Reddit’s Most Shocking Relationship Secrets

Hi everyone, it's Vanessa Richardson. Real quick before today's episode, I want to tell you about a show I host with forensic psychologist Dr. Tristan Engels. It's called serial killers and murderous minds. Every Monday and Thursday, we take you deep into the psychology of the most chilling murderers and uncover what drives them to kill. Follow serial killers and murderous minds, available wherever you listen to podcasts. This is Crime House. As I was pulling into my apartment parking lot, I see a car speeding towards me. Sure enough, it was Lucy's car. Am I this terrifying? I know. I think she was aiming for me, but I steer the car away, so she ended up crashing into the rear door behind me and destroying both of our cars. She literally drove her car into the original poster's car. Yeah. Insane. Trying to kill her. Yes. If you're loving crimes of Reddit, please follow rate and review us wherever you listen. It helps us build this community and we love hearing from you. To get early access and ad-free listening, subscribe to the Crime House Plus community on Apple podcasts. You can also catch us on YouTube where we include visuals that bring every case to life. Hello and welcome back to crimes of Reddit. Hi. Welcome back. We've reached a phase in our friendship where we're wearing matching outfits. Literally, and the text exchanges are just, um, updating like, exactly. No, in our matches, I would, I would love, I love a onesie. We have to get some. And I don't know why, but I feel like a onesie should be worn with like, toe socks. Yes. I actually that really gives me the, well, I want the onesie with the hoods with little ears on them. Oh my god. Wait, I sent you that sweatshirt with the devil horns. That should be our Halloween outfit. Coming soon. Yep. To an episode of crimes of Reddit. More matching outfits of Alexis and I. Absolutely. Yeah. I've missed you. I missed you. It's been a minute. I know. And we've missed all of you. We saw you last week, but we haven't seen each other Alexis and I in some time. Six weeks. I don't know that people know the, the history of our friendship that the universe brought us together. It was fate. It was destiny. We knew each other at a previous lifetime. It really was. And I was just telling everyone I know, though, how lucky I am that we hit it off so effortlessly. Yeah. What a fantastic thing. I, it happens. Could you imagine? It happens because people are weird. As we know from these stories on Reddit, there's some strange people out there. Many. Yeah. It is a great transition into today, into this episode. And every episode of Crimes of Reddit, well, what's today's topic? Today's topic is relationship stories. Okay. So, you know, really dark things that are happening behind closed doors. And you and I both, we've talked about this a little bit on the show and I've sent plenty of voice notes to you about my relationship, escapades. Yeah. Or what's the word I'm looking for? "Wose" of the "Wose" of my relationships. Yeah. There's a lot that happens in relationships that are good, hopefully, but also a lot of bad. And things that people often hide and don't share because it's embarrassing or it's scary. But thank God for Reddit. Yes. Where people feel safe to share all the nitty gritty details. Well, what's interesting too is like, when I think back on my relationships, the weirdest, most up experiences I've had with other people are not romantic relationships. And I think that's what makes it interesting because I think some of these stories to go beyond romantic relationships because that's what's expected. But friendships get weird, co-worker relationships get weird. Not jinxing us right now. Yeah, I know. But they do. Not us. Yeah. We're besties. I feel like we said we would say the inside to our relationship and then we just said we loved each other and moved past it. Okay. And together for the show. Yes. But we knew people who knew each other, you knew my ex before I knew you. That's right. And then, yeah, we were brought together by the universe and now we're obsessed with each other. Yes. Yeah. Like, favorite person I wish I could see every day. I know. It is sad. I know. I do text you every day. I feel like our relationship should get together. It is. And I feel like a lot of our relationship is, I miss you. I know. Yeah. It's true. Something is happening in Dawson Creek. A wave of violence has swept over this community of just 13,000 people. It's like the kind of stuff you only hear about on TV. 15 murders in the last five years. Some criminals, I put them into the category of supervillains. I'm Timothy Sawa and from CBC's Uncover and the 5th Estate, an investigation into deaths and disappearances in Dawson Creek and what's behind it all. And I'm not saying in other words, leave me alone. The Miles Zero murders, available now on CBC Listen or wherever you get your podcasts. This time we're going to switch it up a little bit where we both have the theme, but we don't know what stories either one's going to share, but I'll start with a story and then you'll read a story and we'll kind of switch back and forth like that. Okay, before we get into the first story, we do want to give a content warning for today's episode. There are mentions of attempted murder, suicide and mental illness. So please listen with care. Okay, this one is called, "My boyfriend lied to me about having cancer." Already know. It was posted on the relationship advice. Subreddit? Okay, five years ago. So a while back, I met a guy. We were both in the same friend group at college, but didn't know each other at all. He came to me and introduced himself seemingly flirting and we went on a couple of dates and things were looking good. A couple a month or so in, he confessed to me that he had lung cancer. He said it was still in an early stage and that he had already started chemo and that he hadn't told anybody else about it. Not going to lie, that made us get really, really close from casually hanging out to being together all the time. He said that the hospital he was going to for his treatment every now and again was in a different city about five to six hour drive, but he went by plane. And he insisted that he wanted to go alone regardless of the countless attempts that I made to go with him. He would say it would make him feel uncomfortable, but he'd always call after his treatments with the most aching voice telling me it was hard, but it was over. Even though we weren't living together, we'd still spend many continuous nights at each other's apartments and now I'm definitely not an expert, but signs were really weird. He never lost an inch from his long hair was always in tip top shape and didn't take any medication, but I never brought any of this up for obvious reasons. Five long months in, he told me he finally beat it. I was concerned and I wanted something physical to really believe that he had beat it. Finally, I asked him for some proof saying that it was to see if he was lying about beating it. I just wanted to feel better. I pushed on, and after some time, he told me it was all a lie. Already if you need proof, she knew. She had a feeling. He down she knew. All of it was a lie. He never had cancer. That's insane. The countless nights I went to sleep thinking I might never see him again. The tears I shed after each fake phone call were all for nothing. He'd never had cancer. I mean, I think it's sick to lie about, I mean, there are real people battling very severe cancers. So, lying at all is weird, elaborate lies are especially disturbing. Like, white lies, I could maybe forgive, but I still get rooted out by that. Elaborate lies, I think it's, there's mentally something wrong there. Right. Especially this, it seems very attention-starved. People who like, like stolen valor, like when you fake, being a military hero or like when you fake having a deadly illness, I just can't understand what the motive is, like what is your end game? Well, so the OP says, he said he did it to make us get closer because he really liked me, but didn't know if I felt the same. No. Like, who thinks like that? Bucked up people. Yeah. Watch out at him, yelling for what seemed like an eternity while he was mostly silent, just crying and saying how sorry he was, but I was more angry than relieved. So, now, a week later, he reached out to me asking if I'd be willing to forgive and forget the audacity. I don't know if it was because of his fake disease, but we actually had a great time together, and it would be even better without him being sick, so I'm as confused as it gets. I mean, this is a little bit of love bombing, too, because it's like he manipulated the circumstances of which your intimacy grew, which means you, like, kind of can't trust the foundation that your relationship was built on. And it's a real thing. I had an ex-boyfriend who I was with for five years, and he did suffer, like, a very catastrophic medical thing out of nowhere where he needed to get brain surgery, and it really does create this fear. Like, when you think someone's going to die, it creates this like, this crazy thing that happens in your brain, where you're like, this future you might have is threatened, and it really is this very, like, oxytocin, chemicals in your brain creates just like, you hold on to them tighter in the moment. And then you, you're desperate not to lose them, and it does create this, like, emotional pull that I feel like can't be made any other way. So it is so manipulative what this guy has done to her and I understand why the OP now at this point would be confused because they've built all of these emotions and feelings for someone. So they do love him. But how do you reckon the two versions of someone one that was you fell in love with but is the lie? Anyway, well this guy's just willing to manipulate her to create anything. You know the manipulation, it just shows that that's a default like tool. Yeah, so the OP says on one hand we really bonded regardless of the short time but on the other hand that is a huge lie and I don't even think red flag is enough of a word. I haven't discussed this with anybody yet which is why they took to read it and other than this post I guess because of how crazy the story is I could really use some opinions. What do you guys think? And they said for context we're both international students at the same university both from different countries so I never had a chance to speak with their family to understand if this like was a real condition. And also why would you question that? Especially I don't know I'm not trying to speak in just sweeping generalizations I might sound like that but especially men typically don't want to be perceived as weak or sick in my experience. So it's just a strange elaborate manipulative lie to choose. I feel like you could have opted for a different one. And also a disturbing one. Let's just say this. If you're not sure if someone likes you just ask instead of saying you have cancer. Yeah there's other ways to get vulnerable right or maybe that's not your person. Yeah maybe no one's your person if you're lying about having a serious cancer. We'll read some comments but then I'm curious what you would do in the situation. I would be really worried that this is not worth his lies and and I'd be really I'd wish that I could warn other people. Yeah because this sounds like a gateway lie. Well and he's saying that he is getting treatment five to six hours away and is going where is he going and calling you with a sore throat being like that was really really tough but it's over. Honestly that's crazy. There are all these true crime stories where the husband is living this double life where one I'm thinking of is that the husband had this whole lie about getting into medical school and they were going to move to get into medical school because the the wife was going to go with him and then the wife found out that it was a lie and he murdered her like it's like when the walls close in when you build entire lives around lies there's no telling how desperate the liar will get and what they'll do to protect their lie. I do think lying is the one especially lying to this extent is like unforgettable to me. If it's that easy for you to lie there's just no trust. I just don't trust a mind that acts that way because I personally don't lie because I can't keep up. I don't care enough and it feels emotionally exhausting for me to lie because then I'm like keeping a ledger in my head of what I'm told. In people who that's easy for terrifying me that shouldn't be easy. Scary. It reminds me of the whole Bill Gibson case. Yes. Yeah. And she did it on like a massive scale where she told the whole world. Yeah. Oh that was terrifying. Yeah. And there are a lot of cases like that. Okay so some of the comments one said as a middle aged guy just married to my partner for over 10 years and having mentored many young adults. I have some very strong opinions about this issue. Yes. The general consensus along a relationship advice subreddit is that everything is a red flag. Everyone says break up. Well in this case the dude literally manipulated your emotions to make you get closer to him. Meaning he has some fucked up issues. He lied to you about having cancer. I can laugh about how I met my spouse and how our relationship formed. But if he's going to be this neurotic early on do not waste time staying in something with a likelihood of similar behaviors. Someone else said as an actual legitimate cancer survivor myself I consider this unacceptable. It is rude and awful in every single way to those of us who have actually had to fight cancer. Playing with your emotions that way is also inexcusable. Any person with a sense of decency wouldn't have even thought about doing this to you to bring you closer. This is my favorite comment. For given forget bitch bye. I agree. That's I think that's the takeaway from the story. I don't think these are harsh enough. Like I think a person who's capable of this is dangerous. Like I think if they can do this they're capable of way worse. Yeah. Yeah. And you just also see in the tactics of the way that they set it up of like I haven't told anyone else. Keep this between us. I'm struggling. Yeah. And unfortunately there aren't any updates about this and I did click on the username. My favorite thing on Reddit is to click on like the original posters user name and see what they've interacted with on Reddit elsewhere. Yeah. Nothing. And it is sad because the way the post is left is like I love him. Do I forgive and forget. I hope you didn't. Here's a thing. I feel like people often go to Reddit because they already know the answer and they know the people in their real life will tell them to bail and that's not what they want to hear. They want to hear the one contrarian person who's going to say you know this could have been a one off. Like that's what they're looking for because they want an excuse to give them a chance because his manipulation worked and those feelings are there now. And I have done that 100%. I have done that. I've stayed when like objectively I look back and I'm I and I've told you a lot of these things where I'm like that's crazy. Oh yeah. I should have broken up with most of my boyfriends because of misretement and I'm like no I love you. Right. I can fix you. Yeah we were both saying we're really bad at breaking up with people. Oh yeah. So I just misbehaved until I get dumped. My way out. Which is a whole other tactic. You know. Yeah. Make them break up with you. That's right. Then you're always the the good one. Yeah. Perfect little angels here on these couches and matching outfits. That's right. That's us. One summer evening when she was 20 years old something terrible happened to Viana Luke. I can't figure it out but I do know that it was a violation. Then people started asking questions. What a creep. Who else knows about this? From CBCs personally this is Agent Leila. The story of how a victim went undercover. So bring it on. Let's go. Let's get a confession. Available now on CBC Listen or wherever you get your podcasts. So next story that Sabrina has not yet heard that she's bracing for. Yes I am. So holding onto my butt. How do I 28 female tell my husband 27 male. His brand new car has been totaled. And this story's fascinating because it's not going to go where you may be thinking it's going. Okay. I did want some scratch my ex's car and I said I didn't know how it happened. Once I was following an ex driving behind him and he stopped at a stop sign and I rear-ended him by accident. And he was like he got out of the car. He's like what? What? How? I'm like I do not know. I do not know. It's hilarious. And I like don't really get an accident. I don't know what happened. Anyways, I love that. It was funny. So I'm glad everyone's okay. It's better to rear end someone that you know I think. I mean it's awkward. He was really confused. He's like how could you do this? I'm like I don't know. We should have broken up then. You should have taken it as a sign. You did it on purpose to try to get him to break up with you. That's right. Yeah it was your tactic. Okay. How do I tell my husband that his brand new car has been totaled? So original poster. This happened earlier today and I've been in emotional wreck all day so I'm sorry if I ran ball. This will probably only make sense if I tell you a bit about my ex-friend. So another person's entering the picture. Okay. Let's call her Lucy. I met her in freshman year of college and she was part of a larger friend group because we all lived in the same dorm. For as long as I've known her she has had pretty significant mood swings. Sounds fun. I get you Lucy. Sometimes she was a super sweet and caring person but when she gets stressed she would become verbally and physically abusive and blame everything in the universe if there's something negative happening in her life. Her abusive side has gotten progressively worse since college. She's. Have you ever had a friend like this? No but I've dated people like this. I've had a friend like this. Actually I have had a friend like that but she was undiagnosed and then like had to go get help and then now is no longer like that. I'm pretty sure mine was like a sociopath. Oh but that's for another another day. She continues. I could write a whole book about Lucy but I'll spare you the details because it's not directly related to the advice I'm trying to get. So over the last couple of years each of the people in our friend group have cut contact with Lucy and I think I was probably the last one to still respond to her. Every conversation I have with her goes in circles and she ends up back in a state of anger and frustration and I usually hang up when she hurls verbal abuse at me as you should. Yeah. I met my husband about three years ago and he's always been incredibly supportive of me. I invented two him many times about Lucy because interactions with her always leave me feeling emotionally drained and feeling like I'm going crazy. He has encouraged me many times to cut off contact with her because quote it's not worth setting yourself on fire to keep her warm. So early advice. I use that quote all the time. I was I've never heard that before. My husband taught this quote to me and it's always about like one sided relationship and like sacrificing your own feelings for someone else Yep, and I'd never heard anyone else use it. So I was delighted that it was here. Love that. It's a great quote So she says earlier this month. I finally blocked her now. Here's where it gets juicy Earlier today, I ran into Lucy at the grocery store and she confronted me about why I haven't been responding to her She started screaming. Imagine this screaming in the grocery store at someone. Oh, I would for sure if I'm in the grocery store shopping I for sure pause and like listen. Oh, and then I'd be I'd text you and I'd be like you have no idea what I'm watching right now Get at the popcorn. So she started screaming so I left the grocery store and went home But as I was pulling into my apartment parking lot, I see a car speeding towards me Sure enough, it was Lucy's car and I think she was aiming for me But I steer the car away so she ended up crashing into the rear door behind me, meaning you know the back seat It's so it's her car. Yes, the car the original poster is driving is hit by Lucy in the back of the car Yes, so Lucy crashes into the car and destroys both cars Before I was able to compose myself after the crash she drove off with a front part of her car missing Hit and run. Yeah, I mean, that's what it is. Yeah, I know so that like she was intending real harm. That's right Original poster says I called the police and told them everything thinkfully. I'm an injured Now this is interesting. This is the actual advice. This pivot now is what she's after Okay, and I think the response she gets from Redditors is so interesting. Okay, so She says all afternoon. I've been calling insurance and trying to look for options to get the car fixed nothing's finalized But the insurance agent said judging by the pictures They're not optimistic that it's fixable meaning the car is probably going to be totaled Now original poster says this I know I need to tell my husband But how do I tell him the car that he's been saving up for for years and then spending months waiting for to arrive is damage beyond repair So that's what this post is not her fault. She is afraid to tell her husband So she's looking for a reason to she's looking for a way to tell her husband this news without devastating him I mean, I think he should be grateful that you're alive Right, so where is she hiding the car trying to not tell her here's what she she says next So she says part of me knows it outwardly. He'll just brush it off say he's happy that I'm safe In that objects can be replaced, but I'm scared that he'll resent me He loves this car. He jokes about how it's like his firstborn child. We don't have kids yet And it's the holidays, you know, what kind of crap holiday present is it to find out that your brand new car You got two weeks ago is totaled now her worry She goes on to explain that because her husband encouraged her to contact with Lucy long ago And she didn't heed that warning That her husband will be angry that like had you just listened to me This never would have happened in my car would not be destroyed, but I would argue Anytime she tried to cut off a relationship with Lucy Lucy would have reacted this way sure So she goes on to say and explain that her husband is on business trip and we'll be coming back Friday and that's how He doesn't know about it yet That's why he doesn't know about it yet And she also explains that her own car just happens to be in the shop, which is why she's driving her husband's brand new car She also explains it's a Tesla. So even if there's an insurance payout It's going to take at that time of this post the waiting list was a year They had waited six months for this first car. Gotcha. So that's all of the context she provides about why she's afraid to tell her husband Now obviously Redditors are kind of bringing her with their comments down to earth and saying you realize that Lucy attempted to murder you This is attempted murder 100% and people are wondering like are you in shock And not realizing what had happened because this was traumatic or is your husband an asshole who actually is going to get mad And not focus on the relief that you are safe An additional question I have is she called the police and I know it's technically a hit and run like Lucy went away But we know it was Lucy. So wouldn't insurance cover all of this and like it's really not that right so we have an update Okay, so after the original poster called the police She was arrested Lucy was arrested as a result. Okay, so here's the update I posted earlier this week to ask for advice about how to tell my husband his new car got totaled When my ex friend that I cut off rammed into me I appreciate everyone taking the time to give me advice I wasn't thinking clearly it was really helpful to get some online strangers to talk some sent me and this is the beauty of reddit right like She didn't want to tell anyone like because it seemed like maybe she was thought she was deceiving or husband by keeping it a secret Not telling him right away. So strangers felt like the only place Maybe she could turn to without that lie growing and telling people right maybe mutual friends or whatever So she says I hadn't really processed that someone I had known for seven years actually almost killed me As for breaking the news to my husband that didn't turn out quite the way I expected I knew I had to tell him as soon as possible and I was trying to figure out the best way But about 20 minutes after I made my post he actually called me in a panic because he was afraid I was in a coma or in the hospital or something turns out Teslas are very much tethered to the Tesla phone apps. Oh yeah And the Tesla apps have a lot more bells and whistles than I understood It sent him several notifications and videos from the car's camera about the crash But he didn't see them until the evening because his company has a strict policy about only company issued phones Being on them during business hours. Oh, and then he hadn't heard from her all days or he thinks the worst Yeah, and I'm sure it was like a tear that POV because Teslas I think have cameras all around Yeah, so imagine that POV how scary that would have been so He was greeted by multiple notifications of this crash Since by that point it had been many hours. He was scared that the worst had happened At first he was just mad at me for not calling him immediately on his work phone I apologize profusely and explain the whole story His frustration obviously just turned into concern and he insisted I go see a doctor So obviously like he's not the asshole she was in shock. Yeah, and I do think there's some like especially with an abusive friend I think there's some weird Dissociative thing that might have happened to her. Yeah, because it's also like very hard to accept someone You've known for a long time made excuses for refused to cut off even though everyone else did would Go as far as to try to hurt you physically to totally kill you. Yeah, it's really terrifying She says as for me I'm glad I escaped the crash mostly unscathed I got an urgent care appointment for the next day and the doctor concluded there wasn't anything seriously wrong with me But recommended I get a more comprehensive check from my primary care physician two of my teeth have been hurting since Tuesday And I'm not sure if it's related to the crash My husband suspects I might have bitten down too hard As always bracing myself for the crash that sounds like a reasonable Do we know if Lucy like was charged with anything? I know she was arrested but Yes, so in my original post I didn't say much about what happened with Lucy after the crash Because the post was already getting so long. I didn't want to keep going The police arrested her soon after the crash and called me to let me know apparently it was pretty easy because they found her at home And her bumper is in the front section of her car was missing and beaten up They asked her if she'd been in an accident earlier that morning And she told them on the elaborate harrowing story about how she'd barely escaped violent motorcycle gang You're stuck Okay This was all told to me by the detective assigned in my case. I didn't want to stir us myself I've been in contact with the other people from my college friend group that also knew Lucy And they all expressed a mix of sympathy, mild surprise, and appreciation for me giving them hats up One of my friends actually had a situation a couple years ago where Lucy threatened to hurt my friend's dog After she cut contact with Lucy, but nothing ended up happening. So they forgot about it and moved on I really hope Lucy is getting help I gave Sabrina a book last time I saw her dead and that book has taught me the framework about How to know whether someone evil someone's evil and can be like fixed with the title of it again The people of the lie and this psychiatrist of Scott peck would say that's what he calls evil people the people of the lie You know and he says you don't need to be violent, but it's repeated malicious behavior that Is how you know someone's evil right and Lucy sounds like she Is doing these evil things to people she knows over and over so and I think it's the lack of accountability and lack of Active steps towards improvement. Yeah, I mean if all of your friends are cutting you off. Yeah, systematically like I think There's a lot about you with a common denominator, but anyways, so my husband and I are searching for lawyers to help us with filing a restraining order As well as well as exploring other possible legal actions But we haven't gotten many replies back because it's the holidays I doubt it'll be worth the time and money to sue Lucy for damages Yeah, but she should be prosecuted criminally Unfortunately, yeah, she doesn't give an update about that, but because a detective is assigned to the case I can only imagine you know this post this update happened pretty close to the event And it was right after the detective said what happened when Lucy was arrested So we can only assume that criminal action was pursued because that's up to the state not to original poster, because that's what intent to kill with a vehicle in like deadly weapon. Yeah, you know, that's how they categorize cars when situations like this happen. So scary. Yeah. That's it. We don't know what happened. No, we don't know what happened. But I think I think what this story is doing is like showing us tangled responses to relationships. It's like 100% yeah. And that is such a it's literally a crime. It's literally a crime. Yeah. And I think listen, I'm never going to be the person who's like listen to men, listen to your husband. But if all of your friends have cut off this toxic person in your husband who based on what you described of him is a loving caring person is giving you the advice that like this person is really bad for you. Yeah. I think it's okay to listen to a man in that situation. Totally. It's tough though, because how do you handle a relationship with someone as volatile as Lucy? Because there's no healthy way to cut off a relationship like that. Clearly, Lucy's going to react extremely violently, no matter what. Even if the original poster like stop responding, the reaction would have been the same. Like Lucy would have been like, you stop responding to me. Or even if you tried to say like, Hey, I need to take some space. I think Lucy would have reacted voluntarily as well. So in a volatile way. My former best friend was like Lucy. Never took it to the point of ramming you with a car, but would physically hurt you. I could not get away from her until I moved to California. So you physically had to well, it was she was my best friend from seventh grade to 12th grade. So when I graduated high school, I moved and I cut it off. It was like the only way I could do it. And thank God, when I graduated, there wasn't like social media wasn't big yet. Like, it was like my space and stuff, because she would have, she would have sought revenge in bigger ways. It gave her like enough time to get over it. I've seen her at some wedding sense. It's fascinating. Is it weird seeing her? It's really interesting actually. There's this woman I met who hosted a crime podcast. She was a podcast called Psychopedia. And she works with my Lucy. She became a lawyer. Lucy became a lawyer. My Lucy. I'll call her. Is this too many clues? I mean, she knows how I feel. It's okay. Well, this is the thing. So I met this podcaster, her name's investigator Slater, and I did an episode of her show. And she told me she knows this person. And I was like, oh my god. And she's like, I went to work and told her that I saw you. And she said, how much shit did she talk about me about me? And at least that she's self-aware. Is she, she was worried that I would tell. But I'm not going to say anymore. Like, you don't share the details. No, but it's like very funny, because we still have a couple mutual friends. Interesting. In a future episode, we won't say it's about your Lucy, but you'll tell some we can tell some more specifics. Yes. And then all of you who clearly deep dive and do Reddit rabbit holes like we do are going to piece it together. 100%. Yeah. Okay. I have a final story. I'm ready. Okay. This story, I simultaneously loved it, but it's unhinged. Okay. I feel like I can relate to a certain extent. And it could be a book or a movie. But then it's creepy. Okay. Right. Oh, I can't wait. Okay. It is called an eye the asshole for hating my wife's creepy hobby project. Okay. This sounds insane, but I swear my wife is totally normal. Otherwise, which is what makes this so strange to me for context. We're both in our late 30s and live in a pretty typical suburban neighborhood where everyone knows everyone. My wife has always loved trashy movies and shows about infidelity and she eats up true crime about spouses killing their cheating partners too. I get it. Okay. No red flags yet. No, like I also love true crime. Yeah. She just says something about it makes her morbidly fascinated. Those are her words. Okay. Well, a couple months back, we had a scandal in our neighborhood where a married couple in the neighborhood divorced because the husband cheated. No, there wasn't a murder or anything like that, but my wife became obsessed with learning every single detail from all of the neighbors. No matter the occasion, a baby shower, a cookout, whatnot, she would bring this affair up, hoping to get information from other people in the neighborhood. One month later is when I stumbled upon the board in her home office. I was doing some cleaning and I found a massive bulletin board facing away leaned up against the wall. Curiosity got the better of me and I turned it around to find a literal conspiracy board with all of our neighbor's pictures on the board with lines of yarn connecting each other like the fucking Pepe Silvia meme, which I love that meme. Yeah. I was totally confused and I asked what it was and she told me it's a hobby that she started recently where she would track rumors and likely candidates in our neighborhood for cheating on the board. The yarn represented who was possibly cheating with whom. So she would like connect neighbors with different yarn. Is it bad that I like her? It starts out okay. Yeah. No, I agree. I'm like honestly, I've heard of worse hobbies. Yes. Okay. So it starts out okay. Very relatable. She clearly got in these images on Facebook or social media printed them out and even had a few sticky notes with details. I told her this is creepy and insane and she said maybe if I was doing it as a man but that she's just having harmless fun as a hobby and wouldn't be crazy or and wouldn't try to oust anyone based on rumors. She just likes feeling like a detective. Still agree with her. She told me to view it like a creative art piece. It is. I was still super weirded out but I let it go or I tried but I couldn't stop thinking about it. Every now and then I admit I would go and check on the board when cleaning. But just a couple days ago I looked to see that now I was on the board with yarn attached to a neighbor's wife that I'm casual friends with. I asked her why she would add me and if she thought I was cheating and she said that that was a different yarn color for potential matches for cheating. So it was like they could potentially have an affair. So she's saying if anyone in the neighborhood, if my husband was going to cheat with anyone it would be her. Yeah. She said if it made me feel better she was going to add herself to the board soon. I got pissed and I kind of lost my temper about it and I told her to get rid of the board or our marriage would be in trouble and things have been really rocky ever since. Sorry for the long post. I'm starting to feel bad and it hit me more than usual this morning. Should I apologize to her? And before you ask no I don't suspect her of cheating. Honestly I wish she was because at least it would make more sense than all of this and I the asshole. I think so. I think it's harmless right now but I do understand being concerned and upset that your wife is conspiring that you would potentially cheat on. It completely depends for me on the type of relationship you have. Because I know couples who are really playful and funny and it's like oh look at so and so like if I die you're probably gonna end up with that person. It just depends on the tone. But that feels like that's like a bonding between two people whereas this is her in her own time spinning these like conspiracies or potential plot twists that aren't real. Yeah. So I don't think it's necessarily that he's an asshole and based on what happens next. I do understand. Oh there's more. There's more. Oh well here's what I'll say before you continue. Yeah. I think it would be totally fair to be like I don't want to be involved in this board and I don't want you on this board. But have your little hobby. Right. Especially if it stops there. Suburbia. I mean there are so many shows about the drama in neighborhoods and I for sure would like buy into it. Yeah and also just like the nosy neighbor is such a common trope. Like there's always someone maybe not taking it to this extreme in a neighborhood but there's always one of these. I live in an apartment building where I for like months never saw my across the way so I could only really ever see into their windows neighbors during daylight. I only ever saw them at night and I was like their vampires obviously. Clearly. It's the only explanation. My conspiracy board. Okay so I'll give you the update. Okay. Firstly I appreciate all the all the concerns and everyone saying I'm not the asshole. It gave me the courage to approach my wife and tell her that while I may have overreacted by threatening our marriage I think that this is a creepy thing to do. She apologized and said she would get rid of the board so I thought we were good. Literally two days later. Two days later shit hits the fan. Our happily married next door neighbor finds a woman's bra under the bed that did not belong to her. So it didn't take long for the entire neighborhood to find out. When my wife found out she was giddy jumping up and down for joy. She shows me the board which she still didn't trash like she promised she would. And of course the husband next door was marked with yarn meaning he was likely to cheat. She told me that it validated her that her board was accurate and that maybe she should keep her hobby because she's on to something. I was definitely suspicious, so I looked at the board again later, and it looked different from the last time I saw it before the latest scandal. Instead of the yarn connecting to another neighbor, the cheating husband's yarn connected to a post-it with a question mark. Firstly, it was the only question mark there and I swore it wasn't their last time I saw the board. So either she changed it after the cheating to prove a point or slightly before it happened, which made me even more suspicious either way. Now, I felt like I was being the detective, and I felt like I was going crazy. Suspicious, I decided to go over to the cheating husband's house to ask a few more questions. The wife was staying at her parents, so it was just the two of us. I asked if he actually did cheat, and he said no, he would never. I then asked if my wife had been over recently, so his gut is telling him that, yeah. He said that, yes, your wife was over one day while you were at work, and apparently his wife had asked her to come over to water the plant they had while they were away. So he told her where the key was and showed her the plant. I immediately raised an eyebrow. I asked if he still had the bra that was found under the bed, and he started getting nervous until me not to get the wrong idea. I said, don't worry, he did still have the bra. I looked at it. It was my wife's. But I knew she almost never wore it because it was from a lingerie said that I bought her one Christmas that she never wore because she said it was uncomfortable. I told my neighbor that I needed to talk to my wife, and I ran out, but I told him not to worry. I approached my wife with the bra and asked her what the hell was going on. She played stupid, but I told her to cut the BS, and I asked if she had cheated on me with the neighbor, or if she planted it there. Either way, she was in trouble. She confessed that she did plant the bra and said it was to make me admit that her hobby was valid. I flipped on her. I said this was worse than her cheating on me because instead of ruining just our marriage, she was now ruining our neighbors and ours. I demanded she call the wife and admit to everything, even sending pictures of the board. I even showed her the Reddit post that I'm not reading. I'm barely speaking to my wife. It's only a matter of time before the entire neighborhood figures this out. I seriously need advice. She took a little too far away too far. I always think about people like this, imagine if they had put their skills to something productive. She's obviously extremely smart and cunning and has a lot of time. She has a curious mind, and I like people like that. People who can juggle a lot. I think about Luca Magnata, who don't fuck with Katz guy, a million user names, a million lies. People who can juggle this stuff, I'm fascinated by it. You could probably be a billionaire, yet you're doing this. This actually really reminds me of I read a Freedom McFadden book called Dear Debbie, and it's a very similar concept where this obsession with the neighbors turns kind of, I mean, in that book, it's deadly, but in this version, it's, yeah, it's taking a hobby that gives you maybe some purpose to an extreme that now you're no longer theorizing about what could be happening. You're manipulating other people's lives and people are getting hurt. You're having fun, at the expense of other people. When she's seeing it as mischievous, harmless, but it's not, it's really dark, and it does worry me, you know, it's like, she's not quite as bad as Lucy. I was going to say, do you think she has potential to come back from this? I don't know. Wow. I mean, I can't, maybe a husband. I've heard a lot of stories about husbands like knowing their wife is doing crazy shit. It's just kind of different when you're married. It's a lot harder to justify leaving if no one's been like physically hurt. Friendship? No, I would never be friends with it. If I found out, if I was the neighbor, I would find out a way to sue or have her arrested. I would be so disturbed. Yeah. Yeah, I would never want to live next to her ever again. It's pretty dangerous that you're willing to, it's also so violating. It's like she trusted you to water her plants when she was out of town and you tried to destroy her marriage to prove to your husband that your red string board is worth continuing. And I feel like, and it didn't get to this point, but I feel like had this continued, it would have gotten to a place where original posters wife would have had an actual affair rather than just planting evidence to make it look that way in order to pursue a plot. And I think that's dangerous. But do you think the original posters wife can come back from this in the sense of doing therapy and toning it back? Maybe. Maybe it's an impulse control thing. Like I'd have to know more about her, you know, but like, probably not. I just think if you're willing, I probably got a pessimistic attitude. I just think, I think about, I think if you're a teenager or in college and you do something messed up before 26, I can be like, yeah, you can change. Your brain's not fully developed. You haven't really developed your empathy or long-term consequence understanding. But I just mean, I just mean in your early 20s, I can also forget you hear stories about people who do fucked up shit in college when they're hazing people, getting in a frass. And you can kind of find like, okay, it's like this group thing, peer pressure, impulse control. You can kind of understand, you regret it. Okay. You learn from it. Like shoplift. But if you're an adult shoplifting, I don't think you can come back from that. Like I think once you understand consequence, it depends on what the content is. If you are shoplifting to feed your family, that's different desperation. But I just, no, I don't think if you're willing to violate someone's home, that entitlement to somebody else's life and disregard for the outcome of how you're harming them, I don't think you can come back from that. I think this one she could come back from. Also have you seen the drama? No, it's good. Okay. It's a movie with Robert Pattinson and the daya. I had no idea what it was about, but basically like right before they get married, they can fast the worst thing that they ever have done in their lives. I've seen the clip of what you're talking about, and it's a very interesting thought exercise. I actually started to watch it on a plane and turned it off because I was bored. I watched it on the plane right here for like a psychological conversation. It's really interesting because she confesses that when she was 15, she was going to do a mass shooting. And so it goes back to this conversation of like, is that forgivable? She didn't do it. But then it does change your perspective on her. No, I think that's forgivable because they're talking about with school shooters and such. Like the interventions, like obviously they're having a mental health crisis, like they're children. I think they can be re-adultated, but I think that's so interesting. It's such an interesting conversation to have. Okay. We do have one final update. Okay. Original poster says it's been months since the last update, sorry, I've been busy. Long story short, my wife is in a mental health facility. After what had happened previously, I didn't speak to my wife for a while. I tried to stay working or out of the house as often as I could. A few weeks passed and time made it seem like less and less of a big deal. Finally, my wife offered to take me out to a very nice center to make things up to me. She told me everything was behind her and while I was avoiding her, she'd actually started online therapy to get help and realize now what she did was wrong. I really believed her. We had a great night, one thing led to another, and yeah, it took about two days after that for her to get a pregnancy test and she told me that it was a positive result. How many days? Two. Okay. He literally says, yeah, I know some of you are already thinking I'm a fucking moron. Yeah, but it had been rough year and this made me really happy. I started getting very excited. We started talking about turning my home office into a baby room, looking up ways to prepare, booking appointments, planning a shower, etc. I got really caught up in that whirlwind. Unfortunately, she told me the first ultrasound was at a time that I had to be at work and she would have to go alone. This really bummed me out and I asked her to reschedule, but she said it was the only availability. Well, that next week she went and I was waiting for an update or pictures or anything, nothing. She came home and was super quiet and I flipped out and got super worried that the worst had happened. I told her I understood she was probably in a lot of pain about something, but she had to tell me. She finally admitted it wasn't a miscarriage. She was actually pregnant for longer than she thought. longer than the last time we had sex, meaning she got pregnant during the time we were avoiding one another, meaning she cheated. Obviously, I was so mad and upset and I couldn't understand why she would do this to me, but then I realized all of the signs were there for so long. There were a lot of comments of people telling me she was probably cheating and turned out you were right, but I tried to keep a clear head for at least a second because I really love my wife and I couldn't believe it. I asked her who it could have been and she said she didn't know. She said she hadn't done it with anyone during the time I was avoiding her. She swore it. Obviously, she was lying. I thought about it and realized if she was really pregnant for that long, she should have been showing, but wasn't. I decided to call the clinic and ask for confirmation of what my wife had told me and they told me something worse than I expected. She actually never went to the clinic. I didn't understand that at all. Before I talked to my wife again, I did what I should have done in the first place and reverse image search the pregnancy. test image she had shown me. It was on Google from a random years old Facebook post. And again, I was really mad at my wife and couldn't believe she would put me through all of this. I confronted her about the picture and I told her that I called the clinic and there was no appointment that she hadn't been there. So I told her she had this pattern of lying and that this was probably the end of our relationship. She responded in a way I didn't expect. She burst into tears and went manic, which I did expect. But then she said she really had cheated on me and really was pregnant and that I made this all up in my head because I couldn't face what she did to me. She said that she felt like the devil and Hitler and started sobbing and literally screaming at the top of her lungs. She locked herself in the bathroom and I couldn't get the door open and freaked out and called the cops and they had to break the door down. She was not hurt but she was really out of it. They took her to get a mental evaluation and she told them everything there. She even started mixing and stuff about the board and how she knew everyone around her was a cheater. So she had done the same thing because she was in evil place like she really it's sad to see like this deterioration. They did test her while she was in custody and no she is not pregnant at all. They told me she was likely suffering from a former schizophrenia and actually genuinely believe what she was saying. They said she had a symptom called self-accusation and needed help. I got her in a facility last week. She is safe. They are making a little progress. I do not think she thinks she's pregnant anymore and I visited a few times but she's very withdrawn and says she feels too guilty to look me in the eye. I think there was definitely meddling at certain parts like planting evidence but now I just feel terrible. I didn't get her the help that she needed when all the real signs were there which is so sad because he didn't know to the extent of it. I think it's layered. Yeah. He says I hope her medication starts to help and she can be normal again. But yeah, now the neighborhood gossip is having a field day about her. Anyway, thanks for listening. I hope this is my last update. Thanks for all of the help. And then a lot of people were commenting like I don't believe this story because there's no way the clinic would have told you this information and he didn't update. My wife has been to this clinic before. I'm an authorized contact so I can ask about her appointments. I also know the front desk lady so even if it wasn't allowed, she probably would have told me because we're friends. That's the last update we get about that story. It really pivoted. It's heartbreaking. It's layered though. I mean, I think the mental health issues are real. I also think if the husband was willing to believe that she was pregnant two days after their encounter that there's manipulation going on and has been for a long time. And that isn't always my job. Maybe you should go back to middle school and learn about the reproduction system. To be fair, I feel like I don't know. Even as a woman, I don't know a lot about the female reproductive system because we were not educated. And as I get older and I know friends of people who were pregnant, I'm like, wow, didn't know that. But yeah, it's sad. I also feel like and I can relate to this is I'm so afraid of being cheated on that I feel like I've almost caused it to happen. Self-filling prophecy. Yeah, totally. And I feel like there's an element of that in this story where she's so scared that she got wrapped up in it and obsessed with everyone else cheated. Where she was thinking about it. And this was like she was thinking about it before the board. And this maybe was like some coping mechanism that went haywire. Who knows? Who knows? Wow, what a story. What a roller coaster. What an episode. I know. Very heady. I mean, we've got some interesting like psychological elements in relationship dynamics. I'm into it. Me too. And also, we've been seeing that a lot of you are posting stories, your own stories and other stories on Reddit, on our subreddit, which is Crimes of Pod. And we're so excited. In the next episode, we're actually going to read a story that one of you submitted on there. So please keep adding and sharing stories you want to confess or other true crime crime related stories on that subreddit. I'm so excited. Me too. Thank you for joining us for Crimes of Reddit, a crime house original. Here at Crime House, we want to thank each and every one of you for your support. If you like what you heard today, reach out on all social media at Crime House. Don't forget to rate, review, and follow Crimes of Reddit wherever you get your podcasts. Your feedback really makes a difference. And again, if you find a Reddit crime story that you want us to cover, leave it here in the comments or also post it on our subreddit, Crimes of Pod, and maybe we'll feature it in a future episode. Bye! Chamba Casino is blooming with new games and free daily bonuses. Log in this week to catch the latest additions and keep the fun going strong. Join over a million players who make every spin a little celebration. There's always something new to enjoy. Chamba Casino, play for fun, stay for the surprises. Let's Chamba! One of everything you learned in history class was only half the story. I'm Dr. Herney Bot, I start as a clinical pharmacist, and somewhere along the way I became obsessed with the mysteries the history never fully solved. That's exactly why I created Hidden History, a rewind student's original podcast powered by Pave Studios. Every Monday, I go where history touches the unknown. Banner civilizations, doomsday prophecies, paranormal phenomena, and events that science still can't fully explain. I'll give you historical context, I'll break down the science, I'll even interrogate the supernatural. I treat these moments like open case files, not miss, not superstition, just incomplete explanations waiting for a closer look. And I'll ask the question, what if this happened today? 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