reFresh Tradition

Eliminate the workplace excuse. That's what leaders do. This is the Career Blind Spot podcast. Courtney, today's CBQ, why are there white Christmas trees in our bedroom and the kids? Well, I was going for a Palm Springs-beamed Christmas and nothing says Palm Springs like white Christmas trees. I've wanted to do that for years when we had kids. I decided I was going to do that. And this year, now it's Corus first. Holiday season, we all got trees. Okay, so why why did having kids finally kind of get you over the home? Because I didn't want just one. We've had the bedrooms here. We don't have the kids. So we don't have the kids. It makes it more fun. They get to decorate their own trees at some point. Right now, Conan's tree is decked out in dinosaurs and only red Christmas balls because only red. You see how much trees. He's got a red thing. Originally, I was going to have jokingly ask you, do you believe in God? But then tease another episode. But it's Christmas next week. And we've been, I want to say, hit or miss, but up and down when it comes to celebrate. We've been 10 years in this house. 10 years ago, actually, wow, what a couple of weeks ago, was there 10 year anniversary in this house. And we barely had any furniture that wasn't from a trash can. That's not a joke. And we still had our first Christmas. We were going to take tables out of moving boxes with your tablecloth. Yeah, it was before DIY really blew up. I don't know maybe. But my point being that we had a Christmas Eve party because it was a big deal to you. Yes. And it was really good. But before we get into the later, because we're not having it this year, why wasn't a big deal to you? There was a big deal because my grandma hosted it my entire childhood. And it was the first time that like I had gone to a party where I was involved because she let me like count numbers of people that were there. So they could play white elephant and then hand out the white elephant ticket numbers and a little hat. And for those who don't know what white elephant is, depending on where you're from, it's where you bring it get. There's usually a dollar limit like 10 bucks, 20 bucks, 50 bucks. And then you wrap it, people don't know what it is except for you. But then you do a game where you get the present open in front of everyone. People can steal it. It's fun. It's just an excuse to. It's capitalism at its finest. And it's a great way to regift. Yeah. And so we did that a couple years. And in the last 10 years outside of the pandemic and stuff, we had what seven or eight. Yeah. And like four of them were really awesome. And yeah, there's like terrible. But there were a lot of work for like, oh, that's it. And it's over. Yeah. And so not just this is not Christmas. Actually, if anything, it's like, why wait till Christmas? Like, I mean, one, Courtney is very, I don't say you have good taste. I mean, you do have good taste, but you're creative. You'll just. Thank you for that. Yeah. But you'll like do funky stuff. And I don't love all of it. Oh, no, it's not your aesthetic, but I love that you love that I love it. But in the same way of like decorating or people wait what once a year, maybe a birthday to get gifts. And I have been a butt head and be like, I don't want gifts or I don't tell people it's my birthday. And yeah, we talked about that. He's been a butt head. Go ahead. Ben still am. But I as we, because it was a year ago, we decided, or I was like, no, Christmas Eve. Yeah. And it's not so much the party. It's the effort that goes into, you know, anyone who's the own and hosted. And people don't help you put away the dishes and stuff. Like, we feel, we feel for you. And Courtney does put a lot into it. But I'm just like, I don't want to do that. I think last year being pregnant while I was doing it, I was like, no more. I'm too big. Yeah. As much as both of us are not very traditional in the classic sense, but also in the assessment, both of us want things to look forward to, which are traditions. But we don't want to be, be holding to traditions that feel like obligations. And yet we do want traditions. So it's like, we're being brats, if you will. No, I think we'll. That's our dog. He says hello. Both of us, I wouldn't say our being brats. Well, I guess we like to make our own traditions as weddings. We don't want to just do the same thing because everybody else does it. But we do want to have our own traditions that actually mean something to them. But I think that it's the intention or I mean, it's a thought that counts. But I think even people who do like traditions often feel obligated, you know, you do want to be around your family or go to church or whatever it is. But I'm doing this or we're doing this episode. I wanted to put this out the week because it's like, at least when you're an adult, when you're a kid, you got to do what your parents say to a degree. But also participating. That was a memory you've had for a long time. And as a kid, I remember, you know, we my parents always got us great toys, but they are presents, I should say. But they worked. You still get toys. I just remember my mom always doing overtime and just being like, and this isn't like my mom wasn't around. But when she did it was home, she was exhausted, but she was putting all this overtime in the post office and both parents are retired. But it was kind of boring in terms of an event. And I realized until recently, I'm like, oh, I always think of Christmas as like even day. Yeah. And there's other people who are like, they celebrate their birthday the entire month. And I'm like, but I'm also like, you know, I'm good for you. And that's what I really like. We can do that. There's things we don't want to do. But it's avoiding something I think is a start, but really leaning into celebration. That's something I asked when I coach people. A lot of people don't celebrate themselves as much or celebrate the things they care about as much as they celebrate the things they should care about. I don't know. I just, I feel like we could actually all get bet. It's like self-care. Okay. I think people know what it is. Or I should say have heard of it. I don't people really know what they do. They do not. Yeah. I don't I don't think they do. And not to open a whole other can. But like you've don't want our kids to believe in Santa Claus. Is that fair? Somewhat. Yes. I want them to know that Santa is a real person because they don't want them to ruin it for anybody else. Or not that he's a real person. I want them to know who Santa is. So they can have conversations with other kids at school who do believe in Santa. But I heard someone say that they taught their kids at Santa's like Spiderman like a superhero that just happens to come around once a year so that they know it's not really real but they still can have fun with it. Yeah. And I think where originally it was like we don't want to lie to our kids. And I'm like, I'm going to lie anyway. But now I see where you're coming from. But I think that's the thing. It's the stop and think like what do we want to do? I feel like Thanksgiving gets a bad wrap for a lot of people. Or for a lot of people it's like whether you're cooking it or not. I'm not saying everyone. And hell if you have a nice Thanksgiving video. Looking for something to do because we don't want to host. But all these traditions as adults and we're busy and we're tired and then you do it. You go back now. If you know you maybe you feel sad for me. And that's good because that means you have a nice time. But if you're anything like me it's like there's something to be desired. And this episode is just permission to like eff around and find out. Get your white Christmas tree. I took my son to or our son my son to the zoo lights recently. And that was something I'm like I'm not going to spend money. It was fun. It was for him. And funny enough you know we have a almost three year old and a nine month old. And both of us realize like they're not going to remember any of this. Nope. But we are. Yeah. So we're going to be selfish parents and do what the hell we want. Yeah. And so far it's been pretty fun. The other Christmas have been great. But this is already like it feels like a season to us. Yeah. Which I kind of feel like oh this this probably what everyone else does. But I don't think so. I think a lot of us are busy working. We get off. We have you know lucky to have a day or two off more smarter or at least why is our companies are giving the whole week off between the holiday. But it's going to be over before you know it. The question is you know where you present for all of it. And that's a big part of where you intention also call the action. Any holiday advice. Not just Christmas. Guanzas shout out. A Hanukkah is it already. I don't know. I think it's still going on. And even New Year's we already have we don't usually do anything for New Year's. Even on my my club and nightlife days I never went out on New Year's and we're actually going to do something that Corpney New Year's Eve. Ballon told me to do which I'm looking forward to. Hey it is from 9 a.m. until noon on New Year's Eve. And then we're done. So holiday call to action. Oh holiday call to action. If you have kids ask them what they would add on to one of your ideas. I'm taking Conan socks skating today and I said what else would you like to do? And he said don't that. So we're getting donuts. What if you don't have kids? Because you ask your inner child what would you like? I mean you're you're old yourself weighted until you had kids. I would imagine a lot of people either don't have little kids but like what would you in general just in general yeah make your own traditions. Like I'm so thankful that we went out of town for Thanksgiving because it was what we wanted to do and it made us happy and it was really nice. Yeah I think that's it can experiment. Corpney's set on we're always going to do this and I'm like okay. Not in the same spot like we're always the right way. As kids get older you know they don't eat for free or they're ticket you know and some way I don't really want to go as you lines it out. My point is try it. What was that? It was the alien inside of me but try it but also things are going to change when our kids hate us in you know 10 years. We might not want them in the house. Speak for yourself. I want me an angsty teen flaming doors. No you don't. No you don't. Stop lying about that. I do. No you don't. I want to laugh. We're going to play this episode for her which she's crying because our kids don't like her. We'll see you for the next one. I make this show for leaders. Those who don't point fingers but point towards ways they can do better at work. My ask for listening is you share the show on social and/or with other leaders established or aspiring. Until then, no talent, no culture, no excuses.