Reddit Is The Best Medicine | Reading Reddit Stories

This episode of Reddit Stories is sponsored by Southern New Hampshire University. I get it. We're all busy. Adding another thing to your plate right now probably feels pretty much impossible. But if you've been thinking about going back to school, SNHU might be the solution you've been waiting for. With SNHU, you can get your degree online and on your schedule. Instead of logging in for live streamed lectures, you'll get to participate in a way that feels suspiciously on brand for this show. Discussion boards. Sorry, no upvoting, flair, or awards, but you'll still get to share your thoughts and interact with classmates from all over the country. Plus, your weekly assignments focus on the good stuff, like building skills you can actually use on the job. Okay, TLDR, SNHU puts you in control of your learning. Learn more and start your free application at snhu.edu. Insurance isn't one size fits all, and shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that just doesn't fit. That's why drivers have enjoyed Progressive's Name Your Price tool for years. With the Name Your Price tool, you tell them what you want to pay, and they show you options that fit your budget. Enough hunting for discounts, trying to calculate rates, and tinkering with coverages. Maybe you're picking out your very first policy, or maybe you're just looking for something that works better for you and your family. Either way, they make it simple to see your options. No guesswork, no surprises. Want to see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be? Visit progressive.com and give the Name Your Price tool a try. Take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Hello, and welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today's theme is medical stories. This is to help promote our live show that we just did, Smosh Hospital. You can still check out the VOD for it if you go to live.smosh.com. We're filming this before we do the show, but telling you, we've been working on it for a long time. I think the show was pretty good, so you're going to want to check it out. But this episode today, I'm joined by two people who know everything about medicine, Trevor and Ian. I've been to the doctor. Obviously, before we get into this, if anything medically related is triggering, for you, this might not be your episode. But I will say, apparently, it's not going to get too gory, too intense. These are just medical-related stories. Wow. This first one's awesome. Starting strong. Here we go. This comes from a subreddit, AskDocs, a subreddit where people can ask medical questions and all flared medical professionals are verified by moderators. So the responses are from legitimate healthcare professionals. This is awesome. Someone titled this post, "I shit so hard I can smell again." Wow. "I can smell again." Again. This was posted in May of 2022. So I'm guessing this person got COVID, lost their sense of smell maybe, and then shit really hard. Look, I have a sense of smell, but I wish I could experience this. Yeah. That's got to be, I mean, I've had some stinky poops. I think we all have. Okay. But pooping so stinky. I don't think it's a stinky. Do you think it's stinky or is that he shit hard? I think it's the force. Do you think it's the force? It's the physical. It's the physical release. I was thinking maybe it was like the smell. The smell was so bad. Literally so overpowering that it was like his brain figured it out. Yeah. No, literally. I was like it opened up his. I was thinking it was like a physical release. That makes more sense. Which sounds awesome. Let's see. Yeah. Sure. Let's see. Was it force or was it smell? Vote now in the comments below. So the craziest thing happened and I am wondering if I should seek medical attention. Today I woke up and nature called as usual. I made my way over to the bathroom and did my business. Now I'm not sure what happened exactly. If I pushed too hard or what. But something in my head popped. It was in the back of my head at the apex of the back of the skull. This is the part that scared me. I had intense pain. Really intense pain in the back of my head. I get cluster headaches and migraines. From time to time. But this was not a headache. This was just an intense pain in the back of my head. I am a cancer survivor. Ewing sarcoma. That is a cancer that forms in your bones or in nearby soft tissue. And I have dealt with level 10 pain. This was easily an 8 or a 9 on my pain scale. So I went back to my bed and my girlfriend saw how much pain I was in. She brought Advil and the pain went down to a dull roar for about 6 hours. And is now more or less gone. But the crazy thing that happened is when I got out of bed I just started sniffling. And then a large amount of mucus just came out of both nostrils. The most I have ever seen in my life. Now I have had almost no sense of smell for quite a long time. I was always congested and could not smell anything. Antihistamines did nothing. After this event I can smell perfectly again. I am smelling things I haven't smelled in forever. And getting very nostalgic. I am honestly so worried. That something is going to build up and take my smell away again. But even if it does, today has just been the best day in a long time. I am in no pain right now. But I am wondering if I should seek medical attention. I am also wondering if this will stop my snoring. I guess I will find out tonight. Honestly this is such a ridiculous story and I am not even ashamed of it. I want to tell everyone. They write ha ha ha ha ha. Has anything like this happened to anyone else? TL;DR. I took a shit. I pushed my head. Became a booger faucet. Then regained my sense of smell. That's. As one does. I. Okay. I don't think the shit had anything to do. I don't think the shit in the pop had anything to do with like this like sudden like sinus evacuation. But he said he was in massive pain for like six hours. Yeah. Like so something. But it was the back of his head which shouldn't be related to. Sinus. Sinus. But I mean. You never know. Because I guess like pressure can build in weird ways. I mean our sinuses are like so like messed up. Yeah. That. Maybe his brain got confused between anus and sinus. And just kind of was like. Yeah. Let's clear them both out. Yeah. Yeah. Evacuate both. It was actually. The mucus was actually a living thing up there. And when he pooped so hard it like just got jostled around and had to evacuate. Yeah. That's probably what happened. Yeah. Well either way. It seems to me in my non-professional opinion. He did whatever he needed to do. Yeah. That was just the body correcting itself. He took care of business. Yeah. That's crazy. But like. To be in that much pain for that long. I. If I'm ever pooping and my head starts to hurt at like a level nine on a pain scale. I think I'm. I think I'm just dying. Yeah. Like I don't like. I don't know how I come back. I literally would be like. I think it might be my time to go. I might be meeting my maker today. Have either of you ever dealt with like a symptom or pain that then just like went away in an instant at some point? Yeah. No. I think. I don't know. Does this happen to anyone else? Because I feel like in my life anytime I have a weird medical thing I just assume that like yeah this is probably a normal thing that happens to people. But just getting like a really sharp pain and like a random point in your body and having it. Yeah. I don't know why does my forearm hurt like this all of a sudden and then it just goes away. Is that not like a cramp? Like a. It's not like a cramp. It's like a sharp pain. It's not like a soreness like muscle pain. It's like I just feel like this almost like sharp like someone is like poking a needle in my arm and I'm like ah. And then it goes away. Interesting. Interesting. Oh. I don't know. I'm getting some nods. But a lot of people nodded. Yeah. It's just your growing pains because you're still a growing boy. Still a little guy. You're still getting taller. I'm still getting taller. I one time a few years ago in the pandemic when I was just like home one day. I was working out and I think I was doing like lunges and suddenly like something in my knee kind of like felt like it felt like something was out of place and it hurt really bad and it kind of like was messed up like all day or for like a couple days and I was like damn and I was like hobbling around and suddenly at one point like I just kind of for some reason I bent my leg and it was just kind of like and it was fine. Yeah. I was like it just kind of like snapped back into place and I was like oh and I'm fully good again. Yeah. Wow. That's amazing. All right. I thought I don't know. It wasn't like horrible pain. It was just kind of like oh like something's off. Like I couldn't. Yeah. I was having trouble and then it just clicked back into place. I feel that way like when you got like a little headache and then you just like pop a little ibuprofen. And then it works really fast. And like what the frick. Like that. Why does that work? That's crazy. Yeah. Raven, my fiance, she just recently had a head thing because she gets really bad migraines and like tension headaches. She was telling me that she was in bed and like her jaw has been hurting recently like eating. It's just sore. Oh shit. And she was like I was in bed and yawned and just like the loudest crack in her jaw and her jaw immediately stopped hurting. But then she had a headache for like two days afterward. And I was like I don't know and like I'll give her like lots of neck massages because I think like some of that like tightness in the neck can lead to that. But I was like I don't know. I was like that freaks me out. Do you have TMJ? Well I don't know. Maybe. Maybe. But can it just fix from one pop? Maybe. Like I it's anytime there's a big pop or something in my body I'm like this might be the end. Living by myself I when because I've tripped down my stairs a few times. Oh shit. a handle like I don't have like a railing to hold on to which is probably stupid and um and I've fallen a few times down my stairs and I'm like this could be the time that I fall down the stairs and nobody will find me for a week we're doing the red stories with just Trevor yeah we're like isn't there somebody else who's supposed to be here and I feel the bottom of the stairs like Peter Griffin like just yeah yeah no I need to I need to I need to get a railing by the time I'm like 50 because then it's like then you've got a couple years yeah because I feel like because I landed pretty freaking hard on my hip one time and I was like dude if I was like any older I would be toast yeah oh you just get ahead of it and just get one of those ones that takes you down dude honestly they look like so insurance isn't one size fits all and shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that just doesn't fit that's why drivers have enjoyed Progressive's Name Your Price tool for years with the Name Your Price tool you tell them what you want to pay and they show you options that fit your budget enough hunting for discounts trying to calculate rates and tinkering with coverages maybe you're picking out your very first policy or maybe you're just looking for something that works better for you and your family either way they make it simple to see your options no guesswork no surprises ready to see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be visit progressive.com and get started give the Name Your Price tool a try take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates price and coverage match limited by state law this episode of reddit stories is sponsored by rocket money there was a period of time when I was overspending a lot I was getting dinner with friends treating myself to a coffee in the morning grabbing a sweet treat with the cast the list goes on I started using rocket money because it helped me manage my finances and recognize my spending patterns with rocket money it's become a part of my life and I've been using it for a long time now with rocket money it's become easier to set budgets and goals with real-time reports I'm able to see the big picture now I'm saving up for a vacation and watching my money grow feels so good and for those of you listening who maybe don't want to be glued to your financial dashboard that's okay with rocket money's set it and forget it approach your savings can be automated so that it grows towards your goal with adjustable amounts and frequency rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your spending costs and helps lower your spending costs and helps lower your spending costs and helps lower your spending costs and helps lower your spending costs and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings let rocket money help you reach your financial goals faster join at rocketmoney.com slash pit reddit that's rocketmoney.com slash pit reddit rocketmoney.com slash pit reddit what insurance isn't one size fits all and shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that just doesn't fit that's why drivers have enjoyed progressives name your price tool for years with the name your price tool you tell them what you want to pay and they show you options that fit your budget enough hunting for discounts trying to calculate rates and tinkering with coverages maybe you're picking out your very first policy or maybe you're just looking for something that works better for you and your family either way they make it simple to see your options no guesswork no surprises ready to see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be visit progressive.com and give the name your price tool a try take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates price and coverage match limited by state law this episode of reddit stories is sponsored by rocket money there was a period of time when i was overspending a lot i was getting dinner with friends treating myself to a coffee in the morning grabbing a sweet treat with the cast the list goes on i started using rocket money because it helped me manage my finances and recognize my spending patterns with rocket money it's become easier to set budgets and goals with real-time reports i'm able to see the big picture now i'm saving up for a vacation and watching my money grow feels so good and for those of you listening who maybe don't want to be glued to your financial debt i'm going to show you how you can save up for a vacation and watch my money grow dashboard that's okay with rocket money's set it and forget it approach your savings can be automated so that it grows towards your goal with adjustable amounts and frequency rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings let rocket money help you reach your financial goals faster join at rocket money.com slash pit reddit that's rocket money.com slash pit reddit rocket money.com slash pit reddit that's it so okay so what happened yeah i gotta know i gotta know so here are the responses okay so these are the experts that are waiting in now a emt dash b aka an emergency medical technician basic responded op i am very glad that you can experience smell again and we're able to enjoy the basic joy that is meatloaf with ketchup what's concerning me is the level of pain you experience during and after the event plus your medical history as wonderful and miraculous this event is you need to go to an emergency room and get your medical history and medical history and medical history and medical asap at triage report your history of cancer the pop the intense pain and the ability to smell again you need imaging and a coagulation panel immediately 1000 upvotes so a non-medical professional responded my sister-in-law was on the phone with her mom when mom suddenly said something just popped in my head and now i have an awful headache then she started slurring her words and later stopped talking she had a stroke my 30 year old friend was with friends and said something popped in my head and i feel really weird then screaming from pain aneurysm had burst three surgeries later and they had inserted three stents the doctor said it was amazing that she arrived at the hospital and friends reported uh what happened in time to save her go to the er with any tremendous headache with a sudden onset dude aneurysm is like the scariest it is the absolute scariest thing the idea that you can just be sitting somewhere in your brain just like bursts like that's horrifying yeah um but it's i've i have heard that advice that a sudden extreme headache is like a headache it's like a headache like go to the emergency room yeah update oh yes woke up totally fine i'm going to tell my gp what happened and probably end up with an mri my mother died of an aneurysm about 10 years ago so i have had a few mris because it can be hereditary i haven't had an mri in the last five years though i have also had a ton of ct scans from my days with cancer either way based on what i'm seeing here i will 100 tell my doctor i have a feeling that i'm going to die soon i'm going to die soon nothing will turn up on the scan but it's better to be safe than sorry my gp is right next to the hospital so i can go straight to the er the reason i didn't go to the er right away was because i am tested constantly because of my cancer from heart function yearly to an mri ct every five years to blood tests every six months i have been cancer free for 20 years now though the less happy reason i didn't go is that i found my mother dead in bed when she had her aneurysm and i was told even if it had burst while she was next to a paramedic there would have only been a 50 chance she would survive and if she did there would only be a 50 chance she should have regular brain function i figured if i was having an aneurysm there wouldn't be much i could do and i just wanted to lay in bed with my girlfriend as my last moments but then the pain went away and he smelled and i was smelling yeah and i could finally smell that my girlfriend smelled really bad my stinky girlfriend oh you're stinky i i like the idea that he's like well it could be an aneurysm but i'm alive so i'm good yeah he was like oh i'm gonna wait here but i'm like you waited you said for six hours the pain was going yeah i would go to the go to the er right away yeah um okay update number two okay i talked to a nurse and i'm waiting for a doctor they believe i had some sort of cyst blocking my smell receptors and what was clear out was all infection they said to go to the er if my headache comes back or i start having clear fluid drip out my nose and to lean forward to check if anything is coming out i'll see what the doctor says within the hour uh ew what is emily yeah emily wrote in uh you ever poop so hard you pop a cyst ew ew that's crazy my head my head oh my god okay final update let's see what they said um so there were 10 plus updates from op oh my god okay they did a great job of keeping people posted communicating their medical journey we've summed up some of them here plus have included the final update all right to summarize op's doctor encourages them to go to the er for testing because she said my story is very interesting but she doesn't like it at all this needs punch-ups yeah that's such a funny thing to hear from a doctor like okay this is pretty crazy and interesting but i don't like i don't i don't like it i don't like it and i don't like you once op is finally seen op has a bit of high blood pressure and at first the nurse says they're going to do a ct and possibly a lumbar puncture so a lumbar puncture was just explained to me and that is where they basically need to get spinal fluid they need to test that and so uh apparently they're going to do a ct and they're going to do a lumbar puncture it's like the substance yeah exactly basically the substance yeah um all right final update i hope after all of this waiting i have finally been discharged i have no aneurysms and he said that he doesn't think i need a spinal tap because the chances of me having bleeding is very very low however if i get a bad headache have trouble walking or anything like that i must go back and i'll be tapped at that point he said he has no idea what happened to me yesterday he said i should scream this story from the rooftops because it's a great story and to be honest i agree my blood pressure wasn't too bad he said i think it was 180 over 90 on the last one but i'm not sure I have to monitor myself closely and go back at the first sign of trouble I haven't eaten anything today I can't wait to get home and have some leftover meatloaf and smoke a bowl the one silver lining is I guess hell yeah dude meatloaf in a bowl turns out our MRI shows that your fucking chill is held the one silver lining is I guess I get to wait nine years before I get tested again ha ha ha ha parenthesis kidding to all of you who have supported me today thank you from the bottom of my heart thank you all i was so certain i was fine until i read these messages but honestly i'm glad i went it's better to be safe than sorry never underestimate the power of human compassion there are so many bad things in this world so many things that make it seem not worth it but no matter how dark it gets no matter how much you think the world is against you just know that there will always be a few thousand people to listen to your shit stories all the best that guy who shits so hard he could smell again yeah and everybody clapped and everybody clapped he really turned that around made it heartfelt yeah that's that's lovely yeah that's an insane story i think it's just like another one of those cases though like where and obviously i know it's a little trickier in the u.s with our health care system but like if if if you're there's something feels off about your body and you're just like something doesn't feel normal right just go i know just go you because like if you're just waiting for it to get worse that could make your recovery worse or you know right something could snowball like if something feels weird just go yeah that was my experience when i started to feel tooth pain and i was like oh it's probably just like tmj or something i don't need to worry about it and then my tooth felt like it was going to explode suddenly and i was the weekend so i was like oh my dentist won't see me till monday i can i can hold off and the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life yeah I've said it before I would I would go I'd break both my ankles again before I had to experience that that was that shit was awful yeah it was like an abscess or yeah it was a it was a uh yeah it was an infection and everything so they had to do a root canal and it was but once they did the root canal I was like I was grateful like I was excited to get a root canal so I was like fucking pull this out yeah I'm like a I'm a serial I'm in pain and I just I'll just wait and see if it goes away because I honestly I had something happen my tooth too where I had like it felt like a little cut maybe on my gum but it was like so painful and my whole tooth was like sore oh uh and it went away okay I never went and got it looked at and that's bad advice the tooth fell out the tooth got really black and fell out it smelled really bad but it hurt so bad for like like it hurt to eat or drink anything for like three or four days my god man I know that's youth yeah don't do it don't do it I mean I think I was literally your age when that tooth infection happened so yeah man well guess who didn't get a root canal okay okay all right our next story comes from relationship advice uh this was posted in 2024 uh it's a 37 year old woman my husband who's 36 put martial arts training ahead of helping me get emergency medical treatment and I'm not sure how to react sorry honey my martial arts training my training comes first as the title says and I'm not sure how to feel about it or react to it I had a sudden unexplained hematoma appear in my hand and wrist uh hematoma is when blood pools under the skin and can't drain out and can damage large blood vessels it's bulging and sore causing my whole arm to ache probably about five inches by five inches and sticking out an inch I'm also 22 weeks pregnant and on aspirin he came home from work within 20 minutes of this happening I showed him and he agreed that it was alarming and I needed to see a doctor urgently he's just like let me just give it a nice chop yeah let me try something we have a one-year-old together and I have children from a previous relationship as does he he's a stepdad I'm a stepmom and I'm a stepdad and I'm a stepmom I said could he watch the kids he asked if my mother could as he had training my mother had work I just left it and began cooking dinner totally shocked he got changed into his training gear and came back to the kitchen I said to him I'm going to struggle to make dinner with my one hand he said I'll pick up takeaway after training I said since he was going to training I have to cook for the kids as it's their bedtime soon he ignored me and proceeded to tell me that he is tense from work and might need to get in with a massage therapist after he left I rang him to call him out on this he said he would come home if it was that bad he said he'd get takeaway but he needs to go to training for his mental health so he went I cooked and took care of the baby and children he came home ate showered and is in bed eventually he asked how my hand is showed him it's three times bigger than when he left he said to go to the emergency room I don't want to now I'm so tired I feel like I'm not worth it anyway and I'm there I'll just be worried about the baby and he won't help to alleviate it I felt it was really cold that he went to training instead of watching the kids while I sought treatment but I'm not sure if I'm overreacting oh wow the amount of stories we read similar to this it's like yeah I was dying and he was like no but I've got basketball practice like what babe babe for my mental health I can't help you I got it sorry I got to get my gi I get you have this freaky unknown thing happening with your arm and hand but like gotta think about my mentals yeah and and and also I might have to get a massage after yeah yeah I might I just I might have to get a massage I'm so I understand you're going through a lot but I'm going through a lot too I kind of need a massage that's that's crazy that she's like I gotta make my kids dinner because like in my head I'm like you gotta go to the hospital yeah like figure out the food thing like with the kids no this is this is that's uh yeah yeah um comments you still haven't gone to the emergency room go to the emergency room deal with this fuckery later you need a medical professional my friend had three dbt deep vein thrombosis and two svts supraventricular tachycardia during pregnancy they looked like what you describe again go to the emergency room OP responded I'm here now it got so painful I thought my hand was going to explode someone else said you are not overreacting you are underreacting to your children and stepchildren you are more important than the whole world they rely on you go to the emergency room ASAP then kick this loser out permanently he is making your life harder and dangerous someone else said most martial arts at their core are about becoming a better more rounded up person not dancing around on a mat that includes protecting those in need putting them above yourself your husband is a failure I would have lost respect another martial arts guy coming in and being like that is not the way I can tell by this post that your your husband is terrible at karate someone said I'm also wondering if he may be having an affair and the training and massage was actually him meeting his affair partner oh he's getting a massage the problem is when someone's sorry I won't if you're just listening to this on the podcast you're welcome yeah if you saw some video I'm sorry if someone listening to this knows exactly what you did yeah yeah they heard the jerk motion through the air where was he planning to get a massage at night after his training do you know why his previous marriage failed did he cheat on his first wife OP responds yes he cheated he did it last night he cheated on his loudly and proudly too and made her think she was crazy. She has sworn off men now. I didn't know this when we got together. He also made out to me that she was perfect and the relationship perfect and that I ought to hold a torch. I obviously didn't know he was a total asshole then. He swooped in post-violent asshole. I probably needed a therapist, not a cuddle. I'm just having a revelation. Wow. Holy crap. Oh my god. Yeah. I hope this is the wake-up call because it just makes me so sad. It's sadly one where you read it and it's like, man, it doesn't really matter if he's having an affair or not. He's so awful. Yeah. Okay, look. So he says he's doing karate, right? So now what she needs to do is set up a scenario where somebody goes to rob both of them. And see if he actually knows karate. Yeah. And then check his form, you know? How are his punches? How are his spin kicks? Yeah. The person that she should hire should be someone who's good at martial arts. Yes. A black belt. A black belt. At the very least. And just, yeah. And if he can't defend himself, he gets his ass kicked. Go comment that. It's a win-win. Go comment that. I think we figured this out. But first, obviously, yeah. The hospital is. Take care of that first. She's at the hospital now. And then get your husband's ass kicked. Yeah, get his ass kicked. It's like kind of one of those where every Reddit post has a comment that's like, they're cheating. And it's kind of like, okay. But the second she's like, yeah, he did cheat in his previous relationship. It's like. And was proud of it. And was like loud and proud and gaslighted his ex. I'm just like, oh, well. Well, now, now, yeah, I believe it because he also is just insurance isn't one size fits all and shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that just doesn't fit. With the Name Your Price tool, you tell them what you want to pay and they show you options that fit your budget, enough hunting for discounts, trying to calculate rates and tinkering with coverages. Ready to see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be? This episode of Reddit Stories is sponsored by Rocket Money. There was a period of time when I was overspending a lot. I was getting dinner with friends, treating myself to a coffee in the morning, grabbing a sweet treat with the cast, the list goes on. I started using Rocket Money because it helped me manage my finances and recognize my spending patterns. With Rocket Money, it's become easier to set budgets and goals. With real-time reports, I'm able to see the big picture. Now, I'm saving up for a vacation and watching my money grow feels so good. And for those of you listening who maybe don't want to be glued to your financial dashboard, that's okay. With Rocket Money's set-it-and-forget-it approach, your savings can be automated so that it grows towards your goal, with adjustable amounts and frequency. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/pitreddit. That's rocketmoney.com/pitreddit. rocketmoney.com/pitreddit. Not acting like he gives a shit about you. Yeah. So, all signs are pointing to that now. Every medical thing related to this, it gets amplified by the fact that she's pregnant. Like, I keep forgetting that aspect. It's like, any small medical thing is so much more serious when you're pregnant. Sure. So, that's just a whole other aspect to it. I feel like if someone, you know, if my partner, for any reason, even if it's not like a visible, like, giant thing on your arm, if they're like, "Hey, I don't feel right. I think, like, I need to go to the hospital," there is never a situation where I'm like, "Ah, sorry. I don't think that's gonna. " I'm like, "Let's get you there. Like, I'm gonna find a way to get you to a hospital if you feel like you need to go." Right. Yeah. Right. I could never imagine in a million years being like, "I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna leave you alone while you're. " Especially when there's kids. I'm like, "Dude." Yeah. Like, you don't care about anybody in this situation. No. Mm. Well, there's no more updates, but I'm glad she went to the hospital. It sounds like she's having a revelation. Mm-hmm. Hopefully. Let's hope for the best. She's in a better place now. All right. Our next story comes from True Off My Chest. This was posted 2025. OP writes. Mm-hmm. It's called, "I Get Up and Drop My Tissue." "I immediately bend down to get it, but the room is so small, and I'm proximity blind, so my ass hits the chair, and Rocket launches me face-first into the wall right next to him. And to make it worse, as I pull away, I leave an imprint of my tear-soaked, snotty face on the wall. I got up with my face red, snotty, and wet, and straight-up laughed the stupidest, most low-IQ laugh known to mankind. Because, like, what is even going on right now? I then stood there with the composure of a dumbfounded brick. Yeah. as the remnants of my face-plant of doom haunted me a few inches away. The doctor turned away and stifled a laugh, then asked if I was fine. And all I could do was wish I pretended I passed out, with my face glued to the wall by my snot, so I wouldn't have had to face him again." Whoa. Dude. All right. That's, um, that's pretty funny. And then they, and then they died. Yeah. Just dead. Yeah. Pretty good. Wow. Yeah, so that happened to this person. I, I, I, how, how, yeah, you have to have a lot of moisture on your face for it to leave an imprint. I just imagine it was like, they hit the wall and went, it was like. Just skidding. Yeah. Just slowly sliding down, just face first. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so there's, so there's that. I was gonna make a. I don't know. Okay. I was gonna make a joke, because he said it was, um, because it's medical, and he said, "This is the subreddit, true off my chest." I was like, "Oh, it's gonna be a mastectomy, uh, story." Oops. That's fun. Hey. Hey. That's funny. Truly? True? True? I don't know. Um. That's just a joke. That's just a joke I had bouncing around in my head. I think it's just jokes. That was good. Yeah. I don't think I needed to get that off my chest, you know? I get it. Hey, true, off my chest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. in. But I'm just sitting there just kind of like, this, I hope, this is weird. I'm just like, this is really weird. But I'm like, they've looked at so many people today. And like, so the doctor then comes in and he's just kind of like, alright, yeah, I'm just like looking around and I'm just kind of like, oh, yeah, whatever. Because like as someone who's not doing that all day every day, you recognize how weird the situation is. But for a doctor, completely normal. But for her, smashing face first into a wall, that's super embarrassing and she should feel embarrassed. He's never seen that before in his life. Yeah, that's true. No one's ever seen that before in their life. I gotta believe that doctors probably love stuff like that. Because I'm sure that they deal with a lot of difficult things, like sad, difficult, whatever it is. And then for them to just have someone do something that funny, that's probably like a nice little bright spot on his day. I think so. I think so. You gave him a nice Looney Tunes moment. Yeah. Enjoyed the comments. Nothing in life is free. You had to pay up somehow. Someone said, I've been a supervisor before specializing in the onboarding department. I would go through many candidates a week. I would hire you. Why? Because you're genuine. That's all. You did great. Give yourself some slack. Let your human self be human for a moment. Yeah. Yeah. Prime nurse material. That's what they're saying. I don't know if I'd want my nurse to be falling face first into things. When your nurse comes in to save your life, but there's a banana peel on the floor. I'll save you. There's a rake on the ground. Slide through the wall and leaves a perfect silhouette. I am imagining, I know this didn't happen. I'm imagining like she like went into the wall, like it smashed into the wall. Fun. Fun to visualize. Love it. All right. Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole? This was posted in April of 2024 Am I the asshole for not paying hospital bills after my friend tripped over my dog? Oh, okay. We got ourselves a little dilemma here. Got ourselves a dilemma. Okay. Yesterday, my friends and I were hanging out in the park. Me plus my dog, my friend Kathy plus her dog and another friend, Jenny. Jenny was walking Kathy's dog and they were walking ahead of us. Kathy was walking a bit behind me and my dog. Kathy decided that she wanted to catch up with Jenny. So she started running from behind me. As Kathy ran past me and my dog, she fell and tripped. We thought it was a minor injury, but it turns out she dislocated her shoulder and needs surgery. Kathy says that while she was running past us, my dog suddenly ran toward her and she tripped over my dog. Honestly, I didn't see clearly how exactly she tripped. I couldn't tell if my dog actually ran into her or if she tripped over my dog on her own. My dog didn't make a sound, and didn't seem bothered. Jenny also said she couldn't tell. Kathy wants me to pay her hospital bills because she says it's my dog's fault that she tripped. But I feel like it's unfair for her to ask this. If my dog had bit her or attacked her, obviously that'd be a different story and I would 100% pay all the medical bills. But in this instance, Jenny and I are both unsure if whether my dog ran into Kathy, whether Kathy tripped over my dog, or whether Kathy tripped by herself near my dog. Kathy started running from behind me, so I didn't have a clear view of what happened. The money isn't a big deal, but out of principle, I don't want to pay the bills because I feel like this isn't my fault. Am I the asshole? Edit. By the way, my dog. dog is a corgi so pretty small low to the ground not big enough to knock anyone over but you could definitely trip if you ran into you while you were running edit number two kathy is my co-worker we've been hanging out more so i started to think of her as my friend but we are co-workers we work together in the same smallish office which also makes things a little more awkward i i mean like the thing is like kathy's the one that's making this awkward like i i think like i think if the dog's on a leash i don't think it's the owner's responsibility because like i could see like if you're if you're at a dog park or something and a dog big dog barreling towards you hits your leg breaks your leg or whatever then i'd say yeah yeah that's on the owner but this person was doing the running mm-hmm not the dog yeah i don't know i don't think she i don't think she owes kathy jack squat i i i don't either i don't think there's a way you can cut this situation like even if the dog did run into her she's the one that decided to run and you never know how a dog's gonna react if you start moving fast out of nowhere like like my dog can just be laying on the floor and if i get up from the couch too fast he's like you you want to fight like you you're just like you're you're running around a dog and if the dog gets underneath you like it's a dog it's a small dog it's an animal like that's on you as a human to be responsible also the dog didn't get hurt or didn't yell or anything yeah that's almost making me think like she didn't even trip on the contact is questionable sounds like just a skill issue yeah yeah and like i'm no lawyer but i think like if you agree to pay for her medical bills then you're admitting responsibility and then what happens if she's like oh actually i need physical therapy for my shoulder too and you're like no i don't have to do that i'm just gonna do it myself i'm just gonna do it myself i'm just gonna do it myself want to do that then she sues you and she's like well you paid for this you admitted fault i don't know i'm just i'm just thinking america brain right now no for sure it certainly gets into like murky territory of like if you're just running and you run into someone can you blame them for your age you're just like nah man like you chose to run like you there's obstacles you're on a hiking trail you're not like i don't know this just reminded this just unlocked a memory i was a kid one time there's just parked on the street from my house and i got i had to have been like like eight years old probably like i was in elementary school and someone like had their dog like off of a leash and they were just like playing fetch and i didn't see and then there was just a ball on the ground like a tennis ball and i like went to the ball and this dog just barreling and just completely sweeps my legs out from under me and i literally like did a flip and just like landed no no no I was like what the and then i just went i just walked home yeah i didn't even talk to the person i didn't talk the person didn't talk to me like the dog just like took me out grabbed the ball and i was like all right guess i'm going home i wasn't meant to be outside videos videos of dogs just absolutely leveling yeah people or kids yeah hilarious yeah no it was like i wish i had a video and could see from like an outsider's perspective because i remember i remember like genuine my legs flying up in the air no like when a dog's just going and they just barrel into someone's very funny i also love videos not quite the same but where people are walking and a cat will be waiting somewhere and just like fucking smack them in the face that shit's hilarious see when you see videos of cats doing that stuff it's so intentional yeah dogs do it by accident yeah right cats are actually like no i meant to hit you yeah that's great verdict not the asshole okay comments accidents are why one has health insurance not the asshole also keep in mind that if you consent to pay you may open up a pandora's box of issues lingering pain in the future physical rehabilitation pain and suffering etc 6 000 up votes someone said not the asshole this was all kathy's fault she came from behind so you could not see her and she was the one running into your dog don't pay she was negligent and injured herself uh someone responded that yep if anything she rear-ended that dog and therefore is 100 but also tell me you're american without telling me you're american someone responded that saying the asshole is the american health care system true yeah sure lastly someone said kathy can get fucked here frankly fuck kathy she decided to run and ran into a damn corgi tell her ass to eat her vegetables and a glass of milk because she's fragile as shit oh my god oh is there a picture of the corgi no oh what's the fucking point what's the point it's the poster's fault that's what they're the asshole okay they're the asshole not including a picture of the asshole yeah that's how it goes next story also comes from am i the asshole this was posted in 2023 am i the asshole for refusing to remove my medical equipment during my sister's wedding oh my sister is getting married next weekend and i'm a bridesmaid i'm a type 1 diabetic and i wear two medical devices a dexcom blood sugar monitor on one arm and a omnipod insulin pump on the other they're both really small under two inches each and work together to automatically monitor and regulate my blood sugar levels this basically means i don't have to prick my fingers to test blood sugar or give myself insulin injections the system does that automatically and makes my life way easier today when we were trying on our dresses my sister told me she wants me to not wear them during the wedding because the gowns are sleeveless and the sweaters are too tight and i don't want to wear them during the wedding and i'm not going to put myself in a position to affect my health just for some photos my sister complained to our mother and some of our friends and they are all taking her side they say it's no big deal if i just don't wear them during the wedding but i don't see why i should mom suggested i could move them to my stomach but i've tried that before and find it incredibly uncomfortable when i put a new sensor on i'm stuck with it for 10 days until it expires and i can switch to a new one and i don't want to be stuck with one on my stomach where it will bother me the entire time they're all complaining that i'm not willing to compromise at all but i don't think my health should be an area where anyone can ask what i compromise at all am i the asshole that's insane that's unbelievable like um actually your health isn't important what's important is these photos looking real nice and you have that ugly little thing on your arm yeah that's that's insane yeah how hurtful and sensitive is that remark too because this is something she wears daily yeah and and her sister's going yeah that ugly shit you have on it's like damn dumb stupid fucking thing so this is how you think i look all the time yeah because of this that thing that keeps you alive yeah healthy now i got my for my brother's wedding i had like sprained my ankle really bad and i was in a boot and i was in a boot so for the pictures i took off the boot you know and then i just put it back on and that was like a very simple thing you know i just took it off and i was like oh my god i'm a few minutes to do the pictures but for something that's literally like a medical device for like diabetes like that that is on you insane ass like that is so yeah it's also a small device yeah said less than two inches each it's just like okay some people just get so obsessed with like the aesthetics of a wedding yeah and it's just like hey like there's there's color schemes there's there's certain themes fine but you're when it gets to like no change who you are as a that's always where they're in the wrong uh the verdict was not the asshole also unfortunate and this just seems like always the case when we read wedding reddit stories where the mom and other people side with the person who's shitty like just always feels like yeah the shitty person's gonna have more people backing them for some reason yeah i mean i think there's i think there's just a lot of like misunderstanding around you know like medical equipment and diabetes and stuff and people think it's like optional right i guess and yeah and it's easy for them to say it to someone to be like oh just move it to somewhere else it's just like you're not the one who has to deal with it like they are yeah um no and you're right like because like it's clear that she feels like a certain type of way about it all the time because like it's something that she noticed and brought up like if i was in that situation i wouldn't even think of that i feel like i wouldn't ever look at that and be like oh no i'm not gonna do that i'm not gonna do that i'm not gonna do that no like she's it's something that she notices and is always looking at or always like thinking thinking of often that it was a big enough deal for her to be like i don't want that in my picture right which is just like uncomfortable yeah it doesn't really matter what everyone else thinks because like if it's related to your health it's none of your business yeah of course 100 i agree with that um but what an awful situation for op because now her sister's done that her mom's she now even after this wedding whether she does this compromise or not it's like you have to move on past that knowing now how you're perceived by these people who are supposed to have your back that's got to be very hurtful um if it's so dire for the sister she could probably even talk to op and just be like is it cool if i photoshop it out afterwards like right fine like you know there's that option as opposed to like hey really alter all this stuff yeah that is so crucial to you that yeah that's a super i mean if it's if it's just like the glucose monitor on your arm that's super imagine being bothered by it to paint that out in photoshop sure that'd be easy to do but even still i'm like I just can't imagine being upset about that. It just communicates. Just even bringing it up communicates of like, oh, that thing, it's ugly. I don't want it in my photos. That ugly thing on your arm, could you move it? Even if you don't say it like that, that's what you're communicating. It's like, that thing isn't aesthetically pleasing. And that's just a really shitty thing to do. I think it's kind of cool. You look like a cyborg. Yeah, totally. Cyberpunk. Yeah, it is cyberpunk. Comments, not the asshole, promptly declined the invitation to attend if your sister cares more about her aesthetic wants than your medical needs. 12,000 upvotes. Someone said, seconding this, I just got married wearing my Dexcom and tandem pump. I wore my Dexcom on my lower back, but I normally wear it on my arm. I did so for photos, and you know what? It sucked. My readings were off, and I was stressed about that. Looking back, I don't care if you could have seen my Dexcom because it's a huge part of who I am. Tell your sister to kick rocks if she cares more about her aesthetically pleasing wedding slash photos than your well-being. Yes. Someone else said, not the asshole. Photoshop exists for reasons just like this. Asking you to compromise your health is selfish for them, not to mention unreasonable. Someone said, my aunt turned up to my wedding with four stitches in her forehead from surfing that morning. She was also dopey from the meds. The photographer we had just removed them, and we didn't notice until he told us he did it. Visit Progressive.com, and give the Name Your Price tool a try. Take the stress out of shopping, and find coverage that fits your life on your terms. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company & Affiliates. With Rocket Money's set-it-and-forget-it approach, your savings can be automated so that it grows towards your goal with adjustable amounts and frequency. Join at rocketmoney.com slash pitreddit. That's rocketmoney.com slash pitreddit. rocketmoney.com slash pitreddit. Hey, that's awesome. That's pretty cool. Yeah, my aunt was shredding some crazy gnar and cracked open her skull. Didn't matter. I love the idea of just showing up to a wedding just fucked up. We could cut this, but I'm also like, oh, and the photographer also made our aunt snatch, with huge natural. But it's just like crazy proportions. Like, what the hell did you do to her aunt? And her uncle, too. I love the idea. He's like, we just asked for a slight touch-up. Jesus, you gave my uncle just a massive butt. I love the idea of like going to my nephew's wedding and being like, dude, I kind of want to surf this morning. Let me go catch some waves this morning. I got to go catch some waves, dude. Someone said, not the asshole, and I am judging your mother. Your sister and mother suck, frankly. Who in their right minds asks someone they love to neglect their very serious health issue for aesthetics? A lot of people. A lot of people are just out of their minds at weddings. I don't know what the deal is. Update. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much to everyone for the responses. I didn't expect this post to blow up the way it did at all. So I have an update for everyone. I didn't want to involve others hoping to settle this between myself and my mom slash sister, but my brother, got wind of what happened last night and absolutely tore my mom and sister a new one about how hurtful it was to suggest I go without my devices just for her wedding photos. He then told my grandfather who is paying for the wedding. Grandpa apparently drove an hour into town this afternoon just to tell my mother how disappointed he was and that he must have gone wrong somewhere raising her. He told her that if they didn't apologize and make things right, my mom should figure out how to pay for all of the outstanding wedding costs herself. Now I do think this was a bit exaggerated, but it seems to work because they called me to apologize and say it was wrong of them to suggest I just go without my monitor and pump and we can find a way to dress it up instead. I accepted their apologies. We decided to try wearing flower corsages over each device so they can't be seen. If that doesn't work, we can try a shawl, as many of you suggested. Again, thank you for all the support. I'll be giving my grandpa a big hug and buying my little brother dinner tonight as a thank you for having my back on him. We'll see you next time. Bye bye. - I'm gonna go to bed. - You're gonna go to bed. - Ugh, dude, the surgeon made fun of my penis. - I'm dying, now I'm like dying to know. I wanna know details on this man's penis. - Yeah. - Is there a photo? - Is it a funny looking one? - Yeah. - Oh, God. - All right, let's go. - I, 32, male at the time, am a big dude of two meters and 120 kilograms, that's six foot six, 250 pounds, in drunk pirate units, and had, I had to have surgery on my calves because of varicose veins. So the day of, I was told to get completely undressed and put on the generic open back gown, which, due to my frame, made me look like Donald Duck, if you know what I mean. I was led to the OR by a nurse and placed on a cold metal table. They administered some local anesthesia to my legs, and after about 10 minutes, laying naked in a cold, brightly lit room, waiting to be sliced up, the two doctors strolled in. I was very anxious, cold, and self-conscious, so I just stayed still. Nurse. - He's really saying a lot of cold. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And also, it was really cold. - It's very cold. - And I was just in the pool. - Guys, it was really cold. - It was very cold. - Okay. - It's freezing, guys, freezing. - I think I see where this is going. Continue. - Nurse says anesthesia was given, patient ready. Doc one walks to the table. Wow, big fucker and such a small dick. - No. - No. - No. - No. - You can't just. - Doc two laughs. - OP goes, what? Nurse, in a panic, oh no, you have the wrong patient file. This one isn't the fully sedated one. He is awake. - Yes. - Dude, if I'm awake on an operating table and a doctor thinks I'm asleep and makes a joke about my tiny penis, I don't think I would make a noise. Like, I think I would be so mortified that I'd just be like, that was the worst thing ever. Like, I. - I might just go into a coma. - I might just die. - Um, I mean like, Yeah, wow. So, yeah, nobody said another word to me for the rest of the operation. Just 200 decibels of awkward silence while they ripped veins out of me. It felt like Ricky Gervais wrote this scene. I should have walked out, but I was too shocked to even think. When they were done, they exchanged quiet words with the nurse and quickly walked out. It was a bit shocking, but I quickly laughed it off. I mean, they weren't wrong, but man, some people. Edit, this was 10 years ago. I am fine. Oh, God. Damn, dude. I mean, yeah, of course, because you know, like, doctors are humans like everybody else, and they're going to talk, you know? I know. But there's obviously like a level of professionalism that you're supposed to bring to the workspace, and then you go home and you be like, honey, this dude. Dude, yeah. But, but, yikes. Yeah, dude. At the very least, if you're going to make fun of someone's dick, at least try and be funny. Like, like, like at least make like a something, like a little shirt, like, ooh. Right. Well, I didn't, didn't, didn't realize I ordered the shrimp Alfredo. Like, at least try and. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I would expect if they're even attempting. If they're attempting some sort of, you know, well thought out joke. I guess like, I guess like, I guess like, I guess like, like, why is it even worth commenting on? If I'm a doctor, like, I don't want to, I wouldn't want to like look, I would probably try to avoid looking at as many penises as possible. Like, I. Because you're going to see so many throughout the day. It's not something I want to look at. And like, I'm not going to like let my, like, like examine it. Like, I'm working on his legs. I'm going to look at his legs. I'm not going to like be like. I think of. But they had the wrong patient file. They didn't know why they were. Because it was a local anesthesia, not a full anesthesia. So this guy was fully awake. So dumbass. I read the chart wrong. I read the wrong chart. And then. It's kind of one of those situations where I'm like, I understand that they thought he was fully sedated. But it's like, dude, you're a professional. I also understand that doctors are just in there all day. This is just like becomes routine. But it's like, damn, man. Like, I'm still like, you're an asshole. You're like, that's still a really mean thing to be doing and saying and the way you're talking about patients. I mean, it's, it's physicians like that, that make people afraid to go to the doctor because they're self-conscious about something on their bodies that then they don't want to share with the doctors. They're afraid of that kind of judgment. So, yeah. I feel like commenting on anyone's like physical appearance in any way like that is just like, yeah, just something you don't need to do. It's not like a necessary. Comments, wrong patient file. The fuck do you mean wrong patient file? When did, I just saw a penis. Okay, what? Was it? It was, it was in a, it was in a show. And it was like, was it? The chair company. Was it, was it Saltburn? It was the most recent episode of the chair company. And I was, at the end, I was like, come on, man. It was weird. It was weird. A weird penis? No, it was, it was a fake penis, but it was a penis. And it was just, you didn't see it coming. You really didn't. Yeah. Anyways. Yeah, sometimes you don't. Another comment says, my grandma told me a story like this. She wasn't fully sedated while they, had to save her during an ectopic pregnancy. After the doctor came in, they said, oh boy, she's got some mud mashers on her. I know she ain't happy with those feet. She has a beautiful face, but look at those feet. My grandma wears a size 10 wide for women. So she has big feet, but stands at a solid 5'3", or 160 centimeters. She couldn't speak, but she wishes she had told them that she heard them after she fully woke up. OP responded, I once worked on a, a live streamed operation as a sound guy. Doc had a mic on, walks up to elderly cancer patient, opens the torso, sighs and says, yeah, close her back up. She won't live another month. Let's do lunch. This was streamed live to six universities. Docs are just people mechanics. Someone said, just a thought, but have you tried having a bigger penis? - Dude, hell yeah. - Oh. - I should, oh man, I never thought about that. - Dude, that's good advice. - Oh, that is really good advice. - Wow, damn. - I didn't know we'd be talk, just be on cock talk for like, the last 20 minutes of this. - That's what happens when you get the guys and ladies doing this. - Yeah, unfortunately. - That's a- - Unfortunately, that's just what happens and you get three boys in a room. - That's medical drama, you know what I mean? - Yeah. - Penises. - Did this happen on the pit? - Uh, yeah. - Yeah. - Probably. - That's my favorite part of the pit. - Did this happen in the live show? We don't know yet. - We don't know yet. - That's true. - Anything could have happened in that room. - In that live show, which you should check out by going to live.smosh.com. It's probably gonna be pretty wild. - It's pretty great. - It's pretty good. - It's pretty great. There's improv, there's things that we, we've written like an entire drama. - We have a full medical drama in there with also a bunch of improv wildness going on too. So anyways, Trevor, Ian, thank you for joining us. - Thank you. - For joining me. - Thank you. - Today. - Thank you, Dr. Top. - Yeah. - Thank you, Dr. Dilff. - Oh, wow, it does say that. - I mean, this is your office. - This is my office. - You must be Dr. Dilff. - I do sleep here. - For the podcast listeners, there's a plaque behind me that says Dr. Dilff. I had no idea that was there. - And it says MFT, PsyD, PhD. You were in college forever. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Still are. - Trying out for the bar tomorrow. - Nice, man. Add to it, Esquire. Pretty sick. Thank you for watching. And please go check out our live show at live.smosh.com. And we'll see you next Saturday. Bye. - Bye-bye. - Find the vacation you're looking for in Missouri. Whether you're searching for this, wanting something like this. - Oh, that's cute. - Maybe up for something like this. Or just really, really need something more like this. You'll find the vacation you want in Missouri. Missouri, it's the getaway that gets you. Plan your fun at visitmo.com. - Whether you're handling divorce amicably or need help navigating a more complicated split, Hello Divorce can help you sort it out. Their innovative online platform makes divorce easier, less stressful, and a lot more affordable. You'll get access to lawyers, mediators, and financial experts without retainers, surprise fees, and, or legal jargon. Thousands have trusted Hello Divorce. See why Hello Divorce is the highest rated online divorce platform on Trustpilot. 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