Reesa Teesa: Life After ‘Who TF Did I Marry?’

From the heart of Georgia, from the newsroom that knows this state best, it's AJC Flagship, the new podcast from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Every week, new voices. Atlanta didn't invent chicken wings, but we put lemon pepper on the map. New stories. For the first time, I'm having to rethink my Waffle House order. And a whole new way to hear the news. Most people don't even know this place exists unless they're gonna buy, like, 500 dresses. Flagship, your front row seat to the substance and soul of the South. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. The Georgia 2026 Senate race is hugely important. What's at stake in 2026 for the Senate race in Georgia? A lot. Everybody in Washington is watching this race. Because that margin of majority is so slim, every swing state seat counts. And that's why Georgia's Senate race is so important in 2026. The AJC's Politically Georgia. We're gonna tell you everything that's going on and the races that matter to you. Follow us wherever you listen to podcasts. Welcome to the It's UATL podcast, your guide to Black culture in Atlanta. I'm Nadja Parker. I'm De'Asia Page. And I'm Nedra Roan. Hey, girl. Hey. Hello. Well, y'all know this month is National Black Business Month. So we live in Atlanta. It's a whole bunch of Black businesses here. So what's one of your faves? De'Asia? Well, I'll start first. Stay right ahead. I would say Moods Music off of Euclid and Little Five Points. It's a record store owned by Daryl Harris, a very popular record store in Atlanta. He also opened a new location in downtown. Now it's called Crates ATL. So, you know, I like to collect my vinyl records. So that's one of the places that I do frequent. And also, I think Tyler, the creator, frequents Moods Music as well. Okay. He's been spotted recently. So that's mine. But what about you all? So mine is called Suit Bohemian. It is a Black-owned, woman-owned, queer-owned lifestyle brand in Ponce City Market. It was founded in 2016 and is co-owned by best friends and creative partners, Vanessa Core Vernon and Morgan Ashley Bryant. So they have items that include candles, clothing that is, to me, how do I want to put it? It's very modern. but still has a little ethnic chic. That's what I'm going to call it. I just made that up. Oh, ethnic chic. Yes, I made that up. And they may not advertise like that, but that's what I'm calling it. So anyway, I just like being in there. It's very nice. It smells good. You know, people are friendly and the clothing is beautiful. So love it. Yeah. Well, mine is coffee related. Oh, yes. I love portrait coffee down in the West End. It's great. My go-to drink is the Aunt Viv Latte. And if you are wondering if it's inspired by the beloved character from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, it is. So the website says it blends their house-made brown sugar, syrup, cinnamon, and cardamom into a latte that's going to give you the boost that you need. And it's also really cute in there as well. They have all these portraits throughout the coffee shop that are taken by Black photographers. And it's a good place to get your work done. They sell some candles as well and some merch and a lot of odes to Atlanta figures like OutKast. So if you need a pick-me-up, I would recommend Portrait. All right, ladies. For this week, we'll be sitting down with content creator Risa Tisa. Plus, we'll tell you why we can't stop thinking about Mary at First Sight. But first, it's time for the rundown of Black culture news in ATL and beyond making headlines. And we're a little entertainment heavy this week, but I think that's okay. Okay? And I don't think I even needed to say that, but, you know, it's there in the document, but we're going to keep it going. So I'm up first. Guess who has a Barbie? Barbie. Drum roll, please. Miss Whitney Houston. It's about time. Yeah. You know, it's been 20 years in the making. They were thinking about creating a Barbie for Whitney Houston before she died, and it is finally here. And it is inspired by her pop era from the 80s. So the Barbie has the look from I Want to Dance with Somebody. Yes. And it's out just in time for her 63rd birthday or what would have been her 63rd birthday, which is or which was on August the 9th. The Barbie was unveiled recently at the 5th Annual Legacy of Love Gala hosted by the Whitney E. Houston Legacy Foundation in Atlanta. And it helps, does something for children, I believe. Helped the children. I think it helps the kids. The children are our future. You know the children. Yes, she said. That's what they said. She said in her song. She said it in her song. Yes, yes. The gala does raise money to support young people from undeserved communities. Well, I'm excited about this. Me too. You all know or may recall that my trip to Seattle, was it two, three years ago? I found a black Barbie doll that was part of the United Nations collection. It was way back in the 80s, I think it came out. And I bought it. And that spurred me to start collecting black Barbie dolls. So I'm very excited that I now have a Whitney Houston doll. To add to the collection. To add to my collection. I didn't know you collected black Barbie dolls. I mean, I literally just started like three weeks ago or three years ago when I saw that one. Yeah, interesting. So how many do you have? About, I'm gonna say about seven. Okay, nice. Yeah, I mean, I try not to just be like, oh, let me just get one just because, but I get the ones that really, you know, appeal to me. And like I said, that one in Seattle, just for some reason, it was just the only little black Barbie. And I was like, I have to get her. It needs a home. She needed a home. She needed to come home with me. So yes, when I go to thrift stores or whatever, I always look for one. I'm excited about this one too. I used to collect Barbies and I'm being hesitant with it because it was really my mom's project through me. So she said, here are some Barbies for your collection, AKA my collection. Don't open them. You can't play with them. Let them stay in the box. So this, if I really cared and was passionate about collecting Barbies is something I would add. I think we talked about this before. I have the Moesha Barbie with the braids that Brandy rocked. But I know Brooke. - Yeah, Brooke is the real collector. - Brooke Howard who wrote this story. She's a Barbie expert. I know she's adding this to her collection. - Yes. - Yeah, this is great. I'm not a, not huge on Barbie, but this is great for Whitney Houston and her legacy. So I love this. - Yeah. - What else we got? - Okay, so in politics news, former US transportation secretary, Pete Buttigieg, a possible 2028 presidential hopeful has endorsed gubernatorial candidate, Keisha Lance Bottoms. This was a move that AJC politics reporter, Greg Bluestein has characterized as his latest move, expanding his footprint in a battleground state ahead of the next White House race. Buttigieg has also backed US Senator John Ossoff's reelection bid. He has campaigned for Sean Harris, the retired US Army officer who is running for the seat once held by Marjorie Taylor Greene. And in his endorsement of Bottoms, Buttigieg said that Bottoms will quote, "Stand up to the chaos in Washington and the politicians who put their interests over everyday Georgians." Thoughts, feelings? - Not surprised. - No? - Yeah. - You're not surprised? Why not? - I mean, yeah, I guess as Greg's piece, his outline, he kind of needs to, you know, start getting support in a battleground state like Georgia, and you know, he wouldn't be endorsing Rick Jackson. That goes against, you know, that's not his party. - Yeah. - But we all know that Black women turn out to vote more than any other demographic. So that may be a part of it. - Yeah. - I bet we'll see more of these announcements as we continue to get closer to November. - I suspect that we will. - We just getting started. - And other people traveling through Georgia, right? - Yeah. - I remember Gavin Newsom showed up. - Yes. - For a bit. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Mm, I didn't think of it that way. You're right. - You know. - Georgia's hot. - Yeah. - In many ways. - Yeah, right? - Well, I guess we'll stay tuned to November to see what the gubernatorial race looks like. - What it brings. - What will happen. - Yes. - So. - Yes. - Well, I know one thing. I know my parents loved me and stand behind me, come what may. - Come on now. - And those are not things that I just know. That's also the lyrics to the "Different World" theme song, which now has a new voice behind it. And that is Ms. Brandy. Yeah, it was recently announced that she's the latest singer to add her voice to this iconic theme song for the "Different World" reboot that's obviously premiering on Netflix next month. Now, did you all listen to it? - Yes, I did. - Thoughts? - She's got some big shoes to fill. Let's just say that. - Well, yeah, because Aretha Franklin did it. Boyz II Men also sang the theme song for the final season as well, so. - But I felt like it was a good effort, right? - I did. - I liked it. - I liked also like the thumping bass line too. And she also like, you know, I don't know, Brandy-fied it in a way because you hear like her stacked vocals, the harmonized like ad-libs, the hushed, her hushed tone and approach tone. approach to it. So I appreciate it. First, it kind of like took me a minute to on me, but as I started listening to it more, I appreciated it. How many times have you listened? Maybe three or four. Okay, so I need to give it a few more. I only listened once, and I did, you know, I liked it. Yeah, it wasn't like, you know, it wasn't anything super remarkable, but I do think it's catchy, and I do like her take on the song, so. What about you? I've listened twice, but maybe a few more times. Brandy's voice, of course, is giving, so that was no surprise. I think the production wasn't what I suspected. It was a bit more boom-bap than, you know, we've heard from previous versions of it, and I know that's them keeping up with the times, I guess, making sure it sounds as current as possible. Because it's a different, different world. Come on now, you gotta make it different. That's what they should have called it. A different, different world. Yeah, it should have been like two differents. But whatever. I don't know. Well, stay tuned for A Different World next month. Well, all right, y'all. It is time to get on to our main segment. All right, so today we have internet sensation and storyteller extraordinaire, Teresa Johnson, who many of us know as Risa Tisa. A few years ago, she created the viral 50-part TikTok series Who the F Did I Marry? where she told the world about her traumatic marriage. It had millions of people glued to the phone for hours, including me. And me. Yes, me as well. But now she has a new memoir coming out called What the F Do I Do Now? Reclaiming Myself One Piece at a Time, which comes out at the end of August. Welcome, Teresa. Risa Tisa! Now first, what is your preference? Risa Tisa? Teresa Johnson? How do you like to be referred to? So, typically when it's Risa-related stuff, I usually just let people call me Risa. Good, because I love it and I can't stop saying it. That's how I know you. How did that name come about again? So, Risa is a variation of my actual name, Teresa. And then Tisa is because she's 21 now, but when she was my little cousin, when she was two, she couldn't say Teresa. So she used to say Tisa. And so she would always be like, Tisa, Tisa. And so Risa Tisa. Y'all, I just threw it together. It works. It was going to take off. That was some Celia's brand. Yeah, good job. Is she wondering, like, where her credit is? She is. And every time, she's in college, so every time she's like, you know, I really want some Chipotle. I'm like, here you go. Here's your credit. Love it. Now, we know all about the saga of your story and what happened online, but tell us about the book and how it came to be. What made you decide to go from a storyteller across social media to writing down your story? So, first of all, I had always wanted a book. In my mind, I really felt like instead of Who the F Did I Marry? being online, it should have been a book. But things, you know, just didn't work out that way because I just had to tell my story on TikTok. Just had to get it out. So once I signed with my agency, pretty much the first thing they said to me was, so where do you want to take this? And I was like, I want to take it on every platform that I can. And the first thing I said was, I really want a book. Well, the idea was, you already told the story, so don't rehash and tell the story in a book form because that's just kind of overkill. Really, what it kind of came down to, they initially said, you know, you should do a self-help book. I refused. Like, I was adamant. I am not in a position to self-help nobody. Like, that is not who I am. That's not even, that doesn't even feel real. But what I did want to do was to write a book that talked about number one, how I even ended up in the situation I was in, the marriage I was in, and what did I learn from it. I hope that there's someone out there that can learn from my mistake and they don't have to repeat it because there is a lot of lessons that I ignored leading up to getting married. The red flags. The red flags. Like, there's a history of red flags that, led me to think that God sent my ex-husband when that was not the case. So, when you write a book, you are going to have to be very honest about the pitfalls and the mistakes that you made. And so, it was very raw to really kind of be naked and talk about, "Dag, like, have I always been a pick-me?" Like, "Has that always been my case and I just disguised it as I want to be married and have a family?" When in fact, like, you've been doing anything you can to be in a relationship and make the relationship work and yet, you don't even know you. So, that's kind of how the book came to be. Can you talk a little bit about the difference between telling some of these details in a book in written form versus on TikTok when you were going through segments? So, it's one thing I say to tell your story online. It is another thing. Putting it in writing form. There is something about actually writing out the things that are in your heart, the things that are in your mind, the things that you're fighting with, the things that you are like, "I don't want to admit that," but you finally do. And when you put it out, when you write it out, there's something very freeing and very scary about it. And I will tell y'all, because I did do the audiobook, there is something even more. I cried when I did parts of the audiobook because I'm reading out loud some of the stuff I never would have admitted out loud. Any part in particular that stands out, as you're saying, that really hit you as you were rehashing it? The part that hits the most is, there's a part in the book where I talk about, "I don't know if I'm on the happily ever after list." Ooh! Yeah, and so, and I talk about how, you know, perhaps, because I am 41, and I understand to some people 41 is still young, I'm not saying it's old, it's just, I'm having to accept that every day I'm living a life I never saw coming. If you had said to me, "Theresa, you know, you want to get married, you want to have kids, but by the age of 40, you're going to no longer be married and not have kids," it never dawned on me. The most I would have thought was that I would have been a widow. I never thought I would not be married, would not have kids. So there is a part where I sometimes struggle with, was that my one chance? And I blew it. And I wasted it on this dude. And that's, you know, again, just being real, so it's like, I don't know, and I said that, I said, "I don't know if I'm on the happily ever after list for biological children." Because again, part of me wonders, has the train left the station? Like, yeah, you can have kids in your 50s, but it takes resources to do that. And I don't want to be a single mom, so if I don't even have a partner, it's like, is that really what you want to do? Do you want kids that bad? And the answer is no. I don't want kids that bad. That's a very real realization. Because I think, you know, you mentioned you grew up in a church. I grew up in a church, too. The women, especially, are socialized to think that, you know, marriage is endgame and, like, be fruitful. Like, multiply. Like, this is what you're here on earth to do. But that's not the truth. Like, we're here to do so many other things besides be a mom and be a wife. But I feel like for women who grew up in the church, it's such a, like, a harsh reality when they do face that. Because we're told all our life to. This is what it's supposed to be. Yeah. And then even in the book, you mentioned that your mom said something about, like, "Oh, you know, like, I understand, like, you know, you want a husband or whatever, but I don't think God made a husband for me." And that kind of reminds me what you just said now about maybe I'm not on the happily ever after list. Yeah, my mom is. She has always been. Child, I don't think I'll ever get married. Like, she. And I remember the church that I grew up in, a lot of the women thought, "That woman is weird." Oh, really? When now, in 2026, that's the norm. Yeah. And so she was way ahead of her time, but she was like, "Listen, if God put the desire in your heart for marriage and children, I support you. I just know that's not my walk." And so, yeah, it was. It's very. It's very interesting to have a mom with that mindset. But you grew up in the church, and I grew up in my grandparents' house. I grew up with a grandmother who was like, "Don't. Don't get a bunch of tattoos, because no one wants to marry a woman with a bunch of tattoos." Yeah, this sounds so familiar. I walk home, I come home, and she's like, "Don't get another one, please! Don't get another one!" How do you feel like you sort of process and. Because you had a very different view than your mom, you know? How do you feel like you processed that at this point? So, younger me thought she was crazy. Absolutely. It was just like, "Mm, that's not me." Because my mom would also say, "Maybe that's not God's will." And I talk about that in the book. I don't want to hear that. I don't want to hear, "Maybe that's not God's will for you to get married." The grown woman I am now, I understand certain decisions my mom made the older I get. But when I was younger, I really resented a lot of things. So, my thinking I'm thinking now, I've been married, it was, I believe in marriage, but my experience was really bad. I cannot, under any circumstances, afford to repeat that. So the fear runs me a bit more than the hope, if we're just going to keep it real. The fear of, you ain't pay attention to them. After all that, you still ain't pay attention to them red flags. And now look at you. And so, again, if reading the book, you'll see that there are relationships that it's almost like, dad, girl, you ain't learn from that one. So you ended up in this one. You ain't learn from this. Now you ended up with. So, yeah, the thinking now is just more of it's fear led than it is hope led. One thing I really appreciate about your book is that you're clear that you are in the middle. Of your healing journey and that you haven't figured it all out. Yeah. Where are you with your healing journey today? What do you feel like you still need to learn or lean into? I'm learning in real time how to listen to my intuition instead of listening to my trauma. Because I have a bad history of listening to the trauma part, the anxious attachment part, than I do listening to the intuition part. I'm not as hopeful as I was. Before all this. And I know some people are like, I get it, girl. I get it. But I hope that healing, I don't push myself to rush it. Because I do think sometimes we live in a society that's like, you still ain't over that. And I don't and I don't want to ever get into that mindset because the thing about who the F did I marry that a lot of people I don't think appreciate it. I am not the person I was before that happened. Like, I'm forever different. So healing right now is something where I take it day by day. I'm not pushing myself to be in a relationship. I'm not pushing myself to be some sort of, oh, I figured it all out, y'all. Instead, it's like I feel so much better in owning the fact that I'm just I'm just a woman out here who's trying to learn from the mistakes she made and not repeat it and heal herself. Yeah. That way, when I do meet someone, if that is if that does happen, I could really do it right this this time. And we'll be right back. From the heart of Georgia, it's AJC flagship, new stories, new voices and a whole new way to hear the news. Is the Southern drawl disappearing? Who really has the best biscuit in Atlanta? Will this be the South's Times Square? AJC flagship. The Georgia 2026 Senate race. Is hugely important. A lot. AJC's Politically Georgia. We're going to tell you everything that's going on and the races that matter to you. I love your acknowledgment. That you have made decisions based in fear, because I think that we often overlook that and how that can impact so many important decisions that we make in life. You simply cannot make a good choice when you are afraid, you know, and so even getting yourself to a neutral, you know, instead of fear is a good thing. Yeah, and it takes work to get to neutral. Right? Are you in therapy at all? I have tried it or? So currently, no, and I will tell you guys I need to be. I was in therapy right after my divorce. I was in therapy right before who the F did I marry, but I felt like my therapist wasn't listening. Yeah. And that's what led me to being like, man, forget it. I'm going to just tell my story because I felt like there was this part of me that was like, I am not being heard. And so one TikTok video led to me just being like, OK, I'm going to tell the story of what happened. Wow. So not being heard by a therapist. It's part of what prompted you to OK, yeah, that's good out to me. And it was surprising because I was wondering about your healing journey during that process and to hear that a therapist, somebody that's supposed to hear you understand you, help you heal, did not do that for you. You needed an outlet. I absolutely needed an outlet. And I describe the series as like turning a faucet on because once I started part like one through five, that was it. It was like, oh, my. I started feeling. Yeah. And all this stuff that was very repressed. That's why, you know, if when people watch the series, I'm sure that you can tell there are certain parts where it looked like, wow, she I see it now. And I'm like, man, I was heavy and you can see it. Like I was I was feeling all kinds of emotions, but I was under no circumstances was I like, OK, I might just quit. Instead, it was like, get get it out. And the more you got it out, the lighter you became. And so it was it was cathartic. It was it was it was not easy. Yeah, it was not easy. I'm curious that you ever go back to that therapist in the middle of you recording this. Fifty five, six and the thing is, I'm I don't know if she saw it or not, but no, I never went back because in some ways that tick tock became my therapy. Yeah, it really did in this. I mean, it was filmed in three days, but it became my three day therapy all hours of the night. Couldn't sleep. Woke up. Started. Started recording. Well, that's why I looked all the time. I love that. That was one of my favorite parts because I was like, look, she's it's two o'clock in the morning. She's recording in the morning. I'd be sitting there at two o'clock in the morning reading. What's going on? That's crazy. Wow. I appreciate that. How do you feel like other than, you know, having book deals and things like that, how has your life changed since you made the decision to share your story? So life is different in terms of I do put a bit of an. Expectation on myself because you're recognized more. So in other words, I'm very I try to be very mindful not only of what I put on social media, but just how I act because and I say this with with love and admiration for the public, you would be surprised the people that film you. So it's almost like you need to always be on. Constantly drained your battery very quickly. And so for me, my world right now is I still work my nine to five. I still shout out to my job. I don't know where I think we talked about where you work. I still work. I still work that same job. And so a lot of that is on purpose because those people treat me like Teresa. They they you know, they think it's cool. They all want a book. But they are like, that's just Teresa. They know you. And so in that space, this is so weird because y'all OK, so as black women, we know in professional settings, you've got to always be a certain way. One of the things that I have found in a weird way, I can be off at my job in that in that safe space with people who know me, who I know. They're not filming me. They're not. Oh, girl, I'm going to put on Facebook recent thesis. No, it's none of that. It's just Teresa. But the biggest difference is you've got to constantly be on. You have got to you really need to be mindful of how you carry yourself out in public because we do live in a cancel culture. We do live in a people hold you to a higher standard, one that you didn't ask for. But this is reality. So I try to I try to be mindful. And when I when I have days where I just cannot take it. Honestly, I stay home. Yeah, I stay I stay home. What's the most like bizarre thing that's happened to you, like in public, maybe from a fan or just being noticed as recent thesis in public or something that was really like, OK, I was not expecting this to happen, but it did. A real thing that happened that changed how I do stuff. I got picked up in an Uber from my house and the driver, a guy before I could even really get in the car, turned around, took a picture. And was like, I have got to show my wife that I had recently seen a car. And this is where you live. Well, I got so scared. That was the last time I was the last time I took a Uber. And so it's stuff like that. But nothing crazy, nothing crazy. Just one of those moments. It's like, yeah, you're going to have to get one of your family members to take you to the airport or something. I'm curious if you've had any solicitations from men saying I could do better than me. Oh, yeah, I have. And I just I very respectfully delete the email. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good idea. I've had I've had everything from solicitations to real threats. Yeah, real threats like kidnapping, kill your family threats. Yeah, my gosh. Yeah, that's heavy. And for what? Right. Like, what did you do? Nothing. It's it's it's social media. It is the beast. Because the other beast. That's what you talked about in the book is like all the negative comments from black women calling you everything but your name. What was it like to process that in real time? Because you're already dealing with judgment that you are putting on yourself. and then to hear other people verbalize that. So what I said in the book is there was a lot of criticism from my sisters, but for every one criticism was like five black women, keep your head up. So I want to be very, very clear that my biggest support has been the women that look like me, the women that look like all of us at this table. But then there were the ones that called me everything but a child of God. It took a huge hit on my mental health. It hit hard. It never dawned on me that you, someone in Minnesota who's never met me before, would say, she lying. She made the whole thing up. Look at her. Like what made her think as a plus size woman, a VP would want her? Like it never dawned on me that people would actually come at you like that. So my skin was. It was paper thin at the time. It's thicker now, but it's full of cuts. But at the same time, it took. Man, that was an ugly time because I'm already self-conscious. You know, I've always been plus size. It is what it is. I came out of the womb at nine pounds. Like I was a big baby. I was a big toddler. It is what it is. But it's another thing when you're scrolling on TikTok, and every. Every think piece or every video is your face. And one night, it was three hours. I went down a rabbit hole. And that's when my mother was like, give me your phone. Like, give me your phone. Because it tore me. It tore me apart. But at the same time, after I did Good Morning America the first time is when the tide turned. And that's when. I don't want to blame TikTok's algorithm, but. But we can. It's very interesting. How you see nothing but negative, and then you'll see a positive, and nothing but positive. The positive was always there. It's just the negative was louder. Right, right. And so that's when I started getting the DMs, the videos of, girl, I'm so. I'll never forget this one older lady. She had to be in her sixties. And she told me, she said, my grandbaby made me watch your series. She said, I'm so proud of you. And from that day forward, I was like, I don't even care what people call me. Because there is a generation of women who are like. We never would have been able to tell this story. Right. And we are proud of you for telling it. I felt like one thing with your storytelling, you know, we can say that you just had the inherent elements of a good story, for sure, just in what you were experiencing. But also I felt like you had good timing. You knew when to say, okay, I'm breaking and I'm going to come back to another part. So tell us a little bit about your journey as a content creator. Was it something you always wanted to do? Did you always kind of have this innate storytelling ability or desire inside of you? So I was. I'll answer that in two parts. Content creator, never. Okay. Never. As a matter of fact, what ended up happening was that I would drive. So we're all in Atlanta. I lived in Jonesboro. Jonesboro, way past Terror Boulevard, like on the edge of Lovejoy. And I would drive to Marietta. That's where I work. So. What a hike. Yeah. So it was an hour and a half. So to pass the time, I would go live on TikTok. Showing, like, the camera is facing, you know, the highway. And I would just play music. I wouldn't talk to too much because, you know, people don't want to hear all that. So I'd have, like, hey, y'all, you know, welcome in. I'm heading to work. Like, that's how I started getting a little bit of a following. By a little bit, I mean 500 people. But I was happy. I was happy with my 500. There was never a content creating part of me that was like, oh, this could turn into something. It was really just a way to not feel so lonely. Right. By playing Beyonce, playing Taylor Swift, playing Goody Mob, I would have, like, Atlanta Fridays. I would only play Atlanta artists on Fridays and take requests while I'm driving. So in terms of content creating, never thought of that. In terms of storytelling, my nickname was 11 Alive News. That was my nickname. If you said to little seven-year-old Teresa, what happened? Sit down. I'm going to tell you from A to Z. I'm going to add in accents. I'm going to add in this is what he said. This is what he was wearing when he said it, mommy. And I'm going to tell you everything. I have always been a storyteller. I have always been dramatic. I was in drama school in middle and high school, but never thought about being a content creator. But if you ask me to tell you a story, oh, honey. You're going to tell a story. I'm going to tell a story now. I'm going to tell it. I love it. What do you hope people? What do you hope people will learn from your new book? There's so many things I hope people will learn. There are lots of lessons embedded in that book. Right, right, right. One, I hope nobody feels like it was just them. Two, and I say this mostly to women, because I do think that we struggle with this a little bit more than men. But to the women out there who really, you're living a life you didn't see coming. You wanted, and I remember making a video about childless by circumstances versus by choice. I hope that this is a video that you're going to watch. This book says to them, you don't have to give up on it. At this age that you're at, the age that I'm at, let's just edit the dream. That's what I've been saying. Let's edit the dream to fit where we are now. And it doesn't mean that you don't deserve the dream you had. Let's just edit that dream a bit. How has your happily ever after changed? How has the definition of that version of that phrase changed for you? So, for me. I value peace. This has been the first time in my life where I have peace. Because, again, working on the book, I didn't realize how much I had lived and was comfortable in chaos. I didn't realize how much fear and trauma were making my decisions what they were. So, happily ever after, for me right now, it doesn't necessarily mean you're not going to have kids. I haven't quite. Accepted that just yet. Like, I'm just being honest. Now, if y'all bring me back in a year, that answer may be different. What I'm trying to figure out is, what am I willing to accept? Am I willing to accept a life where you travel? You're the cool cousin. Because I'm an only, sorry, I'm an only child. So, I'm not the auntie. But you're the cool cousin who travels everywhere, lives her best life. But you are, in fact, doing it alone. You're sharing. You're sharing. You're sharing. You're still great. You're fabulous. But you are doing it single. Are you okay with that? Are you okay with maybe your happily ever after does include a husband, but not children? So, the most honest answer I can give you, I'm still trying to figure out what happily ever after means in this stage of my life. I just appreciate this I'm in the middle of figuring it out conversation. Because I feel like a lot of times we have these talks once we've arrived. We can kind of reflect on the lessons we've learned. But to do it in real time feels more honest and more authentic and probably more true to where people are right now in their journey. I don't know if I've ever felt like I've arrived. But also, like, what does it mean to arrive? Because when you get to the arrival point, what's next? Life goes on. So, there has to always be an editing. You have to always be thinking about where are we going? And that's what I'm trying to do is my goal. My goal for this book was to keep it real, even even if it's if it's ugly, like after a 50 part series with a rag on your head and you crying three different ways, you can go ahead and keep it real. Like you can you can go ahead and say, these are the things that I have learned, you know, the people who call me desperate and I and I admit that there were parts where I was desperate. I really, you know, really wanted what I wanted. Like, desperation has many different faces. It's not always loud. You know what I mean? Sometimes it is very quiet turning your head when you shouldn't. But at the end of the day, I can honestly say I wrote a book that the younger version of me would be proud of and the older version of me will still be able to stand on. I feel like you can see through that very like, you know, I read a lot of memoirs, you know, I know this is more self-help, but it's combination kind of and you can tell immediately when people are being honest and when they're not. And I think you did a great job of really being vulnerable and putting it out there. Thank you. And one last question before we let you go. How are you so A.T.A.? I know you're from New Jersey originally, but you've been you've moved. You've been here most of your life since I was ten. OK, so how would you say, like, you're so A.T.A.? So someone told me I went to Essence and a lady from Atlanta said, you're allowed to claim Atlanta, you're allowed to claim Georgia because you did elementary and middle school, high school and college here. That's fair. So I was like, OK, you know, that's that's how I'm going to claim it, because all my all my student loans say that she is, you know, no, I ain't no place like Atlanta, Georgia. Right. Ain't nothing like in this is the part that trips me out when I when I see people who probably are not from Atlanta, but they they have filmed themselves driving up I-75 and they see the NCR building. And they tag me in the video. I'm like, man, everybody knows about the NCR building. they need to give you a check and then behind it is the strip club so yeah well we appreciate your time and your authenticity and your vulnerability thank y'all for having me of course, no thank you alright so before we let you guys go it is time for Rent Free where we talk about a story that is taking up real estate in our minds and sad as I am to admit it and acknowledge it publicly I have been addicted to Married at First Sight season 20 the only season I've ever watched honestly this takes place in Seattle with seven couples who marry at first sight and may stay married or may not and I kind of got caught up in this when I saw clips on social media of a couple by the name of Sean is it Sean? and Nikki and they are one of the black couples on the show and boy I mean I don't want to disparage the talents of Paul Brunson and Dr. Lisa Paz who are the matchmakers on the show but how in the heck did they put these two people together I do not understand it I don't understand anyway so you know I've been keeping up with the show watching and yeah that has been my reason for watching honestly I'm not going to lie because I cannot wait to see what happens with that particular couple please say more about the clip when did you see that really caught your attention I think we talked about this well we've all seen the viral clip of their wedding as Nikki is walking down the aisle and meets Sean for the first time as he's meeting her for the first time she says something like oh am I supposed to stand here for my husband or something she looks confused as if she doesn't think that that's him and it's like she doesn't know she does not have a poker face at all but her face tells it all right and just looks like she'd just rather be somewhere else but eventually like in her vows she it seemed like she just settled and just said okay well I'm a sapiosexual blah blah blah I'm like and the way he just kind of didn't acknowledge her reaction was also telling because I'm like well we see how this is about to go from the start from the start but anyway what are your thoughts Nasha do you have a couple that you've been following their story very closely definitely Sean and Nikki I've been watching Married at First Sight for a few years I got into the show during the pandemic because all I had was time so I was catching up and the matchmakers are new this season I'm not sure if you knew and I don't know I feel like lately the show hasn't produced a couple that stayed together for the long run so that does make me sad so I would say yeah Nikki and Sean definitely stand out to me I feel like they are both competing to be something in the relationship I feel like that's what you think the problem is I know she ain't attracted to this man I think that's the main problem and I'm like why are we pretending like you can't I don't know I mean whatever go ahead I mean and I think also his background and education and him being brilliant and excellent and a high achiever the way he approaches the relationship is almost through that lens there's like very academic yeah yeah and I'm just like well that ain't gonna help with the intimacy and the attraction I don't think and y'all can y'all can fight me on this but I do not think that you can create physical attraction out of nothing right if it's not there it's not there so and that's why I've only watched two episodes this season I don't think I'll complete the rest of the season I only watched it to prepare for this segment because I just don't I don't agree with the premise of the whole thing like I don't believe in marriage at first sight don't believe in marriage don't believe that love is blind don't believe that you can find the love of your life on an island in Fiji but I do empathize with the necessity of enduring like these drastic measures to find love because I do think that romantic love is partially an outcome of luck and some people just aren't lucky and I think that's a harsh reality but I think that's something that is why people are going on shows like this because it's hard and like I'm kind of like one of the unlucky ones too like you just people just aren't lucky I for sure agree with the idea of it being luck because I think you know you can and I feel like that is why people do stuff like this because they're trying to increase the odds of their luck right and it's you know we I think we have a very romanticized view yes of finding a person and it's going to be your forever person and we think it's easy but it's not it's not a romantic comedy story starring Jennifer Lopez right life is not that yes but it's hard I think it's really hard so and how about the one the one person who was like I don't know the difference between love and like and I was like what the hell you doing on this show maybe you should start there you should start with that before you get married well y'all have to let me know what happens because I won't be watching but I'll you know let me know and they usually have a reunion show too so there'll be a lot to report back on there will well well well that's all we have time for today I was trying to think of something witty but I just could not some of those couples should be saying goodbye yes speaking of goodbye yeah and they will they will so until next time y'all bye bye thanks for listening to It's UATL UATL is a source for black culture and community in Atlanta powered by the Atlanta Journal Constitution and its supporters the show is hosted by Nedra Rohn DeAsia Page and me Nadja Parker if you liked the episode be sure to follow us and leave us a rating and review it really helps It's UATL wouldn't be possible without our lead producer Isabel Kirby McGowan and producer Kara Schillen extra support from Ron Williams our executive producer is Gavin Godfrey Megan Nadolski is our senior producer and Samantha Stambler is the head of audio special thanks 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