Putting The EVIL In Devil | Reading Reddit Stories

Thanks to DoorDash for sponsoring this episode. DoorDash makes showing up for the people you love easy. Needed that? Delivered. DoorDash. Order now. Hello, and welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today's theme is Am I the Devil? That's right, these are the worst of the worst on Reddit. And I'm joined by two of the best of the best. Oh, that was so sweet. That was nice. Expect that, did you? Just kidding, we're the devil! Whoa! Fuck the face! I was wrong! Fuck the face. Fuck the face. Do you even know what this is? You on a couch going, fuck the face! All right, I'm joined by Angela and Chance. If you couldn't tell already, how are we doing? Good, Shane. Thanks. We're good, thanks, Shane. What in your eyes makes someone a devil? Like, just on an everyday basis, right? Obviously, murder. Yeah. But, like, what's probably, what's, like, the smallest thing, like, that, like, someone can do that you're just like, ugh. I'm trying to think. Okay, what's a bad thing? Or a small thing that's, like, a big thing for us? That I'm like, you're the devil for that. For me, a lot of the time, it's fighting, it's fighting people who it's above their pay grade to fight. Oh. Ooh. It's like, like, you're fighting for things that the person can't really help you with. Like, customer service people, don't fight with them. Yeah. Or, like, retail, restaurants, like, do not, like, leave them alone. I think, like, people being rude to any service worker, that's such a, like, that is a, it's a very solid one. I'm just like, that's clear, cut, and dry. And a lot of time, it's their own problems in their own life that they're projecting on the other person. But people who project, like, they hurt people around them. And it shows that they don't view other people, like, they don't have the empathy for other people. Yeah. I think, maybe a where's my hug guy. Oh. He's like, thinks he deserves everything. Or, I'm combining him with the, you should smile. Ooh. That's my devil. Yeah. People who expect things from other people. Yeah. Like, they, I, yeah. I've said many times, like, lying is, to me, like, I just really, especially the more it gets to, like, because there's lying out of, like, fear of hurting someone, right? And that I can forgive, but it's. Like a people-pleasing lie. Yeah, but it's, like, it's people who truly, like, formulate consciously a lie. And I'm like, how do you do that? We've read so many stories where I'm like, that, to me, is, like, what cheating is. Yeah. Where I'm like, that's the best. Yeah. Yeah. That's the bad part, because I'm like, you're removing reality from someone. Yeah. And it's the more that that person's supposed to trust you, and you do that to them, I'm like, yeah, you're the devil. No, that is so bad. I hate it. Making someone feel less than just to do that and to feel powerful, to me, is really bad. Let's move into our first Am I the Devil story. This first post was posted on Am I the Asshole? and ended up on Am I the Devil? This was posted in July of this year, 2026. Am I the Asshole for feeling bad that my marriage announcement was stolen? Huh? Whoa. So for years now, I have been saying that I don't want a wedding because they are so stressful and expensive and have so many traditions rooted in outdated beliefs. My alternative plan is to take my partner and my best friend, who is a photographer, to somewhere like Yellowstone National Park or Redwoods and get some really cool wedding photos, and then sending out cards to everyone saying, "Surprise, I'm married. "Come celebrate with us at a reception." Back in May, it's currently July, I was at my friend's college graduation party, let's call her Sarah, and the topic of weddings came up. For context, the friend graduating is the same best friend who is a photographer, and a mutual friend, Brittany, of ours, who we have both known for years, was part of the conversation. I told them about my idea to elope in the woods somewhere and surprise everyone with a reception, and Brittany thought it was hilarious. Flash forward to today, and I opened Facebook to see a post from Brittany saying, "Surprise, we're married. "Thank you, Lord, for blessing me "with such a kind, loving, and gentle man. "Huge thanks to Sarah, "for taking our pictures. "P.S., we've been married for two months now, hee hee." With a photo shoot done by Sarah, my first thought was, "WTF?" Because that is exactly what I wanted to do and have been saying to people for years. She not only stole my idea, but used the exact same photographer and even the words I wanted to say. I texted Sarah, who I've been friends with for 15 years, and asked her about Brittany's situation. She said she came up with the idea because she didn't want a big wedding and asked Sarah to take the pictures. I said, "You know I've been talking about "doing that exact thing for years, "and that I literally mentioned it with Brittany "and Sarah at Sarah's graduation party in May." Sarah said she doesn't think Brittany meant to steal anything, and it's really not that deep, especially since I'm single right now, so it will be a while before I'm thinking about marriage again anyways. I don't even want to talk to Brittany about it because I don't want to rain on her happy moment and make it about me when she is celebrating her marriage. I feel so dumb and upset for talking about my plans that I was excited about it, and it feels like now, if I do this thing I've been wanting to do for years, it will look like I'm the one copying Brittany, and that's kind of shitty to do, in my opinion. So am I the asshole for being upset? - Wait, who's the devil? Brittany? - No, Reddit deemed OP the asshole. - What? - Because-- - Because, okay, that makes sense. - Because she's single, she's saying, "Oh, I want to do this thing," and then her friend or someone she knows did the thing. - It's also like, it's tough to own an idea. - Right, she's trying to copyright something she doesn't technically have copyright. This is also-- - I made whipped coffee. I made whipped coffee and made a video about it. Oh, you can't make whipped coffee, that was my idea. - Well, what, how do you own that? - What I'm hung up on immediately is that she's like, I'm single, but this is what I'm doing for my wedding. It's like, so your future partner gets no say whatsoever. - Yeah. - You picked the verbiage, you picked the photographer, you picked the location and everything, and your partner, you're gonna tell them that this is the plan, or are they gonna have any say? - And the fact that they're going to elope. - Yeah, well, and it's like, if you are determined about some things, like if you, at a certain point, are going, "I'm gonna elope, that's my plan, I don't want a wedding," but it's like, you're gonna have to find someone who agrees on that, but it's just kind of like, you're literally saying, I make the decision on everything, but I don't know. - I don't know, this is just kind of funny to me. - I know, I find it funny and a little young. - Yeah, I don't know how old Opie is. - I ordered that, you can't order that too. - Yeah. - I will say, growing up, I was very sensitive about being copied. I think it was having a younger brother that anytime I wanted to do something, or I remember I had a friend that would copy everything I did, and it bothered me so deeply. And I was in middle school or elementary school, and I remember it was like me finally starting to have individuality. I was like, "Oh, I really like this type of T-shirt," or, "I really like this type of thing," and then someone would be like, "That's mine," and then I would get so sensitive over it, and then it became, I'm talking young me, really, and then I would be like, "Well, I want this," and it's somebody just struggling to feel like they're gonna lose something because they're putting their identity in an idea, where it's like, it's okay. No one's, you having the same kind of wedding as somebody else, or announcement, does it make you less than? Does it make, you know what I mean? It's like very limiting beliefs is what it feels like. - Yeah, your proposal, engagement, wedding, that's really truly supposed to feel and be about you and the person you love. That's what matters, and people who get, like her, who's not even in a relationship, is so wrapped up in the idea of a thing more than the actual reality of the thing. I thought, as I was reading it at first, that it was like, "Oh, she's with someone, "she's gonna get married in the next few months." And I was like, "Oh, shit, if they did that right before, "like you were about to do a thing, that sucks." But now it's like, "Oh, this thing that you're saying "you're gonna do eventually, and you're telling people, "like this is my plan to do someday." - And I guess using the same photographer that you wanted to use kind of sucks, but you're in the same friend group. - And it's like-- - That's also your friend who's a photographer, so it's like, "Why would I not?" - And it's like, that's awesome, we got both of our favorite photographer work. - Yes, exactly. - Yeah, I don't know, it's kind of like, 'cause like so many of Courtney and I's photos were taken by Brennan, and that's like if anyone else at Smosh was like, "Well, Brennan took our wedding photos," and we were like, "What the fuck?" - Yeah. - How fucking dare you? It's like our, sorry, our director of photography, it's like, "Well, yeah, but fuck you." - And also like, there's this expression, a candle loses nothing from lighting another candle. - Yeah. - It's like, there's just more light now, come on. - But that is literally, I go back to like childhood, because I think when you're a kid, you think like, when things need to be shared or something, but like, as an adult, this has no effect on you. Not on OP. Like, this couldn't matter less. And you're not like, finding your voice on the playground. You're not like, and this isn't something special to you and your partner, because said partner doesn't exist yet. - Yes. - Like, it's like, I don't even know. - And you're caring so much about what other people think. You're like, "Oh, well, they're gonna think "I copied our other friend." - It's like, dude, it's like five months from now, everyone's gonna have forgotten, like they're gonna move on and think, like, wedding invitations do all have a similar vibe to them. There's nothing wrong with that. Like, it's like. - It's childish. - You know, yeah, like, I don't know. It is a little silly. The top comment is, "Wait, you're single?" 1,000 upvotes. Someone said, "You're the asshole. "You've not invented the wheel. "Someone got married in a wood "where thousands of others have done. "Perhaps if it was such a secret and a private ambition, "you shouldn't have told everyone." Someone said, "You're the asshole. I was kind of with you until you mentioned you're still single. It's like friends slash relatives stealing a baby name from someone who's not even pregnant. By the time you'll get married, many people will either barely remember or be open to dialogue where you can subtly mention it being your idea first. That being said, I don't think it's the most original and unique thing to begin with. More and more couples elope, announce it via social media, and throw a reception party afterwards. It happens. Yeah, this is not some, it's like, oh, you're getting married in the woods. Whoa. It's like, it's a really cool thing. Wait, didn't you do that? We didn't get married in the woods, but we got, we did kind of announce it on social media. And then you had a reception. And then we did that later, yeah. But other people I know did that. That's a normal, you're not mad about that. No, and we got married at a place, we got married in Santa Barbara because I had other friends who, including Amanda. Including Amanda. And they were like, it's amazing, it's beautiful. And we're like, great, we'll do that. I know so many friends that have gotten married at that courthouse. It's just like, yeah. It's a beautiful one. One of my friends who'd gotten married there, he was pregnant. And that was part of the reason, because I was like, oh, I hear it's gorgeous. He's like, oh, you got married there too? He's like, that makes me so happy that you guys did that too. That's incredible. Yeah. I don't know, it's just kind of beautiful. And what would be weird. It's like, I got baptized at that church. You can't get baptized at that church too. You can't get baptized there too. Oh, I guess not. What I also, I guess what I'm also, I like to give OP a little bit of empathy is like, I guess I just get, you're just like, fuck, this person's doing the thing that I fantasize about. That's what I'm saying. I think it goes back to an insecurity. Where like, she doesn't have that. Right. But what I, if I was her friend, I'd be like, she didn't steal that from you. You still get to do that. Yeah. And it doesn't make it less than. You will get to do that and more, whatever you want. Like, but also keep in mind, you're going to be with a partner who's also going to have feelings and dreams as well. So just keep that, find the compromise there. If this friend was going around going, yeah, this was my idea. And I just, I can't believe I'm so freaking smart. Yeah. It's like, okay, you can be like, hey, I think I threw that idea out there, but. Overall, she's making a bigger deal than it needs to be. It's like, yeah. I agree. Great. I agree. Moving on. Our next. Look at this. I discovered this yesterday. Check this out. Does it sit? Isn't that so cool? It was a different Reddit episode? It was a different Reddit. It was with Spencer. It was the best episode we've ever done. Yeah. I'm going to find something cooler to do with this pillow. Next story. I can't wait to see. This episode of Reddit Stories is sponsored by DoorDash. 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Either way, DoorDash makes showing up for the people you love easy. Needed that? Delivered. DoorDash. Order now. Back to the show. Our next story was posted on Am I the Asshole? And then on to Am I the Devil? Back in. It's a bracelet. Shit. Oh, wow. That's really cool. She kind of nailed that. This was posted on Am I the Asshole? Clearing the throat. Not a single laugh, but a clearing the throat. It's a bracelet. I hope we got that on the audio. And then ended up on Am I the Devil? This was posted yesterday. Yeah! So that means it ended up on Am I the Devil very fast. Am I the Asshole for not wanting to stay behind with our son while my wife goes to a wedding in China? Oh. Well, where do you want to go? China? To the wedding, too. Yeah, but your son. Oh. My wife and I are traveling to China with our one-year-old son. While we're there, she has a friend's wedding a few hours away from her parents' home. I assumed I would be going. I assumed I would be going with her as her husband. However, her cousin apparently booked a hotel room for my wife and her friend a long time ago. My wife says she doesn't want her cousin to pay for another room because it would be expensive. But regardless, she expects me to stay behind with our son at her parents' house as one of his parents should be there. I have no problem looking after my son, but I feel uncomfortable being left there without my wife. I barely speak any Chinese beyond hello, no, and okay, and her parents don't speak English. I would be in an unfamiliar country, unable to properly speak Chinese. I don't know how to properly communicate with anyone while my wife is several hours away. When I raised my concerns, she said someone has to look after our son. I understand that, but I thought we would work out a plan together. Either attend as a family, arrange suitable accommodation, or find another option. Instead, it feels like the existing hotel booking matters more than including me or considering how isolated I would feel. I'm not trying to stop her from attending her friend's wedding. I'm just upset that, as her husband, I'm expected to stay behind and feel stranded with no real family. As her husband, should I not be there at a wedding with her? They've never even seen me for the first time. Am I the asshole for not wanting to agree to this arrangement? I'm not sure, but I feel annoyed about it. Oh, my God, dude. They've never even met me. I should go so I can meet them for the first time in the most important day of their life. Yeah, I don't want to hang out with her stupid parents. Yeah, or my stupid son. My stupid, stupid son. You can't even talk. My son doesn't even speak English. I can't even figure this shit out. What am I going to do all day? Has this man ever met, like, a woman? Period. Like, a millennial woman or a gen. Why? Because he's going to be really disappointed when he learns there's millions and millions of women that were told to stay home with their kids. Oh, yeah. That's true. Like, I'm like, in what world do you think that it's out of. It's out of the ordinary that one parent has to stay behind and do child care. In what world? I guess it's that he's in a different country and can't speak Chinese. He's saying he feels isolated, but it's also. But I'm like, it was posted yesterday. Girl, you got Google on your phone? Uh-huh. You got Google Translate. You can translate. I'm also a little bit, I guess, like. Put your AirPod in, talk to Siri, and get your translation out in two seconds. I just. It's, once again, he's allowed to be like, oh, like, I feel a little nervous. I feel a little, like. Yeah. Talk to her about being like, I feel nervous that I don't speak. But he's not really talking from a place. He's not really talking from a place of, like, oh, I'm concerned. He's more talking from, like, I'm upset. No, that's what I'm picking up on. That, like, I'm here, that I'm mad. And I'm like, I'm not trusting this feeling. Yes. But I'm also like, you married someone whose family speaks a different language, is from a different culture, and you're here now in their country, and you didn't learn more than hello, okay, and no. No, I agree with you. I could be putting some misogyny on the air, but it was the, like, she shouldn't go to that wedding without me. There was some sentence like that in there. Like, they don't even know I. Shouldn't she go with her husband? Yeah, there was a little bit of that and a little. And I don't know. I, like, I shouldn't jump to conclusions, but I feel as if this couple hasn't spent their kid's entire life always together. Yeah. Like, there has to have been a time where she's taken the kid. So this makes me think that he has never been alone to take care of the kid by himself. I don't know. I don't know. I'm jumping to conclusions because I do agree with you. It also does read like he's. He's nervous to be alone in the country. And that's a valid feeling, but I think if he's really there, it's like you can talk to your wife about you're feeling nervous and stuff, but, like, that's. Here's what I will say. It did sound like he was expecting to go to the wedding, and so was she. And she said, oh, actually, there's not room when he's already in the country. I would be disappointed, too, if I was going to China for a wedding and then I didn't get to go to the wedding. I would be upset. Well, they didn't go for the wedding. It sounds like. He says, so he starts it off, my wife and I are traveling to China with our one-year-old son. So I think. It doesn't sound like. I don't think they were going for the wedding. No, it sounds like they're going to visit her parents. I would hope that OP, if that was the full context, would write, we traveled here with the intention of this, but he's not giving us that info. And also, I'm going to go back to, I keep forgetting, they're there to visit her parents. That's why they're there. And he doesn't even want to be alone with her parents. Yeah. Yeah. Like, he doesn't. That's a valid. That's a really, like. That's a big thing, like, to have that opportunity. I know that's scary, but, like. And I'm speaking from a place of so removed from this because I don't have a child and I don't have a wife who's from China. But, like, you're there probably with parents that you don't spend much time with. Yeah. Like, you have a moment to be there with one of this. One of your kid's grandparents. Yeah. And spend time with them together. Like, that's a. That could mean a lot. And also, this, like, this fear of not living in the country, you are there with your child's grandparents. You are there with your child's grandparents who live in that country. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, I don't really buy the fear being the main thing for the child. I'm scared. He's not really talking from a place of fear. The amount of people I know who have kids and where you're out somewhere and they go, oh, my partner's back with the kid. And it's like, you always are like, that's so cool. That's, like, that. You respect that so much. That's a very normal thing, like. Because you can't take a one-year-old to a wedding. No. Yeah, and that's like. And I don't want one-year-olds at my wedding. Like, I don't think a lot of. But also, it sounds like this was planned before they were out here, before maybe they were married. married or something or before they had their son it also sounds like it's her friends it's her friends that he's never met she's in her she's in her hometown for yeah and he's like i should be a part of this i should be a part of this i need to meet them and she's like i'm so important no i'm staying with my friend i don't want to kick my friend out of the hotel room that's why i'm like buddy like you're kind of exercising a little control over his partner yeah one night it's one night yeah it's one single night um comments dude rise to the occasion google translate is fantastic i had a chinese customer whose english was terrible but with google translate we converse just fine don't be the problem man be the problem solver someone replied to that saying some people are very accustomed to always being catered to when they are not catered to it becomes a crisis to them because they don't have the resilience or problem solving skills to figure it out i don't know if op is that person it's really you to him to decide someone said if he's uncomfortable being with his in-laws and unable to speak a common language he's going to hate being at a wedding most likely a culturally different wedding and being unable to speak a common language in a similar situation i would be begging to skip the wedding does oop expect his wife to spend the entire wedding at his side and not mingle with her friends he does i did not how did i not think about that it's like yes we're at a wedding in china you're going to this wedding she's gonna have to now like translate for you all night like that's a lot of work for her it's like let her go be with her friends and they're gonna all speak chinese and you're no you are this i'm scared of the translation thing is crazy when you're in your grandpa when you're in your in-laws house with the baby you're not like bringing the baby to like museums where you have to like translate for the baby it's also a baby going to a social event that's when you would be worried about a language i just think i think this guy doesn't want his wife to go out and him get stuck with the baby and my theory is i don't think there's a way in which they've only always taken care of the baby together i think this woman is taking care of the baby by herself and he's just doesn't want to do it but i'm assuming so don't kill me so don't kill me someone replied to that saying to be frank younger generations are more likely to speak english but dude has a phone he can use a translator it's not rocket science someone said i understand your frustration but on this occasion you might just have to put on your big boy pants and deal with feeling isolated for one single overnight while spending time with family maybe this will be a great opportunity for you to learn a few more words in your wife's native tongue so you can more easily communicate with her parents and vice versa for them lastly someone said grown-ass man can open reddit but not google translate yeah once again it's like dude you're allowed to like feel stuff but like you're you're allowed to like do whatever the hell you want you're allowed to do whatever the hell you want you're allowed to do whatever the hell you want and i'm glad which is gonna put a hindrance on her wedding like hopefully he hears these comments and goes you're right i need to just be cool tonight this will mean a lot to my wife if i do this for her like i'll feel uncomfortable but part i feel like a part of having a child is like hey there's gonna be a lot of nights where you're both gonna have to take turns being uncomfortable and like deal with some or sacrifice it's like man you don't get to go to this cool wedding in china but you get to be here you know like and i get it it sucks you want to go to this wedding with your wife but i don't you have a baby i see it as such a moment to like earn so many points with her parents i love the same like if you go babe i'm so glad you're going off to that wedding like have so much fun i'm gonna stay here and take care of our son the her her parents are gonna see that and be like he's a winner we love him like you have that moment what is he gonna do with the baby besides stay home it's one night i just we talk about this a lot with um it's a baby put it to bed and you're done like literally go to bed i i talk about this a lot with dudes more so with like dating and like just marriage situations where they have the like the layup for like a perfect dunk to be just the guy that's so cool to like win so many points and i'm like here's your moment man like you get to step up and be the cool guy yeah and she'll remember this forever but it's like oh okay no like don't don't let this slip up um so this is he's asking like i mean hopefully this is hopefully he has not brought it up too much hopefully he has time to be cool about it but wait if this was posted when did you say yes it's supposed to yesterday so hopefully the wedding is like now um let's see was it is it happening right now oh my god i don't know if it's happening they're they're they're saying they're are traveling to china they it might be happening in the next week oh my god so we could get an up you could get an invite you know invite update invite that would be awesome i'm in china our next story comes from am i the asshole posted on am i the devil back in january of 2022 okay you look to me like that was our anniversary or something i was like did that mean something you went remember what oh oh i want to know just i want to know off january 2022 31st 2022 okay i want to know your opinion based off the title am i the asshole for texting from my girlfriend's phone yes let's let's put our listening hats on that's my listening hat how do you get it on good balance i definitely feel like a like i would never touch courtney's phone depends on the circumstance oh if it's an emergency situation yeah but like i'm talking like i'm not talking i'm just talking like i'm not gonna grab the phone unless she's sitting right next to me and looking at me yeah that's fine but i'm talking like it without their knowing oh if i'm like driving i'm like can you text someone from me like oh well if you take over yeah of course yeah or yeah sure my girlfriend in the room yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm sorry january 31st stop okay i'm ready my girlfriend was doing some time sensitive work on her computer and asked me to go through her photo gallery on her phone and send her some images as i was going through the photos she got a text from someone that said love you princess good night heart emoji i understandably got freaked out and started looking at the text history i didn't need to read a lot before seeing red my girlfriend had been chatting with this person regularly mainly about her day he keeps calling her baby and princess and sending her lots of love and hugs and kisses i feel shocked i thought i had a great relationship with my girlfriend i looked at the name again and suddenly remembered my girlfriend had mumbled it and something about chocolate in her sleep the other night i could see this had been going on for a while and i got really angry so i sent a message to the guy about how he was scum for calling somebody else's girlfriend baby and then i deleted the messages and blocked the number this was an hour ago i don't feel like i went too far but now that i've cooled down i've been wondering and wanting some outside perspective no see that was not the right like you that was oh god he's one of those guys it's like i'm gonna do something crazy really fast i'm not gonna think it through yeah i need an update when was this posted january 31st 2022 um yeah he's he's uh he's the asshole that's intense man like it's like you get the text it's like love you princess good night if you feel weird about that you could be like oh someone texted you love you princess good night yeah and then watch her kind of and be like so like what's up like um and talk to her because you don't know what it is yet because you don't know what it is suspicious talk to him it's fair to be like hey what's up like but but talk to your partner talk to your partner always talk to your partner and if you don't have trust in your partner then that's already your problem you know what i mean like that's because i've been in relationships where i was i was suspicious like because and then i found out stuff was happening but like if you're already to the point where you believe stuff like that is happening or you quickly believe that's happening it's and you feel that urge to go through their phone i'm like you already need to like talk it out or not be in this relationship because you can't operate with no trust to like write a text and then block it's like literally like a grenade you're like delete the number did he delete the number two uh he deleted the text um so she can't find the number she has to remember the number i sent a message to the guy about how he was scum for calling somebody else's girlfriend baby and then i deleted the messages and blocked the number okay so she has to now it had the name on there though i looked at the name again and suddenly remembered my girlfriend had mumbled it and something about chocolate in her sleep the other night okay so for her now to know what has happened she has to look up this number that she no longer has because he deleted the messages or was it a name deleted the messages it's just important because how is she going to find out yeah unless he tells her he has to tell her in person or on another messaging app part of me doesn't really care how she finds out she's cheating on her partner you know what i mean it's like like we don't know that don't we this is what this all he all we know is he looked through all these messages they had it could have been like they had a lot of baby princess sending lots of love baby princess but i will say lots of love and hugs and kisses does not sound like no it does she that sounds like it doesn't like an old woman yeah it sounds like an old yeah what is this it sounds like like an old it could be like a grandma but she saw the name he saw the name it could be a grandpa i don't know man but he doesn't either he should have got more information before i don't know love you princess i'll also say love you princess good night with a heart also doesn't sound like like i don't know i would i would it's like you're you're fair to be like hey i got you saw this text whatever it doesn't sound like any of you scroll through the text history which i also am like hey man like slow down yeah but but after you to respond and then delete message to do all of that is like more information like and now what are you gonna bring it up with her and be like hey i saw this number and i texted them something crazy then block the number without talking and if you're at a point in a relationship where you've already had enough issues where you're like oh they're cheating i know 100 then it's like well then all right what why were you here like start start asking yourself but if this is oh there was no sign of this whatever and then i'm gonna jump to all that instead of talking to your partner communication if your first thought is not i'm gonna talk to my partner because we have good communication yeah then you should really analyze that within yourself um the verdict was asshole there's no update well we gotta read some comments okay wait wait wait so there might be there might be yeah but guys comments comments you're the asshole are you sure it's a guy even if it was you should have talked to her about it instead of texting back 3 000 upvotes someone said yep that's why i questioned if he truly knew it was a man my friends and i always text each other like this someone said lol waiting for the follow-up where he finds out it was actually the girl's mom oh and you're the asshole any text like that even if i if i saw courtney's phone like you know when you're driving on the car like text will come up on the car whatever and if it's just like it's like you look so hot i'd be just like oh which one like is it amanda like is it like i would just assume it's yeah is it chance um so but also hugs and kisses is also very grandma hugs and kisses honestly i'd get the ick anybody i'm dating says hugs and kisses that's why i don't think it's i go i think they want to be it's kind of giving grandma giving old someone's lastly said maybe they're sleeping with someone old they couldn't no no i'm kidding someone said do you not think it's odd that she would ask you to get on her phone if she's having an affair i mean this is definitely weird but you need to talk to her she could be cheating and trying to get caught she could be dumb or this could be something else entirely if it's the latter you're going to get dumped anyway for this yeah here it comes here it comes ready watch it's the pre-update are you ready watch pre-update face okay here's the pre-update glow i i all right all right update uh angela is putting her arm through it again you look good girl well damn it's an update ew okay it's been a long day it's been a long it has been a long day all right what do we think who final bets on who it actually was yeah i like those thank you i think grandma i think i think grandma we're going with grandma or a gen older generation i'm going grandpa whoa i'm going like weird new friend who's old like a new friend i'm gonna say like childhood friend like a like a girlfriend yeah or like gay bestie because maybe he heard his name maybe it's like a chance situation name that's interesting but also what if it's a girl like a girl named sam like that's a problem like casey yeah like i don't know all right george or she's cheating or she's cheating or she's cheating which is also or it was always a pillow the whole time i do agree with the sentiment though of like why would she hand you your phone her phone yeah like yeah that makes sense all right update so it turned out i fucked up big time yeah my girlfriend came here as an international student and has relatives from other cultures it turns out that what i thought was the affair partner's name was actually the word for aunt damn i was so close uh her elderly aunt that helped raise her which is why the messages were so affectionate apparently she makes a mean chocolate cake which my girlfriend has been dreaming about the other night i thought this was complete bs i'm sorry like a cartoon it must be it must be so good chocolate cake and this guy's like she's fucking somebody else yeah fucking some guy who's chocolate cake i thought this was complete bs but my girlfriend made me read through all her messages from the beginning and i realized she was telling the truth my girlfriend is pissed apparently her aunt has been crying because of the message i sent and because i blocked the number it took a while to clear the situation up she cursed me out for five minutes and said i'm a total scumbag and it's over and then kicked me out thanks a lot reddit yeah it's reddit's fault wait op is blaming reddit yeah i don't know maybe just like thanks a lot reddit like like like thanks for nothing we didn't stop there's one comment that says you're thanking us for your fuck up or for telling you that you fucked up i love that just like dude what the fuck yeah um well yeah there you go we called the aunt yeah well i guess we said grandma we said grandma but we you nailed it of like old person yes hugs and kisses princess was a dead he really did because i'm like he read through this text history and all it was taking was seeing hugs and kids like he wasn't looking through the actual context of the conversation clearly he just jumped immediately to the conclusion he screwed up i'm really stuck on like her loving that chocolate cake and saying it in her sleep i gotta try this literally an episode of spongebob i need to try this chocolate cake it must be so good damn dark chocolate away this is definitely the am i the x post for sure which are always my favorite yeah that was tough it shows that no matter i am a believer like no matter what you're doing you're going to do it no matter how the situation looks unless it's like abundantly clear like in front of you you talk to your partner first you you try to do that first no matter what right um because yeah like there's there's the chance that you're misunderstanding it you're you're not seeing the real picture here and then you get to save that he could fully be with his partner still had he just from that first text gone and said hey you got this text like what's what's the situation who is that who is that and she would have been like that's my aunt that's my culture's name for aunt and then he'd be like understood now let's have sex and fall in love and that's how relationships when you communicate that's how they work yeah pretty much should have just left it at the joke no no no that was good yeah thanks hey that was good this episode of red stories is sponsored by zoc doc i had a doctor who i just didn't vibe with it wasn't because they were bad at their job it was just that their method of communication and their bedside manner didn't align with what i was looking for that's why i started using zoc doc zoc doc lets you search and compare high quality in-network doctors i really love that i can see real patient reviews with detailed doctor profiles i was able to choose the doctor that's right for me and my comfortability now i love all my doctors and i actually don't mind going to my appointments and with 150 000 providers with 200 plus specialties across all 50 states i'm sure to find someone who is in my insurance network near my home and within a time frame that works for me i had pushed off doctor's appointments for years until i downloaded zoc doc and then i had all my doctor's appointments set up within a week your health matters and taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated find and book the right doctor with zoc doc head to zocdoc.com pit reddit to get started and check that appointment off your to-do list that's zocdoc.com now back to the show our next story was posted on am i the asshole uh yesterday oh my god everybody posted like crazy mercury came out of retrograde and everyone's like everybody's like you know what i gotta get on reddit yeah all right this was posted uh yesterday am i the asshole for making my 20 year old friend cry over a prank we got ourselves a prank here ain't prank this sounds like 20 year old friend made them cry over a prank sounds like smash okay interesting so context me 20 and some friends 20 recently went to the movies to watch the new spider-man movie why are they giving the context of 20 like i don't know like my 20 year old friends like you're also like fucking cool you're young fuck off all right cool man you're 20 okay you can't go into a bar yeah okay you can't gamble yeah okay okay you can't lose your life savings playing blackjack yeah or double your life savings playing drink or yeah that's right let's go shane we should go to vegas when we played flip seven fans were genuinely commenting being like i think shane might have a gambling problem he looks so excited i promise you i hate gambling i do want to do it with a heart rate monitor on because that is genius like you gotta you gotta throw those things out there man i do have you told spencer that i tell him shit every day she tells him a lot we need to get that man to fucking listen thank you he but he he has trouble listening to women he needs a translator hey that's fact next i'm kidding just kidding he's the best he would laugh at that you'd love that all right so context me 20 and some friends 20 recently went to the movies to watch the new spider-man movie why'd you look at me because i know you're excited to see it tomorrow yeah everything went well until i dropped off my friend's girlfriend i'll call him jack to her house before we dropped her off on the drive to her house i was like oh my god i'm gonna drive to her place me and my friend jack were arguing over the movie so to get back at him i thought it would be funny to jokingly leave him at his girlfriend's house and drive away when he needed to be home for work the next day so I did just that. Once he got out of the car to kiss his girlfriend, I reached over the seat, closed the door, and drove away with my other friend while she's in the back seat. Two minutes pass while me and my friend are just laughing the whole time, and eventually he calls me to say, ha ha, funny, come get me now. I decided to push and told him, dude, I'm already on the highway. I can't turn back now. He doesn't believe me until my other friend joins in on the joke and tells him that, yeah, we're on the highway. It's too late now. He eventually believes her since she's not usually the type to go along with jokes like this. While this is happening, me and her are just laughing maniacally. We thought it was hilarious how he went quiet and was telling us to turn back, and we kept laughing until his voice starts cracking and eventually started crying, begging us to come get him. As soon as I heard him crying, I instantly told him, relax, man, I'm right around the corner, and went and picked him up. He gets in the car, and he's trying not to cry while he's saying, that wasn't funny, man, I thought you left me. Me and my friend were apologizing, but we didn't understand why he was crying, over that. It's not like he was deserted in the middle of nowhere. He was in a suburban area with his phone. Worst case scenario, he could have gotten an Uber for $20 to $30. Eventually, after a long and kind of awkward ride back, I get out and apologize to him again. He kind of accepted my apology, and I told him goodnight. On the way back, while I was dropping off my other friend, me and my friend were both confused why he was crying. Maybe it reminded him of a bad part of his childhood. He's told us before his mother was abusive, so he felt super bad. I don't really know what to do now. I already apologized to him. I don't know what to do now. I don't know what to But having two of your friends see you cry over a prank like this must be really embarrassing, so I don't know how to approach him again. Am I the asshole? They put this on, am I the devil? Yeah. I just hate pranks. I do hate pranks. I hate pranks, but I'm- This feels like such a stereotypical, like, you guys are dumb, 20-year-olds. Like, I hate it. I hate it. No, no, I agree. Like, this is a mean prank, and it's mean to make someone feel like that. Also, sometimes people are struggling, right? Especially 20 years old. Like, sometimes $30, that would ruin me. That would ruin me. I'm sorry, like, paying for college, paying for shit, like, I can't, or even if you're working a minimum wage job at 20 years old, that ruins you. That's like, could be two to three to four hours of work, depending on where you're working. That's true. Yeah, that's true. That's a whole shift. Now I'm going, now I just work all four hours to have an Uber home? I'm upset. No, yeah, but he does turn around and he gets him, right? He turns around and gets him. Once he starts crying, because he's like, okay, man. At first, he was like, okay, guys, come on. Like, sometimes when you're paying rent, you're out. You're like, I got $40 in my bank account total. Like, that's going to ruin me. I guess I'm not eating next week. I think I'm also, I hate pranks that are like, you have no choice but to be like, okay, like, okay, all right. It's like, hey, we left you. It's like, okay, man, I got good prank, funny. And they're like, no, we're leaving you. We're leaving you. And they just, to keep pushing until it's like, what was the result you were hoping for? Like, what's the funny thing you're laughing at? Yeah. And it's also like, you were already having a fight before this. It's not like this, it's not like this prank came out of a good place. That's true. I forgot about that. I forgot about good callback. This prank is now after a fight, which it doesn't feel like a prank. I forgot about that. Or you're already feeling isolated. You're already feeling isolated and distant. And so, yeah, we're arguing over the movie. So to get back at him. And now you're getting punished. I thought it would be funny. Yes, you're right. It's not, oh, I thought it'd be funny. It's like, no, you're getting back at him. No, that's fucked up. You guys were mad at him. So you got back at him. You got in a fight over the Spider-Man movie. Hearing you read that, I was like, when they said they were laughing maniacally, I'm like, name a time someone's laughed maniacally and it's okay. Yeah. You know who laughs maniacally? Green Goblin. Nice. Hey, really good. Yeah. Thank you. That's Spider-Man. It just also, he's probably crying not because it's like, oh, I'm about to be left there. It's also like, oh shit, my friends suck and they hate me. No, my friends in middle school, there was this awful trend that was going around. Did you guys ever get ditched? Is that similar to this? Where you would be like in, like at the movies or at the mall and all of your friends at one time all decided to just ditch you. I hate that. And it was the saddest thing ever. I don't get that shit. It's just like, hey, what if we'd be really mean? No, we got, I got nugged, which is where you take someone's backpack, you dump everything out, turn it inside out, put it back in, zip it, and then zip tie the zipper. So it looks like a chicken nugget. How does that look like a chicken nugget? A backpack inside out looks like a chicken nugget. Trust me. And if you can, and if you know, a lot of people are like in an assembly or at gym, you can nug like eight people in a row. So there's just like a big row of chicken nuggets. That's so disrespectful. It's so disrespectful. And you're like, oh fuck, I got nugged. If it was me and a bunch of people, then it's funny. It's funny. Yeah. Because you're not singled out. Yeah. I can nug the shit out of that. But also, it just feels like a lot of work on the prank. It's a lot of work. You just like put a bunch of stuff in. Yeah, but it's freaking funny. If you're pranked alongside of a bunch of other people, then it feels like there's a community event and you actually feel a part of something. We all got nugged. Like, oh man, we all got nugged. But if you're singled out, then it's just like, oh fuck, like. But field trip, you're like, when you're at a field trip, you can do the whole thing in nuggets. Yeah. And you know what? If you're in high school, you don't have to zip tie it, but go nug somebody. Don't do that. Do it. Yeah, I don't know. Do it. I want them to know it was me. Some comments here. Someone said, you're the asshole. Pranks are only funny if they are funny to the one being pranked. Otherwise, you're just being an ass. I totally agree with that. We say that every day over here. Someone said, you know, the saddest part of all this is that you actually have to ask. So I'm going to make it plain. I don't understand why anyone would ever be friends with either of you. The fact you would act that way, knowing that about his past is disgusting. In case that wasn't clear enough. Yes, you are. And yes, having friends like you is the ultimate embarrassment. I forgot about the past. You add that. Like, I don't think it needs the past. I think that's mean to do to anyone. Like, it's mean. And like, you're 20. Like, you're not in high school. Like, it's mean to do in high school. But it's like, dude, you're 20, man. Like, stop doing this shit. Like, just stop. Like, I know it's hard to have a boring personality, but maybe if you sit in it, you'll be able to, like, find other things. Yeah. Yeah. OP left a comment. It's basically an update. They left a big comment. They said, I've realized I've definitely fucked up and will try to make it up to him. I did not know that it would get that reaction out of him. I assumed he'd just be like, man, fuck you and laugh it off as he usually does. But this time it must have struck something which I didn't want. I would never take a prank as far as crying on purpose. I feel like some of you aren't even reading the whole story before commenting. Some people are saying I doubled down after I heard his voice crack. I did not. Some of you are telling me to apologize. I already did on the call while I was picking him up when I picked him up and on the car ride back to his place. And again, after I dropped him off, he showed no signs of panicking up until his voice suddenly started cracking and crying, which me and my friends instantly stopped laughing and started apologizing to him while picking him up. Also, the reason why I decided to prank him is because he kept trying to push and question me on why I didn't find the movie good and instead just found it. He wanted more information out of me because he cares about me and my opinion. God, that makes me just so annoyed. Yeah, that really kind of solidified it. Look, we don't have any information on this guy, but I don't know. And I wouldn't say it was good. It was just entertaining. I hate when people do that. It wasn't good. It was entertaining. Okay, well, you know what? Guess what it's supposed to do. You went to a Sony Marvel movie and you were like, yeah, it was just entertaining. That's the whole point. I promise you. I promise you. The studio execs were like, here's our goal. And they were like, if it's entertaining, money. They don't even fucking care. You bought the ticket. You're talking about it. Yeah, to be honest, the studio execs don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck about it. It's just like, you're not going to see a fucking Oscar winning movie. You're not going for the acting. You're not going for the screenwriting. You're going for Spider-Man kicking the shit out of some villains. Me walking out of Minions going, yeah, I didn't think it was good. I'm not a monster. It was entertaining. I thought it was entertaining. I thought it was entertaining, you know. But I still think Odyssey's probably going to win the Oscar. But Minions is up there. No, I still, the line I can't get over is him being like, so to get back at him. I'm like, you feel like you betrayed yourself on that one. You. Yeah. You're not even reading the whole story. No, we read. Yeah, I don't like his response either. It's just like, hey, dude, you're being a shitty person. It also must suck to like, get all these verdicts and then you get on this show and we're like, no, we read the whole story. We read the whole thing. And we still, ow, doubling down too, being like, you're wrong. In the comment. Yeah. And also being like, I already apologized. I can't do it again. Yeah, it's like, come on. Hello? I feel like it's also not just like, apologize. It's like, you need to change your ways. Like, you need to be a better friend to this person. Yeah. And really think about your behavior. And I want to hear that apology too. Yeah. I'm sorry your feelings got hurt. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's a lot of like, oh, sorry, dude. Sorry, I'm missing the accountability here. I know you didn't find the prank funny, but it was entertaining. Yeah. It was entertaining. God. From this perspective, that was crazy. Shit, January 22nd. 31st. POV, you're on the Jurassic Park ride. That's good. Whoa, they get. So close to you. They do. The universal one. Yeah, that'd be fun if there was a Smosh ride and it's just a. Somebody's like. Animatronics of us just coming out. Just going, okay. I'm saying a haunted house. We could do this shit out of a haunted house. You're at Universal. You're like, Smosh haunted maze. So, like, in the back, they have this, like, Smosh haunted maze. And it's you doing your baby walk. Oh, that's good. Yeah. This episode of Reddit Stories is sponsored by Wayfair. I walked into my home the other day, and I was just feeling a little blah about it. Wasn't feeling homey or warm. So I decided I needed a little upgrade, which is why I use Wayfair. Wayfair has products and furniture that fit my style and budget with quality items that are hand-vetted by product specialists using 10-point quality inspection. And with 20 million verified five-star reviews, I promise you will find something perfect for your home. When you're a Wayfair rewards member, you get 5% back on every purchase. The first space that I'm updating is my dining area. I really needed a new table, and with Wayfair's filters, I was able to find a table with specific size, shape, color, and style that worked for my space. Now my home feels like my home. Transform your space with pieces that hold up to real life. Join Wayfair Rewards today and get 5% back on every purchase. Head to Wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Now, back to the show. This next post was posted on Relationship Advice and ended up on Am I the Devil? Oh, man. That's a good pick. You're looking for advice, and then you get inflayed. It was posted on July 29th, 2026. So that's your guys' anniversary. Yeah, it's an important day. This is a 21-year-old man who writes, I'm in a relationship with a wonderful girl who's 20, wondering if I should switch to this other girl, 19. Okay, so you already lost. Wondering if I should switch. Wonder if I should switch back to, like, another. Switch? I wonder if I should switch. He's talking about it like it's an iPhone. I cannot wait to watch this back. Should I wait for the iPhone 16, or should I wait? The way your eyes went, 19. Well, he's 21. It's not, it's just. No, I'm into, like, it's funny that you went. I'm dating this girl who's 20. Should I switch to 19? Like, that's what. Switch has still got me. Switch is great. Like, you can't write such a disrespectful title and expect people to be on your side. This is, this is good. Okay. We got, we caught a good, a good Barry. Yeah, we got a good one. Hi, I really need to vent. I'll describe each one of us and the brief situation. I'll say each of the women's names, ages, and their bra sizes. Tell me what do you think are the signs in a relationship or in a person that can tell me if I should end it and switch to somebody else. A bit about me. I'm 21, IT technician, CCTV, automation, security systems, et cetera, developing a small company. Right now, it's a single man operation with possible growth to a typical small construction group. I don't care. I own about 25 acres of land. I don't care. And half of my house. Wait, I own about 25 acres of land and half of my house, living with my mother and brother. I also serve as the chairman of a social club that annually organizes a fantasy convention for around 2,000 attendees and some smaller projects. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I'm a simple man and an atheist, which might be important. Wanting a house of his own, a great family, being able to do some work every day for the company and some for the local community. My love language is providing financially and taking care of things like the house and other heavy-duty things. Also, I want to give a true romantic love with things like deep conversations, enjoying art and music together, surprise gifts, and spontaneous activities with my current girlfriend. I'm able to do maybe half of these things, but I'm not able to do half of these things. I'm able to do half of these things, but I'm not able to do half of these things. Before I switch, here's the one I'm with. That felt reminiscent of the beginning of American Psycho. He's like, I begin my day by getting in the shower with an almond rinse. Yes. All right. A bit about my current girlfriend. We've been together for about four years with a one-year gap after the second year. I don't like that he said current. Yeah. As opposed to what? If we stop him now. Is next. Sorry. We'll, you know what I mean? Okay, okay. This man's language is already, I'm like, yeah. She's 20, first year of college, studying to become a nurse with a side hustle of nail painting. She changed a lot for me, from chaotic, vulgar, and reckless with tons of partners to calm and more responsible. I feel like our relationship is great. She supports me a lot mentally when I'm stressed about my work or the social club. And that's exactly what I expect from my partner and what I love her for. I love her looks, but not exactly her style. We have the same preferences in sex life, but I hate she doesn't initiate. I love to discuss, but she always turns that into big arguments. I love that she earns money, but she's irresponsible with it. I love that we talk about our problems, but I hate when she yells. With everything, I see she tries to be better and to my liking, but I see her old self when the things get real. It's not really healthy for her to become somebody else, just because she wants to be with me, especially when I don't pressure her at all. In terms of religion, she is an actual witch. Fuck. If we don't, you have to drive us to rock the cruise. This is, out of all of the everything. Fuck, okay. Guys, let's pull it together. Give it to me. In terms of religion, she is an actual witch, doing rituals and whatnot, but somehow, she can't understand me being an atheist. I think she wants emotional support and a partner, like I do, but I'm afraid I don't know how to provide that, because comforting her and trying to offer my actual help doesn't work for her. I love her, and I think she is the one for me, but I'm not quite for her. A bit about the other girl. What other girl, dude? She is the one for me. She's a gnome. That's so good. She's a gnome. She's three foot two. Biggest tits you've ever seen. And wonderfully manicured beard. She can barely walk. She plays violin and loves music and harp. Sorry, that's just a crazy start to it. She plays violin. None of this is important information, by the way. I'm just glad I know this guy's love languages. He's telling us their resumes. So we can help him choose. Yes, and we know what he's looking for. Right, but he's choosing based on objective stuff, not on, so what relationship is better? It's just like, okay, but here's her traits. She plays violin. He's showing us two character charts and being like, all right, so here's their stats. She plays violin and loves music and art. She finished high school and music school, and now she has applied to music college. She's a dedicated Catholic, but she understands and is cool with me being atheist. She's also an educator on Catholic camps. When we talked about relationships, we could see that our needs and what we offer really complete each other. We share a lot of interests and have a few friends in common. We also have the same goals in life, like building family and doing work for society. I love her relationship with art. Simple descriptions of everyday things can become a poem just like that. I love her looks and her style. I love to discuss with her about life, religion, art, or silly things. I like that she's actually calm and we can enjoy a quiet time. How did I meet the other girl and why didn't we become a couple? It happened during the gap year with my girlfriend. I've seen her on a few concerts playing violin. She always looked stunning, and I waited every time for her outside, never being able to catch her to get her number. Fortunately, she popped up on my Facebook in the people you might know section. I saw that we have two common friends and I asked them about her. I was able to get her number and we started texting a lot. She comes from a traditional family, so she couldn't go on a date just like that, but she invited me to this small concert saying that we could talk in person for a bit after. After I arrived at the concert, one of her friends recognized me. And told her that I'm here. The moment she turned her eyes to me, I almost fainted and I felt stressed for the first time in a long, long time. We started talking and texting on a daily basis and we went on a few dates after some time. She was even able to convince her parents to let her go with me to this Polish equivalent of prom. And it became the party of my life, mainly because of her. After the party, we started to fall apart a bit. Later, she admitted that it was because of her ex getting into her life again. During this time, I got back with my current girlfriend, but after three months, she told me that her ex was trying to get back with her and ruin her life because she broke up with him, but was finally able to get rid of him once and for all. I was sad because I would have been able to help her or maybe wait for the right time and become a couple, but it was too late. Recently, I started texting a bit as friends with the other girl. I told my girlfriend about it. I hate to hide things. I know she's single and I feel like she wants us to give us the chance that we lost. I'm afraid I started to develop some feelings for her again. I find myself constantly looking at our pictures and thinking about her. I started to really consider breaking up with my girlfriend for the other girl. I know I'm only 21, but losing my father at 11 forced me to become responsible at a young age. Right now, I feel like an old man that's only 21, and that's why I wanna pick the right woman early and settle. I would appreciate any advice on which things can tell me if I should switch and would love to hear your stories on how switching turned out for you. My guy, you are so not ready to settle. All right, first off, this guy, obviously, he thinks he's an old man. He is so far away from being ready to be. No, he's barely a young man. He's not even a young man. I'd say barely a man. Yeah. No, he's a boy. 20 years, 21, you're like barely. He's a boy. Well, in his mind, he's a boy. It's very clear that English is not OP's first language. I'm guessing he might be Polish or Eastern European. I can just tell in the translation. But some of this information, the way it's given is so funny to me. Just like, okay, so my first girl, she's a witch, is just killing me. That was so funny. The way he's talking just about like, oh, I can switch in either one of these. I can marry and be for the rest of my life. It's like you're talking about them as if they have no agency over themselves. Oh, there's not even an ounce of that. Yeah, it's like, come on, man. And he's not really talking about their relationship. He's just talking about them. Nothing to do with their time together. It's like a dress to impress where he's like just listing things about each person. So he's been in this relationship with the first girl for four years. So since high school. So since they were like middle teenagers. And so that's the only relationship he knows. So he's thinking like, oh, I can switch to this other girl and we'll be together forever. It's just like, nah, man. That's not how it works. You're going to like talk to this guy in 10 years after he goes through some breakups and some other crazy shit. So what they don't tell you about relationships, you have to, I know that, no, this sounds dumb, but you have to start over every new relationship. It's not like, oh, I got so far in this last relationship. I'm ready for the next one. It's like, I have to start from scratch all over again. You grow as a person, but. Totally. It's a link. Totally. It's, there's so much experience you gain, whether you're in relationships or not. You just gain experience in life that you need and you understand yourself better. And just because you got to that point with someone before, you still have to hit all the checkpoints. Yeah. You are, this guy is so far from what it's going to take. Dude, my God. Like, I don't even know where to begin. The amount of times in your life that you're going to think you have it all figured out. And then you kind of go through this threshold where you go, oh shit, I have nothing figured out. Yes, 100%. It sucks every time, but you kind of need it to happen every time. And the more you deny that, you're just going to hinder yourself. But he's in that stage, like, my hope for this guy, the best case scenario is that he wakes up, he meets, he has. He has the right friend, has the right mentor. I know it's just fucking hard nowadays, but like something or someone wakes him up to like, oh my God, I need to fucking change. But also some people never do that. I mean, it could be this Reddit thread. Do they rip him a new one in the comments? Let's see. Someone says, do your wonderful girl a favor and switch to the other girl. Nobody deserves to be a second choice. People aren't objects that you can just switch and replace. Neither of these relationships are going to work out for you. This reminded me. That comment reminds me of what I was thinking, which is it reminds me of love is blind when they're like, who's your number one? I'm liking my number two though. And you're like, why are they do? It's just, it's sickening. It's like kind of sickening to me. I'm just like, oh, um, someone said, I think he should do them both a favor and leave them alone at 21. I think that basically everyone should be single exploring and getting to know themselves. The way this guy talks about women is proof that he needs to grow up a lot before trying to be in a real relationship. Someone said advice. My Nana gave me. If a man is ever having a hard time choosing between you and another woman, let him pick the other woman because he doesn't actually love either of you. And it's better to have that be someone else's problem than yours. Give the full baby away. Don't cut it in half. Don't cut it. There's a biblical reference. Like this guy's talking about like, I don't like hiding things. I'm like where you're already at to me is like basic is cheating. Like you're already sitting here going, oh yeah, well I'm texting her as a friend. I'm like, you're sitting here telling us you're, you're thinking about switching. So good. Switching to her. Intention. You're cheating. That's cheating to me. Like, come on, man. Like you're keeping her on the side. That's that's your, what did you call it? Tag in. You called it tag in one time. They're like, oh, there, there was, I was talking to a boy and immediately they switched to another relationship. And I was like, oh, I was sitting on the bench, sitting on the bench, a little sports reference for my friends. She loves, she loves it. You can't get enough. You had that person in the driveway. You had him in the dugout, the dugout. That's what you said. You had him in the damn dugout. Oh, this is tough. Tough. Okay. OP left a comment and I do think this is important. He says, English is not my first language. And I see now that switching is probably the worst word I could use. Thank you for your advice. Now I really see that I should go to therapy, talk with, about it with my girlfriend, apologize, and maybe do some time alone. Yeah. I'd say like the word switching threw us all off. We can, we can, we can give him some grace because English is not his first language. I still am like, I don't like, even in the best of terms of like, you know, I'm in this relationship, but I really think, should I talk to this other person? I'm like, yeah. And it was the way, it might not be the words, but it was the way each woman was spoken about just didn't sound personal at all. It sounded very like a baseball card where it was like, interests. That's why I like made the bra size joke. Cause I'm like, it literally sounded like he was just listing their facts. That's also like, there's in different cultures, a lot of things that you have to like hit in order to be like, sure. Like there's like, is he a doctor? Sure, sure. Can he provide, like, is he good with money? What's his relationship with his mother? No, and that makes sense. I think the thing that I'm just hitting on is him at the end being like, yeah, so I'm trying to decide between these two girls and I really want to settle down like now in my life. And I'm like, those conflict so badly. Like, listen to yourself, man. You're talking about, oh, I should I not be with this girl I've been with for four years and just switch over to this girl that I've been talking to for like a couple months and marry her. And so I'm like, you are so naive. Yes. But that comment's great. Sounds like he really. Yeah. You know, he does. He does sound like he's reflecting a little bit. And hopefully he really goes through with that. Above board. Who are you guys picking? You pick the witch. You pick the witch. Witch or violin? You don't want to be cursed. You pick the witch or you let the witch down really well. You gotta let the witch down real well. Did you know Etsy like shut down all the witches? Whoa, really? And I kept thinking. I was like, could you imagine how scary to do that? To be this company and be like, okay, we're going to anger. We're going to we're going to anger a lot of witches. Yeah. We're going to we're going to shut this part of the app off. I would not be able to sleep that night. Like all these like guys in suits going, cut them off. Cutting off the witches. All right. Our next story. Our final story. This was posted. This ended up on Am I the Devil? And it started off in the subreddit cooking. How? I love the way they go. Oh, no. That's like when you see a documentary. It starts. It was just like we were we were so in love. Yeah. And then you're like, I didn't know. This was posted in November of 2025. Oh. What the heck? Yeah. Crazy. Crazy. Never forget. Will my entire party get sick from eating my mashed potatoes? Did somebody come inside the potatoes? That would make you sick. Jesus. That'd make me lick my lip. These mashed potatoes were delicious. Oh, my God. It's so hard not to push you. So I made a bunch of mashed potatoes with milk. I needed to emphasize that they wrote a bunch of O's. I'm going to read all the typos in this as well. Yeah. Milk, sour scream and cheese last night and seemed to have forgotten about the crucial step of refrigeration. This is a question about any possible outcomes of those who indulged in these delicious but slightly tart mashed potatoes. They were only on the countertop for 10-ish hours before I refrigerated them for eight, then reheated for the party. If you were wondering how they taste, I've been asked multiple times if I added lemon juice. Oh. Am I cooked? Oh, no. Oh. She's not the devil. She's worse. And also, mashed potatoes, y'all know I love potatoes. And if you're going to fuck up mashed potatoes. You can't do that. I will never forgive you. Because you're fucking up the food that everyone is going to eat. Yeah. Like, nobody's going to avoid that. That's the, it's supposed to be the thing that is at least the saving grace, right? Like, something else is overcooked. The meat isn't that great. You have the mashed potatoes. Yeah. At least you have the mashed potatoes. And mind you, this is November 16th. So, this is probably some sort of early Thanksgiving. Yeah, because there's like a cheese omelette. It's like a casserole. Oh, so you're really expecting good mashed potatoes. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. Comments. Why would you ask this after feeding them? Yeah. Someone said 10 hours. Someone said, if I did this for mashed potatoes that only I would eat, would I take this chance? Probably not. Using that same logic, would I risk? Would I risk serving it for my entire party? Absolutely not. I would not risk me being the reason why someone gets violently ill. This is the very reason why I don't participate in potlucks at work. Let us know the end result. OP responded, looking back, I should have 100% not served them. But when I tried them before the party, I thought they were fine. Just a little off. It wasn't until someone brought to my attention that it was probably spoiled milk. It seems everyone is okay, though. No emergencies were made. Someone said with music, you can't eat at everyone's. Everybody's house. Seriously, this is why I'm so skeptical of potlucks and similar. This dumb fuck could literally kill people. Even if no one dies, you still don't want people puking their guts up either. Just go to the grocery store and buy some replacement mashed potatoes. Someone put in quotations, sour scream. Well, there's the real problem. Yeah, dude. Don't feed people food that could be spoiled. Oh, my God. That. You could go so easily buy some mashed potatoes. And you tell the story and be like, I'm so sorry. I left them out on the counter. - Fucked up. - But you don't have to buy them. You could just get rid of them of those. And there's, oh, look, no potatoes. No, there has to be potatoes. If you want, you can easily go to a grocery store and buy some mashed potatoes. And those are probably going to slap really hard. That store-bought stuff is really good. Yeah. I hate how good it is. Anyways, this person tried to poison people. It's crazy there's ever been, like, a Friendsgiving movie. Huh. We'll get on that. Just something to think about. Um. This is, the lemon mashed potatoes makes me want to die. Okay, what about lemon rosemary mashed potatoes? Ooh. That actually. Next to chicken. Next to a lemon. Lemon rosemary chicken I like. Yeah. I like my mashed potatoes to be mashed potatoes. Lemon doesn't feel like it's, like, a potato thing. Me either. No, that's true. Me either. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. I'm trying to think of, like, types of mashed potatoes. I love, like, a good sweet potato mashed situation with the, like, marshmallows on top and everything. Oh, yeah. Dude, that can get crazy. Or, like, I'm gonna make, uh, loaded mashed potatoes. Oh, wait, what's your potato thing? The loaded mashed potatoes. Oh, my God. Tell him what it's like. It's a loaded mashed potato casserole. So it's just, like, sour cream, cheddar. Ooh, okay. Actually, did I use cheddar last time? I don't know. I might have used green. There's really not a cheese that doesn't work. Green onions, bacon. You just stir it in. Mash the potatoes. It's nuts. God damn. It's really good. A lot of garlic. I also put rosemary, sage, and thyme in there, too. Wow. So they're, like, flavor. Whenever I'm, like, cooking for people or anything like that, I am so nervous. Me, too. I'm so, like, conscientious of, like, I want to make sure, like, what I'm making people is good and safe. Like, I don't know why I'm, like, I hope I don't accidentally give someone food poisoning. Like, that's such a fear. I made salmon for me and my friend, and I have a lemon tree outside, and I, like, grabbed it, and I didn't realize that, like, I've never used the lemon tree. I always just buy a lemon. And it was a sour lemon, and it, like, kind of made the salmon, like, a little sour, and I literally was, like, I also, I was so freaked out that it fucked the salmon or just, like, even that. That's so fucked up. But it's just, like, I don't know. Cooking for somebody, I get so. I'm the same way. I'm very much like. Not, like, trying to, like, please them, but, like, I just don't want to make them sick. Yeah. That's the worst possible thing. Do you usually make yourself sick? No. So why would you make other people sick? It's just scary. It's an irrational thought. I have the irrational thought, too, when I've had people over and someone's, like, oh, like, I'm, like, oh, I could make you a cocktail, and they're, like, oh, for sure. And I'm so, like, I want to make sure the measurement's right. I don't want to make someone, like, actually more drunk than they, like, want. Sure, yeah. Like, I want to make sure it's, like, perfectly right. Okay, just to let you know, if we're over, over serve us. Heavy hand. Heavy hand. No, but I'm just, like, I want to make sure, like, I put lemon in the wine. Well, they're making the lemon wine. Oh. Dina tried it. Lemon wine? Lemon wine? They're making wine out of lemons. Like, lemon chow? No, like, instead of grapes, they're using lemons. And is it good? It is. So that's what they say when you have lemons make wine. Now we can. There you go. There we go. That's what Jesus said. That is what Jesus said in actually. Jesus said water. He said, I don't need the grapes. I don't need the lemons. Give me the water. I'll make it in the water. You like that? I love that. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's it for our devils today. Wow. Thank you both for joining me. Yeah. And for this wild ride. Thank you so much. So many good dates. Thank you for having us before you switch out with other people. Yeah. Yeah. Let us know if I should switch out to someone else. No. And you will. That's kind of the essence of the show. I guess that is. Oh, that's true. True. Yeah, when it auto plays. What if it auto plays? What if someone's listening to this and it auto plays to another episode where you both are here? That would be so awesome. That would be so sick. If it auto plays to another episode with them both here, comment down below on that video. I won. Okay. Nice. Do that. Anyways, thank you both. And thank you all for watching. We'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye. Lemon, pancakes. Oh, lemon ricotta pancakes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lemon ricotta potato pancakes. Dude, Selena had pancakes with corn on them recently. Bye. In Albuquerque they have the blue corn pancakes. Oh, well that sounds amazing. Blue corn. Slaps so hard, dude. Thanks again to DoorDash for sponsoring this episode. Needed that delivered. DoorDash. Order now.