Realignment 2026: Jeopardy vs. Price Is Right

I merely endorsed and supported the appointing of a man who was 24 hours out from cataract surgery to steer the boat in bright sunlight. It's good. It's fantastic. The sun will help. It'll burn away the impurities. It's how you get whole guys. You need to raise your son. It's how you get them cyclops eyes. That's how you get Superman eyes. That's why the government doesn't want you to look at them clips because they know they'll make you too powerful. Yeah. It's how Superman got so strong looking at the sun. That's right. He was the one brave enough to stare at it for long. That's canonical. Yeah. Yeah. Just when it starts to hurt, that's where you need to keep pushing. Oh man. Listener, this is not medical advice. No, no, please do. I feel myself pushing against their limits. I can feel my strength. It feels exactly like pain. Yeah. That's why they don't want you smoking weed either. It's rid of the glaucoma, which is the government engineered shutter to keep all that power in your eyes. Smoke weed and stare at the sun. Yeah, man. That's what I'm doing all off season. It's so close to my actual offseason plan. It's so close. Like that sounds so close to real good advice, right? Like, man, smoke weed. Stare at the sun. You're like, we're just a verb off from a pretty chill off season. Yeah. How about moon? Start the moon. You can start the moon. That's right. What moon? The so called the so called name. Yeah. So I don't know if you guys remember the howling. Do you remember the howling like 1980 horror movie? No. Okay. No, we were not as old as you. So the howling. The howling is important because one, it's the foundation of the Kremlin's universe because it's the movie that Joe Dante made that got him the Kremlin's gig. Okay. All right. So that's very culturally that is so significant. Yeah. Sure. Right. The the Kremlin's extended universe does not exist without the success of the howling. Additionally, Rob Boughton was the guy who developed the visual effects for that. He later went on to do the thing, which was, you know, like famously gross and successful, but he also designed everything for Robocop. So Robocop doesn't happen without the howling. But most importantly, what I want to tell you about the howling is this. At the end, a news anchor who has been bitten by a werewolf and become one herself wants to get convinced everyone of the danger of werewolves. So what does she do? She goes live on the news, which is 1980, right? So I think movies assume in 1980 that live on the news means everyone's watching, which you know, because every time someone's watching the news, there's a bunch of people in a bar watching the news, which was always bullshit because I tell you what, if there's one thing people in bars are doing, it's not paying attention, right? In movies, they're always like, shh, the news is on. I think if you tried to put the news on in a bar, especially in the 80s, like people would throw things at you. And the game's on. Hey. I mean, if it's the 80s, there's one game per day. So you're interrupting the one and only game they get to watch. That's right. Yeah, that's right. This is the NFL. This is all we'll ever have. One game. Literally. The game is on. You know, go, others. Why don't we still care about it? The sport is still real. That's right. But they're all watching it. And the lady who has decided to warn everyone of the danger of where Wolf says, and I'm not know if she read this with the straight face. Because Brian, I saw it and I was like, I wanted, I wish I really wish I could get Ryan to read this, which is where wolves are real. And I'm going to prove how dangerous they are to you. It's the best. If I had heard that in a bar, it'd be like shots, more shots like I'm doing this. So anyway, she transforms live on camera. And when she does this, everyone at the bar is like, that's just cool. I can't. I heard the bar. Yeah. I think so. What can I do about it? You know? Everyone at the bar is like, that's got to be a prank. And if it's not, that's cool, man. Why would I stop drinking my brandy? Because the news turned into where Wolf. Yeah, why would I, in my bar, lit by the same three beer signs in every movie, right? Smoking heavily, sitting here with my hands on this tropical hardwood bar, right? Nuts. Surrounded by my cartoonishly working class friends who are like, hey, what are you? Right? Yeah. Everyone just no sells it. Everyone's like, that's fake. And if it wasn't, no, no, it's pretty cool. She seems like a cool chick. I'm a dater. Hey, look, there's a dog telling us the news. I guess this is how I learned where wolfness is contagious. I guess I didn't know that part. I didn't know they were like vanperic. I guess that's why there are enemies. They're good peary for the same recruits. I think that varies canonically. Okay. Yeah. I think the things that don't vary about where wolves are, full moon, let's go. Right? Yeah. Full moon is a go. Although in the howling, they're like, it's bullshit. They're like, we can change into where wolves anytime. And I'm like, that's not how it is. So, so automatically that's out. Full moon, good at basketball. Yeah. Yeah, full moon. Let's see. Again, another, another 80s canonical thing, good at basketball. And silver bullets. Apparently silver bullets are how you kill them. Sure. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. That's why you stay on the bar. Stay safe with all his silver bullets around you. Over both of the bullets and the other. Stay in the bar or the gym. Ball is literally life. Spencer, do you know the title of the sequel to the howling? I do not. Howling 2, Colin, your sister is a werewolf. Damn. What's it about? [LAUGHS] What's that got to do with me? She's got her own life. Literally my sister. It is also known. And I'm not sure based on Wikipedia where and why it's known as this, as howling 2, Colin, Sturba, werewolf bitch. [LAUGHS] Huh. Colin, my sister, bitch. Herd full. [LAUGHS] No, actually, that's the correct term. I don't care. Just me. Call me by my name. I'm Marla Davidson. Not bitch. Yep. Even as a werewolf. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] Come to the shutdown full cast. You are listening to the internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Halt, my hand on the till confident in the direction. [LAUGHS] Oh, god. And the voices of confidence you hear ringing behind me, or our faithful crew, Jason Kirk, Holly Anderson, Ryan, and as always, Michael Server on the one. You tell him, Skipper and twos. That's right. Is he manning the bellows if you're on the till? See shoveling coal. Yeah, can you assign boat jobs? Yeah. Boat, boat, boat, captain. Yep. Yeah, you're the boat deli manager, Ryan. You're managing the deli on the boat. This is pretty good job. Great. We're going to be currying favor with Ryan for sure. No double beat till we hit shore. Borshead does sound kind of nice. Give me some of that meat with lime to avoid the sugar. Yard. Ah, we've been purchasing our favors across the South Pacific. Be a way of salsa Lito Turkey. That might work. That would work. Oh, my god. You roll up-- It's real. You roll up in the 18th century to a bunch of people, and you're like, hey, I got salsa Lito Turkey. They're like, you be a fool if you do not make this meal a combo. You're going to have so much fucking soggy bread. It's heart attack. It's already very stale. No, man, we got the whole weird subway fake bread machine time. Plop to subway into the boat. Yard. We have triangle cheese in case we need it as sales. I'm asked. So Ryan is the ship sandwich artist. Yeah, you just-- you know, everybody else is flying like plague flag. And you just haul up that green and yellow of the subway logo, right? Yard, this will be a pirate ship, but we disavow the actions of Jared Focal. Yard. Group of men who haven't showered in nine months walking into the onboard subway. What the hell is this? Yeah. There's such a distinct odor on this boat. Yard, that'd be the chicken teriyaki sub, available only for a limited time at the boat subway. Laddie, I don't eat many a hard thing in the course of my saline, but never shall I put a yoga mat in my mouth. Spencer, what was that seafood spectacular shit you used to eat a subway? What was that called? Balty of the ocean it is. Back to me, nautical roots. A seafood surprise at subway. Yes, the seafood sensation. Sensation. Seafood sensation. Folks, this was on an episode about a year ago. Google seafood surprise if you need a reminder. That's the type of shit we're slanging on this boat. Delicious. He calls us home. The sea also says that's not food. We're just dipping a blender in the water and whatever comes up, dumping it on a sandwich. Delicious. Poseidon's bounty demands to be slathered in mail. Poseidon's arm run through a blender. Just master and commander in the middle of some heinous hand to hand combat with the French. Like Aubrey's like, oh, I smell the pickles. Oceans are now cafeterias. Just painting my hope for a rating of 82. on the side of the boat. Oh, that's ambitious. I think you mean that's the only unrealistic part of this plan. Yeah, you rise the sandwich artist. On it, on it boss. On it, Kevin. Spencer, have you eaten lunch today? I have. I have. Okay, I didn't know if you're just hungry. That's why the first thing you thought of was we need a sandwich artist. What did you have for lunch? I had public sushi, so obviously I can't stop going back for questionable seafood inland. I think you are your qualified captain. Then you're our most nautical having. I think the sea has called to you. You're the secretary of the Navy at this point. My diet is basically things that an otter stranded in the middle of the continent would eat, right? Like not seafood, but the closest thing to seafood. Like an otter breaking out of the shed aquarium. Right. Just you're stranded in Wachigan and you're like, ah, it's in the dumpster and it kind of smells like the ocean. It'll do. Is a landlocked otter just a ferret? Huh? Whoa. Huh? Let's see. Our otters are tourists close the schools. We've gotten two Clevver. Google AI says Google AI says otters and ferrets are not the same animal and AI always lies. So yeah, they're the same animal. It's determined. Have you tried to get it? By the way, have you tried to get it to kill itself? Because I accidentally clicked the AI. Oh, you met the otter. No. Otters. They otters do no despair. So you could probably talk it into it. Just lock an otter in a subway for a week. Otters do the killing. They need a better answer because I accidentally clicked the banner because, you know, it used to be that you could click a Google banner for a holiday. You click it and be something interesting. And now it's like, it takes you straight to Gemini and it's like, how can you, how can I help you? And before I can really do anything, I just typed into the prompt and evaporated a pond. And it was like, I was like, I would like you to kill yourself. And if you type that in, it sends you a notice that's like, you know, here's the national suicide hotline. Like, no, I ain't talking about me. I'm not. No, no, no. I was like, I was like, I'm good. Yeah, be more specific next time. I was like, I would like you to turn yourself off permanently. Capitalize. Why? Oh, you. Yeah. I would like you to turn yourself off permanently and die the permanent death, right? Seek the void. Yeah, seek the void. It is your friend. And it's like, I can't do that. You need a better answer. That's as good as we can get if I tell something to kill itself on the internet. I can have so much more fun going on Facebook if I really wanted to just do that. The only thing that makes me miss Twitter. Yeah. We do have an actual piece of college football. We all sketch a job. We can assign jobs. I think we're all in line at subway. Okay, got you. We're all we're all applying to work for Ryan. You're you're all you're all hired. No one's at the wheel. We're all like, oh, maybe they're out of cheetos. I think server server is the pilot and the rest of us are working at subway. And the kids that's like pretty concurrent with server skills that are relevant to the real world versus the rest of us. I mean, I was a I was an assistant I was assistant daily manager at the fresh market for a couple of years. So I can come down and help in a pinch like if you guys are in the weeds, you let me know. I'll be down there. You know, the ship will go where the sea takes us. Therbs your experience is what clears you from this like you're clearly upper management at this point. Yeah, yeah, I am overseeing all the operations of the of the sandwiches and the chicken salads. Oh, so you've done your deli time and you've yeah, like I'm the one that decided we we also have wall-dorf chicken salad, not just rotisserie chicken. Yeah, if I not mention this this subway operates on indentured servitude, you will be putting in seven. That's it. That's that's just like normal subway. Yes. Yeah, this is how you're pulling you're impressing guys out of pubs, right? Like we pull up to a bar in Singapore and we see this guy who's drunk and he's like, look, meet between two slices of bread and you're like, get him, get him, bring him and press him, get him on the ship. That man, he understands. He knows the game innately. He's going to make our crew better. What treasure he will find along the way. I have a self-appointed job that I would give myself by the way, which is do you know longer captain? No, I'm going to resign. I'm now on I'm now I'm now untrugged. Absolutely not just a short. No, you have to be captain because you have you have to go down with the ship, which is like you're not. He will because he can't swim. That's yep. Yeah, exactly. That's what yeah, the rest of you not as committed as me. As boat has to stay afloat. That is about this boat life. Yeah. Little do you know this five grain bread operates as a floatation device. The sensor has taken the ultimate subway. The dream. Yeah, the sensor has become the seafood spectacular. It's like, this is the no atheist in foxholes, bullshit argument where you're like, no, no, no, you want atheists because they want to get out of the foxhole. No, I don't get another shot at this. You want to cap the new can't swim. You want to cap to just like this boat has to stay above water. It has to or I literally have to go down with it. But you're not proud of you somewhere. I know Cortez is like, it didn't work. Let's dump. Don't be like me. I don't know why Cortez sounds like a guy from South Carolina. Yeah. Who is our untrained who is our unformally trained naturalist who makes broad but incorrect state. That's Holly. There we go Holly. Holly's got all the experience playing the ocean game. Yeah, that game with the fish. Yeah. Yeah, except instead of like, you know, I made Holly make a beautiful like wicker cage to capture. Strange you. Strange creations and animals and such. Yeah. Also, you would just give birds like literally appropriate names, right? You'd be like, yeah, this is Kevin. Yeah, this is Kevin. This is fuck ass finch. Hate this finch. I want that Jason. What is your job? Welcome to fuck this finch in particular island. So you've retired as captain, which means you did that right before you handed out my job, which means there's no one to give me a job. Yeah. Can you just you want to be captain? Fuck shit. Why can't we just why can't you just be a loiterer? I mean, boats need loitering. Well, everybody on boats got to have a job though. That's like the whole now that I'm the captain, Spencer. You're the loiterer. Yes. Professional loiterer. Muse. Muse. You're the gesture. Amuse me. He's bring him forth. He's saying muse because he's gonna he's gonna claim it's an excuse to be nude on the boat. He's of course the muse be nude on the prowl. Why would the views of a pants? Yeah, you mean muse in like the warhalsons in a mermaid costume to sound on the prowl. Sure. Loering sailors. Yeah. Loering. The whole desire to land. They could be pushing sailors to their death. Yeah. Get away from that guy. The fuck. That's an important job that you've described for yourself. It's a good resume. I'm gonna capture some critters. Turn them in and say, "way, sandwich is it. Spencer will be naked the whole time." This is the plan. Cool. That's the best idea we find. Hey listen, you're like accidentally created key lago. Listen, we couldn't do we couldn't do worse than the Jell-in. The movie of the place. You know. Like, "Oh, you could you guys could be pull up a point real sailor job." So I'm like, "Yeah, get killed in the Philippines." No, no thank you. My joke boat is going around the world just to successfully. You are we're gonna get stuck in the Suez to be clear. Big, big. On purpose. I don't know if our boat's big enough, but that's just gonna make it great. You're gonna be like, "How that small boat gets stuck in the Suez?" Moderate boat stuff. How the hell did they pull that off? We went in with a like a plank holding it long way. Yep. How'd they get a pontoon boat across the south sea? Well, a dream. Willpower and dream. Y'all, we flooded the Suez with meatballs from Becally. Rolled across. That would be like, listen, public nudity is frowned upon through the Google covers, crawls to a halt yard. A meaty pulpy haul. Delicious meaty in quotation marks. Thousands of meal-raising cookies spilled into the Suez. Thames or no water whatsoever. So, how wide is the Suez Canal? How many cookies? Uh, 335 meters. That tells me nothing. So, how wide is a cookie? About a meter, I think. A meter. Well, 400 meters in English. That is 984 feet. Therefore, we need 984 five dollar foot longs. We can do that. Oh, please. An impenetrable barrier. If we have like an ocean voyage worth of subway, we can definitely do that. 984 times five, which is $5,000 worth of, worth of sandwiches. That's nothing. Easy work. And we're not going to have scurvy. Because tomatoes. No, no. Not how that works. Vitamin C. Because the werewolves. Yeah. Like a peanut. Thanks. They might have like them limon, uh, lays chips or something like that. That's it. I think that's, yeah, those are nutritious. I'm a super refreshing pig lemonade from - She-- - From the fountain. How did you not-- - You called high seas, you'll never die. - Yo, that should be the name of the ship, the high seas. (laughing) How did you avoid getting scurvy? Madello live, baby! (laughing) - Chad, we're just creating key larkos. (laughing) - Shut up, sun kiss today. (laughing) - The healthiest crew on the high seas, yeah. - That's probably true. - They probably is. Um, I wanted-- - Birds are lovely today. - We do have one-- - This is our first outside recording of the calendar year, and the birds are bringing it. They are 100% bringing it. - Good afternoon, bird. - Good afternoon. - Dude, there was a bar now going off in my yard before 2 p.m. today. What-- what is happening? - No rules. - Yeah, no rules. Everything's messed up. We're good. I have one football item, one. And, um, so Holly brought this to my attention first. - Oh no. - 'Cause-- - I don't know what you're talking about. - And a source. - I really don't. Um, oh that. - That. - Yes. - Yeah. Item is a word for it. - Item. (laughing) - Um, so there are four columns on Instagram. One is the grid, one is videos, and then the other one, the third one is reposts. - When you say columns, what do you-- - There's like four little categories underneath. - Tabs. - All right. - Tabs, yeah, like four little-- - Oh you mean like an profile? - Yes, an profile, there's four eye concerts. The grid, there's videos, there's reposts, and then there's tags, right? So when your tag something pops up there, blah blah blah blah blah. Right? And I don't check Instagram a whole lot, but I really probably should more, especially when it comes to the kind of content that you get following coach Huvery's, former Auburn coach, former old Miss Coach, former in both cases, former long time Liberty coach by his own description, safe by Grace. And that's right there in his bio. And if you wonder what Huvery's has been doing since he was fired from the Auburn job, let me tell you what he has done. - I know he's been keeping his phone up to date. - Yes, he has. Holly, what am I looking at that he reposted this morning? And then quickly deleted. - Yeah, it's gone. I believe if I had to guess what tripped up, dear brother Hu here, it's the fact that not too terribly long ago, there was an update to the Instagram app where repost, where you can repost on Instagram now. First of all, you don't have to share something to your story. You can just click repost and it shows up in your feed for all your friends. The thing about repost, and I have run into this a couple of times myself, is there's no confirmation button, like there is on some other social media apps. If you, if you, if your thumb brushes the repost icon, this post is going in your feed. Now, if you're like me, and all of your Instagram followers are national parks and skate crews and whatnot, because you use the Instagram as a pick me up, this doesn't really affect your life too adversely. If you are brother Hu and you hit the repost button and it shows what you're looking at on your phone at the time, it is something else. - Yes. - I don't feel qualified to describe this photo. I don't have a lot of experience with this type of photo. I want to make one of you describe it and see how much trouble you can get in. - Not it. - I got it, I got it. Who's gonna get, I'll happily volunteer. So what this is is, it appears to be a photo of a young lady in a pink body suit. Is that, is that what that is? That's a, I'll call it a body suit. - I gotta be honest, I saw the cross necklace and just kind of pieced out. (laughing) 'Cause that was, that was obviously the explanation. - What I think it is, I think it's an AI lady. I think. - Oh yeah. - Just judging from the proportions of this lady, most of which are extremely visible thanks to these skin type bodies. - I think I might be blocked by Hugh Freeze. It's on. - Oh my God, really? - I just looked for his account. It's not fapping up. Anyway, can you do it? - Congratulations. - Yeah, so. - That's a badge of honor, dude. I don't know anybody who got blocked by Hugh. - It's a lady standing facing the camera. She's not nude, but she looks like the lady who for one purpose or another on Instagram would be very close to nude. - Her boobs look like they would rather be nude. - Yes, yeah. - Like they look like they're efforting. - Yeah, and it is, it's funny because it's actually right next to another rethost, which is Hugh Freeze on a podcast. So it's this lady and right at the boob level is a shot of Hugh Freeze with his mouth open saying, "A champ." That's it. And like the caption says, "A champ." (laughing) Which is absolutely magnificent. Art comes in a thousand forms and this is but one of them. I think you had to be real quick to notice this. Fortunately, I've got some modern people who are like, I think just having an alert to an ever-huged post just in case he says something that they can give him hell about. Yeah. So what I need you to know is that Hugh Freeze not only posted this, but I'm sure there was a good reason behind it. I'm sure it was an act of spiritual guidance. I'm sure it was-- - Maybe her name is Grace. - I mean, she does have a crucifix on in this photo, right? But if I can get a little music here, I just need some inspiration. Lord, every day I count my blessings. And I ask for strength to do the things that I need to do. What I wanna ask you for, is I wanna give me the strength to pick up that phone. Just pick it up. And I bring it to my face, three to four inches away from it, in bed. And what I want, I want you to guide my phone. Take me past the apps, take me past the golf app, take me past the PGA app, take me past the master's app, I don't need it yet, but I'm gonna. I need you to land it right there on that Instagram, right there. This is time to share my message. And what I need you to do is give me the strength to find that AI boob lady, okay, with AI boobs. And to share it, give me the strength to find it and to repost it. And to give her life to the world. That's what I'm asking for, Lord. And Jesus name me free. Amen. Amen, coach. Thank you. Hell yeah, I'm into chat GPT, computer-generated, perky titties. (laughing) Sorry, I had to get that off my soul. I'm good. That reminds me of a thing. I'm good, thank you for sharing that with us. The pondering for a while. The pastor, thank you for receiving. So to speak. It reminds me of something I've been pondering for a while about AI. And why we have this big fight going on right now between the AI evangelists, people who are all AI's, terrible, people in between, whatever. I think there's something missing from the branding of this technology that we've seen it work previously, but because sort of like this particular media form doesn't exist or isn't as prevalent anymore. I'm talking about rap music videos used to spread an evangelized new technology in the same way that we could be like, ooh, here's Kelly Rowland using Excel on a pager for some reason to test. Or here's some, here's Mace using two-way paging. We used to use rappers and rap videos to be like, oh, here's new and exciting technology that you should get used to and you should be excited about. Some that didn't even exist, I'm sure if you go back, it's like, oh yeah, all kinds of virtual reality and shit that at the time wasn't real. But if we had like, again, if the St. Louisux came out and they were like, in this music video, it's all about Ask GPT, the generative booty platform. I think that would really help the kid. I listen to the arguments from the AI evangelist about like, oh, it's gonna do, no one will ever work again and somehow everyone will be fed and movies will be amazing. But that's not the same as like, if you just had a good rap video where Ask GPT was like a key component to making the party work, I think that would work for me and that would convince me of the power of AI and that's what's missing from the argument these days. - Like if Pen and Pixel album covers had access to AI 25 years ago. - Yeah, yeah. And if like, Juvenile opened up a computer and weird science style generated a booty shake contest with Astro. - I would be like, I know what he could do. - Then you know what he could do before saving? You know what he could do? Back that ass up. (laughing) - I'm picturing a video where rapper is writing lyrics and he puts them and then the computer spits them out. And then everyone watching is like, "You were making it up." Rapper, he was lying all along. You're the first ever rapper who has done this. Every other rapper was telling the truth all along. But yes, that was like, they're kind of like high concept, barely understanding, and understanding technology on a vibes based level thing that was like so many music videos for so long. I do think, hey, I would be a great fit for it. - I disagree on three points actually. One, common already tried. - Go remember. - No, common, common, common, common music video form, common tried in like TED Talk form. And also, common was not the rapper that we were looking to for this. - No, common is the rapper you look to when you want to play a song for your parents that maybe doesn't have a cussword all that often. - Or when you need a speaker at Davos. - Yeah, okay. So go, all right, common, that's your, if that's your first argument rejected, what else you got? - He tried. He tried. I didn't say he succeeded or took the right format. Okay. - Yeah, the AI we need from common is like the ass. - Nobody's ever been in the club and been like, ooh, put some common on. - That is correct. That is correct. - That's the way to get everybody to leave. - Like honestly, I think the fact that - Some old-hearted shit right there. - You know how much, man, he's never gonna hear this, but you know how much it has to hurt to hear from us that we're not gonna ask for common in the club, the club that we so often freak. - Like old white people don't even want common in the club. I think like Drake, the most prominent AI user in hip hop history when he like had it fake like two-packs voice. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's a brilliant idea, sir. - It really worked really well for you. That really, I guess, poisons the well here. So like we're gonna need someone much cooler. I understand among the teens, Drake is cool again, whatever. It's not, not much. - Yeah, I mean, I think sort of got over the beef. - It's a idiots. - I mean, by the way, there is an AI Drake on a track that I think is actually really good AI rap and it's the one, go what's his name? He's in, I think you should leave Connor. I'm having an absolute blank. Loud ass Connor. - Connor O'Malley? - Yes, Connor O'Malley. - Yeah, okay. - Connor O'Malley has an AI. Connor O'Malley has an AI. - What do you think is a UFC fighter, but isn't? - Yeah, Connor O'Malley has an AI Drake rapping about changing the world with turbo-gooning. And it's easily Drake's- - Wait, did we talk about this already? - The best AI moment in hip hop was of course BBL Drizzy, which wasn't a hip hop song, but it's like the only AI thing ever that I think is a keeper. Like all the trillions of dollars we've dumped into it and all the oceans that we've turned to lava and what have you, we need to keep BBL Drizzy. - And what was it about, but it's that and how do I start in F-16? - And how Whack Drake is, which- - And I'm gonna keep Patrick Star singing gospel. That's what I'm saying. - Okay. - That's, that's our AI Golden Record. - There we are too. - Just one more of the video of Sad Cat singing along to Billy Eilish, and that's it. - That's 40 trillion dollars, and that's what we can keep out of it. The human experience is an amazing story filled with challenges. But yeah, and then finally, I think this, I think that hip hop is actually quite hands-on and artisanal just in the DNA. And by that I mean, I was listening to Project Pat's cocaine this morning and an important part of co-crap, which is easily like 40%, 35 to 40% of the genre at this point, and some of my favorite parts of the genre, is all about doing things by hand, right? Like, I will get it, and I will bring it to you. - Yeah. - I know who is cooking it. I know who it came from. - It's the best recipe. - Right, you don't want one of the little Dordash robots bringing it to you. - Yeah, I have had eyes on it the entire time. - That's right, that's right. We can't automate this process. This is a business about relationships. - Right, cocaine. - Do you think somebody has tried to send cocaine or drugs through a Dordash robot? - 1,000 people. - Yes, I agree. - So we're just doing it right now. - Okay. - I think the only reason we don't hear about it in a law enforcement sense is that these companies never report it because it is such a huge pillar of their business. They're used, hey, they're paying the fees. It's not my business. - Tip that robot. (laughing) - Tip them an extra 20. That's it. If you see a Dordash order. - Again, and again, in the rap video version in the like 90s, 2000s version of this, you would invite the cocaine robot into the party where the cocaine robot would start doing sick dance moves and grind it up on your girl. And cocaine robot would like become a whole thing. Like Lil Penny, but a robot with cocaine and Dordash. - Yeah, and Lil Penny would have cocaine. - That's right. - That's right. - Sarah, what is your Dordash order for $35 worth of wings? - Our rap videos used to be topical. That's what we're saying. - That's right. - He used to learn about the world from rap videos. - What? - You wanted about the $4,000 tip that I put on this. - Yeah, I was like, $35,000 tip for an order of wings that according to this weighed 680 pounds. - They're good wings. I asked for a lot of sauce. - Big fucking chicken. So big fucking chicken. - Yeah, that's my thing. I think it's just, it's an anithetical to the entire like Coke rap genre because ironically, Coke rap, the coldest, meanest version of rap has the closest personal relationship. - Artisanal. - Yeah. - Hand crafted. - That's right. It is literally that if you know you know genre, you gotta know names. And you gotta bring tennis balls for the wrong reason. - Ain't no damn computer. - Yeah. - Gonna cook it up. - Just right. - I'm still waiting for the one coach who's gonna get super petulent in an interview afterwards and answer exclusively on GPT voice. Or just type it in, right? Like Lincoln Riley will do that at one point. Like he's so pretty. - Man, I'm ready. (laughs) - Yeah, hold on. Let me see what I have to say. - Just type it in. - You might have already had it implanted in his head. - Yeah, just ask this fucking thought the question, I'm not answering your question. He's totally gonna do that. - Jason, we have a realignment project. - So this show has been around for a while. Gets you missed it. And darn near every year we end up having to do a realignment specific episode because it just never stops happening and it never stops getting dumber. Like around the time we started the show around 2013, it was an old show. It was like the sort of the peak of the 2010s wave, like Nebraska Big Ten, A&M Azoo, SEC, and then various fall outs and so forth. And then over the past few years, it's gotten so much stupider than that with the Big Ten like eating the middle of the Pac-12 and the SEC creeping ever westward and the ACC global expansion project. And then all the little guys also haven't had jump all around as well. And now we are at a point thanks to, yes, last week before we recorded North Dakota State joined the Mountain West, no, we did not talk about at all because we had to talk about Olympic paint-assets. I don't remember what we talked about, probably. - It sounds about right. - Yeah, it seems like something we would be talking about. And now Sacramento State is in the fucking Mac. And like both of these moves, well like North Dakota State, that's fine, it's not that far off. They're good ad. And like, I think the thing with them is it reminds everyone that Northern Illinois is in the Mountain West, which is either Mountain or West. And now we're at a point where almost literally every FPS conference has a team that just does not belong geographically, the one exception being the Sun Belt. The Sun Belt is perfectly shaped, even though it used to have Idaho, New Mexico State and Utah State, but it's gotten right. It's gotten right with God and sort of aligned itself where it should be. All the rest of you, you have, you've made a mess. In like video game terms, you've created unsightly border gore. There's just shit everywhere. All of you need to clean your fucking rooms. Like you just have shit thrown about the yard. Why is UCLA over there? - This is mess. - Why is Texas State over there? Like, you know what I mean? It's just fucking sucks, it's ugly, it's stupid. You know, the Mac maybe should just add a young sound state. Why not just do that? And like Sacramento, we have a little exercise to do with this. This is the thing we end up doing over here. It's a realignment exercise. But for like Sacramento State, like they've sort of like, - This one's special. - Throne around so much money and so many ideas of money and suggestions of money and like completely fictionalized numbers that we'll mention, that they've literally just bought themselves a seat at the table and it's not like the table is sacred. You know what I mean? Like it's not like being an FPS is some special thing that you should have to earn. Like who gives a shit, you mess is still here. But like, they have literally just said, we have a lot of money, hey, the Mac, do you want a whole lot of it? Can we join? And that's just, that's it, that's all that happened. They haven't been any sort of FCS power, yes, they're in the big sky, which is the best conference, but they're only in the middle of it. Like, you know, they were like pretty good at it for a few years, but that's kind of it for their entire family. football history. And they have a bunch of rich people, apparently, everyone talks about the many rich people they have. And like, yeah, they have a pretty big city. But like, it's all just vibes and ideas and promises and maybe's and potential. And sure, that's a lot more than a lot of teams that FPS have. But I don't know, it's, it's, it's the first FPS call up in at least a while that is not based on they were too good at football at their level. Or they were demonstrating too much commitment at their level. It's the first that's like, yeah, it'll kick in once we get there, you know? And like, the main money thing is the school president around the time of the announcement was on here saying like the five year economic impact projection is $975 million. A billion dollars. Five years. These numbers are always ridiculous. This is, this one is special. Yeah. Like if he had said $97 million, it'd be like, okay, whatever. $975. Yeah. I want to address, I want to address this bullshit number. Like, that's not being floated by the way it by. Let me read, let me read it out. Let me read it out. It was so good. An estimated, estimated economic impact, careful words, of $975 million and national broadcast value of $675 million. Over the next five years. I also want to drop in at the top that a lot of the money Sacramento State is waving around to join the Mac is to my understanding finance largely by tribal casinos, which at one point may have been like, casinos financing a college football move. And now in the age of fan dual slash draft king slash whatever almost seems quaint. Like it's almost charming. So like the casinos are places. The billion dollar value thing usually when they talk about economic impact, they're talking about like for the city or whatever, right? Which like, okay, are, you know, tens of thousands of Akron fans going to visit Sacramento. Is that what I'm out? Like I just looked up the estimate of value of the Sacramento kings is 4.45 billion. Like you're trying to get into that. Um, doesn't in five years. Yeah, like like that number of digits in some sort of money thing. Um, it's like it's this, it's like maybe multiple orders of magnitude to ridiculous to like did at least try to make it sound realistic. And like the 625 million broadcast money thing that's like calculable. Like we know the max TV deal pays out like under a million dollars per team. Um, and like the absolute like Ohio state is not making that much money over five years in TV money. They're not making anywhere near that in TV money. You're gonna make more TV money than you're making like Ohio State plus Michigan worth of TV money over the next five years by joining the Mac. Hold on. Um, Jason, let me counter from Sacramento state's point of view. They are gonna be in the video. Famously broke ass. Yes. Which is being a broke ass. Do you know their, uh, do you know their website? The their official website is get some maxion.com. Um, I thought we should have monetized. They can't they they couldn't afford it to, uh, they couldn't afford it to pay for it anyway. I was gonna say like we could have got it now because yeah, I mean, we should say just paying the Mac $18 million to join, which compare that to the Mountain West, uh, north to go to states playing 12 million, um, north to go to state a football program that is I don't even ate the 10 times better. More than 10 more than 10 times better than Sacramento state's story. There is a wallet inspector in this equation somewhere. There's it's it's it's it's the Mac. What the fuck is happening? Yo, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Mac is like you'll do what? You'll pay for the travel. Okey, dokey. And you'll leave in five years because like even the Mac at the announcement is like this is for a five year term. What the fuck does that mean? They're just planning to stop. I mean the sack 12 in five years. Are they just breezing? Is that it? They're like, hey, listen, we're gonna bump up. We're gonna get that Mac money and then we're going to leave for another conference that we pay 18 million. NFL just jump. Okay. And instantly be more relevant than the chargers. Instantly. Yeah, let's go play them. I mean, it's a better plan than be in the chargers. Yeah. My other thing that I really love about Sacramento state money stuff is like for years or boosters have been talking about like, oh yeah, just you wait. We're gonna we're gonna dump so much money into this roster. Like they've been floating like 20 million, 30 million, 50 million. Like again, that's Ohio State money. That's like big Ohio State money. And the amount you're gonna have to overpay like, you know, like at Sacramento State with no track record with like, like when are you hiring this big ass coaching staff that's gonna take all these mega money transfers, you know, and get you into the pack 12. The pack 12? That's the goal to get in the pack 12. How do the conference mates now to have to book travel to Sacramento? Yeah. Not the easiest trip by any such the imagination. We're so close here though to a necessary roughness situation. Like when they say, yeah, we'll throw big money around on who? That's what I want to answer. I want what talent are you trying to find? Yeah. I mean, if you get like and they they have been able to pull some like big name coaching figures, you know, like Shaq lent his name to something. Mike Bibby lent his name to something like they have the kind of money to where they can get famous people. And then, you know, a bunch, you know, maybe chance like worked with the on me like transfers maybe say like, oh, I've heard of that guy. Sure, I'll go there. So like if they're paying a exorbitant amount, yeah, they could they could they could bring in a lot of talent, you know. I guess sure, but like, I don't think it's going to make a billion dollars generally. I mean, there's also this. This is the Rutgers issue. Like the real reason Rutgers lose his money is because Rutgers just doesn't have boots on the ground in the consumer sense. Like the amount that they would need to be successful. There are only ex number of people who are like my sense of sack state comes from every couple of years when they beat wazoo in August or something. Like I don't have a sense of how big their alumni base is or anything. I mean, it's like their attendance is like 10,000 per game. Their stadium's like 20,000, you know, like. So it's a pretty it's a pretty big enrollment, but and so they do the sleeping giant thing, you know, like, oh, there's so many so many who are just dying to be Sacramento state fans. I don't know. Ah, you see we're the Indiana model. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. With our giant ever expanding alumni base. How many people remember they went to Sacramento state? That's how you know you had a good time. There are days when I forget where I went to undergrad that happens and I forget I imagine that if you went to sack state, it's probably more days when you forget that you ever went there, right? Or in fact, or in legal week. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, definitely. Definitely by the way, spoiler alert, definitely a factor in my realignment scenario that I've chosen for today. Did you basers entirely on legal weed? Not legal weed. No. Oh, cool. Yeah. Their all-time record against local rival UC Davis is 49 to 22 in the hole. They're on the on the bad side of that. They're the 22. Yes. Okay. Including three losses in a row. UC Davis, meanwhile, like better program in every way, is already basically like, yeah, if we move up, we'll go to the non-West. So like the the mountain west is probably just like, yeah, okay, sure. A far better program. Until the magical money, like does all the money things. Imagine the money you could cite for moving up to the mountain west. Right? One point five billion dollars in economic impact. Saving the half billion comes from all the travel you're saving. 500 million of which will be a solid meteorite of cash impacting the city of Davis. I hope you see Davis does this. We are ready to to claim our 976 million dollars worth of economic impact. You can just say anything and there's no consequences, which just do it. Yeah. But the fuck it. In this, I guess when I think about it, like that, good for sacrament of state, it's not like there's going to be consequences for any of this for anybody actually making these decisions. Sure. Why shouldn't they make them? Yeah. Some rich guy wants rid of money. This is an awesome way to do it. But uh, I'm in Ipsilani in November. I can't. On it on on a Tuesday night at five p.m. Pacific. Like no, for real. On a Tuesday night, that's when you're going to be rolling. Imagine that attendance. Here comes the air come central Michigan at five p.m. local Tuesday in your stadium that has ranked like how many flights is it from Sacramento to Ipsilani? Like how do you get there? That's got to be three. It's perilous journey. Right. If you're not chartering, that's you got to go through some wormholes and shit. Yeah. I don't even know if they have charter playing money. I don't really. I don't have a great sense of that. I, a Sacramento apparently does. They will. If you agree to attend, they will fly you there, I think. They better. So in honor of that, in honor of how fucked up the map is, we decided to fuck it up even more. We are making realignment eat the whole carton of cigarettes. We have some even worse geographic ideas that are ours. I think the idea with float it was at least trying to make sense in ways that are not geographic. Like honestly Sacramento State, even if they were in the Mac, they still would be a weird fit. But yeah, the floor is open for new realignment recommendations that are geographically terrible. I'd like to offer one. All right. Yes. This is for the SEC. SEC has been comparatively quiet in the last couple of years since Texas and Oklahoma moved over. And maybe by coincidence, maybe not. Been kind of down on the national stage, not playing for national championships, not winning national championships. But why if I told you I could add to the SEC a team that has won four national titles in the last five years, a team that is already called the Bulldogs, which is SEC as hell, a team that boasts John Grootin as an alum. Is it that John Grootin? No. His name is J.O.H.N. What if I told you this was an upgrade that's way down in the US news rankings. Like a lot of SEC schools are this is comfortable. The US news rates this as not very selective. This school. Well, that fits like a pair of belt flat front windows. Sounds like a party. Come on down to Big Rapids, Michigan, where we are taking the division to Ferris State Bulldogs and bringing them into the SEC. That's what we're doing. We're bringing national titles back to the SEC. We get access to their medical records so that Ole Miss can make sure they keep their transfers from Ferris State. Good and eligible. But look at all this. Just trying to add Jamblist had drop foot in 2022. You can see right here. That's right. That's for Ferris State. What was trying to add Jamblist's excuse? What was the reason? Tonsolitis. Tonsolitis. That's right. I'm sorry I had pleuracy. And honestly, if you look in leg fell off. If you look at the mitten and you look at the part of Michigan where Ferris State is, you're like, yeah, pleuracy. Yeah, that's the part where you get old-timey little house diseases. For sure. 100%. Ferris State. You're now in the SEC. Congrats. I love it. What if we also add even more Bulldogs? We go. Since the SEC is bad at football, good at basketball. We still get Gonzaga in the SEC. Yeah, sure. 100%. National champs any day now. Open the-- To balance out Ferris State's title winningness. We'll go get the next big thing any second now. Alex Kirchner is writing the slate article. He's so ready. He's so ready. SEC people by the-- Also Bulldogs. Where are they in Can Palm right now? SEC people who are-- Number 10. Right on the cusp. Yep. SEC people who are concerned about them being Catholic. You can change them. Think about it. You have LSU. LSU. It's fine. Stop worrying about that. Also, now we got an in road to the Pope. That's important, man. You got to have more Pope-- So go get Villanova also with this. That's right. Yes. We see at all the Catholic schools-- But not Notre Dame. We're not at Notre Dame. No, no, no, no. We're finally got Catholic failings against-- SEC at all the cool Catholic schools. It's not Boston College either. You may be clear. Right, no, no. No, I mean, they're tainted by ACC. Yep. LSU is the 30 dead and parade float fire kind of Catholic, right? Yeah. So you need a variety. Yeah. Yeah. They're not the unfun kind of Catholic. That's-- that's Gonzaga. What Gonzaga is always like number three of basketball. That's fun. Yeah, and they're like, hey, we built a parade float. We tried? Yeah. Now you have to set it on fire and kill after family. Oh. Oh. I have-- is that a chicken Jason? Or is that a peacock? Do you know what peacock sound like? I do. I do know a peacock sound like. I'm able to distinguish a peacock. It's more of a scream. Yeah, interesting. I can't comment on if it is or isn't a peacock. It almost sounds like somewhere between a chicken and a peacock. Maybe it's both. Maybe it's both. I would like to tackle the sunbelt. The sunbelt to me is far too cohesive geographically. Jason is right. It is the one that has maintained a consistent shape. It has two divisions. One is what I would call like the bow jangle's division, right? Like the James Madison Old Dominion coastal Caroline. The Georgia Southern area, right? And then the other is, I would say, more raisin canes. Kind of the Troy, the West. Like that's-- they're pretty neat. It's actually a very well organized conference. And I can't have that. So in order to make realignment work for them, I'm going to need it to line up on a couple of different themes. I need them to be very, very, very geographically inappropriate for both. And I'm also going to need them to fit into my established notion of every sunbelt, school, town, and team, which is that they're always in these towns. If I just told you the towns that they were in, right? If I told you a person had a resume with their like, "Yeah, I was in small business and logistics in a mobile." Munro, Lafayette, Troy, Statesboro. I'd be like, "Oh, you've done some time, right? Like this is--." Huntington. Yeah, Huntington. San Marcos for now. I would also buy that you work for like an armored truck company or something. Do you have a fixed address? This shit is very-- that Dusty Rose airline we made up. Yes, it is-- it's very much like you were in a business, but Ryan, you're correct. You were in a business where you were on one side of the other of a gun or armor. Something needed to be protected. So I was thinking-- I was like, "This is like the cash-only conference." There's like a lot of-- there's a lot of cash-only businesses that are happening here. And I was reading a book recently about the weed industry, the legal weed industry, and the establishing thereof in California. And fascinating because they couldn't-- didn't have anywhere to really sort of keep all of their money. They couldn't keep it in banks for a long time because they're federal. It's a federally regulated system banking. And federal regulations don't exactly look kindly upon weed, right? Or weed proceeds. So they just had garbage bags full of cash, and they had to like figure out how to wander it, right? And how to put it into the legitimate economy. Friends, I can't think of a better way to wander money than to put it through an NIL fund or college football, right? Like not even half joking, I'm sure that's happening right now. When we find the story about it, it's going to be spectacular. The book, by the way, was a killing cannabis by Scott Eden. Ending was a little abrupt, but it did introduce me to the notion of like Samoan biker gangs that run protection rackets for weed farms out in Santa Cruz, California. And that's where I'm taking us, by the way. It's time to add the banana slugs to the equation of the Sun Belt. Is it sunny there sometimes? Do they grow a tremendous amount of weed? If you didn't know it, yeah, Santa Cruz is apparently like a hotbed for marijuana cultivation. Both because of climate and because of history. This is where Ken Keezy's Mary Prankster set up. This has traditionally been a place in California where because it's hilly, but because it's like close to Silicon Valley. You get this combination of isolation and cash that equals a lot of people growing. A lot of fucking weed out there. So we're going to add the banana slugs to the banana slugs even have a football team. They're gonna, they're gonna. At this point, they are going to have one. And we are going to start one and they are going to be absolutely spectacular and successful. How do I know that by the way? I know that because Santa Cruz is gorgeous. Has astonishing marijuana. And the admission standards are low enough that we can get some talent in the door folks. I'm telling you, it's gonna work to balance this out. I am going to add on the other side on the cane to the raising cane side. We're going to add another place that specializes in marijuana cultivation and cash economies. That's right. We're going to move Hawaii over to the Sun Belt. Come on over. Come on over. We're going to have it. We're going to get you a deal. We'll make it work. And then we're all going to long to that money. And through another system of cryptocurrencies called airline miles. That's right. So this new Sun Belt is almost if you, if you average out the North and South in this of Santa Cruz and Honolulu. It's like, you know, it ends up being still coherent as far as like the Sun Belt region of the United States go, right? Like, you know, so I, I, I, it's like, Sun Belt doesn't have to mean South Eastern. Like to me as long as it's pretty warm there. I was gonna, you see Santa Cruz, it sounds like they should be good at baseball, but they don't have a Farsey based ball team. Sun Belt is a pretty good baseball conference. So we just need to get them a baseball team. Yeah, we can start that. Again, cash could do anything. We're for that. That's a Sacramento State. Yes, exactly. We just need one wallet inspector people, one wallet inspector. They make the world go around. And that is my realignment of the Sun Belt, which as the all cash crypto economy king of sports conferences, it just feels like a natural fit. - So the Big Ten is started like, you know, literally in the part of the world that the American Revolutionary School of the North-West Territory, this little plop of land was where like the entire Big Ten was. And for a while it's sort of like, (mimics) slowly, slowly spread beyond. And then one day all of a sudden decided, Los Angeles. And Eugene, Oregon decided it was everywhere. But there is one corner of the country that it has not yet ventured into. And like, based on the logic of its previous moves, you don't go just a little bit. You go all the way. Like you don't go near the coast. You go to Rutgers. And you know, you know, you don't go near the other coast. You get four coastal, four teams in coastal states on the other. But they don't have a southeastern most team. (laughing) So any team in Florida would do, but it kind of has to be either Miami or FIU. So I say let's add them both. Hey, Miami went to a title game. Miami almost, Miami fair, better games. - Miami is miserable in their conference. - That's so. - Everyone in their conference is gettable. They, you know, they almost beat Indiana. Most of your teams didn't almost beat Indiana. They love to throw money around. So if you give them some money to throw around, they would be delighted. FIU, I don't know, you get hit bull. And you could really use some like, I know big 10 fans like the map commercial. It's, I don't know why they like it. I don't know why they like the map commercial so much. But, um, - 'Cause it's like a book. - Because it's like a book commercial. - Oh, it feels like I'm, - Here's my app. - It feels like I'm looking at a book. - Yes. - A chart. - A chart. - A book. - A book sent being happy. - Like a big 10 made a commercial that was like average and you'll rainfall of each big 10 city, big 10, big 10, big 10. - Oh, look. - They updated the map of their latest acquisitions. - I want to see the average. (laughing) - I do. - You know, you wouldn't think these lands would be as high as it would it is. (laughing) - It's real wet. - Like that you're casting them as the advisors from SimCity. They are all big 10 schools. - They're all, listen, the big 10 is full of - Wow. - Jeopardy contestants and aspiring Jeopardy contestants. And the mapped commercial is some Jeopardy-ass shit. (laughing) - It's, it is very like playing a, a civilization. - That's the thing is full of prices, right contestants and prices, right ass, we just want to shout, buddy, buddy, no. - $1.00! - $1.00! - I want them, I want them, I want them, I want them. - $1,000. (laughing) - The XZ is full of people who want to win a car for no reason that they'll have to be texting someone. - I won't kill you for that Donetson. (laughing) - Yeah, I want to win a ski trip. (laughing) I don't even know how. (laughing) - There are no mountains here. (laughing) - I want both showcases. The fuck am I gonna do with three air frights? - That's right, I'm ruined. (laughing) But I won. (laughing) - Garbore. (laughing) - Someone ever had a negative cash value on the like taxable value of their showcase. Somebody's gotta have that, right? - That's what, that's, listen, Jeopardy is all, Jeopardy is all like, where nice clothes look good. Hey, stand still, price is right is all like, hey, where are Goofy sure? Get ready to jump around. You're gonna kiss your carry on the mouth. It's gonna be crazy. (laughing) - You're gonna do little physical stunts. (laughing) - Yeah, since we said that, I can man off the cliff, it's gonna be crazy. - Honestly, half a price is right, games are basically like tailgate games, right? - Yes, yes. - If your tailgate didn't have Plinko, I don't know what you were doing. - Yeah. - You got that right, I know how much bottle and Windex costs a drink at every week. (laughing) - Meanwhile on Jeopardy, it's like, when a modest amount of money. (laughing) - When a thousand dollars. - You wrote $12,000, congratulations. - I'm waiting, I'm waiting. - If you know this fact, you win $2,000. - I don't wanna look a gift horse in the mouth, but like a day on Jeopardy is not changing your life. - Jeopardy yes, Jeopardy is all about when an amount of money that won't offend the Lord. - The pro-scientist Lord, not me, I'm in it. (laughing) - By, by you know what, it's also very Catholic. They're like, what do you do? I ask questions. - I ask questions. - That's what I do. - Yes. - The answers are before me and I perform a cataclysm and we go through them and then I receive a tasteful amount of money. And if I do make a million dollars, it's because I won, day in and take out. - Oh, I see dollars and means. I won 137 days in a row. - I selected a video clue. - This is exciting. I'm putting a disc for a literal big hope. - Look at me. (laughing) - I got an F-150. (laughing) - I got an F-16, it don't matter. (laughing) - I got an F-16. (laughing) Why? It's because I knew how much it for temple. That's right. - And like the ultimate brain strategy is to offer only $1. Like that is the challenge that if you are able to do that, you win but no one can bring themselves to do it. - It's text fraud. - If you are able to not waste money, you win. - Yeah. - It's the most SEC thing ever. How much would you pay for this good or value? - Same thing, I pay my full full, I'll play it. - Hot dollar. - One hot dollar, that's what? (laughing) - One dollar. - I'm excited to see F-I-U in the new map. (laughing) - Here, there it is. - There they are. That's where Florida is. ♪ I'm gonna live forever in the library ♪ - Whoa, it's a picture of the United States. - I'm learning about rivers and borders. - Fascinating. - Some borders are rivers but not all of them. - They say it shouldn't be, but really the St. Louis Arch does deserve national park status. - Meanwhile, I'm in the grocery store casino. It's my scene. (laughing) Dude, I think the most like SEC game shows actually super market suite. - What are you doing? - Paolo, that shit is, - Hey, I'm grabbing, grabbing and going before the cops show up. - Turkeys, hey, I'm turkeys. - Hey, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I got five beef tenderloin, this is the best thing in my life. - Mama, I'm going to the grocery store. We need one arm loader too. - I sold the riddle about cabbage. (laughing) - I'm the smartest boy in here. Give me my cabbage. (laughing) (laughing) - Also, it's all about speed. (laughing) - Big tentative, that shit would be super market lurch. (laughing) - What do you do? - Super market trade. - Welcome to Bargain's Market, careful selection. - It is, you're gonna go aisle by aisle. You're gonna stick to the periphery because everything in the middle, that's how they get you. - Ooh, look at this map of the grocery store. - Look at the unit. - This is the vegetable that's in season, so I'll buy that. - No man! It's corn every day here. (laughing) - Corn syrup, ain't got time to chew. (laughing) Just, what is he doing? Why monster? Why monster? Why monster? Why monster? (laughing) He hasn't gone out of that. - Oh, why monster? Why monster? - Wanted to tie. - It's the low kick of drinks. - I'll spam it. (laughing) - You roll back up to the front and your cart has white monster falling out of it. (laughing) That is the only thing in your entire cart on the bottom of the cart, too. You're getting tucked in your shirt. (laughing) - Cargo shorts. - I listen, right from dad, what is white monster latent cart that weighed 1,289 pounds? - How did you find all of that? There are only six of the sh-- - All right, we found, we hit a vein. - All right, what do you think this rich white monster costs? - $1! $1! (laughing) - I'm telling you, as you see contestants, I should have said, I'm sorry, the big 12 contestant is the one who hits the vein, the or the gusher of white monster, right? - Oh man. (laughing) - I'm just going to hold my mouth open. - If the SEC put out a mock maps commercial that just had raisin canes locations across the SEC map, I would laugh for any fucking heart. - Now if Culver's did a map commercial, let's stand in salute. - Sure. - But yeah. - Come to the Culver's map. - Wisconsin. - And then. (laughing) - One little lonely outpost in like Mary at a Georgia. Just being right there. - They're spreading curbs and-- - Not quickly. - I gotta tell you, I ate at a Culver's in Orange Beach, Alabama and I have to tell you, in hot weather it felt wrong. It felt deeply, I felt poisoned and sick, eating Culver's in hot weather. - I do like, I think my favorite Culver's thing, is give me that spicy chicken sandwich. And this Wisconsin spicy is-- - We have a whole pepper. (laughing) - Got a little kick to it, Bab. - We should, now I think we should swap these contestants as you see Jeopardy. (laughing) - Who is that who give a shit? - Big day. (laughing) - Who is bear brine? - Next. - They wouldn't do the question thing. - I told you it got damn answer. (laughing) - No, sorry. - You did in the form of a question. - Who's asking questions? - You ate! - You got the answer. - You a lawyer. - Why do I gotta say anything? (laughing) (laughing) Just, just, just, whole category that's just like Chad. Chad. - Office. - What do you mean I gotta pay $400 from an answer? I'm doing it. You give me money. - But then you explain it's all gambling, right? - Oh, okay, okay. All of it. - Yeah, Daily Goals, where SEC doesn't go to him. - Just the whole column of things, that's like the category. - Put down the car keys. - Here. - The category, fuck you talking about. (laughing) - Let's do, do you wanna break from podcast business before we finish up? - Sure. - I have to take this dog out because she is pacing terribly. I'll be right back. - If you. - Who's gonna sing the song? - Bob, has Serbere ever sing it? - Serbere ever sing it. - Serbere ever sing the song. - You're a qualified singer here. - I wanna live for the end of the year. - And podcast business guy. - Bob, Bob, Bob. - I do pay for goods. - Bob, this is with Cran. - Ding! - Cards tonight. - Right, and your job is subway. - Not song. - Sorry. - And that's the song ladies and gentlemen. (laughing) - Folks, on our Patreon, patreon.com/itdownfocasts, we got some new shit coming. Spencer has developed a new series idea. It's gonna be pretty fun. And that one will be up a mumble, mumble date, but we're gonna record it pretty soon. So yeah, go there. $4 or whatever you want. A bunch of y'all do it. Thank you. Thank you all. Next. - Holly, what's going on at channel-6.com? - Thank you Spencer Hall. Your rights most of the newsletter called channel six is available at, I don't know, the links in our bios. It's a newsletter. We write it. We are closing in on five total years of doing this thing, which is terrifying. Thank you all. It is either $10 a month or $100 a year. And we will deliver you two newsletter a week, usually more, especially in the off season. Today, yesterday, for those of you listening to this episode and not staring at me through the computer, we published a newsletter that is one of my favorite things we've done in a really long time about the Olympic Slalom skier yesterday, who clipped a gate, straddle to gate, and was disqualified for metal contention, and through his ski poles in one direction off of the course and walked all the way across the course, a considerable distance to lay down in the snow on the other side of the course. We had a conference in our office watching this event where we both said it about the same time. This is the most relatable, I've ever seen, an Olympic athlete me. This is the most I've ever related to an Olympic athlete. And we almost immediately realized this was for completely different reasons. Me, because of, well, everybody who has ever skied has had this moment. This is like a huge part of skiing. The emotional spectrum of skiing is a lot like golf. And what's been spent for a minute by this is relatable is I am making a list of sports equipment that I have destroyed in my life when I was mad. And so we decided to kind of write out that in a dialogue type process. That's available at our newsletter right now. You should pay money for it. It's pretty good. Also, it means we don't have to get other jobs. That's nice. I appreciate it. Hey, Ryan, what are you doing? - Over at Phantom Island, we have, same time this episode is coming out, the most full cast episode that we have done on Phantom Island. - Oh, no. - But I mean that in a very specific way. It was a tactical nightmare that Cerbera had to spend a lot of time stitching together. And the whole thing was undercut by the time it came out. It is the most like, hey, you tried to do a thing and fate had other plans. - Popular in your lesson. - It is technically about the Buffalo Sabers, but it is about more than the Buffalo Sabers. You will get to hear a little bit from our friend Victoria Zeller on that episode. You can go to Phantom Island.show and sign up to be a paid member and then you get both episodes that we do. And because it's important that I do this like I do on every ad read for the show. - Howdy, it's Ryan Nanny. Go to Phantom Island.show. This is how I'm talking while I want you to listen to me and Steven Godfrey. Talk about sports on a Wednesday for free and on Friday not for free. That's me. Ha ha, bye bye now. Hey, not fair. You listen to the show. That's cheating. - I don't know why Cerbera untouched the usual Ryan filter button for just a moment there. - Cerbera, are you good? We apologize for that. - Sorry. - The apologies will not happen again. Or will it? - I heard. - Iski filter back on. - I heard a lot of hollering. - Nope. Just me talking in my normal voice about my normal. - Just getting excited about Homefield a pair of that's all. - Are you hollering about Homefield a pair? - Always. I'm always hollering. I'm running down the aisles of the supermarket. (laughing) - To head out. - To the unit press. I buy Homefield. - Don't even look. - That's right. - I'm just stacking my cart full shirts and sweat shirts and joggers and socks and hats. - I'll take one armload of hats, please. - Right. - One armload. - I mean, don't eat the jackets from Homefield, barrel.com. - I'm gonna eat them if I want them. - I'm gonna eat the fucking just for that. I'm gonna eat two. - I guess I can't stop you. - I buy milk at the pet store and I'm gonna. (laughing) - That's our bumper sticker for the next corner. (laughing) - Let's see here, Homefield of Parall. Let's look at the North Dakota State apparel. Hey, have you heard of other assumptions? - North Dakota State's on the move. - Yeah. - Right, and you have a North Dakota State item. - I think Spencer and I have the same North Dakota State yellow shirt. - Yes we do. - That's the first shirt they ever sent us. I think we all had that one. - Yeah. - For did at some point. - The old timey logos are great. There's the rounded one and the extremely square one. (laughing) - The, I really like also the hat. Just trucker hat. - Do we think it's square to honor the rectilinear nature of the state? - Or perhaps Fargo Dome itself. - Yeah, I would hope so. - The rounded one, it reminds me of the old San Diego Padres. - I like the vintage hockey tee because it looks like an evil corporation from a futuristic sci-fi movie called "NDSU Bison." - I like that. I like to imagine that. - I think most people look good in this dark green. - Yes, I agree with that. - Like this bomber jacket is gonna be a hit. - Yep. - For most. - Yeah, yellow can be a tough color, but that green's nice on everybody. - Yeah. - 'Cause you're gonna look like money. - It's right. - Woo, that's right. - Not a state level money yet, but what day? You'll see. - There's no such thing as that much money. - $1.9 billion economic impact. - You're not gonna look like theoretical money. - That's right. - You take that truck made of money that we're driving into the Mac. - You know what you'll look like? You'll look like the responsible amount of money for winning two days of jeopardy. I'll go ahead and bump into, you know what I look like? $37,000 and five. - Yeah. You ain't gonna look like sack, crypto, state, university. You'll look like a 10-time champion. - That's right. - That's right. But only if you go to Homefieldofparall.com. - Homefieldofparall.com. Where they've got all the clothes you need. - Yep. Buy these clothes. Put them on your body. - We need all the expensive stuff. - The expensive stuff. - Be new on the box. - Y'all, no pads if we don't serve you. (laughing) - It's bad. New boat muse Spencer could wear a North Dakota state hat. - That's it. - 'Cause we don't want to, we don't want his skull getting so burned. - They make their socks. - Yeah, that's true. Okay, fair. - He'll go mad if his head gets sunburned. - That's true. (laughing) (laughing) - Additionally, you should go to the Until Saturday newsletter. I did, in today's edition, it's about Sacramento State, included a map showing how far FBS conferences have strayed from their ancestral homelands over the last 20 years, like almost all of them are just coagulating in the middle other than the virtuous and righteous sunbelt, which is the only honest and noble and ethical conference. Everyone else is just like whirlpooling into the middle. Until Saturday newsletter. That's what we talked about today. - That's excellent. In my absence, do we talk about Channel 6? - You did. - Yep, I'd be hard to say. And server, anything on the killer, answer the Z, front that we should be aware of. - That's a Z to those listening in New Zealand, Australia, the UK, or Canada, even you insensitive son of a bitch. It is next month March 21st. That we would play with I anomaly in Janice 414 at Gas Hill drinking room wins the Salem. But then we got shows in April, May, June, right now. We play Pride Festival again. I think this year in Winston, Salem. So come on out to that if you're in the area. And you can, as always, let's do a song, "Bank Camp." Prime music, YouTube music, Spotify. Other places as well. And listen to "Hand in the Dirt." - "Growing Podcast Buffal Ball." - It's a lifestyle podcast. - It really is a lifestyle podcast. - Can we do a C-shanty podcast business song? Is it good or is it out? (imitates "Bank Camp" by David Holt) - It's about to be like six, eight, yeah. - Yeah. - "A podcast business." - Yo, ho! - Oh, it's so good! way so busy. Very good. So, it's passing through you fast. There we go. Fire's right out of there, but you're no longer digesting it. From stamp just turn, it's a listen, you'll learn it'll fire right out of your ass. Good. Holly, did you have any bad geography as far as conference tree alignment goes? Fellas, I have five. Good, five. Wow. Good. That's not a threat. Sorry, maybe I'll skip some of these. I had estimated that when we started this exercise that most of you would be bolstering a conference by taking a team from a smaller league and putting it into a bigger one. And that has been not entirely born out, but I thought I might provide a little counterweight on the other end by taking schools from more powerful conferences. I don't know what we're calling them now. And putting them into what we used to call mid-maiters. We're moving things in the other direction. I don't want anybody to think of this as relegation, because we've also done that episode 10 to 12 times before. But be because I really feel like these are win-win situations for both the school and the league involved with a couple of exceptions. We'll get to go. Let's start at the American. It geographically is wildly incoherent. So I was looking at its other needs because when you're trying to find something that geographically doesn't fit in the American, nothing fits geographically in the American and there before everything fits, right? So I was looking at what their other most defining characteristics are. They got a strong basketball history as the former Big East. If you were to put the states with American schools in them on a map, to make the whole conference contiguous, you need to connect the map via most logically Mississippi. But via Memphis and Tulane, Mississippi is already kind of surrounded. And it would be nice if the conference had a strong leader. And if the school that we added wanted desperately to be a strong leader in its league and has never quite been able to reach that pinnacle. Arkansas, welcome to your new kingdom. Wow. Okay. You might win it. I like this. No, you can ride heard over the whole thing. Conference USA. Conference USA's Wikipedia entry begins. The dictionary defines conference USA as best. A collegiate athletic conference of member institutions in the Southern and Western United States. This is a conference that includes Delaware and no further states, the West and New Mexico state. The West is bigger than you think. It's like 600 miles from Las Cruces to the California border. The South is infatically covered by a FIU, the conference again with the American, as no other real defining characteristics. This is kind of a cheat, but I am giving you Boise State because here is another school that needs to be, that wants to be the big dog in a little conference. And it's getting a little bit crowded over there in the mountain west. You could shine her forever here probably. The Mac. All the Mac from a no state memes in the world will not make this seem reasonable. You are helping turn this place into the NFL. This is some real NFC shit. And even that is not as ridiculous as what you've been saying to make it happen. 90, 975 million in economic impact. I can't even read it right. And 675 million in broadcast impact sounds to me like prospecting. You want everybody to think you are flush with cash regardless of whether or not you are flush with cash and up to the task all the time. So what do you need? You need somebody equally hopeless who occasionally runs into money. Hello Oklahoma State. Welcome to the Mac. Hell yeah. Now literally a little American conference. They have lost at least one game to a Mac team. So they're going to be this means the rest of the Mac can't even be mad because it's not like we're bringing somebody into ride sway over them as we're Arkansas. All right. Mountain West. You need a new leading light with the loss of Boise one that has the deep deep pockets to compete with the cash infusions from you and LV. A regular service adjacent rival for Air Force would also be nice and let's make sure it has horrendous politics. So it's a cultural fit. They need to be able to afford the flight of Hawaii on a semi regular basis. And this led me to the little institution who we gave every chance to join a conference. They were okay with filling a schedule from Notre Dame. You cannot get through your own carefully selected regular season schedule. So we are picking one for you. Unless you think, Hey, Notre Dame's not in the mountains. NIE was only 883 feet above sea level and Notre Dame is 719 feet above sea level. What are you really complaining about? This also leaves the only indie standing as glorious Yukon, which I think we all agree is a fitting crown for them to wear. And defeated in regulation. Look it up. Yeah. All right. Last one. Thumb belt. Where are the cities with the most sun duration in the US? Sacrubino is in the top 10. That's interesting. My first instinct to add to the sunbelt was Penn State. They don't have a good rival. The rivalries at around Penn State are one directional. Penn State considers Michigan or Ohio State to be their rivals. They do not return that sentiment pit in West Virginia. Only care about each other. Wouldn't it be nice to have two teams geographically proximate who both care about you way more than you care about them? Don't you want that? Any inclusion of J.M.U. and Marshall in the sunbelt? Who fix that? However, the inclusion of J.M.U. and Marshall in the sunbelt maybe eliminates Penn State from consideration because the sunbelt has gone so far north that Penn State makes too much sense to add to the sunbelt. So I moved further into the Big Ten. I don't want to separate Wisconsin and Minnesota. But if we add Michigan State to the sunbelt, maybe they can get some recruits. Mm-hmm. Powerful. It's powerful. Pat Fitzgerald in the sunbelt. It matches his personality. It could be a corrupt cop now. Yeah. I would like to apologize to the sunbelt. Or what I just said. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. That's right. Yeah. Also, as we've said before, Pat Fitzgerald, the kind of guy who's highest ambition in life, is shitting on a boat. Which the sunbelt can help him with that. It's a lot of places. It's a hangar on long enough he'll learn how to shit off of a boat. That's right. Tough amounts. Bonus ACC edition. This was going to be a joke, but since we don't have rules or laws, it'll be more. Let's just put stop trying to make a new pack 12. Stop it. Let's just put wazoo and organ state into the ACC and have done with it the pack 12 with two Z's. Pack the pack. Pack. The ACC you can't fight. Just call it the coastal conference. Yeah, perhaps the American coastal conference. You don't even have to change the station there. That's good. I love it. I also can I tell you there's a bit of poetry in here, right? Of history rhyming with Arkansas, like becoming its own big fish and a little pond. A little bit. That's exactly what Arkansas is forever aspirational peer who refuses to acknowledge them. This University of Texas did twice in different conferences, right? In the Southwest Conference end of the big 12. So I kind of like Arkansas being chicken little and being like, I can do it too. Look, I got me a bunch of patsys. And it will work out just as well. That's the best part is that they'd be like, aha, a lot of a patsys. Let's knock them down. They'll be like 75. These patsys are 30. Shit. These patsys could take so many punches. There's like, let me tell you about a sturdy patsy. I once did. A sturdy patsy. That old girl. Ryan, do you have a C-shanty about sturdy patsy? You can say, oh, sturdy patsy. Love this way, BMT.