Readers Beware... | Reading Reddit Stories

Before we get into this episode, I do want to give a trigger warning. This is the scary episode, which means there are some intense themes and subjects that we are going to talk about. Hello, and welcome to Smoshread's Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today is a spooky scary episode. And I am joined by two people who are spooky and scary, Damian and Angela. - Whoa. - Whoa. - Oh, my God, psych. - That's your thing. - Whoa. - Matt. - Matt. - Hoi-ya! - Best holiday ever. - Best holiday ever. Next to Christmas. - Agreed. - What could possibly-- - You're a Thanksgiving guy. - I'm not a Thanksgiving guy. - I knew he's a Thanksgiving guy. - Yes, you are. - I promise you I'm not a Thanksgiving guy. - You're a Thanksgiving guy. - I am not a Thanksgiving guy. - It's-- - I'm not a Thanksgiving guy. - What the fuck are you? - What are you? - I'm thinking. Let me think about all the holidays. - I'm thinking about it. - What are the other holidays? - The Boxing Day, boy. - That's our other day. - Our other day. - Watch your Thanksgiving day. - The inner-save count. - Yeah, counts. - But you're a Thanksgiving guy. Look at you. - More than a Halloween guy. - You're in cowboy boots. You're Thanksgiving. - That's true. - Are those one of those third days? - No, these are both of them. - She's not even-- - I don't know. - Halloween's really fun. - Here's what I like about Halloween. Here's my hot tick. - Yeah. - Halloween the day, it's always kind of whatever. - The week? - The month is what's cool. And it's not even because I have so many friends. I feel like you're one of them. Who their month is planned out. - I don't feel like you're-- - It's Damien. - I feel like-- - You seem like you have so many friends. - This is one of them. - I have so many friends. - I made it. - I made it. - I made it. - I made it. - I have a lot of friends who I feel like the October is their month, right? Chance is another one. I feel like where it's like, oh yeah, I've got it all planned out. - Let's get Christmas. - By August. - Halloween is gay Christmas. - Yeah, yeah. But for me, I don't really feel like I do a lot throughout October. I go to like, maybe one or two parties. And thanks. So cool. Compared in LA, compared to like a lot of people. That's a very small amount. - It's a big social month. - I have a lot of fun in my own geeky way. Where like in October, I'm just like, well, I'm gonna read scary books and watch scary movies. So I kind of like, I just have a theme for like, what I'm doing all the time. - I think it's just the vibe. Like, I call it like the month of it. I call it pumpkin times. - Yeah. - The same way I know the macaroids have candle nights. But I've got pumpkin times. - Nice. - Let's make it a thing. And you know, like, Christmas gets earlier and earlier every year. I'm starting to, you know, when we film this, beginning of August. I'm already seeing a bunch of stuff in stores for Halloween. I'm like, good. Take it over. - Yeah. - I need that dopamine. I want the like, pumpkins everywhere. I want a spider web. - Yeah. - Get your pumpkins out. Get your pumpkins out, dude. - Hey. It's Saturday morning. Reddit's here. Whip out those pumps. Pumpkin pancakes actually sound pretty good. - Oh. - I love a pumpkin beer. - So sorry. - A pumpkin egg? - I can do a pumpkin egg occasionally. - Yeah, sometimes they're too much. - Sometimes they're too much. - Yeah, yeah. - Usually, I don't drink anymore. But whenever I had a pumpkin egg, it sounded so good. But I, it didn't like, it didn't merge. Sorry, it didn't merge. It was just like, it was an egg and there was some. - I get what you're saying. - Yeah. - Well, are we ready for some scary stories? - Yes. - To get us in the zone. I hope this isn't too scary, Shane. - Well, I have been informed that some of these stories are on the more spooky side of, like, paranormal ghosts, perhaps. And then there are some on the scary side of real-life scary situations that people have. - Bad boyfriends. - Public speaking. - Not having healthy communication in boundaries. - Ghosts again. - Rule of force, sorry. - Rule of force. - Kind of do it. Okay, let's get into it. Oh, man, okay. This first one comes from the paranormal sub-run it. - Okay. - I think my house is haunted. I see gnomes and hear voices. - Gnomes? - Context. Southeast of Spain, I have one old French bulldog. All doors are locked. I only have two neighbors, et cetera. They both wear little hats. Do you know what gnomes are? - Yeah. - Okay, just making sure. You turn and you went gnomes? - Yeah, no, but I don't want to open this kind of morons, but I don't really know what a gnomes. But keep going. - Oh, I feel like that's maybe a-- - They work for travelosity. - It's just like a little guy in a-- - I know it's just like a little guy. - Or like a garden gnome. - And a garden gnome, yeah. - A little guy with a hat. - I feel like there's probably a monster version of them, right? In some parts of the world where it's like, "Oh, it's just like an evil little creature." - Ooh. - I see the kebler elves and I think those are gnomes. - Okay. - And I know they say their elves. - They say their elves, but I'm like-- - Yeah. - But we don't know them, our respect. - Yeah. - Okay, so he has one old French bulldog. All doors are locked, I only have two neighbors, et cetera. I'm laying in bed scrolling on my phone and I hear my husband shouting, "Babe, I look at my clock "knowing it's way too early for him to be home." I open the bedroom door and reply, "Yeah, nothing." I assume he didn't hear me. We live in an apartment with weird angles, walls, sometimes it muffles words. I yell my husband's name back, still nothing. Now I'm weirded out. I call him and I'm half laughing, half panicked and ask him if he's home. He says no. I ask him what he's doing and he says he's driving to the airport. We run a car rental business. I tell him what happened and he assured me I'm home alone. I'm at a loss. I hear him call me so clearly. It was like he was looking for me. I've checked the whole house and nobody is home apart from me and our dog and old friendship who can barely walk anymore. I've had other experiences in this house such as a literal gnome running under our bed. I'm serious. I can't explain it and it sent shivers all over my body. Okay, yeah, pause. You're like, "Oh, I heard a voice. "By the way, I have seen a little tiny man." Run, under my bed. By the way, side note, side note. I've seen a tiny little man run around. Back to the voice. That's also the thing I heard. It's so clear to know what it is. If in your periphery, see something move, you'll be like, what was that? A mouse, a spider, I should investigate. To say without a doubt, this was a gnome. - Yeah. - It's crazy to say periphery. - A periphery. - periphery. - peripheral vision takes two logs. So I just say periphery. - Yes. - Update. - Already? So that was the whole thing when he paused and now that's up to-- - Is that the story? - You updated so fast. - Do you have anything to talk about? - She lives in a tree. I don't know. - That was just crazy. I've just never heard you. It was just having so fast. - Yeah, for sure. - That was the end of it. She was like, "Okay, I heard a voice." - I heard a voice. - But it doesn't compare to the gnome ran under my bed. - I guess I need to ask. Before we get further into these stories, Angela, where do you find yourself on when it comes to ghosts or paranormal or things? - I'm not asking you if you're a believer or not. How quickly are you like when something happens to be a skeptic of it or to be-- - Depends on the day. But I am usually probably right in the middle. Like, I'll be like, "Are we sure she wasn't tired that day?" - Yeah. - But then I'm also like, so a gnome must have lived there before. You know, so I kind of buy into it. And you buy into it too, right? - Nah, I mean, I love paranormal stuff. I love the stories, I love the idea of it. I don't personally really believe in pretty much anything at all, but you know, even close family members have ghost stories of things they went through. And I'm like, I believe them, but then in a back of my mind, I'm like, "Well, it was the '80s, maybe they were cooked out." Like, I don't know, you know? - That's also fair. - What are you? - I kind of, I'm super skeptical, right? And so people think that I don't believe in anything. My thing is I believe anything is possible, but because I believe absolutely anything is possible, and I believe there's an infinite amount that we don't know, I need to be skeptical and tear everything away. - Yeah, yeah, me and I make sure. - So like, if I see a blur go by, I go, I know that I saw a blur go by. I know that I don't know what the fuck just happened. - Yeah. - Where I get skeptical is especially when people go like, "Oh, I saw gnome." And I'm like, "You're so certain." And I'm like, "That's where I'm not skeptical." I'm not skeptical of the world being mysterious and having a lot there. I am skeptical of human perception because it has been proven to be so faulty. You're a fan of true crime. You know that witness testimony is very like up in the air because our memory, our perception is tough to trust a lot of times. - Sure. - And so I'm like, "I need to be skeptical." I need to be skeptical because I'm skeptical of what I am see. - Yes, yes. - It's not that I don't trust people. I don't trust just our brains sometimes. - I also like, I think a lot of things can be explained and like my dad had a good way of putting it. It's like everything is magic until you understand how it works. But like I was swiping earlier today and I didn't even look into whether the image was real or not. But like, you know, sometimes water turns red due to some kind of algae and it was like a waterfall in Antarctica that was like pure red and it looked like blood. And I thought to myself like, if I didn't know exactly how that happened and there was not like internet communicating stuff, I would have been like the falls turned red and when we killed Jake that counted as a sacrifice and it stopped being red. You know what I mean? Like it's so easy to be like, this is probably it, right? - Yeah. - So look, I mean we live in a world where we have to be skeptical of like AI can create a person who talks and sounds real. And I'll be right back. I'm like, we already live in such a-- Oh, Mr. Beast is really my friend. Like, we're already living in the sci-fi world that we've read about as a kid. So I'm like, I am not saying anything is impossible. I'm just like, I have to be skeptical. Sure. But there's mysterious stuff. And look, there's so much undiscovered. There's so much once we discover it, once we know what's going on, it changes what that could be, right? I'm also the type that, like, I would love to be-- love to be proven wrong. Like, in the same way of being skeptical. Like, if there was some way, someone would be like, oh, yeah, we found gnomes and we've made contact. Great. It's probably not under Bethika's bed after thousands of years of being undetected. Right, I mean, like-- Have you guys seen the Dynasty Ghost? The Dynasty Ghost. I've heard. There's a theater before I'm at a lot. Dynasty typewriter. And they have a documented ghost sighting. And then I do my podcast there. And someone in the comments was, like, second ghost sighting at Dynasty. So then I fully was on board because it was the second. Like, if it's a pattern, if that gnomes back, I'm in, right? But then we looked at it, and it looks like a piece of A.C. Like, A.C. is a bit weird. But the first one, you have to-- I'll show it to you. It's each grace. Really? I'm sure. I'm sure. And I'm not doubting you. No, no, no, sir doubting me. We hear you. But I'm skeptical because I believe most people want ghost to be real, because we want to prove that there's more, right? Because there's, I think, to me, there's nothing scarier than them not existing. Yeah. Did I ever tell you my really sad ghosts aren't real story? It's not sad, sad. But I've always loved paranormal stuff. And when I was a little kid, maybe six, five, or whatever, went to Disney World for the first time, rode the haunted mansion. And at the very end, they're looking in the mirrors and says, be careful. You might just take something home with you. When you see in the mirrors, there's a ghost with you. And my parents were like, hear that. You might take it home and be careful. The moment I get home, first thing I do is run into the bathroom and look in the mirror. And I'm like, it's not working. It's not working. Like, how do I do this? And I like talking to my parents. I'm like, where's the ghost? And they were like, oh, sweetie, it was just in the mirrors. And the haunted mansion. But I wanted a ghost friend so bad. This is why I think I'd be a fucked-up mother. I'd be like, look to your left. And I'm like, I got to kill someone for my kids. Don't see him, Damien. Oh, I appreciate it. I'm kidding, I would do that. OK. OK. I need to know. Sorry, sorry, I know you're perfect. What happened? OK, update. A year update, I'm selling this house I've had enough. Whoa. So it's a year since everything happened. The snake, the gnome, the voices. The snake? I love this offer. She just says, like, a funny way. And things aren't much better. We have small possessions go missing and turn up in crook and crannies. My underwear and my husband's jewelry often winds up under our living room sofa when they have no reason to be there. It can't be my French bulldog as she's too big to fit under. We also routinely hear whistles slash weird mimicking, like sounds. A big one is when I leave the house. Ooh. Well, there is another update. Well, thank you. I saw that whole thing. You made me feel bad about that. Yay. Woke up to a sink of warm soapy water. What gives? OK, as the title suggests, my husband, who's 25 and I, 24, are asleep. It's currently 12.55 AM as I type this. I wake up to get a drink of water. And the washing up bowl is full of warm soapy water. Wake up my husband. He is just as confused. The pots are from earlier and all dry. We live alone, and I always leave my bowl slash sink empty due to flies. What the fuck? I've never experienced this before. I have had weird experiences here, but nothing like this. Sorry, stop. Stop. Your sink fills with soapy water and you go, I've never seen anything like this. A gnome red under your bed. [LAUGHTER] I like, come on. Stay consistent with us. Please. I've never seen you sit up water in this. No, I'm just like, you've got to be-- you've got to at least go. I have had weird experiences here, but nothing like this except for the gnome red under my bed. I like this, though. It makes me believe that she believes it, because so many of these reddit stories were like, what happened last night? I have to tell you. It all began on Thursday. You're like, OK, this is too written. You're full of shit. At the very least, I think she believes this is happening, which is-- Listen, this may be in poor taste, but do you think the gnomes, bone and moaned too hard, bowl of soapy water? Bowl of soapy water. OK, this is one where-- That's disgusting, you know what I mean? I got to be completely honest. I thought you were just cleaning up. No. No, no, come on. Unfortunately, I am skeptical of this lady's judgment a little bit. Yeah, because a sink being full of water is actually an extremely normal thing. Am I wrong? OK. I see a sink full of water that-- didn't have water in before, and I have chills. Do you play fast enough of me? You don't think that water could have come up from the sink? Oh, we could have come up. Or just your sink. I had a crazy one happen. I came home, and now I lived in a-- like the fourth story of a apartment building. And I came home one time, and there was just perfectly a puddle in the middle of my kitchen area, like a couple feet from the sink, perfectly just in the middle, and then-- but the sink was empty, and I was like, where did this puddle of clear water come from? And then I noticed there was water around the edge of the sink, and I deduced, and we had had-- there's plumbing issues. I deduced that I was like, wow, because I'd been gone all day. The water had overflowed onto the ground, and then gone down, and then because the sun hit my area-- Yeah, it dried off, but there had evaporated enough. Wow. That was my assumption. Now, ultimately, I don't know. Now, I've also told stories on here. I'm like, I have been in an apartment by myself and just a full on yell happen, just in the apartment that sounded like it was inside, and it went on for a while. And I was like, was it inside? And it was actually me. It was actually me. You looking in the mirror, and you're like, excuse me. And then I was like, I looked in the mirror, and I saw that I was just like, oh! I solved it. That's horrifying. But I have no idea. I just don't know. I think they live in an area with weird trees. Hear me out. I've also had plumbing issues before, because trees have grown into pipes. That's how my neighbors do do, ended up in my shower, which was very scary. Your neighbor's shit and you're sitting-- No, we promised. It was rude. And you know, like, trees rubbing up against windows can sound like-- I'm your husband. I'm your husband. Yeah, and-- Maybe we're trees. So they live in Spain, which means there could be some very old architecture. Southeast Barcelona trees? It's always-- look, here's part of also my skepticism. It's always really old buildings. Yeah. It's like, yeah, it's old. Because yeah, there's people that live there. I'm like, it's also old, which means the infrastructure of it's bad. And then shitting is like, things are falling apart. The lights are crazy. Yeah, like, there's a lot going on that we don't see those rats in the walls. There's also, I will say, this does happen, where people live in people's places. That's how I know about it. Actual guests, I was thinking. Here's the sink. Well, sorry. You can't just show a sink of water and be like, here's proof. So the tub is filled with water, but the sink around it is not. But I don't know. Right, but that's so-- So it didn't come up from the pipes. It didn't come up from beneath it. It's in that tub. But I get what you're saying, where it's just like, all right, person on the internet, I trust you. Yeah. And that's the tough thing with the internet. That's why no matter what you read, you kind of have to always have that lens of someone could be lying. We see that with any Reddit story, right? Where it's like, oh, hey, my girlfriend's being really shitty. And then you get the girlfriend commenting, being like, do you want to tell them the actual story? Yeah, yeah. Are the comments like begging for more gnome stuff? So that is the poll, huh? Because I'm like, what happened? So top comment, frogging with a pH. Frogging is when someone secretly lives in another person's home without their knowledge. I think that could be-- And there's been a lot of proven cases of it, to shocking degrees, not to terrify you. So there was a video of this apartment. And truly, someone was living in a high-up cupboard. And it's like, people-- There's a high-cubbered situation. There's also a famous story where it was like a crawl space of an attic where they were just sort of off to the side. And there was a happy ending one where it was once the lady found out, you know, she actually let them stay there for like-- And they kissed. It was a hallmark movie. It was called "Dirty, stinky, attic man." No, she let them stay there for like a week or two until it was like he was able to get back on his feet. But yeah, no, I think-- It's a possibility. We don't know. And if he's tiny and has a little hat. And if he's-- hey, someone said, if you have an attic or crawl space, you might want to check them. Oh, he said, we have no attic or basement. And we live in a two-bedroom apartment. We have checked the rooms and nothing. Check the locks just to be sure. We do have a few crawl spaces, but too much furniture to check. No. Lastly, someone said, carbon monoxide. And Opie said, we've checked all clear. Yeah. We're good. Yeah. They're like, no, the detector's not going off. They're like, Madam, that's a banana. [LAUGHTER] This is freaky. Do you have carbon monoxide? A whole ghost is like, no, we're-- - She's lying to you. - You were good. - We're reacting. - All right, up day number three. - There we go. - Let's go. - Hi everyone, sorry I didn't update sooner. I have-- - Hi everyone, it's me, the gnome. (laughing) - I tried to update sooner. (laughing) - It takes me so long to get to individual keys. - I found out peace post. (laughing) - I'm the Ray Romano gnome. (laughing) - Ray Romano. - Romano. - Nice. (laughing) - Nice. - Nice air. - Someone write that down. (laughing) - Hi everyone, sorry I didn't update sooner. I had a lot of abusive messages, which made me not want to post anymore. But I also know there are people here genuinely curious and supportive. To answer common questions, I have checked the monoxide detector twice and even replaced it. We are safe and that is not it. We also have no dishwasher. We don't take sleeping pills or any drugs. As I stated a couple days ago, we searched our flat and my husband's parents adjoining house with some friends. Here's the weird part. Sorry, okay. (laughing) Yep. Husband's parents adjoining house with some friends. So the parents and some friends live in the adjoining house. - Okay. - Okay. - I just thrown it out there. - Maybe that's-- - Here's the weird part. Our area is clear as expected. We don't have an attic or basement, but we also searched the house connected while his parents are away in the UK for a while. Turns out the upstairs loft had an old mattress which looked used despite being left as a spare. Bottles of what looks like pee and some empty rafters, et cetera, nobody was up there, but we alerted police who came to check it out. They helped us call a locksmith and searched the house completely and our apartment and found nothing. We hope whoever it was isn't able to come back. I think this will be my last update unless there's some more updates or if the person returns. Sorry, this person, I love this person. So there's not gonna be any more updates unless there's some updates. (laughing) And we're like, you got it, man. - You got it, dude. - You got it, man. (laughing) - That's a little of the sentence. I think this will be my last update unless there's some more update. That explains everything, but also like, except for the gnome, where she's like, "Well, someone got this from this." Like, is it that common where people are like, "Yeah, you have gnomes, but like, "what was this about someone yelling day?" (laughing) Okay. - She's like, "You got gnomes, but what's all this?" All of her stuff. - It's like, "Well, husband and I, "we don't do drugs except the one night "we saw the gnome." (laughing) - We don't do drugs, just salvia and it's totally true. - And just that one night, we saw that gnome anyway. (laughing) - And guess what? - Update. - Number four? So she added an update, so she updated. - Yes! - You're killing me. - Someone said she said she'd do it and she did it. - Oh, okay. - Our friend sent us a few pictures from the loft. The mattress which used to be new, a few trash bags and empty cans, as well as what turned out to be woman's underwear that thankfully wasn't mine. Men's clothes which aren't my husbands and a couple used condoms which is unsettling. We are guessing it's probably a male pervert who has a thing for underwear and watching which is the worst outcome. I doubt I'll have any other updates after this one. Fingers crossed, this keeps whoever it was out. But police have said if we see anyone loitering or in the house slash apartment again, to call and they will be arrested, thankfully. Thanks again, everybody. - That is your word, bye. - All right, so that is actually the worst unknown. We would have loved to know. - Yeah. - I would have loved a family of gnomes. - No, say we're also perverts. - All right, so everything effectively was explained. - Everything makes sense. And I feel like you never get this. - The no, boat. - That snake. - That snake. - And snake. - And snake. - She was like, oh yeah, also the snake. It's like you did not tell us about that. - Well, that was not paranormal. That's just like, uh oh. - Oh yeah, you got a snake. - Not like, there wasn't a snake here in 1,000 years old. - The moaning makes sense, the jewelry. It all makes sense, except the numb. - I feel really bad 'cause this sounds like a horrible, horrifying situation. - Yeah. - I do think that the police gave her the equivalent of what she did to us at the end of the story. Like, no updates, unless they're updates and the police are like, well, if the guy intrudes again is in a pervert in your house, you'll call us and then we'll handle it. It's like, yeah. - And what can you do? - You can just be like, all right, well, we looked. - And if. I'm a man-hunt for a pervert. - Just start like clinking two underwears together and see if-- - Have a-- - Underwear underneath a big box with a stick. - Yeah. - And when he goes under there, you pull the stick. - And then boom. - And then he goes, duck season, fire, and then you student as beak is backwards. - All right, we're getting a picture of the snake. - All right. - I don't want pictures of the snake. I don't want pictures of the snake. I don't want pictures of the underwear or the mattress. I want to see the gnome. - The bottle's a piss. - Yeah. - Oh, go back. Wait, slow down. Oh, okay, a snake at the bottom-- My creepy house is playing with me. A snake at the bottom of the stairs. And then there's a snake at the bottom of the stairs. But that's a snake. Like, snakes exist. - No way. - And they will. - They will go into the house. - Snake exists and gnome's done. - Yeah. - What's he planning on doing? He doesn't have legs for the stairs. - Is this the first story? - I'm not-- - We have-- - It's been like a half hour. - I'm not going to read a snake at the bottom. - 30 minutes? - Oh. - Should I read this? I'm using the hairdryer. And I hear what sounded like my husband, again, this time I heard him say, "Filly goose, my nickname." In a high-pitched, sing-songy voice. He does this very often and I felt relief. I opened the bathroom door and I shout, "Thank God, I've been really on edge." No response, nothing. And then after all that, she goes down to the bottom of the stairs and there's a snake at the bottom. I feel like, once again, it sounds like this guy who was potentially living up there was like a creep. - Is this like a whole bit? Are you guys doing a never-ending, really scary story that's not going to stop until the episode? - Oh, no. - 'Cause I'm starting to get a little freaked. - No, no, update. - No. - But we're on, like, seven updates. - All right, but we didn't know we had that one. Okay, we're done. We're done. That's where it was left off. A bunch of creepy stuff happened. They found proof that a guy was living in the-- - What did I just do that? - I was like, "No, no." - You know, it was really random. You can't just do that. - I feel so bad in haunted houses because I love scary stuff, but I'm not easily scared. So usually, like, now we all have masks, but usually I'm just, like, smiling. But I'm like, "Grow, I'm like, I'm just having a great time." - Yeah. - That was so funny. I tried to scare you. (laughing) - Sorry, no, you can't just do that. - Next story? - Move on to our next story. - So Angela can solve freaking out. - Yeah, that's all okay. - Our next story. - Okay, there was another snake. - Our next story. I have gnomes in my house. - No, like, literally. - I'm actually mad about it. - We should do that to Amanda as the second she's back. - Yes! (laughing) - And you're in the episode. - Yes! - Oh, not so much. - Yes, and then we'll just keep going. - Yes, that was a great time, she had fun. All right, okay. This one comes from the subreddit advice. And it came from September of 2020. I think my girlfriend has been trying to get me fired from all my jobs. I'm shaken, please help me. I'm a 24-year-old man and I've been with my girlfriend. Let's call her Janice. She's 29 for two and a half years. I just finished my education where we started dating and I have been doing all sorts of jobs since. Sometimes two at a time. I did this to expand my resume and gather job experience. I worked in cafes, bookstores, a library, a grocery store, and as an English tutor. Most of those jobs lasted about three to five months. My shortest stay was two and a half weeks, my longest eight months. But since I didn't have a hard time applying for new positions, I tried to block it out. Though it was kind of eating me up internally. People called to complain about me. People left bad reviews about me. People used my employee Wi-Fi access to look up sketchy things on the internet under my name. Former employees called to inform them about me, write name and all, and much, much more subtle stuff that I couldn't disprove. But I was too anxious to do anything about it. I just told my girlfriend, she comforted me. She supported me every time I got my life ruined by these people, but I kept going. Though they kept finding me. Fast forward to this week. I currently hold a part-time position at a bakery. I've been working there for two months and a half. It's going okay, but my manager approached me about something regarding our Google reviews. Someone was complaining about an employee and their description of them could only really fit me. It was on a day where we were pretty short of staff, so I could have been the only person in the store on that day for all I know. Anyway, their review contained some pretty elaborate and nasty comments about me. This has happened on one or two of my jobs already. I told my manager that it was all pretty bogus and that someone had a vendetta against me as it has happened before. She believed me and told me that she'll dismiss the comment. On my break, I checked out the review myself. Their username was kind of stupid. I'm not going to type it out here since I still work there. But I'll just call them Mick Burdle, as it was in the same range of sounds kind of fake, but not really. Anyway, I come home but don't tell Janice about it. She had heard it all before, so I didn't see the point complaining about another time I almost lost my position. We chat all as well and she leaves the room. Her phone is on the table, and suddenly, she gets a notification or an email of some sort from Google. I don't remember what it said exactly, but the pop-up read something along the lines of, Mick Burdle, manager has responded to your review. My heart dropped. I've been trying to ignore it since. This was two days ago. It just fits in the picture of bad reviews. It fits in the picture of the phone complaints my workplaces have received about me in the past. It fits in the picture of all the sketchy things I've been fired for. Why would she do that, though? I'm looking for an explanation. This literally can't be. She's the only one. thing keeping me sane. I don't know what to do. Whoa. That freaks me out. I'm like, I'm almost lost at this because. Yeah, it's just like, she's just doing this to him. I've seen a fair amount of like that category of thing where like someone can like, the idea of like, wow, so one person's just going to take it upon themselves to like ruin your life. It's like, yep, like sometimes people can be like that. But they're still dating? They're still dating and she's still comforts him. Well, it's only a couple days since that, since he saw that and so he's flying for something. Yeah, but I mean, like, it wasn't a bad ex or anything. No, she's there together and he's like, talking about her like, oh, she comforts me, she's there for me. Like, this is all great. To be honest, this almost sounds like, and this is not a real sort of like diagnosis or anything. It reminds me of like, Munchausen's Biproxy. Yeah. It does. It does. She's harming him to put him in a vulnerable position where she's then there to comfort him. She's also five years his senior. So like, it could just be like, he just finished school and maybe it's like, oh, he doesn't need you anymore. Well, yes, you do, but yeah, don't worry. Like, oh, that's where we're we're we're not psychologists like that is what I am. But I'm just like, yeah, but I'm just like that reminds me of what I hear about with those things. But it's also reminds me of a Reddit story that I don't know if we've read on here of a woman who found out her boyfriend who is the sweetest guy. She's like, he's so sweet. He's so great. She's like, but I found out that he on Reddit just goes on subreddits and just says horrible shit to women. Like leaves horrible comments to women. And I'm like, you think about this. How often in real life do you meet people that are just that seem great? Like, but you then go online and you see all these horrible comments. You're like, who is leaving these comments? Are they like that in real life? Are they amongst us? Honestly, it's a terrifying aspect of the internet, right? Is that all of us are a little different when we go onto anonymous forums and and can type whatever. Yeah. So like, who what are people doing? It's an it's an awful thing to consider. Yeah. But it's why trust is so important. But this takes it to another level. Yeah. Of like betrayal. You're doing it to me. Yeah. But it's a full thing that people can get away with and do. The internet is such a scary thing. Like, there's so much beauty that comes from the internet, like people connecting, et cetera. But so much power lies in the hand of like every individual, that like, even if one out of 10,000 people is crazy, and vindictive and mean, it's like that one person can have so much of an effect on your life. Yeah. Yeah. And it's it's once again, it goes towards the like being skeptical of what you read on the internet because you don't know who's posting it. Yeah. You don't know who's saying it. And it's so scary that one person can get someone fired from that many jobs. One person could create life on multiple levels and come at you on all sides. That's what's scary about this is like the multiple user names. Yeah. I remember I took a class at UCLA and it was like some type of psychology class or something. And it was all based in like, and this was like in 2017, like, and I can't imagine taking something like this now, but it was like a, it was a class where we got on second life. It was like, yeah. And then we like, yeah, and we, and she had us like, be as different as we could and then kind of as far as we can go there. And then right about the idea that we had a separate life and like what that made me think and the safety I felt being able to do whatever I wanted with no one knowing that was me. Yeah. And it was like, I mean, it was just bare, I mean, it wasn't even that developed of a game, I guess, at the time, but like, like that and just talking about like how no one knew that was me and what that did to my brain. And like, no, I mean, here's the thing. The internet, as we know it, has developed so fast, so powerfully in the past, I mean, five years, every year. Psychologists are understanding of what it's doing to us is not keeping up. We'll know in like 50 years what it's doing to us, but we're always going to find out after the fact, right? And now we have AI talking to us all the time. We have no idea what that's doing to people. But like, this is a, this is an aspect and anonymity does so much to a person. Truly. Like, it does so much to a person. And it's very scary. And clearly, she has the ability to just invisibly. I mean, honestly, and these are stories, though, that go back, like, think about, this is so lame. But I'm thinking Cyrano Bergeriac. I'm thinking like, like, disguises, like in old stories, too, where it's like, I want to become another person. I want to create life that's different than my own. Yeah. And I want to manipulate other people using my pen. It's like, I can control people. I can control his life. My gosh, I never thought about like all those Shakespeare plays. It's like the original catfishing. Yeah. Yeah, I met someone night's dream and basically like catfish. Yeah, like violent Shakespeare was like, this is going to hit in 500 years. All right. Comments, please, for the love of God, do not stay with that woman. She is sick. Who the hell does that to someone they love? Someone replied to that saying, it's like that girl who was putting nicotine patches on her partner every night. So when she left, he would be chemically dependent on her and start going through withdrawal. Did not hear that one. Yeah, it's like that one time. Yeah, it's like that one time with the gnome. Someone said, this is extreme manipulation and abuse. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about you having gone through this for years, losing job after job and being devastated and confused. The worst is you confiding in her and her knowing exactly what she did to you. I really don't understand how anyone can do this to someone they love. Please, OP, for your sake, you need to leave this relationship. Lastly, someone said, OP, this vile mick-murtle is the real version of your girlfriend. The version you love is a fantasy image she used to trap you. Yeah, this is one of those where it's like, I don't think you're going to be able to understand what's going on. Yeah, you can't update. Oh, no. Hello people who are still invested. I'm sorry for not updating you guys earlier. A lot has been going on. First of all, yes, we broke up. That's why I'll be referring to her as my ex from now on. Anyway, let's start from the beginning. On the Monday of the following week, I couldn't take the uncertainty anymore. I told my ex I needed her booking account to book a train ticket to visit my dad for a few days. She complied and when she was in the shower getting ready for work, I booked my ticket and started looking through her emails. After some digging, I found an email to herself which contained a spreadsheet file. I sent the file to myself, printed it out and took a screenshot. Why? The spreadsheet contained about every single information about me that there was, numbers, emails, passwords, work times, colleagues, their numbers and social medias, as well as some emails and passwords that she used for accounts to ruin my life with. Everything was on there, conveniently sorted for her to ruin my life as efficiently as possible. When she left for work, I decided it would be best to immediately pack my stuff. Nothing that mattered would be left behind. I felt like a wanted man, like I was being hunted despite not being seemingly out of place. I called my boss, told her I would be taking some time off from work and headed out to see my dad. Needless to say, he was the sanity I needed. I cried about everything I saw, I panicked for a whole two days straight about how my life was ruined and I didn't know what to do. He had to sleep on the couch in the guest room because I was so scared of my ex coming in. He handled it like a champ, I love you dad. He called the police a lawyer and most recently a therapist for me because I was in the most horrible state of my entire life. We're currently sorting out the legal stuff. I haven't talked to my ex except for letting her know it was over and that she's a sick psychopath. My dad handled the rest. I changed all my passwords and now I'm looking for a new place to live. And that's the last update. So the police lawyer therapy repeat, police lawyer therapy repeat. Yeah, call the avengers on your ex. I like, I don't know, I'm sure all of us have experienced levels of like breaches of trust that sort of shake you for a while. I don't know how you process that. Yeah. Yeah, this makes cheating look like nothing. Like I'm like, oh, dude, why couldn't you just sleep with someone else? I mean, God damn, like I'm scared for this person. You're terrified. And not just OP. I mean, I'm scared for this like this person is because that's behavior that that doesn't stop. No, they're not like lesson learned. No, it's one of those words like do everything you can because this person needs to be like something needs to happen. Yeah. And it's not even that. Like this could follow specifically him for years. I it could that's where my head's out where I'm like, I'd be more scared of you being my ex. Like you need to be my ex. But I'm now terrified forever. Yeah, this is what she did when she liked you. So yeah, no, no, it's like one of those types of extreme abuse that it's going to get worse when you stop it. Yeah. And a lot of people are like all they can do is rely on loved ones to thank God. OP had their dad. Yeah. Like you just need people around you. And that's just so it's so hard and horrifying. I can't imagine. I would probably do the same thing as him. I think, no, this is such a unique position, right? I've never heard of anything like this. But what I've also heard the advice given in situations where it's like you need to get out is like before you they know that you're getting out, get everything in order. Yeah. And so if if I was his friend and he told me about this, I'd be like, change all your passwords, change all your information. And then clean sweep get out. No, I mean, that's a lot of abusive. That is that is like the best advice that I would have given him. But also at the same time, you have to get out. And even if it's worse when you get out, it's like you have like. If you stay, you know what's gonna happen. Isn't that kind of what he did? He was like, I'm gonna book a train ticket to see my dad, and then he's like, I got there and changed all my password. - I think he basically did that. Yes, he did, he did effectively do that. And I think it worked out 'cause she didn't know that he was. So I think that is effectively what he did. - It's kind of just, but it's about the point where it's like an abuser at this level is going to get set off so bad when you catch them. - Yes. - And they're gonna double down or come in in another way. And it's like, you gotta protect yourself. - Yeah, and fortunately they're not married, right? 'Cause I know people say that about like, get the like, get the papers together first, and then let them know because, but this is so unique and it's like terrifying 'cause she's, she is smart. She had a whole spreadsheet with all the information. I mean, what an awful such, I would rather have every ghost. - I was about to say like, I wish this was ghosts. - I'll take ghosts every time. - See, I don't know if I could. I will take ghosts every time. - Ghost can't use Excel, so you'd be unclear. - Ghost can't make spreadsheets. I've never heard of a haunted spreadsheet. - But I can block a person. I can't block a ghost. - I'm gonna be real honest. I would be skeptical if I can block this person. This person seems terrifying. - No, you're so right. - I hope it's been five years. I hope this person's doing well. I hope their ex is, I hope their ex is face repercussions. I hope their ex, or has miraculously learned to be a better person. - Yeah. - Died. (laughing) Or died. This next one comes from Emma of the asshole. Would I be the asshole for telling my sister about her husband's creepy AF novel about me? My sister, four years younger than me, and her husband had been married for two years, together for five. Brother-in-law and I dated during high school, and it ended under circumstances that were not ideal. Brother-in-law and I have not gotten along since he and sister got together. My sister essentially believes I'm jealous of her for marrying my one who got away. He is not that. So our relationship has also suffered as a result. This whole situation is already fucked up, and yes, I'm pretty sure it's putting my therapist's kid through college, but that's not the problem right now. Recently, Brother-in-law has begun reaching out to me more frequently. I've been very cautious, but after talking it over with people in my own life, chose to be more friendly toward him as part of an attempt at repairing certain aspects of my relationship with the entire family. Last week, Brother-in-law asked if I would read a book he had written with the underlying implication that I would help him career-wise with his aspirations as a writer. Out of politeness and curiosity, I said sure, thinking I would perhaps get a good laugh out of it, and a story to tell my publishing friends. The book is about us. [LAUGHTER] I don't know how else to put it. It's a domestic thriller. So think gone girl, you, et cetera. About a man who realizes he has married the wrong sister and becomes obsessed with his sister-in-law. Sugar water. Sorry. It's one of the weirdest things I have ever seen. It doesn't exactly read like a manifesto, or like something you'd see on our men writing women. [CHANTING] But aspects of the story were deeply unsettling to me personally, touching on things that happened to me in high school and later. And I don't understand why he would give this to me to read unless he wanted to either creep me out or, as in the story, he intends to leave my sister and wanted to see if this would. Oh, Jesus, it's too weird to say. Open a door with me. [CHANTING] I'm the scout, man. And I was like, I can't find it. But I'm so uncomfortable, I have to scout. The Angela Girochanna story. [CHANTING] She couldn't jazz, but she just had to. This man makes me scout. Well, keep going. No, don't say it like that. That's the end of the clip. Nice. OK, perfect button. Here's how I'm conflicted. People have always used art as a form of cathartic healing. If a stranger handed me this book, I would just say, not my taste and move on. That said, this is my sister's husband, and I found certain elements so skin-crawlingly uncomfortable that I almost didn't finish it. That also said, this is my sister's husband. And I am afraid, based on the past, that if I tell her about this, she will flip out on me and not him. And/or if she confronts him, will he also just lie about the whole thing? And on the off chance that it's more than just tasteless catharsis, I don't want my sister to get turned into a skin suit. There are no skin suits, but you get it. And if it is just a fictional fantasy thriller, I'll either look like a paranoid asshole or the lawmakers who tried to ban video games after call and bind. I-- I don't say this ever, so it's not even in my vocabulary. But when she was like, here's when I'm conflicted. I almost went, honey. I'm like, it just-- come on. Yeah, I-- no, there's no like, oh, well, I'm conflicted here. It's like, no, this is wild. I mean, I don't blame OP for not really fully being grounded in a response, because this is so dangerous. Because you're not expecting the same with the previous story. Yeah. These are situations that you don't expect to happen to you, right? And you don't expect your brain to have a logical and safe response to something this scary. You're also probably kind of hoping that someone in the comments is like, oh, no, this is actually totally normal. Don't worry about it in a weird way. You're like hoping, yeah. Because once again, similar to Reddit stories where someone writes out something, because like, getting your thoughts out, getting your fantasies out, getting all these things into a diary setting, where you write it all out, and then you read it, and you go, oh, right, this is irrational. Oh, right, this is stupid. Yeah. But he wrote a book about all of this, and then was like, I want you to read this. I-- You know how much work goes into a book? This is too calculated. Too much time has gone by. This is a dead serious situation. And what sucks about this is that her sister's collateral damage here, right? And she's worried about their relationship. And honestly, if her sister doesn't ever back here, she did not-- Then just go. But get out, get out of here. You got to give her sister the book and go, you can read this. If you don't think this is as serious as I do, then you don't have to talk to me. You can't make that decision for, like, you've got to give her the tools to be like-- Like, I'm showing you this book, not because I'm jealous, or in love with your husband. I'm showing this book because it's the other way around. It's a pure-- And I'm getting away no matter what. And if you don't believe me, I can't stop you from-- I don't know. Some comments here. I don't have a judgment here, but have you thought about asking him if your sister has read it and/or asking her? Oh, he says, he says she hasn't read it, but I could potentially ask her in an innocuous way in order to broach the subject. Someone said, not the asshole. I would handle it differently, though. Find a way to meet them when they are together, and then tell him you really liked the book. Then ask her if she has read any of it. She will obviously say no. Then tell the story in the most optimistic way possible. Try to get the fuck out before someone gets emotional. Good luck. This shit is weird as hell. I don't think that's-- I don't know. I'm taking that advice. That's very right. And then I stood up. And everyone's like, don't say you liked it to him. Don't say you liked it. That's not true. Someone said, I think it would fall under not the asshole. But your relationship with your sister is already strained. If you are serious about trying to salvage your relationship with her, I would keep this bomb away from her. Comedy option. Read it. Read it. A silly one from mom. A silly option. She literally mentioned, oh, I saw brother-in-law's manuscript. How do you got any offers for it? Okay. Oh, he said, I'm 50% leaning towards your serious option and 50% leaning in the direction of if she finds this on his laptop/email and then finds out I knew about it, she will be rightfully infuriated. A bomb is right. I don't know, man. Like, he-- It's his fault. Yeah. He's the bad guy. Yeah. And I'm sorry that your sister is on her side despite the clear, obvious one signs that were there since high school? That's the other thing too, with the high school. She didn't get into specifics and it's none of our business. But the way she made it sound, she was like, it did not end on good terms. We are not friendly. And it's like, we don't know what happened. And if she even has felt safe this whole time, like, this is creepy no matter what, but she needs to be safe. Yes. Yeah, yeah. If the sister doesn't believe it, like, I hope that's salvageable, but different. I feel bad for the sister too. Yeah. But I know that it's got to be an awful situation and it's awful in relationships to like, here's someone else say, yeah, your partner's awful. And to be like, you don't want to believe that. Right. You don't want to believe that. Right. All you want to believe is that it's being brought to you, like, and just kind of killing the messenger because you hate the message so much. Right. And that sucks. Right. Absolutely. And you look back and you're like, oh, I saw Ali. Especially something so egregious, as like, oh, they wrote a book about me sexually. It's like, no, yeah. And like, I can't handle that. I can't handle that. Yeah. My partner did that. And I almost, I almost, like, humanized the sister getting angry. I know it's not right. But like, yeah, the other sister, the whole book is about her. But I'm starting to think, like, I would even believe that this, that her sister's marriage [BLANK_AUDIO] is all not real. Or like all-- - That is the obligation, sure. - And that, like, what a bomb for both of them. Like, that hurl life is, yeah, I don't know. - You're right, there's so many layers of it because like, when it's something that big, you don't necessarily know where to stop or it's like, oh man, what a betrayal. And it's like, what if it goes this much deep through? - Yeah, it's like, you gotta, I'm not trying to like, measure the pain, but like the book versus like, this is her husband. - Yeah. - Yes. - Like, this is gonna turn her upside down. - Oof, oof is right. - There's no more updates on that one. - 'Cause like our girl said, a couple OPs before, no update because there isn't an update. - Yeah. - Or all update when I have an update. - Yeah, seriously. I hope they're okay. - Me too. - Man, that sucks. - Spooky, scary. - Scarletons. - Am I overreacting for thinking my psychiatrist asking to move in with me is inappropriate. - Oh, buddy, no. No, you're not. - So last week I had an appointment with my psychiatrist and I had disclosed to her that my husband and I were buying a house. She asked for details of the house. And when we were closing, so I told her, she then replied with, that's perfect. I just need one bedroom and a kitchen. I like to cook. Of course, at first I thought she was joking. But then she went on. She goes, I told my landlord I am moving out of my current place because the commute is too far and I am looking for something close to work. Would you be willing to rent a room out to me? She then showed me text threads with her current landlord who was praising her for being a good tenant. I kind of brushed it off and said, well, I don't know about a room, but the place we are renting now will be available once we move out. And she said that would be nice, but she was looking for something cheaper. As our session ended, she told me to call her if I needed her and then she said, but I might need you first. Now my husband thought it was funny when I told him my best friend thinks this woman should not be a psychiatrist. I have had previous uncomfortable encounters with her where she told me my miscarriages happened because I wasn't happy enough. And this most recent session she told me it's because my baby knew that we didn't own a home yet. Am I overreacting thinking that this person is wildly inappropriate? I don't know if you're seeing a psychiatrist. You might be seeing a demon ghost. (laughing) - You missed the paranormal one. - Why, please give me a ghost. - We're supposed to get it happen again. It really happened again, guys. Someone was talking about one spooky thing and then they used something even spookier to describe the behavior and then moved on. 'Cause that is so fucking terrifying that thing about the children. - I sometimes, you know what I feel like, okay. You know what I feel like happens? I don't think this is discussed often. I feel like sometimes people bring to like a friend or to an accomplice. They bring like, hey, this thing happened and it's the mild thing. - Because they're kind of scared. - In telling the mild, because it's kind of like putting your toe in the water. It's like it's like, yeah, so my this person said this stupid thing and yeah, I mean, obviously they said this others. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I kind of feel like that happens. And that almost feels like her writing it out. Being like, yeah, it's kind of weird and yeah, this other stuff happened too. And it's kind of putting like, it's allowing her to process. - No, for sure. - 'Cause like, oh my god. - I think the brain is funky with how it takes care of itself. - I like it a lot. - I like it a lot, thanks. - A little gnome. - I think sometimes it like presses down the stuff that's even worse. And that's just like survival, I guess. - When talking to my therapist about something once, I like went on a little tangent in the middle of the story and like continued on and she actually went, oh my god. And I was like, oh, what? Oh, that was bad, huh? (laughing) Yeah, I guess that was pretty bad. But anyway, back to the thing I met, but like to make your therapist stop and go like, oh, I was like, like dissociation is real. - Yeah. Horrible people do manage to get degrees and licensed. - Every day. - It does happen. Plenty. Should we trust professionals? Yes, but also it is a doctor and getting second opinions and third opinions is very smart. And if you think about it. - And if you think about it. - And they're saying anything like that, which is also not based in any sort of science. - The person in charge of your brain meds. - Yeah, it's like, you could be like, I'm gonna go see a different psychiatrist. - See? It's why we give him the iPad, folks. (laughing) - I feel like it's, I feel like I say the most common sense things. - No, but you have to say that. - You're the most basic things, just to establish a ground ground. - Oh, I wasn't making fun of you at all. I said, I thought you did that very well done. Where it's like, we shouldn't like, yeah, people have degrees and stuff, but you need second opinions, especially when it gets like that. - Can I, can I make a wild comparison? - Yeah, it reminds me of when I was doing really bad at math in fifth grade. I was behind math like horribly. And so my parents were like, we're gonna take you and put you in CUMON, the like math learning program. And I go and like, by this time in fifth grade, we're doing like long division and stuff. But I go and I'm like, all right, like I'm gonna start doing math 'cause apparently I suck at it. But then like, all right, great. And I get my first package and it's truly zero plus zero. And I remember being like, this is an insult. Come on, guys. - Yeah. - No, we start you at literally the basic ground level. And like the reason we do that is because if you missed something at very base level, it's gonna mess you up all the way to the top. And so it's like, if you somewhere along the line thought two plus three equals six, that's messing you up here. - Wow. - And I don't even know where I caught that I did mess up, but I went from being behind to being in the advanced program in like five years. - Wow, that? - And so, and like I was doing like crazy. I did stuff in sixth grade in Kumon that I never hit in college. - Wow. - Like I was doing crazy shit. Just 'cause like they just, they're like, all right, now you can move and now you figured it all out. And I was like, I don't know what I missed, but I missed something that was so basic. But it's kind of why it is important to like establish these ground rules. Like 'cause another example that we see in Reddit stories is like, it's like a toilet etiquette, right? Where people are like, oh yeah, like we have a poop knife. And that's normal and everyone has it. And it's like, no we don't, but like you, because we don't talk about these basic level things, you know what I'm saying? - Wow, I mean that's really wise, Shane. Now I'm thinking about that for like even people with relationships. We're like, go back and, and, and, and a fundamental age in like an early relationship you were treated a certain way that made you believe something about your worth. - It's that you, it was a learning curve that you never healed. - It's, it's why people will like, you'll hear something so atrocious said to someone. And they'll just be like, fine with it. And it's like, it's like, you know that was bad, right? And they'll be like, no, it's like, did you, somewhere along in your life, you learned that that was actually okay. It's so common knowledge that that's bad, what they said. But in our learning, we miss these very, very basic things. It's so important to like establish the baseline. - Yeah, or, it's boring. - Or we learned that like that happened to you and your body has to keep going and pushes down. - Totally. - Protects you by doing it. - Totally, and we all have that. - Yeah. - We all have the blind spots. But this person thought it was okay that the psychiatrist said that to them. - 'Cause they are an authority figure. And if you're not used to it, like if you hear something like that, even if you think it's a little bit off, like everything they've said so far to you has been something you've taken as the truth. Like, I do need that medication. That is a good way to treat things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The baby thing is weird, but okay, you know. It's also the tough balance of like, we have such a distrust of science and medicine nowadays. But you also, you need to find that healthy balance of trusting your own judgment while also trusting the judgment around you. But that's why it's like it's always okay to go get second opinions. It's always okay to go to another professional. - Yeah, yeah. - Anyways, let's move into the verdict, which is not overreacting, obviously. Comments, is she even a licensed therapist? Yes, this is a massive violation of your personal and professional relationship. Does she work on her own or part of a group of therapists at the office? If she works for a group, I would call up and ask to speak to a manager. I would ask for a different therapist or a referral to a different office. Tell them the story about what happened. So what else said, are you a recovering people pleaser? Perhaps she was testing your ability to set boundaries? Aside from that, it's definitely weird, though, and if she's being 100% serious, it's worth reporting to be honest. O.P. said, I am a people pleaser, but I haven't been seeing her very long, so I'm not sure she would be testing me, but I don't really know. - A good therapist shouldn't be testing you. - Yeah, I know, that's not how it works. - I'm just gonna say that. - That's not how it works at all. - The only test is how much you can make your therapist laugh so you become their favorite. - And that's me every time. - Yes. - Not because I'm making them laugh, but I try to just-- - You gotta be the favorite. - I gotta be the favorite. - Someone said, psychologist here, wildly inappropriate and unprofessional. She needs to be reported to her board licensing agency, bosses if she has them. To your insurance company, et cetera. And you need to find a new doc stat. So sorry this happened to you. She should not have done that. Update, I am reporting her and switching providers. Thanks for all the comments. - Great. - Thank God. (upbeat music) And there's no horror movie because you did the right steps. - Update, I went back to our office and she hadn't been there for 20 years. - What? All that I saw was a little snake and a little hat. - And a little no. - And my sink is soapy. - Yeah, my sink is a little soap. - And the sink is still calling me babe. - I mean, I feel like I hear nightmare therapist stories a lot these days 'cause I think it's the thing, you just got a triple double check. You got a, you're putting that person's inherently in a place of power or like a manipulative possible. I don't know. - Also, to be clear, four therapists and psychiatrists. I mean, I don't know about psychiatrists but therapists. Therapists aren't actually supposed to be telling you what to do. They are supposed to guide you and ask the right questions and help you figure it out. If you have a therapist that's going, you need to break up with your boyfriend or obviously moving in with them is wildly a breach. But it's okay to be skeptical. I think therapy is so important. It's so huge. It's wildly expensive. So I understand why a lot of people can't do it. But if you're able to, it's also okay to be like, "You know what, this therapist, "I'm not feeling it." You are allowed to keep going to new therapists, like keep trying it out. But like, have that healthy balance of, "Am I right? "What am I feeling?" I think the best way to do that is to like talk to other people, like this person did want to read it. So it's important to just like talk to others. Absolutely, yeah. Absolutely. Communications key. Diversify. Similar to stocks and bonds. You also diversify your network and get everyone's opinions and feelings on things. And feelings all things. Bitcoin of emotion. Well, spooky. It's really scary. Whoa, NFTs are back. Jane, if he sold Bitcoin. Ooh. Put everything in a high yield money market of, you know, treasury bonds. Would you like to say something? You guys feel like today's been seven years? Yeah, dude. That's the no matter what. I'm going to, you want to know something scary? We shot the Try Not To Laugh Smoshmouth episode. I don't know when that airs. I want to say four hours. But no. Oh, no. We filmed it hours ago, but it aired like a month and a half ago. And that's scary. But we filmed that today. So we filmed that hours ago. So imagine the head space we're in. Because if you haven't watched that, go back and watch that now. You're going to be like, what? It's insane. And Angela and I specifically, we were both nap takers. You guys took a nap. I walked out and you guys were asleep. And I go, ready for Reddit stories? You want to move? Yeah. And in between them play a little game. Oh, we do it here. That's true. Our next story comes from relationship advice. This is a 22-year-old boyfriend, 19-year-old girlfriend. My boyfriend won't stop curling my hair in my sleep. Oh. OK. Just a little serial killer behavior. You smell different when you sleep. My boyfriend is curling my hair in my sleep. Yeah. How do I confront him? Yeah. My boyfriend has always been interested in my hair. And he likes to watch me curl it, et cetera. And he started asking me to curl it just subtle hints at the beginning, which then evolved. After this going on for a few weeks, it progressed and he became more pushy about it, resulting in lots of arguments. These got progressively worse for a few months. Then recently, probably about two weeks ago, I noticed strands of my hair were curled when I woke up in the morning. I've also noticed my curlers have been moved around and are slightly warm when I go to use them. At first, I didn't think much and just put it down to my erratic sleeping habits. But my hair gets progressively more curly every time it happens. I don't know how to confront him about this as when I tried, he denied and became extremely agitated. Oh. If anyone has had similar experiences and/or some advice, please share. Not similar, but I've got advice. Yeah. Get out of there. Oh. Get it done. Yeah. Done deal, man. It's kind of like what you're saying about like not knowing the baseline. Like 19 to 22. I'm assuming that this is probably the first, maybe in the first couple of like-- Yeah. Oh, it's a boyfriend that I can actually like stay over the night with whatever, like is it normal that he gets kind of mad about that? It's like not bodily autonomy. You didn't consent to any of that. Time to go. Yeah, I think. This is bad. Yeah. I think I thought we heard the worst today. This is the worst. I hate this. I think this man needs to go away and take a long shower and really-- oh, I hate him. Yeah. No. She said no. Yeah. It's not your body. Go away. Sorry. No, don't be sorry. No, this is-- I feel like this case cut and dried and curled. No, no, no, just cut and dried. No. Yeah. Awful. Comments. I don't know what else to say. Comments. What? Next stop, comment. What? It's at the top of this. I was like, oh, I don't want to like kinkshame if he's like in the girls. But she said no. Yeah. And then-- He's a hot tool. You're-- I can't. It's cold, Emily. [LAUGHTER] Well, cold curl? She doesn't want to do that. She's like a little cold curl. You know, he got-- he has a little cold curl for the name of the guy, a cold curl. A little-- No, this is-- This guy's got to go. Read a book. Yeah, can I get a hamburger, a shake, and can I get a side of some cold curls? [LAUGHTER] We have some curly fries from yesterday. Why do you call them that? I'm like, you know what I want. [LAUGHTER] All right, comments. Every day, I think I cannot be surprised by this app and every day I am proven wrong. Me too. Me too. It is shocking. Up, up, vote. Someone said, I'm thinking of her dead asleep when he sneakily curls her hair with a comb or hot iron. And it seems hilarious to me, not to her though. This is definitely wild. Lastly, someone said, if he became agitated when you tried to confront him, I'd say this should be the end of the relationship. He is clearly aware that you don't want him to do this, but now does it when you're asleep. Absolutely without your consent, he could be doing other things without your consent. Yes. Even if he isn't right now, he could get bolder as he knows you can sleep through the hair curling. Yeah, like this is so quirky of a weird thing, but at the end of the day, it's just not respect. And it's like, we talked about this before with the stories where someone is like, someone does something to them when they're asleep or like, you know, like, the person goes sleeping under the -- Yeah. Like, it's just your safe space. And it's like, I just, like, this guy's got to go just like, curl his own fucking hair. Yeah. He shoved the curling iron up his throat. Like, and he switched that mid-set. Yeah. So, just curling iron. He's just shoved that curling iron right up into the drawer and put it away. [ Laughter ] All right, we're cutting all that anyway. All right. All right. There's nothing else to say on that one. Yeah. That's so scary. That is awful. All right. Our last story. Please be a ghost. Come on. I like just wanted to be a gnome and not a stupid idiot. No more just creepy dudes. [ Laughter ] This last one is a today, I fucked up. And now I'm dead and haunting, thank you. Today I fucked up by being a horny, 21-year-old and not realizing how scary a girl actually was. Girls are scary. So I've heard. Can you just read that again? So clearly got himself into a situation because he's like, "Oh, I can get laid, but not realizing she's probably like a vampire or something." Okay. I hope so. I hope so. Okay. So this story happened as this story was posted four years ago, but it happened five years prior. He's talking about a story from five years. Okay. Oh, Miss Vivi Bay. Yes. I had been seeing this girl for a couple of weeks, pretty casual, but she was really fun and funny. If not a bit intense. After a few weeks, she starts referring to me as her boyfriend and talking about meeting her parents. I'm not feeling it, but being a douchey, 21-year-old, I go with it because she's having sex with me. So it all comes to a head one night when she pulls me into a room off of her bedroom. Layed out on the floor are dozens, if not hundreds, of pictures of her. And I'm not talking about sexy pictures, which would still be weird, but regular pictures of her, pictures with her family, her friends from high school. Definitely one Christmas card with her whole ass family on it. She then proceeds to ask me to have sex with her right there. Shit was creepy, so I left real fast after I finished. Oh. Okay. Moving on. After regaling some friends with that bizarre tale, they were pretty sure she was cursing me or stealing my soul. I cut it off with her and she proceeded to come by my work daily for hours and stare at me. What's that? That went on for a couple of months before we banned her. After that, she would send me messages on Facebook about how we were meant to be together and how much she loved me. I'd get a message every couple of months before I eventually blocked her. Haven't seen or heard from her in years. Thank God. She's just gotten better at hiding, dude. Yeah. Back. So the pictures were on the ground and they got sex on top of the pictures of her? Yes. She just didn't have any rose petals. She's like, "How are these polaroids, I guess, of me and my friends?" Oh, God. And they're just like normal pictures like, "Yeah. That's what's weird is." Oh, that's. I didn't. That made that. Yeah. Also, like family Christmas card is rough. Like, come meet my parents and like, "Hi, Rick." That's really weird. Oh, God. Oh, my God. I wonder if that was like a spell. If you have sex with someone on top of pictures of them and their life. You need to counter curse some of some kind. Yeah, he needs to jack off completely by himself. He's like, "That's it? Oh, thank God. I think I've already broken that curse for like 12 times." That's all I had to do. That was easy. But fool, you'll never learn. The counter. Oh, what are you doing? Oh, God. Oh, that. Whoa. That's a cold curl right there. Stop that! That's a gnome right there. Oh, I feel bad for him. That's scary. Just really scary. Just really scary. Okay, but it's been five years and he hasn't seen her. What if his work? Is that a. Is that a mortuary? I love that the top comment in quotation is, "Left so damn fast, I almost didn't have sex." That's a good reddit comment. That's a good reddit comment, right there. Good, good, good, good, good, good, good. Thank you for the gold kind stranger. (laughing) Someone said, after a few months, you had this as a daily occurrence for hours on end for months before you banned her. Coming to his work and staring at her, and it took months to ban her. I understand some workplaces, that's just how it goes. She might buy something, I don't know. Someone said, "My theory is the OP did get their soul stolen. OP is actually the girl who completed the ritual "to steal his life, and the girl stalking him after "is a original OP trying to get his body back." Yup, yup, dude. I was thinking that, I was literally thinking like, what if it keeps like, what if someone sees him later and someone's like, "No, someone had sex with you "and you had photos." He's like, "What do you mean?" Oh, it's like this is a follows situation. Oh, dude. This is way better than what they wrote. (laughing) Whoa! Yeah! This, this was a lot today. (laughing) That was a lot. I think, I think ghouls got up their game. Because ghouls need to start these. We're all scary for sure, and I'm glad we had a gnome in there. That's awesome. But like, a lot of creepy people, not a creepy people. Nothing scarier than trauma. Turns out that people are still the scariest thing in the universe. And so is Reddit. Black holes second place. There are planets where it rains, molten glass forever. (laughing) That's kind of gorgeous. It's just happening over there. (laughing) Don't you, is that a ghost? It's over there. Don't worry about it. It's over there. He's not here. It's over there. It's over there. It's in Disney World, dude. They can't even come here. They can't even mirror anything. They're under contract, they can't. (laughing) Walt had his ducks in a row with the occult. Well, are you guys scared? Yes. Yes. Me too. Today was, yeah, this was a very scary Reddit story. It was, yeah. Thanks for hanging out. Thanks for having us. No problem. Powering through it. And thank you for watching. Let us know if there's any gnomes under your bed. Yeah. Are you in Spain? Is it a normal occurrence? Yeah, what's the deal with gnomes? I'd love that, by the way. And-- Even if it was the art department. Yeah, did they make that? They made that? They made this. Damn. Whoa. Awesome. I literally love it. Oh, guys, what if we name it? What? Or we can just send a video. Let's say it. (laughing) That's right. Thanks for coming. Bye. Bye, see you next Saturday.