Really Expensive Earrings - With Corey Ryan

I'm getting up to find so far. I'm getting up to so far. Hey everybody, welcome to Crush the Podcast. I'm your host, Zana Weiss, and today we have a very special guest. It's Corey Ryan. Welcome. Hey. How are you? Cool. Cool. Cool. Everything's good. Awesome. I just listened to that podcast you were on. The Hannah bloggers corner, I think it's called. Yeah. The Navy sounds very traumatizing. You get used to it really quick. I realize that you can get used to anything really fast. You just have to accept it. You just can't. Yeah, you just gotta accept it. You can't hold on to what you used to do. I think that's when like, when like, anytime anybody does anything, they like, they try to think that like, things are gonna be like, how they used to be, like, at that old job. And then I was just like, "No, it's just. It's gonna suck for a little bit." Okay. Like, how so? Was it just like, not having as much autonomy over your life? That and like, whenever you like, go in, you don't know anybody. Everybody's like a little weird. Everybody's like a little scared. But nobody really wants to admit to that scared, I think. Like, I don't know. Everybody's just like a little. Well, like, when you first get out of boot camp, everybody's like afraid they're gonna get in trouble. Like, they scare you straight and boot. Like, they're not even scared about getting hurt. You're just scared about getting in trouble, because you can get in trouble for some so stupid. Yeah, I feel like there's a lot of rules. Yeah. There's a lot of rules. There's so many rules that like, people don't. People are trying to correct your own rules, and I'll be like, "Yeah, you're wrong." Well, like, I remember one day, I was leaving the ship and civilian clothes, and I had a hat on and it was backwards. And then somebody who was like a regga button, and he was just like, "Hey, you can't wear your hat like that." And I was like, "Yes, I can." And then somebody said, "I can't." And Shrushna says, "Straight forward or straight back, it just can't be cocked any more." And I was like, "You don't know what the fuck you talk about." I get out of my place, because I don't even work for you. Read the text. That sounds like being Catholic. Yeah. Like, there's only like a people who are like, just bored. Like, there's a lot of really cool people on the day. Just, there's like the people who like, kind of like assholes, they stand out and you remember them. More than the people that are nice. I guess that makes sense. How long were you in the Navy for? Eight years. Eight years, okay. How old are you now? I'll be 36 in December. Okay. Nice. I think everybody thinks that I'm like way younger than I actually have. Yeah, you do look younger. Yeah. I wasted a whole bunch of time. Well, the Navy gets you like set up, right? That means sort of. I mean, I was like, my set up is basically like, I have disability. I have 100% disability. That's like my, which is enough. But like, I don't think I, uh, VA healthcare. Okay. I have other stuff that I haven't taken advantage of just because I'm lazy. Well, you show. Like, uh, I think the GI bill, I haven't done anything with my GI bill yet. I know I get free plates. I haven't done that. Um, there's something else that I need to do. I can't remember. I don't know. I'm just going to go to a license plates or like, yeah, I'll get free. I get free disabled plates. Okay. Because I'm 100% disabled. I just got to go fill out paperwork and go to the Viet. Okay. But I'm really lazy. Gotta take advantage of everything they'll give you. They don't tell you about a lot. They just like let you go and then you got to look it up. And then you got to look it up. became like official or serious. Okay. It's weird, because you know that everybody that you're talking to or hanging around with, you're eventually gonna leave. That's true. Um, have you noticed like, differences in the dating cultures and the places that you've been? Yes. Like some places people move way faster, just like way more open to like doing crazy stuff. Like, uh, Japan. In Japan, like, everything's like a little bit different because there's a like a huge uh, disparity. There's like a huge difference in the ratio. There's like a lot of single women and there's a lot of men who are like just like as actual in Japan for some reason. I don't know. It's weird. So like the women are in Japan are super aggressive and they basically, this is why like most dudes who go get stationed in Japan, they come back married because the women are like aggressively go after you and then they treat you basically like a king. Um, one of my friends moved stationed in Japan. He he brought this girl back to his place. They hooked up and then he had to go to work the next morning. He told her I was like, ah, you can just leave. You don't have to lock up. They came home from work and she had cleaned his whole house. Oh my God. Yeah. They're like trying super hard to get a husband. They were like, I remember when I was there, they I saw a YouTube video where somebody was taking a poll of like Japanese people and asking if they were okay with their spouses cheating. The most of the women were like, yeah, I don't care as long as he's taking care of me and the family. Wow. That's like, and like also like the Japanese, a lot of Japanese businessmen, they don't really like go home every night. They go out straight because it's like part of their work culture. Yeah, I heard that that's like a really big thing over there. The work culture is really intense. Yes. And it's also it's it's super safe, but it's also like weird to just see like people passed out on a street in Tokyo because that does happen. And like nobody messes with nobody stills anything from them, but like you'll just see like people passed out at like four or five in the morning on the street. And I just drive from the bars. It was fun. But yeah, Japan they moved super fast. But besides that, everything was like everywhere else was like pretty summer. Okay. Except like I think Japan reminded me of when I went to college. Because when I was in college, the ratio was four to one. It was four women for every one guy, and which was like ridiculous. Like you didn't have to try. You just had to like I used to tell like new dudes. I was like pretty much you just have to be like sober enough to function at the end of the night. And you can probably talk to a girl. It was like they just need somebody who's a way. That's crazy. But yeah, that's what what Japan was like. But I didn't really take advantage. I just drank a lot. Didn't feel like it. I got a little depressed in Japan. I got sad. I don't know. It was just weird being over there. It's like nothing slightly off. But still the same. I don't know. I'm Miss America. I guess. Okay. What was your favorite thing about Japan that they don't have over here? I mean they have it here, but it's not the same. It's so much better than or like seven and a lot of. Oh yeah, I heard those are good. Yeah. So like most people don't know like seven eleven is like trash, but seven eleven is in Japan. They swap out the food like every three hours. And the food is like really good. It's cheap. Everything's like I that's the one thing that I realized from like traveling abroad is like most like places have like really strict rules about the food that they give the public. In America, we do not care. It's barely out of the lead to plastic. That's so true. Like the food in other countries like even in McDonald's, the food tasted better. Also when I was in the Middle East, Oreos taste better because they use real sugar, not sweetener. Okay. Also like so does taste better overseas because they don't use sweetener. They use real sugar. That's really interesting. I think that would be weird to like go to McDonald's and then have it like not being McDonald's, you know. It was like it was weird. They so crank horned in McDonald's in Japan. Oh yeah. They were like every like in other countries, they always sell like it's slightly different. Like when I was in Italy, they sold gelato and McDonald's. But like every country has something different. Like also when I was in Turkey, the subway, they don't because they don't eat. I don't think it was because they don't. There's something with beef. But like the meatball sub was made out of land. It wasn't beef. I'm vegan now, but lamb was like my favorite. It was still good. It was just like weird because I expected beef and I've been to it. I was like that needs to. It's so much more flavorful. Yeah. I like going overseas. It's fine. I like traveling. I just don't want to live anywhere like longer than I don't want to be stuck somewhere where like I can't come back. That was like I think that was like the biggest thing that like depressed me when I was in Japan. It was just like it was so expensive to get back to the States. And like I knew that like I couldn't just like come back any time that I want. Like if something happened to my mom. It was like a because I think a flight back to America was like $1300. Yeah. I was there for three years. I think I visited America one. It's too expensive. Yeah. Here if I want to go back home to see my mom, it's not that much. It's like $3400. Yeah. Where was your favorite place that you visited? It's probably I want to say Thailand, but I don't know if it's Thailand. See the Thailand if it but the Thailand it's just like you can get away with anything in Thailand and everything super cheap. The exchange rates like when I was there was like 33 to 1. I paid I think like $250 for like this huge sweep for a week. You go there like the most expensive part about Thailand is paying to get there. Once you're there, everything is super cheap. You don't have to spend that much money. I'm really spending any money every day and you can like haggle most things down. Also like they can do like you can do crazy stuff like dude. I got a suit like a custom made suit for $100. I want to like the shop picked out all the fabric that they were going to make it out of. Pick out the fabric they were going to make my shirt and tie out of school. I couldn't fit it after I got back from the employment because I gained so much weight because they put food you on the plane. But also you get the like it sounds super messed up to say. But like walking down the street especially because they know that you Americans they like just a whole bunch of people that like offer to take you out to the middle of this jungle and just like let you shoot ridiculous guns. Like somebody told me that they blew up a cow with a rocket watcher. Oh my god. Those are one thing when we were in Thailand they told us not to bring back any weapons because you can get some crazy stuff there. But besides Thailand Dubai was just like super nice. It was really expensive. You got to be rich. But I like they have this the mall of the buys like I think it's like one of the biggest malls in the world. They have a store where you can just buy gold. Oh I've heard of that. Yeah. You can also snowboard indoors. Oh yeah. That's cool. Yeah it was cool. The buy was cool. But I think the first time we pulled in was in the middle of a sandstone that's up. I wasn't ready for like because it goes in it. I know why they cover the place. That's just size. Yeah. Did you start comedy while you were in the Navy or did you do it after? I did it before. Okay. I've like a started coming when I was 15 and I performed I was 21. Quit. Dropped out of college and then I joined the Navy. I didn't perform the whole time I was in the Navy. I didn't start until I think like a year after I got out. Okay. I'm glad you found your buy back. Yeah. I remember why I quit too. I bombed like really bad. So like when I was 15 my brother was doing my older brother was doing comedy already. He was in college and he basically forced me to get on stage. I was like I think the problem like back then was like I would get good at things like really fast but because I got good really fast I wouldn't take the time to get better and I think I get that with comedy and then like a guy like when I first started because I looked so young the audience would give me like the benefit of the doubt and then as I got older I started to look like a grown man. Everybody was like that's not funny. The last time I got on stage I bombed like super hard. Nobody laughed. It was like dead silent. I remember getting off stage. I was in college. I think I was like a sophomore junior. I remember thinking I was like why am I even doing it. So I was like everything in my life is going good except this. I was like I don't need to do this. And I quit. And their life beat me down and now I'm back. What's my tip in? Well I never stopped writing anymore when I quit. I still like I still get joke ideas all the time. Yeah I think it would be hard to stop once you start thinking that way. Like your brain's broken because you're always thinking about something like I've cracked jokes where I like I think one time I was in a maybe I could I cannot remember what I said but I didn't remember what the joke was about. I went to a party where I didn't really know anybody. A friend of a friend invited me. It was a girl. It was the girl that I was talking to was her friend. She invited me. And then nobody I knew was at that party yet. I showed up before everybody. And I was just talking to like some other people who were like on my ship but I didn't really hang out with. And I think I cracked a rape joke. I cannot remember what I said but I do remember the looks on everybody's faces because they thought that I was so serious. And then I remember like I'm just gonna go sit in the corner to people I know show up and then everybody I know showed up and I like I remember telling them the joke and it was like oh that's hilarious I was like none of them thought of what I love when that happens. Do you ever get I think they call them chuckle fox? No I try to avoid it. I don't want the opportunity. I don't want because I feel like some of them are crazy. I'm not famous enough to feel like somebody to like come out to me like that. So I think like right now the only people that are coming are crazy girls. And I don't want a crazy girl like just showing up to my show to like messed up. Because I've heard about people. Girls doing that. I'm good. I'm worried. But I have heard I know a few people who do. Yeah I think there's like a couple of them that updated like multiple comics or when you do day people does the comedy affect that like do the girls like it or they like I haven't talked about me. I haven't dated since I started mostly just because like I know that like I don't think I could be in a relationship right now because I'm obsessed with comedy. I like I spend almost every night at a comedy club. I'm like drinking a smug and it's not a whole lot of time for relationships. Okay. There's like most of people I know that like unless I dated comic or like oh waitress the words at the comic club which I don't want to do. Fair enough. Because like most people I know they like work doing a day and then like sleep at night or like I work most weekends and then there are people often weekend. So like times on that show. Yeah it's hard to make time for it. And I like in my head when I restarted comedy I wanted to I don't want to be in a relationship and so I was like I'm on coast on comedy. Or like it's not super hard for me to keep writing. It's not I'm getting shows I'm getting paid. Well like I'm not putting in like a super amount of effort to like make something happen to come where like I can just like coast a little bit and then like put in effort like every once in a while so I can focus on it. Because I think it's kind of selfish to just like be obsessed with something and then like being a relationship because I would not be able to. Yeah. Same. Yeah. Do you like do you like want to get married one day or anything like that or are you like if it happens it happens? I want to. I know my mom does. My mom wants me to get married. She wants me to have kids because I'm pretty sure my brother does not want any of that. So she wants granted. Okay. I do want to get married. I don't know when it's going to be like my 40s probably. Okay. Do you have a type? No. I mean I think my type is like me and girls. Not me and me. I don't want a girl to be me and me but I like girls who like don't need me to defend. Well like I got to calm them down. So I'm like, hey, maybe you should. But like they like if like somebody does something messed up to them, then they're not going to sit there and like take it and like stand up themselves. I like girls like that. Okay. It's mostly because like if I have like most of the time if I have to defend somebody, I like I skip like steps. Well like you like you warm up to like like if somebody's coming at me at three, I'm probably going to come back at like seven. I was like I skip the whole much steps and I just escalated so much. So it's like so much easier. Like a girl could just take care of it by herself. I try to make calm as much as possible. Okay. I have anger management issues. Oh, okay. You don't want the girl who's like he asked for mustard. No, I mean, no, most of the time, like not that. That's too much. I mean just like if like if somebody's just like root to them, like they're not going to run over to me, like he said that. I was like, I don't really that that annoys the shit out of me. I was like if somebody was like root to like the girl, she's just like, you know, let's fuck you. And then like, or like say something back to him. I like that. Okay. Well, just like I don't know like half new girls that can defend themselves. Okay. Not physically, maybe physically, but like obviously like, video. Yeah. Got it. As far as they're not me. That's not so not me. Do you? Yeah. Okay. Do you have a celebrity crush? I don't know. Not in the while. Mostly because I think that I'm going to start means what I have met a few. So I'm like, I don't want to really like think about celebrities like that. Is that going to be super weird if I have that in my head if I actually like meet that person? I'm like, I don't know. The metafuse celebrity. I was like, I know that. I don't know. I don't know. I don't have anything. I guess like the only one that like, there's one that I know that that's absolutely no chance and it's everybody's. How do they? Oh, okay. She's also like 50. I thought probably for a while too, where I just like couldn't think of anybody my age. And so I literally like googled celebrities. Born in 1995. I mean, this is like one celebrity my age who I like, I think it's pretty, but like it's also weird to say I have a crush on her because she's like, my, I'm 12 crushes. But it was a jelly crab. Okay. I think like the first time I saw her in the movie, I was like, oh, she's pretty. It was a, it was actually a good movie too. It's a, it's kind of a funny story. It's a super messed up movie by this one. Which one is it? What's about this kid who like, it's suicidal and he goes into the hospital and tells him that he's thinking about killing himself. So they put him in the hospital, mental institution for three days. And he like meets the girls and they're like, Zoys, one of the girls. And then like, he like hangs out with Zach out of the knackets the whole weekend and figures out that he's not suicidal because Zach is way more fucked up than he is. It's a really good movie. It has a good message. I like that movie. I think like anybody who's saddened, appreciate watching. Okay. Have you seen Pete Davidson's show? I think it's called Bob Kus. No, I think I might have heard about it. I think it's on peacock, but I'm not sure. It was like a similar vibe to that. I think like, yeah, that's Hope Pete Davidson's whole vibe. He's just like super depressed. I saw an interview with him and he was just like, yeah, I was always scared that I was going to get fired from us. I feel like an old point where Lauren had to tell him, he's like, dude, your job isn't in danger. He's like, relax. That would be me. When I first started working in Madhouse, I always thought I was ready to fire. I thought that ACC too. I thought that they were going to fire them if I couldn't figure it. I couldn't think a lot, but like whenever I start working somewhere, I always think that like, they're going to find a reason to fire them. I'm first saying them first off. Sounds like anxiety. Yeah. I'm not sure if they're doing anxiety. That's part of my disability, the United States. I guess that too with Target, every time I think that they're going to fire me, they don't. I know that they won't fire me now. Well, if unless I do something like extremely messed up, that's the only way I can get fired. Well, the only way I can get fired from Madhouse is if I beat somebody up right outside of the club or I do drugs that I do not do inside of the club. Madhouse is such a crazy place. But that's pretty much the only two ways you can get fired from that place. Somebody pulled that dick out on stage. She got banned for six months. It still got to come back. I don't want to say who it is because he's still a form. But he definitely pulled this dick out on stage. I remember one time, Jay Patrick posted, like, "Oh, I got punched in the face at Madhouse again." I feel like it's not as bad as it used to be. No, there's no open mic. The comments are just getting black out of truck and hanging out with everybody. That was the major problem. Comments, especially the ones that had a little bit of money to drink, they would get black out of truck and then just get loud in the knocks because after they got off stage. It was fun for me to watch. I still remember one night. I think it was my first night working door. Mike was behind the bar and he got black out of truck when I didn't work in the bar. I remember like I asked him, I was like, "Hey, you okay?" He's like, "Oh, I'm gonna have some in the next night." He's like, "Yeah, I don't remember leaving." Oh my god. I want him back. Sam. I just want to hang out late. But all my friends? Yeah. It was nice to have. I don't know if it's gonna come back. Yeah. Like, everything changes. Like, there's still more. I think when it went away, it weeded out a lot of people though. Yeah. Or the people who went around and found other mics, other people who are gonna stay around. And there was a lot of people who dropped off. I see like everyone's like, "What? There's no mic in one." I was like, "That's plenty of mics. You just don't want to travel." Yeah. Even like in the downtown vicinity, there's like a lot. Yeah. It's just like people not putting in the effort. I want like someone in like, hold their hand and take them to the mic. The madhouse was super convenient. That convenience like helped so many people. Yeah. It really helped with retail being so like, unpredictable of a scheduling. Because then like, anytime I had the next day off, I could go to madhouse. Yeah. Like, that's like, I don't, I didn't need the job when I got, I started working in madhouse. The only reason I got the job was to force myself to go to every night and perform. I tried to work there once, but I didn't get hired. I think I got hired because a whole bunch of people would just quit. Originally, they hired me to work at his PB place, the food court. I worked there for like a week. I was just like, "I would work at the work of madhouse." I don't want to say why. When I first, because I wasn't cooking over there. And they said, "If you cook, you can work in madhouse, but this isn't when the kitchen was still open." But like, I got hired because nobody, I think a whole bunch of people were quit. Like three or four people had just quit. So like, when I sat down for my interview with Robert, the first thing he said was, "You're hired. What days can you work?" "Wow." Yeah. Because they had signs up in madhouse, like doing open nights for like a couple of weeks. I don't think anybody was like saying it. But I do think that their job hurtfully for a while. Like, working in the kitchen. I feel like people forgot that I did comedy. Or I didn't think I was saying this serious. There's nobody like was really going in the brick room and watching my sets. But like, I was performing every night for like a year. And nobody was booking me. Nobody really started to nosing me until like, I came out of the kitchen to start a working door. Okay. I remember when I first started like working back in the kitchen because Gabe Ramirez was working back there at first. And he told me he was like, "You need to get out of here as fast as possible." He's like, "People are going to forget about you." That's so interesting. Because even though you're performing, like, just because you're in the kitchen. Well, it was because there was other people that worked there that would perform every once in a while. Like, Joe, who was really a comedian. Like, he was just like bored and he was like, "I'll get on stage. Do you remember Joe?" Joe Grilla. No, the bald agent did it. They're working in the back of madhouse. I probably know him if I saw him. Yeah, he was the older guy. I think he got fired. I don't know. I shouldn't say why he got fired. But yeah, he got fired. Men are like a lot more difficult for me to remember. He would like, he'd never really came out. He worked, so this is when the kitchen was open. Whenever we had like those cakes and stuff and ice cream, he would like make that and then like, he would bring the food out so the people that came to the front door. Well, it was a simple job. But he would perform and I'm like, everybody knew that he wasn't a comic. Well, because it's also like to do comedy, I feel like a lot of people don't get this. You have to hang out with people. Yeah. Like, the hang is like maybe like 50% of it. You had no stage, it's cool, but not every comic is going to watch your set. They know that you got on stage. You have to hang out with comics. Talk to them, become friends and then people will put you on shows. Like I tell so many people that I was just like, you have to hang out. No, like that's why you're not getting booked anyway. Yeah. People will forget about you if they don't see your face. That's so true. Your network is your network. Well, I feel like you're not ever going to get fired because I think you're the most responsible comic. That's why everybody keeps telling me the same. And I've been told that multiple times and every time I just want to like just like break down and tell everybody like all of the shit that I'm fucking up in my life. But like I also don't want to like put all that in out there. Some of it might be illegal. But I'm super responsible. I'm responsible for a committee. But like I also have like trends that are like my roommate. He's a E6 in the name. He's super responsible. He owns his house that we live in. He also has like a sh*t on the vehicles. He just bought a trailer. He's about to go to the desert this weekend and ride dirt bikes. He's responsible and he has a lot of money to show for it. I could be more responsible. Do you think working at the clubs like helps you get booked more or do you think it like prevents you from getting booked more because you have to work? It's a really weird balance. I was talking to Jacob. He thinks it's hard to him. Because it's mostly because he gets booked more on weekends. I think the more weekends you get, the more weekends I get. It's the more it's going to hurt me. But like I'm not really getting that many weekends where like it's that much of a problem yet. We get everyone to love but like I can work around it. But eventually it's going to be a problem. But I'm not there yet. But the clubs that I work at, they let me take off pretty much anytime they don't want. But unless I get booked on a show last minute, that's when it's a problem. Which does happen a lot. That happens more than I actually get booked. It's like, hey man, you need to do a spot. I used to know this guy in LA who would do shows all the time. And he would never like, he would always book me like, day of or like the day before. So I was like, hey, can you come to Los Angeles right now? I haven't gotten that part. I've been like most of the time with like a few days or like a week out. I've been like, somebody like dropped out of the show and was like, hey man, can you do this spot? I was like, yeah. That's reasonable. Yeah, it's not bad. But like most of the time my schedule is made like two weeks out. So I got to find people like last minute to cover. Which is not that bad. Most people want to take my shifts anyway. What was it like growing up in St. Louis? I think that's the reason why I haven't exactly. Oh my god, I'm super paranoid. Oh, like I think, who's Andrew Parker Davis? He came up to me one day when I was just like hanging out at the comedy club and he's like, you watching everybody, aren't you? I was just like, yeah, it's like you're super paranoid. Oh, it's because of growing up in St. Louis. It was like, I won't watch everybody. I make it, it's mostly just to watch people's body energy. So I can see when the situation is going to go bad. So I can lie. I'm like, everybody thinks I want to protect them. The things go bad. No, I'm going to be the first one out the door. But I'm like super paranoid. I don't look together or bad thing. I noticed things way before other people. That's good. And everybody always tells me that they feel safe around me. Is it because of the misconception that they think you're going to protect them? That and they know that I'm watching. Well, like I feel like if people see me lead when the situation is starting to go bad and they'll probably believe too. It's like I'm really big black that he's safe. Yeah. One night I was hanging outside of Madhouse smoking weed. And this lady with her little daughter, they even ice her. They came up and walked up and they just started standing next to me. And I felt weird because I was smoking a joint. And I was like trying to hide it. And then like it was a crazy homeless lady following them, just like saying, wow, shit. And then like she finally like walked away and then they're like, thank you. And I was just like, oh, I felt bad. I'm smoking weed. She's like, weed's okay. It's like that crazy. Yeah. Well, even strangers, like I did not notice. She just carried about some fish. She was like, you you felt safe. You do have that thought. I think it's because people have the same anger. Oh, I feel my friends who are in the Navy, they've saved me like really angry. And I was like, yeah, he's not that safe. I feel like you're not going to go crazy without a cause. Yeah, that has to be a reason. It doesn't just happen. Most of them like sometimes, well, the reason could be something stupid. If I'm like, I've just been letting stuff fill. Sometimes I've learned to control it. I have that's why I go do your jets. But I get a little anger. Yeah. Do you meditate or does it make you more anxious? No, but I feel like Jiu Jitsu is meditative. It's mostly because I can't think about anything else while I'm doing it. So I said the same with comedy. I have to be focused on it. It's going to go really bad. Sometimes I feel like I like black out while I do comedy. Like sometimes I'm there the whole time and sometimes I'm like, I've done that before. The first time that I performed, like I was just something like this. I had an out of body experience. Like I remember how everything, I did really good by the way. But it wasn't because it was set up for me. Everybody knew it was my first time. They knew I was 15. And I think my brother performed already earlier that night. So he did good. So like the audience was, he helped me write the joke too. He even knew a stand-up for like a year. And he helped me write my first joke. It was a story about him beating the shit out of me for no reason. And I remember him like asking. It was like, did this really happen? And I was just like, yeah, he beat me up because he asked me to go get him a couple water. While he was playing video games and I brought him back the water. And after I handed it to him, he kept looking at the water. He was like, did you spit in this? And I was like, why would I spit in your water? And then he just beat the shit out of me for no reason. And I was joking. I think I believed your own paranoid delusion. I did this joke. I think I was supposed to do five minutes. It was at the funny bone in St. Louis. I think I did two and a half. And then like people clap. I think a few people stood up. It was weird. But like I remember like as I started telling the joke, like once I got the first laugh, everything just like felt so much lighter. And then I was just like, I floated up. I was like, oh, this is weird. It's the first laugh. Once you get that first laugh, everything feels better. Yeah. I feel like sometimes I just go like on autopilot. I try not to do that because if I mess up, I think I did that at ACC last night because I wasn't. Well, like I didn't have a bad set. Well, like I've learned how to recover. But like I didn't have a bad set. But I messed up one of my jokes because I was just on all the path. I was like, I could do that, Jill, even though I haven't like gone over it in my head in like months. And then like I said the wrong thing first. Like I was like I was supposed to say like things. And I said it back. It's like I messed it up. And I just started saying all this stuff. I wasn't even telling Jill. I like I told the story about because that joke is real. It's about my friend who's he. He found out that 16-year-old daughter was having sex. But this was like a couple years ago. His 16 year old is like 18 now. So like the middle girl he walked in. I like I told the story about him walking in on her, getting like banged off from behind. Just like crazy. He's like, he wanted to hurt that little boy. I was just like, it's like 15. You can't beat up a 15 year old man. Do you ever get like afraid to go on stage or is it just like whatever? Not afraid. I like nerves a little bit. It depends on sometimes some shows I still get nervous. Like the bigger the show, I might get a little bit nervous. But it all goes away as soon as I step on stage. Like it doesn't stay with me. It's just more just like anticipation. Like I can't wait. I need to get on stage. I like that's why I hate being in the room before I go on stage. I also don't like listening to people say that's before I go on stage. I would rather just like Jill listening to music. I like go outside and spoke. Yeah. I'll get nervous if I feel like I don't know what I'm going to do. Like if I'm like, oh, I didn't like decide which jokes I'm telling. I'm like, okay, like it's going to be 15 minutes. I got to tell this one and that one. Or if I feel like it's a big deal. But nowadays I don't get nervous anymore even in those situations. I think I threw up like a year ago and I'll remember like saying, but this is weird. Why? Well, like I think I got like really nervous. I remember like, I can't remember why I was there. It was a bigger show. I can't remember where it was. But I threw up like an hour before the show. I remember thinking like, this doesn't happen. This is not supposed to happen. Yeah, it was like the last time that I got like really nervous. Now I don't, I don't want to say I don't care. But like I know that like one performance isn't going to make a break. I even have like bomb in front of like all the people that I shouldn't bomb in front of. I'll be fine. Yeah. Yeah. Now I'm like, I know it's going to be okay. And it's also like the stakes are so low. Like what is going to happen to you if something goes bad on stage? And it's like it's a Will Smith situation and somebody decides to attack you. You can feel that. But like you can feel like a situation like that. Feel before it gets there. Yeah. Like it's going to go super bad. Like most times you're just going to go regular bad. Or it's going to go good. I've had like bad set. I've had like a few bad sets. I think like the last the last time that I was like disappointed in myself. It was like I got pissed off on stage. I got pissed off. I like to do this in the audience because they wouldn't shut up. And like instead of like thinking of something fine to say, I just got mad. I was just like, yo, what's wrong with you? Why'd you come here? I just like I just talk shit to him. I know nothing about it was funny. I just make them feel bad for what they were doing. And then I try to go back to my jokes and then nobody was laughing. But they like pissed me off. It was the way that he was talking. I don't mind like people talking a little bit. He's sitting in the front row. He was like, it was a big group of dudes. And he was leaning over the guy next to him to talk to that guy. I was just like, you're leaning over somebody to talk to somebody. And they're just like, if you have to do that then no, don't talk. Yeah, or like go sit in the back. Yeah. Or like go outside. There was so many people like they come to shows and I think that, uh, you know, I, that he can't see me. Right there. I think I'm right here. This is a TV. Definitely. It's so fun. Yeah, my favorite thing to do is to be like, oh, I'm sorry. Am I interrupting your conversation? Well, like now I've like, I just realized it's so much easier to just like ask them what they're talking about and then make what they're talking about. Same stupid. I really stupid. That's like the easiest way to like get the crowd back on your side and then make them seem like I so. Like will you say that? It's like you want to meet these girls after the show? But most of the time, most of the time people don't talk when I'm on stage. I like, uh, I get on stage most of the time and I like, I try to bring the energy to my level, which that's why like a lot of times I get on stage. I'm just like super quiet at first. They're looking around at people. Because if you look at people and not saying anything, it makes them want to like look at you. It's like, you know what I was talking about. I don't know. It works for me. If I just get on stage and just like look at the crowd, they'll like shut up the stock plantation. Don't just stare and create it. That's weird. Just like look around. Let's get the vibe. Yeah, but I think you also have that vibe where people just like think they're supposed to listen to you. I think if I did that, then they'd be like, what is she doing? It's the domineering, it's because I'm tall. I think. People want to listen to tall people. They think that we know they ask. We don't. They think the answers are one foot above them. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm out here throwing shit against the wall open to some sticks. There you go. It's getting good. I feel like I'm making me like some of it. Hell yeah. What do you feel like as your greatest comedy accomplishment? I don't know if I have anything that I'm really proud of right now. Because I expect to do so much more. I don't think that just stuff that I've done is that great. I've been paid for shows. I guess that's the most I've been paid. It was like $100 for a show. Or $150. It does feel good when you get to be paid. Hard left turn back to romance. Do you know the five-legged languages? I know a couple of them. I don't remember them all. Like touch, gift giving, quality time, words of affirmation, and active service. Which ones are your favorite? I'm pretty sure I'm active service. Yeah. I've been pretty, I would rather do stuff with people. Anything. Because I feel like this shows that you like. It's better than giving it yet. Because I feel like a lot of gifts are just no real top. And so, well, if you do something for someone, especially if they didn't have it and they really needed it, yeah. I like that. Hell yeah. Let's say you're on a date with somebody, or you've been dating somebody for a while. What are some green flags this person might have? Some things that would make you think like, yeah, this is a good person for me. Green flags. Can set in awkward silences. I'm an awkward person. I'm like, I'm, well, like if you have to be with me for a long period of time, there's going to be like long awkward moments. And like, I don't like when people are just like, hey, what you thinking about? I was like, nothing. I was literally talking about nothing. Now you're making it weird because you've made me think about something. Well, I could just like daydream. And then just, I like, I like to be together and alone at the same time. I sound super fucked up. Oh, I got, oh, like, I need a girl who can like sit and be her own little world. Or I'm in my own little world. We like right next to each other and then we like come together whenever we need to. I also don't want anybody obsessed with it. Okay. I had that happen before. That's weird. I don't like that at all. Well, I could grow like pretty much like want to meet and be her best friend. I was like, and we'll find a best friend. That's not me. You need to find, you need to find a friend outside of me because if shit goes bad, then your world is going to probably. All right. Where can we find you on social media? Corey Ryan comedy, well, Corey Ryan underscore comedy at Instagram. I think that's, that's pretty much all I got right now. I have a TikTok, but I'm never on it. I haven't posted on it in like a couple of months. I'm going to start a podcast, my first thought is going to be the name of it. Look out for it. I'm actually going to edit the episode when we get off of it. All right. Well. If you ever need help with that, let me know. Podcasting is my passion. Thank you so much for being on my show today. All right. I'm going to do the outro and then I'll stop recording. All right. That's Crush the Podcast. Thanks for listening. Hey. Love you, miss you. Love you so. Bye.