Reflecting Pools and Construction Zones

[MUSIC] >> From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me. The NPR news quiz. I'm a household name, as long as you're in my household. I'm Alzo Slade, and here's your host at the Studebrick and Theatre, at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois. Peter Sego! >> Thank you, Alzo! Thank you! Thank you, everybody. You've got a great show today. Later on, we're going to be talking to Indy, Rock, Icon, Stephen Malcolm, as leader of the band, Pavement. But first, we want to congratulate Alzo Slade on his first month as our official judge and score keeper. That means he has lasted longer in the job than five British Prime Ministers. [APPLAUSE] But you never know what might happen. See, a better call before there's a vote of no confidence. The number is 1,888, Weight, Weight. That's 1,888, 924, 89, 24. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, everyone, Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me. >> Hi. >> This is David from Brooklyn. >> Hey, David from Brooklyn. Can you differentiate yourself? There are a lot of David's in Brooklyn. >> Well, father, two, run, two, have marathon, and I can see Barclay Center from my house. >> Whoa! >> That'll really narrow it down there. >> No, it doesn't at all. Yeah. >> Marathonin, dad in Brooklyn. Yeah, no. [LAUGHTER] >> Well, David, it is nice to have you on the show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, she's a comedian whose new stand-up special, What's Her Secret, is now available on YouTube. It's Emmy Blotnik. >> Hello. [APPLAUSE] >> Next, she's a comedian whose special love joy is on Peacock and whose album, "Yell Joy," is on blonde medicine. It's Joy El Nicole Johnson. >> What up, David? [APPLAUSE] >> And making his debut on our panel, it's a comedian and host of the downside podcast on Vox. You can see his comedy special, "Thee of Joy," on YouTube as well. It's GianMarco Surrezi. [APPLAUSE] >> Hello, hello, hello. >> David, welcome to the show. You're going to play. Who's Alzo this time, Alzo Slade is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose for your voice, Mel. You ready to go? >> I'm ready to go and Alzo, congratulations on one month. You are feeling very big shoes at a very big like turn. >> I like this guy. >> Yeah. >> I like this guy. >> Yeah. >> David, you've got three out of three already. >> Yeah. >> Well played, sir. >> Well played. >> Well played. >> All right. Your first quote is from a White House spokesperson speaking on Tuesday about a body of water gun completely green with algae. >> The pool is clear and reflecting beautifully. >> What pool was she talking about? >> She's talking about the reflecting pool. >> Yes, the reflecting pool on the national mall. In May, the president announced he'd be renovating the reflecting pool, quote, "a head of schedule." And just a month later, it is a fetid mass filled with algae, floating debris, and a few dead ducks. But to be fair, it is a head of schedule. Trump said the pool had actually been damaged by vandals with knives, quote, "probably in the dark of night," unquote. And do you know how bad a lie is that even Donald Trump used the word "probably"? >> I'm sure you guys have been following this national drama with rap detention. >> Yeah, I don't know. The dead ducks, it kind of feels like the new Groundhog's day. Like, if you find a dead duck around the pool, that means four more years of Trump. >> Oh, God. >> Yes. >> It's funny that he said it was damaged by vandals when there's like video that they drove the motorcade? >> Yes, this is actually true. >> Yeah. >> And as empty, he had his motorcade, which as you know, he's the president. It's a huge thing. Drive into the reflecting pool and down the empty bottom and out. >> Yeah. >> I think he should do it while it's full. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> The damage to the reflecting pool after this renovation includes holes, cracks, peeling caulk, and the seams, and long sheets of the supposedly waterproof bottom coating floating to the surface. At the end of the week, this is true. With all these people coming to gawk at the damage, they just fenced off the entire thing. So nobody can see what they're doing to it now. You know we are going to end up with the nation's first above ground reflecting pool. [laughter] >> I don't want to disrespect people who repair pools, but I kind of feel like I could have done a better job. >> Yes. >> Like just as a person, common sense, is it that hard? >> Apparently. >> It feels like they also haven't addressed the leaky pipes. They went straight to the paint job. >> Right. >> What about the pipes? >> There you go. You see right now you are now qualified. >> Exactly. [laughter] >> Exactly. >> And the algae, which is just blooming like it's nobody's business, it's unsightly, it might as I said, might be killing the ducks, but on the other hand, RFK Jr. needs it to survive. [laughter] All right. David here is your next quoted as from a sports fan. The hydration breaks are BS, but I can give my beers. >> That fan was one of many people excited to make a run for the concessions during the new hydration breaks during what big sporting events. >> The World Cup, and I bet it was probably a Scottish fan because they drank Boston and every other city dry. >> As we were right, we've discussed that last week. Yeah. [applause] Therefore, it is the World Cup. One thing soccer fans have always been proud of is that their game has no timeout. It is just 90 continuous minutes of absolutely nothing happening. But for this year's World Cup, supposedly in response to fears about high temperatures, FIFA has for the first time introduced hydration breaks. A three minute pause in each half where all the players' mothers run out and give them orange slices. I'm not a soccer fan at all, but now I call it football because I'm a British person. But I am a fan of men who don't skip leg day. So I have a chick. You got -- y'all better not skip leg day. John Markle got his games out right now on the table. >> I do. I do. I don't -- I guess we should have these breaks. I don't know why they don't call them water breaks. The theater we call them intermissions. >> Yes. >> And I think they're wonderful. It's -- they have to run so much in soccer. That's like -- and they have to hit the ball with their head. I would need a break. >> As you can tell, this is the least athletic panel that's ever been on the show, which is saying something. >> Do you ever hear the sound of a ball hitting the goalie's hand? You just want to go like, "Ow!" Imagine a ball hitting your hand like that. >> Well, that's why they wear the big Mickey Mouse gloves, right? >> I don't even know. >> You don't know. >> Well, I should let you know, since you're not my besokker purists hate this change, everybody is saying these so-called hydration breaks are really just about giving TV another place to sell some ads, which FIFA said, "No, we just want our players to hydrate with a cool, refreshing taste of Miller Light." But if they're making changes for the American World Cup, why don't think bigger? 15 minutes at the end, where everybody's allowed to use their hands. >> I didn't know you couldn't use your hands. >> All right. >> He's cold. >> All right. >> Joel, there is nothing wrong in that being a sports fan. >> So you're just looking at legs the whole time? >> Yeah, true. >> I'm not just looking at legs. I was also looking at butts. [ Laughter ] >> All right. David, here's your last quote. It's about a guy who made headlines just for moving a podium this week. He's the only one at Downing Street whose approval rating is rising. >> That man has become famous because one, he's hot. And two, he comes out to set up the podium whenever who announces their resignation. >> Well, it's really sad that he's more attractive than Kira Starma, but it's podium guy. >> Yeah, it's the podium guy, you know about him, but of course, he's the guy who shows up to put up the podium whenever a British Prime Minister resigns, which this week it was Kira Starma. Yes, the premiere of the world's fifth largest economy resigned this week, but all anybody can talk about is hot podium guy. Even New York Times, there's a big story about it. That's right, there have been so many resignations of British Prime Ministers in the last few years that the hot guy who sets up for the resignation speech has become a celebrity. [ Laughter ] In fact, it is possible that the UK keeps running through new Prime Ministers because they just want to see more of this guy. You know it's crazy, though, because I've been living in London, and I can tell you guys this, that a British Tandas like an American six or best. [ Laughter ] I don't know, go look this guy up. It's easy to be hot next to Boris Johnson, you know? >> That's true. [ Laughter ] >> I also had to David do in our quiz. >> Thank you, David. >> Thank you, David. >> Thank you, David. >> Thank you, David. >> Thanks for playing. >> Thank you, thank you. >> Bye-bye. [ Music ] >> Right now, a panel time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. So, after the TSA kept stopping international travelers trying to bring it home in their carry-ons, craft has introduced, quote, TSA compliant three ounce bottles of what? Something disgusting. It was like cottage cheese or something. No, it's the thing that all the European tourists, foreign tourists have decided is the best thing about American cuisine. What is the best thing about American cuisine? Okay, craft. Craft makes. Cheese. I'll give you a hint. This is even true if you're traveling home. They'll take it away from you, even if you're traveling home to the hidden valley. It'll ranch dressing. Ranch dressing. Wow. You've been in Europe, so you've missed this. All the tourists are going nuts for ranch dressing. The soccer players drink it on their brakes. It's crazy. I know. They make in travel-sized ranch dressing. Craft is announced, travel-sized bottles of ranch dressing to go through TSA because people are like, "Oh my God, this American delicacy "and they're buying bottles to bring home." But the TSA keeps confiscating the ranch dressing from passengers because technically it's a liquid and you can't have that much liquid. Imagine you're in that situation and you just do what you always do when you have a bottle of water in the TSA lane. You just blow up, chug it. This is getting grutter. You've got a new stick on it. This is lotion. Yeah, maybe. But imagine being a kid in Europe would to stay home when your dad went to see the World Cup in America and he comes home. And you're like, "What'd you bring home from your trip? "I hope it's a thick dairy product." I want to know what is going to happen, though, with all the seized ranch dressing at the TSA checkpoints. Like this 4th of July, some TSA agent is planning on whipping up a few thousand hut wings and then using a swimming pool as a dipping bowl. (audience laughs) It would have more reflecting capacity. Yes, that's true. (audience laughs) (upbeat music) ♪ There's no way going without you ♪ ♪ So my thoughts are about you ♪ ♪ I'm flying through every time I'm full ♪ ♪ Just try and just find you ♪ Coming up our panelist step right up to our Blast the Listener game called One Triple Eight. Wait, wait to play. We'll be back in a minute with more. Wait, wait, don't tell me. From NPR. (upbeat music) From NPR and WB Easy Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. The NPR news quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with John Marcos Saraci, Joel Nicole Johnson and Emmy Blotnik. And here again is your host at the Student Bigger Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sego. Thank you, Alzo. (audience applauds) Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game called One Triple Eight. Wait, wait, wait to play our game in the air. Hi, you were on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Glenn, calling from West Lafayette, Indiana. Well, that's fabulous. What do you do there in West Lafayette? I just finished my PhD and my side-hoppy lately has been planning my wedding, which is this weekend. Oh my gosh. This weekend. That's so exciting. What are you doing talking to us? Shouldn't you be, I don't know, planning things, talking to your bridesmaids, freaking out. I mean, this is, this is your record. Thank God it handled, it's all planned. Wow. (audience laughs) Well, mazel tough to you, but it is great to have you with us to play our games. You're gonna play, in fact, the game where you have to tell truth from fiction. Alzo, what is Glenn's topic? Glenn, come on down. Game shows, of course, those most revered and important programs that run for years, famously, always with handsome hosts sporting beautiful, full heads of hair. (audience laughs) Well, this week we heard a really amazing story that came from the world of game shows. Our panelists are gonna tell you about it. Pick the real one and you'll get the weight-weighter of your choice on your voice smell. You ready to play? - One, two, two. - Let's do it. Let's do it. First up, let's hear from Joel Nicole Johnson. Second else, who else in his wife, Asia, one big on the only season of the Cambodian game show? Take my wife or my life. (audience laughs) It was a show that took the contestants on a year-long journey that makes Survivor look like a weekend at the spa. When aired, the clips of the couple working together to complete challenges and master tasks while still managing to love each other, went viral on the internet and they developed a cult following. So what did they do with the winnings? They started a game show based cult. Called The Goober was Right. We're not the Mansons. We got prizes. There are 82 followers lovingly refer to them as the chef and the vanna from heaven. Every single day is dedicated to a different game show on Will Affortune Wednesdays. The followers spin the wheel of karma. Family Feud Fridays, everyone wears fake moustaches and wins prizes based on their bushy-ness. (audience laughs) Saturdays are clothing optional. The followers are sometimes naked, but never afraid. (audience laughs) When interviewed cult assistant Rainier, the Grand Mesa, says, "It's not that bad as far as cults go." And unlike most cult leaders, Sakinelle doesn't pursue the female members. He doesn't even let them kiss his cheeks because he don't want to smear his stage makeup. (audience laughs) A game show winner starts a cult based on game shows. Your next story to buzz in on comes from Emmy Blotnik. A new study has found that if a male contestant on Will Affortune refers to his wife with a complimentary adjective such as my lovely wife or my gorgeous wife, he's three times more likely to stay married to her. Men who did not use a complimentary adjective about their wives were three times more likely to get divorced. The study was based on six years worth of episodes and it was conducted not by a team of researchers, but by one random guy. (audience laughs) He watched nearly 2,000 episodes of Will Affortune and that whole time he wasn't even retired. (audience laughs) He methodically recorded which men said a nice word about their wives and which did not and then went and checked their divorce records. Wow, sounds like he could really benefit from the company of a fantastic wife. (audience laughs) Another interesting finding was that the contestants who paid their wives compliments also won more cash, but kind words don't need to be reserved for your partner or for when you're on Will Affortune. Why not offer a complimentary adjective to a colleague and quietly hope for more money? And with that, I'll turn it back over to our bewitching host, Peter Segal. (audience laughs) Thank you, Emmy. Thank you. (audience applauds) A study found that men who referred to their wives with a compliment on Will Affortune had more successful marriages than those who referred to their wives without one, your last contestant is John Marcos Arrezi. Plans for another season of Mr. Beast's Beast Games on Amazon have been put on hold after it was discovered that an episode in season two plagiarized several of the challenges from KGB interrogation techniques. The similarities were first spotted by former Soviet foreign intelligence officer, Yuri Gordievsky, who remarked that episode five's grocery store challenge utilized an ultra-luminous and exposure technique that was originally designed by the KGB to make people temporarily insane. While also remarking that Mr. Beast took it to an extreme that would "never have been allowed in the Soviet Union." (audience laughs) Since the news broke, dozens of other former KGB have come forward to say the show reminds them why they defected in the first place. (audience laughs) While the show's future remains in limbo, several of the previous challenges have already been implemented to optimize performance in Amazon warehouses. (audience laughs) So here are your choices. We found a news item related to game shows this week. Was it from Joel that there's a cult based on the host's success on game shows? From Emmy Blotnik, we heard about a study showing that if you are on Wheel of Fortune and you refer to your wife with a lovely compliment, my beautiful wife, your marriage will be more successful. Or from John Marcos Sarrazi, a discovery that the Beast Games stole many of the most exciting challenges from the KGB, which was the real story we found on the news. - I can definitely see Mr. Beast doing something like that. And I'm a huge fan of John Marcos, so I'll go with number three. - Well, you have a huge fan, John Marcos. - That's very nice. - I know, well, you're, (laughs) so you're gonna choose John Marcos' story. Well, okay, to bring you the real story, we spoke to an expert. - Could you imagine your husband going on national television and referring to simply as his wife instead of his beautiful wife or wonderful wife? - That was the man himself, Joey, on TikTok, explaining. (audience laughs) His detailed analysis of men on Wheel of Fortune mentioning their wives. So as you know, doubt have figured out, it was in fact, Emmy, who had the real story. (audience applauds) - I feel terrible. Well, I feel terrible. - And you did it to a fan, John Marcos. - Yeah, I'm sorry. And it's really crazy. - Well, only a man could need a six-year study to learn that he needs to compliment his wife. (audience laughs) - Well, I'm sorry, you didn't win our prize, but you did earn a point for John Marcos, so. And you said you're a fan, so. - Thank you for the point. - Thank you. - You are a beautiful caller in. - Er. (audience laughs) - And let us not also forget you will be a beautiful bride. So congratulations on your wedding. - Congratulations. - Thank you. ♪ I just know, yeah, you're so beautiful ♪ ♪ Oh, you're smile ♪ - And now the game we call not my job, "Pitchfork Magazine," once wrote, quote, "What the Beatles were at his 60s pop pavement were to '90s Indy Rock." That seminal band which influenced so many others was founded in Stockton, California by Stephen Malcolmus and his friends and 30 years later, he and they are still making music, and he's doing it. from his new home here in Chicago. Stephen Malcolm is welcome to "Wait, Wait." (audience applauding) Thank you. Thank you, thank you. (audience applauding) I feel we need to start with the fact that was "Pavement, Your Band, The Beatles of '90s Indie Rock?" - I don't think so. - No. (audience laughing) - So there's only one Beatles. - Yeah, I know. But maybe you were the Herman and the Hermits of '90s Indie Rock. - Where would you place yourself on the spectrum? - Where would you, the "Wait, Wait," don't tell me of "90s Indie Rock?" - Yeah, there you go. I have no idea what that would mean though. (audience laughing) So, five pieces. So, but the band, I mean, what I've heard about "Pavement" is something that was also once said about the "Velver to Underground." Like, you know, they didn't have as many listeners as some other bands, but everybody who listened started their own band. - Yeah, we got a lot of CDs, none of those. - CDs, people are sending you CDs saying-- - No, just at the shows. - People come up and they go, "You influence me, "here's my band." - Yeah, 'cause it kind of seems like you can do it. You hear us? It's not particularly like "Virtue us." - Where are you telling me that like, the message that people got from your seminal records in the '90s was like, listen to "Pavement," like, "I could do that." (audience laughing) - Much, you know. We have a relationship with tone and tuning and tempo that is loose. - Loose, loose. - Yeah, can we go back to the origins so you founded the band in Stockton, California, where you were, - Yes. - Where you kind of had a juvenile delinquent, as they used to say? - I think it says, "I don't want Wikipedia." - Yeah. (audience laughing) - I haven't bothered to change, I don't know. Can you change-- - Apparently you can, but the consensus is you should not edit your own Wikipedia band. - Yeah, I don't know. - I mean, it's ridiculous. Because I know there is something about me, like, partying on rooftops in the high school and it was just one tiny thing of all the terrible things I did. (audience laughing) - Really? It's like, "Quick and pede it." They missed all the other terrible things you did. But for some reason, people are talking about the sound party comes, you know what I mean? That becomes-- - But the real question is, have you changed? - You changed, I-- - Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm older and wiser and I don't climb on rooftops anymore. - Yeah, take the elevator, like a responsible guy. - Do you get recognized by fans in the streets of Chicago? - Sometimes. - Yeah. - More when I go, I mean, if I hang out in front of a record store. (audience laughing) - You just stand there, mining your own business, just-- - Tap in your foot. - Next to the P section. - Yeah. (audience laughing) - Tuning and guitar. - Yeah. - Tap in my foot. - Where my T-shirt? - Yeah, where your T-shirt. Now, you know that also in the Chicago area, Billy Corgan lives in Smashing Pumpkins. And, yeah, and he famous, you famously, in one of your songs back in '94, you called them out, you called out the Smashing Pumpkins. - In a way. - In a way. - I mentioned their name. - In a not complimentary way. - Not so bad, though. - Would you say? - I mean, it's really a nice thing to do that even take the time to mention something. (audience laughing) - I say, so he should have been, - Wow. - He should have been flattered by, oh wow, your name checked his band, rather than the subsequent mention of waste of time. (audience laughing) - I'd say that. - Maybe that was-- - They didn't have the Pumpkins function, but, you know, they do truly have some good songs and, (audience laughing) I do. What do you, I mean, have you run into Billy down at Pizzeria? - No. - For example, no, yeah. - He's like afraid of you. - The same. - Yeah. (audience laughing) - Yeah, I mean, he lives like in the beyond, Evanston from what I understand. - The way, the way in the far north. - Yeah. - He's well-being at Wisconsin, I know. (audience laughing) - I know you've dismissed this question before that your writer is, two writers for rock stars famously weird. Yours is very straightforward, right? I'm told, like, do you, in fact, as far as, you go, it's only so far as to specify a brand of Celter Water? - Well, maybe a La Croix, as we say it in France. - Yeah. - Or Montreal or something. Yeah, we have a basic writer. I don't, I mean, the other guys want towels. - Tows. - I don't use towels. - Ever? - You just air-dry? - I don't sweat that much. - Really? (audience laughing) - Not too much. I don't, I wouldn't do that on stage. So it's like, just kidding. So I, yeah, I don't need them, but I, and they're always black and kind of seem, - Was wrong with that? - I'm saying. (audience laughing) (audience laughing) - I don't sweat that much. (audience laughing) (audience laughing) - There's something about a rock and roll towel that it's black, it's not just that black is rock and roll, like heavy metal, there's, like, but also you don't know what's on there on the towel. Who knows when it's, when it's not clean, maybe. - Not even a neat, free towel. - I'd be more scared of a white towel. - You would say the no. - I guess so. - I love this, but you know. - But they're dry when we get them. I don't know, they just, I see dust in them or something that's always dusty back there. Y'all's just kind of dusty too. - Wait a minute. - Oh, no. - Not the adjectives. - Oh, call me Billy Corgan. (audience laughing) - Well, we didn't get your writer, so we didn't prepare. I just thought this, like, this, the father of Indy Rock is like, yeah, I don't know about those towels. They're on sanitary. (audience laughing) That's not the lifestyle I imagine you living. I have to admit. (audience laughing) - That's true. - Well, Stephen Malcolm is, it's a pleasure to talk to you and to welcome you to Chicago. We have asked you here to play a game. We're calling, pavement repairs are underway. (audience laughing) So there's another kind of pavement workers, road construction crews. Naturally, we're gonna ask you three questions about construction. Answer two out of three questions correctly. You'll win our prize, one of our listeners. Also, who's Stephen Malcolm is playing for. - Francis King of Mizzula Montana. - All right. Ready to do this? - Yes. (audience applauding) - Recently, road crews in Southern England had to dig up a 65-foot long stretch of road and repair it, which was necessary, but neighbors were not happy with the detour they set up to get around the 65-foot long stretch of road. Why were they unhappy? Was it A, the detour to repair that was 41 miles around. (audience laughing) B, the detour was also under construction, meaning people just had to go home or see the detour across the river or spot where there wasn't a bridge. (audience laughing) Oh, man. I will say, they say, "Schmuck's picked three, so I'll do three." - You're gonna do C, the Cross-Driver. - Well, I guess you're not a Schmuck, because it was actually A, the 41 mile detour long to avoid the 65-foot long construction site. They estimated the detour, the officials estimated the detour would take drivers about an hour to travel the distance that would normally take two seconds. All right. (audience laughing) Here's your next question. When you're done with the construction in Enabrahu, the last step, of course, to put up new street signs. But in Reno, Nevada, the new street signs they put up on Virginia Street, once they finished constructing it, had a problem. What? Was it A, they reflected headlights so well, they were blinding drivers. B, they were missing the last eye and said, "For a Jhinah Street." (audience laughing) We'll see, they read Buck Thorne Avenue, which was a street two and a half miles away. I don't know, I mean, too, is the funny one. (audience laughing) That's right. - All right. - It was also the true one, yeah. (audience laughing) - For a Jhinah Street. (audience applauding) All right, this is great. You got one with one to go if you get this, you win. Here's your last question. Other types of construction have issues as well. In 1816, the US constructed a border fort on Lake Champlain to protect against attacks from British Canada, but the fort had to be demolished. Why? Was it A, they accidentally built the fort on the Canadian side of the border. (audience laughing) B, the commander demanded a wine cellar so big that half the fort one day just sank into it. Where C, the fort was made of birch logs and birch bark is like catnip to moose. (audience laughing) Mm. I've seen some is not far from Mizzoula, Montana, so I really wanna do it right for this guy. (audience laughing) I guess that's a sign, I'm gonna say C, even though it's probably A. - Wait a minute, you said C, even though it's probably A. - Yeah. (audience laughing) - So if it's probably A, wouldn't you wanna choose A? - Yeah, yeah, okay. - That's A, yeah, okay. (audience applauding) Thank you. (audience applauding) - Also, how did Stephen do in our pitch? - Well, look, Nudge and you got two out of three. - Congratulations. - Thank you. - Thank you. - Thank you. - Thank you. - Stephen Malcolm, this is the lead singer and guitarist of pavement and you can see them on tour starting in July. Stephen Malcolm, thank you so much for being on my way to the top. (audience applauding) - Give it up, Stephen Malcolm. (upbeat music) - In just a minute, Alzo puts on his radios sweatsuit for our listener, Limerick Challenge called "One Triple Eight, Wait, Wait, Wait, to Join Us on the Air." We'll be back in a minute with more of "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" from NPR. (upbeat music) - From NPR and WBE, - Easy Chicago, this is Weight, Weight, don't tell me. The NPR news quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with John Marcos Sarrazi, Emmy Blotnik and Joel Nicole Johnson. And here again is your host at the Studebrick and Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segal. - Thank you, Alzo. (audience cheering) - In just a minute, we try out the hot new summer craze. People won't stop talking about its lemrex. (audience laughing) So listen to a lemrex challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-weight. That's 1-888-924-892-4. Right now, Pan, although it is time for you to answer more questions from the week's news. Emmy, a question for you. There's a wonderful old historic house for sale outside Philadelphia, but-- - I'll take it. - There you are. There's a wonderful old historic house for sale outside Philadelphia, but anyone who buys it will have to live with what? - Gritty? - No. (audience laughing) That would be an incentive. That would drive up the price. - I feel it, okay. - No, I'll give you a hint. Oh no, the red coats are coming. The red coats are coming to our yard. - A cure-starmer? (audience laughing) - Well, he does need some place to go, I guess. No, when I say red coats, I mean like literal red coats, dressed as British soldiers, because they come to do a-- - Reenactment. - Revolutionary war reenactment. (bell dings) Exactly right. This nearly 250 year old house comes with, quote, nine bedrooms, ten fireplaces, ample parking, and this is completely true, an unbreakable agreement to let an entire battalion of dads reenact the battle of Germantown from the Revolutionary War on the front lawn every year. And it will only cost you $995,000, plus whatever you have to pay to get the hell out of Germantown once a year. (audience laughing) - How hot are the dads? (audience laughing) - There really is something about the phrase battalion of dad. - Yeah, right. - And then I sat up a little straight. - Yeah, yeah. - Joyelle, Time Magazine has given us something we could use, good advice. They have told us the best way to console someone who sports team, just blew a big game, is by saying three exact words. What are those three words? - Here's a sandwich. (audience laughing) That's not bad. That would work for me. But that wasn't the three words they suggested. - I know what three words I would say. - What three words would you say? - Suck it up. (audience laughing) That's pretty good. Does anybody else have a guess? - Any book recommendations? (audience laughing) - No, I think I'll just have to tell you, according to Time Magazine, experts, the three words to say to somebody who was crushed by their team blowing it at the last minute is let's zoom out. What? Let's zoom out. Your friend just watched his, his team, and he lives and dies by just blew it in the last seconds. He's on his knees, weeping. What do you say to comfort him? One psychologist recommends wording it like this. Zoom out a little bit. Let's remember how great the season was. This helps your friend remember all the success that got them to the brink of glory and also helps by immediately giving him something to punch. (audience laughing) - Yeah, it sounds like the psychologist was not a sports fan. - No. (audience laughing) - Joyel this week, dating.com announced a new job opening, an executive that will provide clients with what specific service? - Breaking up with people. - Exactly right, Joyel. - Yeah. (audience applauding) - The website announced they'll be hiring a quote, chief breakup officer, will be paid $3,000 a month to end other people's relationships for them. The ideal candidate will have good people skills, a compassionate nature, and at least a year experience working with drama. - Where do I sign up? - Really? - But it's us. - I would absolutely be good at this. - Don't you think it would be, you know, a drain on your empathy, if to call people up and somehow say hi, I work for dating.com and I've been asked by whom ever to let you know that they're not interested in seeing you anymore, I'm so sorry. - I love that you think I have empathy. (audience laughing) - I was sign up for this in a second. Are you kidding me? I'm about to call them. What you call it, dating? - I'm too. - I'm so excited about this. I'm never coming back here again. I'm gonna get this job. (audience laughing) - This is so unethical. You can't play both sides of the market. It's like profitable, but I don't think it's right. - Okay. - How many women have you ghosted? - Ghosted? - Yeah. - No, I'd pay someone to break up with them properly, like a gentleman. (audience laughing) ♪ Breaking up again ♪ ♪ Breaking up again ♪ - Coming up, it's lightning fell into blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call and leave a message at one, triple eight, wait, wait, wait, that's one, eight, eight, eight, nine, two, four. You can see us most weeks right here at the Student Baker Theater in downtown Chicago. You can catch us on the road. We'll be at the beautiful Riverside Theater in Milwaukee in July 9th. You won't wanna miss that one. And at the Rose Music Center, just outside Dayton, Ohio, in September 3rd, for tickets and information to all our live events, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, everyone, way way to don't tell me. - Hi, Theater, this is Sharon from Bradenton, Florida. - Hey, how are things in Bradenton? What do you do there? - Oh, lots of sense sets on the beach, meeting with friends. I have also a cat sitting business on the side. - You have a cat sitting business. - Yes. - So do the cats come to your house? Or do you go to theirs? - I go to theirs. - Wow. What's the most interesting thing you have found rifling through people's drawers when they're not home? (audience laughing) - Oh, Peter, I don't do that. (audience laughing) I'm there for about half an hour. And-- - Definitely, definitely not time. - Yeah. (audience laughing) Well, welcome to the show, Sharon. Alzo Slade is gonna read you three news related Lemrex with a last word of phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word of phrase correctly, and two of the Lemrex will be at winner. Are you ready to play? - Yeah, I'm ready. - Here's your first Lemrex. To make a tough workout more bearable, I bring clothes that are old but still wearable. Like a slob, I appear in my growth sweaty gear. I go to the gym looking-- - Oh, terrible? - Yes, terrible. In recent years, everybody at the gym has worn fancy exercise clothes, but according to the Guardian, the latest trend among celebrities and fashionistas is wearing crappy old clothes to work out. So now the rest of us can. Finally, I can throw out my sweat-wicking tuxedo. (audience laughing) - This is one of those recession indicators where they're like, it's fashionable that your clothes suck. - Yeah, exactly. All the hot people are doing it. The look is called Jim Goblin. (audience laughing) Jim Goblin. Come on, the Jim Goblin, we don't know this, is not the person who dresses down for the gym. The Jim Goblin is the guy who is way too comfortable being naked in the locker room. (audience laughing) I'm curious to you guys think about what you wear with the gym, assuming you do go? - I try to dress up. I have some fancy tank tops that I like to wear. - Do you really? I mean, mini mouse. - Mini mouse. - I have a mini mouse one. I have a teenage manage of turtles. I have, yeah, I like a little flare. - What do you think? - Are you going to see me? - Exactly. (audience laughing) - Are you going to a toddler gym? That's weird. (audience laughing) - No, it's fun. I had a little color to the gym. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah. - Here is your next limbic. - Most people will choose crisp tattoos, but this new kind is just black and blues. The ink under your shirt suggests you've been hurt 'cause it looks like a permanent. - Bruse. - Right. More and more people are getting tattoos resembling stylized bruises because actually, we have no idea why they are doing that. (audience laughing) It's pretty crazy to look at these tattoos that are inked in purple, green, and yellow to look exactly like halfway healed bruises. It's crazy, and if you're looking for a cheaper, less painful way to get in on the trend, the man is suggesting riding an e-scooter after a couple of beers. (audience laughing) - It sounds like someone screwed up a tattoo and was like, no, it's a new thing. - Yeah. (audience laughing) - All right, here's your last limbic. - A commute will just quit, set a bunch, and our office is feeling the crunch. So our plan of attack give them food. They'll come back. We're offering snacks and free lunch. Yes, free lunch. More and more companies have hit upon the solution at long last to bring workers back to the office. Free lunch. It's a refreshing change from the tactic most companies had been using. Come into work or you're fired. (audience laughing) - Isn't there a saying about free lunches and how there's no such thing as them? - Apparently there now is. - As long as you come into the office. - Wow. - I have found this to be true across all demographics and certainly with myself, the universal appeal of free food. - I accepted this job because of free lunch. - Yeah. (audience laughing) - Alzo, how did Sharon do in our quiz? - She did amazing. Three out of three, Sharon, congratulations. - Sharon, congratulations. - Thank you. - Thank you. - Thanks for calling and playing. - Thanks and been great. Bye. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) go in the lead at three. Oh my goodness. (audience cheering) Okay, so that means that since Emmy and Joy-L are tied for second, I'm just gonna pick Joy-L to go first. I betrarily the clock will start when they begin your first question fill in the blank. On Tuesday, all the candidates endorsed by Mayor Mamdani won their primaries in blank. New York, maybe! Yes! On Monday, Iran denied White House claims that it had agreed to let the blank monitors into the country. Maybe monitors. No. New clear monitors, according to the New York Times, new evidence does suggest that blank will hold a wedding ceremony at Madison Square Garden. Taylor Swift? Yes, on Wednesday, the Chief of Staff for Eric Adams, the former mayor of blank, was arrested on corruption charges. New York, baby! Yes, after a truck over turn on the highway near Yellowstone, park rangers are warning visitors to be on the alert for blank. Drunk Drivers! No, 250 million escaped bees. On Thursday, Rockstar Games announced their pre-orders were open for the latest game in the Grand Theft Blank series. Auto! Yes! This week a tent standoff between a SWAT team in Arizona and an armed suspect was interrupted by blank. The Jim Goblin? No, not a Jim Goblin. By a delivery robot driving right through the middle of the scene. SWAT team's out there, they got their guns, the guys inside, he's armed. And right in the middle of the standoff comes this delivery robot. Yee-ee! Door dashed the delivery robot. And they couldn't make it go away and they couldn't get rid of it. But it actually ended up helping it went up to the door and said, "Look, I'm on your side here. If you let everybody out of the house unharmed, I can guarantee you a bag of lukewarm French fries." Also, how did Joyelle do in our quiz? She did all right. She got four right for eight more points, total of ten. She is now in the lead. All right. I mean, that means you are up next. Here we go, fill in the blank on Wednesday, two back-to-back earthquakes. Struck the Northern coast of blank. Venezuela. This week, the US warned that AI is just months away from being able to launch powerful blank attacks. Toilet? They're swarming us. No, cyber attacks. On Wednesday, Trump said he wanted the Justice Department to investigate if oil companies are artificially inflating blank prices. Yes. Right. This week, thanks to SpaceX's stock price, Elon Musk became the first-ever blank. Big stupid baby. The first-ever person who had been a trillionaire to become an ex-tillionaire. According to sources, Apple will release a foldable blank this September. Phone? Yes, foldable iPhone. This week, a Scottish man went to the doctor for vision problems, discovered the reason he was having trouble seeing was because blank. He was wearing eye patches. No. He was having eye troubles because he kept using a massage gun on his eyeballs. Oh my God. Doctors were shocked when the man told them that he'd been regularly using the massage gun on his tired eyeballs once a week for at least three months. That explained several of his symptoms, including his blurred vision, his persistent floaters, in his vision, and the fact that his eyes are now set all the way to the back of his skull. That sounds painful. It really does. Imagine the guy going, "Eh, I'm sure this is good for me. Eh, I also added Emmy Balotnik, doing our quiz." So you got three right for six more points. Total of eight, Joil, is still in the lead. All right. So how many then? Does John Marco need to win on his debut on this show? Debues, John Marco, you only need four points, brethren. All right. Here we go. You ready to do this? Yes. The game weather continues to hit Europe. France recorded its "blankest day" in history. Hottest. Right. On Tuesday, A.J. DeBanza was the number one pick in the blank? Say, it's a fiefold thing. No. NBA draft. No. This week, President Trump said he intends to finish his border blank before the end of his term. Well, yes. According to a new study, 77% of Americans thinks that the blanks would be disappointed at how the country has turned out. Founding fathers? Yes. The French ace fired one of their executives after she was caught on camera, blanking during the New York Knicks victory parade. Stealing a trash can and pouring it all out on the street. That's exactly right. It was a Knicks-themed trash can, and she wanted it. On Wednesday, NASA's Perseverance Rover detected organic carbon on blank. Mars? Yes. On Tuesday, Meta released a new cheaper version of their AI blank? A headset. VR headset. Oh, I'm going to give it to you glasses. Glass. The customers accused REI of using AI in an Instagram ad because the bicycle they posted there has blank. Six fingers. No. Fingers to begin with, I guess, and a bicycle would be weird. No, this bicycle was pictured with handlebars at both ends. REI came in for some criticism when their ad for the EDR-F bike had handlebars in the front and instead of a seat, even more handlebars pointing the other way. Honestly, though, anyone criticizing the ad is kind of full of it. Oh, this looks so uncomfortable. Unlike that paragon of comfort, a bike seat. Also, did John Mark would do well enough to win. He kicked ass. Hey! You got six right for 12 more points. 15 total debut champion. He came. He saw. He conquered. Wow. Way to show up the vets, man. That was some. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what surprising thing the authorities will find when they finally drain the reflecting pool. But first, let me tell you all. It's a production of NPR and WBZ Chicago, an association with urgent hair-car productions Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philip Godica writes our lemrex. Our public address announced where his Paul Freeman. Our ops manager is Ciro Vardak, thanks to the staff and crew with the Studebick Refeator. BJ Liderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Dermbus and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Mohan and Elshahi. Peter Gwynn is our lead singer. Emma Choi is our vibe curator, technical director of the Law and the Wider. CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Nuhouser, senior producers in Chilok. And the executive producer of Weightway, don't tell me, is Mike Danforth. Now panel, what will they find on the bottom of that reflecting pool? Johnny Blotnik. The enormous sapphire and diamond necklace known as the Heart of the Ocean. [laughter and applause] Joel Nicole Johnson. Jimmy Hapa. [applause] And John Marcos Arezzi. The real Melania Trump. [laughter] And if any of that happens, panel will ask you about it on Weightway, don't tell me. Thank you to Alzo Slag. Thanks also to Jill Nicole Johnson and Melania Blotnik. John Marcos Arezzi for a great debut. Thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Peter Segal. We will see you next week. [applause] This is NPR.