Reinventing Yourself at Any Age with Monaye Marcia

Hi everybody and welcome back to the things we know today we are diving into a topic that so many women in our audience are craving, which is how to reinvent yourself and embrace joy and pleasure at any age. Yes, I love it, reinventing is such a powerful concept and whether it's after a major life change which so many of us are experiencing or transition into midlife again. How many of us are experiencing or simply a desire for something more. We all deserve to live a life that feels aligned, fulfilling and full of joy and pleasure. And so today we have the perfect guest to join us and speak about this. She's going to help us break it all down. Monet Marseille is a certified trauma coach, author, international speaker and all around powerhouse. She helps women rewrite their stories, identify and heal from self betrayal, can't wait to get into that and step fully into their desires without guilt or hesitation. We met because Monet and I were on the Outliers Edge podcast and it was us and like four other coaches and podcasters and the two of us were just like, click in and texting, oh my god, I love you. I love you. What the hell? We got to hook up. So it's very exciting to have you here. Welcome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm super excited to be here too. And like you said, yeah, we were paying attention, but we just knew we found our people. And so we went forward. Yeah, we totally did. So thank you for joining us. Thank you. Oh my gosh. I'm excited to get into this and I have a couple of questions that I want to get right into. But I also just want to give you a chance. Could you tell us just a little bit about your journey? What got you into this work? Yeah, you know that interesting part about this. And if anybody is out here on all the social media and tiktok and all of that, I put a post up today on which is the reason I got into this work. I put up a post that says grief is love. And so a lot of people are experiencing tomorrow Valentine's Day, right? But not everybody is excited about it. And so part of my story was my daughter's father was murdered and I was having a hard time. And so I had already started doing coaching, self coaching. And then I started helping my daughter figure out how to be better through coaching, but I was inconspicuous, you know, when I did that. And then I started helping other children who had experienced parental homicide. So I started off as a grief coach, which is very interesting. And then there were other women that was like, wait, how are you okay? Like not your children lose their father. Not only was this a man that you loved, but you are kind of still living and doing a lot of things. Well, can we get someone there? And so that's when I transitioned from doing just grief for the children to like actually happen women who experienced trauma or who have experienced change in their life, they kind of held them back, they wanted to be unstuck, and then I went from there. I'm just curious. So your personality, again, you and I've already had this conversation. You told me that story and I was blown away. Your personality is so energetic and effervescent, and just like magnetic. Even during that grief, were you this way, like is that what people were going, how the hell are you? Okay. Well, so it's like I, what I did was I allowed myself to grieve the way that grief works for me. So naturally a person is like you say, very energetic. However, when I needed to have my moments of grief, if that was crying, if that was coloring, if that was talking to people, if that was serving others, I did it. So I just allowed myself to grieve whatever I wanted to anyway, anywhere. When I say I still was working, I would be in the office and I just let the staff know, I let my boss know, hey, there's going to be days where you just walk by and I'm crying. It's okay. You don't have to cuddle me. I'm going to get my work done, but I need to allow myself to emote as often as I need to whenever I needed to. Wow. It's made it a lot easier than having to run and hide. Yeah. That's like one of the best definitions of emotional maturity or emotional, like an advanced emotional state and also authentic. Wow. I want to get into more of that as we go, but I wanted to start with this big question too. Like so many women still stuck in a version of themselves, right, that no longer fits. But they're scared to let go of their old identities. I is reinvention, you know, as we've kind of titled this today, why is it such a hard concept for women? And what does it really mean to reinvent yourself? I think the biggest thing for women is we hold onto our old beliefs. Like the people that gave them to us is almost like an honoring. Think about it. Like if you learn something from your grandmother's grandmother and it's been passed down. So even old thoughts, old versions of you, but you kind of feel like you're honoring your people that gave it to you. So like you don't really want to, you know, go against the grain. You don't want to challenge that. And a lot of people don't think about that as an honoring part. So when I say, oh, can you honor them and honor yourself? Like are you not worth honoring too? And what does that look like to honor them to know that they gave you such a great foundation? And now you evolve. You can still hold onto some of that to honor them, but also honor yourself in the process of your transformation. Very evolving without saying, oh, I don't like my people. Are they, you know, I always say they did the best they could, but what they had? Yep. Yeah. Yep. Wow. That's a mic drop right there. I almost finished like, feel like we can just wrap it up. No, they're still so much good stuff coming. That is huge though. I mean, does that just stop your clients in their tracks when you ask that question? Yeah. Well, the biggest thing they don't even think about it being an honoring portion. Yeah. They're, they're that right there just says, oh, I couldn't really see why I didn't want to let it go. I didn't see why. And in a lot of areas, and I've coached people of all different cultures and backgrounds, like in some people, you're as communicated. Yeah. Yeah. Anything different, right? Yeah. So that can get afraid because that could happen to you. Now, what if you're not in those situations, but you still can't figure out why you wouldn't do it? And bring up the honoring part, they can kind of put one in one together and say, oh, that does make sense. However, can I honor me? What does that even look like? So then they start asking themselves that question. Well, what would it look like? Yeah. I just, what strikes me is we so often think about the stories that we're carrying of our ancestors, like its baggage, but I, so I love this reframe of, it's actually, it makes sense that it's hard to let go of because it's, it's letting part go of your sort of history, but you can honor it and also move forward in a way that serves you and creates new history for the generations to follow. Exactly. Because my thing is, if I'm teaching people how to not only honor themselves, but get some joy and pleasure in the, in between it, we were talking about women getting pleasure, when I picked about my ancestors a lot for what's, and the ones that were, remember, they had to be hidden. Yep. So if I'm out loud saying, hey, yes, 75-year-old client, you can have pleasure. And she's like, what? And I'm like, yeah, and then I'm teaching her how to do it. And then she, the younger generations under her know, yeah, history. Yep. Absolutely. Oh, I love that. So this focus on joy as a tool of intervention, not just fixing what's wrong, not just letting go, but actively seeking pleasure and fulfillment. Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. Okay. So let's talk a little bit more about pleasure since that you, we brought that word up so quickly. And it's, it already like the way we're saying it, there's an electricity around it, right? Because we know what we're talking about here. So many women, again, like you said, especially as we get older, feel like pleasure, whether it's physical, emotional, or creative is something that isn't for them anymore, right? That's for younger people. We've got to be responsible. So why, what, why do you think that is? What, why do we, as we get older, just think that's not, that's not ours anymore. We're not supposed to be feel pleasure. Like, I hate to keep going back to the same thing however, remember growing up, that's just what it was as you got older, right? You changed the style of clothes you wore, right? You took care of all the kids and then don't become a grandmother because that's what grandmother's for sure cannot have pleasure. What did you talk about? Right. How were looked at? And remember, I'm going to say back in a day because I don't think 40 is old at all. No. 45. You are old. Oh, yeah. Like 50. You are ancient. 60 you were dead. You know, when we think about the way those ages really made people feel based off of what they saw, they just mimicking what they remember. When I think about it, yeah, I'm sure you've seen these where you see the pictures of like the golden girls are the same age as the women of sex in the city. Yeah. And it's like, because again, like, and I regret it's partially how we live now. We live a healthier life. So we looked at her. But like, yeah, you looked at those women and I still I would look at any one of those four and think, Jesus, they're old. And they weren't. Yeah. Wait, every time I think when you, you, I'm so glad you brought up the golden girls because everybody is so shocked. That's one of my slides. Is it really? Talk about it. They're my age. Like, I'm 56. Just turn 56 this week. So they're my age. - Yeah. - I'm like, my family members, like I said, clients that when I tell you the their activities and what they're doing in their 70s, still thriving, back in the day that, so when you think about it, everything stopped when you hit a certain age. - I love it too, 'cause it's a rebellion. Like pleasure sounding like a rebellion against the norms, and it's such a great antidote to, you know, just to what anyone is experiencing in terms of heaviness and what's expected, like expectations or responding to the times, if you're having fun, you're harnessing some sort of power. I love it. - I love that you said pleasure as a rebellion. - Can I borrow that? - Yes. - That was, that was, might drop right there. - Oh my God, I never thought that it, but it is. And what I love about the women that I get to work with, or I just, you know, they come across my life some kind of way, is they're always peaking in, right? They start with the peak, right? (laughs) Like what was she talking about? And then when I talk about self pleasure, and then we talk about utilizing self pleasure to really get your desires met, like to get to freedom, to get that next job you want, or to go on that vacation to manifest your life, then they're like opening a curtain, and they're like, what, what, what are we talking about? And then when I talk about partner pleasure, then they're like, wait, now you're going too far. I, I can't be doing all of that. (laughs) - Why not? - Wow. - Why not? - What makes them stay the curtain? - Yeah. - It's when I tell them the statistics of what's happening in the nursing homes. - Bridges. - I'm gonna keep it real PG. And let's just say there's a lot of activities and a lot of medication have to be involved. - Yeah. - It's all happened a lot of time. - There's a high rate of STDs. - Yes, that's right. - A lot of STIs happen to them. - Which means they're doing things. - Yes. - The doctors that are, that service them, say it as well. - Why? - Yes, I have heard that. - I've seen some cool commercials about that of us, so it's very funny, but really honest ones, that's pretty cool. I also want to just point out, like we aren't even, you know, hold 20 minutes in here. And in the space of time that you talked about grief and pleasure is really intriguing to me, that there's the same body, the same experience, can allow for that. And, you know, it's making me think of this, for example, my niece, we lost my nephew unexpectedly and tragically, and they're very, very close to your brother. And, I mean, everybody has been in lots of pain and watching her go through this experience where she's expressing so much grief, so openly and beautifully with her writing, she's also surfing every morning. And, you know, and like, going to start to be carnival where she lives right now in Brazil and like going to these things. And I love that she's just on all extremes of this experience for herself, that she is seeking out the pleasure experiences that they were gonna have while she was there visiting, they were gonna go do these fun things together. And she's also just letting the pain rip. And hearing you say that just makes me think of her for some reason, like that it's possible to be in a very painful experience of grief and really prioritize pleasure as part of it. Is that what I'm hearing here? - It's the end. What you said, it's the way you said it and, 'cause a lot of times people put grief in this box and then they hold it there. And they never wanna let it go. And they like to compartmentalize it to only be one, but it's not that, it's all over in your life. And that's when I think about women reinventing themselves where they were so used to being linear. And it's like, you're like never really was that if you think about it. So why wouldn't you be okay would allow it to spike to do something different right now? - And I've seen other people feel too guilty having fun. - Yeah. - When they're supposed to be sad. - Yeah. - Somebody told them that that's what grief looks like. But in reality, nobody was taught how to grieve, really. Like we just wasn't. And we wasn't taught it. And nobody teaches kids anything about grief. So all of a sudden at some point in their life, somebody passes away. But what's a little bit different nowadays because we all have access to TV and social media. So we're seeing death happen so rapidly to so many other people that were not like that close to, it was not just your family, but you're filling it a lot sooner than when you were younger. At least I would say for my age and your age is for sure. - Yeah, yeah. - So pleasure is an elevation. It can bring you to the surface if you're really underwater. But it can also like really light you up and like bring you to the next level. So how do you help women connect to that more? - The biggest thing is like you said the allowing. Like first allow. The other one that one of the, it's crazy, it's gonna sound so simple. But I asked them, when was the last time you had a dream? And when was the last time you captured your dream? And they don't, they're dreaming. Like no, I have to go to work and I have to do this. I'm gonna clean and I'm like, yeah, but what are you gonna do after that's over? Or are you gonna wait until you retire to enjoy life? Well, you know, I go to the Christmas parties and we do the Easter and come with the kids. I said, well, what are you doing for you outside of everybody else? And so when I start to connect them having an individual human experience, then that's when they can even think about pleasure. But it takes a while to get them out of, hey, I'm for everybody and not for myself. And I'm like, when was the last time you colored your hair a different color? - I love these questions. - I know. - It's awesome. It's such a state change, right? How can I snap you out of this neuro pathway into a brand new one? - Yes. - I love it. - But I tell you, it really is that. It's like, we are so conditioned and it's nothing wrong with our brain, of course. It wants us to be safe. I get it. - Brain, but you know I'm not gonna be there. So don't want a bandwagon if I'm having on the orange shirt today and maybe I'll have apricot hair tomorrow. It's fine. Everything's gonna be okay. But like, literally, it's that quick shift, like you said, the question for the quick shift to take you out of, oh, I'm so used to being here. Then what if I, oh, I've never thought about that, but then keeping you there. - Yeah. - Right? - Yeah. - Again, I mean, this just speaks exactly to why we have the retreats. Because our best chapter yet retreats are all based on, your best is still in front of you, no matter how old you are. You know, our listeners know you and I had this conversation when we met, like, we thought this was gonna be a pod for women of a certain age. But our listeners are as young as in their 20s. Our retreat participants are anywhere from their late 20s to their 70s. And each one, and that's what's so fun about these retreats is each one of them shows up with their, the thing they want to accomplish. And they feed and off of each other and support each other and lift each other up. And it's just glorious to watch it unfold. And you get to do this as your job. Do you, are you just like in heaven every day? - My daughter, she, I love her to life. She knows when I'm, like, coaching, right? So she knows when I'm not doing administrative work. 'Cause after I finish and I never go right into another one, I always take a break and I'd be like, "Really, look, there's like, I get super excited." Now don't be, look, there's such a tragedy. But because I can see my clients breaking through for themselves, like just watching it evolve and them unfold. Like that selfie trail when comes up so much because nobody sees it, is that? - Right. - They know that that's what they're doing. They're just like, "Oh, I'm just doing this, I'm just living." And then when I see them get it and be like, "Ah-ha." And it's their own, "Ah-ha, I'm just having walked through it." - Oh, yeah. - I'm excited. - And then they get it. And I'm like, "Oh, this is amazing." - Yeah, it is. Okay, so let's talk about this one. This one's kind of big as well. What do we do? Now, so now you've had this conversation and all of a sudden your client or our retreat participants are sort of like, "Oh crap, I do want something. I do desire something more in my life." But it contradicts those old beliefs that they've been holding on to for safety, for generations, whatever it might be. Like, maybe it's a new career, maybe it's a new relationship, or just even a shift in how we see ourselves. Like, how do you help them navigate that internal conflict between like, "Oh, shit, I want this." And the important part, I always believe house people is first, right now, what is going to happen? Right, so really bringing those fears to the table. That's like, wow, I'm like, I don't let them go away and do that one, because I want them to be able to have it right here so that we can work through it. So what is that fear? Like, what is the thing that you are afraid of is gonna happen if, 'cause you said it, and I love that you mentioned it, safety. Like, there's so much levels of safety [BLANK_AUDIO] people don't realize, it's not just like you get hit by a car, but you're like, you'll say, right, right? It's not just a physical safety. It's like everything that your financial safety, like everything, what do you think is going to happen? So let's bring those fears up first, because if you can identify them, then we can go find something to put in place of that. Yeah. But if we don't identify first, then guess what? We're going to keep just saying, I don't know what I want to do it, or we're going to be afraid. Yeah. I imagine there's a lot of unlearning that has to happen. You know, like if we've been told for decades that wanting more selfish, you can't just flip a switch or you can, but like as we know as coaches, there's a lot of that unlearning that has to be done before that shift can happen. And sometimes that shift can happen fast. If you've been doing the work of unpacking and unlearning, right? The unlearning thing, like that word, when it came to me, when it was brought to me about me unlearning the belief I had about myself, it told my coach, I was like, wait a minute. But obviously, I worked on one of my unlearning things for a year with my coach. Like we coached on other stuff, but that one thing came up for an entire year. Until it finally hit. So yes, it can take a while. The biggest thing is always putting something in place. So if you know, I would say to myself, if I know that this is the way that I'm going to respond to a situation, and I don't want to do that anymore, that I need to find something to put in place for it. Because when it come up, and it will, guarantee it will, did I create something in my mind as I go to? Did I create that new neural pathway, like you said, to say, yes, this is going to happen. However, when it does, this is what I'm going to do about it. So it's like, give them my brain boundaries. Like we found these other people, but you give yourself boundaries, right? So I give my brain boundaries. No, we are not going back there. We are going to eat here. We don't want to go back with this time. We're going forward. It reminds me of like having, when you have a habit you want to break, you need to have a habit that scratches that same itch, right? It's just that same concept. Exactly. I don't say habit because I have to share this. I don't really think about how to stay one of right, right? So this is the parallel coaching that I do with my clients. So we do talk about the fears of things we don't want anymore, unlearning, changing belief systems. However, I always ask them to come to me with five things that you love that you do. And I want you to use the habit tracker. So I have a journal called the gym journal, and it has a habit tracker. And I want you to write in your habit tracker something you want to continue to do every day that you love. Like what's any motion that you feel, and I want you to do something every day to keep feeling that while you're going through all it is, right? So you're always going to be feeling some type of joy, happiness, peace, being ecstatic, whatever that is while we're working through some really heavy stuff, but your habit every day is feeling something good. And a lot of people talk about so much about especially in my space of when they want to undo something or start. But I don't want you to just work there because eventually we're going to joy. Yeah. So let's let's build that up every day. So yeah, love a good habit tracker. I love that. Oh my god, that's so good. All right, so we keep talking about self-patrial. I get to ask the juicy question, what does self-patrial look like in our daily lives? Oh, honey. Yeah, who is exactly right? It's so good. One of my favorite stories on self-patrial is I kept telling myself that I was going to stop working for this company because I was overworking and I couldn't see my kids. But the money was great. But then my body started feeling. And I still kept doing it because the money was great, but I still didn't see my kids. All right. And so I just kept doing something for others, but I was betraying who I really wanted to be. Yeah. I was betraying myself, but not even giving me what I desired. So that's a one reason of financial safety. Yeah. But my emotional safety was not there. My physical safety wasn't there. My heart started falling out. That wasn't great. And I was in my early thirties. And I was just experiencing all these things because my body really was trying to tell me, do the thing that you said you were going to do. Can you have your own? Think about betraying others, but not necessarily us. Yeah. And there's, you know, I've had these conversations before. I've never thought of it. I've never used the word betrayal, but that's exactly right. I talk about, and I think we've been talked about on the pods. When you let yourself down, you break your own confidence. And so when somebody's like, I'm just not confident. One of my questions is like, how many times have you said you were going to do this? And then, and I always use the very simple example of a diet, right? Like, oh, I'm going to start my diet on Monday. And then on Monday, you do good breakfast, maybe lunch, and then something goes awry, right? And you think, oh, well, nobody knew I was going to start that diet. It's just me. Nobody, nobody even knows. Well, you're letting yourself down. You're breaking your own confidence. And if you were doing that to a friend, a friend would stop asking you to help them because you will have let them down. You would have broken their confidence. And so getting through the self betrayal is is going to be a confidence booster right out of the gate. So that alone can help in the reinvention piece of this. I just refer to that thing. You just describe what they said. It's like, you don't get a flat tire and pull over and then like pull over and slash your other three tires. Right. Yeah. So why would you do that to yourself? Although, I will say, this whole idea that you just described is I think really hard because I'm thinking about how also not going for something because you're, you know, you're afraid to is betraying yourself. It's like really like not listening to that big idea, that big desire or that next level and, you know, staying in your way is a self betrayal. So once we recognize it, how do we start shifting out of it? Okay, I had to write down something you said. It was juicy. It was, it was, it was, it was, it was yummy. I was like, oh, she just gave me some, I love it. I feel like we're all going to be using each other's stuff and our coaching going for it. I know. I know. It's so good. Like, I like, carry said. Um, so, so once you recognize it, right? So there's going to be a part of apathy that's going to go there, right? You're going to be like apathetic that like, oh my gosh, I can think about all these times in my life, especially depending on how many decades you live, right? So us that have lived several decades, we start thinking about different things of like, oh, these are the ways I had been doing it. Um, but the thing is the forgiveness piece, right? Are you jumping to your forgiveness of yourself? And then you ask yourself what do you want? Okay, so it's, it's, it's, people don't realize how much forgiveness of yourself. Oh my gosh, I can free you just, just doing that alone. Just not even if you don't have another big huge idea or a plan, just to go and say, oh, I love you and I forgive you and we're going to be all right. And you did the best you could with what you had. How I know I, I, I use that idea a lot like when I'm talking to clients around like, it sounds to me like there might be some forgiveness that you need towards yourself. And I can almost, many times I feel like a wall just goes, like that just, that freaks them out, the idea of forgiveness of themselves. Do you run up against that? How do you work around that? So I have a script. Okay, I'm not forgiveness. And so it's a little excuse me, I'm walking through the script. Okay, you have to me just like you would if you were referring out to the teacher. And then we write it out. Nice, right? Yeah. And then we say it again. And then there work to do by the time they come back to me is to come back with more words and write their own script. Because when they throw the wall up, I already can see, like you said, the glassy, I go, yeah. I don't know. What do you mean, forgive myself? You know, all of the backlash. And again, I can see it in their brains just working. And so I just, let's just talk about it. And then I go into the script and then they're like, oh, she's she's supposed to be, she's making me forget myself. And it works against them. It's like it's sometimes they just need them little push to say, oh, this isn't hard. You know, when you get an assignment, I know back when I was in my master's program. And I would get an assignment. And it takes me a while to think through like, what about versus like if somebody just give me just a little bit, that little sample, the clip note, then I'm like, oh. And so that gives them just a little bit to start working with. And then they, but there are some people that don't want to do, forget this. And then they can no longer be my client. Because yeah, I mean, you can have your money back. It's okay. Yeah. Yeah. Because I want to see you. Right. We're going down. And as a coach, now, if I was a therapist, but like as a coach, that's my whole, it's the whole reason you're working with me is to see you with them. So yeah, I'm a hard ball when it comes to that. We don't, where are you going to be? when and are we gonna be leaving each other alone? - Yeah, now I feel bad, I get that. Okay, so let's get practical. I mean, this is amazing. So, we've got listeners and for sure, I mean, we have people tell us that they are constantly talking back to the pod. And going like, "Oh, you know that's me, right?" So, there is definitely somebody right now listening and going, "Yes, I need this." But where do I start? So, what would be your first steps to reinvention? My first steps to reinvention, first is to identify that you wanna do something different. So, whether that's, you know, writing down a dream, like dreaming big, what is it that I want? You know, we always say that and then add some more. And then add some. Oh, so you want a Tesla? Well, what kind, what color? Are you gonna have special paint? Is it gonna have a plates that's yours? Are you like personalized, like you want more? So just dreaming big first and then deciding after you know what you want, then you have to create some movement. And so movement just means one action. What are you gonna do tomorrow to go towards that vein? And it doesn't have to be anything big. Sometimes it's just to go by replica of the car you want. And then go by that one. This is great because I feel like what people need to hear. And it's important for Lisa and I too, I think sometimes 'cause we're like, you want to change the world all the time, right? It's not about one massive leap is what you're saying, right? It's about choosing yourself in small intentional ways every day. And I love that 'cause I think about this particular retreat this week that when this hits will be this week is plot twist. And a plot twist doesn't literally have to be like waking up in a different land with a different name. Like it really can be I'm doing things differently and this is the first step on the way there. And this is telling me that I'm in that. I'm in the beginning of this plot twist. And I, so I love that. It's not, it's just, if you can commit to something and you're choosing yourself in small ways, you're gonna experience that shift. And when you start doing that, then it becomes part of your natural person. Yeah. That's it. Like when you do the one thing you change and then before you know it, something else you're doing differently. And you don't even recognize it first. But the people around you, they'll start noticing. They'll start picking it out. And then they'll be like, what are you doing? You seem so much more happier. Yeah. I mean, as coaches, we all know this, right? Like it, when you humans wanted to be overnight, they want it to be this big massive shift. But that is not sustainable. It's the small baby steps one foot in front of the other that makes it, as you said, part of just your being, right? There's a paradigm, I'm sure you've heard as well, we want our clients to be different without having to think about being different. Yeah. And that, that's success. And sometimes it takes the reflection of other people because it's so small and sustainable that they don't really understand that, oh, shoot, I have actually twisted. I've done a plot twist in my life. So it's nice to have a coach or just love ones around you who are reflecting it back to you. Being alone is one of those things. If you ever notice somebody start to become reclused, it's because they don't want anybody to tell them anything whether it's good or bad. - Huh? - Yeah. - So I always like to mention that is like if you start noticing yourself, pull away. Ask yourself why? What do you not want other people to see or know? Or notice, right? Because I love being around people and congratulating them, because I can see it. - Right. - See every little thing, even if I'm not trying so I'm not like not studying them, but I'm like, oh my gosh, look at you. Do you do something to your hair? Just like that, they're like, I didn't even notice nobody. Wouldn't that? But you chase 'cause some people aren't saying earrings every day. Oh, no, it is. It's just been fun. I enjoy that, but I also love when people give it back to me. - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, love it. - And before we wrap up and move into your song, is there anything else you'd like to sort of add that we maybe haven't touched base on yet today? - This has been glorious. - This has been fun. - Yeah. - I want to always encourage people that if you feel like you're in a state of stagnation or stuck in all the leaf systems that you don't want anymore, it's okay to honor your people and honor yourself. - I do feel like that is the takeaway quite frankly. This honoring piece is just, I've just never thought of it that way and it does, it lends a softness to what again, what we normally think of as being like limiting beliefs sounds so hard, right? And when you say it's an honoring, it just, it's like, it's just soft and manageable and feels warm versus cold and just connecting, you know? So that's my takeaway for sure. - I would love to just go full circle back to the beginning where we were learning about you and just, I mean, for people watching this, you can feel your energy and evervestance. But like, what support do you get for yourself? Like do you seek out for yourself? How do you refuel all that you're giving out? - Ooh, Heidi, so I definitely want to know people that is into grounding. So I live in the desert, but I go find grass. So I'm the person that's gonna put my feet in the grass to ground. I like to spend a lot of time with Monet, like we just hang out, we're really good friends. We laugh at each other. We look at old videos with us talking. We go look at pictures, tons of selfies with her. Like we just really hang out. And then I, I love the water. Hmm, though you're gonna catch me on a beach. You're gonna catch me at somebody's pool or I'm gonna be at the jacuzzi. I'm gonna be somewhere near some water and that's my refueling. Just that, just, I love the fluidity of water. It just helps me flow. And I guess I just, I'm a flow girl. So whether I'm grounded or I'm flowing or laughing 'cause I'm gonna do that, that's always gonna bring me back full circle. - Amazing. - So good. All right, so you picked level up by Sarah. Tell us why. - Okay, so, one, I dance to Monet. We just hang out dance. We don't let other people see us do it. - I bet you're putting a dancer. So other people probably shouldn't see it. The joy. - But I love the fact that energy of that song, but also the lyrics, whenever I'm thinking about doing something different. Oftentimes I've wanted to run and hide. I'm not gonna lie. It's hard. Like it really, my body goes into it. Like oh, we're changing again. It's like, it doesn't love it. - Right. - But it knows the end result is gonna be good, but it doesn't love it. But that song, I can pull it up, put it on. And I can feel the rhythm of like no, doing something different is good. And then me and my affirmations, we start talking. And then we start dancing. But in our lyrics, she talk about not being afraid to go to the next step, not being afraid to level up, not being afraid to let others see you do something different, not being afraid to, even though I said that I was gonna be doing this a year later, I changed my mind. And I'm gonna be doing something else. So just being able to be completely open and going to the next level, it just reminds me of just like powering up. Like here we go, going to the next level. All right. And so I don't know how old I really am because I've leveled up so much. - I love it. - Yeah. - This is like a badass female video game or something. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's so good. It's like listening to you like step up, clean your space, own your next chapter. - Clean. (laughing) - I love it. - When I'm doing it, that's exactly what it feels like. - I love it. - Oh my God, I love it so much. I knew again, going back to us being on that pod together, luckily there were other people, so we didn't have to pay 100% attention. No offense, Nima. But it was a great pod. I highly recommend Outliers Edge, really a good pod. But I knew from the minute you opened your mouth that you were such a fucking badass. And I am so honored and grateful that you said yes to be in on this pod because this has blown away my expectations of what this conversation was gonna be like. So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. - Yes, I wanna do that. And might I add that we were feeling pretty low about the world and you have completely elevated our moods. I can just feel it. - Totally. - So thank you. - Totally. - Wow, to say he was like the best medicine today. - For anyone who's listening who is ready to start their re-invention journey and you're just so intrigued by this energy, I think you should run that walk to [email protected]. So it's spelled out, it's all one word, and you'll find the link in our show notes. - Check out her podcast too, called Grow the Hell Up. I love that. - Growth is a growth, the hell up. - A growth, sorry, I read it too fast. - Growth, the hell up is even better, that's awesome. - Oh my God. And yes, please, if this is sending the electric vibes through you, the way it is, me right now, I mean, Carrie, you're exactly right. We have been so low all day and this has just completely shifted my mood. So please just share this with a friend. Reach out to Monet, like you run, don't walk, absolutely. Thank you so much for being on. - Thank you, both. There's like, I got it back to you. It wasn't, so even if you were low, what you gave me was not low. So I appreciate your energies as well. - Well, thank you. You're welcome. - This is my women, this is my women need to be together. I mean, we really wanted to hit. - Absolutely. - Yeah, and I don't think this is gonna be the last time you're on this pod. Let's just, let's just be super clear on that. (laughs) - All right, everyone, thanks as always for listening and we will be back next week.