Pretty Little Episode #94

This is a Headgun Podcast. Handsome child, friends of Handsome Part, Chad and the friends of Handsome Part. Pretty little episode. Welcome to a pretty little episode of the Handsome Podcast. I'm one of your pretty little hosts, May Martin. I'm joined by Fortune Feenster. And of course Thomas, always looking beautiful. Thank you. So gorgeous. So thank you. Mustache. Mustache. I wonder if I could grow one, like a really solid one if I would. I think I could do it. I don't know, blonde hair in general. I would think light, you know, harder and usually not as coarse. Right, I would have like a soft little pubie mustache. Like a peach, like a peach fuzz sort of. Yeah. Yeah. Not as cool as you. You'd always try. You never know. Yeah. I sometimes grow mustache, not on purpose. Really? And then do you shave it? No. Okay. No, because I have blonde hair. So give it like there's like little little tiny, tiny hairs. But you can't see them. Right. You just see it if you put makeup on. That's when you see it. Yeah. Well, you know me. I love to put makeup on my mustache. I saw somebody. I saw someone came to a show the other night wearing the, I got cheese in my pocket t-shirt and it really made me laugh. Oh, I know. I've seen that one in person. Yeah. It was really one of your best, one of your best catch phrases. I've been seeing a lot of people come to my stand-up shows wearing the GAMS t-shirts and the Fortune Marie t-shirt. Oh, my God. I forgot about the Fortune Marie t-shirt and of course your stand-up shows must be all people with Fortune Marie. Well, it's funny to me because on the shirt, the Fortune Marie is humongous. Yes. You can see it. It's like everyone's yelling at you. You can see it. Yeah. And then the GAMS one is really funny in person because I don't know why. I mean, I thought it was cute when we saw the mock-ups of it. But when you see them in person, I'm like, oh, that shirt is pretty great. What does it say on it again? It's legs and cowboy boots that are kind of like up in the air and then it says, it just says GAMS. Oh, nice. Okay. Yeah. But it's a pretty funny shirt. Yeah. Yeah. We got some. Stop seeing a lot. I've been seeing a lot of those lately. I know. We have quite an array of merch. This is one of those pods where like if something tickles someone, you never know when it'll end up on a shirt. Yeah. And then I really like people say that if they are wearing the merch out in the world, it attracts like-minded people are like keeping hands on like in the weirdest places. I like that. They point at each other. Oh, I also see the peanut butter bit shirt quite a bit too. Yeah. Good stuff out there, y'all. And I'm still a peanut butter bitch. I had it this morning. Oh, I'm craving it actually. I've been eating such weird, I really have such a newfound respect for you, dude. The amount of touring you do. It's like, it really, it takes a, I'm having a blast. Like, I mean, I look back on it as this wild experience, but I mean, you don't do a hundred cities a year or something. It's like just your routines, like you're eating at weird times, you're having to like just try to regulate yourself in whatever way, I don't know. Every tour of mine is every act, I guess, is a total of two years. Yeah. So the first four months are me writing the material and doing clubs. Yeah. And so I'll do like a club weekend with like four shows in the weekend. That's like the first three to four months. And then the next year and a half is theaters. And then I'll do, that's where I'll do a hundred cities, 150 shows. And then at the end of that, I film a special. And when you're doing the shows, are you, how many in a row are you doing? Like, how long are you away at a time? Well, that's why mine goes on over the span of time, because I'm not doing the bus like you, because I'm just such a, I just need to like center myself. So I'll go, I'll go out and do like three cities in a weekend, come home, maybe go out the next weekend, come home, take that weekend off, go back, okay, like two more, two more weekends in a row, or maybe it'll be three weekends in a row, then one off, one weekend off, smart way to do it. Or two weekends off. It depends. So yeah, yeah. The little tougher, my acting stuff is amped up a lot lately. So I was actually going to film this fall. And I might be pushing that now, well, I'm still figuring it out. Okay. So that will just prolong my tour a couple months. So instead of where I would be doing like a bunch of weekends in a row, I might be doing like one weekend a month for a couple months, and then hitting it really hard for like four weekends in a row, three cities and then film. Yeah. Yeah. So the next time I do it, it's going to be a little different for sure. I wonder, maybe the next, well, I'd love to do Europe. I've toured the UK a bunch, and I've done like Berlin and Paris and stuff, but I'd like to do like a big European tour. But maybe I would rent a car and drive myself. I don't know. I don't know. I want to try this weekend thing you're talking about anyway. Is this boring? It just depends on what people are into. If some people just want to like do a bunch in like three months and be done, and then other people just want to, you know, have a life in between, right? It's personal preference, but yeah, I'm about to do Europe, but I'm going to be flying to each city. Yeah. You're going to have so much fun. I hope so. You know, I'm not as, I'm not as known over there, so it definitely humbles you. Yeah, for sure. Have you toured there since handsome came out? No. This is my first. Okay. I did, I did my show in Amsterdam. There were some handsome listeners there, but yeah, this is my first since doing handsome. Okay. Well, I bet I bet you're going to be pleasantly surprised. Yeah. Let's see if we got some European handsome listeners. That would be lovely to meet them. Yeah, man. Well, should we do some questions? That's what we're here for. All right. Got to. Let's see what people want to know. Hi, handsome podcast. My name is Paul, and I'm asking my question all the way from Northern England, and I've been listening to the podcast for a few years now, and I'm a big fan. And I just wanted to ask, what helps you feel the most handsome and secure in yourself as a handsome lady of the 80, I'm 19 years old, and I'm a pretty little lady, but sometimes it can be kind of isolating when you're the only person who looks the way you do when you're in a room. I've been out for a long time as gay, but I've kind of only really start to look the way I feel comfortable more so in the past few years, something I do is wearing things like typefid, black plain t-shirts, or having a nice cologne, things like that, but I just want to know what helps you guys feel good in yourself and secure it in your handsomeness. Thank you. Love you guys. Thank you. That's such a good question, and I relate so hard, and congrats on, I mean, to be 19 and figuring out yourself and how you want to look and be is pretty impressive. It took me until I was like 35, probably. I really relate to the black t-shirt thing, like a good black or white t-shirt that fits really well for me, and the cologne thing, actually. Do you wear cologne, Fortune? I do, actually. I love it. I wear Monk Blanc legend. Oh, yeah. Okay. Next time I'm about duty-free, I want to spray in there and think about it. I'm not alive. I haven't told. I smell good. Hey, I don't doubt that for once. I have a number of people, okay. So I'm not going to tell you how many, because it's hard to keep up with the number. Whoa, innumerable. Yeah. But it's good stuff. Does it make you feel handsome? Is that one of the things? It does. It does. I think, you know, it's always, you feel the most handsome when you're the most comfortable in your own skin, I think, which is the journey that we're all on. Yeah. Yeah. And takes a long time to get there for various reasons for all of us. And you know, I certainly have days where I look in the mirror and I go, "Oh, this is rough." Yeah. So, but I think the older I've gotten, the more I've just, you know, appreciated the things I do have that, you know, or I find positive or appealing. And I think I genuinely like myself. Let's just come with age and time. Paul was saying about feeling like the only person in a room who looks like you. I think that can be super isolating. I think finding community is super important, but also like how cool to, do you think, I bet there's a lot of women who want to dress like more handsome, but they wouldn't let themselves of the creativity. to, you know, where they feel like they got to be more a fan. Like, I think there's something so cool about having the creativity and self-knowledge to be like, I want to, I feel better in, yeah, double denim or whatever. Yeah, I mean, I think when you're younger, you kind of feel like you have to conform to what everybody else is doing. So I certainly went through the phases of, like, try to wear skirts or like sleeveless shirts and I felt so weird. Yeah, in this, and then, you know, I would land back on jeans and a sweatshirt or something. Yeah, imagine in the old and timey days we would be all in, yeah, I know those big old dresses. Yeah. No thanks. We definitely were born in the right time where we could dress casually. I know. I think now I just, in my older age, I just dress kind of Adam Sandler, you know. No, Adam Sandler is in like the Sandman. The Sandman's wearing shorts. No, I don't wear basketball shorts. Yeah, I do, I do love my joggers. Oh man, yeah. Yeah, joggers are good. Yeah, so when I, the times I've opened for Adam, I feel dressed up in my joggers and my, when he's in a room, I'm a roomy. Yeah, yeah. He's the best. I also feel handsome when I'm connected to my body. Like, I feel like, like if I'm stretching or, or if I have to do a little workout, it's just psychological, I think. It doesn't, yeah. You don't look any different at the end of a 20-minute workout, but psychologically, you're just like more in your body, that helps a bit. Yeah. And honestly, I think that kind of started going back to that feeling good in your own skin. I do think that when you are just sort of more comfortable with what you're doing and working with people aren't really, they just kind of, yeah, that's what they're doing. That's, that's their thing. Like, they kind of just accept it. Versus if you seem like uncomfortable or if you seem like you're self-conscious about it, then other people were kind of like, well, what are they, what are they doing over there? Yeah, they seem a little fidgety or a little this. So trying to, trying to just like have peace with like, this is what, this is me, this is what I'm wearing. I mean, I feel good in this. Yeah. And just being okay with that, you know, is helpful. Yeah, agreed, agreed. There's something very magnetic about people who are comfortable in their skin and confident. It kind of has nothing to do with what they look like. I can promise you there are many 19 year olds out there who are unsure of what they're wearing and feeling a little self-conscious because that's just age like being young. Yeah, it just takes a little while and life experience to just get that comfortability. So you are definitely not alone in that feeling. Man, when I, the first time I ever did any acting or anything, I was like, oh my god, of course, everyone is wearing so much makeup and growing up, I wish I'd known or been reminded that like, everyone I loved had bad skin and just was like airbrushed or had tons of makeup on for photoshoots men have it on. Like, yeah, yeah, like don't let yourself try to live up to these crazy standards because it's all fake. No one looks like any of these, well, that's not true. Some people do. And it's crazy. Yeah, gorgeous. Yeah. Other people look like me. We love beautiful ways. Me! What's up, you guys? Well, thank you for that. Like, um, very cool. Um, question. Yeah. Thank you so much, Paul. Hi, handsome. I'm Lindsay. I'm Tanya and this is Suzy. And we are all public school teachers from Minnesota. Oh, we are also best friends and love to listen to your podcast. And we have about you handsomeness. So our question is if you could, if you were a public school teacher, what would you teach? Like what grade level and what subject and why would you teach that? Oh, wow. Well, first off, shout out school teachers, especially out. I love a gagal of school teachers, asking a question. Yeah, seriously. Um, but that, that is such a hard job. I have a tremendous amount of respect for teachers. My mom was a special education teacher for 30 years. And yeah, yeah. It's just all the teacher. My ex was a teacher. Her mom was a teacher. Many teachers in my world. Um, and yeah, it's a tough job. So thank you for what you do. Seriously, overworked, underpaid, um, and just, yeah, shaping our futures in the future of society. My mom was a teacher for, for a little bit too. Yeah, I, I know it would be grade 10 that I would want to teach because that's when I learned that year, I learned the most and I was the most suggestible. And I think I, uh, I had one teacher who, for Canadian studies, he made us watch like, it was completely unconnected to Canadian studies, but we would watch like rebel without a cause or a doctor strange lover. These like classic movies. And it made such an impact on me. So I think maybe I would do something. I do Beatles, maybe. And, and like, stuff around the cultural revolution around the late 60s. I could teach a course on like, yeah, on, on that era of, uh, the grateful dad and all that. I could see you teaching a course at some point for like a college or something. No, I would love to. I'd love to. Yeah, but like, like something creative, artsy, and artsy type of thing, like you're talking about. Yeah, maybe, I mean, maybe mythology for kids and really bring it to life. Those stories are so useful. A, for your spirit and your inner world, but also for creativity that they all have this hero structure and stuff. And if you get the, that story structure and your bones early, I think it helps with all kinds of things. Would you teach music? I feel like you could teach singing beautifully. Well, the tree school music classes are fun because you do like the Zion home and things like that. Yes. Which, you know, I'm like, a little Mary had a, Mary a little lamb. Come on now. Come on now. But I don't know enough about music to be able to have us come together in a way that's not like causing everyone to have a headache. Um, I think we all know what I would teach, you guys. I think it's pretty clear. Wait, let me guess. Yeah, I guess the golden girls. No, no, um, thing more traditional motorbony. I mean, I love that. But think more traditional, uh, religious studies. Look at how I'm dressed, Mae. Uh, PE. You teach me. Yeah. You have a lesbian PE teacher. What do we, what are we talking about here? You're right. There's some school out there that needs a lesbian PE teacher. Yeah. They already have one. I promise you. You got to step up. So I'll just be joining, joining my fellow lesbians. They're incredible PE teachers. They were so many of them very good at their job. Very, very. So I think I would maybe go elementary school. Right. Even though they're a handful. And you got to stay on your toes a little bit more. I would be into that type of PE class because, you know, like when it's a little old kids, remember the parachute thing or the parachute? Yes. You pushed it up and they run under it. Yeah. That's heaven. That's amazing. Uh, dodge classic dodgeable. Yeah. Well, you got kickball, of course. This is incredible. I mean, you had me at parachute. I, I wish you just chef's kiss. Just do that all day. Yeah. Yeah. And then I had a PE teacher teacher teacher square dancing. That's probably a little bit outdated at this point, but I did a lot of type of dance. I was taught that as well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Must've been the times. But now I think you could still incorporate a dance situation. Maybe Zumba or like interpretive, really free form. Let it lose. Put on some Anya. Let kids get runner dance. Yeah. So I think in elementary school, you have a little bit more leeway to be creative. Other times you're just like, you guys go run a muck on the playground and do your thing. And I'll sit over here and eat my ritz crackers. Yeah. That sounds good. And we'll be, we'll all get some sunshine and some vitamin D and get to be outdoors. Yeah. Get to be outdoors. You know, I don't want to be stuck in my classroom all day. Because in middle school, you're also having to teach health. And who wants that? That's true. I don't want to be the health and PE teacher. I just want to go strictly PE. I think I would start with a lot of enthusiasm and optimism and energy. And then about by around January, I'd be willing in the TV and the VCR. I'm putting on some, putting on some vids, some Jane Fonda. I mean, drama would be pretty fun. You know how intense kids get about their school plays. Imagine like a grade nine school play and it's like there's toxic cliques and everyone's like deeply invested. That would be fun. I can see you doing that. The whimsical would be your whimsy would fit there. I also just love when I love when people are taking something so seriously and so to be a bit removed from it, like you're teaching it, but to watch it be so important to them and like they're just out nervous for their performance and that would be really fun. Be like waiting for God's help. But then you have to also like break a lot of hearts when you post the cast list. Oh yeah, God. Everyone's crying. I know. I'd be inventing fake parts so that everyone had a little part. It would be like, you're the ladybug. Yeah. And this ladybug has two lines, but it's crucial. Didn't Lindsey and Tanya and Susie have any follow up? So my answer. This is Lindsay. I am a high school teacher and I teach English and Spanish and mythology and theater arts. This is Tanya. I teach adorable second graders and this is Susie and I teach math and the kids who hate school. We're very excited to hear your answers and quite proud. This only took us six takes by Handsome. They're perfectionists. Math is a tough one for me. That was a hard subject. There was one year where I got 13% in math and that was the year I dropped out. I didn't even make it through the year, but 13%. You got to work, you got to work pretty hard to get 13. That means you weren't even showing up because sometimes half the half the grade is just being there. I know. Yeah, that was a big part of it. Man, that's so funny. When you and TIG both dropped out and look at you now. Yeah. Yeah. Well, another fun pod with you, my friend. Yeah, Ditto. Thanks for sending your questions. Keep sending them. Please submit your questions and your answers as well to speakpipe.com/handsomepod. I have a show in L.A. on June 9/3/10. Go to Maymartin.net or check out my Instagram. It's at Largo. I'm doing a Maymartin of France. June 10th, I believe. Yeah, yeah. But give it a Google. What about you? What do you got going on? I have a few coming up in Rochester, Minnesota, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Omaha, Portland, Maine, and Detroit. Those are all coming up for me. Nice. Love Portland, man. Then I have my TV show with Will Ferrell coming out in mid-July on Netflix. Yes. The hawk. I can't wait. Stoke for that. I'm so stoked to watch that, dude. They're sending me the first two episodes today, so I'm going to get to set my eyes on it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Have you done ADR or anything? Yeah, I've done a little bit. Okay, you've seen little bits, but we'll snip it. Everyone's been telling me how funny it is from Netflix though. Excellent. Pumps. All right. Well, I guess all that remains at this juncture is to say, keep it pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Maymartin, Tignotaro, and Fortune Feemster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected], and please follow us on social media at HandsomePod. That was a HitGum podcast.