Pretty Little Episode #109

this is a head gum podcast pretty little episode welcome to the handsome pod if you're feeling pretty if you're feeling little this is the place for you it's our pretty little episode i'm may martin and that voice was fortune feimster what's going on hey bud hey bud i just ran and put on my tinted sunscreen so that i looked a little more presentable a little glow yeah i love it you look amazing oh man the morning you know i'm not good in the morning i know it's not your favorite time but it is 10 20 a.m yeah i know it's not like 8 a.m yeah yeah i just flew into north carolina oh you did okay late last night so i'm with jinge oh you're with jinge of course you are yeah yeah say hi say hi mom yeah that's you you're my mom say hi hi hi jinge can you hear that oh no anyway moving on she doesn't always say things on cue you can't predict the timing but yeah i'm we're about to go on a little road trip she and i oh where are you going i have shows this weekend um in greenville and wilmington so she is going to be road tripping with me oh nice are you driving i will be driving she has a laundry list of places she wants to go to to buy food to put in her freezer oh great and is she a good um passenger like does she get nervous about your driving or is she no she does not get nervous about my driving she's usually feels pretty comfortable she's not our family we're not um carsick people yeah anxious passengers yeah that's good mine's the opposite she usually just chats or looks at things on her phone that's nice um if you're in a car with my family it's it's my mom every time there's a bump or any kind of movement she goes like that and like really rips the car and then you got my brother in the back seat going i feel sick my dad going i can't see the road it's really it's explosive and you're not probably the most confident of drivers yet no and and if i feel like i'm being scrutinized then i'm i'm worse it's worse yeah because there are moments when i'm by myself i think i'm acing this i feel like you're just gonna keep getting better though it's like anything thanks i think i'm a natural but yeah yeah i happen to be from the south where you learned to drive at 12 years old in the cemetery yeah yeah i think i went in the cemetery with my mom and when i was about 11 or 12 and but i hit a i just nicked a gravestone so you're just always snicking something nicking something yeah so did ginger teach you to drive no my grandmother did but also my grandmother didn't do it willingly i we would go down to the cemetery she would be tending because old old southern ladies would tend to plots you know like plant flowers and it was sacred to them so while she was doing that i'd help a little bit and then i would get in her car and just start driving just book it i just and so she didn't cause a fuss or anything but it wasn't like she was in the car with me going hey let's do this right and can you imagine in this day and age a 12 year old just hitting the drive yeah no that's crazy but it was a different time and none of my none of my family condoned it i was doing it um on my own yeah you were just on instinct i just loved being behind a wheel yeah yeah and what's the longest road trip you've been on um i've driven across the the united states um really yeah when i moved from north carolina to los angeles back in the day 2003 my mom and i actually drove across country together this is bringing back mems that was a yeah that was an arguing time um yes she had a a sign in the car because american idol was humongous and it said honk if you love clay aiken and that was wildly embarrassing oh my god how have you not mentioned that well because i was living in spain for the prior year so i didn't know anything about american idol or clay yeah because in spain their big show was called operation triumphal and that was a show i was watching and was that i come back she's like um yeah it's just but but on their show they put all the singers through training like everywhere from press training to gym to singing lessons and you see all the behind the scenes that's fun and they all live together yeah romances started it was riveting yeah i come back she's like it's clay versus ruben and i'm like who are you talking about god clay so we had this sign she was obsessed with clay aiken and i had people honking at me all across the country and i was like this is too much i i always wonder about those honk if you love whatever sign my mom is sorry my mom is asking me for fashion advice i am recording a podcast right now she doesn't care she it's cute mom you're welcome sorry oh and you can keep that in yeah keep it in keep it in but everything's uh hunky dory with you everything's good i last night i did a sexy photo shoot at my house yeah with uh parv we we met this painter this amazing like queer painter and she paints couples in various situations uh-huh and like yeah like not too crazy explicit but like intimate and and i love her work um yeah yeah so clothes were on uh actually yeah my shirt was off and parv was in some lingerie it was crazy i don't know which photo she's gonna choose she basically she takes the photos and then paints from the photos wow this would be a high demand item yeah hallie torres is her name all right and she is new to la and yeah paints these incredible things i'm gonna i'll send you some of her stuff but um so that i can be painted nude i would love if all three of us can be painted nude together that would be a hot ticket item too i would hide i would try to hide behind y'all um you'd be demure you'd be like demure holding yeah holding myself it was like before she arrived i was super nervous and i was like i don't know why we're doing this and then and then i had a couple drinks and i was like okay time me up taking everything off yeah it got pretty it was pretty fun a little steamy yeah i think we're exhibitionists a little bit you two are good looking people and you like to you know be free with your bodies and i i think that's great thanks bud i feel like we're gonna be old one day and i'll i'll be glad listen now's the time to enjoy it enjoy it yeah if i if i had one of y'all's bodies i would definitely be naked a lot i think you gotta be naked i don't want to be naked now but um i admire those who are of all body types i admire anyone who's free with yeah and lets it all out good for them i think we should do our sexy calendar still i really like that idea you gotta figure that out should we get to a question from one of our handsome listeners see what people want to know uh-huh hello handsome squad this is claire from minneapolis minnesota currently attending graduate school in middle of nowhere iowa and i want to know from y'all my favorite dinner party question which is a little probing this question is if you were one of the seven deadly sins which would you be so they are pride greed lust envy wrath gluttony and sloth oh man i know mine right away you do oh yeah gluttony you're a hedonist you like pleasure you're like i like good things in life yeah mainly it's in food um my my gluttonous acts are usually based around treats yeah sweets nothing wrong with that but yeah when i like something uh god we're taking other things too gluttony is such a what a crazy word um but yeah i okay oh thomas sent the list of words okay so yeah and are you you're a hedonist you like you like yeah you like pleasure um - Wait, that's what a hedonist is? is yeah someone that like indulges in the yeah things the yeah oh man i i this is hard because there's if there's you'd be lust what i am is ruminate rumination but that's not on there but i was about to say i was like i don't think i heard that word yeah i know it's not it's not an option but that's it's like i i'll see like i'll sit and i can't let go of things i fixate like i'll i fixate a little too sometimes do you yeah like i'm still annoyed about something someone said when i was like 24 you know like i i won't do i won't fixate long term but i'm yeah i am very i get very fixated on when some someone is doing something that is not right me when there's injustice and i feel like there's a person you being bad i don't know if that's the word unfair like unfair yeah and i will ruminate on that and it will i'll fixate it until finally like i'll i'll have a pit in my stomach for like a day and then i'll usually move on yeah that's like i don't know which of these words is closest to that because that's i think that's my thing too is like there are people from my teens and stuff who kind of got away with stuff and i'm still and i'm still like i'm still like i'm still like i'm annoyed about it i would never do anything about it but i'm still like those fucking people and it's not it's only bothering me like they don't they they're just living their lives but injustice i play the long game if there's someone that is unfair yeah and not doing something right i will find a way at some point to make sure that that justice prevails i mean in a way or is that why is that our whole what drives us like to be successful is like i don't know so maybe that's wrath and p and i think that's the cancer in me i'm very sweet i'm like pretty amenable for a long long time and then you push me to a certain place and those and i won't necessarily strike back right now but at some point 20 years from now you will see this come true to roost i promise you i promise you that look look at me you will rue the day i think we're finding out actually wrath is our shared trait but it's it's a quiet wrath yeah maybe bubbles quiet wrath i'm gonna go look at my eyes but do you and you do you feel that like if someone wrongs someone close to you as well um yeah i i mean you're like no just me it would have to be like a really good good friend i'm not gonna do anything you know crazy crazy or anything you'll just try i will just do something where justice prevails i love that that's it should we hear claire's answer mm-hmm i reckon i'd be greed i really like love items and i really appreciate a beautiful item so if i see a beautiful dish or plant or piece of furniture i am like i have to have this immediately and nothing stands between me and my beautiful items when i moved i had to rent a 20-foot u-haul for my one-bedroom apartment which is technically the size for a three-bedroom apartment so yeah i'd be greed thank you so much for your pod and i'm interested to hear what you say you know i do relate to that too actually because i once i get into something like like cameras i'm into film cameras and i keep buying them and i don't need them yeah i don't have the the green thing as much because i don't really care about um things no you're good with your money i like to make money because i want security that's that's what it is yeah yeah it's uh it's uh because i've watched my family no offense mom uh make some bad choices and go from having you know a comfortable life to like nothing yeah so that has motivated me to save and be and work really hard and be responsible yeah should we hear another question uh-huh i handsome pod i love you all i've been listening since the beginning thanks for all the laughs my name is shannon my question is inspired by my toddler who is recently going through a developmental phase where she's suddenly very cautious or in some cases afraid of things that she wasn't afraid of before and it's been really interesting to watch her reason through those and really rewarding in some cases to even see her overcome some of those fears and it's got me thinking what is something that you are afraid of that you've overcome great question great question driving for me is a big one yeah a fear that you will overcome i've overcome this driving yeah yeah as a fear a fear that we will overcome or have overcome that yeah okay like skiing i was terrified i don't think i've overcome that though i'm still pretty terrified yeah i can't ski it's awful i don't want to partake in that at this point everyone's out of their goddamn minds if they're skiing you're flying you have to learn when you're a kid or it's tough to like learn that as an adult your little legs are gonna snap you're you're you're unprotected yeah no not for me yeah it's not for me either there's yeah what did you have stage fright when you started standing i did actually saying when i was in college i had uh i did a couple of plays and i had terrible stage fright i was like a deer in headlights um and it was very baffling to me and to others because um i was very social and chatty and seemed fearless in life and then i would step on that stage and it was just like um would you shake i'm a shaker i don't know i don't think i shook i i had some crazy fear of like forgetting the lines yeah the point where like i would have nightmares about being in a on stage and not knowing what to say i don't know what that was about yeah and then um when i moved to la and i started improv and i learned how to like dig myself out of a hole the stage fright completely went away yeah that's a good point yeah i don't know what to say i don't know what to say that's good advice for anyone with stage fright is improv classes even if you don't want to be an improviser they're pretty it's pretty great for confidence yeah because you just learn to trust that your brain will bail you out that you will think of some something to say even if you don't the line doesn't come to you you'll make up one i just kind of got this little toolbox um my god i just from there it got so much better i just had like a physical memory oh really when i was what 14 and they were they wrote an article in the newspaper about how me and my two friends kept seeing the second city main stage show yeah like it was like wow these freakish kids have seen it like 200 times or something and then so the part of the article was they brought us because they were like they want to be comedians and how adorable and then they let us do an improv set on the second city main stage with them and i was like oh my god i don't know what to say with our heroes and i i i didn't i couldn't say a word i couldn't it was like oh it's christmas morning they go what's this uh oh we open uh open the present what is it and i was like i don't know i don't i was like i don't i don't know and they're like okay it's a puppy and i was like okay like i couldn't i was shaking like this oh god sometimes you get in that space and it's english i had that happen actually as this one time as a stand-up oh and it terrified me you just went blank uh-huh i was taping my very first late night stand-up set for code and it was it was on conan and they go and i knew my set frontwards and backwards but they said do you want cue cards and i said because i don't get nervous performing stand-up ever i only get a little nervous when it's being filmed me too i hate when it's being filmed yeah and um and i said you know what just in i've never filmed a late night set so just in case i my nerves happen yeah let's get it let's get my bullet points on the cue cards so i start my set and i get my first joke out and it goes good yeah but then something tells me like let's just glance at the cue card i'm just gonna glance real quick and the cue card guy is sitting on the ground and and the cue cards are on his lap no and so i freeze because again we're going back to justice yeah my brain goes that guy's not doing his job like he's supposed to be doing the thing we talked to he's not doing it he's supposed to have your back and he doesn't he's supposed to have my back so i all that's all i'm my i'm ruminating all of a sudden about that so but in life i'm going um um oh my god like it is probably about 10 seconds but it felt like three minutes oh i'm looking at conan i'm looking at andy i'm looking at the cue card guy and and my brain's going why isn't he doing anything yeah and so then i sort of stumbled back into my set somehow i i am able to pull it out and i and and they and i get off stage and the booker comes running over and they're like oh my god we're so sorry we forgot to write cue cards for you the cute so the cute guy didn't even know my god i was supposed to have cue cards and they were so apologetic and they edited it it wasn't it was live to an audience so that was embarrassing but they edited it so that that was cut that's so shitty your first tape i've never felt such fear as an adult performer yeah that those are the things that i've never felt such fear as an adult performer yeah that those those are the things that i've never felt such fear as an adult performer yeah that those moments your your nervous system doesn't know the difference between that and like you're about to be executed by firing squad it's like you are staring down the barrel of like that is pure horror your stomach just drops oh oh man should we hear shannon's answer yeah let's do it for me i used to be really afraid of roller coasters as a kid i always wanted to go on them but i would try and i would come off the other side crying because i would be so freaked out and then one summer i went to disneyland with some friends i was around 12 and peer pressure got the better of me and i realized if i just relaxed and let go that was actually quite fun and now i love roller coasters i love thrill rides so i'm super happy that i faced that fear okay can't wait to hear answers love you thanks shannon i i i don't necessarily love roller coasters myself and used to be pretty fearful of them but as an adult i have sort of forced myself to do them yeah because especially like with big groups of friends so i just sort of give into the roller coaster yeah where i'm not necessarily loving it flopping around and i yeah i'm not we had i filmed something where we had to be on a roller coaster and we did it twice and the whole time i'm just like holding the person's hand next to me it's like oh god oh god do you feel like nauseous after and i've not after but my stomach drops during yeah it's the um i don't mind the drops yeah um it's the drops same kill me the drops kill my stomach again i'll say it again people are out of their goddamn minds we're not meant to be doing this with their bodies i don't mind a roller coaster though um well thank you so much uh for another lovely little uh chat portion well thank you my friend it was lovely indeed and thanks to everyone who sent in your questions keep sending them uh you can submit your question and advice requests to speakpipe.com slash handsome pod um and we love to hear from you uh what do you got coming up i'm doing a bunch of shows i just added some in uh jacksonville and fort uh lauderdale florida morganton north carolina san luis obispo and then i have a bunch of shows in like dayton and madison and durham um a bunch of stuff so yeah uh fortunefiendster.com for tickets i am actually tomorrow night september 19th i'm at ucb with um in la with my friends matt and alana doing improv but you can live stream it from anywhere in the world and that's i would love that if people did that yeah once i think you get to keep the link for like a week so you can watch it at a later time but go to the ucb website or my social media and then yeah watch us do an hour of weird improv that would be great let me know where you're watching from yeah and until next time keep it pretty handsome handsome is hosted by me may martin tignotaro and fortune fiendster the show is produced recorded and edited by thomas willett email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsome pod that was a hate gum podcast