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Professor Jiang Predicts The Antichrist | FILE_16 | Mystery Boys

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Professor Jiang Predicts The Antichrist | FILE_16 | Mystery Boys

The transcript blends promotional content for Netflix House at Galleria Dallas with a satirical, conspiracy-driven podcast episode filled with fictional and absurd claims. It promotes themed entertainment, food, and interactive experiences inspired by popular media, positioning the event as a fun, social escape. However, much of the content veers into far-fetched political and cultural conspiracies—such as false allegations that Professor Zhang works for the CCP, claims about global surveillance networks, and speculative narratives involving religious, political, and economic manipulation. These ideas are presented with humor and irony, often using exaggerated or nonsensical logic. The episode also touches on broader themes like technological surveillance, the influence of corporations, and global power shifts, framing them through a fictional lens. Despite the absurdity, the piece serves as a satirical commentary on current anxieties around technology, politics, and control. The underlying tone remains comedic and critical, using over-the-top scenarios to highlight how misinformation and conspiracy theories can shape public discourse. The narrative ultimately mocks both real-world issues and the proliferation of unfounded claims, reinforcing its role as entertainment rather than factual reporting.

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Endless summer escapes start here. Travel the worlds of Netflix IRL. Inspired by fan favorites like Stranger Things and Squid Game. Brave the upside down. Face off with the front man. Play leveled-up arcade games. Shop exclusive merch. And enjoy themed food and drinks. Beat the heat. Play, eat, and shop on repeat at Netflix House at Galleria Dallas. Bring your crew and save. Get your tickets today at netflix.com/house. ♪♪ ♪♪ Oh, well, hello. It's me, Yolo Cobretante. And with me, as always, is-- Lavish Taunt. And what a very special episode of "Girthful Streams" we have for you this week. - Absolutely. - On the "Girthful Streams" podcast. Because we have Professor Zhang, probably the last podcast appearance in America. - Probably, yeah. - Well, before you go. - And because we're so honored by your appearance. - Thank you. - I made an intro song for you. Can we play that? - Oh my, oh wow. - I think everyone knows who you are, but just in case. - Yeah, we got two songs to play, actually. ♪ Professor Zhang is from China ♪ ♪ When he was just a little boy ♪ ♪ He moved to Canada ♪ - This is a well-researched song. - It is. - It's very accurate. - ♪ He went to Yale ♪ ♪ And now he teaches Chinese children in China ♪ - Wow. ♪ And hosts a very famous YouTube channel ♪ ♪ A dad at a kid's party I attended ♪ ♪ Said that I should be careful ♪ ♪ 'Cause Professor Zhang works for the CCP ♪ - Did someone say that to you? - Yes. - Really? ♪ He works for the California Highway Patrol ♪ ♪ The judge said that's not funny ♪ ♪ It means the Chinese Communist Party ♪ - ♪ Chinese Communist Party ♪ ♪ Dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum ♪ ♪ Dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum ♪ - Wow, a lot of experimental electronic. ♪ Dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum ♪ - Now, where's the furry part fit in? That's what I didn't. - Well. - Just internet in general. - It always spices up a video to put furries in it. - That's true. - Like, if you ever need content for a video, and we heard you. People have been complaining about us using AI, and so-- - Are they? - A little bit, and so I made this song myself, and as you can see, it's infinitely better. - We don't use AI. - Infinitely better than AI. - The only AI we use is Asian Indians, and we've said that from the start. - From the beginning. - Some Fiverr, H1B, Visa-type. - That was such a moving tribute. Thank you so much, Duncan. - Thank you for being on the show. - Well, yeah. - Who told you? - It almost brought me into tears. - Who told you? 'Cause, okay, let's say that Professor Zhang here, 'cause you've heard the charges, Professor Zhang is working for the CCP. - Yeah. - What exactly would happen as a result of that to me? - I don't know. He was solemn about it. - Well, I'll tell you my secret mission, okay? - Okay. - I am on a secret mission to destroy America once and for all. - Too late. - By teaching Americans how to think for themselves. Once you guys wake up and see the truth, American democracy will be destroyed forever. - What's the truth? - Well, the truth is, first of all-- - Why are you putting up the Chinese Communist Party? We've heard of the Chinese Communist Party. It's not. Did you just look up random words that are said? Okay, wait. Sorry, go ahead. - Yeah, the truth is that, first of all, you guys eat and drink poison. - Did you know that? - Did you know that? - Yeah, yeah. - Excuse me? - Yeah, so like, you know, Argentina sent beef to China, and China was like, this stuff is poisonous, man. It's tainted beef. There are chemicals in here that will like, you know, make people die. - You're telling me China now has higher safety. - Yeah, and then Trump's like, we want this, man. Yeah, yeah, this is good enough for Americans, right? Americans wouldn't eat anything. - Hold on, is this from when Malay, the chainsaw guy, when his brilliant thing didn't work out, and so Trump bailed him out because Scott Besant runs the hedge fund with the Soros boys? - Yeah, $20 billion. $20 billion, yeah, that's right. - And so it fucked up the American beef industry, where really, we don't need one anymore, so I'm not, that's just to breed red heifers for the end times, so we don't need them. - Right. - That's right. - But they destroyed the American beef industry. I tried to tell this to people that I know who all acted like, 'cause, oh, I should've told Ryan Long at the time, 'cause I couldn't believe what a backstab it was. And he's like, no, Malay's thing, it doesn't, it's not, I can't remember how he put it like it was a good expense, like, why is there any expense at all? What do I give a fuck about Argentina working out? I didn't know he was in Chabad, though, at the time. - He is in Chabad, yeah, yeah, that's right. - All the Chabad Lubavitchers seem to hook each other up. - Yeah. - Holy shit. - That's right. They rule the world, man. - You tell your Chabad friends that, Duncan? - What do you eat? - I will blow your spot up. - What do you eat when you come here? - We, so like-- - Street noodles. - So we're here in the United States because I want my kid to experience America and become fat. You met my kid, right? - Yes. - He is tiny, man. - I mean, I wouldn't say tiny, he seems healthy. - Well, he's skinny, and I'm like, you know, like, that's not good. - Get a big scoop of poison, though, get him up there. - Exactly, man. We've been gorging on hamburgers every single day, and we just love it, man. - That's cool. - Yeah. - Well, burger ain't gonna do it. You need the carbs and you need the, what else would you say, Duncan? - For what? - To fatten up quick. - Oh, you need carbs, you need, you know, sugar. - Something to slow your metabolism down. - I mean, God, sugar. - Red Bull, you need Red Bull for Red Bull? - We were at a Dan's Burg, hamburgers before this. - Yeah. - And we ordered a hamburger and he just gobbled it down and he loves his stuff, yeah. - Where'd you get it from, though? 'Cause there's some that are like crap food that I'll be like, oh, I kinda want that. And then I would say Austin, though, a lot, like they have like kind of better versions of fast food crap that people, you know-- - Wait, wait, wait, wait. There are seriously people in this world who actually Google fat Americans? - No, that is, I believe it's a Chinese guy who came up-- came before you and got fat. - Okay, all right, okay, like you guys have-- - Chow Fat American is his name, I believe. - You guys have to like Google fat Americans and look for pictures online 'cause there are no fat Americans around you, right? Yeah, that's interesting. - No, yeah, it's hard to find. - It's hard. - Well, because of COVID, you don't wanna make contact with the fat Americans. - Hey, you know what, this is a perfect time for me to say, if you don't wanna gain weight and you wanna enjoy a delicious drink, Diet Coke. Healthy, wouldn't you agree, of all the American products, this is the healthiest? - That's right, I've heard it's good. - There's no side effects, it's fantastic. - And also, Liquid Death, man. Liquid Death. - Really good. - Yeah, you can't go wrong with Liquid Death and Diet Coke at the same time. - Listen, some people, like, you know, pieces of demonic people like Candace Owens are gonna tell you Diet Coke's not good for you. - She does not say that. - It's the kind of thing she would say. - That brings into question everything else she said. - But because, Tanner, I want you to please play this beautiful tribute that was last week's host, the guy Geesh Piercing made for Andrew Wilson. You familiar with the Wilson Debate School? - Yeah, of course, I mean, no. I've never heard of it. - Completely unprepared and, like, interrupt the other guy constantly, and, like, yeah, constantly shake him. - Why would I pay to learn that? Can't I just say I won even if I lose without paying you? - Yeah, yeah. - He doesn't really have a debate school. - Okay, the key to winning a debate, by the way, and for a lot of people that are untrained, is on paying the person-- - What? - The person who lost the debate $300,000. That's called a winner, okay? Any way you slice it, that's a winner, okay? - Oh, wait, are you playing it? - Yeah, so-- - Okay, cool. - People made a big deal about his foot shaking, okay? But he explained that it's a family trait called the Wilson Shake. - Are you joking? No. - No, I am not joking. Because Geesh Piercing sampled him saying it for this amazing song. - Oh, my God, I can't wait. - Yeah. - The Wilson Shake, he said his father had it and he had it. - Do you know about the shake? Did you watch the debate? - Well, he sent me the video. - Yeah. - And like, yeah, yeah, and I'm trying to like copy it, you know, while I'm here as well. Yeah, exactly. - That's how they do you out there in China. - You have to do it if our conversation gets heated. - That's right, that's right. - Do you know I've been making a joke in my act for like the last two years about that stupid, fake Chinese spy balloon that their plans to float a balloon over here so they could take pictures and laugh at how fat and queer our kids are? - And like-- - I was just joking. - That's the joke I've been making, and he just came and said it right here. You know how crazy that is? - You know, they could just use the internet, you know? I mean, like, so-- - Well, you gotta see it in person. It's like, yeah, I could see a fucking panda bear. - Oh, man. - Look, I could see a dog dressed as a panda bear on the internet, but I wanna see it up close. So the Andrew Wilson debate, by the way, again, incredible because last week we talked about it with Pecan. - Yeah. - But why, why dare they do that? Why are they doing this? Like, what is, why is she the focus of-- - Yeah, that's a good question for the professor. - Why do you think Candace is the focus of this? That was such a strange, well, you saw the debate. Besides, it sucks. Like, what did you think of it? - Yeah. sucked and uh i mean it it did i mean i mean the guy came completely unprepared and like honestly um you couldn't script it better for kenna's organs right because like she asked a question like what are the charges there's seven charges what were the charges and the guy did not even know what the charges were and that went viral and it's even worse that he pushed her he goes she goes do you know any of the charges he goes yeah murder i assume and it was not and it's and he keeps saying this is not a big deal but it is if you're a prosecutor because it's a separate charge called aggravated that's right murder which means they can bring the death penalty that's right yeah if it was murder there might not be a death penalty so that's a thing that you would think you would have to acknowledge but you don't that's the key to great debating right you don't have to acknowledge that fact right you'd be like oh whatever like it is impossible to win against that how are you gonna win against that sure wait is it up yet or no i'm fired up to see this amazing andrew wilson i didn't know how great he was i'd heard of him i've never heard of this guy before do you know his wife promised their daughter to a a gripper it's called uh duncan a gripper i've heard you mean a nick fuentes is that nick right and then the guy that so they so then that guy started blackmailing uh andrew wilson the guy that his wife via internet set their daughter up with to be married and like a trad cattle ceremony um that guy threatened that guy threatened andrew wilson and said if you do some debate with nick fuentes nick fuentes is my king and if you do the debate i'm gonna release i guess nudes of his daughter or something i'm gonna be what the fuck whoa i didn't know any of this and by the way i don't understand what as i say it it sounds fucking batshit batshit and that's really the key to hiding shit is like if you're trying to explain it to people you're like what are you talking yeah yeah yeah anyway andrew wilson that's how good of a debater is that this guy tried to blackmail him to make him not debate nick fuentes because of his amazing skills so i understand why he's under attack i just want to point out again they were in the mothership green room and i talked to his wife in a green room yeah now maybe she's just lying but i didn't didn't seem like she was to me but she knew about every fucking conspiracy thing i've ever talked about yeah she knew about all of them and some things i didn't know where i was like wow she seems to know a lot about this stuff i was kind of impressed with her knowledge of it yeah so if you know what i know how the fuck are you even having a debate like this unless you got the paid off well look i just paid my life savings uh so that i can uh i don't know have a tickle fight with some uh it wasn't his money though what now you're being crazy that's the ccp conspiracy yeah let's watch this okay let's watch this amazing because i i think this is one of the best uh i don't know a lot of the guys there's a lot of great things about this dance is one of the best by the way that's called the wilson shake let's somebody take that he's good dude let me tell you about a dance that's not even fake it's a brand new groove called the wilson shake sit your ass on a chair and put your left foot down cross your right foot over her then you shake it around great job that's why you that's why you did i'm supposed to open the pickle jar literally slippery i can't grip the fucker that was so good that's amazing and you know what you know what the song's great what could you do i can't wear this i'm sorry so like what we need after this is a deep fake porn of like kenneth owens and angel wilson together well i'm way ahead of you on that one oh no no oh my god okay please don't show us yeah hey just to wrap up that what that guy said i mean now that i don't care but do you work for the ccp um 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moving for out i think it was hours see if you could find that yeah six hours watch this we're gonna watch this for six hours yeah no well i think they time lapse thing i saw throughout this is that for a six hour stretch mitch mcconnell's just that just looking like that sitting like that he he had sitting there conversation somewhere who's gonna decide him but um i don't know i've seen this before with diane fine it's just mitch and he's like his aid his helper i know i've seen that guy push the um the wheelchair for like six hours and he's got a wheelchair for a match before but he for six hours here he's just sat i don't know why he doesn't need any like toilet break or see that he just six because he has a diaper dude well yeah he died that guy's 8 000 years old it's called diapers uh here's a better question why is there all these geriatrics in our congress still and who do they represent like missiles like who the does lindsey graham who did he represent yeah two people professor why are there geriatrics in our government because uh the baby boomers ruled the united states right because baby boomers are the wealthiest demographic. They're the most people, and they're most likely to vote. Yeah, the baby boomers. Oh, that's really cool. So he's alive. You know he's alive if he watches a mystery book. Oh, actually, he's fine. For a second, I thought he was really sick. Look at that. He's okay. He's enjoying the show. Is he there trying to figure out if the Ellison boy has eyebrows? Like, oh, that's that. I know what episode he's watching. Yeah, we got to watch out for the CCP, and luckily, we've got the Ellison family. That's right. We've got the Ellison family to make sure, number one, we keep up with China, the enemy that we should never. So I assume that means we're getting health care every minute now. We'll protect you guys from China, man. Hey, so I was on a Waymo coming here. Yeah. And goodbye to millions of jobs, man. All those Uber drivers, they're gone. In five years' time, just gone. Gone. Yeah. And, hey, so I have this good idea for Google. Yeah. Like, what they can do to bring about the robot revolution and not have anyone protest. How? Okay, are you guys ready for this? Yes. Okay. Sex, robots, Waymo. Holy shit! Are you going to say parts from my current act on the show? I tell people I jerk off in Waymos. There's a whole joke. Dude, dude, no, no. You're in a Waymo, and you're getting fucked at the same time. Fuck yes. Yeah. Dude, bring it. Man. Dude, I look right into the camera. Combine these two important things. Sex, robots, and Waymo. Okay. Yeah. I mean, it's a joke, but it's not really a joke. What would it be a joke? It's not a joke. It's not a joke. I wear a Kanye West Super Bowl swastika shirt, a cowboy hat, no pants, pair of enclouds. I put a foot on each headrest in the back, you know, just wearing my ankles for earrings. And then I look right in the dash cam at the man looking at me. Yeah. And then I show him what they're up against. Yeah, but you're still, and I think that's beautiful and a very, very patriotic act. Yes, it is. But you're still pleasuring yourself. What the professor is proposing is, I'm assuming, some kind of fleshlights in there. Are you saying, like, I want to know what the interior of one of these sexual Waymos you're envisioning looks like. Okay, so you go into Waymo, right? And it's like the body of a woman, right? Oh, it's shaped like a woman. The Waymo. Right, right, right. And you're in there. And, like, the vagina's right in front of you, you know? Yeah. And, like. Ew! What? Some people like that. Some people like women. Dude, have you never had sex? Not, I mean, I'm not a face virgin, but I, you know. So keep going, please. No. The Waymo, the door is, like, tell me about the door. You go into the Waymo. What does it feel like when you open the door? Yeah, look, look, look, look. Do you see? Exactly, Matt. You go inside, you know, and you got these boobs, and you got this giant in front of you. Yeah. And you just stick it in there. And, like. Yeah. You know, and, like, they time it perfectly, so, like, they figure out how long the ride is, and, like, you know, you just ejaculate when you get to the spot. Love it. You're in paradise, man. That is the name of a song that we are going to make now. You mean it kind of edges you out until you get to your destination? Yeah, yeah. And, like, and also, like, the, also, there's aroma inside the car. So when you get inside the car, you know, you're. Oh, Craig's gonna smell like a chick, too? Yeah, it's like you're sitting beside Kirk, you know? Yeah. You know, you're just weaving in all these, like. I bet we fuck mad pussy, okay? And it's gross, and I do it. Who's we? Oh, on the war boat. Oh, I thought you were pluralizing yourself. No, no, but a lot of times women have told me my shirt. Oh, on our boat. Yeah, we banged. Oh, look, there you go. Exactly. Exactly. Here you go. Watch me have Waymo orgasms in the self-time. They got my email again. Christine Stevens, a futuristic backseat encounter. What? What the fuck? Well, oh, she sat on the shifter or something? Come on. Grow up. So I'm in this with my, like, for sure someone jacked off here. For sure, man. I never did. Look, what's the number one thing, number one problem with jerking off in an Uber? What? That's right, the driver. Exactly. You're right. Exactly. Great answer, the driver. So now China has gifted us. That's right. That's right. So I'm gonna go back to China and say, this is how we conquered the United States. Man, sexy robot Waymo. It's done. You guys are finished, man. Well, with the spy balloon, that's what I, because I genuinely, I'm like, is America retarded medically? Because if I was going to conquer retarded people, I would first send a big balloon in the sky. A little for shock and awe. Exactly. That's your plan to conquer retarded people. No, America. It's that. That's not my plan. His buddy, the CCP's plan. It's a sad assignment to be. Sent to conquer retarded people. They're just, they're only coming here. That means you're not the best general. Yeah. Yo, they won. They Sun Tzu won the shit already. It's just now they've coming to take pictures of how fat and gay all are. So when did you start working for the CCP? They won't hire me. I keep applying and they're like, oh, you don't know how to speak Mandarin. And you, oh. Look, look, look. I'll put in a good word for you. Okay. I'll go back and say, cursor guy. What about me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I want in. All right. All right. All right. Well, we'll do a sound list before. They said they didn't want my primitive animal-like penis there. Is that a racist? Honestly. You really think that's the problem? Well, I know. Cause that's what I read in plain broken English. I've heard that. With the L's and R's switched around. That is weird that because of your penis, you can't go to China. I've always felt sorry for you about that. It is another title of a song. So don't forget. Yeah. Okay. Because my penis, I can't go to China. Cause I know you love China. You love China. I went to China. Okay. But why? And that was where they, so you're, they saw your penis and they're like, I'm sorry. What is, go back. What is this scanner? This is an ancient British hillside giant with a real masculine vibe. Getting, he's getting a makeover. Why are they giving him a makeover? What's oh, it's from CBC radio. Is that a crop circle? So what's the makeover? He's already, he's already circumcised. The worst crop circle. CBC radio is communist broadcasting corporation, by the way. Oh shit. Shots fired. CBC. Yeah. I mean, I would say China from me going to China there and then going to Canada, China is less communist than Canada. That is for sure. That is for sure. It's like better healthcare and less hot communist. Yeah. Unreal. Do they have them flying cars? This is the part that really bothers me. Is it flying cars thing of a, remember the article came out and I'm like, are you shitting me? Like communist China is going to have flying the thing that we, well now I don't complain because I jerk off in Waymo's or something better. I'm not worried about that, but you've never jerked off in a flying car. Oh, I've never joined the mile. Did you like, I wonder if Katy Perry and them when they went in that space Waymo to, uh, they did. Of course they did. Cause they weren't driving them bitches. Hands were free. Professor, forgive my vulgar cohost. I have to ask you, are drugs still legal in Canada? Because when I went there to do standup, somebody brought me a legal vial of evidence on drugs in Canada. Yeah. Oh, that's different though. China, a lot of cool drugs aren't legal there. Yeah. So drugs are illegal in China. Drugs are illegal in China. Yeah, that's right. All of them. All of them. We, yeah. Yeah. Well, what was available when I went there? This is in 20, this is before Trump got elected. So 2015, um, there's a bunch of people that always wore masks like, like a COVID mask from back from the bird flu days, I guess. Yeah. And then it looked like Blade Runner kind of the cities. Cause it was like a New York sized city all next to each other that I went to for this tour. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, I was like, Oh, this is like the future. And it was the future. Right. Yep. There's some people that always are going to wear masks like China, but our future ain't going to be as good as fucking China, which he doesn't seem to enjoy. Yeah. It's China with bad healthcare. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, we're going into South Korea land and I know people think South Korea is amazing. I want you to understand it's just North Korea with lights. That's all South Korea is. That's crazy. They don't go look at the suicide rates of terrible North Korea versus South Korea. And you'll be surprised to learn South Korea is much higher. Now, why is that? Oh, because they have the exact same system except theirs is like Samsung and some other fuck. I'm going to get in charge or something. Look, I don't, I don't, I don't mean to be a debunker here, man, but if I'm going to guess, you're going to get higher suicide rates in South Korea is because how do you report suicide in North Korea? I don't think they're going to publish suicides in North Korea, right? Yeah. But. But South Korea also has like the lowest fertility rate in the world. What? Yeah. The future. Oh, I got you. Remember Cloud Atlas where they showed Tom Hanks as a South Korean clone escaping for two seconds. Remember that shit? Wow. Play leveled up arcades. Trade games. Beat the heat. Get your tickets today at netflix.com slash house. The perfect lunch combo. That first bite of your favorite sub, followed by ice cold Pepsi. Add a couple of friends, and now that's next level. Suddenly, the laughs get louder, the stories keep flowing, And the food tastes better, because Pepsi brings out more flavor more fun and more of the moment food deserves pepsi grab a pepsi zero sugar today the adult average adult male data an average erect penile length i actually pretend i did this study i'm not allowed in their country i did this study when i was in college i had to measure korean penises for a semester they said if i want to come into their country with my dick i have to buy two seat belts for the airplane seat and i refuse so i guess i'll never go there cock is keeping you from so many wonderful countries well i'm not gonna i'm not gonna pay the phantom cock tax that these countries try to inflict on a on a champion astronaut and judges i oh how do you respond to the charges that you're not a professor professor jay um i'm not a professor yeah i'm not a professor yeah that's great because i saw three people like he's not a professor and i'm like what's he i mean like yeah i'm not a professor well i am an astronaut and a judge i hope that's okay yeah i wouldn't lie about something like i'm a doctor you know a lot of people say don't go to astronaut program and law school to become a judge like first of all most people can't even achieve either of those things on their own so it's a lot to take on but i did it can i ask a serious question for the professor what do you think you your predictions are so scary and so accurate you freak everybody out we can i have cold sweats when i watch your videos it freaks me out i'm not a professor i'm not a professor i'm not a professor what do you think about all of these like tech companies saying we're in the singularity yeah what do you think about that so um i think the um ambition is to um create the antichrist system and so imagine a world the united states where everyone has a tattoo which identifies you it's a tattoo and there's a microchip in your brain yeah so rather than the iphone right the iphone becomes part of your brain right so that's a system they they want to move move towards are you christian um i'm not christian but but but but i love jesus okay there you go you think the book of revelation though is like i i agree with you like it's kind of creepily accurate when you when you look at that and then look at where technology is going some identification uh probably probably not a tattoo probably a chip right like we already put a chip in you know dude it listen it already happened the whole thing happened already that's where you live in now right now it's consolidating the companies down because they just think of like that i i still think of north korea getting nukes and how much we had to stop that and we didn't stop it remember and we even sent seth rogan and james franco in a movie to kill kim jong-un right yeah and um and and then there was a fake hack that wasn't from north korea but they said it was about that sony lady's fucking pussy bleach she bought okay and uh and then they got and i mean that we the way we have to stop iran from getting a nuke we stopped them and then they got a nuke and then i don't remember a single other thing about it after that yeah it's all well blank and then when i came to we didn't know if women had dicks or not so do you see how they've mass rolled out the fucking program they don't need a chip yeah you don't need a computer you just need a good house of cards and and a constant trauma like a um jump scare movie yeah right but um but the thing is to implement the system uh as kirk point out points out you have to burn down this system so you need like civil war you need um good luck with these fat gay fucks yeah well all these fat they ain't going no fucking wars um they can barely pick up a ninja sword like yeah you need a civil war you need a national draft uh you you need to burn down the system and then the other thing that's going to happen very quickly is uh the aa bubble bursts yeah and then the national government the federal government comes in and nationalizes the data centers yeah there you go right yeah so now these data centers become military military installations they have imminent domain so you can't complain about the water the electricity which they already have now by the way people can run out of their shit now as if they lived in communist china well no see but the thing is like once they nationalize the data centers they can now socialize the losses and privatize the gains right it's the taxpayers who are not to pay for the data center that was our album socializing right that kind of happened with tick tock yeah we bought tick tock it's like there you go look look new york times man you can always stretch new york times man new trump administration is repurposing federal land yeah well we can now that we know the idf has gotten more of a foothold into it as with most of our uh news i just watched a cbs amazing barry weiss run cbs much better by the way where the late uh this reporter stones have flock cameras how like if you got nothing to hide you don't got to worry about a flock camera that's why it's really bad to be against flat cameras that's right there's nothing and also china man if you're against flock how are we going to keep up with your communist you're you're for china wait if you're against flock you're yeah because like because if you stop ai yeah china will become the ai superpower and then yeah it will destroy them to be you want them to win do you want china i don't want them to win exactly man you think diet coke wants you to want that you love flock or you're not which am i supposed to do you're supposed to love i love exactly if you want to represent the coca-cola diet coke loves flock are you kidding and that's because they're paying you but for the altruistic andrew wilson reasons for believable andrew wilson reasons and also you know i'm sure you know about this they you know the technology that's coming is they can use wi-fi to see people inside of houses yeah and the flock drones so it's basically there will be no more privacy and i think that there is it now can you pull up i can't even jerk off in a waymo alone yeah yeah can you pull up sam altman saying there will the future will be no more privacy well i want to watch him jerk off so i hope he's right dude he doesn't jerk off so by the way instead of burning shit look if you want to i do i think he kills people man that doesn't mean you don't jerk off yeah that's uh was that's the only way to achieve an erection not saying that i've heard that's a thing but play this real quick you don't have to play it actually i could do it hey you'll have no freedom you'll have no agency there'll be a perfect surveillance data wait wait wait wait wait that's what it is wait keep going keep going you're gonna get great but you will have there will be nothing left in the world for you to really do nothing that really matters so just kind of live what about victimizing and then cannibalizing children obviously that past time will be around you won't be able to do that i'm in the epstein files you've only mentioned this a million times yeah yeah i have because i'm you all don't know who the fuck you're talking to being in the epstein files that's in class yeah so but but um your local butate but wouldn't you say china is like i guess you were already making the point we're kind of the same but china's already a surveillance state like it is and honestly i thought china was the ultimate surveillance state i come over here it's much worse man your job has a better surveillance state no no no the united states has a much more thorough surveillance state i come to the united states and you have these waymos you have these flock cameras they're not there china doesn't have those yet also like your iphone dude i can't even use my like um alarm clock without selling my soul it's the most ridiculous thing like you know you turn on the alarm clock because like you know you want to wake up at seven o'clock it's like oh you have to sell us your soul first like fuck you man okay i got bad news for you we cover um well past but future episode misery boys liquid death uh they did something where you're selling your soul to have liquid they did do a ritual on the no joke they did some kind of bizarre why would you do that ritual into the water yeah and then they stopped selling whatever the good water was they're selling because they went to a cheaper cheaper worse form of water oh man yeah see look it's a satirical marketing campaign that lets you join their anyway the so this is a devil country um wait i want to get back to the antichrist system though because that okay but duncan hold on hold on we're gonna get this will go right to that because before we started filming because you were talking about habad babavichers to uh danny jones yeah because i contend habad is kind of a mooney's kind of intel organization yep yep like an anti-communist that's why we like this cult that's why uh cia would pick cults to win and lose in the cult just like they do with companies because we're a fucking crazy feudal nightmare place so so uh uh uh they pick these habad and and when you were on my other podcast you were talking about the same thing nathaniel smart chain was talking about these body hopper people yeah uh rabbi schneers in the the machine one of the mashiach i guess in uh that habad horse shit just how in the moon he's the one guy is the successor to the christ yeah sure uh there's some weird body hopping thing you were telling danny jones a great story about mark zuckerberg but then you told me outside that um oh when when lord are you familiar with um larry loomer yes you mean laura loomer no larry loomer larry loomer no okay you know sometimes people mispronounce a laura loomer it was like osama bin laden usama yeah remember there'd be like a u or an o yeah it's the same same thing okay so i just pronounce it correctly larry but you can say lord too okay thanks and uh she suddenly was because she if you recall this maga uh larry is really maga you know and like we got stopped the ukraine war which trump got right on that didn't he yeah and uh stopped in a it would never even happen if he had been there that's right so she uh uh this lovely young woman larry would say uh everything anti and it almost seemed like russian propaganda and i guess you could say it was russian in a way but you better not or it'd be anti-semitic anyway she fucking suddenly switches to the ukraine side because she went to ukraine and talked this fucking habad rabbi over there and i what i didn't finish telling you is i think that motherfucking guy is the same guy who said uh right sector the nazi group is cool now because this moron vlad davidson on my show they want to like ambush debate me a student of andrew wilson you think you're gonna beat you think you're gonna beat one of the top students of andrew wilson of debating with a surprise debate about how we should keep giving our money to fucking ukraine i swear to god wow his dad's in the atlanta he's from the atlantic council or some shit his dad some what was it turk i think it's kazakhstani fucking gangster i assume because he said he's a king maker when i looked him up what what is his surname davidson david z david's son oh okay uh who the fuck knows but atlanta council i assume this is some human trafficking mafia ring immediately i assume you're engaged in all the worst parts of soccer um anyway he showed me a picture i'm holding up a red and black ukrainian flag like right sector that fucking shitty nazi group not just azov they got a bunch of nazi groups right sector and it had a star of david on it and i was laughing like why are you showing me that and he goes oh it's okay the rabbi said and i bet it's that fucking habad rabbi who made this announcement that all these nazi militias are cool now yeah yeah so if you notice here in america we got a bunch of like uh ethnic white state mano fucking white sphere people that have these like bizarre left turns where they go i don't like their jews but to say israel would have tried to kill charlie kirk is insane yeah what the fuck and it well i it you know look you can be sincere and take a total 180 degree turn it's you do what this is it's a it's a crusades okay so before these christians went out to kill all these muslims the pope would absolve them of any future crimes right and a lot of these were psychopaths like serial killers yeah the pope says well you know if you if you go and go kill muslims that will absolve the fact that you've killed children in the past it's it's a balance it out you have to kill a muslim to absolve yourself of killing a christian you have to kill a muslim to absolve yourself of killing a christian child no no no no but it works because andrew wilson debated owen shroyer about this with the andrew wilson took the sober position that there's nothing in the epstein files to worry about and um it was perfect wait hold on i'm sorry real quick professor when what do you mean when did the pope do this absolutely so during the crusades oh the actual crusades not recently yeah the actual crusades the pope said that if you go and you kill muslims yeah all the crimes that you've committed in the past we will absolve you off everyone knows possible you eat children you have sex and eat children but you go and to like Jerusalem you kill muslims yes you're good of god in fact you could have a you could eat a few more children if you do that yeah man muslim children you could eat more if you do your duty first and i have to do it first but what if on the way put in the words of the great andrew wilson defending trump's first two years in office to owen shroyer another candace ellen's type demon he goes he goes oh so you're mad about the iran war so you say you're mad about but what's the problem going and killing a bunch of over there who's the fuck said that andrew wilson the best debater i've ever heard and i went and i said you know what that's a great point that's a great point you know i i yeah of course you'd want him to go against candace ellen anyone ever said i i didn't know the half of it of how amazing this guy's takes are he's like you never know of course he's the guy that you would pick so something as important as destroying candace owens do you realize that candace owens if they fucking destroyed her no one would ever suspect anything about the charlie kirk killing ever again nope do you realize that so there's only this one bitch standing in the way yeah of them nailing a guilty furry who kid definitely killed charlie kirk and no one else still guilty and charlie kirk and i want to point out again is the great andrew wilson trickled out in his words the evidence because he released the the text today see why i had to trickle it out because it totally affected it totally made it more believable instead of less believable that he did that so he goes charlie kirk is texting with the amazing security and i don't want to hear you any i know you're not doing it now but i've heard tanner do it don't attack that security team don't harass them like they're bad at their job charlie kirk had a great security team okay and we at least will concede that point won't we even if we're candace loving pieces of shit we can acknowledge it that's a top-notch is that was one of his security guards no that is uh charlie in heaven now living living how he is a real man because he doesn't have that clone bitch dragging him down wait so oh no who is that i can't get boned up right now that's bonnie blue why are we talking about bonnie blue on this i don't know what's happening can you not distract with bonnie blue why not go back to bonnie blue for a second tom hanks his other kid is going to go back to bonnie blue for a second tom hanks his other kid while you while we're trying to fucking have a discussion i thought it was princess diana anyway uh that text charlie goes hey remind the security team that they're there for only one person's security will you and he goes oh we don't worry we have spheres of something we have rogan spheres of protection around some shit like yeah and then he goes okay because i'm somewhat worried the left is trying to kill me somewhat so that's a pretty high degree someone's just below overwhelmingly worried right right i can't believe you were just somewhat on the wilson scale i don't know where somewhat is it's not high enough uh wait who is that is that ugly betty i don't watch network television what is that okay pulling that up wait wait is that and frank but duncan take that shit off you know can you stop with the propaganda for two seconds tanner oh my god tanner are you with the fucking ccp why did you put up a picture of and frank are you guys all working together or tanner needs a ccp cold cock in a filipino listen because this is outrageous let's get wait that tweet though that text that how does this connect to the antichrist system well you 20 minutes ago you're in you said this is gonna connect to the anti-fucking christ i know and you're good people well i don't know my friend at diet coke said maybe don't take diet coke into the area of the antichrist and talk about something else diet coke it tastes good wherever you are no one has ever debated that there's no one sitting here and said it doesn't taste good wherever you are and you know that tastes good wherever that's a dirty fucking cook would taste good in hell i would go to hell gladly if i knew there'd be a supply of diet coke i would good i would go to hell for a diet coke if i needed one well i guess the professor just has to sit here and listen to two fucking lunatics ramble well we're talking about is this torture is this your way of attacking i've been on a show twice man okay yeah i've questioned him repeatedly so that's how i know you've questioned him yeah and i use the wilson method i don't i go listen dude i don't give a shit if you're pregnant i'm coming to you harsh oh man well then he would say somebody oh that's great name seven more go ahead anybody tell you the answers um boy what a charming person that andrew wilson is that's the main thing well that's the that is what we'll take away from this episode uh so wait habad this is why i want to set him up for habad because i think they're the ones that okayed that fucking nazi as of is like they're the good guys now and they're making instead of the not whatever swazi they have a maggie david on there um what do you yeah like habad what have you learned about habad because you're saying to danny jones on his show yeah and schneerson in particular yeah they they control the world man look if you look at habad louisville they are influential and connected in the united states in ukraine in russia in israel and argentina you look at all where all the major wars are happening it's all in like habad like areas right russia ukraine uh israel iran also like um during the um ukraine peace talks jared kushner went to and steve wickhoff went to talk to um um latimer ladensky and latimer putin and also larry fink was part of the talks oh he's great it's all about man wow it's crazy larry fink's the best that's the guy who actually came up with dei and uh oh yeah that's right that's that's true exactly larry fink what we have wokeness because of larry fink in case you're wondering uh larry fink oh how about 200 years in what 220 i didn't 200 years what was the like what started more like 200 years okay so um the um habad louisville is just one of many hasidic jew you've got an awful audience back there by the way they're always yeah we were just going over that thank you for saying it yeah carly who's there and the other tanners so so so you know what i don't know what hasidic judaism is right yeah okay so um habad louisville is just one of many family dynasties that belong to the hasidic uh judaic um traditions so like these um so the so it's a snareson family that runs about lubavitch got it and they basically marry each they they married cousins like it's all right pretty incestuous you're like those stupid arabs do that we only acknowledge yeah man you're those dirty he's all cousin why are they so inbred pieces of shit yeah yeah so how about liveridge was founded in uh uh ukraine the ukraine uh belarus area it was yeah yeah and they've been there for about 20 years and they they were one of the most heavily persecuted um why they seem so cool well why were they persecuted well because um you had the uh russia under the czar was pretty anti-semitic and then he met some hubbard lubavitchers and that's why probably yeah and then you had um um during the soviet union they were also heavily persecuted and so um what happened was that to survive about lubavitch became the most masonic um group of all the jews right oh are they i guess that's really yeah because they were the most heavily persecuted wow i didn't know they were the most messianic but that's very interesting yeah they were messianic yes it's almost hermetic like a little you persecuted and there's like oh it's the end of the world so if you go to about louis website they call rebecca snerson the seventh and the final rebbe of the hubbard lubavitch movement oh so they it's imminent now yes he died in 1994 and if you look if you look at history okay all the that's that's been happening in the middle east started after his death wow and so you can make the argument that the people in hubbard louvitch they believe he is the messiah and all the wars in the middle east are to usher in the end time so that he he comes back as the messiah of the jews because he's like a dalai lama that which is man yeah so so basically they're wagging the dog here they're trying to like make the apocalypse happen to get get him back and dude the apocalypse is happening right now do you think it actually is happening have you seen the news you've got this war in the middle east that is spreading all over the place okay before it was just israel united states versus iran now you've got the hoofies involved yeah right you've got israel attacking lebanon yeah turkey's being brought into the war it's spread into egypt saudi arabia has been brought brought into the war now you're seeing the collapse of the global economy do you know but what's been happening in japan the um okay so so japan is getting more deviant oh yes that's right yeah come on it's nice nothing like it so so uh in japan they do something called the yang carry trade and it's very simple so um because of deflation the bank of japan lends money to japanese corporations and banks at zero percent interest what okay yeah yeah it's for the japanese yang carry trade and then so what these banks and corporations do is they take this money and they invest it overseas right at higher interest so they buy u.s treasuries at five percent right so they only went for zero percent they go by u.s u.s treasuries which is the safest asset in the world at five percent so they're making five five percent easy and because of this for the past 20 years japan has invested 3.5 trillion dollars on u.s treasuries which is the safest asset in the world okay most of it actually goes united states so japan has about 1.1 trillion dollars of u.s treasuries so it's the japanese who are funding your degenerate lifestyles in america man thank you guys yeah again we thank the japanese we thank diet coke and coca-cola and all their families yeah you salute to japan yes yes you guys should have like a statue of mero in in here and let's get a mirror statue in here well i've been saying that but you have so but it's yeah get it dude that's my trump ballroom that right okay so so uh the two biggest buyers of u.s treasuries are japan and the middle east the gcc okay okay and guess what's happening the middle east is being destroyed by this war they can't steal it they're winning yeah yeah yeah exactly straight of hormuz yeah it's open well no okay it's open andrew wilson argued that are you okay i know for a fact it is open yeah andrew wilson dude the great andrew wilson said it was going to be cleared up by now and i know for a fact well you know we need to set up a debate between me and andrew wilson okay so you you get on the phone that would be amazing call your master and get him over here yeah call your little master yeah call your master he's got a crowdfund three hundred thousand dollars so he's so proud of being one of his students i deserve at least a million man okay can i tell you the key to winning a debate sun tzu said this pay your opponent 300 000 american dollars that is from the art of war put it in escrow yeah i'll tell you that no matter what happens you're the winner yeah yeah so okay so i mean you've you've okay so yeah you guys are screwed okay because like the two biggest funders of your like degenerate lifestyle are the middle east and japan thank you guys and right now because of your stupid little war in iran they don't have any money so they have to be paid one stupid thing about them no for real i think this is the one place i disagree with you okay yeah go ahead man well i mean come on do you want iran to have a nuclear bomb do you tanner that's a fair question is that what you want okay i know carly wants that because she says it with her face with the look she gives oh i would love if iran was atomic suddenly that's how you get a kaiju a gajira comes rising out of them straight up you win okay okay i appreciate you you're a humble you know you you channel sun too and you brought up nuclear weapons and that always went to debate so you're absolutely right yeah it's terrifying exactly iran has a nuclear weapon that's right so so that's the wilson method okay but but that doesn't negate the fact that the u.s economy is completely screwed because the u.s stock market especially the ai it's a it's it's a ponzi scheme right so you got you need more people to put money in the u.s market mystery boy coin a lot of this money is coming from the gcc and from japan yeah they can't put their money in here so then you have the uh economy collapse because the bubbles burst so what is your this is something on the way here i was wondering and then you have the antichrist come well don't point at me when you say that okay no wow there's not one antichrist by the way there's not one oh here we go that's a it's a system it's a i'm not saying i'm just telling you what it says first of all he goes there will be antichrists with an s among you which means anything in place of christ so right it's not a thing that's coming you've been you you live in it you've been living in it out of the gate when they found in america you lived in it what is everybody talking about what the when you founded america you what you were living in the antichrist if it's in place of christ 35th degree oh my god did you know that they added two extra degrees the enigmatic order of the diet cokes yeah that's the anyway i can't reveal the secret but a hole's a hole what is this are you seriously gonna do that we all know what what no no what what is this children it is the last hour and just as that is a strange translation of that so how many antichrists so now many who translated that because that's not how that normally is written and that's certainly well it does say antichrist plural isn't that what you're yeah fishing for oh okay yeah i did say it yeah dear children this is the last hour and as you have heard the antichrist is coming even now many antichrists have come this is how we know it's the last hour now please go that's still translated strange put all english translations please oh it was right there i mean i don't know if you were looking at the thing that but okay there you go right there john 218. i gotta ask you professor why do you think i mean i i marvel at this stuff that that long ago yeah somehow and i don't know if this is just me projecting meaning onto something it's archaic it doesn't i don't feel like it is but what's your theory on how thousands of years ago with pretty pretty great accuracy they laid out a map for what was coming yeah well i mean there are two explanations okay the first explanation is the bible is a source code for western civilization so the ideas of the bible are embedded in the ear where you breathe in western civilization people think in terms of biblical prophecy that's one explanation yeah another explanation is that um people who engage in a cult people who engage um in deep religious practice they have insight into the deepest secrets of human history you know human history stretched back tens of thousands of years if you looked if you just look at human history from a very broad perspective there are cycles and what we're experiencing is an empire in decline yeah and an empire decline tends to have certain patterns to it and including uh trying to create the anti-christ system including starting wars overseas including uh economic collapse and global famine so everything that we're experiencing now people experience when the roman empire collapsed i see and when before that when the babylon empire collapsed right right so this is a recurring pattern when empires collapse it usually leads to mass trauma right a loss in internet service as well that's not the worst thing man that it will not happen yeah okay starling look starling yeah here's from as a guy grew up in a doomsday in a doomsday uh cult yeah um what and and i get this from uh gary wayne because uh and and because he does good research in this kind of bible shit but this is the thing i said before i was watching him um the armageddon summer stock to these people you understand it's a shakespeare oh how did the thing come true that you wrote they're so happy about what's happening yeah people in this show yeah right and so gary wayne though points this out because if you're going to go by what it said in there you these assholes don't get to decide when the end is so yeah there have been many many things where people said this is definitely the end yeah but that's because if you want to believe that what's in the script they don't get to say when the end is even though they want it all the time it's very hard and i agree with that that breathing and that's what i call like the principalities is like the air you breathe the like memetic air you breathe the fuck yeah and and it because it really if you live in in a certain country a lot of that just built into you yeah to to naturally like certain music yep yep right and naturally get certain concepts that are bizarre to somebody in another country that doesn't have them right so they want it they think they can win the fight which if you grew up as i did that day it's like oh why would you think that first of all and it's a big pyramid scheme it's a big multi-level marketing scheme at the end of the day they're in the upline and i've heard them use those terminology of upline and shit to talk about it what does that mean upline you never did uh amway the american way no i never did oh oh you should you could do we'll have a meeting about later but really i'd love to get involved it is a great way to make money and not and work for yourself for once sounds good going to business for yourself what do you do i i could always use more money i have so many kids what do you do uh yeah i had a friend when i was in high school go hey carrie i want you to come over my house i'm having for a business meeting and i need you and he said wear something nice like my church clothes i guess and we were both idiots and i was like does he want me to suck his dick put on a lobster bib go come to my house um and it was amway i swear to god a guy in an all-white suit and a white no way and a white fedora no way and a suit with a like a vest giving a presentation to people from my church because jove's witness is already geared towards ah i wouldn't say joe's was an mlm because there's not like sales goals you have to hit but you are it it is like a mlm is like a weird perversion of if you were spreading the good news it's like a weird religion man yeah and and that's they the quest for all these people has been to take jesus out of the thing because jesus uh and i didn't see the i saw the title of one of your videos but i didn't see the actual speech but jesus is a problem for empire yeah sure yeah he does not compatible with an american empire or any kind of ethno state war doesn't work well with war especially on war so you got to find weird lizard reasons to make it okay to keep it going right and clearly they're trying to make the end happen right now yeah but like i said that ain't up to them i mean if you're going to go by that lore that they're going by it's not up to them in their own fucking shit it's not up right so i don't understand the thought process but people you know there's people think andrew wilson is not a charming man and a good debater i don't and i don't can't believe that i try to get my head around it but i give up because that guy that's so crazy man yeah so crazy it is that doesn't make sense professor earlier you said and maybe you were joking but i hope you're not you have a plan for world peace yeah what is it the world my plan is this okay stop attacking iran and start invading canada well i've been viewing do you want canada to have a war with iran i don't know i don't know nuclear bomb canada has some dark uh principalities in defense of it that you don't even know about it yeah oh did you see that the canadians the canadians oh my god something real the canadians every time we're having a nice show having some drinks things get knocked over yes yes the source of all evil in this world are the canadians so let's just go they're more communist than china in fact they have like yeah it's bizarre china dude we were smoking in the mall and shit when i went to canada i was like oh my god i'm gonna go to canada i'm gonna go to canada i'm gonna go to canada my friend you know this guy's storm place you can smoke in the mall you know fucking rule dude you can take a shit in the mall do this guy's uh storm shoe the comedians were pretty good like because they all got vpn comedy so they all understood when i said pretty good i mean they understood your sense of humor like you could it translated to people that spoke english that were at the shows so you're saying i'm sorry keep going kurt i'm sorry god damn it what i was just i want to emphasize something he said but storm we went to go eat it was hot and i didn't have any not everything the only chinese food i had was hot pot it's the only time i ate chinese food everything was like hot pot that's pretty fun you dip stuff in this fried oil oh yeah that's fine yeah take a oh there it is yeah hot pot oh hell yeah that was good very popular yeah yeah we couldn't find yang i swear this yeah it's a yang yeah it's it's it's the um it's the expression of chinese philosophy in cooking man yeah i want that the oil makes you i mean i wasn't able to eat a lot but i i was like probably being really you're supposed to like devour but i'm like dude the oil fills me up anyway we couldn't park and he parked at this building it's like these lower stairs to the building he just parked his car diagonally on the stairs and i was like hey storm i don't think we could do this can you because now it's fine it's it's uh after six the cops went home wow did you know the canadians are trying to uh black out the united states right now yeah it's not the war i heard that we're in a trade war oh i think man with porno they're trying to black our no no no no no the canadians upset that they're going to cut off the electricity to the united states yeah they did say that we farm out our electricity to canada yeah shit that's an act of war man yeah that's an act of war yeah oh boy what is shamed his brother's legacy his brother that we all liked can we look up his brother tommy boy ford have nukes of course it does they do can we look that up it kind of something much worse okay we're just passive aggressive behavior oh yeah okay did you see don't hey it's not too late it's not too late they don't have nukes do you want canada to have fucking nukes i don't do you think they're close absolutely man what yeah within months okay that's why we need greenland that's why i keep telling people gotta fucking take greenland and canada right because how are we gonna keep them from getting a nuke president trump if you're watching this i know you watch the show we gotta fucking go in there oh no oh no oh my god canada is ready for you guys to beat a canadian opponent physical self-defense you must utilize standard martial arts you'll die following that what is this targeting high vulnerability such as the groin liver chin and solar plexus is this true is this how you beat a canadian no you have to be really polite to be to be a canadian oh you're being a little bit rude it's a test to see who can say sorry the most you gotta say it right don't say it like a jerk off yeah don't be plastic oh when you say sore like you're feeling sore and then e yeah yeah you've got a yeah okay wait i'm gonna go take a quick shit and uh because i want to call big big homie cc's calling in too professor zhang if you thought this wasn't one of the biggest mystery boys ever guess what because i want to talk about two things i know everyone's not talking about what uh uh clavicular yes oh my god yeah no one's talking about how many do you need to talk about because the new uh june the june the king doc came out about him which is great did you know he was a peter thiel's uh blood boy yeah he told me that he's a blood prostitute yeah yeah blood bags blood boys dude hans kim plays jimmy doors playing uh jeff boyardee the billionaire in my show the cutout is coming out very soon the guy's like um peter thiel's barbie doll i never knew that but that's amazing and wait so nobody knows but they suck because you're an adult with kids right that's the idea it's like i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know it's like he's draining his blood no they run it supposedly it doesn't work but why are they doing it um anyway there's a doc about him that came out and also there you go you know edp 445 do you know about edp 445 duncan oh my god because i sent you the doc and i sent oh i'm so sorry i didn't watch it i'm sorry we've been watching the lindsey clancy trial and i didn't get to what oh that fucking who gives a shit thing oh guess what i'm gonna say she's innocent because who gives a fuck why is everybody getting in on that well because i'll tell you why the reason people are interested is somehow the prosecutors are so wretched that they have made a woman who murdered her three children with exercise bands seem like a hero and that is the craziest shit of all time they should have got andrew wilson to do it because then maybe you get the outcome you want yeah so the only thing i've heard about was like she was like had brain damage from jumping out a window and when she came through her husband told her she murdered the kids well no she strangled her children with exercise bands and she was like how do we know that because she fucking said so she strangled them with exercise bands and while strangling them said go to god go to god and these prosecutors are so bad she said that out loud well according to her but why'd she do that because uh she was on a shit ton of psychiatric meds and you know oh well this is more important than this i understand why you had to watch it because i didn't want to talk about this i'm just appalled no our pharmaceutical uh industry has been attacked for too long with this shit and i yeah that's for sure because you know oh hey people start gambling for no reason or they become like homosexual from heterosexual are they sharp scores for no reason yo them pills everybody's on if you don't think you've been warped by them in ways that you can't imagine well sit there and watch this trial like a junior that you are dude the cocktail of drugs that she was on is so insane and the different psychiatrists talking about onboarding we decided to onboard vexacopar and then we needed to reduce the darzant dosage by two milligrams and are you serious dude it is so insane and the whole time her husband's going into the psychiatrist with her saying she's a zombie now she's saying i need to get off these drugs and they're just like okay well why don't we just onboard zoloft and lower the semantics by four degrees it's like crazy okay so all these dumb sexy shit that i see on youtube that are like they're making videos judging somebody else not involved about if they think that she did it or not now but none of you saw this fucking psychiatric drug thing and you take them if you're a fucking and you're lost if you do i don't know how you're gonna ever get off of it you should have done crack instead it would be hunter biden's doing better than you mentally if you take them pills stupid exactly man yeah a lot of people's parents a lot of people's parents put them on that shit since they bring kids so you're a kind of mutant now and your brain don't work you were with him recently yeah exactly man yeah yeah hunter's cool in this chick anyway well that's i mean she killed three kids yeah it's not like she married her brother's widow that's not a high bar not like she suddenly married her brother's widow after you know she killed three kids significantly different that's true wait so the drug thing you know it makes impulsive behavior our friend brody who took his own life who was saying the same things that you're talking about right now yeah they were changing his dose too apparently when it happened so the point is get on the drugs early and stay on them don't change your dose don't get off them you know what's great to watch down my drugs don't get a refreshing diet coke which now we don't have the studies yet but so far encouraging results say it makes it kind of mitigates side effects listen to this that's the sound of america baby and maybe you don't like it we know man why don't you take that to mr ding when you say we know but i hate it man okay this is edp that's like a cross okay okay wait wait we'll show them edp so this documentary by mike clumb is one of the best netflix will never make a documentary as good as this one and this guy edp was a guy who would like he was like a kind of funny fatso online i guess that would talk about the eagles and he was like dirty and you know this is the years when we had uh seth rogan comedies i think when he was big so but he liked him and he is entertaining but turns out then he gets caught on online by a fucking do it diy hunter you know in america does china have roving bands of local guys who become online hunters that know my friend big j what's a good question okay there's no way to describe so big homie cc is well familiar with it so this guy dude i'm gonna tell you if you haven't seen this documentary yeah i don't look you got you have to see it netflix will never because the guy's black they're never gonna make this documentary just the way chris chan you brought the singularity when we merge with our technology and your blah blah that's chris chan is the singularity it already see that thing okay that's before he switched over and you want to talk about an inversion of jesus christ you know christ born of a virgin uh chris chan who says jesus by the way uh his elderly alzheimer's mother the exact inversion of being born by a virgin so there's behold the singularity we don't have time to get into him but i mean almost nobody knows about him i don't know how it's possible he's the most trolled human who ever lived the most nailed to a cross fucking yeah autistic freak that ever lived that is the singularity and everything now has crossed this benchmark of this thing so now go back to edp 40 so when you see how so nobody knew how depraved this fucker is but the guy who made the documentary it get dude it gets i it's like the matrix like you you have to see it we talked to him no that no oh my god dude that was big homie we didn't talk to him oh i wanted to get him but we couldn't we wasn't able to get that's big homie now look that's such a relief and people die coconut that duncan didn't mean nothing by that by what uh the the racial uh oh don't get woke on me now listen here we go don't get woke why don't you do a land acknowledgement what land well i like to do that so we can rub it in their face this is the you know the unseated territory of the uh comanche or something uh which we stole and they are never getting it back you know what i mean though like you get like you guys get it it's not like i'm trying to do an acknowledgement i'm just acknowledging the situation what you thought i mean you guys need a jeep after them i mean is that enough i mean what do you want wow you know professor jane would someone from the ccp make a point that great i don't think so hell no well thank you hell no no one for the ccp thank you i just you know what a chinese professor just taught me the meaning of thanksgiving exactly exactly okay i'm here let me pee and then we'll get uh big homie on okay great because too oh okay i mean wait let's do it again because we never say we only say we're oh yeah listen we have to take a quick yeah we'll be right back we'll be right back let's go i got a shit this is gutsy oh my god breaking news dolly parton's dead hey did you hear dolly parton's dead hello did you hear dolly parton's dead yes sir yes did you hear dolly parton died i just seen it come through on my uh twitter feed oh my god how old she's in her 80s right yeah she was old wow sad day pull up can you guys pull up dolly parton's boobs wow i had no idea that there was actually pictures of her breasts wow dude dolly parton died i know jenna just texted me look at this professor dolly parton died oh no yeah she was so puffy too was she yeah well she was 80. oh yeah 80 you could uh do you think she was still having sex what was she getting i'm trying she would be if i was there no of course any of us yeah man every single man in in america or china for that matter would make love to dolly parton because just to say you did it now as you know really because i find the female bottle body repulsive but to be not gay you have to do it many people love the female body they're called gay if you want to be a man you want to get on the war boat the mystery boys war boat okay yeah well yeah yeah oh we're back from a uh great that was a wonderful i've been eating fiber and that was incredible hey hey hey your restrooms are not transgender hey this isn't my spot look i feel violated what do you mean they're not why you say that because the signs we made that don't pay attention to that hey uh this is unprecedented because not only do we have professor jang on his final stop of the america tour uh we got uh mystery boys friend of the show big homie cc who gave us epstein's possible number to call what's up no epstein didn't answer that time but we'll call him again and uh homie big homie you're in um kenya now my dog okay - okay so um do you know are you familiar with professor jay are you familiar with big homie professor jay no he's got to put his cans on oh you know yeah but yeah i'm here so uh he's uh he finds people there and he used to be a body uh like a bodyguard for celebrities oh right yeah yeah yeah that's right and i liked watching him because he's one of the few people that said uh the p diddy thing you're never going to see them because he mentioned the comey's daughters the prosecutor that's right james comey's daughter that's right and uh uh what's her name maureen or something yeah maureen that's right yes yeah so the fix is in and so it's going to be because she presided over the glean maxwell trial and her job was to make sure you didn't find out any of the real so they could go the epstein's where they push it too far the the republicans i would say because they got the nerve to go oh it turned out i was just trafficking to himself and that's plausible okay and that's one spot where i disagree with andrew wilson but he's so charming he sometimes sways me but i still think now there's more to it you know andrew wilson makes a compelling case not to pay attention to of it to it you know yeah wait wait are you doubting your master right now yeah what's going on well i've become the master quite some time ago as an astronaut and judge i think he's only a master gunsmith and sniper oh right and not even in the field like i was i see okay got it so now you know now the apprentice has become the master that's just the moment congratulations but you got a soft spot in your heart for your early teachers yes you do you know i married a chick with uh six kids based on him good for you yeah good for her she makes me a nice breakfast of sloppy ass eggs hell yeah a lot of carbs wet eggs A lot of carbs and a FUPA. I got to ask, what's the sex like? Sloppy, dude. Wait, with a woman? Oh, we don't do that. Yeah, man. What are you talking about? I'm sorry. God. Sorry. Okay. So, I got so lost in talking about my Andrew Wilson lifestyle that I forgot Big Homie. Okay, so, also, and this is one of the most mind-blowing things. Big Homie, to my knowledge, is the first black man to ever see a Bigfoot. Oh, wow. What? But he might not be, but you're the first one I heard of. So, I'm just saying it. You saw a Sasquatch? A stuffed one. I also have photos that I took. Of the Bigfoot. Wait, but of the guy's display. So, just explain the thing to Duncan, because he doesn't know about you working for some guy. So, here's the thing, right? Working as a private bodyguard in the private sector, I ended up on a lot of teams. With ex-military guys. And me being non-military, I'll have to do all the grunt work. Right. Hey, as a guy who's been on a security team, you would never go and make sure the roof was safe. And the Charlie Kirk thing, if you were security, right? I mean, there's no reason to be suspicious of. Bro, if you are not sealing the entire perimeter, rooftops of everything in a certain perimeter, then you're just like the bullshit Secret Service, which is like ex-police officers. Right. That's going through just another. Training Academy. You're talking about the Thomas Crooks one? Because that was Homeland Security on loan, those fat lunch ladies. Yeah, and then, contrary to popular belief, all law enforcement agencies don't get along and they don't work together well. So, this is the same way they killed Kennedy. Because the day before he was assassinated, they swapped out his entire Secret Service team, did the same thing to Trump, and he got shot. Well, I don't want to be conspiratorial, like somehow that's suspicious that they would do that the last. Yeah, don't be conspiratorial. We're not about. And the Diet Coke's not about that. No way. You can't see what Doggin has on, but it's a Diet Coke can, so it's very important that we don't. It's my favorite drink, big homie. Now, let's. We got to wrap. We got to finish the Bigfoot story, because he started it. Would you start the Bigfoot story over so the professor can hear you? Yeah, so basically, I was working on a security team with some Rangers. I was the guy who was non-military, and I was the youngest. The grunt work. Doing the grunt work, I'm grilling up burgers. I'm carrying boxes of fucking Miller Lite and Bud Lite. And I ended up befriending the client's wife. And then the client took a liking to me because his wife liked me. And he invited me into his trophy room, because he's an avid hunter, big game hunter. He's traversed the world hunting. And once I got into his trophy room, I locked eyes with something that. Technically shouldn't be there. And when I saw it, I said, well, you know, I'm the only black dude here. And I'm looking at. Looks like a taxidermy man that's eight feet tall. Something I wouldn't want to fight on a dark night in the wilderness. And basically, I'll never forget his words. He looked at me being astonished, and he said, the big old boys are real. They're out there. They're out there. But are you sure that wasn't just a big dude he killed? Bro, I've killed people before, bro. I've shot people before, bro. I know that's not. But I mean, if I had a human corpse embalmed in my trophy room. It wasn't human. It wasn't human. I mean, if you do see an eight-foot-tall human, you should embalm them. That's a crazy trophy. You have to. Wait, wait, wait. But you had another part of that. You said his hand wasn't on? Like, there was a separate display for his hand. So, I noticed that one hand on the body that was taxidermy towering over me, I've seen that it was sewed off at the end. And when I looked at his display above, like, the little fireplace, I seen his hand. I seen a hand that was splayed open in a glass case. And allegedly, that was the hand that belonged to this creature. Now, mind you, I'm 6'6". I'm, like, 400 pounds right now. And the creature that I see, taxidermy, did not look like a monkey to me. It wasn't a gorilla. It wasn't a chimpanzee. It wasn't an ape. It looked like a man. But it was not a man. And. How important was this guy? I mean, did you work for him for a long time? Because I'm. And I got a collection of kooky. And Duncan has, I promise you, a collection of kooky-ass stories of being around important people. We should make a whole other podcast called "Tell You After the Show" because it's that nuts. Yeah, yeah. But. Hundred percent. Hundred percent. And one of them had a goddamn Bigfoot corpse. Yeah. So that's. Because, I mean, that's, like, I don't even know what industry you would even be connected to where you would be connected to that. Yeah. Was he, like, just finance? Well, I'll say this. Once my story went public, I got contacted by a guy named Todd Gatewood. And Todd Gatewood has been mastering footage from the Patty footage. And he put me in contact with another person who also has a taxidermy one. Jesus. So him and Todd Standing are meeting with me when I get back to the States to go see that one. So he wants to release photos. I'll give Kurt the professional courtesy to have the first access to that. Wow! As a fellow mystery. Yes! Because we, you know, the mystery boys are. Not quite police level, but, you know, when you can't go. We have clearance. We have lots of clearances. So, but did this guy say that he shot the Bigfoot or he just bought the. What he said to me was that the body itself came down from Washington State. Okay. He paid a significant amount of money for it. There was an auction for it. He won the auction. Wow. And he's got it on his property. It's in Colorado right now. How big was that? Like, if you had to guess. He said eight feet tall. Eight feet. Oh, eight feet. I'm six foot six. Yeah. It was a minimum two feet taller than me. About possibly three feet wider than me. Pause. And, you know, the hair on my neck stood up. I got goosebumps because I knew I was looking at something that existed. Wow. I always knew it. I always knew it existed. And he didn't say anything about it, but he gave me an ominous look once he seen I've locked eyes on it. He had a slight smirk on his face. And that's when he looked at me and he said, the big old boys are real. They're out there. That is sinister. And that was his exact words. I'll never forget it. Did you. Could you see its dick? No. Yeah, that's my question. How does Bigfoot get laid? Yeah. Yeah, that's a question I want to ask. Was it. So it's. It could have been a female. The females have visual breasts. This had the body of a bodybuilder, pretty much. But where was the. Oh, somebody drew. Wait, somebody said, what is his dick like? You see, that's someone drew it. That's a big dick. Yeah, I mean, I'm sorry. People are going to be like, why are you always going to this gross shit? But for real, like, I. What is gross about Bigfoot's dick? Well, I mean, it's a question, like. Was that in a separate case by the hand? Right. It was in the hand. Yeah, that's. That's a pretty big dick, yeah. They do. Well, it's similar to horses. Like, where horses, when they mate, their phallus is almost unseen until they get around. You better believe it. So if we find Bigfoot, do you think Bonnie Blue would volunteer to fuck it? Yeah. Yeah, what? Of course. Yeah, there'd be a line out the door. Her whole family supports her in that endeavor, so they get it done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's noble. Well, when I visited certain Native American reservations, they would speak about how they used to take women. Yeah. That's awful. And they would always tell the ladies, don't go outside the visual view of the fire and don't walk into the tree line after night. I say that to my lady this day. Unless you want one of them big. Unless you want one of them NBA boned. Yeah, man. Unless you want to get Bigfoot. This Twilight Bone book that he's displaying, Rogan is who first told me about Bigfoot porn. Yeah, it's huge. Do you see how racial it is, too? By the way, when Teen Wolf came out back in the day, I was like, is this a metaphor about finding out you're half black? Because he finds out his parents never told him. Say that again? Pardon me. I was talking to my wife. Oh, oh. Do you ever see Teen Wolf, one or two, big homie? Teen? Yes, sir. I've seen Teen Wolf. Is that about growing up and finding out you're half black or not? Because what happens? Oh, first, he's not cool. Then he finds out he's a werewolf. And then he gets really good at basketball. And then even though he's so good at basketball, they start calling him a dog instead of respect. And then the next one's about boxing. It's the fucking weirdest shit. It's a weird movie. They're both weird as hell. Can you guys pull up Come for Bigfoot? This is another in the genre of Bigfoot porn. I would say this is. Wait, do they have this in China, a Bigfoot? Yeah, so Bigfoot, these aliens are racist as fuck. Because, like, they never come to China. - Welcome to China. - Yeah, come for Bigfoot. - Well, what about the one-- What about a Yeti? Yeah. Isn't that the Himalayas? That's not China. Well, but China has. So there's no Bigfoot cryptid or anything? No, no, nothing. You've got no Bigfoot. You've got no aliens. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Aliens refuse to adopt Chinese people. That sucks. Really? I thought that there are stories from China. There are not? There's none. Hmm. Yeah. There's no Chinese cryptid. Dude. Okay, but Duncan says that a lot of these aliens are Chinese people in the future. And you think it's because they can't talk to their past selves? I never said. Did I say that? Before the Diet Coke thing, that is perfectly normal and not. Any kind of nefarious Duncan goes and teaches them how to explain aliens to people and other things like that. I do not. Well, then I don't know what the fuck he was saying. It sounded racist. I didn't say that. Did I say that? It sounds like I would have said that. No, you guys were there. He said these future aliens. And I corrected him that they're actually the Sami people who can look Asian, but they're not. Oh, I remember. No, this is my theory. China is probably going to win the AI race if it's true. Get a super intelligence. The super intelligence is going to figure out a way to navigate time-space, aka time machine. And the gray aliens, because they do have like a sort of Asian features, it probably indicates that China gets the super intelligence. Flock cameras, man. Let's get flock cameras everywhere, you know? Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Is that ringing sound that we lost big homie? Yeah, I think so, yeah. We lost him. Yeah. He's in Kenya. I mean, yeah. Why is he in Kenya? Great question. Well, people will be like, hey, he's a cop. And I was like, that's probably why. I don't know. People say he's a cop, but I'm like, I don't care. Good. I'm not pro gangbanger. Well, look, I got to ask the professor another question. We only have a limited amount of time with him. Are you a prepper? Like, what are you doing? Like, everything that you are describing is so terrible. It's terrifying. Yeah. What are you doing to get ready for it? You have kids. You know, I think that what's going to save us is Jesus. I think that, you know, you can prep all you want, but, like, ultimately, it's Jesus that can save us. Yeah. Right. So, I think it's about spirituality. I think it's about coming to terms with your own mortality and living a good life. Repent. I'm repenting, man. Repent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm giving up, you know, my life of Diet Coke. Oh, come on. You don't have to jit now. Come on. Are you seriously going to do that? Let me say this. In the book of Revelation, it talks about Diet Coke. You have to get the right translation, but Diet Coke is essentially the blood of Christ. It's the communion. It's the actual communion. Well, there's a transubstantiation. Thank you. Taste the substantiation. Yeah. This is. This is. Are you aware in. that woman in China. I can't remember what the cult's called, but it's in China, and I'd never heard of it until very recently. And it was basically because there's not a lot of Christians there like that, and if they are, they're actually meeting in somebody's house. Oh, yeah. Old school. So then some woman claims to be Jesus' Chinese woman, and then they would bust into these meetings, and it sounds like if you ran an underground gambling ring, and they're like, we're taking over your gambling operation, except it's with Jesus' belief. And this woman said, so, like the original Jesus, she has her men beat you with a lead pipe if you don't turn your meeting over. I don't remember what it's called. Some dude in China read the Bible, and the guy was illiterate, right? But he reads the Bible. That's a good trick. And he thinks he's Jesus' brother. And he thinks that he's Jesus' Chinese brother. I don't know how that works, but yeah, they're brothers. His younger brother, I would assume. Yeah. And then he starts a religious movement, and tens of millions actually join the movement, and it starts a civil war in China. When was this? This is the 19th century. Oh, the Box Rebellion is this? No, no, no, no, no. This is the Heavenly Peace Rebellion. Ah. China's got a lot of. China's got some dense lore. Yeah, man. So, like, you can pretend to be Jesus' brother and just rule the country. I say I'm Paul. Everybody tries to be Jesus, but what about Paul? The guy who comes in, hey, I got here late. I'll take it from here, guys. Saul. It's Saul. It's Saul, actually. Used to be Saul. Now you're Paul. Now I'm Paul. Yeah. Okay. Big homie, we lost you. We got big homie back on the line. Kurt, check your text messages right now. I have it up for him. It's the Shenanji Bigfoot. Is that from China? In China, yeah. Well, well, professor. How do you explain this? They look like apes. This is just. That's not an ape. National Park in China. Oh, wow. Okay. That's a Sasquatch. Well, that convinces me now. Yep. Yeah. You just got Wilsoned. That's right. Wow. That's right. Yes. Yes. There you go. So there is a Chinese Sasquatch. That's right. And that means everything else you say is wrong. Exactly. Exactly. You got me, man. The Andrew Wilson School of Logic. Yes. Yes. They call it the Yeren. Out there, it's called the Yeren. Say it again. How do you spell it? You know, I'm so relieved. Bigfoot is not racist after all. Thank God. Yeah, thank God. That's what I care about, really. Go ahead. Same. R-E-U. R-E-N. Oh, that's right. The Yeren. Okay. So, because when you were on my show, Professor Zhang, you didn't know about all these, like, Tong things. Once you get, like, people where they're not, they don't have a religion like how here you do, it's amazing how much they don't think or know about any of that stuff or give a shit. It's, like, amazing. Yeah, it is. And I heard there's a thing people get. Somebody told me, one of these expats, it's like Jerusalem Syndrome in Israel, where people think they're Jesus because they went to Israel for some reason. In China, they get so isolated because nobody else is into Christianity, they start thinking, like, a bird on their window is a message from God. Wow. And it's, like, a weird, like, going from spiritual isolation, really. Yeah. Well, the reason they say a bird is because in several biblical texts, prophets said a crow landed and spoke to them in English. Eugen and Mugen, that's Odin's eyes. Wait, in the Bible? Well, that's weird that the crow spoke in English. It should be probably, didn't understand. I've heard of that in things, but not as a Bible thing. Not in the edited King James Version Bible. What is that, like, the cooler game of, oh, Game of Fire and Ice Bible? By the way, those books have this shit. There's 700 different Bibles. Big homie, Professor Zhang told me, I still think this is real. I laughed when you told me, but I think you're right. Because I remember seeing George R.R. Martin at the Emmys, like, dicking around, not finishing that book. Yeah. What is your theory of that, Professor Zhang? My theory is that if you can inhabit people's consciousness forever, you can live forever. So you've got, like, millions of people, who are waiting for you to finish this stupid book that you'll never finish, and, like, they're just waiting and waiting, you just won't die. That's right. A strategy of tension. Like Operation Gladio shit, but with a book. It made me laugh, too, but it's real. It's real, yeah. You think I'm joking? No, you're really joking. And then he never finished that fucking book, and that's what he'll be known for. Wow. You just live in that desire. He went to a day of rest like God. Wow. He didn't even finish a book. And so, like, you know, that conscious energy just traps him in our time. Yes, yes. And he can't leave. It's so brilliant. It's true. It's weird for a guy that's cribbing from history so much, you'd think he'd be able to fill in the rest just based on all the history. Yeah. Alright, so this is why I wanted a big. Even though Bigfoot and this are a good topic, I want a big. Big Homie knows about EDP 445, right? Did you say you don't know about that? Can you hear me? Can you hear us? Big Homie. Come in, Big Homie. I hear him. Hey, can you hear us? Yes, I'm here. Okay. I'm here. You know about EDP 445, right? Yes. The guy who is beloved online, and then somebody did a do-it-yourself health sting. Yes, I know. That's a good idea. Okay, the new documentary by this guy Mike Klum. Now, Tanner, do you have that clip that I texted you earlier from Keto Casino? Because this documentary. I can't recommend. The tonal whiplash of it is like. Cool. It feels like you got. Okay, so. I don't want to watch that. No, I'm telling you, you have to. This is all. I don't want that feeling. Yet you've hung out. A man in a Diet Coke can. Alright, wait. So, this clip. So, this guy has people he hates online, right? And then he has people that he calls real N-words, okay? And so, this is who he loves. Now, I got this. I got this from Keto Casino. Shout out to Keto Casino. And this made me laugh. And I immediately called. Texted Rogan this shit. Because this is how Rogan figures in this documentary, which I find hysterical. Because remember we learned he might be Richard Grieco? Oh, yeah. Okay. Might. He might be, but I think it's a good chance. I don't know if it's a might anymore. Okay, go ahead and play. This is this guy. Now, after. When they're showing you this, this is after he just got done saying something horrific that will give you pause. Okay, go ahead. Play it. I want to introduce you guys. to the real fucking gangsters of the fucking internet. You know, there's like a billion YouTubers Oh my god, please God, no, no, no This is a real eclectic list of people You know, this is crazy when he fucking pulls up Then I'm full support of EDP First up, we got Andrew Tate He likes to preach about I'm with him on that Well, he got felted Next up, we got my fucking name Donald fucking Trump Oh my God This guy's a fucking piece Broke it, bro I got a message Hey, this is your buddy Joe He goes like, I got a message, Metzger Well, guess what? I did text Joe In his podcast, he's always shitting on fucking women Yeah, it's fucking I love that bitch Andrew Tate's brother, so yeah, you're already fucked That's enough said On to my motherfucking main nigga, Ben Shapiro This is the funniest shit The craziest It's like, what? What? I mean, what? And I forget who's even at the end But, um, this is This guy, you find out partway through Has been sent When he likes a girl, he sends her pictures of his shits To flirt Oh Luckily, that's at the end of it But it's just like, right when you're like This is kind of what the fuck on its own Wow But I promise you, if you watch this documentary There is like, just one after another You're like, why did this? This guy agreed to do this? Wow And, dude, and when I look at EDP That guy looks like he has some kind of Asperger So, Rogan Funnily enough, told me about how in China They were doing some kind of I don't know, gene thing in the population I don't know if it was vaccines or something There's something he probably heard from somebody he knows At some spec ops or something, right? And it was to make their IQs higher And I'm like, oh, I bet China did do that What do you think they did here? Because all these Asperger's People that are like America's quest is to make everybody a sociopath Like that Destiny streamer That's America's, that's the ultimate American goal Is make you a psychopath, but it doesn't work So what's the next best thing? People that can't, they have a filter problem With feeling normally towards humans And they buy all the products and they don't drive cars Right Yeah, that's big homie Well, because Professor Zhang has to leave, so yeah, we do need big homie Hey, so, big homie EDP You saw, you're familiar with His saga, right? Absolutely Okay, so, does he look like He doesn't know what's wrong? He's also protected Why? Well Is he a big foot? Well, there seems to be a Concerted effort Amongst governments to give Leniency to people who participate In child humiliation And sacrifice But why not? Andrew Tate, then, what did he do wrong? Andrew Tate Never went through the humiliation rituals That these other people go through Did you not see that last fight? Well, that was his That was definitely An attempt by him But They've never been able to compromise him The way they compromise everybody else Really? Dude, everything I see from that guy Including his book about Growing up in America Growing up with his dad The CIA chess player guy He's doing Kung Fu with butterflies Which is very MK Monarch Oh, Professor Zhang's got a head Hoofing back to China, dude Yeah, man That's why he got big homies still Okay, alright, man That was great I really appreciate it You're awesome, man Great to meet you Thanks for coming on the show It's a rare one I got both Professor Zhang on his way out Yes America Safe travels, Professor Thank you, thank you And tell the CCP if they want to know about What was that? Billings, Montana? You guys are in, man We're in You guys are in Yeah Yeah Exactly I know that spy balloon went to Billings, Montana I'll tell them everything about Billings for $6 And I want Billings to know I did it Hey, let's Take that word back to you You know what? We're going to start calling the show The CCP Presents The Mystery Boys Oh, I thought that the title Girthful Streams Kind of sounded like a Like a Girthful Streams is crazy I got it from the Clavicular documentary Okay, well I've got to use I've got to I have to do a number two So All right, Duncan has to take another shit And I'm going to talk to Big Homie Thank you very much, Professor Zhang Get home safe Okay, so Why do you think somebody's protected, not protected? You said that Andrew Tate You think that his boxing match Against the gay guy with pink gloves Who just had better wind Which is, I mean An important part of boxing He wanted that to be a humiliation But that's not good enough? No, it's definitely not good enough Because, you know He played the trafficking game Like everybody else did And didn't suffer any of the consequences And didn't have to go through the same rituals And process as everybody else He did everything on his own terms They don't like that Well, who the fuck was back Why would he have a tech company in Israel Or be like with Nick Fuentes Who's a fucking homunculus or something Like what Who How I don't know I know his dad had to be some CIA thing And he reeks of MK Monarch to me Especially all the butterfly imagery And all the other bullshit And that Iggy Semmelweis piece of shit Who's a 60 year old I think fucking Probably a Chabad as well For sure Well, the thing is this You know You can ask any Avid Bigfoot researcher Anyone who's looking for places to grow weed They'll tell you that In those areas You're going to encounter Chinese dudes in KMO With automatic weapons Okay So Yeah, what's the big deal Yeah, the Chinese are operating in our country Pretty much without impunity Because they're together Like dude COVID I think came from Raleigh And not even Wuhan I think everybody who's responsible For their own country's You know Reaping They've allowed Whenever they say China's the enemy I'm like Why are they making our shoes And our viruses and phones for us then If they're our enemy Last year Over 60,000 war-age Chinese males Crossed the border Right And they left their They left their identification They pick up They're given a pamphlet on where to go And you ask them where they're going And say they're going to camp I remember this I remember this story Now how much of this That's a real story Yeah, well Redacted Reported on it early And there's a lot of bizarre You know Do you remember that Oh, wow You look Your face looks completely different Since you took that shit Well, that's because I just relieved my bowels And now your skin's looser? Yeah Damn Yeah Let's go I've been eating so many sardines Okay Okay Okay , so What was that Was it fair? It's not fairway What's that furniture thing that they said is Wayfair Oh, Wayfair So you remember that Wayfair thing, right? Yes, I do And so I didn't know there's like a And I got this from Crazy Days and Nights, by the way There's a thing in Mexico Like a generational traffickers of humans Gangster thing I don't know I can't remember what it's called Okay You find out Crazy Days and Nights And that's what that was covering And that's why you're here You have the names And I didn't pay attention to this at the time But when it was debunked And I'm making air quotes when I say debunked Debunked They were like, oh, they don't stuff kids in the pillows Or in the furniture But obviously that's not what that fucking means Do you know anything about the Sound of Freedom, big homie? Because Yes I think that guy's full of shit Did somebody say Sound of Freedom? I'll just tell you, I think that guy's full of shit The dear, the The guy from Sound of Freedom Seems a little weird, right? Well, he's a Scientologist There's some bullshit And we had him on We had these other people on Jimmy's show Yeah, Tim Ballard Since when does the Department of Homeland Security Give a fuck about trafficked kids? And why is it focused across the border And not here in America, the capital of that? Also, I found Well, Scientology Scientology Is the biggest human trafficking organization in the world Yeah, that's on point I agree with him Well, can you tell me about that? Well, Scientology is the biggest human trafficking organization in the world Can you talk about that more? Yep Bigger than Mormons? Well, this is the only They have a free They have a free labor source Which is basically slave slavery And it's the largest in the world Like, you know Every gang stalking case that I investigated It led back to Scientology Because what group of middle-aged people Don't have to be at work And they have time to gang stalk people? Right Ha ha ha It always leads back to them That's why I stopped investigating Dude, that's wild Because they say they call it squirrel busting Is that what Scientologists call it? If they gang stalk you? That's what they do to ex-members It's famous No, this is in their doctrine It's like if someone attacks you Fair game Fair game That's what it is And that's a very common thing A bunch of A lot of cult-like organizations Gangs Fucking They take your pick of things Right It's fair enough If you betray us We get to come after you Right And Scientology Theology compromises you by getting you confess all of the terrible things you've done in your life so they hold that against you so they have the leverage against you and they pretty much just use you for the rest of your life until you decide to get out of the organization what nexium did too it's a classic that's right there's one move it's like it's all the same thing it's a pyramid structure right and you just run this fucking game on people over and over and it works like you just gotta switch out the names it's what epstein did p diddy it's just uh the hero with a thousand faces yeah yeah you know and it's also yeah good he did he is uh well have you ever heard the uh jay-z has a verse on drake's song pound cake where he mentions his l grand style to one on the mantle no fucking sweetie pie i know that well yeah like they all worship certain deities just like in our government they they make everything science fiction because in all actuality they serve those what's l grand santa oh l grand l grand santa one uh that is a yoruba nigerian deity part of witchcraft oh that looks fun yep okay i know what you're talking about yeah i've seen this so it's like when madonna does kabbalah there's like a rich black people version of it too well that's belation that's the talented 10th that's a black illuminati yeah well just like when lady gaga is on the tonight show and she says i swear to lucifer yeah right and i by the way i think lucifer is a black illuminati and i think lucifer is a black illuminati and i think lucifer is a black illuminati and i think lucifer is a black illuminati and i think lucifer is a black illuminati and i think lucifer is a black illuminati actually like nimrod apollo not even a fucking it's certainly not satan wait um so no no no no see that's the thing right there like when we did the outreach program with the catholic church at saint thomas moore um me and my brother were able to go on three exorcisms yeah and i'll never i'll never do it again but why uh well after we went to the second one me and my brother were able to go we all we both had the same dream of us murdering our grandmother fuck yeah and then and then uh we had an experience where we went with the father every exorcist goes with a medical people security um and a backup or like a intern somebody that's studying and uh we we've seen a small child say that we are legion um the child knew things about me and my brother there was no way the child could know um the child spoke in different languages and this is a small child the child was able to grab me by my hoodie and pull me down to her in a chair and i couldn't just overpower so wow yeah yeah so like there's some risk of contagion or the hitchhiker effect when you get around stuff like that yeah if you're not spiritually sound you can become possessed yeah it seems dangerous to be around an exorcism yeah it's definitely dangerous you know what i had somebody tell me what there's a dude who's a comic i got in fact i gotta get him on this show but there's a comic that you may or may not know him but he's been there at an exorcism like that and not because he it was like they at is in south america they asked him to like help hold this guy and um and they and so he so this is just an interesting thing to me he said that so there's some woman there some old lady psychic you know uh which that's not particularly impressive but i was just like and she could but she could see the the thing on you supposedly so i go well what does it look like and he said that she described it as a black not that it's a snake but like a shape snake shaped yeah pitch black wrapped around his spine is what it looked like that's creepy as hell gave me an exorcism no joke why they thought i was possessed did you tell me you're gonna be a rapper or something no wait why they think you're possessed they just i was exhibiting these traits and you know what happened during the exorcism what i came out of my body what the fuck i first i'm hearing this yeah who's andrew vickers why is that up who's that isn't that the oh yes it was andrew vickers the comic who's oh he's like super catholic and but wait what's andrew vickers what he's a cop that's the guy that was telling me that ah he assisted in the exorcism but it's just holding down somebody but the point is that the real interesting part to me is i go was because i don't know what the shit thing looks like and i had never heard that before a black snake wrapped around your spine but that would add up with your chakras and what have you and even in kabbalah or shit that's the thing that tells you like the serpent's trying to make you think you are it when you're young and when you're old you think it is god that's a zohar thing or something which let's say it's just poetry i think there's something to it because you're not those things you're your choices big homie what do you think about this lindsey clancy trial because when i see this shit this woman who strangled her kids you know i feel like if that's not demonic possession what is well demonic possession is often considered schizophrenia right you're just that's just the bottom line you know if you just are a polymath that's called schizophrenia now that's a fucking slang yeah you're right oh you know about more than one thing you must be a fucking schizo kim trails your schizo by the way skim there's that i made fun of them people that said that yeah well they are real they call it geoengineering right much like ufos that they now call uaps right why would you have to change your name and unless you or with trump would they have to get them on some name they had to make up because they're guilty of all those other things like but not the epstein shit he did fucking do right of course they're telling us we have to rap soon what's happening tanner you gotta get you got some weird filipino thing to do banana knife classes or something banana knife is hilarious i've been around filipinos okay i know about you don't have to take it to the most vile racist place every andrew wilson's course that i took said that's how you win and i did win and i dominated you and you got destroyed and that will be reflected in the thumbnail you beat him that's true and you could learn how to do that too with the mystery boys okay we do have to wrap soon all right big homie cc thank you for calling in i'm gonna talk to uh dog face so big homie recommend another guy dog face that we're gonna talk to cool um oh yeah oh yeah y'all gonna do some big things that dude he he's legit and he's gonna he's gonna make it happen for you thank you sounds like saint christopher with a dog face come on uh dog face calderon uh all right man thanks for calling in big homie uh good to hear from you and uh that's from you again big homie oh my god damn are you fucking shitting me oh is that sorry that's what oh no oh it's a stupid fucking buster that tanner's friend from school i thought but i don't somebody told me he's related to andrew wilson now we can't confirm that but i know he's a good debater this whole shit wait what he's just coming don't fall for him are you you think that's real buster you piece of shit buster i hope it's real you son of a bitch yeah i was just you know having some fun up in the rafters sorry guys all right big homie thank you they this is uh nonsense that is not pertained to you but it's this piece of shit buster we've had on the show who's that just who's that blonde guy not that guy zoom in on him real quick i didn't finish you know can you unstrap his shoulder harness so he does hang this fucking dirty fucking god that's disgusting buster come on man what are you doing what okay there's andrew wilson talk about a hero god you tied this so tight i can't get it off buster jesus you're rock hard all right well we're gonna have to wrap this up wait is big homie still in the light big homie uh thanks man he hung up he's gone oh thank okay because i was i honestly god i don't want my black friends to have to see this weird gay shit buster does this is the humiliation ritual you know look i'm white dude so yeah you you you could try to say i'm not but i you're not everyone knows you're not people try to take it away from me you're not but white is as white does is what my mama said it's what my dark dark mother said well my brown tan tan mother told me that white is as white does um and this uh buster he's just gonna come if you do that that's the worst part with him the worst part of this fucking scumbag push me again oh here we go yeah yeah he likes it that's the thing i wish i took him in into the uh restroom for a poop um anyway it was a lot to digest today i want to thank die coke uh hey thank you so thanks for having me on guys don't forget this is america's drink don't succumb to cc not coke what are you a fat fuck die coke there's no sugar in it it's very healthy very good for you mick jagger drinks it and he wants it all the time he's like 700 years old see john mulaney's set about it on that one special where he explains the guy needs a diet coke it's the drink of champions and this is for you oh a little bit of clavicular blood in your diet coke that's a fun recipe too by the way oh my gosh guys got the best hips in the business you want to follow professor zhong just go to ccp.edu uh and big homies in kenya uh i don't think you should seek him out he has to go to kenya frequently for uh explaining uh that bigfoot thing i think is most explosive knowledge that he has even though he's a lot of explosive knowledge he's an amazing man and i'm so grateful to you big homie for being here guys don't apologize to pray for this piece of shit and remember you are alive and don't think you're involved in his orgasm because you're not and i'm not yeah they are that's his fucking thing and it's got nothing to do with me so and no you're not going to gaslight this audience you're not going to gaslight me don't look at me no one can see me when i come i'm invisible i i just am absolutely repulsed and i can't see anything all right that's disgusting let's get out of here fuck you buster you're disgusting you're disgusting yeah i'm a naughty boy that's it i'm gonna fuck this dude up you just pushed it way too far oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah fuck you don't do that again cut this don't do that again cut that you cut it now yeah cut this shit fuck you buster you saw it fucking nasty maybe one day maybe then i'll make that trip and try again till that day i'll keep my pride and walk this earth with extra stride i can't get into china i can't get into china i'm too much man for the visa too much man for the visa too much man too much man i can't get into china i can't get into china they said step back a little i said i'm back here that's just my kid too much man Life start here. Play leveled up arcade games. Beat the heat. Get your tickets today at Netflix.com slash house.

Podcast Summary

Key Points:

  1. Netflix House at Galleria Dallas offers immersive, themed experiences inspired by popular shows like Stranger Things and Squid Game, featuring arcade games, exclusive merch, and themed food.
  2. The episode features a satirical, fictional narrative involving conspiracy theories, including claims about Professor Zhang working for the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), and absurd claims about global political control, surveillance, and cultural influence.
  3. The discussion includes exaggerated takes on global events, such as the role of tech, AI, surveillance, and geopolitical power, blending humor with dystopian themes about data control, government overreach, and the future of privacy.

Summary:

The transcript blends promotional content for Netflix House at Galleria Dallas with a satirical, conspiracy-driven podcast episode filled with fictional and absurd claims. It promotes themed entertainment, food, and interactive experiences inspired by popular media, positioning the event as a fun, social escape. However, much of the content veers into far-fetched political and cultural conspiracies—such as false allegations that Professor Zhang works for the CCP, claims about global surveillance networks, and speculative narratives involving religious, political, and economic manipulation.

These ideas are presented with humor and irony, often using exaggerated or nonsensical logic. The episode also touches on broader themes like technological surveillance, the influence of corporations, and global power shifts, framing them through a fictional lens. Despite the absurdity, the piece serves as a satirical commentary on current anxieties around technology, politics, and control.

The underlying tone remains comedic and critical, using over-the-top scenarios to highlight how misinformation and conspiracy theories can shape public discourse. The narrative ultimately mocks both real-world issues and the proliferation of unfounded claims, reinforcing its role as entertainment rather than factual reporting.

FAQs

Netflix House at Galleria Dallas is a themed escape destination inspired by popular Netflix shows like Stranger Things and Squid Game. It offers fans immersive experiences, including themed food, drinks, arcade games, and exclusive merchandise.

You can get your tickets to Netflix House at Galleria Dallas by visiting netflix.com/house and purchasing them online.

Visitors can play leveled-up arcade games, enjoy themed food and drinks, shop exclusive merchandise, and relax in a fun, interactive environment inspired by fan-favorite Netflix series.

Yes, Netflix House is designed for groups and encourages bringing your crew to enjoy a shared experience with food, games, and social interaction.

Yes, the experience includes a 'perfect lunch combo' such as a favorite sub followed by ice cold Pepsi, which enhances the flavor and overall enjoyment of the meal.

Yes, the transcript includes several discussions on conspiracy theories, such as claims about Chinese influence, surveillance, and political figures, but these are presented as satirical or fictional elements.

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