Quit Drinking Through Nonresistance

As of SDC, welcome back to another episode. My name is Barti Arez. I'm your host on the Stop Drinking Coach. And in today's episode, I want to introduce a topic and a concept to you called non-resistance. And what non-resistance is is the ability to stop fighting and to stop grasping onto the things that you don't want and allowing yourself to move through the river, the tether, the channel, and begin letting go of attachment to what you're seeing in your third-dimensional experience of reality and allowing yourself to move towards the things that you actually want. See, the way I want to describe it to you is this. So when you have an experience that is painful, that's undesirable, whether it's you lose your job, you get cut off in traffic. Somebody leaves you that's really important to you a relationship, whatever the case may be. What happens is immediately that sparks a desire and that desire lives in the fourth dimension that lives in the quantum field. Now I know this might sound metaphysical, it might sound aerie fairy, but the deeper and deeper you dig into personal development, spiritual work, the quantum field, and some of these higher level concepts, you begin to really understand this and seal this, see this, and feel this to be true. But a lot of people are kind of stuck in their ego and living in the third dimension and looking at their circumstances of life and feeling really stuck. So what I want to introduce to you is this concept of non-resistance. See, when you have a desire, the desire for something better, maybe it's the desire to stop drinking alcohol, maybe it's the desire to be sober, maybe it's the desire to have a more intimate relationship with your partner, maybe it's a desire to have a better career where you feel more aligned and more fulfilled, that desire and the contrast of that experience is available to you. But what most people do is they get addicted to looking at their three-dimensional reality, they start looking at, okay, what is the experience of my life now, and they stay stuck on that, and they keep fighting that, and they keep trying to problem solve that. In the way that you actually change, the way that you actually begin to materialize a new reality is not by being focused in the third dimension, because what you're experiencing in the third dimension right now when you look at your life, when you look at the experiences that you're having in your health, in your finances, in your career, in your family, in your community, in your social circle, that is a projection of your mind that is now showing up in the present moment, and there's a delay. There's a delay between what happens in the quantum in consciousness, and there's a delay between it showing up now in the present moment, right? That's how whatever intelligent creator, whatever thing designed this universe, that's how it works, right? That's why everything that you see literally on planet Earth, this microphone that I'm talking into, this aura ring that I'm wearing, this hat, these headphones, this necklace, this shirt, it first started in someone's mind, right? We can all agree on that. There's nothing spiritual, and there's nothing woo-woo about that. Everything that you see, the phone in your hand, it all started in somebody's mind, and then we take it from the mind, and we create it in the present moment somehow, depending on what the thing is, right? But it all starts in the mind, and if you're trying to get sober, and you're trying to get sober by meeting the edges of your nervous system, and fighting that, and saying, "Oh, well, it's gonna be too hard, "or it's gonna be too scary, or this is gonna happen, "or that's gonna happen, "and you keep fighting that," then you are gonna continue to stay in these repeated loops of re-experiencing the same thing again. The way that you grow, the way that you heal, the way that you begin to magnetize and materialize the reality that you want, is by operating in non-resistance to the three-dimensional projection that you're seeing. And so what does that mean? That means that your job is to begin to just simply focus on the desire that you have, and to allow yourself to be pulled towards that, and to say yes to the opportunities that are appearing in your field to allow you to do that. So at some point, you've been drinking alcohol, and you've been telling yourself, "Do this alcohol thing is getting in the way of my life, "it's getting in the way of relationships, "it's getting in the way of my health, "it's getting in the way of my performance, my productivity, "I want to quit drinking." And so you go online, you go to Google, you go to YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Spotify, and you type in how to stop drinking, and then my podcast pops up. And then you start listening to my podcast, and I'm like, "Hey, if you want to quit drinking, "there's a solution here. "I've got a system, I've got tools, I've got strategies. "Maybe it's not me, maybe you're listening to somebody else "who you resonate with, but what's just happened "is you went from, okay, at one point you had a desire "to relieve your pain and manage your stress "and to increase your social confidence through alcohol." And so you got that, right? You had a desire, "Hey, I have this block, "I have this stress, I have this tension." Let me find, right? It started in the mind. Let me find a solution that will help. Somebody's like, "Here, have a drink," right? The third dimension brought you a solution based off of the desire you had in your mind to manage something internally, to manage your experience internally. This could be how much money you have, this could be the quality of your relationship, it could be anything. It all starts in the mind. It starts with your conscious thought and it starts with your intention, right? In your body, the felt frequency, the felt energetic desire for something and then something comes into the 3D and it's like, "Hey, here it is. "Here's the alcohol, here's the coach, "here's the opportunity, here's the whatever," right? But then you fight it, you fight it, you're like, "Okay, it's here, but rather than focusing on the desire "and being in a state of surrender and non-attachment, "to the thing, you keep fighting the thing, "you keep fighting, but it's like, "Oh, but it's gonna be scary, it's gonna be this, "it's gonna be that, it's gonna be hard, "it might not work, I'm not cut out for it." And so then you stay stuck in these looping cycles of behavior. Okay, if you want to take your life to the next level, what you have to do is you have to stop being so focused on the circumstances of your life now and you have to go back to the source of creation, to the source of creativity, the source from which everything that's material, this chair that I'm sitting on, this TV behind me, the black paint on these walls, right? It all starts in your mind and you have to understand that if you wanna get to the next level, whatever that is, you wanna experience something new, you have to stop being in resistance to the three-dimensional reality of what is and you have to go back into the source of creation, which is your mind, and you have to believe that, you have to embody that, and then you have to have the courage and be willing to take the opportunities that are presenting themselves. It's on you if you have been stuck with a problem over and over and over and over again, despite all this support on the outside and you're just not taking it, right? If you're allowing yourself to be engulfed by the fear, engulfed by the anxiety, engulfed by the pessimistic perspectives of it not working out, then you're literally gonna be in a looping cycle of your own creation, a looping cycle of hell that was designed by you, because everything that you experience in the third dimension, meaning what you can see, what you can feel, what you can hear, what you can taste, you can touch, is a projection, it's catching up from what started in your mind. It's really, really simple, just look at your life, look at your earliest memories from when you were five to 10 years old, right? The experiences that you had into your adolescence, into your teens, you went to college, you went and got a job, it all started in your mind. You're like, oh, I wanna be in the medical field, or I wanna be in a sales rep, or I wanna be in insurance, or I wanna start a business, or I want to be a counselor, or I wanna help people, or I wanna work at, like whatever it is, right? It all starts in your mind. So if you're dealing with a lot of problems now, what you have to do is you have to get back into the field of consciousness, the source of creativity. This is what every sage, every philosopher, every guru talks about, right? It's like what is ultimately the source of all creation is consciousness. And so if you've been struggling with alcohol and you're like, let me just keep doing it on my own, let me just, you know, white knuckle it, let me just will power my way through it. You're gonna be incredibly challenged, and you're gonna keep meeting the problems at the level of the problem, rather than going back in and focusing on what is your desire? What is the desire? If the desire is to have a better life, if the desire is to be healthier, wealthier, more connected, more present, more loving, more calm, more regulated, then you have to go into the mind and you have to focus on that. Focus on that. I know it's hard when the three dimension is showing you all these problems all the time, but you also have to remember is that what's available to you is also present here in the third dimension. You just have to have and move into a state of non-resistance to move towards it, right? It's like, what are you focusing on? Are you focusing on all the things that you don't want and all the problems? In which case, your entire structure of reality will keep saying, "Okay, yep, those are the problems. "These are the challenges." Or if you focus on the solution, if you focus on the embodied desired state, which is freedom, which is calm, which is regulation, right? If it's, I want to be free from alcohol and then you start researching and then all these things are gonna start coming into your field. Then from there, it's on you to take the next step. It's on you to remove and move beyond the resistance and to take action on it, right? It's a really subtle, yet obvious, like shift in mindset that a lot of people don't consider. You know, it's like, what do you want? Do you want more harmony inside of your relationship? Do you want more connection? It's like, okay, great, focus on that. And begin to look at the things that are getting in the way and allow yourself to surrender and move towards the things you want in a way that is harmonious and not attached. And I promise that will change your life. You know, when I was getting sober and quitting drinking, this thing dropped into my lap, right? This world of coaching, this coaching company, this men's group that helped keep me sober. And if I said no to that, because I thought it was gonna be hard or difficult, or I wasn't cut out for it, or I wasn't good enough, or maybe I wasn't capable, then I would not be sitting here talking to you, and I wouldn't have helped thousands of people get sober. But I focused on the thing that I wanted, not on the problem that I didn't want. And that's the key, that is the subtle distinction. And so I wanted to make this quick podcast. This one's gonna be shorter, sometimes they're longer. You know, they typically range 30 minutes to an hour, but I wanna try to get more content out to you on a regular basis. And I think this is an incredibly important topic that so many of us forget, right? It's like, are you focusing on the things that you don't want, or are you allowing yourself to say, listen, I don't know what the future holds, I don't know what the process is necessarily gonna look like, but I'm going to surrender. And surrendering doesn't mean like laying your sword down. It just means allowing yourself to move into a state. It's developing the courage to move towards something, despite not knowing what exactly all the details are or what the path holds. And when you look at reality, what is reality? I mean, at the end of the day, for the longest time, it's been human beings passing on knowledge to other human beings, right? When we look at our ancestors, we passed on stories, we passed on knowledge, we passed on wisdom, we passed on guidance from the elders, to the parents, to the children. And we did that forever until books came around, until television and the printing press, and now with the internet, right? And so it's like, remember that if you're struggling with something and you haven't been able to do it on your own, that's okay. That's the reason we go to college is to learn from other humans, for them to pass on their knowledge and their information. They've been able to crack the code on something, they've been able to find speed of results, they've been able to refine the process so that other people can follow it, right? When you go to medical school, you read massive textbooks that other people have spent tens of thousands of hours and years experimenting on humans so that when you want to go, you know, sew up somebody's, you know, cheek, when, you know, they got cut, or somebody broke a bone, you can follow an order in a process and a system that'll do it effectively without fucking things up, right? And so sobriety is a very similar way. A lot of people get sober in different ways, but it's all about finding the person that you resonate with, right, their idea, their message, their energetic tone. If you feel a resonance towards something or somebody, allow yourself to let go of all the architecture that's blocking it and just focus on the thing that you want and surrender and move through and listen and do the things that are laid out for you and you'll get the result that you want, right? And so much of it is just not giving into the fear and allowing yourself to have the courage to take a little bit of risk. And so that's a big piece of sobriety, right? We have been stuck mentally, emotionally, energetically, neurochemically in a looping cycle that feels safe and familiar. And while that was helpful for the old version of you, right? If you're at a place now where you're ready to quit drinking and you've been listening to podcasts or reading books or trying to get into a better state of health and you're trying to like manage this thing, understand that there is a new identity that is being asked to emerge and you can feel it and you know it. That's why you feel shame and guilt every time you operate out of alignment. And so I know it's scary. But if you keep focusing on the fear, you're gonna keep getting more fear. That's how reality works. Consciousness is an amplification tool. So whatever you focus on, whatever you look at, this is basic personal development 101 from Tony Robbins, from Think and Grow Rich, from Neville Goddard, from Dr. Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, I mean there's a million of these people, right? Like these healers, these sages, these philosophers, these people that carry ancient wisdom about how we have come to understand, you know, how our minds and how consciousness and reality works. So focus less on the things that are problematic and focus in on the things that you want and then allow yourself to move through that in a state of non-attachment, non-resistance to what is coming up and just move in that direction and watch what happens. I hope this episode was helpful for you. Leave a comment below if this was helpful, if I shared anything that kind of stood out to you, share it with other people who might be listening to this podcast, share the podcast with a friend or a family member who could probably use it and hit me in the DMs on Instagram, follow me @thestopdrinkingcoach. And if you're interested in working with me or my program, go to www.thestopdrinkingcoach.com. I've got a video on there that explains a little bit about the program. I've got tons and tons of testimonials of people who found me just like you, through TikTok, through Spotify, through YouTube, through my podcast, who are now sober and whose lives are transformed in ways that are just so incredible, so beautiful. Families coming back together, people changing jobs and making more money, people happier, healthier, more in control, deeper, more intimate relationships. The whole thing, right? You have to remember that quitting drinking is not a loss. It is a rise and expansion into a new version of yourself that is happier, healthier, and everything in between. So thanks for listening and I'll see you in the next episode.