Pretty Little Episode #96

this is a head gum podcast pretty little episode hi it's your friend tig hi and i'm it's your friend may as well yeah and we're here on the pretty little episode of the handsome pod just catching up catching up yeah elated to be catching up um how are you adjusting to being off the road oh man i am i'm still going through all the stuff that people gave me and it's and it's uh it is wild and like 99 of it is so sweet and amazing every once in a while i get something a little unsettling or that gets under my skin and like what well tig i got this and i don't know if someone's listening who made this i think the intention for sure are that if they gave you something they're for sure they're listening oh then i feel bad but it was strange it was a puzzle so it was like this sealed very like escape roomy puzzle um that needed a code and it came with a written clue that was like the code it's an eight letter word it's something meaningful to you and then the clue was like the state of georgia was one of the first states to like something about civil rights or something anyway so i sat with it for a long time i was like this is very whimsical and enthralling to me then i cracked it it was feel good because george and georgia there's character called george so i put feel good in i open it up and it's another puzzle and it's two little things and but then this clue was quite strange it was like i was like i haven't i'm not a big fan of yours but it said i it was like i'm not really a devoted fan but um i know you used to do drugs and this clue is about all the things you were running from or trying to suppress by self-medicating with drugs so that first of all can you imagine the gift that would have been given if they were a massive fan yes yes so i was like that's a little personal but and a little flippant but also maybe that you know people are you know and and maybe they they like the show feel good i don't know but then i open up these little things that are inside the puzzle and there's fake cigarettes and fake joints and i unroll them all and the joints are made out of biblical passages from saint paul's letters to the ephesians which is like man should not lie with another man as he would with a woman you should not drink wine it's like the most kind of evangelical strict stuff so i'm like oh i feel a little uneasy about that and then i tape them all together because it's kind of a puzzle and on the back of it once i tape it together it's like addict shame regret trauma and i'm like oh boy so at that point i'm i'm like oh wow i don't know what the intention is here yeah and then uh there's another letter in code and so i decoded that and also the whole time i'm like should i just stop doing this but yeah i can't because i love a puzzle and sure oh my god do you know how quickly that would have been in the trash for me but they went to so much trouble but it was sort of in in in bad taste because i was like i now have this jar of fake joints made out of bible passages you know what i mean but listen and and then also in their letter they were like this probably wasn't received well or something so it was like they knew that i was gonna be unsettled by it but that's sort of i've been spending a lot of time going through the 99 of the things are so thoughtful and amazing and this was very well that was thoughtful very thoughtful yeah yeah it was sort of um eerie as well yeah it just all it does is remind me of how much i hate a game and a puzzle a puzzle yeah i see i didn't i loved the puzzle element of it but it was uh just seeing addict in big letters and like yeah because it was like all of these things that you're running from they add up to one thing and the answer was addict and i was like yeah okay anyway on with my day on to yeah to my dream catchers yeah yeah but it was um it's nice being off tour but i am i do sort of i'm now daydreaming about how i would do it next time how you would do your tour next yeah what i would change about it what would you change everything no i just would maybe no bus i think i might do bus again you know but i would just do god shorter stints with long breaks in between because there is something nice about feeling like you're camping out with your friends and but yeah i wouldn't be doing weeks at a time on the bus for sure i would just do like long weekends or something yeah i can't imagine like the trouble i have sleeping when i travel now if i were on a bus i i feel like i'd be camping and i know um there were these uh friends of mine that i ran into who are the wives of old friends of mine from the comedy world yeah and it was interesting because i've also i've had some like really hard stressful work things going on like overwhelmingly hard stressful oh yes we need to catch up off pod i need to hear all this but it's just it's producer things that i'm i'm just like i i don't know that i can i don't know that i have the nervous system for these yes kind of things like logistical juggling and just business business business stuff anyway uh and it's it's hard why was i saying that oh you bumped into the wives of old friends here yeah and okay thanks and i would i we all missed we happen to be on a flight we missed our connecting flight we were delayed we were on the tarmac we were seated by each other we had such a carefree it could have been hell you know yeah but we had this fun carefree connecting time in our delayed flight and like laughing and not talking about anything entertainment related just silliness and they have this yearly camping trip they do with this group of of women you know it's like 15 women that go yeah and they were they kept saying like you need to join us you and stephanie and and i was like well first of all stephanie will never camp anywhere that's not going to happen it will never happen and i was like i was sitting there thinking like i would love to do that but i don't know if i could sleep i know i don't know if i could sleep if i was camping but the joy that they were experiencing and they do it every year and um and the laughs i was having with them yeah it was so nice it was just worth a couple of nights of no but yeah sleep is so precious and then don't you find like i really found this on tour and you must find it all the time because you struggle to sleep like people their empathy runs out for it like they sort of lose and you're like i can't explain really that i haven't slept more than four hours for a week and it's i feel crazy and people are like oh yeah sleeping's hard and you're like you don't get it yeah like i know i look fine but i'm hanging on by a thread like and you're expected to learn like when i'm touring and then i'm also working up to filming something and i'm having to learn lines and i'm traveling and i'm on different time zones and i haven't slept and i have these zooms about production stuff that's so stressful i'm like at a party or a taping and i'm like on stage like i'm giving it all i've got but yeah i'm struggling i'm struggling my mind is fracturing yeah yeah you're like deeply fractured i'm here on three hours and i'm doing my best i'm doing my best and also meanwhile i've got a great life and i'm i really don't want to complain because i i've i i i'm i'm a lucky lucky ducky yeah i feel that too but also you're just one little body you know you're just one little body and you're just one little body and you're just you know i am one little body and i'm doing my best um and you know when i'm home on longer runs i'm i'm sleeping pretty well yeah these days but when i head off into the world it's tough it's tough and no c-pop these days got rid of the c-pop and just really focusing on keeping my schedule as close to what it is in la when i'm gone just so i can ease back in and i don't stress when i'm out late on the east coast because i'm like that's a normal time in la oh that's good um yeah so but anyway enough about that should we get into our um questions let's do it let's do it hello handsome pod this is justin from essex massachusetts i have a question for you and my question is at what age did you officially feel that you had reached adulthood. good question oh man I I've I mean I'm I'm only maybe feeling that in the past two years probably yeah maybe yeah maybe maybe meeting Parvati and living with with Parvanama for that that was a big well it boosted my confidence where I thought yeah yeah so that that was but I still have days where I feel really adolescent I everyone must right driving really changed everything for me just optically I see myself I catch a glimpse of myself in a reflection I'm driving my car past a store and I think there goes a big boy just that big boy's just rolling down the road yeah rolling down the road how about you I sometimes when I feel most adolescent is when I feel most adolescent I feel like I'm in the middle of the road I feel like I'm in the middle of the road is when I'm really having a deep silly laugh with someone yeah but in general I felt I think like an adult I think my life just changed so deeply after I was sick and um so yeah it was like around the 40 41 time when I was getting sick so I was sick when I was sick losing my I felt like I was just the depths of hell and um and taking life more seriously in the ways that it called for that I wasn't doing and um I wasn't taking my career seriously I wasn't I wasn't taking my health seriously I wasn't taking my relationships romantic relationships I just didn't take very seriously I just didn't take very seriously I just didn't take very seriously even if I fell for someone or enjoyed them I wasn't I was just always like well nurturing the relationship and caring for it yeah yeah and um even friendships I didn't step back and go god I'm lucky to have you yeah I am so appreciative and I think all of those things of really getting that perspective and holding on to it has made me feel like an adult and of course getting married and having children and and and being so devoted to this is a tough time but nobody else I'd rather have the toughest time with yeah or you know enjoy and worry about our children and um but also the greatest times with Stephanie all of that stuff just like I'm in it I'm in it and it's it matures you yeah and that that thing of going to the depths and then coming out again that's like the classic hero journey right you you you go deep down and then you you retrieve something you come back with some gem of depth or wisdom and yeah it I would feel insane if I came through those different bumps in my life and just felt still deeply carefree yeah and removed there would be something terribly wrong with me I think it can be kind of alienating sometimes when you've been through something so extreme and then not everyone can hold it you know and and I've I felt that in my teens and stuff like after like people sort of recoiling from the depth of it or what are the intensity of having to talk about it or feel it and and then it makes you gravitate towards other people which I think is really important with that that depth I think well yeah it's like even a friend of mine he's he's been struggling with his health the past three months and like deeply deeply struggling with his health and he texted me yesterday saying that that his surgery was successful and then he went into the details that he's been going through that he no longer he had these tubes removed he had this you know he no longer had those tubes removed he had this you know he no longer had those tubes removed he had those tubes removed he had those tubes removed he had those tubes removed he had this to do this and that and I was saying to him yeah it's like when you're really sick or you're hospitalized people just put this and no it's nobody's fault but they put this blanket idea of like yeah they're sick yeah but when you break down the details of hell that he's been going through is invasiveness the and the inability to take a deep breath because of what's going on with his lungs and just having shallows shallow shallow breaths every day for three months and and you can feel it from him he's just so thankful for the support and coming through it and there's no way he's not gonna have a very different perspective yeah yeah in this life but anyway that's when I felt like I matured that makes sense do we hear Justin's answer yeah I am 36 have a good career a great husband a wonderful dog we're actually out for a walk right now and there are times where I still feel like I'm 12 years old all right thank you handsome appreciate you all keep it handsome I mean the middle school age that is where I go if I'm feeling insecure like I yeah I went to an event with I want to actually I'll talk about it on the main pod but I will say like I went to an event with poverty and I was like I'm not going to do that I'm not going to do that I'm not going to do that I'm going to do that so they wanted a picture of us and then I I just in my body suddenly felt like I was in middle school and I was like please look in this picture please look in this picture and I was posing for the picture just to just we're smiling it's a nice picture and then I see online all these comments like May's body language is not good May looks not happy in this picture I'm like no I just was so tense and like thinking about wanting to look good in the picture that I do look like I just met poverty that reminds me of when I was on did I talk to you about or maybe I showed you this picture when I was on Drew Barrymore's show when we're hugging I look like I've not ever interacted with a human being before like the the robotic distance when I'm touch and it's of course highlighted because she is Drew Barrymore and she is so touchy-feely and but I'm like yeah and I'm just like hello Drew good to see you yeah it is the weirdest picture I've ever seen in my life of human contact can you send it I will send it yes indeed I will send it right let's hear another one oh yes let's let's let's hi fortune man tickets Amy from Brooklyn New York originally from Aotearoa New Zealand I have a question for you related to film or television when you're watching something is there anything that you're interested in that you're interested in that you're interested in about a production that sometimes seems off or wrong and once you notice it you just can't let it go you see it all the time I'm really interested in your answers as entertainment insiders thank you so often for me I'm taken out of out of you know just the world of the thing by some I mean I I just watched this movie dead of winter with Emma Thompson who I love and it looks like my kind of movie because it was like this woman in Alaska or she's in the middle of a snowy ice place and she sees that a girl has been kidnapped and she it's up to her and she's like a kind of Fargo esque woman and um there were so many massive plot holes it made no sense this this movie it was so wild and I couldn't follow it and then you could tell that in the edit that big things had been taken out or um I couldn't follow it and then you could tell that in the edit that big things had been taken out or um it was just it just made no sense and then um yeah that's the end of that story but and so that's what she's asking is like when we're watching something yeah like is is there something that takes you out like continuity or like um I mean and Emma Thompson was great in this movie but well I mean there are some writers or directors that shall remain nameless yeah that are so so popular yeah and I I feel they're writing and directing too much uh I can feel that they're trying to have a style and I understand some people just have a style but there it or when I'm watching I've watched their stuff yeah I feel like I'm reading a script like I can see I can see it or I've seen okay oh perfect example I was flying back to LA yesterday and I looked across the aisle and this this man was watching something on Bravo and it was clearly a reality show where you know blonde women were drinking wine or champagne and then something was happening and then they were clearly being interviewed about what was This happened. before and i was just like i had to turn away i was like oh my god like i i can't watch this i can see that this is not really happening oh even from just watching that someone else's screen you could see that yeah i know that i can feel the um the setup from the producers yeah where they're just like okay you guys look like you're celebrating right now and that you're having fun and that's that whole thing that goes back to the instagram element of like everything is curated people are this is this is the best of times this is my best picture this is the highlight of my life this is the and and i you know again as i've said before maybe i'll be tiktok tig tomorrow but i just i i'm so rejecting that and it's and and that was such an example of when i was watching it i was thinking like i know what they're saying behind the camera they're like okay guys and then let's lift your glasses and let's look like everybody's having a good time right now and you know and it's and i just i can't i can't that reminds me of this i used to be friends with someone i mean i'm not not friends with them now but this is when i lived in england and i would see pictures of them and be like god their life looks fun because in all the pictures their mouth is open they're kind of screaming at a party it's like what and i was like whoa fun and then i was at a party and someone said let me get a picture of you guys with with this person and i see that she is just going like opening her mouth and no sounds coming out so she's just right pretend screaming and yeah all that time i thought that they were catching her like right in the middle of a big scream but it was just her and so in the photo i'm just like smiling neutrally and she's like but there well there was no sound coming out fully those are those things like when you see people in those pictures or um and you and you see them in real life taking a picture they have their go-to looks they have their go-to responses and it's just like wanting to show i'm having a great time always and i know that's what a lot of social media is about but it's um it's i just feel so bad for kids who don't know that that's not real and so they think god my life must be really sad because but adults don't know it's real i know you're right you're right it's not just children adults are like i'm jealous i want to be at that party i want to be on a vacation on that island i want to be whatever it is that they're seeing and i'm sure people are having a great time on that island and that boat and that all of those things that they're doing yeah but they're also probably fighting with their husband totally you know their kid is not diarrhea or something yeah yeah it's just um you have to you know take it for what it is and realize that they're also having the same conflicts and issues that you are and then you're right about the director thing like i i mean i'll name names also i'm gonna say that i love the royal tenenbaums and a couple of those early wes anderson movies i love and then now it feels like a parody of a they don't have the same heart or something they're not as affecting because it's all about the color scheme and the quirky music and i yeah that happens a lot i think where someone becomes celebrated for one style and then they end up just doing a version of that that isn't as authentic yeah oh another thing is just hairstyles and things or wardrobe where you go no one would wear that or no one would have their hair like that right you can see the the stylist the wardrobe okay they're gonna wear a puffy vest and a yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no more puffy vests in hollywood my answer to this question is it doesn't ever look like people have liquid in the cups they're holding they're waving around it's always in cop shows they've got hot coffee it's clearly never hot coffee and i think they need to put some kind of liquid in the cups to make it look like a little i can't not see it it's everywhere um i love you guys it's the best part of the week thank you so much for doing what you do bye thank you amy yes fill those cups up fill those cups up because it's that hard also when people turn the lights off at night in their bedroom and then it's blue light like bright blue artificial light do you know what drives me nuts is on tv and film nobody ever says goodbye on the phone you're right like okay i'll be there yeah and then they just hang out at what time where where are we meeting yeah yeah but they never say goodbye that's so true ever yeah ever all right um i'm gonna tell you where i'm gonna be please do it yeah i'm gonna be in los angeles working out my new stuff rochester new york colorado springs uh calgary come on out to calgary iowa city des moines omaha oklahoma city cincinnati charleston west virginia and the road goes on forever i'm hitting the minor markets right now mainly minor markets some major markets peak in there and then i'll be adding more dates go to tignotaro.com and i will hit the major markets soon and potentially beyond check out uh maymartin.net for any random tour dates but also just i would love if people listen to my music on on spotify or wherever you get your music so i'm writing a new album that's exciting good wait to hear it and please continue to submit your questions and advice requests to speakpipe.com handsome pod and get our new merch at handsomepod.com there's great stuff on there yeah and until next time keep it keep it pretty handsome handsome is hosted by me fortune feimster tignotaro and may martin the show is produced recorded and edited by thomas roulette email us at handsome pod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at handsome pod that was a hate gun podcast