Pretty Little Episode #114

this is a head gum podcast checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance not checking that i've got the lighting set just right before i settle in for a cozy evening glaring mistake i've got to do something about that overhead light before it wrecks the entire vibe of my night yeah checking first is handsome so check all state first for an auto quote it could save you hundreds you're in good hands with all state potential savings vary subject to terms conditions and availability all state north american insurance company and affiliates northbrook illinois pretty little episode hey it's your friend tig notaro on um handsome's pretty little episode the handsome pot i'm here with my uh delightful co-host uh what's your name may martin right and you are i am tig notaro did i mention that or is that i think you did actually yeah who cares we don't listen to each other we just uh no no just thinking about what we're gonna say next i'll tell you i'll tell you what i'm gonna say next um you were asking before we started recording and thomas said save it for the podcast you said how is the bills game yeah your trip to buffalo yeah it's so funny um i have to say we are so lucky that max and finn are game for you know they're they of course love to go to new york city or they want to go to hawaii or whatever but they are game for the cornfields in ohio to visit my friends there or mississippi or just a suburban yeah yeah yeah we spent spring break once in chicago and um but yeah we went out it was stephanie's birthday and so i planned this trip to take us to the bills first home game of the season which happened to be their very first time to play in their new stadium and it was um you know i'm not a i'm not a team sports person but i love watching max and finn play and and watching them watch must be fun i'm not a team sports person but i love watching max and finn play and and watching them yes but that bills game i think it turned me into i was kind of a buffalo bills fan because my family was so into it but i think they won me over now with this with the game that i went to it just it is very magical and i don't know if you're familiar with the bills mafia no it's the fan base it takes hours to get into the theater because everyone is um tailgating in did they call it a theater did i say a theater oh stadium it's like you got yeah listen that's how much i'm not a sports team sports person no the buffalo bills stadium yeah stephanie will be amused um it's like you know what tailgating is tailgating is yeah yeah everyone partying and parking lots i'm talking every parking lot you're passing everybody is drinking barbecuing uh dancing everyone's dressed in bills clothing it's such an experience and that's very cool it is and i think that there's just it's undeniably special and so to be in buffalo and stephanie grew up part of her childhood there and so we took max and finn to see yeah her house and where she went to school and um did they have a ton of questions about her child like like whenever my parents would show me something from their childhood i was like entranced just yes yes and they it was like we brought them to hollywood california the way they were like wanting to go back by her house again and wanting to see the baseball field that she played softball on and it just was we went to niagara falls and it was just such a nice trip and it was so personal to our family and that's amazing yeah it was it was really nice and she loves pizza so we went out for just pizza at this local place and then we went to their teacher who is from buffalo recommended sweet jenny's uh which is a candy shop ice cream shop and comic book store um so we just went in there and had a field day and i just have to give that place a shout out because they have a sign on their wall saying if you can't afford an ice cream comb you get a free scoop or if you're uh recovering from cancer it just it was it got me i was like i'm all in sir that's really nice yeah yeah so now it just goes to show like you don't have to i don't know you don't have to go to disney or like broadway shows with kids like you can be like we're gonna do buffalo like we're gonna find all the cool things in buffalo all the oh my god i like that this last spring break we couldn't travel you know because of fluff and so we just did a staycation and we went everywhere so we could be with her to care for her and so nice we went everywhere and and just treated our hometown like it was uh like we were out of towners so um yeah it's fun you don't have to you don't have to go to hawaii but who's gonna say no to hawaii i've never been i really want to go before global warming anyway i um well i'm feeling i'm in a great mood it's because it's bisexual awareness day today but no visibility today nice look at you it's my big day it sure is do you know i just scrolled one side or another i think we can confidently guess which side i'm leaning on with women but yeah i mean look at me i just don't want to make an assumption i know well that's the thing is i really i don't want people to assume that so i i like to really wave the banner of yeah how into men i am which i am but i think historically looking at my life i've been in love with maybe two men and probably more women yeah sexually i think i'm i'm maybe 50 50 compatible but but romantically i think i i'm in awe of women like i i feel like a different gender to them where i'm just like you're from you're from heaven like i and i they're mysterious to me yeah and you feel that way about me you are an enigma um but yeah man i i feel like less they're less mysterious to me which is weird because i just raised a girl but you know what i mean i i'm like i get men i can tell what they're thinking they can't tell what i'm thinking right now he's thinking may's making generalizations that do not apply to all men and you know what he's right spot on spot on yeah it's true i'm actually and how are you gonna celebrate your visibility today i'm gonna paint one half of myself pink one half blue yeah and i'm gonna go out and you know this is what all bisexuals do on of course on this day and then you go out you try to find a boy and a girl and a trans person at the bar yeah and then you date them all that's the rule but you're not allowed i think you're in a very kind of bi role play or something love it i'll get parv to be the pirate the pirate king this time and does is is parvati by yeah i would say yeah okay yeah but it's funny like i mean not all these things change and evolve throughout your life of course and depending on who you're with too like yeah yeah yeah but increasingly with the state of the world and men in america i think and the president and stuff i'm seeing more and more especially of parv's friends often who've been through a marriage or something i i'm curious like you know not that you can choose your sexuality but i think a lot of previously straight women are saying i just can't i can't relate because it's hard for men to relate what to what i'm feeling right now about the injustice and misogyny and yeah i've heard women say that i don't feel like my husband's mad enough yes i think that's a big thing yeah we're yeah and it's you don't want to have to ask the men in your life to stand up for you and you're right so it's it is kind of a boner killer it's a or a you know it's a libido killer i think there's nothing hotter than a socially conscious liberated man like thomas like thomas exactly yes thomas is the dream boat he really is ah thank you well thank you should we i don't know what i'm talking i'm right what i'm about but should we get to a question yes but happy uh bisexual day to you and parvati i hope you celebrate um oh man oh i know what i could tell you actually i went to i took parv to an immersive horror theater experience on friday of course that was deeply unsettling i went with my friend joe and his friend as well but we got there and it's a big mansion in koreatown and they said um you're going in in a group of 10 the actors are allowed to touch you just surrender to the experience it's a they said it's a vampire brothel in the 1920s and you got to go in there and you got to kill the mayor and we were like okay got it and then they said you to me and they said are you brave and i said no absolutely not whatever this is i don't want to be the one but secretly i was like that may be the special one yes and then they said you go on ahead and they took me separately from my the group and they made me crawl through a window into the this dark basement and then i'm there i said well what do i do down here and they said you'll it'll become clear and then i knew there was someone in the basement with me i knew someone and it was dark and hazy and i was here not a flow i knew there was someone down there hello who's there and then this guy bursts out and he's like what are you doing here come with me and then he put me in a cage and then he was gonna stay there and then he was gonna stay there and then he was gonna steal my blood and then and then the rest of the group arrived and then anyway i ended up with a bag over my head with this vampire sex worker talking in my ear about how i was gonna work with them at the brothel i was the new recruit i was in heaven and then i don't know when this was happening but i know for sure whenever it was happening we were have there having very different days yeah you yeah you were like tucked up in in buffalo and you're looking you're nighty oh my god it was really well because once the initial fear wears off then it's a little bit corny and you can enjoy it because it's really the actors are really going for it you know trying to scare you yeah yeah it was great it was really fun parvati just cackles throughout like she finds when she's scared she's just like cry laughing whereas i'm like we need to be respectful of the actors i'm like i'm not gonna be respectful of the actors i'm not gonna be we need to do exactly what we're told and you know in order to maximize our experience and she's kind of rebellious like you know if they're going to if they're saying something to her she'll she'll push back a little yeah yeah and i'm like okay well she doesn't mean that but it was really fun checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance not checking that i don't mix stripes with polka dots before i go out for the day fashion failure considering i never wear stripes or polka dots i have no idea how this even happened yeah checking first is handsome so check all state first for an auto quote it could save you hundreds you're in good hands with all state potential savings vary subject to terms conditions and availability all state north american insurance company and affiliates northbrook illinois oh my god that does not sound fun i will be honest it sounds like hell i think i'm going to be doing a lot of these things around halloween i love it i love that you love that it's fascinating to me i will say i i don't know if i told you but i'm on the new season of uh american horror story if i knew that i'm sorry but that's great that's why no no i i'm only in one episode um i was terrified even being in it in this yes because it felt like it felt like are we all actors here that's cool that they that that that is the atmosphere on set they must i don't want spoilers but were there people in crazy makeup and stuff and i'm not spoiling anything i'm just telling you i was like i loved it but i was also like oh my god yeah oh my god oh my god this is very unsettling yeah i don't i don't like like halloween horror nights at universal where someone's just chasing you with the chainsaw or something but i love an immersive theater thing where there's a narrative and yeah there's actual actors talking to you and i i really love that yeah yeah i i typically steer away from scary stuff um yeah but i i i enjoyed i enjoyed doing it i was just like whoa and of course people have done i'm like crazy or weird and i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god weird or scarier stuff but it's just not my typical go-to so it was i was walking into a whole different world but yeah i enjoyed it and were you act did you have to be acting frightened no okay no spoilers because i find that kind of hard and in filming wayward and doing a jump scare and no but knowing when it's coming yeah and going you're going through the house with your gun and then i'm i know that i'm having to go and yeah and i i i got hit one time on a sitcom i did like a ball hit me in the head and i knew it was coming so i had to act like i didn't know a ball was gonna hit me in the face and that was like the hardest acting i've ever done in my life because and we had to do numerous takes of a ball coming and smacking me in the face and not look scared so yeah not expect it but not be like oh yeah yeah anyway all right all right well should we get a question i think we should may i think so too tag hi handsome katherine in asheville north carolina if thomas finally granted you your wish and you did your sexy handsome calendar y'all been talking about what's one idea you have for one of the months i love that she thinks that thomas is withholding the power to say yes or no yeah he's so controlling and he won't let us do it yet um and we're like please grant our wish please no that's so funny okay some of our ideas that we've talked about are firemen um maybe bonnets was one like sort of like well yeah we should be in diapers probably with rattles and a bonnet and a bonnet uh yeah what else i mean i feel like i just go straight to the obvious sexy um fireman and then get myself the mustache that i think is hot on myself yeah i mean not hot on myself but hot it's you know i like their yeah yeah and then the full kind of fireman body suit type thing yeah but i think i would go topless firefighter oh yeah great with yeah maybe put a spender down you know yeah because i'm just you know casually yeah what else i was just getting undressed who's this walking in yeah yeah glistening um i would do maybe pirates or um or like farm boy farm boys like little cowboy type you got your thing you know piece of straw sticking out your mouth and would you please wear short shorts yeah yeah i will i will shorts 100 little twink shorts yeah yeah well with fortune i all of a sudden just put fortune in a a cat suit oh that would be good with like um whiskers and uh but i don't know i guess that reveals i think cats are sexy yeah and i just put it on fortune like i'm picturing one of the costumes from the musical cats on fortune and she's like yeah crawling around maybe that's what it is i feel like when fortune has a cocktail she crawls around shows her gams she really does she gets a little feline yeah yeah she does she gets a little feline yeah but i'm open to whatever whatever thomas says we have to do we will do it because he's the boss of us i think katherine has some suggestions for us here's my thoughts december has to be tig she's cozy in bed warm sexy blankets around a fireplace to her left side and her bulky sexy c-pap on april has to be fortune she's at one of may's party looking shyly into the camera over her shoulder and in front of her is a beautiful spread of cheeses and charcuterie of course and then may i'll let y'all decide oh excuse me beg your pardon wait you are getting so geared up for yours and i was so ready for it but we have to decide okay well then well you get to freestyle right but i feel like katherine really gets me gets like the snuggly fire situation plus i'm going to be dressed as a fireman and there's a fire in the room and i'm going to be dressed as a fireman and there's a fire in the room and i'm going to be - Yeah, I mean, I gotta say, I thought, we were all gonna be in all the pictures like i thought we'd all be snuggled up by the fire we can do that too if thomas lets us i'll allow it okay great great let's do one more yeah let's do it hello handsome pod this is lisa a fan from canada i have so many questions for you but i'm gonna keep it light and easy today a creative block in terms of knitting and i have this really nice wool it's a bit of a bulky wool it's a really pretty blue color and i just don't know what to make with it i've started and stopped i think five different things at this point so i would like your suggestions as to what i should make with this wool it's not quite enough to do a whole sweater um so something that's not a whole sweater love you guys thank you so much take care thank you lisa thank you what about a baby sweater sure yeah if there's babies in your life that you can't go wrong although i bet babies are like stop giving me this knitted stuff like the little boots the little hats um babies aren't thinking stop giving me these they're not no they're not they're barely thinking anything yeah you're right they're thinking hungry tired boob boob yeah yeah um oh what about a bra like a bikini like a honey love bra like a a sort of um tea cozy style bra a knitted brazier a knitted brass brazier brazier yeah i think that would be a good idea or what about don't people wear like arm um or leg warmers people wear arm warmers yeah i think that's a good idea i think that's a good idea i think that's a good idea yeah 80s style leg warmers would be good too yeah like like a real no it's okay it's a it's blue i mean how long does it take someone to knit something would take me a lifetime years you have to be learning from your own mind so yeah i'm going brazier small brazier not a double d brazier no small yes um i'm gonna go um oh you know what sweatbands oh yeah i'm gonna go sweatbands classic that's good that would you'd look good in a sweatband you'd look like a kind of uh power ranger type like you're spiking out hair from around the band i wore um sweatbands in the the movie i did with race called um your place or mine really yeah my character wore wristbands oh that's great yeah yeah i'm i'm about to play a kind of um jane lynch style character oh nice yeah in uh the show meatballs um based on that movie meatballs about a summer camp i only have a couple days filming but i've never uh meatballs from like the 80s yeah they're making a tv show of it oh and i've never really done that where i just show up for a few days so i'm excited but i'm i'm playing a real baddie welcome to your new favorite thing of showing up a few days and then heading out that you're right i love it so much doing just popping in for a day or a week and then bringing the good vibes and then you're out yeah that sounds nice here to make friends and then i am out the door yeah that's great get a ticket to the premiere get a ticket to the premiere sell that ticket no i'm kidding uh well lisa thanks for your question and um let's see do you have anything coming up always in uh in la i'm at i'm at largo and dynasty typewriters and the elysian sometimes but check out especially largo i'm gonna have a really good show in november with music and i'm going all out so check out social media for those deets on my my instagram um and yeah what about you well i'm always a dynasty typewriter and largo in los angeles doing my circus um i'll also be in olympia washington we added a show uh fresno uh napa i'm also going to be in wilmington delaware terrytown new york new london connecticut and uh yeah just go to tignotaro.com and you will find me somewhere and keep submitting your questions and your advice requests to speakpipe.com handsome pod we love to hear from you and we love you i love you too and until next time keep it keep it pretty handsome handsome is hosted by me fortune feimster tignotaro and may martin the show is produced recorded and edited by thomas email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at handsome pod what a podcast that was a hate gum podcast checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance not checking for big old moths before i open the screen door uh-oh these guys moved in and are beating their terrifying wings against every surface of my house including me yeah checking first is handsome so check all state first for an auto quote it could save you hundreds you're in good hands with all state potential savings vary subject to terms conditions and availability all state north american insurance company and affiliates northbrook illinois