Raise The Red Flag | Reading Reddit Stories

- Hello, and welcome to Smoky. (laughing) - Oh my God. Oh, that was awesome. (laughing) - Is that a red flag? - That was really good. - Hello, and welcome to Smoshreads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today, we are doing red flags. That's right, and I'm joined by two. No, I'm joined by one red flag and one green flag. (laughing) Who is who, Trevor and Courtney? - Red what? What did you call me? - Red flag. (gasps) - I said something else. - Don't. (laughing) - Shane, why would you can't say that? (laughing) You can't say that white baby. - Why are you red flagged? - Red flagged. - Red one standing by, and you're like splice it. - Sorry, so sorry. - Hi, how's it going? - Good, I'm ready to read. - Well, you're not reading. I'm reading. - Well, I'm ready to read O'Pita fell. (laughing) - I'm ready to practice my active listening skills. - I think the red flag episodes are sometimes some of my favorites. - And I think it's just a funny energy in the office in the studio today, 'cause we've been working from home a lot and moving the studio, so I've forgot how to person a little bit. - I have two. Yeah, I was reading a book the other night. I was like, oh, I really need to read, 'cause I'm not reading Reddit stories. So, what if when we filmed the next episode, I forgot to read. - He forgot how to read. - Bro, there's a couple of ways with that Reddit stories. - You get into a flow with reading. When you don't read for a while, you start reading. And I'm like, I read really slow when I haven't read for a while. And I got to like-- - You reading really slow out loud is crazy. - I was just like, my boyfriend, imagine if that was how it was. All right, so we're gonna read stories. They're gonna have possible red flags. Maybe some green flags. And you guys have red flags and green flags that you can hold up when you feel the signs. What if I don't want to? You don't have to. Cool. You can do whatever you want, technically. - Green flag, he's letting you do what you want. - Green flag. - Yeah. All right, we're gonna hop into it. - All right, reader boy. - Whoa. - Let's see it. - Here's breeder's, and here's breeder's. (laughing) - Which one are you? - And I've got a lot of books. - Okay, here we go. Our first red flag story. This comes from Relationship Advice. It was posted in July of 2024. This is a 24 year old woman writing. She goes, "My boyfriend, who's 25, told me "that snacking on mozzarella cheese balls "might be a deal breaker. "What should I do?" - I'm gonna do an early flag raise here. - Yeah. - You and snacking on mozzarella cheese balls gross. - No, no, the red flag is that he's telling her that's come on, bro. - Look, I can get down with a little mozzarella cheese ball, but please continue. - Yeah, we're at half mass. - Any sort of, I'll see. - I know, I know we're in silly territory still, but-- - Please slide down. (laughing) - Okay, all right, we must hear this. - Throw away a count because my boyfriend knows my personal reddit account. Red flag. Hey, reddit, so I'm in a very weird situation and I don't know how to proceed. I'm hoping to get some insight from people who don't know us personally because this is really embarrassing for me. So to preface, I'm a cheese lover. I absolutely adore cheese and it's my favorite snack. My number one cheese has got to be mozzarella, specifically ball-shaped mozzarella. The texture and flavor are so good, especially with a little salt sprinkled. I buy those Bel Gioso packs of mozzarella balls and they have been my snack of choice since I was a freshman in college. They were easy and convenient to keep in my mini fridge for a quick, cheap, and easy bite. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years now and we recently moved in together. He's known about my love for cheese since our first date. He took me to a restaurant and we ordered like three charcuterie boards, L-O-L. - Slay. - I don't think he knew what he was getting into with my snacking and he probably didn't expect to see me eat mozzarella balls on the daily. I thought he was fine with it, but now he's making an issue out of it and I don't know if I should stop. His specific issue is the shit. (laughing) His specific issue is the shape of the cheese. - Oh, sorry. - I was thinking a million other things before the shape of the cheese being the issue. He tells me that seeing me eat ball-shaped cheese makes him uncomfortable. He says that it is lued and that, and I clothe. (laughing) Trevor is deflating. (laughing) - Bro, it is lued. - It's lued. - Brother, that's a you problem. If you're seeing your girlfriend eat mozzarella cheese balls and you're getting a little bricked up, like that's yeah, brother. - Okay, oh my God. He says seeing me pop a wet cheese ball in my mouth makes him think of me having another man's balls in my mouth. Yeah. - Huh? (laughing) - I was really confused and I told him that I don't think this is that big of a deal and that it's literally cheese, but he told me the imagery still grosses him out. I thought we could work through this, but after a while, he said it might be a deal breaker if I don't stop. - What? - Afterwards, he left for work. - And she's like, okay, fine. I won't have that. Anyways, I'm gonna eat this banana round. He's like, no! - Yeah, what the hell? - What about that dog? - No. - Does he allow to wear cleavage around the house? Like what is happening? - Yeah. During the argument, he said he doesn't care if I eat mozzarella cheese, but he just wants me to eat it string or shredded instead. I know this is so high maintenance of me, but mozzarella balls are just my favorite snack. The texture, the taste, it's just so good. I like shredded cheese and string cheese, but they just aren't the same. I'm thinking I should maybe buy the smaller mozzarella balls that Belgeoso sells, and hope they won't bother him. But if I feed into this, could it reinforce this mindset he has? I don't know what to do. I wanna make him comfortable, but this feels really controlling and unnecessary. Not to mention, I don't really wanna give up on my favorite snack. He's a great guy, and I know this post isn't doing him justice, but I just wanna know if this is a red flag from him, or if putting my foot down on this is unreasonable. Thank you in advance to anyone who reads this and offers me some advice. By the way, this is not an ad for Belgeoso. (laughing) Unless Belgeoso, you wanna hit us up. And send me some mozzarella balls. Of like the sizes of Belgeoso, mozzarella balls, 'cause I've seen the big, I've seen the big, and I've seen the lead. Yeah, they make the little pearl ones, and those ones they put in like the sauce. They'll put them in like an olive oil, like a salted olive oil type stuff. I won't lie, when I'm at the grocery store, they have those big balls of mozzarella cheese, I imagine biting into them every time I see them. Like an apple. Oh yeah, I love mozzarella cheese. It's so good, but it's basically like, it's as not cheese as it gets. You know what I mean? Like, it's basically cream. I'm just trying to understand, so how small is this man's ball? Or how small does he think other man's balls are? Do you think there's an average size of balls? I just like, if I see my girlfriend eating cheese and my first thought is another man's balls, I think that's a me problem. That's one thousand million percent. Yeah, that's the way I jump straight to cleave is, you guys are probably like, whoa, whoa. But it's like, yeah, what is she, what's, that is how, well, I have a kind of sound alone. It's his brain making it sexual. Yeah. She's eating cheese. He's going, that's another man's balls. Yeah, and he's wanting something of his own balls. Yeah, it's your balls. Yeah, he could be getting horny and being like, "Mmm, this could be my balls." And it could be like a hot thing for him. Who up getting a balls bit? Who up getting it? I'm just imagining you eating another man's balls. Like, bro, and what line do we dry, what other balls do we draw the line? Like, if we're in cheese puffs, is he going damn? Those look like other men's balls to me too. It is a particularly large blueberry. What are we going to do? I know. Where are we at? What foods are reminding this man of other men's balls? I know. God forbid, she eats a hard boiled egg. I know. Three, just torment for this man. Okay, to be clear, this is a red flag. Yeah. To be clear, this is a red flag. That was the person. And like, just like, let's even, let's talk about the bare fundamentals of this is, this person is projecting their insecurity onto their partner by being insecure that their partner would cheat on them. There's an insinuating that this food is making them think of their partner cheating on them by eating this thing. But it's also calling it loot and calling it sexual. It's like, that's commentary on society and how everything women do is somehow sexualized or that they want it to be or not. And because the definition of sexualizing something is something that wasn't intentionally sexual being made sexual. Like having your daily protein snack, like, gosh, dang. Yeah. God forbid a girl just snack on some mozzarella cheese balls. Yeah. And to be fair on the packaging, it does say testicle-sized. Well, they call it fun-sides. They are testicle-sized buts-relebles. I need to try these balls. Completely the perfect size. No, this is his problem, for sure. I feel like he hits on a trifecta of things that are red flags, right? One is any sort of, like, commenting or trying to control your partner's food or eating habits. Yeah. Also taking away something that is like her favorite thing. Yeah. It's like, she's like, this is my comfort thing. My favorite thing. And he's like, no, you got to stop because of my insecurity. But also, it's hitting on the thing that I always think is a huge red flag, which is like when your partner jumps to, oh, you're cheating on me or that reminds me of cheating on me. And that, to me, and the most of the stories that we read, is usually the biggest sign that they might be doing something, or having thoughts of their own or whatever. Obviously, we don't know if any of that. That's true, but it is a red flag in that paid. You should be mindful of this. If this guy is as good of, if he is a good guy, like she says, I think if someone were to look him straight in the eyes and say, every time you see your girlfriend eat mozzarella cheese, you think of another man's balls. Look inward. Yeah. I think maybe he could fix himself. Yeah. I think if someone, if I was feeling that way and someone pointed that out to me in those words, I think maybe I'd be like, you know what, you're right. That's what I'm saying. I hope so. He really does. It feels like, yeah, if this is all that that boils down to, he needs someone to just point out how embarrassing. Yeah. He's literally be like, calling it a deal breaker, a deal breaker, and that I don't like that too. I don't like how one to zero or zero to a hundred, he's going with this, because that's the controlling nature of it. It'd be one thing and he's like, yeah, I don't know why I'm having these thoughts of another man's balls in your mouth. Like he could communicate that, I guess, but him being like, no, I'm going to break up with you. No, and that's like, this is dangerous. This is dangerous territory where precedents are set and boundaries are ignored and if that's a deal breaker for him, it's like she's about to run into so many deal breakers with him in the future. All right. Comments. Someone said, I would consider a partner who got sexually jealous over a cheese snack, a deal breaker, personally, 15,000 upvotes. Someone quoted underneath, she was cheating on me with cheese balls, bro. Someone said red flag, he's so weirdly insecure that he's offended by you eating cheese. Real men would pound those suckers back right with you. By the way, what are his thoughts on bananas, popsicles, and corn dogs? God forbid, I eat a corn dog. Yeah. No, literally. And like, what was she, what could she do about him then? Like, was she be like, hmm, like, let's think, let's think, yeah, yeah, if he's getting Put that talk on down. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Put those. You better not be holding two large melons in your hand. I think, actually, Tara, do you want a can of love or like a honey do? Okay. Okay. Final comment. If you stop eating mozzarella cheese balls to make him comfortable, he's just going to think good. She'll tolerate that crock of shit. She'll do whatever I tell her. And it will get worse. Stand your ground. If a man wants to lose you over cheese, let him. You'll have won. Yeah. I do agree with that. You will have won. You will have won. Update. Yeah. Yeah. Cheese. Update cheese. Update cheese. I also feel like I feel like as a man, I feel like any man who's dumb enough to come between a woman and cheese. Yeah. You're going to get broken up when you simply are fighting a force. Yeah. Like scientists have studied this and like they're like this is a force stronger than the ocean. Solar waves and shit. They're just like you can't stop this. Damn right. Damn right. Here we go. There's little thing in there. Get it. Yeah, I got it. Okay. Damn it. Do you going to finish that? Sorry, that was making me think I'm a woman in here. No. You can finish that. That's crazy. That's crazy. Okay. Update. July 3rd, 2024, two days later. Hey guys, I hope I'm doing this update thing right. I've never made one before. So I'm just trying to copy what other people in the sub have done. I was debating posting this update or not, but seeing just how many people saw it and became invested in my snacking made me want to give anyone who is still interested a little bit of closure. First of all, I wanted to thank you all for your time spent with me. It's honestly a little overwhelming to see how many people took a break from what I assume are very busy lives to give me advice and support. I think it's very beautiful how so many people in so many different places can come together and give some love to people who need it. Secondly, I have a short and savory update. Get it? Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because I couldn't leave you guys hanging the morning after I posted like balls like like balls. The morning after I posted me and my boyfriend talked out this entire issue and he ended up explaining why his mind immediately went to a place of sexualizing something that has no implications. I left this out of my original post because it felt unrelated even though in hindsight it was obvious, but there was an issue with infidelity in his previous relationship. I didn't know the details of what happened and never tried to bring it up because I didn't want to upset him. That was my mistake though because he is still struggling with insecurities and felt unsure if he could tell me about it. Both of us were lacking communication skills but we ended up clearing the air and I found out both why his last relationship ended and why seeing me eat cheese balls upset him. All I knew previously was that he had a serious relationship with his ex-girlfriend and they broke up because she cheated on him. Now he let me know that he found out about the incident because the person she cheated with sent him a video of her eating another man's cheese balls. He told me that he feels like by now he should have gotten over it but the betrayal stuck with him. The new move in together has started to trigger his unresolved feelings and has given him new anxieties that our relationship might end the same way. I think pairing that with the daily visual reminder through the cheese balls was a little too much for him. I know many of you have very strong opinions about him and I'm sorry to disappoint but I am not ready to let go of this relationship yet. During our conversation I let him know that I didn't like the direction that he was going with his ultimatum because it felt controlling and I told him I wouldn't tolerate another incident like this in the future. We already decided we would be looking for couples counseling in our area to help us both move on from this incident and generally learn to communicate more openly so that neither of us will bottle up our negative emotions alone and instead we can help each other overcome these emotions as a unit. Right now I'm feeling very hopeful and I think that knowing about his past will leave me better equipped to pave a better future with him. Thank you for all your advice and support. I think that without your perspectives I might have just given up on my cheese and the two of us would continue to hide our emotions without realizing that we need to open ourselves up to more communication. If we want to stay confident in both ourselves and each other, PSN extra thank you to everyone who gave me recipes and new cheeses to try. All right. Okay. I think green flag in the effort in the communication. I think that's always huge and he admitted the other possibility that we were considering. I just guess I yeah. Unfortunately it's like both the saddest and the funniest at the same time. I very much empathize getting cheated on. That is an awful, awful thing and unfortunately it is kind of funny that it literally like the cheese balls remind. Yeah. Can you imagine seeing a memory be perfectly recreated in front of you but with other things and your ring goes oh like that came from a very real place. A very real place. I mean I very grateful that I cannot relate to someone like being cheated on and and get like seeing. Yeah. Like seeing a decent any sort of footage or photos. I'm like and I've heard of people experiencing that and I'm like that's a nightmare. That's a nightmare. That's going to say whatever cycle. Yeah. Absolutely tormenting. So I understand that and obviously like something that extreme like yeah you therapies you're going to need that and like yes he had inner demons from this. Thank God he's telling her and I'm glad they're going to a couples counselor together because that's a lot to work through and clearly if it's bubbling up now like that is something he has to work through. Yeah. I mean I'm so proud of her for like standing strong on like I'm not tolerating this again and it's controlling like that's really important and like the fact that he's willing to go do counseling with her too. Like this is yeah. I'm hopeful. I'm optimistic. Oh for sure. Yeah because it all comes down to trust and right and his trust was completely obliterated in the past. Yeah. But he's in a whole new relationship with a whole new person. He's got to establish a new trust with her. Yeah. I feel bad now about what I said about being like why would you think of another man's balls when you get cheese balls and I'm like okay like you that's that's pretty that's he has fucked up. He has the one avenue of okay that makes sense. It makes sense. There's a horrible world where there is a type of boyfriend who was like this will be my first thing that I do you know like the first step in being controlling and making it a problem and stuff so like and being on the show we assume the worst sometimes but thank goodness. Absolutely and I think even when it comes from a justified place it's like no you still have your boundary you cannot like she was right to set her boundaries and because she said her boundaries this communication happened right like would it have happened if she just said okay I'll stop like right now they had further conversations and she needed to know this about him and he needed to get it out there and maybe one day he'll enjoy those cheese balls with her. Amen. I love this show if everyone in the room will allow me to wax poetic for a second Shane sometimes when I think about the show it's kind of like you're Jesus and I feel like when you stop me there and you're and you're reading us these parables you know and it's like you know the parables that Jesus was saying were like you know the with titles such as the Good Samaritan you know and then you're reading us the stories of hi my boyfriend can't stop thinking about other men's balls when I eat mozzarella and you know it's like are these stories true you know who's to say wow but is the truth of these stories really is is it more important that these stories actually happened or does the truth of them lie in the lessons that we can learn and it's just a really beautiful show that you know we can talk about mozzarella cheese balls and you know and walk away with something. -Yeah. -So thank you, Jesus. -Wow. [ Laughter ] -You know, I guess -- I guess what was Jesus but a 30-year-old podcaster, right? -Oh, my God! -Look, the mass is out there. They're listening. This is the sermon on the mount. -Sermon on the mount? Come on, the asshole. -Oh, my God. -Every Christian listener of the show is like, "I got to stop." -No, they're going, "You know, that's a good part." You know, I never thought about it in a minute. -Oh, God. Thank you. Thank you, Trevor. -Yeah, that's just what I've been thinking about. -I like whenever anyone uses the term "wax poetic." -Yeah. -When you said, "Mine if I wax poetic," I just picked you, like, waxing a car with a lot of feeling. -Mm-hmm. - 'Cause I don't know what that means. -To speak beautifully for a moment? -I'm doing it in a great detail and, you know, -Wow. -Yeah, I'm trying to be a little bit maybe drop some wisdom here. -Yeah, well, you certainly did and called me Jesus. -Yeah. -It's just the most you know. -Oh, I'm thinking of that. It's maybe-- -The best comparison I could think of. -Well, we're doing it here. -And people have said that before. -Yeah. -Oh, God. -I think. -Oh, please. -Our next story comes from "Am I the Asshole" posted in December of 2021. "Am I the Asshole" for quitting without notice over fake job postings. Okay, we have a job red flag story. -What? -As of yesterday, "I a 31-year-old woman was the marketing coordinator for a real estate agent." Let's call him John, 39-year-old man. He's very successful and recently hired a life coach who gives him weekly goals. Some of them are normal, like read this book on the cyclical nature of the real estate market. But other times, it's shit like coach says I should take Friday off because sitting is the new smoking. Not the best behavior, but harmless enough. However, John's most recent goal caught me totally by surprise. Last week, John said his coach wanted him to develop his leadership skills. I asked what that entailed, and he gave me a new task. Advertise fake job postings, one for every position on our team. John said he wanted 30 plus resumes per day and he'd interview the good ones. I can't overemphasize this enough. There are no job openings on our team. John's coach apparently thinks interviewing real people for fake jobs will make John a better leader. If someone can connect those dots for me, please do, because I don't get it. I asked John if he was serious and pointed out that people are desperate for work right now. His response, coach says real leaders are always looking for new talent. Reason number one, why I might be the asshole. I couldn't refuse a direct request without getting fired. So I made the job postings, but I didn't list compensation in the hopes that people would see red flags. We got hundreds of resumes, and John interviewed dozens of people. I listened in, and they sounded like real interviews. At no point did John mention we're not currently hiring. One of the interviewees was a young woman who chatted with me while she was waiting. And she said she's a single mother who had to get a last minute babysitter so she could make the interview. So not only is she not getting hired for this job, it cost her money to show up. Another was an older man, and when I walked him out, he asked, "Do you think a fossil like me has any shot?" I almost burst into tears, but fury won out. I told him, "There is no job. I'm sorry they lied to you." This company thinks nothing of wasting your time. He looked shocked and walked away. Someone must have heard me because I got called into John's office where he proceeded to yell at me. Apparently he's fine with lying to people's faces, but not with people knowing about it. He threatened to fire me, and I said to do it because I can't go along with this. You're getting people's hopes up for no reason. John argued that the jobs could be real in the future, and it was helping him lead the team, so that made it okay. Reason number two, why it might be the asshole. I quit on the spot, no notice. I have a second job, so I'll be okay. But John said to forget about a reference. I've never not given notice before, and I feel bad about that. But I just know John would make me keep bringing him resumes until my last day. Okay, this isn't even red flags. This guy is an asshole. I'm like, how is that legal? How is that even legal? I never know about the legality of these types of business practices, but I would hope that's illegal. I think you should only be allowed to bring in like an interviewer if there's a real job opening. You are just wasting these people's time. That's so sad, no, and especially hearing about the single mother, spending their money to go to this interview, like, oh my gosh, that's so upsetting. Yeah, if you have ever had to take a lot of time looking for a job in a really awful job market, like the one that we're currently in. It's like every single time you get through an interview and then there's just, you don't hear anything back. It's demoralized. Oh, absolutely. It's so hard. And to be doing that, like making someone, yeah, take time out of their day to go do something and give them like, oh my god, like I got this interview in person, I'm going without there even being any chance of them actually getting a job is like evil. Yeah, not only is her boss an asshole, he's also a huge dumbass, but just like this is a dumb guy. Like, I'm sure there's out there there's good life coaches, but I don't know, this reads to me like a bad man, a sphere coach that he hired. That's just spouting some bullshit. And I'm just like, what's happening? Yeah, because it's like, I love the idea of people wanting to work on their leadership skills. Because leadership is a skill, but it's like, you're already a leader of a team. Like, if you want to improve those skills, maybe like spend more time with the actual employees that you have at the company. And without creating fake job opportunities for people, like this, it's also just like is the coach all of their bosses to like, I personally, I don't think OP is the asshole for quitting. I wish they continue to be an asshole to the boss so that they get fired and maybe get severance. Yeah, because quitting and being fired are very different things. It's true, but I mean, she just couldn't tolerate it. No, she couldn't go along with his horrible practices. I always also laugh at like, 'cause it reminds me of just the manosphere shit of like, what is in their mind a good leader? 'Cause I'm like, I'm like, oh, I'm a good leader. So I'm gonna actually work on having less empathy and less understanding of human beings. I'm like, you don't even understand how another person works. Like, what the hell? Just a dumb ass. Ferdict, not the asshole. Comments, not the asshole, but report them to the board or some agent. This sounds highly illegal or immoral to say the least. John is using his power to steamroll hundreds of people, you. Someone else said, not the asshole. And if they ask why you do not have a reference or why you left your old job, tell them the truth. I would hire you in a second just based on this incident. Someone said, not the asshole. Hopefully John's life coach has experience in helping people apply for unemployment benefits. I think John is gonna need it. Your notice period was exactly as real as those job openings. And hey, having to scramble to cover your spot will teach him flexibility and gumption, making him a better leader. Good on you for sticking to your ethics. Yeah. That is such an awful story to hear. Like, it's just so sad. Like, there's so many people, like normal people that are just trying to get a job and like live that are being affected by it. And like, I would hope that this is something that is an isolated incident. But who knows what other like kind of awful business practices are going on. Oh, yeah. I do. Especially when the current era, 'cause I've been so lucky to have worked at this job for so long, but like I see comments and I see discussions of people talking about how hard it is to get a job right now. Like, people are sending out, like just an absurd amount of resumes out there and not hearing back. And especially now with like, with the way the internet works and with AI now involved with bullshit. Like, it's so hard to like get face to face time and get this close to getting a job. Yeah. Like, this guy is evil for doing it. Yeah. Yeah. No update. No update. Well, she quit. She left. Yeah. I hope other employees caught on. I hope. This was back in 2021. I hope this guy's out of a job now, but. Friday's a sitting is the new smoking. Insane. Go play the Sims and do that and the Sims. Don't do this with real people. Yeah. I was like, come on. Do it in VR chat. I don't know. No. Guys, don't go on VR chat. Don't do it. Never a reason to go on VR chat. Oh, my God. Anyways. All right. Moving on. Our next one comes from relationship advice. It's posted in October of 2021. Girlfriend 23, snooped through my male 22 Reddit account and threatened to break up if I didn't change the advice I give out. I think Reddit just ruined my relationship. Let's go. That's awesome. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Dude. Okay. This reminds me of like a thing that I feel like you and I have talked about a few times that maybe we'll come back to it. Throw away account because my primary account is compromised. We have been dating since we were, it's been compromised. It's been compromised. Throw away account, obviously. We have been dating since we were 19 and I love her a lot. She is overall a pretty awesome person and the dynamic of our relationship is great. We rarely use each other's phones but also don't mind when we do. Today she just picked my phone up and started using it. She asked me what Reddit was and I gave her a rundown of Reddit and how it works. Once I told her about this subreddit and similar ones, she was keen to know the advice I give to strangers on the internet because she thought of asking strangers for advice as a funny concept. She read through most of my comments and used my phone for two hours and was very upset at the end. I asked her what's up and she went ballistic on me saying I give horrible advice and that I should be ashamed. I was obviously confused because I only say stuff I would do and all my advice is in good faith. She said that most of my advice is about breaking up and don't consider biases that the OP might have made in the original post. Well, he sounds like a reddit. - Sounds like a reddit. - Yeah, it's a reddit. - People do be commenting to break up. - Ah, I used your break up. Break up, ah, break up. - Those moths are all about that. (laughing) - One of the posts she was upset about was of a dude that dumped his girlfriend of nine years because she cheated on him at the start and lied about it or something. My advice was that he should dump the cheater because cheaters don't change and that lying is much worse than cheating. When my girlfriend told me my advice was not good and not true, I asked her if she is a cheater because she clearly is trying to defend one. She said, "What if she was one and I told her we'd be done?" This upset her even more and my dumbass asked her, "Are you a cheater?" In an asking slash implying tone. That's my bad and I apologize since that's not what I was trying to say. We talked about other advice I gave out and with each and every one she got matter at me. To her, she thought I was a different person and doesn't think as I do about relationships. In my opinion, I have done nothing wrong. I say everything I mean and would probably do that in real life. She said that I need to get a better perspective about relationships and change the kind of advice I give out otherwise we won't work out. I told her that she threatening me with a break up for a change in behavior is manipulative and she already read the advice I gave to one OP in the same circumstance. This truly pissed her off and she left saying, "I need time to think about what I just said. I know this post is stupid but who else to ask for help with Reddit ruining my relationship other than Reddit? This is mostly a rant with some advice seeking. At a number one, I will show her this post once we make up. All to show her I'm not the only one that takes infidelity and similar acts so seriously and consider them instant dump worthy." At at number two, I have been trying to reach her but she isn't responding. Probably ignoring me so I just shot her a text that I'm done with her and now there is no point in contacting me. Since she can't even speak to me, I won't beg her to come back. This is not a rom-com. In our last interaction, she raised several red flags so I felt it was only fair to move on from this relationship. To be honest, if I was not the OP but a normal commenter, I would advise to break up so that's what I'm doing. I'm not perfect but I'm also not a hypocrite. Yes, I'm single now with a peace emoji. - It's like, I lost my flag. - Yeah, the last part is a little bit like, all right. - Can I jump? - Yeah, sure, sure. - I think it's so interesting 'cause we have talked about where a partner sees their boyfriend or girlfriend's Reddit account and they see how they behave online and how it's not what they expected. I think it is so jarring to see internet behavior and then connected to a real life person 'cause we're so used to scrolling and it's just strangers. We're like this person who's saying, I would hire you in a second, could be a 13-year-old. We don't know and we see these comments all the time that are ignoring nuance every day but we don't connect it with a real life person in our life. And so it's obviously really jarring for her and I'm glad that nobody's really rubbing up against the fact that she went through his phone because with Reddit you can go to an account and see every comment they've ever left. But I think it's just jarring to see such things and they're like, oh, that's a real person that I'm close with, it's not talking like that. - Yeah, 'cause what I think what I've said to you is I'm like, it's kind of crazy that for most people in the world there are two people and there's who they are in real life and then who they are on the internet 'cause you see so many accounts on Reddit and I'd say especially with Reddit where it's all anonymous of 'em like, who are these people? Do they believe what they're saying here? There's probably, I guarantee you, with the way humans work, there are so many comments we've read where people are like cheating is wrong, you should break up with them. And those are left by cheaters. - Yeah. - Like that, you just, you don't know who these people are and that's the weird thing with, as people point out all the time they're like, oh, that story is probably fake, I'm like, we don't know anything. This could be written by a 12 year old. That marriage advice you're getting could be from anyone. We don't know, but it's gotta be jarring to, 'cause there was a story I read where a woman found out that her husband, who she was like, he's a great guy, he's so sweet, but his Reddit account, he just comments horribly misogynistic shit on posts all the time. And it's just like, who is this guy? - Yeah. - It's like, that is who he is, but it's like, weird where the internet gives people permission in weird ways. - The internet. - Anyways, I think this converse, this story brings up a lot of like, topics around the story, but I think for me, I think that this is a, I wanna say it's a red flag, and I think that a lot of Reddit is prone to it, especially with a lot of stories that reread, but people living in a fully like everything is black and white, there is right and wrong. If someone has cheated in the past, they are a cheater. If someone is a cheater, they deserve to be broken up with. Like I think that it's very easy for people online to read a story that is coming from one perspective and has bias and be like, okay, this is what's right in this situation. This person's right and this person's wrong. And I think like there's so much nuance that you can't capture in a Reddit story and so much nuance that is completely lost on commenters. And I don't know, honestly, with a story like this, I'm like, for me to make an opinion, I'm like, I gotta read everything this guy's ever said, and every piece of advice he's ever said. - Yeah. - But yeah, 'cause it felt like he cherry picked the most blatantly obvious story where I'm like, okay, but I'm like, what else was going on in this conversation? - Truly, it's like also interesting that you know, he had to start a new account so we can't go see what he was talking about. I also like, I think it's so interesting how she was like, you need to change how you give advice. It's like, no, it sounds like she's asking him to change his morals. Like, 'cause it's not like that's like a different guy posting those things. This is his guy, this guy with his feelings. - He backed it up immediately. - To his credit, he immediately is like, I believe that. Like, he doesn't deny like that or credit, yeah. It's just so interesting to hear it worded like that, I don't know. - Yeah, and for him to just be like, oh, she didn't text back. So she obviously isn't getting me the time of day and everybody that commented on this was like, she's probably a cheater and is breaking up. It's like, you were living in such like, I feel like a distorted reality of like, you have to at least give her a chance to like, if she goes to you and doesn't say anything for a week, then it's like, okay, yeah, like, I could see that, but I feel like to live in this world of, I'm right, you're wrong, you're wrong. I like whatever it is, it's really damaging and I don't think it is conducive to healthy relationships. I think that there is a lot more talking and figuring out that needs to be done. - I agree with that. And I think, yeah, I think it's very convenient. I think the black and white thinking, especially with the internet and especially with I think in our world today where we feel so little control over anything, it's comforting to go like, that's a bad person. I get to file you into the bad person box and I get to be the good person. I think it's algorithmic thinking and we are using apps that are run by algorithms and it is affected how we think and we now think algorithmically of categorizing things and putting things into boxes and going, I've read the story, I know you, I know your relationship, break up, that's the answer. It's like, sometimes the answers are complicated. People who listen to the show know like, how I feel about cheating and that I've been cheated on. Does that mean that if someone I'm talking to goes, oh, I don't know if if someone cheated on me if that's a deal breaker, do I immediately go, then you're a cheater. Like I'm like, no, like people are complicated and it's more a matter of trust. It's not a matter of like good and bad. It's a matter of like what I think works and doesn't work. - Yeah, like the first story. - Yeah, exactly. - Yeah, I feel like-- - With how long Reddit has existed, there's, it's just, these heuristics have been formed of like if someone says this thing, that makes them this. If they speak like this, this is what they believe and that makes them this type of person and that's always the case. - It's the jumping to character assumptions with things that always frustrates me with Reddit, right? 'Cause it's going, oh, that act, what you did was wrong. Like that's hurtful. I'm like, yes, I agree with that. But it's like, therefore, that's who this person is through and through and I'm like, well, we don't know that. - Yeah, like there's a difference of cheating. It's like, Shane, you're being a bitch or Shane, you're a bitch. - Like, there's a difference of-- - And I am both. - I'm a man of multiple-- - Yeah, bad bitch. - You're acting like a bitch. It's different than Shane, you are a full-on 100% of the time, bitch. - Yeah, I'm sorry. - I said this before, but like the thing that frustrates me and I see it in our comments is like, I don't have a problem if I say something and go, oh, I disagree with what Shane said. There I go, yeah, I'm even rewatching it, maybe disagree with what I said. What frustrates me is when they go, Shane said this and therefore he must be a really bad friend or Shane clearly is this type of person. I'm like, wow, whoa, like that person I don't know and have never seen, like, that's where I'm like, let's be careful there. - Based on the context of this story, it sounds like he is the type of person to be like that. - Yes. - It sounds like he is doing those things of like making very harsh and concise judgments based on the three paragraphs of text that he's read from the person's perspective. And to be clear, as well, if, if, like him talking to his partner and he goes, oh, this guy got cheated on and she lied and tried to hide the cheating. Like, and she goes, I don't think that's a problem. I'd be like, that is a red flag. - Yeah. - 100%. - I'm not saying she is in the car here. I'm like, what's she, this flag was a red flag also. We're just ignorant. We're just observing. - All right, 'cause he was like, oh, I've had a bit of a story. - He was like, oh, I've had a bit of a story. might have been an asshole for going, are you a cheater? But it's like, that's kind of where the conversation was going. And she was actively antagonizing him in that moment. I think he was permitted to ask that question. Yeah. Um, so like, I do give him that, but yeah, there, there, it was a lot. There was a lot more. It was more the tone there at the end that I was observing. Like everything that actually happened, I don't necessarily have a problem with of him being like, oh, like, I think cheating is wrong. And she goes, oh, I don't think cheating is wrong. He goes, are you a cheater? And she goes, what if I am? I'd be like, all right, like, that's, and for me, it's like, not about if you're a bad person, it's like, do you have trust for this person though? Yeah. Don't have trust in the relationship. It doesn't work. Yeah. Um, I only thing I will criticize him for is I'm like, you went to the place where you frequent of people that you know are like minded to you to get advice. Yeah. Maybe go to someone in real life to, yeah. You know the response. I also like, if we had the opportunity to read every comment that each person in our lives has ever left, I think we all would have a lot of shattering experience. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Um, so, uh, the comments, someone said, so as an avid advisor on this sub, what advice would you give yourself? Oh, he said, this is funny. I feel bad for laughing. My advice would be something I have given out many, many times looks like this would be the hill I die on. Someone said, it's a possibility for people to change, but it's also very hard to get trust back. That is taken away. People try to go to counseling and try to work out the relationship, but that trust is never going to go back. You can build on new trust, but there's always going to be a lingering feeling. You have no problem giving it to her because you know yourself and you didn't do anything wrong. She took things way out of proportion. Once you're done healing, I hope you find someone that you can trust and speak your mind with that holds no judgment. It's really hard to find, but just stick it out. You have to, you have a good head on your shoulders. Good luck. Someone said a couple years ago, my husband borrowed my laptop while I was logged into Reddit and had left the page open. He read through a bit of my comment history, which actually really freaked me out when he told me, but his comment was that it was comforting to know that I sounded like exactly the same person on the internet as I am in his life. And then I didn't have some secret dark side or inner troll. The point being, I agree with you. If OP genuinely feels like he is the same person on Reddit that he is in real life, something is often terms of their communication with or perception of each other. Yeah. Yeah. I would say like it, I'm a little shocked. They haven't had any sort of convo of like what's a deal breaker as far as infidelity goes. Yeah. Not that that's like a obvious conversation for people, but I'm just like, that was a big topic that they had never broke and she had an extreme taken. They were on how long were they together? Like four years. They were on polar opposite sides of this view. And it's like, yeah, that doesn't work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not to be a redditor, but I feel like, no, I mean, it's like her response to the question and topic of cheating is like, I would, I would feel equally as uncomfortable. Yeah. I'd be like, that is not how I would want someone to respond. I don't want any people, anybody listening to this to think that I'm saying what she said was fine. Like, no, doing this show and reading so many Reddit stories, this story was interesting because it felt meta in a way. Yeah. I was going to say, it feels like the whole time I was talking about it, I was like, I don't even think I was actually talking about this story. I think I was just talking about Reddit as a whole and like people like, there is, it is possible for two people to be both right and wrong in the same story. Yeah. Absolutely. Everyone sucks. And in the end, everyone sucks. Yeah. Everyone sucks. Mots are releables. Oh, double rep. Hey, come on back. Our next story comes from Am I the asshole posted in May of 2021? Am I the asshole for refusing to get rid of a painting my friend made me? Oh, my best friend and I, 23-year-old women, met doing art at uni and since then have always had a tradition of giving each other homemade gifts, varying in levels from absolutely awful but well loved to genuinely time consuming pieces of art. They have always been a bit on the nose, collages of drunken misdeeds and dodgy shaved pottery, etc. Everyone I'm close to is well aware of this tradition and we all tend to get a laugh out of it. This year she gifted me a canvas, a four-ish size, painting of me standing beside a male celebrity that we both like. I absolutely loved it and sent pictures to one of our group chats where everyone laughed at how cringed but genuinely lovely of a gift it was. Straight afterwards, I got a text from my boyfriend two years telling me that he was pissed off and upset at how insulting it was for me to be displaying that in my flat when he would be coming over. It really upset me but I stood my ground and told him that it was my flat and this was a genuinely time consuming piece of art that my friend had put time and effort into. So I would not be getting rid of it just because it made him insecure. I know there wasn't any malice on my friend's part in gifting it to me. She, like me, genuinely wouldn't have considered something like that would be upsetting. My boyfriend lives in a house with roommates where they have posters of women on the walls and I don't really see the difference, but now I'm beginning to doubt myself. I won't get rid of it. I'm beginning to doubt myself. I won't get rid of it like he wants me to but should I be more sympathetic and hide it from him at it. Thank you so much for all the advice since people have asked. It's a very PG painting. The celebs chest up with an arm around me. I think she took reference from a meet and greet with him and a fan and just replaced the fan with me. Oh see, I thought it was going to be a painting of like her and the Grinch and the Grinch's balls are in her mouth. Now that would be funny. I want one of those but me. Sorry. It was like, come on. It was blowing fruit. Sorry. That's a good death. I'm just picturing like imagine like your girlfriend is drawing something and it's like them and you're like, oh that's so nice. Then you start seeing them drawing another guy. No, no, no. It is not real. Oh, bro. Okay. Yeah, this is a red flag on the boyfriend. Yeah. I want to know with this delivery. Yeah. I mean, Colleen. Okay, guesses. I would guess like, let's see, this is posted, 2021 and they're 23 year olds. They're 23 and 2021 could be like Harry Styles. Could be a style. I think a pencil or a style because you need, they're calling it at uni. They're probably the British. Yeah, or from the UK. Chris Evans. Yeah, it could be it could be Chris Evans. It could be no way. It's like a Timmy C. It doesn't feel like a Timmy C. Lee and me is going to be. I don't think he's like, yeah, no, I'm I'm I'm going I'm I'm you're going Grinch with balls in the mouth. Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, no, no, no, no, that's funny. No. Grinch green. To all our fan art friends, don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. I do fan art of Shane. I'm like, or P.O. Box. Dang it. Why don't I have to get cast in the Grinch balls at the time? Grinch balls reddit stories. Please. All right. All right. That's the internet saying. Okay. Uh, okay. He's looking at pictures of Grinch's balls. No, I know. Uh, comments, disposal services. I'd like to arrange a pickup. Yes. The whole man. Nice singer. Someone said, my mom has a full room of shitty portraits of various male hunks that I did for her during my teenage. I'm a being artist phase. My father never batted an eye. This room is now unofficially his office. And this is a huge red flag. It makes no sense for him to be pissed off or insecure about a painting. He wants you to get rid of something that your friend lovingly made for you. And he's making you doubt yourself. Yeah. Not only is it not something like she made herself. It's like a friend made this. It's like a gift. So it's like, come on. Dude, it's the sweater curse. Remember the, like, when someone is a sweater, it affects somebody. Well, yeah, someone, someone. Yeah, you're right. Let's shed some light on the fact that the guy has a house that has sexy women and posters in their place. There is a serious issue if you have this level of jealousy over what is just a gift and is a fictional concept, right? God forbid, she actually went to a meet and greet and got a pick. Yeah. I think that there is some nuance to the like celebrity crush thing. And I can understand how like some people could be insecure about like if someone was like way over the top and constantly being like, oh my god, I love that they're so like constantly talking. But if it's a little portrait that you're friend drew and it's like a little inside joke between two of you or whatever, just someone that you like, like, where is the harm? Yeah, truly. There is healthy amounts of it. It kind of falls into, it's, it's a different category. I was going to say there was the one where the guy was like mad that his girlfriend was reading like spicy books. Right. And it's just kind of like, hey man, there's a realm of fiction. And I think a lot of celebrity crushes fall into the like realm of fiction. Yeah, 100%. Right. Where it's like, oh, this isn't a real thing. I just like this idea of a thing. And it's just a fun, whatever. Yeah, 100%. No, and it's still like the fact that they, that wherever he lives with his guy roommates, they have pictures of women up all over the place. Like then they're living in the 80s. I know I literally I'm picturing like the 80s high, the high wastey like mussely tan girls. I feel like you would have that poster. - I do. - No you don't. - It's just not up right now. (laughing) - It's up in a room you don't know about, Brown. What room? - I do have that one painting that's like sexy legs. - Yeah, that's like a very artsy, that's not so. - It's the same. It's like, but you know what I'm saying? Like it is, it's not sexual, but it is. - I've got, it's a little cat and he's got a little cowboy hat on. And then a little gun, like a little kitten with a little cowboy cat, that's awesome. - I think what I'm trying to say is it's like, it's all harmless. - Right. - So like if he should not see the harm and if he doesn't see the harm in his own. - Absolutely. Update. - Whoa. - They painted the bottom half of the painting and they're naked in the bottom half of the painting. (laughing) - Final guest is for celebrities. It's a celebrity man, popular in 2021. - Robert, how did you know? - It's a good guess. - I think, I feel like RP, I think Robert Pattinson was a good guy. - Okay, that was a good guess. - I've seen the photo, so I know. - Okay. - For those interested, we have split up. - Oh. - I know it seems like it's over something so trivial, it's laughable, but I tried to have a civil conversation and explain that I wasn't willing to compromise on this. He got physically imposing and called me and my friend, which was truly the last straw, various vulgarities, which was very out of character, but enough of a raging red flag for me to get the fuck out. He didn't even try to explain rationally why it made him upset, just that he was upset I hadn't thrown it away. Upon recollection, he probably was looking for an excuse to break up. At least I'm hoping so, or I really did waste two years of my life hung up on somebody genuinely threatened by an oil painting. He picked his hill and died a really embarrassing death on it. I've contacted his mom to make sure he's okay, booked a drinks night with my best friend and I will now officially be telling everybody that Sebastian Stan ended my last relationship. Thank you so much to everyone who gave me advice, you were all lovely, ex. - Whoa. - Sebastian Stan's a good one. - That's a good one. - That's a good one. - Did your soldier wig on? - Oh, duh, bro. Winter soldier, Sebastian Stan. - Yeah, but with the wig though, 'cause that wig is rough on him. - No, not the big deal. - I can't do the greasy wig. - Yeah, I don't know. - I need the haircut, but whatever one you got a haircut in. - Good pick though, a pick we respect. Yeah, I mean, his response abs, she did the absolute right call. I know we just before said like, hey, like, not everything is break up worthy, but like, no, this, this, she tried to talk to him and he gave her his response. - He did his wig one. - I will also point out something that I feel like is commented a lot that I think of is like, oh, he yelled out these vulgarities, which is very out of character form. It's like, actually, I think you just got to finally see his character. - A locked character. - Yeah, yeah, like, no, that's his character. You're like unlocking a skill tree in life and it's like, oh, I'm gonna choose the calling people vulgarities one. - Yeah. - That's my next level up. - Yeah. - Love that tree. - Yeah. - We're like star constellation in Star Wars. - In Star Wars? - Yeah. - Yeah. - The abusive narcissism tree. (laughing) - Yeah. - How, what kind of, what kind of, what are you doing this run? (laughing) - It's stealth narcissism. - Stealth narcissism. - Oh my God. It's like, oh, crazy. Anyways, I think I'm gonna do Barbarian. (laughing) Barbarian cheater. - Barbarian cheater. - I was just thinking about doing like a mage, but I don't know what to do. - Oh yeah, just a normal one. - I'm a predator. (laughing) - Oh yeah, what are you playing us? Oh, so I'm an Argonian cheater right now. (laughing) All right, we're having fun here. (laughing) All right, it's time for our final story. - Boom. - And this comes from the subreddit to Hot Takes. - Boom. - Shout out to Morgan over to Hot Takes. Man, good subreddit. - Good. - People submit some good shit over there. Like this one. Mother-in-law thinks I am a witch because I dressed up as one for Halloween. - Hot. - Well, if it's that one episode of Buffy. - Hot. - Yeah, it is. Oh yeah. - Yeah. - And that Buffy anyway. - For the few Buffy fans out there. - Any Buffy. - Few, bro. - Grow up. - It's a lot more than a few. (laughing) - You're definitely taken care of yourself. - Grow up. That show came up before you were born. - Yeah. - So what? - So did a lot of great pieces of media. - I guess I was also like five years old when it started. So it's like I was watching it either. I married my husband about a year ago and we'd been together for about three. I don't know his parents all too well mainly because he had made a point to keep a fair amount of distance from them. But during all the wedding planning and events, I thought it would be nice to be closer with them, especially as both of my parents had passed away several years ago. I encouraged my husband to build more of a relationship with them. However, around the time of the wedding, I started to see a bunch of red flags. I generally chalked them up to a wedding stress on them. My husband is their only son, but after the wedding, the red flags started getting even bigger. I was still nothing but kind towards them, but my husband was frustrated and started going low contact with them. So that's the backstory. Now on Saturday, my husband and I went to a friend's birthday party which was Halloween themed and costumes mandatory. We both got too busy with work and at the last minute, the only costume we could put together was him wearing a t-shirt that said, "I'm with the witch and me wearing a black dress I already owned with a black choker necklace." That's it you guys, the extent of our costume. We took a picture at this party and it was put on the socials. The next day, Mother-in-Law Texts Hubbie and I, a screenshot of said picture and writes a message about how concerned she is about us and that she is praying for us. I was confused until my husband reminded me of her Karen Christianity. You know the kind that gets offended if anyone happens to be a different religion, offended if anyone says, "What the hell?" et cetera. My husband then starts getting phone calls from random, distant, and extended family members asking if he's okay. Turns out Karen has texted my husband's entire extended family, uncles, aunts, cousins all over the country. The same screenshot of our picture with a long five paragraph text asking everyone to pray for her son that I, her daughter-in-law, am into some dangerous things and is a danger to her son. Huh? She doesn't spell out her cock-a-mami belief that she thinks I am a witch. Instead, she says that I am into bad and dangerous things and that I am dragging her son down with me. And she asks everyone to pray for him and pray for me too. Bless her heart for being so generous with her prayers for I am but an evil witch. So of course the extended family members assume maybe I'm into drugs or I'm poisoning him, or some other type of abuse. You can see what this would do for my reputation in this extended family. I text her back and tell her that her actions were uncalled for and that I will be going no contact with her moving forward. She responds with daughter-in-law. We all know you dabble in witchcraft. I am only concerned about my son. I pray for you both. Husband called his father and asked him how he could let her do something like this. But father-in-law doubled down on Karen's accusations. So now my husband has gone no contact with his parents too. I feel like I am in a really bad soap opera. This isn't real life. This has to be certifiably insane, right? Part of me feels like no contact isn't forever and that eventually my husband and they will reconnect even if I don't, which does bother me. What would you all do in this situation? Pick of the costume, it's nothing. It's, yeah. Oh my. She's got a choker eyes. I'm with the witch. Honestly. I'm reserving a very tiny speck of my judgment here for how low effort that costume. Yeah. I have a lot of judgment for the parents. I'm like, you could've-- I was expecting so much more. I was expecting hot, down, broom, skin painted. Yeah, you left me wanting more there on the costume. But I'll allow it. I'll let it slide this time, OP. This is, you know, I feel like we've brought up a lot of like big reddit convos. And this is another one of like another reddit thing is like no contact. It's like, oh, cut them out of your life. But here's the reality. It's like a lot of people's parents, it's like, they're no contact for a damn good reason. It's like, 'cause they're dangerous to him. Like, they are controlling their manipulative and they are just, yeah, like, what do you do about this? Like, this is so extreme. I'm so confused 'cause like, what fed into this that this one photo decided it? I think, I mean, 'cause he was saying, so we're in a little frustrated at OP. Like a little frustrated is that she talks about, she's like, he's very distant from his parents. Right. So planning up to the wedding, I encouraged him to like get his parents back into his life. Because her parents are passed away. She clearly must have had a good relationship with her parents. So she's going, you should be, you should too. It's like why, I feel like what they should have is really had more of a convo. Why are you almost, are low contact or almost no contact with your parents? 'Cause this happened very quickly. Yeah, I think, you know, coming from, you know, not a family like that, but, you know, growing up in Idaho and around a lot of kind of, like, conservative, like, Christian evangelical type things. It's like, this is the type of person. If I had to guess, the mother is very Christian and very controlling of her son or, you know, for whatever reason. And he goes off to live his life. And, you know, probably, like, kind of steps away from that a little bit. And, you know, it's now marrying someone who's, if I had to guess, not a Christian. And now she's putting all of that blame. Because in her eyes, it's like, oh, that's my perfect Christian son. And this woman, the secular woman, has come in and ruined him and turned him to the devil. And now, maybe this picture on Instagram was enough for her to be like, all right, here's finally the piece of evidence that I can send around to everyone and be like, see, she's evil. She's ruining our, this is, you know, your family member in there. And it's just so toxic and awful. And it just comes from the, yeah, this is a very, like, controlling place. Like imagine having to feel like you need to put out a PR statement for your family, for your bloodline. Yeah. Like the fact that a witch, a witch picture, a costume photo, it's like, hello, just getting on here to say, I am not a witch. Yeah. Hey, everyone, like, where are we in the internet? The people are believing that. I know. So. So so this Karen might be saying some really nasty things to try and back up this this because it's it's baseless. It's one photo on a smaller note. It's so disrespectful and controlling for her to do to her son where she's like my son who is incapable of living his own life or making his own decisions. Yeah. I must make the decision for him and tell all our family how they should feel about my son. It's like she's completely taking away his life and agency. Yeah. And it's like this is a fully grown man. Like this isn't some kid, you know, like I just based on the picture. It's like this is clearly a man who's like definitely like in his 30s or 40s. It's like. Yeah. Oh my God. You're doing that to him now. Like she probably was way worse back in the day. And yeah, it's probably because they got into more contact with everything and they're probably just regretting it. I don't I don't think necessarily she needs to feel worried that they're going to get back close to the family without her. I don't think he needs much of an excuse to go no con. Yeah. Again, like I think the biggest red flag is like I've experienced this where someone will like go around calling people and just disparaging a person and like it's sad that that's happening obviously. And it's also sad when people just choose to believe that. And like, but you know, people were texting him saying, Hey, are you okay? Like what's going on? They thought something. Yeah. Yeah. So I would hope that that was them giving them the benefit of the doubt because it's like if someone's ever calling around or calling you just to like talk, just to talk shit about someone, it's a red flag to me. And it's like so. It's so toxic on her part to her entire family because she's clearly misrepresenting this and like making them worried like potentially like you're now adding worry into their life that like, Oh, it's like something going on like is everything okay when he's just living his normal life and he's very happy. And now they're like, Okay, I've spent this time now worrying because she's crazy. And like, it's just it's saying it's comments. She was looking for a reason to give you the boot and the costume was the perfect moment. She seemed super toxic. No wonder why he kept his distance to begin with. Oh, he said, you are absolutely right. Someone said mother-in-law wrote herself out of your lives with this one. I would go no contact until she apologized, which might be never. It might be for the best for this to happen now over something as trivial and silly as a Halloween costume. If it wasn't this, it'd be something else eventually. Someone said your husband knew of his parents red flags and did his best to keep you safe from them. W hubby. W hubby. W hubby. Lastly, someone said, dress up as your mother-in-law as a witch. Side note, if she really thinks you're a witch and into dangerous things, why is she messing with you? Ask her. Then ask for a lock of hair. I actually think after all this, I don't know if I believe the mother actually believes she's a witch. I think she's just like willing to do whatever she has to like. Yeah, I think it's like, yeah, she's just controlling. And it's just very like weird like, I don't know why it is such a thing, but this weird like little mama's boy like, oh, that's my little precious baby boy and like, he can never do any wrong. And if he doesn't have the perfect girl that I picked out for him, then I'm just going to be an evil, awful person to her. Yeah. No, that's so real. So what do we think they should dress up next, Halloween? To angels? Change your mind. Trick her. Hormons hurt. Angels. Angels. They post, they go, we've gone to heaven. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah. She should be Jesus. That'll really tick her off. Oh. Jesus. That'll go mad. That explodes. Well, that was our last story. That was it. I think witches are awesome. Yeah. I do too. I like witches. I think so. I love the movie. The Wicked Witch of the Eastbro. I don't scare you. The Vitch. The Vitch? The Vitch is one of my favorites. What's the one? What's the Midnight Margarita one? Practical magic. Practical magic. I don't tell Amanda. You would never seen practical magic. How could you not know what practical magic is? You never seen practical magic. I know what practical magic is. I have seen it. I have seen it. I have seen it. I have seen it. I have seen it. I have seen it. I have seen it. I have seen it. - Well, I've been in a video with Trevor and so long, I gotta remember what this kid's like. (laughing) - Feels good to be back in here, guys. - Yeah. - And just making videos and stuff. - I'm excited for us to be in our actual new studio. - Oh yeah. - That'd be cool. Gonna be sick. - It's gonna be sick. Hey, stick around. I don't know when the air dates are like one we'll get new videos. - Stick around, stick around. - Stick around. - It's the sweet life of Zach and Kud. (laughing) Anyways, yeah. All right, it's been chill. - Hey. - Eat mozzarella balls responsibly. - You guys are a couple of green flags to me. You guys are green flags. - You're a green flag, Trevor. Always have been. - Look, since I know you guys in real life, you guys are green flags. Now I need to see your reddit history. - Good, dude. - Perfect. - Let's go. - No, we're getting about it. - I have one comment. Do you know what it is? It was one where Xbox was down and there was a whole thread about Xbox being down and I was like, "Is 3PM but it's still down." (laughing) (laughing) - This is great. This is real and true. I don't even have a reddit account. - I don't have a reddit account. - I've never left a comment. - I've thought about making one. - I have two. - I've thought about making one and then commenting like on the Smosh reddit. - Yes! - And just be like, "I see you guys." - Yeah. - It's for real. - I'm working. I'm always here. - Someone leaves a mean comment and you're just like, "You're being a real dork right now." (laughing) - I'm not kidding. I've thought about making a reddit account and being my biggest hater as a bit. - Yeah. (laughing) - That's pretty good. - And then people are like, "Who's this guy who hates Shane?" - Why isn't he banned? - And then I would reveal it like years later, be like, "I was my biggest hater." (laughing) - And there's a lesson. - And there's a lesson. That's a wax poetic, but aren't we all? Anyway, it's all right. Bye guys. - Bye. - See you later. - Bye.