. You're. three I am dead I am but but when you open your eyes oh he said undead yeah we were we were close you were close wait he did really good you just needed to like what was the word what was the word it was alive you got you right to like you were dead well okay the thing is I've got to give him actions right yeah but like no I I see I see it now I see it kind of I don't get the wooden plank thing well I was trying to beat your Pinocchio now you're alive you're a real boy you're alive you're not just I was panicking with 30 seconds to find another alive parallel okay all right I got you that's my bad that's my bad yeah I got the vampire like coming back you were undead rather than alive so I was like okay we gotta get away from that let's go with like CPR or the paddles or something I was trying to bring you back to life I get it now I get it now I you just I feel like you just kept giving up right when Mark was on the precipice and being like let's try something else completely well it wasn't it was I was it was I felt like I was only allowed to give him actions as clues I couldn't just be like synonym for like I couldn't do that so it was like what's another action I can do to come back to life no I appreciate sticking to the rules at least I didn't switch to the birth canal I was gonna go there that route but that would have got me right there I didn't have time I was like okay here's sperm you hit an egg all right you're popping out your baby oh well then we got to define exactly what people are debating whether you are or are not this thing how many weeks has it been if only I'd gone that route all right Mark are you prepared to instruct oh yeah I cannot tell if these are harder or easier I'm honestly trying to match the difficulty so there you go right I said there's your word be small well okay hold on all right we're going there you're tiny yeah hideous bideous flatten out smaller flatter smaller flatter oh he's nailing this close flat flat flat flat flat flat you all right and now open on one hinge for the listeners he rolled to his right okay all right okay let's this isn't working um two minutes back out a bit back back out a bit back out of it uh make a humming sound okay now now the humming rise the humming in pitch and then start sweating start sweating start sweating 30 and you can't move by the way okay and now bring it down I'll stop sweating back down to idle hmm no keep the humming going what are you remember these are like one or two word things are like simple things yeah okay all right good don't forget to subscribe to my channel and I'll see you in the next video do the humming and now you've just lost power okay turn back on hold on a second now lose power in a dramatic fashion all right okay that's my bad uh uh turn back on uh turn off but in kind of a dish rando I can't remember hmm oh power switch power off uh toggle surge uh 15 seconds generator uh flat hinge uh uh I make a box shape with your arms a box now now narrow the box narrow the box now push your arms out from your forehead straight out the 90 degrees and then down last guess oh the the the the uh the I'm a wajoosh. I'm a wajoosh. I'm a wajoosh. No, Colin. That's wrong. The word was computer. What exactly were you trying to think of with the wajoosh? I was thinking of like Dr. Arnold in Jurassic Park pulling the fucking power. Yeah, yeah. All right, make a humming noise. Okay, now power off dramatically. All right. That is dramatic. If my computer did that, I'd be very worried. That would be terrible news if your computer did that. That would not be good. Mark, I just want you to remember, let's both remember this when Bob gets a one-man show. All right, okay. We'll give him some easy words. All right, I have another easy one. Wade, are you ready for another easy one? I'm limber. Oh, fuck me. Yeah, let's do it. Wade, begin. Okay. I want you to stand with your arms at your side. Yeah, that's fine. And start counting down from like 10 in your mind. And as you get to like three, start shaking and get more and more like violent with the shaking and then slowly rise. Am I the Artemis rocket? Rocket. It's rocket. The word is rocket. Oh, thank God. I'm so good at this. I felt so much better than alive in spite. I finally feel alive. I just feel confident. Oh, I'm the best. Yes. Oh, man. Yes. That was a good description, right? I finally did good? It was pretty good, yeah. But my genius interpretation of it is what gets the point here. At least I feel good about myself for a moment. After alive in Spider-Web, I was feeling pretty low. Get ready. That's good. I'll change that. I mean, you can do whatever you want. You know that I give people points for laugh, causing me to laugh. That's true. That's true. All right, Mark, you ready? All right, Zach, go. Be flat. Get flat. Flatter. Get flat. Now stretch out. Stretch. Stretch super not out. Along. Long. Get long. Now flat. What are you? Am I a rolling pin? Dough? Am I dough? No. Enter a lower dimension. Go. Get going. What are you? Here I am. Going down? What is? I'm in hell. Okay. All right. All right. Hold your hand in front of your face. Now turn it sideways. Thin. Paper. Skinny. Scrawny. Go up and down with it. Huh? Split. Divided. Cut. Take. Take your finger. Put it off frame. Now, go to the other side. Slowly. Eye exam? Oh, no. Close your eyes. Minute ten. Close your eyes. Feel as you do that thing I said. Drag. Pull. Oh, God. Oh, okay. All right. Forget everything I said. Stand with your hands in your pockets. You're, you're, you're looking out. You're waiting, right? Wait. Check your watch. Say out loud, man. When's this train gonna get here? Time. Pace. Wait. Board. Uh, nothing. Think. Thirty seconds. Uh, look at your, what's on your shirt right now? Nothing. Uh, plane. Plane. Fabric. Cotton. No, look at what's laying across. Headphone. Earphone. Thirty seconds. Oh, oh, wait. You've got people in front of you and behind you, and you're standing. Line. Ah! Oh! Oh, with ten seconds left, what a comeback. Oh! Oh, yeah. You said put me in a line of people. I was right there with you on line. Okay, yeah. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. This guy scared you. Almost got you there. All right. Well, I will say, I'm using, I'm just using your website for this. I didn't think of these things. I've been keeping it on easy. Oh, good. I'm gonna tweak the settings a little bit. Hmm. Well, look, there's easy, medium, hard, and really hard, and I can also pick the number of words. I'm not gonna go to the highest of either of them. Does that make you feel any better? No. Well, those aren't related. What the fuck? Hang on. Wait. No, no, no, no. Go for it. This is just too random. I thought it would be like, no, okay. I'm gonna stick to this. I'm gonna stick to one word. Oh, you thought it was gonna be like a phrase? Yeah, I, the first one was muscle drums. I was like, that's not a thing. That's not a thing. All right. Uh, it's Wade's turn again, and since we're making it more difficult, I'm gonna take 30 seconds away from you. Okay, good. So you have two minutes, 30 seconds. Wade, I'm about to send you your word, and it's not very hard. It's just medium. All right. Ready? Set. I typed that in the wrong box. Ready? Set. Charade. All right. Uh, uh, put your leg, stand up and, uh, put your leg up like you're propping it up on something and then reach up and adjust. uh maybe like a fancy hat on your head um and then uh put your hands out in front of you and grab a boat wheel like a like a boat steering wheel captain you could have not said 90 of that it's still cotton captain well i was going for some weird reason the first thing i thought of was the alcohol captain whatever the fuck i i loved it that was great put your leg up immediately i could see mark's face was like my leg is up well i was like picture the guy with his leg on the barrel with the captain's head i was like wait i can't say that you know captain morgan that's his name i couldn't think of the name i was like you know that guy morgan put your leg up on a barrel and hand me alcohol who are you all right this one this one could be esplanulated in a thousand ways this might be too easy for how good you have been mark you know i'm gonna fucking not guess it i'm gonna look really stupid now well it will be probably easier if i don't send you a typo ready set parade okay hold your arm up now hold your other arm like this perpendicular like okay now bring them together not that far bring it a little a little closer yeah now look put your head through that gap no not all the way through just put frame your yeah but step lean your head back now look at the intersection and then gesture the intersection towards me like that like this as if i'm supposed to get it because you're playing charades right look look down at the other second go like look at me and go uh uh okay all right what are you stop sighing now you're never gonna get this okay all right forget this everything about this you're walking upstairs can't trip a little bit stumble you're yeah you got long you got long trip up a little bit go up those stairs you got long you got long on i was tripping my long pants my long shorts my long legs my long slippers one minute my long dick is getting in the way of the stairs i see i see the vision mark don't surrender all right and then then you're done with the stairs now you're just walking extend your right hand out extend your left hand over your right hand with your the first hand i forget which one it was move it up and down and with your other hand grab onto something no it's it's imaginary just grab onto something 20 seconds walk away guess something you have 12 seconds what what did you grab uh broom mop vacuum sweep three flat become flat put yourself on a wall final guess you have one more guess dustpan no no no i just threw up words man it's it's because it's like a different version of the word for the thing i was like oh man it's degree you were accepting your degree uh-huh and so this it was supposed to be i figured this would get you close to angle but you know i think you could have got me there more with the stairs i don't i don't i understand except the diploma you're shaking hand grabbing okay i couldn't just said you're walking on stage you know in a row but we could have said that but i didn't instead i was just on a random staircase walking like no the stairs were done you you were done with the stairs i'm sure i was done with the stairs that's like gundam style i look look it's it's so pretty you do this and you grab and you take your yeah and then i should have gotten there but i didn't close you've been doing so well wade that i feel like i had to turn it up to difficulty again so i'm gonna give you a really hard one are you ready how much time do i have two and a half though i'm gonna leave the time i feel like we're at a good amount of time i don't want to torture you too badly wait here's your word go mark okay you're standing you're leaning up against a post or something you know you got your back leaning up uh and you're gonna stand there look at your watch uh and kind of look around with like a dirty look right now you're just gonna keep on standing there and pretend someone approaches you uh a police officer approaches you and they point and gesture at you and kind of like wave yeah yeah uh and then start walking away and then you stop walking and you lean up against the post again and then you're gonna look smugly back in the direction of the cop and then just stand there and look at your watch i'm i'm a criminal i'm i'm loitering i'm i'm a loiterer i'm a loiterer yes oh my god it's i'm a loiterer it's literally loiterer oh god you're so smart and beautiful oh i really pieced it together after a while there i really pieced together yeah god i can't well i can't believe you got that sometimes i feel like i'm like am i allowed to describe this that was so good when you started and he was he was kind of just doing it i was like i don't know if mark's following him along on this but he did he took the journey that was so beautiful i if you hadn't gotten there from i was like i have no other directions for you how else do i describe loitering other than someone who is loitering mark i'm so sorry that was great the only reason i know is because brian regan what you're in for loitering as soon as i saw the word i was like mark and i could get this in two seconds you're in prison a guy looks at you and is like what are you in for loitering i'm a loiterer i don't have anywhere to be i didn't have that knowledge some of us are better friends than others are we bad friends for not showing him brian regan probably i'm objectively a bad friend to wade we live close enough that we can hang out all the time and i just don't ever we don't do that you don't do it either it's not like you text me a lot and i say no but i don't do it either and i i get i get credit for that for being for not being a very good friend that's totally fair same here mark i'm real sorry about this by which i mean i'm sure it's going to be fine and i'm 90 sure this is equally as hard as loiterer was but you have to tell it to wade ready set charade uh put your leg up on the thing now fix your hat like it's real fancy now you've got something big and heavy carrying with both hands hobbling along my leg's still up okay yeah yeah you stand up and you have a big heavy thing and you're one one leg pirate chest booty okay and then you set it set it down sit back down all right okay rub your hands like this greed gold treasure wiggle your fingers like you're you're you're a spider or something yeah do a little more rubbing put your fists at your chin and part it and then you're good to go minute 30 yeah reach up into the gap pull out like you're pulling out something and kiss it move your hand towards the big heavy thing you just sat down key lock unlock uh okay turn turning the key opening the chest you sure are then move yeah put your hands both like this and move them up and over okay reveal buried treasure dug you put your hands at your head and you go with a big make your mouth into an o breathe out oh hands like this just hands point your fingers point it down reach down in there put your fingers kind of together and scoop up coins gold uh gold coin a silver coin uh doubloons uh oh it's the balloon i had to paint the whole picture right i had to had to take you on that journey i was like okay it's it's the beard beads i need the beard beads no i don't i need oh it's my hat again i was trying to do everything without saying part your beard i feel like you're over restricting yourself i think you could have you could have said some more words in there but you did it you did it honorably and you did it well i could have told you to get flat you should be grateful get flat i got flat so much today all right that was really good i am now realizing i may have set the points up in a way that rewarded the wrong person uh wade in no particular order you earned points for being a sore old man needing clothes uh you got spider web you got rocket you gave mark a very dramatic shut off uh you got captain and you got loiterer uh mark you got points for finally going on your honeymoon or have had a good time had been had gone in the whatever points for what's the lagoon points for keeping your honeymoon a mystery to keep it spicy uh you got points for getting sheep line and doubloon and you got points for get flat flatter stay flat leaving the final score eight for wade seven for mark i really thought mark would be ahead at this point i honestly think there were definitely a couple moments where i really laughed at something that wade did didn't give him a point for it or anything and then we just continued i'm not cognitively at my peak i can't lie boys i'm a little tired all day in the sun we'll do that to you you know that sounds like it's a really rough day hanging out at the pool too much pool and sunshine for me that's terrible i'm so sorry so you're not worried about hosting the whole family for the holidays why would i be wayfair had everything i needed to get the house holiday ready what if mike brings his cheerful dogs my tree has tons of five-star reviews telling me how sturdy it is but what if everyone's plus one brings a plus one we'll see how extendable this extendable table really is and extra chairs are on the way okay what if there's a blizzard and everyone has to sleep over ready to go with extra bedding and towels from guest ready essentials to holiday decor you can trust wayfair delivers sorry man anyway how many wheel spins we're gonna get clearly an odd number oh oh interesting one wheel spin who's in the lead right now i don't remember is it me wait it's up by one okay good i don't want golf i was like i want to see those golf rules i think i don't want golf rules all right i am going to add can i add things that are abstract i want to add got the flattest but i i don't think that makes any fucking sense i don't care it's your turn it'll never come up the yeah if there's one thing we've learned it's that these will never never come back to bite us and we'll always remember what we meant it'll be just like the scottish accent if it comes up whichever one of us gets the flattest first to get the point you know what i mean just men mean men men you know what i mean men you know what i meant anyway one spin i'm sure nothing bad will happen if like you know my car gets smashed by a semi again and gets really flat but then that comes up and mark gets really flat on camera first who wins oh wow man no question about it well i guess it doesn't fucking matter what i do then does it you are the king of getting this the wheel has declared it is sudden death and thusly a tie and thusly it's a fresh wheel though it is a fresh wheel that's not what that's supposed to look like give me a second hang on wait is that how small that was when mark hit it it was very yeah it was very it was a very a relatively small amount so what do we have it's six percent it starts at six yes it starts at six so it's 360 degrees times 0.06 it's 21.6 because this thing uses degrees for some fucking reason so i'm gonna set it at 21 boom that looks better no it's tiny there's no way there's no way it could not happen no way i dare god no don't you have to hire my parachuting clowns man you're gonna talk to god like that you're gonna need okay okay okay it never slows down it just stops until it wants to though sometimes it's very dramatic yeah it totally did that to mark where it was all one man show when it wants to be mark wins yay i feel like i deserved it for sure i feel like i deserved it too but you had all the honeymoon points and stuff so you can you i won't even use the coin i'll just let you have it so do we add we had two percent now is that what we've decided to do yeah in in previous times yes i believe so two percent oh mark wins congratulations mark thank you a hard fought victory indeed uh would you like to give your winner speech uh yes i would uh i was down by all accounts i should have lost but fate fate is the only thing that matters and it smiled upon me today just like it will smile upon ye if ye decide to follow this podcast that's the only way to tempt fate i click follow and unfollow again and again and again and again and again and again and again until the entire algorithm doesn't know what to do with us therefore i win and you can too it's like a video game with a broken mechanic if you just follow and unfollow to start distractable infinitely you will eventually achieve infinite luck and be an unkillable god or win an episode of distract either one uh wait loser speech listen i started a little slow spiderweb and alive but as we went along the parabolic curve was really moving in my favor one more round that i would have been an undisputed champion that even sudden death on the wheel couldn't have stopped because i have this bad boy and i would have used you'd used elized it to the fullest new word i made you're allowed to do that when you're as cool as me but alas we didn't have that final round and the true champion was crowned and i will live by that you're just starting out there that you forgot you could have used your unfair challenge until it was too late or did you no i chose not he chose okay okay good fight everyone and good luck mark great luck even yeah thanks for playing the game uh that was really funny for me so i assume the viewers and the listeners really enjoyed it probably the viewers more than the listeners maybe but make sure you follow these guys mark plier lord minion 777 or minion 777 i am my skirm make sure you follow the podcast like mark said infinite luck glitch totally works we have merch distractible dot shop man i used to make fun of wade for not knowing it and now it's i don't win enough so i don't say it enough i guess and uh that is it we will be back next monday with another episode hosted by mark because he earned it with his face i'll start winning again soon you wish uh that's it see you on the next one where i will definitely win and then i'll host and then mark willman and he'll host and then the conspiracy will continue love you all podcast out you're not worried about hosting for the holidays oh wayfair's got me covered with holiday decor extra dining chairs and guest bedding all with tons of five-star reviews so there's no surprises unless uncle matt brings his dogs again for worry-free hosting wayfair delivers hank joined bj's wholesale club the day he became a father of 30 i coach football now coach hank saves up to 25 off grocery store prices 30 pounds of pasta three cases of protein bars 75 sports drinks and that's just pre-game he knows teamwork and bj's knows savings this is your home coach home of the save join for just twenty dollars at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save Home of the Save.