Pretty Little Episode #108

this is a head gum podcast checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance not checking to see if i can get a custom pinata before i go to my friend's birthday party missed opportunity they're swinging away at a donkey but it would have been so much better to get their favorite cartoon character from a certain summer blockbuster i may have started yeah checking first is handsome so check all state first for an auto quote it could save you hundreds you're in good hands with all state potential savings vary subject to terms conditions and availability all state north american insurance company and affiliates northbrook illinois pretty little episode hey it's your friend tig notaro i'm sitting here with my co-host may martin and we are coming at you with a pretty little episode also i found this t-shirt tonight and it was my very first promo or like tour t-shirt good one it's a robot me that's a good that's good that's fine but yeah i went on a podcast years ago and after everybody would say things i'd go good one good one and then i became known as the good one robot and that's good you look like joan of arc you know thank you you're welcome how are you i'm doing well i'm doing well i am in los angeles and uh it's just it's good to be back you know how i love to have a normal life doing normal things this is the main crux of i think our particular dynamic and chemistry is me echoing you saying that you want just to have a routine and to have a calm life of the little joys and me being like yes and crying now are you are you what is what is your life looking like are you enjoying a normal life are you um enjoying little things and yeah i am but yeah because yeah you're right like what is when when will i be like well i've achieved that like is it if i have nothing on my calendar for an entire year then i'll finally feel like uh because i am i'm i'm living i'm happy but i'm flying around and yeah it's been a busy summer but a very nice summer and then i went to lake arrowhead on the weekend actually and i i had that same i didn't bring a synthesizer i didn't bring any did you go alone no i went with parv we went for the weekend and it was really good and we sat on the dock and the sun was going down and the bats were swooping and love it i think that's what we're just i think i gotta be there more in the woods yeah yeah it's real good to be in the woods i sleep well there like there's it must be that there's less i'm just gonna i'm just gonna freestyle here less electrical currents and radiation in the air but that's just a guess okay i don't know what that means but well there probably is compared to in the woods i don't know what that means but i don't know what there probably is compared to in the woods i don't know what that means but i don't know what that means well there probably is compared to in the woods i don't know what that means but i don't know what that means yeah like i feel that to be true do you feel that when you're in colorado like yeah like your body just feels on a different frequency yeah i mean i'm living a completely different life yeah like a completely different life and i i'm we're so active and it's wild because i always say to stephanie isn't it crazy that we're gonna exit the 101 onto melrose like in a few days yeah we just are like oh my lord but um that's so good that you have that yeah it's just it's a nice it's a nice thing that i've allowed myself to do to take summers off and and just really um really do it and we really do it we really really do it and we are sports and nature and everything yeah it's wild like max and finn i'll have to send you a video it's so cute they get in the kitchen together and they cook us dinner and each of them and you know it's it's not a a five-star restaurant by any stretch but they get so creative and excited and they explain to you what the spices they're putting on and what they're making and how these different tastes are going to come together and and they're just making it up as they're going along and they're mimicking and they're making it up and they're adults in the kitchen and stuff but and and they just grab whatever is available in the cabinet and the wherever and they just start cooking up a storm and we're like this is delicious like the other night they made us our dessert was um bananas sliced up with cinnamon on top simple and delicious yeah yeah they just making up stuff and and just serving it up it's just so it's just so fun but they knew that would be a good taste combo that's they did and it's really good yeah so yeah and then you must it must feel weird then you go into these high intensity periods where you're on or you're touring or you're filming and it's like because i kind of because when i'm with parv and ama it's like yeah i go full dad mode and time moves more slowly and and we're like do it you know and then uh yeah and it's very schizophrenic like i have this other life in silver lake where i'm like trying to get all my work done so that i can enjoy yeah yeah it's weird i want to blend the two a little bit more it's i i'm just i think i'm at that point in life where i'm like is it possible is is it where like i is what possible blending blending or finding complete joy and peace because i think peace also comes from working and making yourself useful like i was sitting in the park and watching a um a squirrel just squirreling it up okay digging holes bringing acorns up the tree down the tree running over here running over there and i was like that guy has some serious purpose yeah you know and his joy is in his purpose and his purpose is his work and his life that he's living yeah and i'm like i'm not gonna do that i'm not gonna do that i'm not gonna do that i'm not he's not looking for a day off you know what i mean right he's not looking to sit down and have a machine go do all the acorn business right yeah no i think you'd really miss it if you weren't also doing the work part squirreling around you gotta squirrel around but what's crazy i wonder if you asked that squirrel and you were like are you stressed i wonder if you'd be like yeah i just be like can i talk to you in a minute i got things to do i gotta i'm squirreling around yeah um but it was it was such a funny little moment because of course i've seen a million squirrels and i i love a squirrel and i i loved seeing it um do its thing but i was really thinking about how people remove themselves from the work they actually need to do which i think is you know gathering your own food and making it and all right you know what i mean being actually in your life and the world rather than removed from the world from it anyway this is and having machines and other people do things and making your life easier isn't necessarily what's and taking a bunch of time off isn't necessarily what's going to bring you joy but maybe i don't know but i do think we need to squirrel around we gotta squirrel around yeah but i do i i do love what my job i love what i do i feel a sense of purpose with that but yeah with squirrels at least they're they're born and there's only one real thing for them to do it's not like like we have so many potential purposes their one thing is to squirrel around and squirrel around and they're not like should i start a podcast like they're like i gotta get these nuts and and they don't even no one teaches them how as far as we know there's no squirreling school i feel like i'm the closest to squirreling around when i'm in colorado for the summer right you know like uh there's not food delivery yeah you know what i mean there's not ubers there's not that kind of thing going on yeah yeah that's i like that a lot but of course i'm not like fully living off the land but there's just a mix of squirreling around and and other things what am i talking about but when you're doing that do you ever feel like are do you start writing like like is there always that writer's brain in the back of your head that's like really so you well actually here's the thing yeah very i am when i am off work i am i'm off work right i am not like oh my gosh i gotta pitch this i gotta write that i gotta do this i gotta get i can't wait i am like later tater yeah and um however i just told stephanie the other day i am not a script writing person i'll have ideas for tv shows or movies or i'll have ideas for characters and stuff stephanie is the one that like she pounds things out on her laptop she is a fast incredible writer but i have had this weird interest in writing, when I say the worst script, just like, I just want to see it. Like, I'm just going to do my best. I'm just going to give it a whirl maybe and just see what terrible thing I click out. Please, can it be about squirrels? It's called squirreling around. Yeah. Yeah. Squirreling around. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking my email before bed when I'm trying to get tickets for a highly in-demand haunted hayride? Rats. It's sold out in an hour. And now the best I can do is get on the haunted wait list. Yeah. Checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate, North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. You have to, you should definitely. I mean, with One Mississippi, you were in the writer's room. Absolutely. And that's the extent of it. But like Stephanie and I wrote a script, but she knows structure. She knows all of that. But like, I don't know. There's a script in you then if you start having the inkling. It has started popping up for me. That's exciting. And I'm kind of interested in my. And it might just be for me, but like me becoming a comedian, just my life in Colorado, moving to LA. There's some just interesting moments that actually got me to where I am, which is like anybody's life. And sometimes I just think, oh, maybe I want to write that down. Yeah. Would you ever write it as prose? Well, you've written a book. I wrote, like in the pandemic, the most self-indulgent, like just for myself, like memoir basically just of my, everything that happened in my teens. Oh yeah, Stephanie told me. Did she read it? She read it, right? Oh God, did she? That's embarrassing. I think you gave it to her. I think I went through a phase of really wanting to maybe adapt it or something. Yeah. She said it was great. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Yeah. I found it really satisfying to, it's something about like just making sense, like putting the chronological, this is what happened. And then, yeah. That's, that's interesting because I actually just talked to my therapist about that. How every time I talk to her, I'm always talking about what is kind of current in life. This is going on with work or this is frustrating yesterday or this day or, you know what I mean? And then I, and then I'll, she, she moved to Michigan. So we're mainly on Zoom. Sometimes she comes back to LA, but, um, I'm always thinking like, God, there's so much she doesn't know about my life because I'm so stuck in my, I need it typically to sort out my day to day, my work stresses, things like that. And, um, yeah. So that's what I usually talk to her about, but we're going to do longer sessions this coming week. Dig in. Yeah. So we're going to go through like, who am I? Where did I come from on a much deeper level than we've ever gotten into? I'm kind of the reverse where I'm like, I find it really daunting with therapy. Like I end up talking about these same things from the past and then I end up canceling therapy because I'm like, so I need to, I'm on Tuesday, I'm seeing this therapist and I'm going to, I'm, I think I'm going to ease in by saying, I want to start with just my day to day, like what's going on now. And then, and then like, So you don't talk about your day to day now? No, I've, anytime I've been to therapy, it's been like specifically to work through trauma, like from the past where, and then it's too much. It's too, I feel like shit after. I never get to the point where I feel like, so I think I'm going to ease in with day to day. See, I worked on a lot of trauma years ago. I got into there. I mean, you probably did too, but I got into therapy. I got into therapy when I was like 17 or something. Did you get in early? No. I mean, I, in rehab, we did some of that, but, and it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. So. Okay. So you've dealt with stuff. I've dealt, definitely dealt with trauma and stuff. There's plenty more to get to. Yeah. Yeah. But I just realized that, that now as an adult, married, children, career, all of that kind of stuff, I'm just, I'm just more in the day to day of like, oh, this happened. I'm so frustrated. I don't know how to handle this. I, what's the best way? What's most productive? Am I lying to myself? You know, all of that kind of stuff. Yeah. That'll be juicy for her to get to know, like the underlying or the soup underneath. I've known her for so long and now I'm going to be like, oh, by the way, this is swimming around in there. Yeah. But I think it'll give her a better chance. A better picture of dealing with me on my day to day, obviously. Yeah. Anyway. Great. Let's get to a question. Let's do it. What if it's my therapist? Yeah. Saying, who are you? Hi, all. My name is Dani and I'm from Sherman Oaks, California. My question is, what's something you pretended to be interested in because the person you were dating loved it, even though you weren't actually interested? That's such a funny thing. That's a really good question. Yeah. Do you do that? Do you act interested in? I mean, in my teens, dating older people, I definitely was like, yeah, tell me about the Smiths, you know? But I thought I was really into it as well, but I really wasn't. But then now, I don't know. Did something come to mind for you? No. No. I don't feel like I ever pretended to be into something. I don't really connect with that, but I definitely, I mean, not that this is unusual, but just have tried to, I mean, Stephanie, you know, she's very into sports. She watches football and baseball and basketball. You've given it a go, but. I mean, I do. I give it a go. It's not a passion of mine, but I love going to, when we go to live games, you know, I like to get snacks and hang out and just be a part of the crowd, but. Soak up the vibes. And there's something comforting to have sports on in the background when you hear the announcer and the play-by-play. Yeah. Mm. It's a little different than that, but. No. Yeah. I don't know that I have pretended. I dated someone who I had to pretend to like their, their plays and their music and stuff sometimes. And that, because I really cared about them, but it just wasn't to my taste. Yeah. I guess, I guess there's, there have been people I have dated where. Like their art, I mean, their music they wrote and their plays they wrote. That's what I mean. It was like their art was maybe not the most stellar thing. Yeah. For my taste. Yeah. But I certainly was excited for them and was behind their dream and, and all for it. I think I, if I was dating someone who didn't like my, Yeah. Yeah. my comedy or my stuff I was making, I don't think I'd want them to tell me that. I think I'd want them to fake it. Uh-huh. I don't, I don't, that would be a real. That would be a wild thing. It would, it would. Isn't there, I think there's a movie with Julia Louis-Dreyfus, I haven't seen it, but where she overhears her husband saying he doesn't like her book. Oh, is it good? I've never said that in my life, I don't think. That's crazy. Yeah. And it's a niche one that I haven't seen. Yeah. Did Nicole Holofcener direct that? Yes. Yes, I think so. That rings a bell. And it's like, she finds out that, she overhears her husband on the phone saying, I hate, I hate her book. It's not good. And yeah, how would that affect your relationship? Yeah, it's Nicole Holofcener, You Hurt My Feelings. Yes. You Hurt My Feelings. Yeah. Nicole is a friend of mine. And so. Oh, she's great. Yes. Yes. That's, I was like, that is so interesting that I saw this film. But yes, I just remembered. Yeah. That's Nicole's movie. I really enjoyed it. Were you so relieved when you saw Stephanie do improv and acting? You were like, thank God, she's funny. Everything. Yeah. I'm just like, she, everything. Yeah. Her acting, her writing, her performance, her, I asked for her advice, everything. I just am like, I'm blown away. Yeah, you gotta be a fan of the person you're dating and the things. Yeah. Yeah. Should we hear Dani's answer? Yeah, let's do it. My partner is an avid Rick and Morty fan. And he first shared the show with me when we met seven years ago. I made a genuine effort to enjoy the show and even did a good job of pretending I liked it but after six years I finally had to come clean and tell him that I just couldn't bear to watch another episode anyway thank you for taking the time to answer my silly question live long and prosper my handsome friends that's funny thanks daily yeah I'm seeing the image really clearly of her sitting next to him on the couch and the yeah he's laughing away and she's gonna and she's not yeah oh man yeah actually when i was in lake arrowhead the airbnb had a pac-man machine in the basement and so i lit up when i saw it and um because you like pat man yeah any game any bright lights bing bing bing any little yeah like like because it's retro or because you like video games i don't it's like if i saw a foosball table or a dart board or a or like it's just like it's like a game that you can get your hands on yeah something to do yeah an activity that i can get competitive and get yeah i don't know i yeah and um so yeah parvin i played and i it was i was worried that she was indulging me but then she she got so swept up and it was really fun it was bonding we were because we were screaming at the table going these little fucking bastards the ghosts it was really it was fun yeah i i don't i feel like i haven't ever had any fiber in my being to pretend yeah um yeah it doesn't feel familiar but i i aside from like supporting and encouraging somebody that i'm maybe not sharing that i am you don't love what they're what they're doing yeah that's maybe only happened once yeah you know i i think i've talked about this on the podcast but when i and i've talked about it with her and so she knows but when i i was dating someone in england and uh she's the best and i went to see her show where she played monica lewinsky it was a cast of four women and so they were all there was a woman playing bill clinton as well and they were all playing each other and they were all playing each other and oh man and i i brought a casting director to see her and there were maybe eight people in the audience it was like half i mean empty and um they were all british actors doing american accents as well and then well or not well not so well she was great as monica lewinsky and looks like her wow and then um the the woman said you her line was you would say that betty there's a character called betty and she goes you would say that baby i i mean betty and she said and and i just lost my mind and you could hear me silent laughing in the audience and the casting director i was crying and and the fact that she over corrected so much when i i mean i mean betty anyway god it was good and they had a there was a lone saxophone player underscoring the entire play like that it was wild wow and and i'm sorry to go back you didn't quite believe in this no that that was an experience of being like really wanting to support my girlfriend yes yes being like this is an insane production this feels like it was made by insane people yeah that's funny we uh we really got into that one question didn't we we really got in deep there yeah yeah lovely to see you as always i like when you're in la feel calmer you feel yeah submit your questions your advice requests go to speakpipe.com handsome pod and send them in i love hearing them i do too may yeah we both do yeah so does fortune i could speak for fortune can't you yeah all the time i do all the time thomas likes it too there's not anyone on this podcast that doesn't want to hear your question we love it oh go to tignotaro.com for my latest show dates and i'll see you out there and uh do you have anything may absolutely nothing just check the old socials and i'm always doing shows around la and um come see me great till next time keep it pretty handsome handsome is hosted by me fortune feimster tignotaro and may martin the show is produced recorded and edited by thomas roulette email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at handsome pod that was a hate gum podcast checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance not checking how to pronounce striped sea bass before i make my order i just confidently ordered stripped sea bass and now i'm afraid my fish is going to be fully nude yeah checking first is handsome so check all state first for an auto quote that could save you hundreds you're in good hands with all state potential savings vary subject to terms conditions and availability all state north american insurance company and affiliates northbrook illinois