QnA Removing Distractions, Building Focus, Making TO DO Lists, Improving Communication (Ep 28)

Welcome to the Mindset Show. I'm your host, Thaksh Jindal and each week I'll bring you an inspiring person or a message to help you develop a strong mindset and good habits. Thanks for spending some time with me today and I hope you enjoy this episode. Hi guys, welcome to this special Q&A episode which I did with some of my students during a deep study session which we do every week. In this session we cover a various different topics from getting rid of destruction to increasing our focus to preparing for entrance exams, to increasing our communication skills, setting right to do lists. So this Q&A has a lot of information that can give you some practical tips in your own life. I hope you find this Q&A session helpful and let me know in the feedbacks if you want more of such Q&A sessions in the future. I would be happy to record these Q&As and put them out for you guys. So I hope you enjoy the session. Akshay. Hi Akshay. How was your deep work session? It was good sir. I was able to concentrate and not engage in my work then. What did you work on? I am currently pursuing engineering self-aware working on my course of arts. Okay nice nice. Yeah engineering one of the most beautiful areas of study give you your best. So tell me how can I help you? So sir, the point is that when I get to study, I get distracted. I get presented for 20 minutes 30 minutes and after that my mind gets to divert to something like to check the mobile, want to check some videos on YouTube. So how can I get to destruction? So what is your mode of study? How do you study? Do you study from books or do you study from YouTube? Usually study from YouTube. Okay so that is one of the biggest mistakes. First of all you need to understand YouTube is not an educational platform. Yes, education is a part of it but YouTube is a media platform which is made to attract you and keep you on the platform for as long as possible. So when you start studying on YouTube you must have clicked on your video and then you start watching your educational videos. But as soon as you start scrolling you will see so many thumbnails attracting you from politics to celebrity gossip to anything and once you go into that loop everything gets destroyed. Okay second of all you need to realize watching videos is one of the biggest waste of time it gives you a fake sense of accomplishment. You feel like oh my god you have achieved something but you wouldn't remember a lot of things after watching a video. Second thing second thing it drains you mentally okay so go back to paper and pen that is your best way of studies that is the best way to get anything in your mind even right now when I'm studying I'm using paper and pen to get things done to remember things to work on anything I want. Okay so that is the first thing keep social media all kind of media out of your study room as long as they are in your study room your mind is wired to go to them because it is the easiest option to get dopamine. See our human body is still 1000 years old and it is only looking for dopamine okay it is only looking for pleasure and running away from pain okay and as soon as social media comes into the same room as your studies the pleasure is in social media and the pain is in studies okay and now your mind will try to run away from studies and go to social media go to videos or any distraction but as soon as social media goes out of the room now your room has only two things either you say tidal or you pick up the book and study now studying is more pleasurable for your mind than sitting sitting idle because your mind will know that if I say tidal I will over thing negative thoughts will come in and my mind will go here and there instead let's just pick up the book and read that is why when you go 50 years back when there was no media reading was the most popular form of entertainment because people now didn't have to sit idle and think about the future or the past they can just pick up a book and study okay so these are the two big things that you need to remember first of all keep social media out of your study room as long as social media is inside your study room it will never let you build a life okay second of all study from books because as I said reading is the best medium to get anything in your mind and as long as a book is there in your room your mind will see that as a form of pleasure and it will run towards the book and run away from idleness idleness will be the pain do you get it okay you need to understand that as long as social media is in your room it will be very very difficult for you to achieve anything okay give it a try and you will see the results okay but good job you did deep study and I hope you saw the results okay let's go to Nikhil Nikhil can you have me hello sir hi Nikhil how are you good good did you enjoy the deep study session yes sir what did you work on actually I'm reading one book sir okay did you enjoy reading that yes sir yes sir good so tell me how can I help you my problem is that I'm listening to a podcast and like if I stop that I can't able to focus on the work so what do you have one more thing yeah one more thing like I'm getting fear that I will start social media again right now I'm like I'm doing on I'm seeing only 10 minutes in serum using only 10 minutes after listening to a podcast I'm more like watching real only for 10 minutes my activities are in instagram is on it in it's but I'm getting fear that I will start again like one or two or since in serum okay okay what what podcast are you listening to like persistence your book is only in that how to be consistent and how to be emotional strong and belief system and what actions are you taking after that actually actually I'm like I'm in the reputation I'm doing daily very good I'm listening to your podcast only daily very good almost one of one of one month 15 days very good I read a repeatedly don't actually the most I listened to the podcast was that how to earn money in spirituality okay okay how to be committed through spirituality okay okay so what action are you taking after the podcast what is your action plan right no I don't have a job I said that on the day now sir so I'm preparing for a Facebook ads and in serum okay so what are your three goals every day that you're trying to achieve three goals every day I'm like every day like I change in my mindset and every morning I'm so not like I'm going to ground and doing some exercise professional goals three professional goals that you are trying to achieve every day three professional goals you're trying to work on every day three professional goals means I'm like searching for job and one one more thing I'm interested in Instagram and Facebook ads so those are two and how are you searching how are you searching for jobs sorry sir how are you searching for jobs through LinkedIn and through my friends who are working in their particular stream okay and second goal you said was learning Instagram and social media ads yes and how are you learning that are you practicing actually doing any any practice or just watching YouTube videos oh watching YouTube videos and I'm doing some like a free free work of for my cousin he has in serum or okay so just just one cousin okay so now what I want you to do is pick up three more responsibilities three more responsibilities of free work as long as you have responsibility of free work you will keep yourself busy you will feel good about yourself and you won't feel scared of social media right now you feel scared of picking up social media again because you have plenty of free time during the day the more responsibilities you have the less free time you will have during the day and the more productive you will be so maybe go to a local charity shop or local shopkeeper and tell them okay uncle can I help in increasing your sales can I do some marketing for you for free okay like local shopkeepers they don't even know what social media marketing is what they can do with this social media stuff can you go and educate them if they say no we don't need any work then you can ask them I can teach you you can do it by yourself try to find more free customers for yourself keep yourself involved in that process and try to find at least three new customers who want to get some free work from you that will give you experience build your expertise help you build your credibility make you confident and it will start making you utilize your time as well do you get me yes sir yes sir yeah okay so try to get more responsibilities at least three more responsibilities before the next study with me session Okay, try to get three more responsibilities. Sure, sir. Sure. Okay. No problem. Good luck, Nikhil. Reena. Hi, Reena. How are you? Did you enjoy the study session? Yeah. I was a bit distracted with some of the work. Yes. I think if I'll be consistent to the session, I will increase my focus. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That's the whole point. So tell me, how can I help you? I'm struggling with my focus and I'm trying a lot to focus on the things. I've been preparing for a lot of certifications, but you know, the, the, you know, last leg of it, I'm not able to grow. So what is the biggest barrier between you and focus? What is the thing standing between you and focus? The biggest destruction? Yeah, first thing, thinking of not being in present is the most important thing. I mean, I, I don't think what next I need to be doing or, you know, what, what I'm left, I've not done, you know, not being in present is, is I think what in me or not? Okay. Not being in the present. So basically, one thing that really helps me to keep myself focused in the present is that I have a small notepad. I'll show you. I have a small notepad in which whenever I sit down to do any professional work, I write down three goals. Okay. I write down three goals in my notepad and I keep it in front of me open. Okay. So as soon as my mind wonders, my first task is done, for example, and as soon as my mind wonders here and there, my eyes go straight away to my notepad and I can see my second task. Okay. I start looking on my second task, you know, our, our mind is like a computer. As long as we keep giving our mind instructions, it will keep performing those instructions. As soon as we stop giving it instructions, it will start doing the same old work, which is thinking about the past or the future. So we need to keep giving our mind specific instructions. So right now, if I tell you, rena, look for red color in your room, I will give your mind a specific instruction. You will start looking for red color and your mind will start finding that red color. So think of your mind as a computer that needs to be given instructions again and again, and it needs to see those instructions again and again. So every time you sit down to work on anything, just write down your three tasks, keeps the diary open, keep the diary open in front of you. So that whenever your mind wonders here and there, it goes to the diary, see those tasks and comes back in the present and starts working on the task. Does that help? Yeah, it should. And second thing, but I'm, I am really struggling with. I'm not able to, you know, I prepare such a big to do list for exactly. Exactly. So that is the biggest mistake. That is what I've discussed in my podcast that don't put you up. So don't make an artificial to do list by watching Instagram influencers, YouTube, or telling you to learn about personal investing, about hundreds of different things. No. Okay. The only way to become successful in life is to become really good at what you do as simple as that. Okay. And to become really good at what you do, you should have just three goals every day, which are focused on your professional field as simple as that. If you are a coder, three goals every day related to coding, if you, if you are a finance, if you are in finance, three goals related to finance, every day, that said, becoming good at something, becoming really good at something will make you rich and successful in life, not personal finance, more stock market, not cryptocurrency, nothing like that. Okay. Do you get it? Yeah. Okay. Because these, you know, what, what were the things in your artificial to do list that you thought you must have picked up from other influencers or anywhere else? What do you think you will eliminate now? Not from influencers. Yeah. I'm talking to myself. Like I create like 10 modules, I need to be finishing. I am able to achieve only five. So I'm, I'm keeping my goals. So I, and I'm not able to finish off those things. Plus multiple tasks like modules is one thing, but I'm focusing some of the office works. I need to finish on some of the personal works I'm finishing. And I later on in night, if I see a lot of spillovers are there like I'm not able to follow those. So again, which means, which means you are not putting a lot of thought into your to do list. Okay. When you're sitting down to make a to do list, you, you know, we have Monday to Friday. Monday, you made a to do list of 10 things. Now you know that out of those 10 things, you were only able to achieve six things. Now when on Tuesday, you're sitting down to make a to do list, you reflect what happened on Monday. Should I be repeating the same mistakes? What can I improve? Should I just put six tasks this time? So instead of looking at those 20 tasks, just pick up the six most important tasks that you feel that will take you to the next level in your studies in your professional field or anything. That is where your information sorting power of your mind comes in. So you need to self reflect key. Jume ni paley galti gari the mistake I did before. Should I be repeating that again today or should I improve on it today and just pick up the most important five tasks which I can complete. Okay. I'll try to. Yeah. Yeah. This is what I do as well. Every week what I do is even I, you know, there are some things that get piled up for me as well during the end of the week. Every Sunday I sit down to self reflect during the week that what were the things that got piled up and why did they get piled up and what can I not do? How can I not repeat the same mistake next week so that most of my things get checked off and there is no pile up at the end. Okay. That self reflection is very, very important. Yeah. I guess I'm missing that. Yeah. Yeah. You're. Whatever in my mind and my to do list and then I realize okay. No, no. Self reflect, self reflect you. She's related. Get more data and improve on it. That is how you make progress. That is how you keep increasing focus and your guilt will start going down and productivity will start going up. Okay. No problem. No problem. Good luck. Siva. Hello, sir. Hi. Hi. Hi, Shiva. How is the deep study session? I was reading. Yeah. I was reading about ethics and the session was really good. Very good. Very good. How can I help you? I am struggling with my day to day routine to be very honest. And what I can able to I'm able to sit and concentrate on the things that I'm doing. But the problem is the I don't have a system. I don't have a routine. And what do you what do you mean by system? What are you trying to achieve with that system? Why do you want to create that system? Yeah. So currently I'm preparing for the for UPS exams. Okay. So that a system is needed actually system. Discipline is made to get things done. Okay. So have you listened to other UPS aspirants who have cleared the exams and what were their system and have you tried to replicate one student system into your own system and try to follow that? Actually, yeah, I have done but not working on a long for longer period of time. So what happened with that? Currently I took I made a pause for that plan and I started consulting academic mentors. So they are actually helping me out with respect to the academics. But overall routine making I'm still struggling. You mean routine with self study, right? Yeah, self study, everything. I mean planning at 24 a day. See that see again, you don't have to be productive 24 hours of the day. Okay, don't get into that dilemma that I, if I have to take it out, I need to be productive 24 hours a day. No, you only need to be productive 4 to 6 hours a day maximum. Okay. If you are productive 4 to 6 hours a day, you give deep work 4 to 6 hours a day. That's good enough to help you clear any exam like I was listening to a UPSC aspirant. She was just studying 6 hours a day. That's it. But in those 6 hours, she was doing deep work and because of that, she was able to clear her exam. You don't need focus more than that. It's just that we have put this false pressure on ourselves by looking into Elon Musk's routine who is busy the whole day. Jeff Bezos routine who is busy the whole day. Those people are busy because they have so much responsibilities on them. They are running 3, 4, 5 companies. That is why they are busy. So if you have just one goal, which is UPSC 6 hours a day, discipline of 6 hours a day is good enough for you. So if you said 3 goals of 2 hours each every day, that's it. Okay. Yeah, I will follow this. I'll try to. And I'm telling you, there are UPSC aspirants who have cleared UPSC with 6 hours of deep work. And there are students who have been studying for 14 hours, but filled with distractions, doing shallow work instead of deep work and they haven't been able to clear it for years and years. Okay. I will follow this. And I mean, and also I was mentioned with respect to routine. I'm trying to add other things as well like working out and stuff, which is actually clicking out. But apart from that, I'm not able to plan my whole day apart from studies. The other first, first get your study sorted. See, okay. So if your studies are not sorted, If you're interested in this, please subscribe to our channel. vehnt studied properly the whole day even if you go to the gym you will feel guilty ki evi me padle tha. Ok you won't be able to give your best event to workout. So first number one priority for any goal setting should be to get your professional life sorted. Once your professional life is sorted then in your personal life you can work on other goals guilt free. Otherwise you will always have guilt ki agar boh book padram if you are reading for leisure you will have guilt is set tha to UPSC ke le padle tha. You won't be able to do any other activity if your professional life is not sorted. That is why I say just try to become the best in your professional life it will solve most of your problems. Ok yeah I will follow that. I will not it done so I will follow it. Yeah so just set 3 goals of 2 hours each every day and do deep study in that. That's it and you will see after that you will start having guilt free evenings which you can use to play basketball badminton do anything you want. So don't put too much pressure of being 20 hours productive every day it's stupid it won't happen it only happens to people who are running 5-6 billion dollar companies. You know if you have just one goal 6 hours are enough for that. Ok. Focus on that. Yeah sure. Thank you all. Good luck. Yash. Good thing. Yeah. Hi God how are you? I'm good how are you Yash? Yeah I'm doing fine as well. Did you enjoy the session? The thing is yeah. Yeah. Yeah tell me how can I help you. So I think I am I was working that the previous day. I am working at house right now. I don't know. So the thing is that I am right now working for call center. Yeah. So I'm a call center representative. Yeah. And I am dealing with hotel booking flight. Yeah. So the thing is that I am facing very nervousness during my OTT phase. Ok. So that is on Shingya. I am so nervousness and anxiety is a little bit of anxiety. So that's for that. So I wanted to have some clarity. So why is this happening? So do you feel nervousness on a call when you are talking to someone? Yes. Yes. And why do you feel nervous? Why do you think you feel nervous? Are you not confident about the product that you are trying to sell? No. No. No. Actually the thing is that the training I didn't get that. And it's so much. It's very fast. Yeah. So training. Yeah. So right now I am into that. So product is very fast. Ok. I want to you know everything is assembled up. Ok. So previously I joined some of the job. So do you have friends at work? Right now. Do you have friends at work? Yes. Do you have friends? You can't hear me. So I will get back to him later. Yes. Ok. So Joey. Joey, we missed you. Hi, loves how you? I am good. How are you, Joey? I am great. And it's great to be back with you. No problem. It's back from one of my field trips. Ok. Nice. So what do you think? I am good. I am good. And today was my first session. I missed the two of them because I was working. Yeah, no problem. Great. Good. What did you work on today? So I returned this morning after one and a half months of field work. And I had around you know 50 things to do on my list. And I got over when for the first 15 minutes. But I had already attended your sessions. So I focused on my top three. Good. And then I just started working. Towards the end I just started working on one of the research articles that I want to submit in the Janaviri's journal. Very good. So it went great. Very good. But early it was a little, I was getting anxiety. At times I had to do all of this. But yeah. Very good. So you feel more confident now? Yeah, I am very much more. I need to attend these sessions more because you want a lot of questions also. So a mind also gets answered in that only. Good. Yeah, that's why I thought it will be helpful for everyone. So do you have any questions I can help you with? Currently no. Or maybe in the next session I'll just try to. Yeah, no problem. There's anything. No problem. Thank you so much. I'm glad you gave you a best. And you got over your anxiety. Okay. So I will see you again in the next session. Yes, yes. Can you help me now? Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes. So I was saying that do you know someone at your workplace who is good at talking to people? Who is good at who's good on calls? Yeah, yeah. I have some mental tools. Who's good at calls. Okay. Just have a meeting with them and write down three points that you need to talk about in every call. Ask them what are the three things that I should say in every call. Okay. That will start building a road map for you and that road map will start giving you a confidence. So for example, when I conducted my group sessions, I had a road map of four or five points that I need to talk about. And I used to talk about around those points and give examples around those points. Do you get me? Okay. And that gave me confidence to talk to people. So similarly, talk to the person who is good at talking to customers in your company. Write down three points, three things that you need to talk about in every call. Ask him three things I should say in every call and talk around those three things. And you will feel much more confident in your calls. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Every problem can be solved. Okay. Okay, Ash. So here is a quick summary of all the points that we discussed in the Q&A. Number one, removing distractions from your life, make sure that you don't have social media or any kind of media in your study room. Study using your books, paper and pen. That is the best way to study, best way to absorb information. That is how humans have been studying for decades and decades. And that is how most of the toppers get marks. And that is how most of the people who have made the difference in anyone's life in the world have done their studies. Number two, we talked about two to list. We talked about how not to create an artificial two to list. We talked about how to self reflect and improve your two to list the next day. So if you had put in 10 items and you were able to finish just five instead next day instead of feeling guilty. Make sure you just add five items. Five most important items into your two to list and get those done. And all those things should be related to your professional life. Doing the best work in your field is the only way to success. If you become really, really good at doing something, either it's coding, sales, anything. That will become your lifetime asset and will make you rich and successful in life. Number three, we talked about the entrance exam for UPSP preparation. If you want to create a system, make sure you create a six hours deep work session system for yourself. Two hours to one subject. That's it for any entrance exam. If you start with that system will help you build confidence, consistency and it will improve your knowledge. Once you feel six hours is easy for you now after doing it for two weeks, three weeks. You can yes, start increasing the time. But start with six hours, six hours are more than good enough. To help you clear any exam people have done that in their own lives. Six hours of deep work is equivalent to 14 hours of distracted work. And lastly, we talked about how to improve your communication skills in any field by talking to the person who is really good at communicating in that field. And writing down three points that he talks about in all his pitches, sales pitch, entrepreneurship pitch or any kind of communication that he does. Write down three points that he talks about, that person talks about in any communication pitch that he does. And you build your story around those three points as well. You use their experience to improve your communication skills. So if you found this podcast helpful, don't forget to share it with your family and friends. You never know whose life you might change by sharing this podcast. And I hope you learned something new from this episode and you will go and implement the things we discussed. If you enjoyed this episode and got value out of it, then don't forget to subscribe and please leave a review as that review will help me a lot in my podcast journey. I will see you in my next episode. Till then take care and take action.