Project Vaani Ep-12 | Internalised Misogyny

[MUSIC] Find us at penilesswingers.com, and you'll find Kat's only fans pays their too. >> [LAUGH] >> You wish. [MUSIC] >> Hey, Kat. >> Yeah, Leo. >> I'm going to record one of those silly disclaimers that you put at the beginning of the podcast. >> For rental advisory sticker, let's go because this is going to be explicit. >> Yeah, we're going to talk about lots of sex. >> Lots of bad language. >> We might even have sex while on the podcast. >> We might have. >> This thing to the noise of our love making. >> There might be nudity. >> But you can't see it on the podcast. >> It's a matter. >> You can hear it. >> You can hear the nudity. >> We might corrupt you if you're under the AJT. >> That's the disclaimer. >> Don't listen. >> We're not professional. >> What else? >> And yeah, we're not professionals. >> We know nothing. >> Absolutely nothing. >> And if you want to try to sue us, well, we don't have any money either. >> Because this is bite size and commercial free. We're not trying to make any money. >> It's fun. >> I was going to say brown chicken brown, it's Leo. >> But. >> With you, egg and Barbie is in the middle of texting us. >> Take two. >> Take two. >> Brown chicken brown brown. This is kitty cat. >> We always take time to see what she's got to say. >> It has been a whirlwind. And I know we have a lot of people have been reaching out. >> Where are you? Did you guys die? >> What the hell happened? >> The fact to work. >> We are playing a lot. We have vanilla life. >> We did 100 episodes. We're talking about 24, 100 hours. >> Yeah. >> Seven and a half months of your waking life. We're kind of playing right now. We're messing around. We're goofing off. >> Well, we're definitely playing. >> I was just thinking in this last episode prior to this one. >> Uh-huh. >> In the editing booth, it sounded like I was dropping a lot of ass bombs. >> Really? I haven't heard it yet. >> I'm going to have to put out one of those swear jars. >> Where you put money in every time you? >> You get a dime. >> A dime. This is inflation we're talking about. >> Quarter? >> Five bucks. >> Throw in 20 bucks. That'll deter us really fast. >> Did I have any headphones? >> We could buy two gallons of gas. >> Yes, not around here. Oh my god. We're almost up to $7 people. It just all feels so expensive. I'm ready to get an electric car. >> Yeah, it looks like everybody who's got an EV. >> You guys are the smart ones. >> Mm-hm. Speaking of, we might have driven in one recently. >> This last weekend. >> Four shadow, or is that four play? We'll be talking about that later tonight. >> It is, ma'am, such a whirlwind. It used to be that we talked about what we got up to the last weekend. Now what we're up to, talking about what we got up to the last couple weekends, just to condense it. But we got to also talk about other stuff, not just what we're up to. >> We got to actually give you a little bit of advice as best we can. >> So let's start with the team. >> Let's call the four play. So are we just giving them teasers? Or are we going into that now? >> Yeah, go ahead, let's start. This is the first thing we did in a long line of things we've done. First things first, we had G Wagon Barbie. [MUSIC] In our marital bed. [MUSIC] >> So you know what that means? We cleaned our room. >> She drove up from LA and spent a couple of days with us up in our hometown in the Bay Area. >> That alone was a whirlwind in and of itself. >> It was such a whirlwind. It felt like three weekends and one because we did so damn much in that one weekend. And we did vanilla stuff in between. I was like, oh my god, I can't believe I'm like threading the needle here. >> We took her out to dinner. That felt kind of grown up. >> We're so not grown up. >> We ain't grown up. >> We didn't buy wine or anything. We're too cheap. So we drank some water. >> Then we were strolling hand-in-hand downtown. >> Thrupple style. >> Took it back to the hotel. >> Took it back to a bonfire. >> Oh, that's right. Don't forget about the bonfire. >> Because bonfires are really fun when you're with spicy friends, which we have learned a little bit more about. Oblite. >> You're talking about more foreshadow. >> I like to think of it as foreplay actually, because I like a lot of foreplay. >> How about I just lay some of these out there? We had G-Wagon Barbie in town for the weekend in our hometown. Then we went up to the Bay Area. Then we met a couple. >> We met a couple, guys. And we might have sealed that couple deal. >> Say what? >> You talking about Volkswagen number three. >> Yes. So that is your teaser. All of this happened. >> Wait, wait, wait, wait. Are we leaving out that we met? >> I don't like that. >> A new unicorn. >> We met a new unicorn from a Luminati. >> So we had our girlfriend. And then we had two new experiences. >> Experiences. >> That look like they're going to for sure be repeatable. And all of this happened in the backdrop of our hometown, of the Bay Area. >> Let's give the TLDR. >> Okay. >> G-Wagon Barbie on the way bench with the lead pipe. Codal mustard in the library. She was in our bed. It was dirty. It was sexy. >> It was so wonderful. >> Then we went up to the Bay Area. >> Where we went to two clubs because she wanted to check out our club seat. So we went back to twist. It's been a year and a half. >> Yeah, it's been like the dozenth time that we've been to twist. We've talked about it in the past. It's not quite our fave club. And so while we were there, I think we all kind of felt like it was kind of tame. >> It was a little tame. It was a lot of dancing. It was a lot of fun in that regard. But we're like, I want to put on a show. And so we decided to go as skeezy as it gets. >> And hit the power exchange. What the sigma? >> Oh my homies, hit the power exchange. >> You did that pretty good. Although that night, I didn't hate it at all. It was actually a lot of fun. >> We went in there and we got on the center bed on the main floor. >> It was a four-poster bed and it had ropes all around the bed. It felt like you were in a museum. Like the museum exhibit. >> Yeah, I had those, what, executions? Is that what they're called? >> I don't know. But do you know the little velvet ropes? And when you put on a three-some show in a place like the power exchange, everybody in the club comes to watch. >> Leo is like, I'm going to have my back to all the people. Because you know, I got to keep my head in the game. And he was directing us, the position changes. And so most of the time, G-wagon Barbie and I were facing the crowd. And I am not going to lie. It was like four people deep on all three sides. And it must have been 50 people. >> Yeah, if a person, 50 people. And you know, it's that fighter flight. And I wasn't going to risk turning my head around. >> You are going to fly. I'm not flying. >> I had to be a bouncer to two girls in that club. >> And there, nobody comes near the ropes. You have a few people with their junk out stroking it. But it doesn't feel dirty in that regard. It just feels like you are a museum exhibit. And he was making both of us squirt so much that on the vinyl bed, that it literally felt like a slip-and-slide. >> The entire club was swarmed around our bed. >> It was really hot. I have a real exhibitionist streak. But we don't do it very often because as a couple, I don't know, you don't attract as much attention. And it was just, it really fed my main character, syndrome. >> Yeah, there were murmurs in the crowd. People were commentating. >> I'm like, Leo, I want to deep-throw to you. I'm like, you know, if I lay on my back and you face me, I can do it really deep. >> Main character, Cat, was on full display. She was like, if I'm going to be on the main stage, I'm going to bring out all the tricks. >> Yeah, I got to show all my tricks, okay? Oh my God, and you were great. You were directing us. Like, this is the position people want to see. >> You guys were doing a 69. I was going back and forth. It was epic. >> We would absolutely repeat that. All three of us. >> I suspect we will with some other people. One of them might have been our new unicorn gal that we met over the weekend. Because she's in the Bay Area. Again, we were in the Bay Area for all of this fun time. >> When we told her about our power exchange escapade, she said, "I might like to try that." >> She said, "I'm so in." Once we got dressed at the power exchange and we went to go fetch our jackets at the code check, the gal there said, "Oh, I don't know what was going on tonight in that big bed, but everybody was there." And I'm like, "Oh, yeah, that was us three." >> She said, "That was you." >> Oh, man, I don't know what you were doing, but keep it up. They gave us a 50% off coupon to come back the next night. >> We almost took advantage of it. We still got it in our wallet, so we'll take advantage of it at some point. >> And then that was our first overnighter with G-Wagon Barbie. >> And we headed back to the hotel, tied one off of the night. And when we popped up the next morning, the plan was you were going to meet a guy that you've been texting in your phone for almost-- >> Five or six months. We've called him Sackboy before. I've mentioned him in passing, but he's been along for the ride sexting with Tatiana in Vegas. He has been along for the ride sexting with G-Wagon Barbie down in LA. We had a really, really hot connection, but we have never met in person. >> Well, you call him Sackboy because he's from Sacktown, but now we're going to call him Ball Sackboy. >> You don't understand. For a week straight, we had a countdown. Six days till I see you, five days, four, three, two, the night before. He texted tomorrow. >> We're sitting at a greasy spoon diner in the morning, having breakfast, all three of us. >> Mel's diner, which is absolutely our favorite place to go in San Francisco. >> It's an institution in the Bay Area. It's comfort food. >> It's one of those 50-style with the jukebox at your seat and you're sitting in a booth, and of course we're going to get a shake. >> $5 shake, and it is our ritual. >> For the first time, we brought G-Wagon Barbie with us. We've never brought a play partner to our Mel's diner aftercare spot. >> There were a lot of firsts with G-Wagon. >> Definitely. >> Took her to the power exchange. >> To twist? >> To twist. Mel's diner, you get up to go to the bathroom, and while you're gone, Ball Sackboy texts us, and I look down and G-Wagon says, "Is that him?" I said, he just said something about, "I took some medication last night. I don't think he's going to show up." >> You have to understand, he'd already canceled one time before, so this shoe-dropping meant a lot. >> I told you, G-Wagon, don't say nothing, because we were about to say our goodbyes. I don't want the last half-hour to be mired in Ball Sack. >> But you know what Cat did as soon as I sat back down? >> Where's the phone? I said, "What phone? This phone?" >> Leo probably thought for a split second. I'm going to pretend I don't have the phone, but he's like, he texted here. >> We proceeded to have the biggest turd and the punch-full, awkward, next couple hours. >> We decided to go to Folsom since this was going to be completely canceled, and I was completely gutted. We thought, "Well, we're going to go to Folsom Fair anyway." >> But because we got lemons, we decided to try to make lemonade out of it. >> Originally, we had planned to go check out Folsom Street Fair. >> If you've never heard of the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. >> It's the wildest, kinkyest, very soon. San Francisco street fare. - It's a block party shit show. - Well, there's actually a piss pool with literally people laying in a kitty pool of piss and you could come over and golden shower them. - Wait, wait. - It's not for everybody. - But it's full nudity. - Right up our alley. - It's accepted and there's, I've never seen so many dicks of shapes, sizes, and colors in my entire life. - And what's your assessment of the dicks? - I didn't see any dicks I liked. I'm just not gonna lie. - You saying dicks are kind of ugly? Is that what you're saying? - I'm not all created equal. - Okay. - That is all I gotta say. I mean, we just went to the power exchange the night before and felt like he was kind of on his best behavior. So Folsom Street was the logical next step. - So we weren't gonna go with G-wagon because we'd had a late night, I thought, I've got my Super Bowl coming up. I've got this single guy coming. - Bullseye boy. - I've been talking to for months. I need to rest kind of gear up for that. And then when he shot the bed, Leo's like, we should just go to Folsom Street. - I had to talk you down from the ledge. - I was on like a 20 foot ledge. - Which is one of the topics that we're going to touch on tonight. - The first is move fast and break things. - The second is make lemonade out of lemons. - And the third is the more you talk, the less you play. - Yes. But because he canceled, we decided we're gonna go to Folsom Street fair with G-wagon Barbie because she really wanted to check out the scene. - She really wanted to get flogged. - Yeah, she did. She dropped trial and got flogged. - She got flogged and had quite a crowd around. I think Folsom Street's the kind of thing that everybody ought to give it a try once. - It's not the least bit swinger related. We're talking circle jerks in the middle of the street. We're talking blow jobs in the middle of the block. - It ain't for the faint of heart. If you are church on Sunday crowd, you're probably gonna skip the Folsom Street. But we did it and part of the reason was if we decided to head back home, we would have been wallowing in the mile. - Because we had a hotel that night that was non-refundable because of Ballsack Boy. We had a hotel, are we gonna stay the night of the Bay Area again? - Yes. - According to Leo, yes. I literally dragged my feet the entire day. Let's just go home. Let's just go home. And he tolerated a lot of shit from me that day. - Mm-hmm. - You did great. - You got a hold space. If you are feeling down, then I wanna be there with you to try to build you back up. - And G. Wagon Barbie was there for me at my lowest of lows. - Yeah, she really was. It was an interesting moment. - We've never done that with the play partner that they see me at my most vulnerable. I apologize so often. I am so sorry guys that I am not very good company right now, but I'm not sure I've ever been so gut punched before. - So after Folsom, we said goodbye to our girlfriend and we thought about what do we wanna do? We had a backup backup plan. - We had a few backup plans 'cause we're like, we've got the hotel, maybe we should stay. - We knew that twist was having a hot wife night, which is not something that I think you'd find us or an earlier. - It's on a Sunday night. We're never up there on a Sunday night. We hear the quality of the guys are probably not what I'm looking for, but Leo thought. - You're saying there might be a chance. So against cast better judgment, we decided to hit up twist for hot wife night. - I guess you were hot wife that night. Is that it? I haven't told you. - I mean, isn't that the implication when you walk in there? - That's why Leo never has taken me to a hot wife event, which as you'll know, that's where single males are going to congregate. That's the best place to find an MFM. But yeah, there is a bit of an implication. You walk in and you're like, I'm fresh meat. - You're bait on a hook. - Yeah. - So we walked in there within two minutes of survey in the club. I think we determined this wasn't gonna be a group of single guys. - That I was gonna like. - That was gonna catch your interest. - And it was a very different vibe than Saturday night twist. Saturday night twist, it's busy. The music's bumping, the whole dance floor is packed. - It's a couple centric. - Yeah, it's a couple centric, and Sundays are never very well attended, because it's a bunch of single guys. So nobody's on the dance floor. It's pretty sparsely populated. - Plot twist, the single guys weren't very good. So we're sitting there. - Mind in our own damn business. - Trying to figure out our next move when this girl who's over dancing in one of the VIP areas comes strolling over and invites us to join him. - And so we thought, okay, we got nothing better to do. Let's go. - And you know, if they're lips are moving, they probably wanna fuck you. But we figured, what else are we gonna do? Let's go in there and just be social. - And this is not our first rodeo. We can handle ourselves. - Well, one of the funny dynamics is when somebody comes in and they start running game on us, I think we look new. (laughing) I'm just gonna guess that we look like a couple of new. - Oh, we look like deer in headlights, and we are like, I've seen this before. - But it's funny, because they'll be running game on you for 15, 20 minutes. - And then you, I think mentioned the podcast, didn't you? - Well, it's kind of a funny reverse uno. It's like you put a card down on the table and then they flip it over and when they look at it, they realize, they just pulled one of those fish into the boat that aren't good eaten. Like the meat is really tough and you just got to throw it back. I always think that that's their response. It's kind of funny. They think, I thought I was getting really close and then I realized, oh, you've seen all of this before. - So it turns out they were an only fans couple. They were very interested in us and, hey, come to our place. We can hang out. They just were really friendly people. And we ended up hanging out in the VIP area with some other couples for probably an hour and a half. Probably like a half dozen couples and we realized everybody knew each other. Everybody did only fans. - Everybody had fucked each other. - Except us. - Except us, we were the deer and headlights. - I think we were the fish being pulled into the boat. Maybe somebody wanted to see if we'd be willing to film some content. - But nobody was shooting their shot. He really was just a social, friendly vibe and it worked for what we needed. I needed distraction, desperately. And that's why Leo brought me. He said, this is better than you wallowing at home. You need distraction and distracted I was. And it was a cool group of people. And so we were having a good time and in walks this couple. - Really cute couple. The only couple I'd seen that I personally liked. - To the VIP area. And the first thing you did was you turn to me and said, I think I recognized them from Reddit R for R. - I've seen photos of this couple before. I knew I had seen them before, but I don't really do R for R. I just remember coming across them. - Then they proceeded to take the only available seat that's right next to us. - And we proceeded to talk just the four of us, probably for an hour. At one point, Kat turned her head to me to say, I've really liked them. And when you said that, I knew right then it was on. And all the things that we talked about, a couple episodes back about how much we suck when it comes to couples. And what are the things that we need to do different? - Because we give you advice, but we also take our own advice. - And literally we said, we need to be more intentional. - Yes. - We need to come in softer and we need to be more generous in giving with our compliments. - Yeah, those three, that, uh huh. - And the other very important thing, we'll call this number four. - Get their contact info earlier than you think. - Yeah, that's actually an important distinction. And that's what I told them. About halfway through the conversation, you know, we should get your contact info. And the reason I was saying that so early was because if we got up and we went to go get a drink, we could have started talking with another couple, they could have gotten up, talked with another couple. - And it could be a missed connection. - That might have been the last time we ran into them. - Exactly. And you said that, I think even before I said, I really liked them. It was really early in the conversation. We just knew we had a connection, but we weren't really thinking anything of it at that point. - I knew that this was a really cute couple. They're an only fans couple. So naturally, we gonna call them our sexiest fuck only fans couple or sexy AF-o-f couple for short. - Oh God. - Sexy AF-o-f couple. I love it, okay, okay. But in my hard heart, there's still my lemonade couple. (laughing) I didn't know what they were called. I was calling them my lemonade couple because I turned lemons into lemonade. - Did we have that on our bucket list to play with an only fans couple? - We actually did. - We did. But not that night. - One of the funny things is, they were listening to the podcast after we got to know them a little better. - Biblically. - And they were listening to the episode that we did a couple episodes back. And they said, literally, you guys did exactly what you were saying that you intended to do. - We did so much better. As soon as I told Leo that, true to form Leo, over here next to me, he says, so I don't know what you guys are looking for tonight. That answered so much for us. - And we were trying to determine how do we close this deal? And both of us mutually decided that, let's go ahead and do the slow burn and make this to be continued. And I think, at least for our playstyle, that is a hundred percent the way to go because it allows us to now part ways - Percolate. - And - Simmer. - Both of them can talk about us. We can talk about them. - But there's such a huge caveat to that. You don't wanna wait too long. Because if you wait too long, the moment's gonna pass and you may never get that play date. Let me tell you something about our OF couple. - They're actually my lemonade couple. - Our OF lemonade couple. - They are my OF lemonade couple. - One of the things that they did that we can all take a lesson from. They get an 11 out of 10 for their intentionality in the dating game, especially when it comes to couples. Everything is very complicated. - And nobody really tells what they're thinking. - Nobody wants to show their cards. - It's like you're left to guess, and you're like, I don't even know what it is you want. And it's this push and pull, push and pull. - But one of the worst things that we encounter when it comes to couples. And you know that's not our normal dynamic. And this is one of the reasons why. - In decision? - When it comes to singles, they are so much more intentional. You can just say. - Hey, you wanna meet for Saturday night and they probably know that that means you're gonna end up at a hotel. - And they say yes, they just say yes. They lean in and just say yes. But couples, oftentimes the reason we coined the phrase, OMC, old married couple. Not because they're old, but because they act like an old married couple. It might be happier sitting at home on the couch watching TV. - And they say things like, well, we've got a busy schedule or we've got busy careers. We have activities. So we'll try to pencil you in two months from now. - Where you might even have three dates leading up to play like, let's get drinks first. Now let's get dinner in a very OMC non intentional kind of way. - And it's the kind of thing that can make the flames go out. And make you forget why you even started down this path with this couple in the first place. The best time to do it strike while the iron is hot. And one of the things that pertains to us personally is this whole lifestyle thing has been burning like a wildfire out of control. - So our weekends are really booked up for the foreseeable future. - I think we've done lifestyle stuff 37 out of the 40 weekends this year. - Like there's just always something on the docket. - Like what are we doing next weekend? - We're going to an illuminati party with G. Wagon Barbie. And we're gonna go to not scary farm while we're down there [BLANK_AUDIO] get spooked. But we were originally going to go to Canada, not Canada, to see our ridiculously cute Canada couple for our very first Airbnb weekend away with a couple. We still take a rain check for that. You know we're holding space for that weekend. All of that is to say that because there's not enough time to do all the things that we want to do, the best way to get our attention is to go from zero to a hundred and so sexy OFAF couple texted the next day and they were throwing dates right at us. We could come to you. You could come to us. We could meet halfway. It was so intentional. It was so refreshing because we've talked about from time to time on the pod. Couples that we might have met on field. I think we have three couples that are kind of in our purview. We've never met them and it just don't know when we're going to meet. Remember, we've talked in the other day about the mason jar couple that we met on field. Yeah, whatever happened to them. Exactly. Nothing. OMC's nothing. And it just means that they're not intentional. And I don't think we really have enough time to hold space for people that aren't intentional. So soon as they said, we'll come to you. Nobody comes to us except G wagon barbie and Tatiana's come to us before. We're like, really? Oh my god, we'll get the hotel. You're talking about our hometown coming to us. That's so huge because for us, that's a freebie. Can I just say it was not more than a second ago that we were talking about that we don't ever play in our hometown. I know, but we still really don't in the notion that we don't go searching on field or the apps in our hometown. We have played with two people in two and a half years in our hometown. And we've played with three people in the last month in our hometown. Yes, but they all came from out of town, so that kind of worked. That was our gerrymandering. And it's hot as it is. It is beyond hot. It's so taboo because you're like, I'm worried I'm going to run into people we know. And then just knowing that you're in your backyard, like literally in our marital bed one time twice. We've had G wagon barbie, we've had Tatiana. How long do you think it's going to be before we sneak a couple into our bed? Definitely. Because that's going to even be more taboo. You're like four people. Keep it down. Keep it down. It's going to be like those swing or movies. You can't imagine how refreshing it is. When people don't play games, they stop being polite, they start getting real. It is game changing. It is game changing. It's like a revelation. If I could give that bit of advice to newbie couples out there, be intentioned. Be intentioned. Be like the OFAF lemonade. We met him on Sunday night at twist. We made plans to see them on Friday night in our hometown. If that doesn't show intention, I don't know what does. It's almost like in the dating game when you say, how many days should I wait before I text or how many hours do I wait until I text? I mean, it's so ridiculous. Make sure you don't double text. And there's such a gamesmanship to it. And when you dispense with the gamesmanship, it is like the clouds part, a rainbow comes out and there's a pot of gold at the end. And the only drawback is you are putting yourself out there to be vulnerable for rejection. You are definitely putting yourself out for possible rejection. But the spoils that could come to you, if it goes your way far out way, any of those negatives. We're pretty transparent. I like to try to be unfiltered. I'll tell you to your face. If I think it's a four way match, you'll probably know it. We felt really comfortable with them being our couple number three. We felt really good going into the weekend. But damn, those four days went so fast. By Thursday, I'm looking at Leo. I'm like, oh my God, we're going to do this tomorrow night. Kat was over here and she was nervous as a long tailcat in a room full of rocking chairs. You actually said I was as nervous as a virgin in a poor house. Yeah. I was nervous and I was nervous in the sense that I was dissaribrate posturing and I was busying myself with other things. You were like an ostrich. You were dissaribrate ostriching. Yes. Because Bolesack boy and I have been texting all week where he has apologized. We're going to get into that. So I get in a minute. I've chat GVT. We'll put Kat on blast here in a minute. We'll get to that. I'm having therapy with chat. But you ain't no virgin in a house of no repute. Hey, hey, so I'm here. I am so innocent. I will have you take that back. Mr. Mannhorn. We like OFA a couple a lot because they're sweet. They're so amazing. You can't even imagine let's just list some of the stupid cute things they've been doing. They sent us pictures of homemade cinnamon, vocation bread, coming hot out of the oven. And they said, we're waiting here for you. If you were at our hometown, we wish you were here for dinner. When we booked the hotel in our hometown, we went ahead of time to deck it out as the rave room. You know, that's what we're known for. Of course. And when they got there, they filmed a reaction video of going into the rave room for the first time. It was so adorable. This was like the first time we've really seen video of them since we met them the past Sunday. And then when we showed up to meet them there, they had laid out on the coffee table, all these snacks homemade earrings. She said, go ahead. I heard you like Disney. I've got Disney earrings. Take as many as you'd like. Big goods homemade sourdough bread. Now, one of the cool things is oftentimes when we meet people for the first time, they do bring us gifts. And let me tell you some that is the coolest thing ever. Yeah, we really love gifts and they did not disappoint. Like it was absolutely amazing. Then we were going to hit a bonfire and one of the things is leading up to it. They were textinous to ask, should they bring beach here? It was kind of shoe should I wear at the beach and it was all this planning in an adorable way. They are they are so amazingly cute. They're still doing it after we've parted ways. Oh, the aftercare that we're getting from each other is just amazing. He sent us videos of her flashing us while they're driving on their road trip. I think every time they show up in our phone. It's just the next level of cute. It just reinforces how much we like this couple. And as G. Wagon Barbie will say, cat got some strange penis. Because that's what she wants for me. Like a virgin in a crash. And I turned, my damn lemonade. I turned my damn lemons into lemonade. No, you have to say it wrong because that's your catch phrase is to get it just a little bit wrong. Just a little bit. It's just a little bit. It's adorable. And by the way, how many times did you use the descriptor adorable when you're talking about this couple? I mean, a lot. Yeah. They're really adorable. They want to go to the rent fair with us, get all dressed up. I could see doing that and then getting a day use hotel and going after the rent fair. How hot would that be? They've been together since they were in middle school. They sent us some photos probably around the time they met or high school. You're just like, oh my god, high school sweet hours. Could you be any fucking cuter? And they just want to friends with benefits couple. And I got to tell you that we definitely told them was a Stuart Scott moment or swing or guardian angel Stewart Scott had to have put that in front of us knowing that we would know what to do with it. There were so many reasons we should not have met them. If ball sack boy hadn't canceled, we would never have been at the hot wife night. If we decided to wallow in our misery and head home instead of staying overnight and going to the hot wife night at twist, we wouldn't have met them at Mel's diner when I first found out that he had bailed. I actually called the hotel to try to get a refund. But for some reason, they hung up on me. If that had happened, we would have gone home. So many little things had to go our way to meet them there. And they had to be on 11 out of 10 intentional because if it had waited like two months, we probably would have never met. I bet you we would never have met. Move fast and break things. That is his motto. That is something he wants to talk about. Whatever. It's something you'd like to. It's from lizard man tech bro Mark Zuckerberg. Okay. And so in that case, we were moving fast and we were well, okay, breaking things. You broke a mirror at the hotel with Mrs. OFF lemonade. Oh, yeah. We're going to get to that. We got we had an amazing four way spaghetti fun. Yeah, it was, you know, you never know what a couple swabs going to look because we're only on number three. We don't have a huge blueprint. Right. Not a lot to draw from. I was going to say a point of reference to draw from and we were very spaghetti. She's very by. I'm very by. So we played a lot. Although I heard you went to the bathroom and you might have had a little action in the bathroom. Is that my imagination? That was Mr. A F O F lemonade. I love how you say it in like a quiet voice. You have your hands behind your back over there. Show me your hands. You were alone with her during that time. I don't know what you were doing. Well, we were probably breaking the wall mirror in the hotel room. I moved a big easy chair from one room to the other. I remember when you were bringing it. I was canoeing with both of them having a little unicorn moment. We positioned that easy chair in front of the wall mirror. And then I might have put my foot on it at one point and that was seven years bad luck. Yeah. So seven years of bad luck. But maybe it's in our swinger years. So it'll go by in like two months. I got to do my big move. I missed it. It's my new big move. I missed your big move. Oh my god. So what I say is put your leg over my shoulder and then drape your other leg over my shoulder basically with her, the JJ in his face. Okay. So backwards piggybacken. That sounds way more complicated than where I always go. It's a reverse piggyback with her face or her or the JJ. I'm going down on her standing up. Yes. That's a waste against the wall. Yes. It's hot. I missed it. It's my big move. I'm so glad you have a swan song. Tatiana. She said that was her favorite part of the Vegas weekend. Actually, I have video of me doing it in the Vegas weekend and it was pretty fucking hot. You talked about with our new unicorn. I can't even keep trying to get anymore. So remember, be intentional. That's the takeaway here. There's not enough time to do all the things that we want to do. Shoot your shot. Be intentional. Be unfiltered. But that was night one of our weekend at home. Night one. We didn't spend the night. It was one of those. It's a freebie night. He sounded like crackheads. We were able to get home. I think we got home by one 30 in the morning, but you got to tell the other half of our couple swap. They checked out at 10. We had a late check out at 11 because we needed to come back and take down all the decorations because that's not really cool to do it in the middle of play at the end of play. It looks like oh, I'm taking it looks like you're the repo man. It looks like you're coming back and throwing the car up on the toe. Didn't we say that I like the repo man? I want the repo man. Now. Total truck drivers. They have a special place in the seven shades of hell. Where is that? What am I going? Rings of hell? Depths. I don't know. Layers. I don't know. You don't know much about hell. I don't know. You're just going there probably better get warmed to the idea. I know when I get to the pearly days, he's going to tell me Leo. Oh, I see you got your big move right here. We're back the next morning to take down all of our ravy stuff and We were going to try to figure out how to fix the mirror cat told me just forget about it. But I thought I'm going to go to Home Depot. I'm going to see if I can get a mirror and swap it out. He had zero time. We had really limited time. It took me 27 minutes round trip and I had 10 minutes to install the mirror and he first brought it in. I said, I don't even think it's the same size. And then he put it up. Oh my God. It's the exact same size. $50 mirror from Home Depot. 100% worth it. In fact, it made it feel more like a paper and Leo and I are really big fans of capers. You know we're a little wild. You know we like adventures. We ran from the polpo and Prague. Oh yeah, that might happen. On a lime scooter. Episode 23. We love capers. I'm surprised that we didn't throw a TV set out the second story window. Probably the only reason was it's because there are no second stories at this hotel. I still want a white tiger in Vegas though. I'm a bathroom. Whatever. I don't care. It could be in the hot tub. It could be anywhere. You might have a ball sack and a baby Bjorn. We're not talking about ball sack boy, okay? So we parted ways and yeah. The after care texting has been amazing again, we don't do group chats. We don't do four way tech. So she and I are doing all the texting, the dudes weigh in occasionally and we're planning our next rendezvous with them as we speak. It was unexpected. The series of events that had to happen leading up to meeting them were too many to mention. But through it all, intentionality carried the day and we just go in with it. It's a couple number three and we're going to see where this goes as far as like what we're going to go do together. What kind of mischief we're going to get up to? We're going to go to a rent fair and get a day use hotel. We're all going to be dressed up like King Arthur's Mary men. Stop it. That was suggested. It probably won't happen. You girls are going to be a couple of serving wrenches. It's going to be hot. It is. We both going to look quite busty and some corsets, aren't we? But that was Friday and then as soon as we repaired the broken mirror, we had just enough time to go home, take a shower. So while still bristling an NRE and kind of the disbelief that this just happened, we popped up after dinner and we're back on the road up to the Bay Area with a plan date with a unicorn. A gal that we met at Illuminati. And we've been texting back and forth and put it out onto the calendar a little farther out. And here we are. It was the date last girl's like a little planning. I think all of you. It's just in your hard wiring, you like to pencil it on the calendar and it was really great meeting up with her at the bar and we said to her, this is like a real blind date because we met her at an Illuminati party, but we probably talked her for all of five minutes. Like let me give you an example. If sexy AF OF Couple lemonade, so our blown up our phone and saying we're coming through town tonight. Would you meet him? Yes. Hell yeah, we meet him. I mean, we can always meet people in our hometown. That's easy to slip away. We love that spontaneity. We love spontaneity. We love the adventure, the taboo nature of this unicorn, need a little planning. She needed a little planning, but it was worth it. It was absolutely worth it. She was a fun, fun vibe, super sexy. We're going to call her porn star princess spicy. And why is that Leo? Within 10 minutes of talking to her at the bar, she brought up that she did a porn when she was 20 and she might have pulled it up on her phone and she might have showed it to us. It might have been a little girl on girl action. It was hot. I'm not going to tell you guys who she is. And it wasn't only fans. It was literally a porn. So we have a porn boy. And now we got a porn star princess branched about. She looks a little bit like you. You girls look like you could be sisters. We were getting a lot of looks at the bar, especially by that really cute server. We stopped by 7/11 to grab some champs on the way to the hotel and we had a guy sleeping on the street. And when we walked by, he said, that's a lucky man right there with two blondes. She's a horse girl horse girls. She's originally, I think, from the south, ridiculous acute Canadian couple. The misses is a horse girl. We were talking the other day about the bedroom, Kim, when it comes to Mrs. Niagara Falls. Is she your kryptomite? We had some off the chart, bedroom, Kim. It rocked your world. I like when all lights are green. I'm a marathoner. She was a marathoner. And he was a marathoner. She loved being pleased and you are such a people pleaser. Next time we see him, I have to do my big move. Raincheck Mrs. Niagara Falls. Still can't wait to see you guys. You guys are still thinking about you. And where is my brother from another mother, Mr. Niagara Falls? Come on, Cat is over here, talking about you still. So we took it back to our hotel. Where we proceeded to have an amazing, three-some unicorn experience where she said, you guys are so chill. All the other couples I've ever met, there's so much jealousy and drama. And you guys are refreshingly normal. Yeah, we got that all out of the way. With Lana. Which by the way, we just heard from her the other day. We heard from her on the night of couple number three. While we were sitting there in afterglow at the same hotel that we originally took her to when she came to visit us, that's actually kind of eerie. We haven't heard from Lana in two months because remember we said she's getting back together with her ex, but we took it back to our hotel, which was decorated like the rave room. Of course it is. The amount of times we set it up and break it down. We've said before that if we were to win the lottery, it would be really fun to get a butler and he would go in and he would set up all the stuff for us ahead of time. Maybe he'd have different stuff and he would surprise us. So we'd never know if it's like, he'd have like four sets of things. Oh, wow. We've got like number two stuff tonight. God, that would be so hot. Oh, is that a new sex toy laid out here? Is that a writing crop? I don't know. You must have knew we just got back from Folsom tonight. We're doing BDS of night. But we don't have a butler. And so we do it all ourselves. But it's fun. The first thing she said when she walked in was, is this how the hotel is? I didn't realize that you guys actually set this up. We're like, no, that's us, but she loved the vibe. And then we got to know each other. She invited us to come stay at her house. I think we're going to have some adventures. Definitely. She actually would like to go to the power exchange. She has an elevator in her house. Is that going to dox her? Because how many people have an elevator in their house? I don't know. That's pretty unusual. And she talked about wanting to fuck on the elevator in her house. So I don't know to say it. You know, good. I think it's a little more like a dumb waiter. Yeah. Just get on. Goes to the next floor. I'm excited to check it out. I think it's a glass and clothes. So it's even hotter. So I'm imagining you two want it. And I'm going to be the videographer. That's the unlock porn star princess. Yeah. I thought she meant when she first said that, that she lives in a high ride. Yeah. Like with a dormant in an elevator. But no, no, no, whatever. They've got a two story house. And it's got an elevator. I figured we'd be pulling the fire alarm. She's fun. She's a lot of fun. She's a party girl. And we had a really great time getting to know her biblically. Intimately. And I really looking forward to seeing her again. She's a marathoner. She is a marathoner. And I'm enjoying getting to know her better because she's very bi. And we didn't do as much bi stuff. And she was very much like, oh, I want to make sure I'm pleasing you. You tell me how to do this. I want to do it the way you like. And she was really lovely like that. What is true when we have a single girl that we meet for the first time, we try to make sure that she has a really good first time. And so we generally speaking, we will lavish all the attention on the unicorn on the single female. So it's kind of their moment, their time. So they're like, oh, Kat, I want to pleasure you. And I'm like, my time will come. That's the second meetup in the elevator with the branch. Professor Plum. Yes. But let's fill in the remaining time talking about what we learned this week, really? Three things. Let's start with number one. That is where AFOF limited couple shined. Wow, when you said it, it's like you were whistling between your teeth. I know. I got it. I got it. I can't even recreate it. They shine. I'm just that good, honey. And that is a lesson that I cannot stress enough. It's one of the things that we kind of gently chide. Oh, I'm seeing. The couple's out there by saying OMC tendencies are when people really aren't as intentional as they could be. And it's okay not to be as intentional, but you're probably not going to have as good a time. I've said it before. I feel like the lifestyle should be easier than it is. It should be because everybody really has the same intention. And why shouldn't it be easier to just come together? Everybody wants to get naked and touch strange genitals. Wouldn't be cool if it was like ordained up door dash 30 minutes hot and ready to your door. Get on. Bring it on. But because people have gamesmanship, it's not just gamesmanship. There's indecision. There's insecurity. There's fear of rejection. All those things are swirling within four people to then make things just not happen. And we're not trying to tell you to have an experience that you don't want. Now don't do so far. Don't take one for the team. Only go forward if everybody is enthusiastically a hell yeah because we used to say that maybe three out of four experiences in the lifestyle are just met. And today we almost universally have hell yes. We haven't had a hell no in over a year and we play a lot. So you can be very discerning and you can be very particular. But when it's in front of you and you know it's a match go for it. Take violent action. Our violent action. They said we have some random days that we could come to you. They picked Friday. We're like we already knew we had planned Saturday. We're like fuck it. Let's just do it. Did you just say fuck it? I did because it felt like fuck it. Put 20 bucks in the square jar. I need a couple of gallons of gas. Ridiculously cute Canadian couple. They were intentional and that's why it happened. Think about the first time that we got together with them. We had initially planned to get together on a Saturday, but on the Friday we had plans fall through and we reached out to them and said, hey, what are you doing tonight after the theme party? And instead of gamesmanship and like, oh, I'm trying to look busy. They're like, that sounds perfect. We'll be there at 11 30 and so much of that move fast break things. He turns out it's a recipe for having good experiences in the lifestyle. Make sure it's a four way match. Make sure that you want to actually do the experience. But when you see the love connection, run. Don't walk. Don't drag the back foot. Just like when we had ridiculously cute Dutch couple and Amsterdam, we did move fast and break things with them and then we didn't move fast enough. We dragged that back foot. Once we got in the living room, we never quite made it to the bedroom. And that was us. We were not moving fast breaking things like, OK, we're here. This is great. Let's do violent action. If we had that to do over again. again, we would have broken everything in that house to get to the bed so so hot. Oh my gosh, missed opportunity. So I can't stress it enough. Don't act like an OMC. When you have something good, go for it. And it is true. Probably what holds us back more than anything else fear of rejection, feeling insecure. Oh, they're not going to say yes. Oh, I'm going to look too interested. I don't want to do that. So going forward, we're going to move fast and break a lot of mirrors on our way home earlier today from our Bay Area one night excursion. We rented a car because we personally have a gas guzzler. It's cheaper for us to rent a car. We're driving down the highway. You got a granny in front of you. The car in front of us rolls over a blown out tire and I didn't have enough time to swirl. So he's like, Holy shit, we're just going to go right over the middle of it. Here we go. A few miles down the road. We're hearing some clankin going on. We're like, oh my god, I don't think we're going to make it home. Our car starts making noise. I look underneath. He broke things. There's a plastic piece hanging off the car. So we get the car home. I stopped by auto zone. Maybe gets a new rivet. By the way, auto zone sponsors this podcast. So I should take this time right now to say, if you're ever having a great swing experience, auto repair needs at auto zone and there were two really hot guys that parked next to me as you went in and I was like, it turns out that's all the kind of guys that you like work on their cars because it's kind of a manly thing, right? Yeah. So yeah, we broke more things. But we fix them too. We fix. So you can move fast, break things and then fix them after the fact. Number two, the more you talk, the less you play cat cat. Okay. So here's the thing. You know, I have a sexting king. And it started about last November, generally speaking, I cannot tell you how many people I've sexed with that I have never met and never with an absolute laundry list. And all that tells us is the more you talk, the less you play. And part of the reason is fantasy. Sometimes in the course, texting back and forth, somebody's going to say something that the other couple or single doesn't like. And there's also the idea that you're not moving fast enough. If you're sexting for a month, you're not as heated as you were when you first matched with each other, you need to make that first meet and greet ASAP. But in the case for cat, she's dealing with single guys who oftentimes never done this before. I've never done an MFM. So they don't know what to do with a naked husband in the room. I am the problem. I scare the **** out of them. He does. He's never even met them. And he's just the absolute naked boogeyman. It probably doesn't help that I'm not going to text them cats talking as the point person. After a while, maybe I'm some crazy husband who's going to snap at a jealousy because some of them do have some bad experiences as well. They've heard horror stories. And so with Balsac boy, that was really the lesson that I learned because I was so gutted. I'm gutted over someone I have never met. And let's stop there for some because what you're doing is you're pedestal in somebody who is happier doing fantasy texting from the safety of his front porch, but he's never going to get off the front porch and come out. I hate to say I'm pedestal in them. I just liked him a lot. We had a really great texting connection. And I really felt it would be fantastic in real life. The more you build it up, the more chance there is for you to be crushed and disappointed when they don't follow. There's definitely an emotional connection because of the sexting because of the time that's passed. Whereas I have learned no more. We find somebody on the app, all we do is text them to say, okay, we need to make a date to meet ASAP in real life. We said never again, never again, do the sexy build up. What you need to do is you need to meet first. And then if you want to have a sexy relationship after that, add to that after it's because I have a sexy relationship with Mr. Architect from Paris. But he and I didn't have that prior to meeting. We just made an appointment to meet up. We met up and now occasionally I'll hear from him and it's very sexy, but it works because I've already met him. He's a real human being. He's not a figment of my imagination here's the thing. If you text somebody for six months and then they end up not coming out, it's like you being thrown out of a 10 story building. 20 story. If you've just been talking to make logistical plans to meet and they don't show up, you don't know them. It's like you've been shoved off a six foot wall, you hop down, you dust yourself off and you go on your way because you just don't care. You haven't built up a relationship. You don't know them. There is no feeling gutted. And so that really is the lesson I learned from this week. I'm going to spill some tea on cat right now. Oh, don't do that. What are you going to say? She's over here and she's talking with chat GBT about will he won't he ball sack boy will he come out? No, you got to understand. Chad is my therapist right now, which I've never done before. How many people out there are using chat GBT as free therapy? And Chad is not giving me all butterflies and roses. It's very realistic. Like I don't know if you're going to get him out. See, you and I are of differing views on this matter. Yes. We have taken a bet. I think I'm going to get him out. Leo says there's no chance in hell. Okay, we're going to do one dollar bet here. Hold on a second. Got a crisp one dollar. Okay, it's a five dollar bill. I'm going to get him out guys. Okay. And we're going to write ball sack boy over Lincoln's face here and whoever wins the bet. But you know, Leo sounds really irritated, frustrated. I'm actually not irritated. He actually would love it if he did actually show up. I would give you the TLDR. He claimed being sick. He was scared. After the fact with this apology, he ended up telling me, I'm not sure about an MFM. I keep going back and forth on it. And he was very honest and vulnerable and saying, I just don't know if I can, but I'm going to try out. I think when it comes to these kind of things, it can seem very scary, especially if you haven't done this before. And especially if you have like a six month buildup. And so in the end, it's really about how you're wired. And if you're not wired for this, I don't think there's a way for you to do your rewiring midstream. You have a better chance of going to the auto zone parking lot and meet one of those cute guys with a little bit of grease under his fingernails. He's probably going to come out. But you have to agree that we've gone a complete 180 from where we were last weekend in the bid I've been talking to him. Yes. I chat you be tea true to form is a brown nozer. And it goes and feeds back sort of confirmation bias. It really is very realistic saying I agree that we've come a long way. You're definitely maintaining your total authority, a spitch self. But that doesn't mean he's actually going to come out like it's very realistic. See, this is what happens when you get thrown off a 20-story building. You can't go ahead and you do therapy with chat GBT. I know this is the last one. There's just so much connection. I'd like to see it pan out in real life and get a drink with him and see if I even like him. I don't mind if you want to go down this avenue. In the end, it's neither here nor there. You're either going to miraculously change the stripes of somebody who's not wired in this way to take a risk to take a chance or I'm going to be letting it ebb a lot slower. And it's going to just fade out and fading out is so much better than crashing and burning from me. And I'll win five bucks, five bucks. All right. So that's number two. The more you talk, the less chance you're going to meet. Please emblaze in that on your forehead because I'm going to tell you there's been at least seven guys, 10 guys that I've texted. Oh, it's at least 10. It's so bad. You're like, oh my God, that one, that one. So just hear me out and don't do it. We have a bigger sample size than just 10. And when we're saying the more you talk, the less you play, really that's what we're talking about is you're kind of doing flirting. You're doing sexting. Keep that to a minimum. And then you can have a sexy relationship. It's totally fine. Because then you're living in the real world. Number three, make sexy AF OF lemonade out of limits. Yes. Yes. And you know, that was all really kudos to Leo because I almost bailed that day. I did something right. You did. You were really generous and patient with me. And I was a little s**t that day because I was in such a bad mood. So I don't agree with that. I think that we said it a million times before in the lifestyle. There are as many lows as there are highs. When you have a high, you can expect that there's probably a low just lurking around the corner. And it's incumbent on you as a significant other. You must support each other through the good times, but even more so through the bad time. And it was really wonderful. I hope other husbands out there. If you've got an MFM plan and your wife is so excited for it, that if he bails and you're like really irritated with this dude that you are still fully supportive of your wife kind of mourning the thing that's not going to happen. Instead of being angry about it, you were so just sympathetic, empathetic, like it was amazing. Well, I don't even hold it against him because you said he's just scared. Yeah. Like all of them, all of them that we've had that difficulty with. They're all just scared. They're not bad people. And I think that's why I'm enjoying this continued conversation. And I'm really seeing what's inside of a single guy's mind who's too scared to come out because he's being very open and vulnerable right now. Well, it's interesting that you said in the case of an MFM and talking to other guys out there in regard to their significant others. It is true that from a guy's perspective, obviously at the top of our list, I like another girl. Of course. And at the top of your list, you'd like another guy. And then there's some overlap in there and the vent diagram. But it's important to remember to hold space for your spouse, even though that might not be as important an experience for you to have, let's say an MFM. Remember, it is about compersion for your partner as well. You want to see your partner have joy. And if your partner, my husband, we'd like another lady in the bedroom, it's incumbent on me to make that happen to make it a wonderful experience. Well, I think you're fantastic at compersion. There's no question about that. I hope that I'm doing a good enough job when it comes to compersion for you. You're doing amazing. When I first told you, so you do, he was texting me. He's like, oh, here he is again. And I said, okay, I'm doing like some chat GPT therapy to kind of read what's in his mind and help me craft my next response. And you didn't roll your eyes completely. You're like, that's fine. Just go right ahead and do that. And you're being very empathetic to me. That's because I got five on it. Now, you're really very wonderful. I would love for him to come up, but I don't think he will because now that he's backed out twice, I can't help but think that he might wonder if the husband on the other side of this harborsome animosity towards him about it. You know, the next step is I'm going to create a three way telegram chat so you can chat with him too. I don't do group checks. You all know that about me. Honestly, if you heard from me by text, it's rare. But that's us talking about making lemonade out of lemons. You're going to have a lot of oofs. And the best thing to do is try not to wallow in it. Yes, you're going to mourn something that didn't happen, but try to get out there again and distract yourself. Don't say, I quit. I'm not going to do this anymore because your next best AFOF lemonade couple might be there waiting for you. Try to keep yourself on the first story or less. Don't climb up 10 stories to be disappointed. And remember, be unfiltered, lean in and just say yes. And just say yes. That's our personal three tenants. Lots of mirrors. The more you talk, the less you play. Sac, boy. And listen to Uncle Stuart Scott when he tells you to go on the Hot Life night at twist. Because you're going to make some damn lemonade. So if you like what you heard, go ahead and either subscribe or I didn't know how that works. Just come and listen. We might be my posts once a week. We might post a couple times a month. I don't know. We might get bored and stop doing it. We might. Well, it's still going. Otherwise, we'll lose interest. Tell us how much you like it. Yeah. Leave a comment. We love it. We can leave a comment. I don't know. We love some comments. We don't even have a website. Oh, OK.