Reddit's Biggest Jerks w/ Pokimane | Reading Reddit Stories

Hi, welcome to Smoshreads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane and today's theme is Standard Am I the Asshole, but we have a very special guest today. We are joined by Pokemon. [cheering] The one who only led you. Oh my god, not everyone behind the set clip. Yeah, that's not happening. I will say. And you're also porkers here. [cheering] Oh please, please. [laughing] This is such an honor, seriously. No, when I tell you, I've been looking forward to this for like a week or two ever since we planned it. I reached out because I was like, "I love this format. I get to dive into the drama." And none of it is mine. Yeah, that is exactly it. That's the most fun, you know? It's pretty fun. Yeah, it's like a reality TV show. Yeah. That's right, who's wrong, let's find out. And we're like, it's just the confessionals, us just getting into it. Yeah. All right, well, should we begin? Let's do it. Okay, here we go. First one, comes from Am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for calling out my cousin when she tried to blame her body odor on me? [laughing] Hi, 18-year-old female, and from Ontario, Canada, and my cousin, 19-year-old female, is from Florida. I'm currently staying with her family in Florida. We were out at Midday at an outdoor restaurant, and my cousin's boyfriend, 20-year-old guy, was meeting us. My cousin had a sweaty body odor because she had an active day. The boyfriend kissed my cousin, and she introduced us. At the table, he made a face. When I was looking away, my cousin tried to whisper to her boyfriend, but I heard her. The smell is from OP. Please don't say anything. I said the smell is not from me. The boyfriend got his nose close to my cousin's upper body and smelled her. He kissed her on top of her head and told her it's humanizing when such a beautiful woman gets smelly. She laughed awkwardly on the ride back home. She told me that I unnecessarily embarrassed her. She said I broke Girl Code. Am I the asshole? You know, Girl Code? The smell is shame, it's not me. It could never be you. No, it's me. Girl Code, you must be stinky for me. You have to be stinky for me. Why? I didn't know that was part of the Girl Code. I will say it's not part of the Girl Code, but I do love my girlfriend so much I would do it for them. I'm so sorry. I was just running all day. I run so much all day. I never hate cardio. Well, I would take that for like a guy they like I would, but you don't need to. And you don't need to be expected to, you know? Right, that's like real friend behavior. I love that. Bestie behavior, even. I think, but I feel like you couldn't hold that up for very long. You know? Yeah, they're going to find out. If someone gets close, I also feel like wingman etiquette. If we're going to that is like, you can't expect your wingman to take the fall for you. Right. They have to do it for you. Yes. And be like, okay, sick, you're doing that. Yes. Thank you. Exactly that. They should take the lead in that. Right. Almost like improv. Yes. You just do it the same. And they didn't know. Right. Right. Do you guys get bothered by the smell of B.O. Does that smell bother you guys? Can I say some crazy? Let's do it, let's do it. There is such a thing as a good B.O. You know what I mean? Right. So I don't know if it's a pheromone. All right, right. There's a good B.O. And then there's, okay, maybe like convention, crazy convention B.O. Yes. Or it's like, yeah. Yes. No, yeah, it's a wine. You know? Yeah. This one's interesting. Aromatic. Oh, sometimes like, what should I be? This person smells like a good person. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Finally, I'm not alone in this room. Maybe it's a girl thing. Do you feel that? I have said this in multiple rooms. And people have been like, you're weird. I've been saying it. I've been saying it. I don't have a great sense of smell. So I'm never bothered by anyone smell. I'm never really noticing how anyone smells. And then occasionally, I am hit by a wall. And it's shocking when it happens. I'll be at the gym. And I'll be walking by. And like I said, unfazed. And I'll be walking. And some dude will walk past me. And I'll be like, oh my god. I'm like, you are working out. Hard, dude. Okay, but that doesn't count. You're like muted most of the time. Yeah. Guys, let us know in the comments. Do you think there's such a thing as good B.O.? Yeah. I also feel like, you know, whenever I kind of like a guy, I feel like their stink smells good to me. I told you. And that's natural. Isn't it like a science thing? I feel like that's gotta be. I feel like you hate green being like, yes. So there's a thing. Yeah. Please. Yeah. You stand on a first date. You're really nervous because you're like, oh, I don't want them to think I smell all the time. But then once you get to know them, it's like, hey, you get the gist that I'm not stinky most of the time. You know what? Not that I think about it more. I think that's a better time for girl code. Like it's a guy she just met. She really likes it. Except she wants to impress. I'd be like, oh my god, yeah, it's me. Why? If they actually happen to me, I'd be like, girl, why are you throwing me under the mustard necessarily? Yeah, right. Exactly. She knows you like, have you not stunk ever before? Yeah, absolutely. I have pushed the limon stink once. I pulled up to the gym and I realized I just had my sports run. I didn't have a shirt and I was like, I don't want to do this today. So I grabbed a shirt and at the time, I had a dog. And this shirt was the shirt they laid on a lot. And so I get working out. I start working up a sweat and then the dog smell mixed with the sweat. And I have never made myself like gag. I was really bad. That only fitness will never see me again. You were the wall at the gym that I talked about. The word I thought of when you started telling this where I was like concoction. That over was engman caution of things. Yeah. The head of the dog. It mixed in with a sprinkle of three sets of squats. Yeah. Literally. Twins of Billy Eilish's perfume. Yeah, I try. I try. The verdict was not the asshole comments, not the asshole. She broke the girl code by bringing it up when no one else did. And she made it even worse by pinning it on you. She embarrassed herself. Someone said, how rude of you to climb out from under the bus she threw you under. Okay. Sarcastic. I kind of like that. Someone said, not the asshole your cousin is so unserious for bringing it up and blaming you when her boyfriend probably knew it was her in the first place. But didn't say anything because he has manners. He also tried to deflect and make it less awkward. Yeah. His response was very sweet. Great. I don't like that. This is the first time the OP is meeting her cousin's boyfriend. Okay. Now my brain is going somewhere crazy where I'm like, do she intentionally stink to intentionally? Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? Like this whole thing was assimilation. Oh, she's worried. She's worried her cousin. She's like, oh no, he's gonna like my cousin. No. My cousin seems. Like first time meeting and you want to make your cousin seem stinky. Yeah. Diabolical. All right, our next story. Am I the asshole for putting mistakes in my shared Google Doc notes? Hmm. I, a 21 year old man, am currently taking organic chemistry. Needless to say. I feel bad for him. Yeah, I've heard it's rough. Have you taken it? Yes. Many regrets. I studied chemical engineering and just, why did I do that? Sorry. I have a brother who's super smart. His wife was in medical school and she had to take organic chemistry and she was like, this is a nightmare. And he was like, oh, I took it as an elective. Yeah. And he's like, oh, I didn't really study. I just kind of aced it. I can't. He's just one of those guys. Elective is crazy. He's just one of those dudes. You're choosing torture. Yeah. Anyways, bring a nerd. Okay. He's probably watching this. We say with a jealous tone. My stupid, stinky brother. Needless to say, the class is incredibly tough. Luckily, though, I have been studying since day one, so I am doing all right in the class. I am taking the class with a group of friends. So, to help them out, I shared the personal notes that I'd take in class with them via Google Doc. And I encourage them to invite anyone they know. Recently, one of my friends invited a friend of theirs. Let's call her Jess, 20 year old woman, who I've never really interacted with, but I have a massive crush on. I think she and I would make a great couple, but she's not really into sensitive smart guys. Because on her Instagram, I see all her stories show her out with really jock-like men. Our third exam is in a couple of days, and as I was going through the Google Doc, I realized that she was using my doc the most. You can see who looks at or edits the doc on Google Docs, and most of my other friends would pop up sometimes, but I would see her icon pop up a lot. I also know for a fact that she isn't doing well in the class, so I got a really good idea. I would put subtle mistakes in the doc so that she wouldn't do well in the exam, and then I could offer to tutor her. So, I got a great idea. I have decided to be evil. That way, I can interact with her and talk to her so that she'll realize that I have a great personality, and we can hopefully go out together. I told my friend about this plan, and they called me an in-sell asshole. Okay. Personally, I think they're overreacting, because Jess isn't going to do well either way, even if I don't add mistakes. You don't need to do that. Don't worry, she's stupid. So, my plan will actually benefit her grades while also allowing me to interact with her and talk to her. I think it's a win-win for everyone. But I was wondering if my friend may have been on to something. So, am I the asshole? Please tell me this is creative writing. Please tell me. I hope so. I hope that was so many stories. That is crazy. 'Cause she's already doing bad. You're trying to make her do worse. - Yeah, that was not the way I thought it was going. I was buckled up, I was snuggled in, ready for whatever. - I initially was, but a little orange or pink flag came up and he was like, she's usually with the jock guys, but I'm sensitive and smart. - Yeah, yeah. - I'm so sensitive. I want her to feel her flag. - Yeah, yeah. - Flag of empathy alone. - He literally goes, I want to on purpose make her mess up so that she can see that I'm a great guy. - I could die. - Oh, right. - In one sentence. That's not how you do it, mate. - No, it's not. - I'm trying again. - We were on your side, dude. Like, I feel like he had a perfect avenue because she's using his Google Doc. All he has to do now, you have the in. To go and talk to her and be like, hey, like I've been seeing you've been using my Google Doc, you know, I probably can help you out. There's probably a lot more that I could cover that I don't throw it out. - I don't think I do. - Google Doc. - Damn. - He already had a perfect in and I feel like there's like cute little ways you can flirt in a Google Doc. Like, you add a little comment or a note, like. - Yeah. - Yeah, dude. - Yeah, look how, do you want to go on a date? - I don't get adorable as hell. - Yeah. - I love that. - It's such a good setup. - It's also like, if it doesn't work with her, dude, this is your college career. Look at this avenue that's opening up for you. You're the guy who has the Google Doc. - That's huge, man. - You got that Doc, come on. (laughing) - That guy's got a huge Doc. I hear about all that. - I didn't think it was so nice. He was like, share it with everyone. But also, this whole story, listen, even if your plan pans out perfectly, you're setting yourself up for long term failure. Imagine someday she finds out. - Exactly. - Your trust towards you would just be fully broken. It's not worth it. - Right. - No, no. - It's not worth it. - I love that he had real friends or like, hey, dude, that's in so assos. - What are you doing? - What are you doing, dude? - And at the fact that he doubled down, it's like, bro, come on, no, no. - It's a great point that like, if it works out, that's almost worse. - Yes. - So your entire relationship is built upon a lie and a mean act. You don't want that. You don't want that secret forever. - Oh my gosh. Yeah, you're like building a secret identity of like, you're the Doc Riddler. Like, yeah. You're middle of the doc. - It's your wedding day. He goes, I need to tell you something before I fall asleep. (laughing) - Hey, I saw you edit my vows. (laughing) You added some mistakes to my vows. What was up with that? He's like, I have to tell you something. Um, I also think like, this is different, but it also fits into the like theme of like, when people have a crush on someone, when they then like, say mean things to that person. It's like, you leave that in childhood because that comes from insecurity. - Max fourth grade. - Yeah. - Patch fourth grade, you can't be doing that. - That's not a fifth grade shit right there. - Hell no. - Um. - No, 'cause in fifth grade, I'm excited about middle school and I'm trying to be mature. I'm trying to be cool. - Yeah, I would never do that. - Or it's like, pretend to be mature. - Yes. - Right? - Yeah. - Very least. - Yeah, it's like, wait, do you actually like her? Like, if you want to hurt her in this way? - I feel like ultimately, that's just the way people protect themselves from potential rejection. - Absolutely. - It's rooted in some form of insecurity, yada, yada. - And there you go. - It's okay. - And that's use of therapy right there. - Exactly. - The verdict, you're the asshole. - Yeah. - I'm sorry to break it to you, but your friend's already did. - Your friend's right. - Good friend's though. You should listen to those. - Yeah. - True. - Yeah. - Comments, if your notes have enough mistakes, they sabotage your grades, then why would she come to you for tutoring? This is so gross and creepy though. Playing weird games to manipulate people into dating you is disgusting, and you are way better off asking someone out for coffee or to study outright. Someone else said, "The way you talk about her is so demeaning and patronizing." You're the asshole, absolutely. Lastly, someone said, "You're the asshole. Just talk to her." You have a talking point in the notes. Mention you notice that she was using it, not how much, and ask if they're helping, and if there's anything you can clarify. - Oh. - Do not sabotage her or anyone else. - Can you be kidding me? - Do not be manipulative. - Be upfront and just fricking talk. - Literally, yeah. I'm like picturing myself in this fantasy of like, I'm in this difficult class and this docker, it has been like my godson, and then he starts seeing notes with like, there's anything I can do for you. I'm like, wow, he's like paperclip on Microsoft Word. - Oh my god. - Come on. - Paperclip was kind of like he was, yeah. - Just so supportive, so helpful, always there for you when you needed him. That's what we want. - That's a rule. - Yeah, he was set up to win, and he failed. We'll see what happens though, because we have an update. - What? - Stop. - Okay. - You wouldn't expect an update from this to me. - Yeah. - Okay, what do we have? - I don't think he made his move quite yet. I think he was talking about it. All right, here's our update. I gotta say, for this one, the comments really hurt me at first. He's a sensitive guy. - Sometimes. - A lot of people were really angry with me, but I didn't really listen until Saturday evening. My friend that originally disagreed with me, blocked me and cut me off. This kind of made me realize just how awful everything I said was, because at first I expected him to be a bit annoyed, and I thought he was just being dramatic, but when he blocked me, I think I started to realize just how big I screwed up. This was my childhood friend, and to hear him insult me hurt. So I came to this forum, but I never expected him to block me. I ended up taking a step back, and looking over everything I said over the past couple of days, and I know I'm wrong. I left the doc unchanged, and any changes I made, I made sure to reverse it before any time had passed. These comments and my friend have made me realize that Jess isn't some object for me to drool over, but a real person, and my plan was incredibly condescending. I made assumptions about her, and I rationalized it in my head by saying that it was for her benefit in the end, even though it was about my hubris and ego. Plus, the plan was logistically dumb. Plus, it wasn't your work anyway. - Yeah. - But what the hell was it going to do? - You got to just say that. - We had our test, and I ended up talking to Jess for the first time. I asked her how it went, and she said she thinks it actually went okay, and she said my notes definitely helped. I then let her know that I saw her on the doc a lot, and that if she needs any help, I'm available to tutor her, or just help her out on any problems. She thanked me, but said that she had been getting help for this test by studying with my lab partner. Apparently, they both are friends as well. I said, "That's cool." And I just said to reach out to me if there's anything you need, and she said, "Okay." I think that went well, and you guys are right. I need to change the way I see the world, and I need to mature a bit before initiating anything. Thank you for the comments. They stung, but I think I get it now. - Oh my God. - Wow, a pivot. - A switch-up. A switch-up, you know, to be fair. - Yeah. - This guy's 21, he's in college, he's in a place where he's learning, and he learned a lesson here. - There's room for growth. I like it, I like it. - I'm glad, you know, I took, I'm sorry, I'm gonna use these words, but it's like, it took an in-sale going to Reddit to have things turn around. (laughing) - You know? - How'd it go? - That's true in his way. - I feel like the only times I've seen people, I've seen people switch up a lot on these types of stories, but I have more confidence when it's like 20-21. - Yes. - When it's a dude who's in his 30s, I'm like, oh no. (laughing) I don't know if he's gonna switch around. I don't know if we can turn this car around now. - Yeah. - I would go one further and say like, that's cool, man, you're allowed to ask her out. - Yeah. - You're allowed to also be like, yeah, would you want to get coffee? - No. - I just like, I could tutor you sometimes. She's like, oh, I don't need that. It's like, yeah, fair, fair response. Okay, you can cheat your shop. - Yeah. - You're allowed. - I agree. - You're allowed. - I think sometimes people forget. - Yeah, truly. - What happened to just, let's grab a coffee. - Yeah. - Yeah. - How about we celebrate the getting the test done? - Yeah, oh wait, that's a good setup. When you do get your grades and she passes. - Yeah. - Then you say, let's celebrate. Let me treat you to a coffee. Period. - Cute. - Also, I hope him and his friend maybe make up. - Yeah. - That's tough. - Yeah, 'cause I, I joked about him going to Reddit to turn things around, but it truly was like, oh, I'm losing my friend. Someone I care about, that like made him really stop and look at this, but like, yeah. - I think that with every Reddit story where I'm like, okay, your friends, your family, all these people told you something and you went to an anonymous forum online to get approval. And then you were still upset when the response didn't meet what you wanted. But I'm happy for this guy. Turned it around. - I agree. And I'm happy for the girl. Did you have to go through some weird-- - Or hopefully they-- - Depulation. Yeah. - Yeah, hopefully they did well on the test. - Yeah. - I'm written for you. - Organic chemistry. - What would it stem? What would it stem? And hey, he would have had really inorganic chemistry if he had, if he had a good dog, I might be able to do it. - But it's a tutor ham. - Nice. - Okay. - I didn't go to college. - I'm scared. (laughing) - You didn't need it. (laughing) - We should put all of the cast of Smosh through organic chemistry and see what happens. (laughing) - I know we were done with punishments on Smosh. (laughing) - The way you'd have no employees left by like week two. - I got it. - She's so bad. - I've heard it's helpful. - Mm-hmm. - Okay, our next story. Am I the asshole for not letting my friends use my backyard for their wedding? Because they do not want me to bring a plus one. - Hmm. - Hmm. - Okay. - I have your wedding at our place. My wife's not allowed to come. (laughing) Here's the situation. Last summer, I bought my grandparents house. This house was the hangouts bought for my friends and I throughout our childhood. This includes my friend Dave. The house has a sizable amount of land which includes a lake and a gazebo. I was supposed to buy the house with my now ex-girlfriend, Leslie. But going through the process of getting approved to buy, I found out that she has massive amounts of credit card and personal debt that she hid from me. Throughout our four years together, I decided to break up as a result. That was about six months ago. I met Leslie because Dave's long-term girlfriend, Kim is Leslie's cousin. Dave and Kim are engaged and set to get married in April. when i was buying the house, they asked if they could have the ceremony at the gazebo, which I agreed to do. In December, I started dating again. Leslie has not taken this well at all. She thinks we are going to get back together and has tried multiple times to make that happen. I have told her in no uncertain terms that isn't happening. Dave and Kim have asked me to not bring a plus one to the wedding for Leslie's sake. I have told them that this request is ridiculous. This wedding is happening at my house, using my land, and I am not allowed to bring a date because of a crazy ex. If that is the case, then they need to find a new venue for the wedding. They are pissed about this given the short time frame of when the wedding is supposed to happen. So we are at an impasse, am I the asshole? Hmm. I'm trying to understand. So he bought his grandparents' house, which, he inherited his grandparents' house with his ex-girlfriend, but in the process of buying it, found out that his ex was lying to him about tons of dead money issues, so they broke up. And even if they didn't break up for that reason, they broke up. But now his friends, but because his friends- His ex is how he met the people that are getting married. Oh. And she's going to be at the wedding. Oh. Okay. What I'm wondering is, yeah, yeah. So they are asking him not to bring a date because they think the ex who's going to be at the wedding is going to go berserk about it, but he's like, it's my place. Wait, right? He met his ex because his ex is friends with the bride, his friend. Dave is his childhood friend. Oh, I see. And Dave's girlfriend, Kim, Leslie was her cousin, there's a lot of layers, it's kind of like we're getting a chemistry. So Kim's cousin, so he knew the man and then the girl is friends with Leslie. Yeah. So Leslie is- Leslie's going to be at the wedding either way. Leslie's going to be at the wedding. And they care about Leslie's. And they, because that's family for them. And so they're asking him to not bring his girlfriend to his own house because the venue's going to be there. I think that's one of those situations where it's like, well, we're having the wedding at your place. I can't- Yeah. That's just a, that's the awkward aspect. I feel like every wedding has an awkward aspect. Yeah. I don't think he's being an asshole. I think it's understandable for them to kindly make that request if they want to avoid drama at their own wedding. I don't know Leslie, but for them to really go that far out of the way, I'm like, is she a little cookie? Yeah. Is she going to throw a fit at the wedding? I wouldn't want that at wedding, so I get it as a kind request. They shouldn't be assholes about it though. And they kind of don't have any room to be mad if they're getting married on his land sort of. Right. Yeah. It's awkward. It's really awkward. I think they can all admit, oh, this is going to be awkward. But it is your house, like we are- we are having our wedding for free at your place, we're not paying you. That. If they were renting out his backyard. I was also wondering if that was going to be- There's maybe a little bit more of like, we technically are renting this from you, so legally we have this. But it doesn't sound like that, it sounds like he's kind of doing them a favor. And then, yeah, they could sit down and be like, hey, so here's the awkward situation. Your ex that you just broke up with six months ago is going to be here. And we know she's really going through it. Would you mind? I know it's- it is entirely your right to bring a plus one or someone that you're seeing, but we just- we think it might turn into an issue and we'd rather not. Yeah. I hope that's how they approached it. That maybe doesn't sound to be the case. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it doesn't sound like it, but it's always the tough thing with these stories where we don't get that conversation. Yeah. Yeah, it's not necessarily how they sounded. It's how O.B. Heard it. Right. Right. So all we have is kind of the like lawyer aspect of like, on paper, what's right and what's wrong. Right. And that's like, well, all right. It was weddings. It's tough. Like, especially if you're like right now, I get so much stuff on tech talk about like discourse of weddings and who deserves space where like in terms of boundaries and like, yeah. It's like, if it's your wedding, I don't know. It's like, you guys need like- you guys need to write something down. You guys need to like make a written agreement of what this is because like, it's tricky. It's- oh, it's friends and business. Uh-oh. Right. It's very, very complicated. Right. It's not the asshole, which I think is completely fair, comments plus one. It's your house. You can invite whoever the fuck you want, plus 38, that shit. Plus 38, that shit. Oh. So you can invite 38 people? Oh. Plus 38, that shit. You could add 38 people to it. Okay. Yes, like, okay. You're in the- Okay, what we're saying. It's your house. But also, these are your friends. Like, it's a respect thing, too. Mm-hmm. Someone else said, Leslie returned her RSVP with a plus one, but you're not allowed to bring anyone? Yeah, fuck that. Give it is not your friend, and I support your boundaries, and I think you need to consider your friendship with David over. Aww. I also want to note, this is a wedding implying adults implying, like, you know, we could be a little mature. Um, yeah. If I was any of the people in here, in my opinion, right or wrong, not hearing any of the conversations, he has a right to bring someone. If the bride and groom would really prefer that he didn't, it would be really nice of him to respect those wishes, though he doesn't have to. Sure. It's like those legalities, but again, with friends, it's more feelings, which you want to do, et cetera. No, that's so real. It's really tricky. Yeah. Every story we read about weddings, every something happens with every wedding. I don't know what it is, man. I will say, like, I think it's a, maybe, maybe you're right in that, like, oh, potentially this X does pop off and get upset about their X being around or whatever. I think I'm just the type that I'm like, I hate when we anticipate a problem that might not even happen. Like, why are we even worrying about it? Yeah. But to be fair, if it's her cousin, I am assuming she knows how the breakup is gone for her. Yeah. So I'm also thinking about it, like, maybe Kim has seen Leslie cry every day. Oh, yeah. And if she sees him with another girl, she's crying for sure at my wedding. If my cousin's crying at my wedding, I'm crying at my wedding. Now I'm worried about my cousin instead of just enjoying my day. They don't want this to be the storyline of the wedding. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. But I think if that's the case, like, you can communicate that. And if OP is a friend who cares, he'll be like, I get it. I'd rather that not be the narrative for the night, too. Yeah. I won't bring anyone, even though I'm allowed to. Right. Yeah, it ultimately just doesn't sound like they're communicating effectively. Yeah, I agree. If I'm Leslie, and this is at the house that I was buying with my ex-boyfriend, that I then got dumped because that process of buying that house resulted in revealing a bunch of stuff that I'd been lying about. Yeah. It's pretty awkward. That's open wound. It's also tough. I feel like we're skating over that because, like, I've brought it before. Like, to me, that's a version of cheating, where it's like that was lying. That was keeping a huge thing away from your partner. You're dead, yeah. Like, and I don't know what amount of it they're saying it's pretty substantial, but. I mean, for him to break up a four-year relationship, I'm sure it was substantial. Yeah. I mean, that's, it's just, there's so many details that I think would affect how I view this. Yeah. And we don't have any of it. And I think Leslie, like, if she didn't want this guy there, I feel like it is more important if you're a blood relative, like, if it's a blood relative versus a friend. I don't know. I guess it really depends on your life experience, but- Yeah. I understand why they're inviting me. Oh, yeah, I think, yeah. But, like, being like, well, if Leslie doesn't want to see him, like, would she want to go? I would, as the bride be like, no, I definitely want my cousin there. I would be very hard to miss out on, like, my cousin's wedding, or, I would backflip to the moon for my cousin's wedding. So, tricky situation, low-key, like, wedding situations and conflicts are sometimes really interesting because it's such a unique circumstance that really doesn't work any other of your whole life. -Truly. -I have never heard about a wedding going perfectly 100% fine. There's always something. There's always some aspect. -I've never heard of a wedding. -I don't know what a wedding is. -What do they do? -What is a wedding? -What is a wedding? -Update. -Oh, okay. -It's up date. -It's up date. -It is up date. -Updates are Pokemon. -Thank you. Thank you for bringing me up date. -So, I met with Dave this morning. We talked for almost two hours about everything. I laid it out that I thought he was at best a shitty friend. I went through our long history of various things over the years that has me questioning our friendship. That was the bulk of our conversation. We then turned to the breakup with Leslie and the shit show of the last six months. Throughout the last six months, despite Leslie's craziness, I have bent over backwards to try and accommodate her feelings. She has shown up to my house in the middle of the night. I did not get a restraining order. When I go out, I do not go to places I know that she and her family like to go to. She has implied to her family and mutual friends at various times that I cheated and/or that I took advantage of her financially. Neither of which is true at all. I have held my tongue so as to not embarrass her about these things in front of her friends and family. Dave knows all that and yet is demanding once again that I put Leslie's feelings before my own. I said, "You and everyone need to stop coddling her like she is a fucking child." Dave concedes that Leslie has been crazy and ridiculous since the breakup. But he says, "She feels she did not get closure after the relationship. She wants to have an evening where she can talk to you to get that closure." No, fuck that. He also told me that Leslie has been very vigilant about paying off her debt and paid off almost $10,000 of credit card debt. She wants to talk to me about her progress to see if that might cause me to change my mind. It will not, I asked him, "So do you expect me to go to the wedding and talk to her because I have her blocked everywhere and date or not? I do not plan to say a single mumbling word to her." He said, "I fully expect she would lose it "if y'all do not talk at the wedding." I told him that if that's the case, then for the good of my property, I can't have Leslie come. If she is so unstable, that I need to be coerced into a conversation with her, she is too unsafe to be a guest in any capacity in my home. So I've told him, based on what he has told me, Leslie cannot come to my house or on my land. I am willing to still have the wedding at my place, but I cannot trust Leslie won't do something given what you were telling me. Dave lost at this point. He said, "Fuck you and your shit. "I don't need it." So I said, then the wedding is off. He left, that is the stage. >> He said like he was the bride. >> I breaking up with you, throws a ring, suddenly. >> All right, that changes everything. >> Yeah, I got a feeling. I was like, there must have been a lot more mess. >> Wait, that comic story was right about like, who they're trying to get you to back together. >> It's certainly like, it's not a bad guess. I just always am like a little hesitant when they jump to, well, here's what's going on. I'm like, well, a couple of people are going up. >> Yeah, but it's still long of to be right now. >> It was true. >> Yeah, that's crazy. >> They were right. Yeah, they had, like, their old intentions, and they're clearly not respecting him. >> I agree, they're being very disrespectful. It's also just sad to think, oh, these people are friends. They've known each other so long, and it's escalating to this degree before a wedding. To be honest, I would like to avoid drama. Like, if I was in his shoes, I would recognize that my conversation with David, right? My conversation with him signals to me that he doesn't really trust my opinion as much as I'd like him to in regards to what happened, or he's not respecting and validating my feelings, or trusting what I want. I don't want to get back with them. Why are you pushing for that? I feel like that's really appropriate. >> Are you allowing space for that? >> Yeah, it's so odd. To be honest, I would still let them do the wedding. Maybe I wouldn't go. I would go not bring a date, whatever. I would just let that move on and pass, and then I'd probably just distance myself fully, and continue my life as I please. >> To avoid the hassle and everything. I get that. >> It must be really hard to stay in a friend circle like that where everybody is coddling your ex's feelings. >> Who did you bury during this? >> Yeah, dangerously. >> It just seems like a bad situation. >> Yeah. >> Or like an unhealthy situation for him to be in. >> I feel like it's very common for people to meet their partners via like friends, right? >> Yeah. >> And that's a great thing. It can be tricky once if a breakup happens, and it's like, well, what happens to the friend group now because people have different vibes? But ultimately, this comes down to Dave knows that Leslie showed up to his house in the middle of the night. Dave knows. >> But some of these things are way beyond crossing a line. >> He's not respecting his boundaries. She's not respecting his nose. And then he, Dave literally tells him like, well, I know she wants to use this wedding as a vehicle to talk to you, which is showing Leslie's not even respecting their wedding. >> Yeah, as a group. >> She's not there for their wedding. >> Right. >> She's there for him. >> That and shouldn't, like, to me as a friend, I want to have the same like morals and ethics as the people and values that I surround myself with. I would be looking at David like, don't you think that's weird? >> Yeah, you're cool. >> Shouldn't we agree that? >> Yeah, should we agree that she, like, she stalked me essentially. >> Hello? >> Yeah. >> Like, he could have gotten a restraining order, maybe he didn't. Like, cuz there's the aspect of like, yeah, it's your wedding, it's your day. Which means you also have the grounds to tell Leslie, like, you are absolutely not talking to him on our wedding. Like, it's our wedding and our demand of you is, you're allowed to go if you don't talk to him, don't bother him. >> If you're asking one person not to bring a date, you could ask the other person, don't interface with, don't talk to this guy. >> Yeah, absolutely. >> Yeah, I feel like I said that's fair. That's not the most fair. >> That's more than fair. That's like the closest to everybody happy if possible. Like, if you can't bear to be in the same building, you have to talk to them, please, my love, I did it. >> Get it? >> I like, I feel like, cuz I have been at events where there were people in my life that didn't get along the best. But for the sake of this event, they all chose to get along well. And it was actually really amazing. And that was respecting the event and the context. And like, that means a lot. And like, it's like you're saying, this person Leslie is making the wedding about her. And it seems like the groom in this conversation is just cool with that. The bride, it cares about their cousin. And like, it's just, yeah, it's very murky. And like, yeah, I totally see where you're saying about it. It's just like, give them the night they want. But you're, I'm like, afterwards, deuces. >> Yeah, I just picture, like if I was, if I was OPM, just like in my robe drinking coffee, but like watching them down below at the, at the gazebo. >> Yeah, I also feel like that's so short-sighted because okay, let's say they do talk. What if it goes badly? >> It's something's gonna happen. >> It's gonna be like a food fight. >> There's gonna be a food fight that's actually gonna be sick. I also am just always blown away when I hear about friends trying to get their friend back with their ex. And I'm just like, if the friend has been like, no, I'm not going back to that ex. But the friends are like, well, we're gonna try to manufacture and make it happen. It's like, you're not respecting your friend at all. >> Yeah, talking about manufacturing making it happen, like the previous story, like this, Leslie did all these horrible things to OP. Like horrible things, they're all aware of. And it's like even if, and Leslie's like, but I've done the work. It's like, well, what kind of work? You're doing financial saving. That's really cool. That's really awesome. But you also, like, you said, you lied to him. You hid this for years. So he's within his right to not want to be with you. And your friends should absolutely respect that. That's why, if I'm OP, I accept that these circumstances came about when I was with someone. I let them fully finish and end and I close that chapter. And I likely move on with maybe some new friends that respect my wishes. Weddings are always that like moment, you know, or not always. >> It really tests everything. >> It can be a test. >> All right, our next story. >> Dang, no, I'm dead. >> No more updates. >> No more updates. >> No more updates. >> Am I the asshole for leaving my boyfriend's apartment after he spent the entire night gaming with his friends? Wouldn't let me in his room and made me feel like a guest instead of his girlfriend. I'm a 25-year-old woman. He's a 26-year-old man. And we've been dating for just under a year. Things were mostly good until last weekend. And now I'm wondering if this is a sign of something bigger. Here's what happened. He invited me over Saturday night because he was having his friends online for a gaming night. I'm not super into gaming, but I figured it could still be fun. I pictured us hanging out, maybe I'd watch for a bit, grab us some snacks, and then when they were done, we'd cuddle up and spend time together. Instead, the second I got there, he pretty much disappeared into his room with his headset on. I tried to hover for a minute like, hey, can I watch? He said, there's no space in here, I'll be a while. Then he shut the door. I decided to sit on the couch in his living room by myself, listening to him yell and laugh through his headset with his friends. >> What? >> I felt really awkward. It wasn't like I could jump in or join them. They weren't playing Mario Kart or something fun to watch. It was a raid or whatever that lasts hours long. >> [LAUGH] >> So what did you think he was doing? >> It was just real. >> Okay. >> If it was a raid, it's probably well. >> My God. >> I didn't want to just scroll my phone all night either. But that's basically what I did. I even debated just going home, but I thought maybe he'd be done soon. Except soon, it never came. I checked the time around 11.30 p.m., then midnight, then 1 a.m., and he still hadn't come out once to check on me. Not even a, hey, you good? He had ordered food earlier for himself and his friends. >> What? >> God, that's crazy work, he's pushing it. >> But didn't even ask if I wanted anything. That part stung because I literally sat there hungry while they ate in his room. >> What? What the fuck? >> At 2 a.m., I finally knocked and asked if he was almost done. He didn't even take his headset off. Just looked at me annoyed and said, we're in the middle of a raid, go to sleep if you're tired. I don't know why, but that just broke me. It wasn't about the gaming, it's the fact that he made me feel like some random guest, not his girlfriend. Why didn't he even invite me over? I packed up my stuff, grabbed my bag, and left quietly. I didn't slam the door or make a scene. I felt too humiliated to stay. I thought maybe he'd notice I left and call, but nope. The next morning he texted me like nothing was wrong, asking where I went. When I told him I left because I felt ignored. He flipped it around and said I was being dramatic in immature. According to him, I could've just waited it out like a chill girlfriend. >> Wait a minute, what you mean like an inanimate object? >> You mean like an NPC, or a lamp? >> I'll admit, maybe I could've spoken up sooner instead of stewing on the couch for hours. I didn't want to nag, so I just kept telling myself he'd be done soon. At the same time, why should I have to beg for attention in my own boyfriend's apartment? It's one thing if he wants a night with his friends, I get that. But why haven't asked me to come over? This isn't the first time he's blown me off for gaming, but it's never been this bad. Usually it's like 30 minutes here and there, and then we do something together. I tried to bring that up, and he just said I'm too needy and that he's not going to change how he relaxes. I don't want to blow up something good over one bad night. Am I the asshole for leaving his place in the middle of the night instead of just waiting it out, or was I right to set a boundary and refuse to sit there being treated like I'm invisible? >> You're definitely not the asshole. >> No, dude, he's right there. >> He said I just need to relax. >> [LAUGH] >> I'm confused, so he had friends over. >> It sounds strange, yeah, because he's like, he got food for him and his friends. >> Yeah, but she said the item online, none of it adds up. >> Also, he said there's no room in here, was that because they were also there, right? >> Or was his room just so dirty? >> Wait, did he order food for himself or for him and his friends? >> She said him and his friends, so maybe he did have- >> Okay, so they were there, is this AI? >> [LAUGH] >> I don't think it is. >> He's just written strangely, I don't think it's AI, I think this is real. >> I'm going to operate off the assumption that. that his friends are in the room. And they're playing video games together, which I will say like, it just doesn't add up. I feel like this could have been avoided by him just telling his girlfriend like, oh, I'm having like my friends over tonight. Like we can't hang out tonight. I'm doing a game night with some of my old buds. - Yeah, or if he invites her, she'll have to actually be a part of it. - Yeah. - Not just like in the corner in another room. - Yeah. - What do you mean? - In the world. - I would feel awful like in any sort of social setting, like inviting someone who can't participate in what we're doing. - It's more common than we probably realize. Like I've seen a lot of stuff of people who like, just their partner is just gaming while they're just like there. And it's like, it seems like it's at time. Doesn't seem fun. - Okay, listen. (laughing) - You turn into a Robert De Niro, right? - Okay. - It's okay. - I will speak as someone who I've had many of men be upset, many men be upset about how much I came from. - Oh my God, okay. - Okay, this is an important perspective, I love this. - Okay. - But listen, for starters, there's a time and place. And secondly, there have been instances, for example, where maybe I'm just so focused on gaming. I lose track of time. I don't answer someone within an appropriate time period. I go MIA in the middle of a conversation. But when they tell me, "Hey, that made me feel this type of way." I say, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry." I was locked in my back. And it's not that hard to say. - Also, you put yourself and someone else's shoes that wouldn't be too great. And there are some instances where it's not a big deal and some instances where it is. At the end of the day, I think most people can agree if they were in her shoes in that situation, they would not feel great. Honestly, she put up with so much me. I would have been pissed at just ordering food and not for me. - I would have been done for it. - Yeah. - The food would have been it for me too. - There's so much inconsideration. (laughing) - There's so much inconsideration within this. Like, she was down for him to play games all night. And for her to hang out and watch, he set this up horribly. - And even when she tells him, hey, I didn't feel too great. I didn't feel welcomed. What have you just no validating her feelings, no trying to make her feel better? To me, that's the bigger issue. I can imagine someone really getting lost in a game night. Not great, but it happens sometimes. It's more so, hey, can we come back as a couple, get on the same page? - Yeah. - Absolutely. - And feel like you care about my feelings. So next time you'll be considered of me when I'm there. I feel like it shouldn't have gone so south. - Absolutely. - I think it's odd that the next day he reached out as if nothing was wrong, nothing happened. - Yeah. - When she, like, the way the night, the way, the last thing she left-- - The way she left. - Yeah, the last thing they said to each other was she was, she was like, hey, like, what's going on? Get tired of me, said, go to bed. - Go to bed. - Like, it's no, I don't think that the gaming is not the problem in this story. It's his responses to everything. - He's attitude. That is the problem. - My, I-- - This is lack of consideration too. - For sure, 'cause, like, I will watch people play video games all day. Like, I watch, shame, play lots of video games. I watched you in the Among Us era. I watched so much of that shit. - Thank you. - Like, I love that. - It can actually be fun so, like, sit behind someone while they're gaming, but, like, they should be letting you and they should just treat you like you're actually there. Not invisible. - I also think it's a very normal thing with couples where, like, a person has their hobby or something that's like, oh, I'm gonna do this thing tonight. And that's gonna be, I'm gonna be doing this thing. And it's like, cool, like, do that thing while I do whatever. But, if you order food, order food for everyone in the house. What do you do? - Yeah, that's a, like-- - I really think this story, this story, this story-- - It's not the food, actually. - This really takes a completely different turn if it's, like, oh, any order food, and he asked me what I wanted. It's, like, truly, very different order. - Like, did he check on you at all? - Like, that's a wild thing. - Because right before you said the food, I was, like, did he even get up to piss? Like, what's happening? - Probably not. - And then, when I hear he got up to order food and do all, that means he got up, got food from a delivery person, that acknowledged the delivery person, more than maybe not to start. - That is crazy. - What's up, Greg? - What's up, Greg? - What's going on? - Sick dude, keep doing, keep doing anything. - Keep doing pizza. - Keep doing pizza. - Keep doing pizza. - You have to do that pizza so good, Greg. - He looks around the couch. - Hump. - Keep doing pizza. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh my God. - Like I said, I'm confused. He invited her over. - Mm-hmm. - Like, why did you invite her over? - Because it's game night. - Yeah, that's what it made it sound like. I don't know, man. It's odd. The verdict, not the asshole. - I think it did end up being that they were all gaming online, but I think he only ordered food for himself. - Yeah. - I think that's what ended up happening. - Maybe he ate with his friends. Like, they all were gaming. - You know what actually makes sense? If they're playing a game like World of Warcraft that they'd be like, oh, we're taking a break really quick. - Oh, yes, yes. So we're all eating at the same time. - 'Cause we can't, like. - Yes, yes, yes. - We can all start at the same time. - Yeah, and say World of Warcraft grays, say grays. - Yeah. - It is a thing. When you play World of Warcraft, you do have to pray before every raid. (laughing) At least, Michael would do that, I don't know if that's normal. - Yes, yes. - Comments, not the asshole. He wants an on-demand girlfriend to take care of him while he gives nothing. You deserve better. Someone said, not the asshole. If you wanted a boy's only gaming night, he should have been honest instead of inviting you over just to ignore you. You're his partner, not background furniture. You did the right thing, leaving, and you're right to question if this is the kind of relationship you want long term. Someone said, this isn't even how you treat a guest. His guests got food to eat. I wouldn't be surprised if this isn't some dumb TikTok dare. How long will my girlfriend sit in the living room whilst I gain with my buddies and get take away? - That honestly, like, my brain went there because Reddit is so messed up, so messed up. And like, it's just, I was like, maybe he's putting, like, guys, we're doing tests on their girlfriends sometimes. It's so weird. - You wanna make that? - I know, Reddit's messed up. - I've heard too many stories on this dang couch. - Pokey, I've heard so many dark things. - We're messed up. - You're not too much honey, you're not too much. - Help me, we're messed up over here. - You're more pranking me. - Last comment said, not the asshole. By chill girlfriend, he means a girlfriend that doesn't make any demands of him or an ag, as you said. A chill girlfriend sits there, hungry, silent, and alone, waiting patiently for him because he might have a moment for her. It doesn't get better, by the way. He's old enough to know what his plans for an evening such knight are, and if he wants to game into the wee hours with his friends, he should be adult enough to say, I've made plans with my friends to game, so how about we get together another night? And do that. Having you waiting in the other room feels like he was having you on standby in case he had a girlfriend fulfilling need. - That's so weird. - I will say like, everything was sort of salvageable until they had a conversation and he still didn't care. - That I can't understand. - I agree. - I cannot. - I agree. - I feel like there's never been a time where I've heard a boyfriend say that their girlfriend's being over-dramatic and it's-- - And it goes well. - And it goes well. - I guess I'm too dramatic for you. And then I dramatically leave. (laughing) - And that's how you do it, and that's how it's done. - All right, there is no update because this was posted yesterday as of us reading those-- - To next time. - So this happened last night. - That's so sad. - People are like, "Wild of Warcraft right now." (laughing) - I'm sure we're doing about it. - Still talking about it? - Yeah. - I stopped playing that game when I was 15. That was 30 years ago. (laughing) - It's going strong. - All right, our next story. "Am I the asshole for being upset with my $150 engagement ring?" (groaning) My fiance is quite well off. And while I don't make as much as him, I certainly would not be struggling on my own. He rotates between a few very expensive watches that he wears to work, and while we have a good grasp on financial literacy, we aren't shy about spending for the important parts of life. We openly share finances, so I know he isn't secretly in debt or any such nonsense. The ring is nice and understated, but more of a nice stacker than an engagement ring to show off. The stone, which I'm doubtful as a diamond, is quite small. It is not an heirloom. When friends or family get engaged, there is always the excitement and sharing the news, and inevitably someone will ask to see the ring, and then everyone coups over it, and it's a good time. When I showed mine, the mood got awkward, and they feigned excitement just long enough until it was okay to change the topic. This is not a knock on them, they're just terrible liars. (laughing) I would like to make clear that I am not expecting a three-month salary ring or an over-the-top wedding. However, this is a piece I will be wearing daily for decades, and is largely considered a symbol of his love. I know not all feel this way, but we do, or at least I thought we did. But I really don't think I'm out of line for thinking of it as a long-term investment piece, given the amount of where it will see, and the sentimentality behind it. Surely it is worth more than a gaming console. Ooh. That's not as much as a gaming console, twice as much as that, man. They ask, am I the asshole here? Interesting. No, I'm so curious, did they talk about it? That's really about communication. What was the ring convo? There's got to be a ring convo. 'Cause if you have a ring convo, and she's like, I want a ring pop, and he's like, hey, ring pop, and then you both are happy about the ring pop, okay. But if you have a conversation and you set an expectation, and he either doesn't meet it or doesn't want to, or he's like, well, I feel like you should not even care. Right. Interesting, yeah. It sounded like the wording at the end there, she was like, I thought we had the same opinions on this. Right. Maybe she thought they had the same opinions on spending in general, but maybe he had some sort of different perspective when it comes to the ring. I'm not sure. At the beginning, she says, - Yes, he rotates expensive watches. - He has expensive watches. - Uh-oh, not the watch costing more than that. I'm just kidding. - I mean the watch definitely costs more if she's singing his expensive watches. It certainly adds a layer to it of like, okay, he spends money like that on himself. You know, it's like, would you want to spend that on your partner? - I thought they said they like will splurge on experiences or visions or whatever, right? So yeah, what happened here? - It's more, it's more. - And like, is this a pattern? Like does he usually maybe not really by lavish things when it comes to her birthdays and things like that? I guess if I was in her shoes, that's what I'd be more mindful of. Like is he more reserved when it comes to spending on me? Is that maybe an issue we'll have when we're married or when we want kids or when there are more important, you know, that's where my line of thinking is. - Yeah. - We read a story where very similar where the fiance got her a ring, Opiea ring, and it was off of Timo. And it was like $40 maybe. - Like $40 maybe. And we all just kind of agreed like, that ring's not gonna last very long at all. - No, like it barely was supposedly. It was a big moisonite gemstone, but like whatever carrot gold was on there, like I think someone had looked into it. Like at that gold would have got a gust of wind. - Yeah. - It would have been gone. - Not all the specs come up. - Yeah. - And then your fingers green and-- - They share finances so they know that they're a financial situation. I don't think it's, and she's saying, it's not about an expensive ring, but it is about like you are gonna wear this ring every day. - For me, it's also sorry to try. - No, you're fine. - Like if I was dating someone who maybe struggled a little bit financially and they got me $150 ring, I'd be like, well if you don't make that much, that is like that's so much. I'd be so grateful. But she knows he has the money to spend more on such an important gift that he's giving her that's gonna signify their love and their union. That's the part that I'm weird about. Like she can see how much he makes. - Right. - I don't understand where he's coming at it from. - It's the thought that counts, right? 'Cause if it was an heirloom that he didn't spend money on, but he's like, oh, this is my grandmother's ring or something, that would mean just as much. - Right, but then what's the thought? - There's just the amount of importance that he puts on it, but it kind of makes it sound like this was a bit of a throw away for him. - Right. - Why would that be the case? - Right? - She said he didn't look like it was a diamond at all. - She doesn't think it's a real diamond, but it's small. And just. - She's called it a stacker, which is all right. - That's a phrase. But I know plenty of people who are married and I feel like everybody has a very different story of what they wanted out of a ring. And I know plenty of people whose rings are very inexpensive 'cause they talked and agreed like, I don't want that. - This is why you go ring shopping. - Yeah, I want this. - I can be on the same page. But there's still like an agreement between them of like the significance. And that's what's important. But it sounds like they are on very different pages, which is scary when you're engaged. Verticked, not the asshole, comments. Some are calling you shallow, but you've made it clear that you're not asking for anything super expensive. Just something a step above costume jewelry, especially given your comments that he also has a few nice watches he wears, et cetera. I don't think you're shallow or an asshole for wanting something nicer. At the same time, I don't think he's the asshole for getting you what he got. What's clear is that you guys had zero communication about the cost or style of the ring before it was bought, even though you are open enough about your finances to share them. This speaks more to problems inherent in your relationship than the ring itself. You need to talk to him about your concerns and if that's important to you, contribute to the cost of a nicer ring. Hope he responded to that saying, "We had briefly talked about overall style and he has access to my jewelry box to know the stuff I typically wear. As the price of the ring wasn't very important to me, the budget for it was never really discussed, which I see as a mistake now, but I didn't realize that this could be a problem. We will be talking about this for sure, but I know this can be a touchy subject and wanted an objective eye on it first." Someone else said not the asshole, I think you need to communicate ASAP and find out the reasoning behind the ring. It's not always about the actual money but about the message it sends to you. He's saying that he might not think you're worth spending more money on or it could be completely different in his mind, but you won't know until you talk to him. Engagement rings are a significant statement in our society as much as people want to think otherwise. Plus, this is a good way to figure out if you share similar values around money, et cetera. - That one, that's a good one. - Yeah, that is very good. - Hope he responded to that saying, I suspect it was his way of seeing if I was marrying him or his money, but it just comes to me. - That's what I was thinking too much. Why are you testing someone? - I don't want via an engagement. - Yeah, I'm gonna test it. - Shouldn't you be sure that I care about your ass? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Tests and relationships. - I know. - But it just comes off as insecure and is quite hurtful for him to bring that into what should be an entirely happy moment. We will be communicating more on this, but sometimes it helps to see what strangers think before going into a tricky conversation. So I can better see both sides and not act so emotional when it's all going down. Lastly, someone said, info. How do you know it costs $150? Did you know he was going to propose? My wife knew I was going to propose because we talked about marriage. My wife loved her engagement ring because we talked about what she wanted. I had her look at hundreds of rings online and tell me what she liked. Sash didn't like about each one. So I could find a ring she liked within my budget. After five years, she still talks about how beautiful her ring is. Oh, he responded saying, we share our finances and I saw the charge on the bank statement. I didn't know what it was at the time. Nothing is ever abbreviated normally. But looking back, it was definitely the ring. I knew he was going to propose and I tried not to hound him with the ring ideas, but he should have had a decent idea of the general style I like. I still think you can never communicate too much. I think it should be laid out. Yes. Unless you're someone who loves a surprise more than anything, you should really talk about it. And rings can be very different. Like the styles and everything. The way me and Jane did it was I found 10 links and send them to him and I was like, if he picks any of those, it's cool 'cause he picked it. And then they're still kind of a surprise. Yes. That's something you're like-- Yes. Very that, exactly. Also, I was a little about the fact that she was seeking other people's objective opinions in a situation that to me is super subjective. All that matters when it comes to an engagement ring is what you and your partner decide on. Whether you want it to be, again, a ring pop or $10,000, whatever is really up to what you guys decide and communicate on. It's kind of true. I do feel like everything with an engagement is-- it's a test in a way, but it's more of just communication of how well you know each other and how much you respect each other and how important each other are to each other. And for her, this was not fitting that. So it requires a conversation. Yeah, it sounds so. She is suspicious that he's seeing if she's marrying him for his money or not. And like, is she going to get upset? I mean, I feel like you don't have to throw a fit. I'm leaving you. But you know, just kindly talk to him, be like, hey, I noticed. And of course, I don't need a ring to be a million dollars. But I'm curious why you chose this one. And just let him do the talking and see from there where it goes. Yeah. And even before that being so, what inspired this ring? Yeah. So tell me the story of this ring. How this ring is so great, so like, what was going on with it? What's the deal? Well, we're going to find out because we have an update. Stop. OK. Because you were reading her replies in the comments, and I was like, oh, there's no up there. If he's so dissatisfied, let's go. There's a good episode, guys. [LAUGHTER] Amazing. All right. He came home and we were settling down around dinner. I started the conversation with Honey. I'd like to talk about the ring. And before I could finish, he just blew up, started yelling, fucking finally, and how I'd ruined everything by waiting so long. To be brief, he bought a shitty ring from a jeweler who got bad reviews so that when I got upset over it, he could dump me under the guise that I was a gold digger. Huh? He has apparently been having an affair-- Huh? Turns out, COVID had shortened his work hours, not extended, with a younger model that he's earned, but knew that breaking things off when everyone loved me so much would hurt his optics. So he had to make it my fault. He knew that leaving this pariahship would gain him sympathy, and there was a lot of rhetoric that clearly wasn't his own words, but something he was parroting from what I highly suspect, is from a much-too-influential work friend that I've had disagreements with in the past. Changes I had attributed to work stress are glaringly obvious to me now as symptoms of something more malicious under the surface, and I feel really ashamed I didn't see things more clearly earlier, or wasn't somehow able to head things off before they got this far. I won't be stinking around to dig any deeper, but I know my now ex-fiancé would not have done and said the things he did without being pushed from bad influences behind the scenes. This doesn't mean I forgive him. I think he is an incredibly weak and feeble-minded for letting this happen to us, but I also doubt I'll be contacting many of our mutual friends as the dust settles. I left in the middle of his tirade around the 15-minute mark, and I'm staying at my mother's. I haven't cried yet, and I think I'm still waiting for it. All to suddenly make sense, but I know logically it might not ever. Thank you to everyone who responded to my post and offered your thoughts. I don't think anyone could have predicted what was going to happen from the information I gave. The way she dodged a bullet, though. - Yeah. - That is great. When you first said, oh, I was waiting for you to bring it back. the first thing that came to my mind was, that was a prank ring, here's the bill. - Yeah, I thought so true. - Yeah, I was at the moon, that's all. - No, no, no, no, no, it was a prank affair. - Yeah. - That's crazy. Also, is it not even crazier that he unveiled everything? - Yeah. - On one hand, great closure for her. I'm happy. - It was not regret, but on the other hand, cyclone. - 100%. - It was like a villain monologue. - That's why you wait so long to bring it up. I was gonna break up with you because I was gonna pretend that you were a gold dick. - Yeah, it's weird, I mean, it's very blatant. It's very odd in that way, but I have heard, like when people have affairs, it leads to this weird thing where the person who's cheating builds resentment for their partner, that they're cheating on. - I don't remember the exact logistics of it, but-- - Well, guys, yeah, if you continue to get away with it, like you are sitting with those feelings, right, and like-- - It's, yeah, like, and-- - And they're projecting that way. - Yeah. - It just messes you up, right? - It messes you up, and so he got to a point where he was just like, oh my god, like he views her as a burden, sadly. - Oh my god, I think it's one of those things where like, I've sometimes seen instances, or been in instances where people get upset at you for like wanting to be nice kind of, or like being chill with it. I think that's where it was coming from when he's like, you took so long to bring it up, and every day, there's like this crazy voice in the back of his mind, where he's like, oh, look at her, being on nice. - No, literally. - No, it's not really, yeah. - That's what I'm telling you. - That's what I'm telling me, cookie things like that. I'm like, therapy, please. - Well, like, I think that person is genuinely just trying to like not be problematic, go about their day, and like, oh, they think they're so good, being nice. - Yeah, 100%. - Yeah, 100%. - It's so tragic with those types of situations, like, sounds like she really loved him. - Yeah. - She cared about him, and here he is. - She didn't even want to bring it up until she like, god, other people's opinions, and I was like, am I being crazy? - Yeah, it's interesting. He sounds explosive, so maybe she, you know, she's checking, like, hey, should I poke the bear? - Oh, I see. - I don't know. - I see, that makes sounds fun. - Yeah, but sounds like she, it sounds done, obviously. - Yeah, that took a turn, I couldn't never. - Yeah, bullet dodge, but also she kind of was, in the thick of it, like, an affair happened, and she's just like, okay, I'm out, like, thank goodness, yeah, the timing of it all, but. - I'm at least glad she knows, like, one, totally not her fault, two, she has nothing to be ashamed of, and three, in a way, it's better it ended here and now, than actually it is. - Totally. - But also, like, so evil of him, to drag her through the excitement of getting engaged, to then get her a bad ring, to then end things, while having the front, that's insane. - Yeah, but he wanted the story, he wanted to be the victim. - Yeah, he's, 'cause my family loves you, but I know. - Yeah. - To go that far for it, holy. - People do it up. - And maybe when is it these rich people with the villain arc? (laughing) He's so rich, and he reminds me of the Guardians of the Galaxy 2, where the monologue takes that really dark turn, and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - The like, the weird zoom out, zoom in, thing, yeah. - Scary. - Mm-hmm. - They think they're the main character. - Yeah. - You need to make myself, like, best. - Hey, Shane, from a future Reddit stories here, before we wrap up, I have a fun update for y'all. Some of you may know this, but Smoshread's Reddit Stories has been nominated for a 2025 Signal Listeners Choice Awards for Best Comedy Podcast, which is just such a cool honor for us. It's seriously insane that we got nominated for this. I can't remember the last time Smosh, as a whole, was nominated for an award of any kind, so it means a lot to us as is. But if you wanna go vote, please go do it. It means a lot to me, but I think more so, this is huge for this team who puts in so much effort. Reddit Stories I think is a lot more work behind the scenes than it is for us here on the chair in the couch. People are working hours on and sourcing these stories, making sure we're not repeating stories, making sure we're finding juicy stories. They're helping me so much, really, so this award would be for them, for Emily Bailey, for Kiana, who started this project forever ago, for the crew who's filming it, for everyone. It would be really for them. So if you wanna go vote and do this for them, please do. Head to signalaward.com. Public voting ends next Thursday, October 9th. Thanks again for watching and supporting the show. And now back to other shame. - Our final story. Am I the asshole for wearing a tight dress, despite my friend asking me not to? - I saw a tick talk about this, I think. - Ooh! - Yeah! - Okay. - I, 20-year-old woman, and my friends, both 22-year-old women, are currently on vacation. For the sake of the story, I will call them L and K. L, K and I all decided that while we are on vacation, we would go clubbing as much as possible. All my friends know that I have a feminine sense of style. My entire wardrobe consists of pink, mini skirts, dresses, heels, and lots of jewelry. Not once has this ever seemingly been a problem with my friends, at least if there was, nothing was mentioned directly to me. When you go clubbing, most people tend to wear tight outfits, so my suitcase was packed with several outfits meant for clubbing. Last night, after spending our day by the pool, I started googling clubs near us and broached the topic of starting our first night partying. All seemed excited, so we all headed up to our room to start getting ready. I was just about done with my makeup and hair when I grabbed the dress I was planning on wearing, and suddenly the mood felt extremely sour. For sake of full clarity, it's a very short pink leather dress. K spoke up and mentioned that I should probably pick another outfit. I asked her why, and she said, "Since we are all going together, none of us should try to outdo each other." I explained that I'm not trying to outdo anyone and just like my dress. L sided with her, saying that I was clearly trying to one-up them and was acting like a pick me. I told them I'm-- Right, right, right, right. I told them I'm wearing the dress no matter what, and I was sure they would look just as, if not more, beautiful than me in their outfits. They barely talked to me for the remainder of getting ready and split up from me the moment the uber dropped us off. It's Tuesday and they are still being cold/short with me. I kind of want to go home, but I'm curious if I'm being an over-dramatic asshole. Am I the asshole? - Nor-- - Nor, what the heck? - Get less insecure friends. - Or get more secure friends. - Yes, yes, yes, yes, less insecure, more secure. That is so strange. So like, what is the, like, do you guys have a game plan of like, okay, so we're all gonna just dress mid, right? - Yeah. - That dress really may-- - Guys, max 7.5 out of 10. - Yes. - Anything, come on. - Yes. - Nothing over a three inch heel, or lower than a one inch heel. - Also, you're going to the club, you know? It's not like you guys all decided to maybe go to something more chill and someone is just like, dressed to the nines, but even then, to be honest, as a girl, like, I love when my girls dressed up. - Mm-hmm. - That was-- - I'll be looking at, I'll be in sweatpants, I'll be like, yes, mama. - Yeah, true. - Why not? - Right, I'm sad to hear that. - Yeah, it's a bummer. - Yeah, it's a tough thing. - That's a tough thing. - To the club? - I know, like-- - Yeah, the club is specifically the place where I'm like, yeah, people go for it. - Out, do each other. I'm like, who is trying to impress one? Oh, you guys are dressing for me. - And why are we comparing me? - Yeah, yeah. - What, why are we trying to out, do each other for men at the club? Please, they don't even, they're not even allowed in there anymore, I bet. (laughing) - They're not even there anymore. - They're not even there. - At first I was like, honey, those are not your friends. - Yeah, I was like, maybe they're like, gently trying to let her know that like, maybe her, like, Gucci's out and like, like, not in like a fun way. - If your friends, Gucci's out, then you say like, you're Gucci's out. - Oh my God, Gucci out. (laughing) - It's not strong. - She's like, I know. - That's the plan. - That's the plan. - Yeah, but-- - Yeah, no, I've just said that even before she put the outfit on. - Right. - Maybe not that one, but-- - Like, what the heck? - No. - It doesn't help. Comments, not the asshole. It's normal to want to look good when you go out clubbing and dressing up and doing your makeup has nothing to do with trying to one up other people. If your friends have a problem with you wearing flattering outfits to the club with them, they have their own insecurities to sort out. So, it's not the asshole, but it's pretty obvious that this is an ongoing issue with them and whatever else there may be going on. They sure did pick a shitty time to lay it all out. You wanna fix it, then you all need a good heart to heart talk. Lastly, someone said, not the asshole, yikes, your friends left you alone somewhere where you are a visitor because they didn't like your dress. You can wear what you want. True friends lift each other up. They don't abandon you because of their own insecurities. - They're like in a town that they're not familiar with, right? - Yeah, not only was that mean or like stemming from a place of insecurity, it was flat out unsafe. - Super. - Did you just leave your friend out to crazy? - It's very sad. I hear stories of people having friends that compare each other a lot. And I'm like, man, that is so hard to like survive. Like a friendship cannot survive comparison like that. You got to grow out of that. - I agree. Unfortunately, I find it's relatively common and I think one of the reasons why I'm sure they've experienced maybe instances where they all go to the club and maybe one of the girls is dressed nicer or looks much prettier. Maybe all the guys give her more attention, but then that makes the girls, you know, like it stems some sort of jealousy towards them but it has nothing to do with that. - And you also shouldn't treat your friends based off of how guys treat you guys. - Right. - It's just like the internalized misogynist. - Yes, it's full circle now. - We've been trained to compare ourselves because we've been getting compared. - Exactly, but as soon as you do that, you're just letting that comparison get in between the friendship, which is just not worth it. - Right. - Yeah, they're 20 and 22. It's, it's, it's. That's one of those things like I recall that happening a lot, like you got to grow out of it or else you're just going to end up kind of with no friends because things are going to happen throughout your life where your friends are going to have good things happen to them. They're going to have things where they're doing better than you or they're just going to be a little bigger. Or like whatever. And it's just like, oh, that's your unique. It's their moment to show them. But you want to lift up your friends. Yes. You want everything to go right for your friends. I remember this happened a lot with, especially when I was like a teenager in early 20s of like we were all actor kids. So there was the aspect of like you'd have your friend group. But then one of your friends would be like, I'm now a lead on a TV show. And it's like, oh, that's really hard to not compare because we're all trying to make it in this acting industry. And now you're a successful actor and I'm still a working actor. But then it's like, wait, but you're your own person on your own journey. And I've got my own thing. But it's hard. It's a hard thing to get over. But I wish these friends would be like, wait, why are we doing this? Why are we saying this? It's stupid. Like there's not like this limited amount of space that can be taken up by each person. Like you guys can all be as authentically you and take up as much space as you want as yourself. There's bloody square footage in the club for everybody to better try another dress. Yeah. I feel like if someone's struggling with that kind of mentality, they're thinking that just like life is a zero sum game. If they win, I have to lose. Right. But that's not true. Maybe at the club, someone's going to find your friend cute and someone's going to find you cute. Absolutely. Everyone has their own taste, but it is so hard with friendships. There is really a chance. If she brings it up and the friends recognize that what they did wasn't right or was coming from a place of insecurity, maybe the friendship is salvageable, but they should not be treating you that way. We're going to see because we have an update. Period. A finale update. Let's go. I am seriously considering going home. I got up this morning and when I went to get dressed after my shower, I found that several of my clothes had been vandalized. Two of my tops had been torn. A skirt of mine is completely butchered. A couple of my dresses look like they went through a wood shipper and a pair of my heels has toothpaste squirted into the base. Both of them are denying they did it. Honestly. There's only three of them. Wait. Hold on. I don't know why I picture like six skirts. There's only two parts. There's like, who did this? Oh my god. She's holding toothpaste. Honestly, I am just beyond crushed that they did this to my clothing and don't even have the nerve to admit it. It genuinely makes me want to cry. Oh. Update number two. Oh. Well, it's been some time since my original post so I thought it would be a good time to update after I gave myself time to process. I want to start with a statement that I am no longer friends with either L or K. Probably smart. Understandable? After reading the comments under my original post, I realized how crappy what they did was and that it put me in danger. The night after they vandalized my stuff, we went out to breakfast and I let them know that since I am the only person whose name is checked in on the hotel, and my boyfriend paid for it, they both had five hours to pack and find another place to stay or they could talk it out with me and pay for the clothes/shoes that they damaged. This was not met kindly and both of them started cursing me out and telling me I was a selfish conniving snake-ass bit. Oh. I told them that it was their choice to destroy my clothes and all I wanted to do was talk it out with them and figure out why this had happened in the first place. I didn't get a straight answer other than I'm a selfish pick me who doesn't deserve anything I have. So, I took it as them giving me my answer. Luckily, they were not difficult besides some passive-aggressive comments. I enjoyed the rest of my vacation as best I could given that I was alone. Luckily, a lot of the local women were extremely kind and chatted with me wherever I was so it didn't feel as bad. I've been home for a little less than a week and have received several nasty text messages from both L and K, plus some mutual friends. I've spent most of this week trying to come to terms with the fact that I am losing several friendships over this. Thanks for all the help though. The comments really gave me solid advice and the guts to actually stick up for myself in this situation. Also, I forgot to mention this, but to the one person under my original post who said they would try to sleep with my boyfriend, they did. So the two L and K. L and K tried to sleep with her boyfriend. The day after we got home, my boyfriend showed me a text K sent him. Basically, it was a lengthy text message about how I'm only with him because he has money and they should meet up for coffee so she could show him he deserves better. Oh, wee. What a mess. Oh. Diabolical. No. Wow. The epitome of Diabolical. I can't even believe it, but it must be really hard for her to go through losing so many friendships that was like that must be so hurtful, but oh my God, are you better off? Yeah. You're going to be so much better off, honey, those girls were not your friends. No. No, they called you a pygmy, said the pygmies. They left you physically unsafe, they hurt your feelings, they compare themselves to you. Destroy your property. They're calling you a pygmy. I don't love that term, but if anyone's being the pygmy respectfully, they were even telling your boyfriend to pick them right now, and I get it about coming from a place where they are scared that they won't get picked, but if they can't be cognizant of that, and can't you know, move beyond that, you're really better off without them in your life. Yeah. No, this is very much a 20 year old arc, right? Like, we all like, they're pushing it. Yeah. They're pushing. This is giving girls camp behavior, like summer camp, like bullying that one. Mean girl. Yeah. Mean girls. Yeah. No, it's like, it's a scary thing, and like, you, we're all insecure about many things, but you see people who are listening to their insecurities, and they're letting their insecurities lead them to their decisions, and that's scary. At least people to do, like, dangerous things, or just horrible things, and that's what happened. Yeah, being insecure or feeling jealous, even when it comes to friendships, or like your actor friend who baited it or whatever. I think that all those things are so human and natural, and everyone's going to experience them, but it's about whether or not you're acting on those feelings and hurting other people as a consequence of it, and also not even, like, owning up to it. They're just, like, tripling down. Yeah. No, they'd be insane. They doubled down, and then they were like, that was me, and then they tripled down and cursed her out, like, at breakfast. And then quadrupled down, they're texting the boy friends. Yeah. Crazy. Crazy. And then they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then, they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they're, like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they were like, "Oh, I love that.", and then they were like, "Oh,