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Speaker 7Hello, my loves. It is Lala Kent. I am here with Amber Childers and Sally Carson. Hello. Hello, babes. Hello. Two of my most favorite women in the world. We decided to do this bonus episode because it's been an important topic for a very long time. But because of everything happening at Cornell with the Cornell 57 and Jane Doe, we just all felt very compelled to get on a mic and discuss our thoughts. And before we even jump in, I find it very important to state that Jane Doe is everywhere, right? Yeah. Because this has made headlines. It's all over our algorithms. It is all consuming. It's very triggering. I don't want people who have been through this. I have friends who have been through it. Amber, I know you have friends. Sally, I'm sure you do as well. Right. That Jane Doe, in this case, is representing every single woman who has been through a horrendous rape, sexual assault. And I just don't want it to get lost in us focusing on this case and this case only. So we asked you guys, I opened up the comments section because I know this has affected many people. I have a friend, Janet, who opened up about her experience last season on The Valley. I was so proud of her. It opened up a lot of conversations that, you know, as a mother of two little girls, I just, you know, I'm in fear. I'm in a lot of fear. Same. Yeah. And Amber, you have kids that are of this age where they're like going out
Speaker 8with their friends. Yeah. I mean, I've dealt with some stuff even in middle school with my oldest one that was a big eye-opener of how important it is. And we'll dive into it of just teaching your kids what consent is, right? And how important it is to be able to say no and be okay with no and. And no is a full sentence.
Speaker 7Yeah. Yeah. Sally and I have a podcast called Sex Unlocked. And we have a heyday doing it. It is very sex positive. We talk about it all. It is very unfiltered. It is so important for Sally and I to state that when we do that podcast, the biggest piece that I think is not spoken about is the fact that there is consent involved in every story that we talk about. Absolutely. And I think because we're doing this episode, it just made sense to not really have it as a podcast for Untraditionally La La and Unlikely Affair. It just needed to be an episode of its own where the three of us come together and have an important conversation. So I just want to talk about the latest facts on the Cornell case. Jane Doe alleges that seven men drugged and assaulted her for several hours in October 2024 at their country. That was on campus. There were no criminal charges that were ever filed against the men. Those named in the lawsuit have denied all wrongdoing. Cornell University is also named as a defendant in Doe's suit. The university has maintained that Cornell University police investigated the case thoroughly and that the school held its own Title IX investigation. A Title IX investigation is just basically an investigation that takes place on campus. There's no. There's no outside investigation, which as far as, you know, today, which is what, October 7th? I saw on the news that Cornell is still, you know, opposing them bringing an outside investigation, which to me screams we are going to maintain trying to cover this shit up, which does not fly with me or a lot of people that I've seen on the internet. In the weeks that have followed the lawsuit's filings, students have protested the university's response to the case. I loved seeing. I loved seeing this this morning as well, that people, a part of the faculty, have joined in with all of their signs. I'm like, you fucking go. Get them. New York Governor Kathy Hochul appointed State Attorney General Letitia James to lead criminal investigation into the rape case after sharp criticism of its handling. The case also has renewed national conversations over consent and sexual assault on college campuses. So some of you guys wrote in. And I wish that I could read everything. I wish that I could read every single comment because there were so many women that wrote in, I am Jane Doe. Do you want to read the comments, Amber?
Speaker 8Yeah, I'll read the comments. So some of the comments that we just grabbed from you guys are, I posted about my support for her and my own story of SA and oh boy, the comments are disgusting. Saying it louder for people in the back, if you are deemed medically incapacitated, you cannot give consent. And that's something obviously we just talked about. This case fills me with so much rage. I could barely contain it. I hate this world we live in. After Brock Turner was left off easy, only serving three months of a six-month conviction, it only opened the door and sent the message that this was okay behavior, makes me sick. These kids need to be expelled and need to be locked up for a long time. God protect me from men who defend rapists. I don't even want to breathe the same air, let alone be friends with them. Why don't women report these things?
Speaker 9You're seeing why in real time. Yeah. It's true. And then thank you for addressing this. Those are just some of the comments that you received.
Speaker 7You know, it's just so true though.
Speaker 10It's so true. I mean, I am also Jane Doe. I am about to start crying because this fills me with so much rage too. And I didn't speak up for eight years. I'm about to start crying. It's okay. It's just really hard. It's hard to talk about because, you know, and I open up about it this season on Southern Charm. Like, I don't know if they're going to air it or not. people don't understand like sometimes you get out of a situation like that and I felt like it was my fault and I had a boyfriend at the time I had felt like I cheated on him like and it has taken I eight years to finally be able to tell my parents I mean I told them I told them this year and they were you know and now you can't do anything about it because it's been so long but it's just it's it's everyone's like why didn't you speak up it's so hard to speak up because people might not believe you too and you have to like face you know 50% of people being behind you and 50% of people thinking you're a liar and it's just it's hard and I like really feel for her oh sally thank you for opening up about that yeah I'm
Speaker 7really sorry that you
Speaker 9experienced that thank you I'm like shaking no thank you sally I think what I feel like enrages
Speaker 8me when you see the comments and they're women and they're cutting down other women who have experienced this and we already know like as women in this world we're a minority we always have been we've always been fighting for our rights and um but to hear other women deny you of your experience and make you feel like you're crazy I mean that is that's has to be the worst feeling in the world let me because we're supposed to support each other we're not supposed to agree always with the choices that we make and like we're allowed to have our own opinions and differences and you know but at the end of the day when it comes to this kind of stuff like we have to have each other's backs and like having women in the comments say some of these things it's it's like fuck you like we do not I like I you're you're disgusting to me like for a woman to say those
Speaker 10are the people that are making it hard for others to to speak their truth you're exactly right just it's horrible what some people
Speaker 7are saying well and you know my I hate when I see a dm that says we don't know the full story I don't need to yeah I don't need to know their side when I see that she was drunk or on drugs she's in college she should be able to go and and not only is she at college she's at a top of the line school she should be able to go blow off some fucking steam and have experiences and have her community go you know she's messed up right now you know we need to baby her you know make sure she's okay that's not the okay to take her into a room and do whatever the fuck you want and let me tell you my kid comes home and tells me about an experience like this just so you know if your son is the one that did it I am Theon Greyjoying his ass all right call me fucking Ramsey Bolton your child now lives in my basement for me to torture for the rest of his life I'm not going to do that I don't care if my daughter walked in there fully fucking naked obliterated out of her mind unless she gave you the consent to say yeah I'll participate in her right frame of mind I don't care what she's wearing I don't care if she's on drugs I don't care if she's drunk keep your fucking hands off of
Speaker 8her
Speaker 7I'm shaking yeah
Speaker 8me too yeah I get it it's scary it's scary I had this experience and trust me it changed my life I don't care if my daughter walked in there fully fucking as as a as a mom and as a woman and I'm like we it is our responsibility as parents to teach our sons what no means it is the first word that they should learn as as young men growing up in this country like no means no and the fact that there was seven of them I can't even get over that there was seven and not one
Speaker 7in the group chat
Speaker 10was there 57 there was 57 guys in the group chat on the snapchat that's why
Speaker 7people are saying enough of the cornell seven it is cornell 57 because there were 57 members of that fraternity in that group chat and seven participated but let me tell you something you don't get to claim innocence if you saw that shit and did nothing and didn't speak up that makes me sick not one
Speaker 8person on that text message thread set or snapchat said that he said hey guys what the fuck this is not okay yeah not one not
Speaker 10one the shop still open makes me seriously sick to my stomach like I don't know how someone could say that and not I just don't get it I don't understand it and like not speak up especially like 57 members not one of you like insane yeah
Speaker 11I'm Melissa Jeltsin and in my new podcast what happened to her I'm bringing you new stories and conversations every week stories about women whose deaths were too quickly ruled a suicide she was starting to get worried and get scared for her safety stories of survival the only difference between me and her frankly was a little bit of luck because by all rights I should be dead cases that everyone else called closed they can't convict her right like she has so much evidence these stories all start in the same place with a woman failed by a system that didn't believe her that didn't protect her that didn't see her no child
Speaker 9should ever experience that and we were babies she did all of these brave things and came out and spoke about it and he got a year
Speaker 12you never know who that devil is because he's wearing a disguise sometimes it's listen to what
Speaker 11happened to her on the iHeartRadio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts I'm Hamza
Speaker 12and I'm Martin and we're the hosts of out of character it's a podcast I know there's a lot of them going around but why should you listen to ours well we're only the best podcast in the entire world and we talk about pretty much everything under the sun for example music we're listening to underground music trending music drama in music worlds yes sometimes we even talk about just everyday mundane situations in our lives like the cool uber driver we just had or the food we just say that is surprisingly delicious or we'll talk about the med gala and the looks that they wore are they awesome are they trendy come find out because our opinion matters and so does yours and this is a place where all of our minds can come together and connect so what are you waiting for come connect with us listen out of character from will ferrell's big money players network on the iHeartRadio app apple pods or wherever you get your podcasts
Speaker 13hey what's
Speaker 14up i'm tony gonzalez and
Speaker 13i'm october gonzalez but you can call me toby we want you to join us on our new podcast no safe words with october and tony gonzalez we get real about marriage parenthood sex divorce and all the nitty-gritty stuff we all think about but just don't say out loud i hate that job you're probably just gonna meet with some rich guy and he's gonna whisk you away and i'll never see you
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Speaker 14actor d i don't even know there's this thing is d no no no i mean like i didn't even get on the c-list like i'm not even average i'm not even passing i'm failing listen to no safe words with october and tony gonzalez part of my culture podcast network available on the iHeartRadio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast ready
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Speaker 7in the complaint she arrived at chi-fi visibly intoxicated to see her friend matthew ingalls she alleges they pressured her to take ketamine supplied marijuana and liquor and forced oral and vaginal sex she alleges further non-consensual intercourse after lopes entered she alleges he sent a snapchat invitation advertising her availability for sex repeatedly groped her despite her pushing his hand away and commanded her to snort more ketamine she alleges he grabbed her face and kissed her without consent she pushed him away all seven she alleges they poured onto her body and snorted it. She alleges they moved her into another room, instructed her to take more ketamine, then forced oral and vaginal sex while she was completely incapacitated. She says she subsequently lost consciousness.
Speaker 8All I know is this is we have a big problem in this country with universities, fraternities, and the shit that happens on these campuses.
Speaker 7We're living in a world where our children are less important than upholding the Ivy League representation and title of a university. My child can be drugged and brutally gang raped and the only thing that is going to matter is that the school still looks clean and pretty.
Speaker 8I was just looking up the stats of what, once you're released or your name's taken off a list, what is the repeat offender, right? And it is so high right now that it says one in 13 were arrested for rape and sexual assault within nine years of leaving prison. So it's just like letting these people out and they're just going to do the same thing. Not that we're talking about prison reform, I do believe in that, but it's like they're just going to go out and do the same thing if they don't get the
Speaker 7same thing. So I, for an I, you're a sex offender, you lose your dick. You no longer have access. Here's your colostomy bag. Good luck in the world. And then we never have to worry about it. Don't ever be a repeat offender.
Speaker 8And think about this.
Speaker 7And if you used your hands, those are gone too, which you most likely did. So now your hand is in dickless.
Speaker 8They do that in another country,
Speaker 7right? Well, we should start taking that on.
Speaker 8Yeah, I agree. Honestly, yeah. I have a child who's neurodivergent and has high functioning autism. Do you think that's a good thing? I don't think so. Do you think that I want to send her off to a university? No, she's already such a fragile, beautiful human being. And to put someone like that in the face of these children, because they are children with no frontal cortex that's fully developed in that kind of situation. Can you imagine going to college and trying to navigate these situations with boys? No, never, never. It makes me, and I'm like, I'm trying to navigate this with her right now saying like, do we just do like a trade school? Cause I have so much fear for going out in the world without the proper tools and, and to, to know what's like right from wrong. Like I can't even, and then you put drugs and alcohol on top of all of that. It's like, it's there. It's not safe. And when I say, when I
Speaker 7say no, I want you to know, like, you know how much I love one and she's so beautiful and bright and emotionally intelligent, but it, the real world is intense. And you want people to like you and think you're cool. And you want to be accepted. You want all of those things, no matter who you are. And then you add her being on the spectrum and you just have to baby her more than you have to baby your other child.
Speaker 8And by the way, even typical kids think of going from high school into college. You want to be accepted. You want to like, you want to be an adult, but you're scared shitless. And you do think, you don't want to do it. Your emotion. Can you imagine? Like, I know so many people who has 11th and 12th grader, like females right now. And they, it's a tough time to be a kid. And then you throw them into college. It's like, you're drowning, just trying to survive. And then imagine trying to take care of your kid when they're on the other side of the country doing that. You can't just run, get in the car and you're 20 minutes away from the college. You're like, you know, I, let me tell you something. My kid calls me.
Speaker 7I'm on a fucking rocket ship. Yeah. And your son is now deemed unsafe. Yeah. Yeah. Just so you know. Yeah. Because I ain't sitting around waiting for the justice system to do its job.
Speaker 8Even as women, as an adult, single mom that I am, when I started going out before I got sober, I was drinking and I realized I was putting myself in positions with these men that I had met on Raya or through friends. And I said to myself, like, Amber, you have children. You cannot be getting wasted. And that's one of the reasons that I got sober. I was scared. I made myself really nervous because I would drink to take the edge off of going on a date. And next thing you know, one turned into two. And then next thing you know, I'm like, wow, I, I, I couldn't say no right now. Or I couldn't get this man off of me if, even if I tried. Right. Yeah. That's scary.
Speaker 10So it doesn't matter what age you are. I mean, that's why I typically date in like a friend group. I already know the guys, which gets me in more trouble eventually, but it's so hard to trust like a random man that you meet. Of course, especially going through what you've been through, Sally. Oh, and this man was like so put together and had everything. My point is that. So you just never know. And you have to be safe out there. You know, I have
Speaker 7to give credit to men who I have been intimate with. This one specifically who we've spoken about on the podcast, Sally, you know him, we've been doing whatever it is we do for, you know, 12 plus years. And still to this day, when he comes to the house, it's not just a given that we're going to sleep together. He always asks. I have to be lucky. I have the, the luxury of saying that I have never had a man touch me in a way that I don't want them to. I've never had a man pressure me to do something that I didn't want to do. And in this day and age, it is a luxury because no matter where you're standing, you are within feet of someone who is Jane Doe. Mm hmm. And that is a really, really hard pill to swallow. And I posted this thing that was going everywhere. And it said, protect, protect our daughters. And it was crossed out and said, educate your sons. And so many people were like, do both. You need to do both. And it's like, bitch, I'm doing my part. Okay. I need people with sons to really teach them. And when I look at the comment section with these women being like, she was intoxicated. We don't know what she was wearing. Bitch, shut the fuck up. You're the problem. You're the problem. How is a woman? Could you sit there and need all the facts and not know the whole story? And we'll make a judgment when we do. You're a woman, by the way, and you can't put yourself in her position. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Speaker 8Yeah. When I hear people say things like that, I want to say to them, okay, just imagine this was your child. How would your reaction change?
Speaker 7But that's what's so wild to me that people can't take one moment to say, what if this were me? What if this was my daughter? What if this was my friend? You know? Yeah. I just can't imagine living in that world. There's not one time that I have seen something like this on the news where I've gone, gotta get all the facts first. No, just I believe you, period.
Speaker 8Versus all the other guys.
Speaker 7Do you mind reading through what happened to each of the seven?
Speaker 8Yep. Matthew expelled. Jonathan expelled. Winston, two years suspension, several semesters of disciplinary probation upon return. No contact order with Jane Doe. Required sexual harassment education. So weird. And reflection papers. Oh, reflection papers. I'd love to read that. Let's reflect. We both just like totally sat up in our chairs. Let me shift. Let me fucking shift. Gileo? Is that how? Okay. Three semesters suspension. Three semester. Okay. Two year probation. Required sexual harassment education and reflection papers. Diego had already graduated, barred from campus for three years. Scott, no contact order with Jane Doe. Required educational modules of sexual harassment, social media use of bystander intervention, plus reflection papers. Required educational modules of sexual harassment, social media use and bystander intervention. Bystander intervention, plus reflection papers.
Speaker 10That's insane. Here's your punishment. Write a paper on it.
Speaker 7I loved that someone wrote, hey, Cornell, it's S-A, S-A, not S-A. I thought you guys were in Ivy League school.
Speaker 8Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.
Speaker 7There were so many badass like threads that were coming through on my page. Like one girl that was like, I hope you're educating your son. Not to sexual assault, because I'll be teaching my daughter how to kill. By the way, yes.
Speaker 8Those are the kind of responses I want to see. Yes. That A plus. My daughter, if she decides to go to school, either London or Riley, they'll be carrying around bear spray. How about that? Yeah. Your son is now blind.
Speaker 7Yeah. Just as women, and during this time of reflection, what have you found is most important? for you to do as a woman, a mom, for your friends. do you want to go yeah I think
Speaker 8having a daughter two obviously two daughters but especially with my middle school like I'm really I set her down at the end of my bed and I I just said Riley you know that I we were talking about drugs we're talking about boys when we go to we're in bar mitzvah and bar mitzvah season so when the boys want to take you or the girls want to take you and and try to get you to do something or take a pill or or do something sexually or everyone wants to play a game like how important it is to say no and if you lose friends along the way that is okay you are going to lose friends no matter what even when you're not being pressured to do things so I think for me having daughters it's no means no and and you have to speak up and I will always always protect you always I love that yeah
Speaker 10Sally um I think it's just important for everyone like especially women to stand behind each other and to believe each other and to not judge each other and to be like welcoming arms for someone that has gone through that um because I know I mean I didn't even I didn't even tell my best girlfriends because I was so ashamed and I think it's important to just know that we're behind you if you have been through this and I think more women need to to be that way and to just believe the woman because it's a hard thing to go through and it's a hard thing to talk about
Speaker 7yeah I mean I think that that was perfectly said Sally um I second everything that you just said I second everything that you just said I am very proud to call you both my friends um oh my god you're gonna make me cry I'm very proud to be able to come in here and and do podcasts that are impactful and meaningful I really love you both a lot and you know we're really all we have so I'm just um really sad about everything that's happening if you are Jane Doe I hope you know that we back you 100% 100% um I'm so sorry I don't know why I'm crying like this
Speaker 10because
Speaker 9it matters that's why um
Speaker 10it's just everywhere it's like all around us and you just don't even know
Speaker 7sometimes no I know you're right we believe you and we are really grateful that you listened to this episode of untraditionally Lala and unlikely affairs sex unlocked we love you a lot and we'll catch you guys next week bye thanks this is an iHeart podcast guaranteed human
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