Pretty Little Episode #106

this is a head gum podcast checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance not checking the recipe before i try to replicate a certain famous coconut cake at home yuck i think i use salt instead of sugar or sand instead of salt whatever happened this dessert is inedible yeah checking first is handsome so check all state first for an auto quote it could save you hundreds you're in good hands with all state potential savings vary subject to terms conditions and availability all state north american insurance company and affiliates northbrook illinois pretty little episode welcome to the handsome pods pretty little episode i'm fortune beamster i'm may martin i'm man martin everybody hi guys thanks for tuning in again it's just old me may martin i wonder if i ever sounded like that as a kid um i don't know yeah no i think it was more like yeah okay i wish i had more videos of me as a kid i feel like i probably said some funny stuff but you would have been hilarious i'm sure i had my moments but those that was kind of like my early childhood days were sort of pre everyone having a video camera i know these kids the kids today they're gonna have hundreds of hours it is nice though i yeah i only have one video from my my second birthday and one from my grade four production of charlie brown but other than that nothing yeah do you have a lot of pictures though um i i don't feel like i even have enough pictures either i feel like a lot of them were printed out and uh many of them got lost in the shuffle of moving homes several times and yeah i don't know i don't know i have i have enough that you know we get the gist of you get the gist of your childhood i was really adorable when i was super young and then went through a super awkward looking phase in junior high and then sort of evened out in high school that's sort of the tale as old as time i was just uh when i was in italy on my vacation i was traveling with three kids two eight-year-olds and one ten-year-old and i casually was like oh guys we should make like a zombie movie while we're here and then i i forgot about it and like six hours later they came to me and were like had planned everything out they were like it's going to be called the uninvited three and uh anyway i so i really went for it like we did a shot list we did like cameras up sound speed i was like we really yeah and i now have this horror movie so that they have a record of them it was so they were so creative it was great and also none of them have ever watched a horror movie or know what a zombie is right so there's a musical number oh wow a musical number yeah i like it when kids get very creative like that my friend's daughter and her friend wrote a play that they asked us to sit down for um the plot needed some work yeah but the heart and compassion and dedication was there and that's what matters that's like my my dream thing to happen as a kid getting people together and they and really earnestly presenting something they've created and you have to keep a straight face and it's the best i love that so you went to italy i went to italy and that was fun it was amazing but i definitely i was like guys i got the accommodation i'm gonna find this luxury villa i was really trying to like impress and show that uh-huh and so i guess i just googled luxury villa and it's never luxury it's never luxury when it refers to itself as luxury it and also because it was it was a website that was like luxuryfilla.com or something and so on airbnb at least you can see all the reviews you can see the star rating and i was going in blind thinking for this much money it's got to be amazing yeah and it was yeah i got fleeced for sure not good was it clean uh no i would say no there were no blankets on the beds when we arrived we've been traveling for like 24 hours yeah it was they hadn't aired it out it was all like dark and one of the kids the first thing she said was it doesn't look like the pictures oh no but we made it work i mean it was a great it was a great place it just wasn't i did get ripped out of it it was a great place it was a great place it was a great place off of it right you spent way too much money for what it was yeah yeah yeah no one's rented that luxury villa in a while no i mean the like the water went out for four days like four days and and then we'd get it there was like a reserve water switch and it would come back on for an hour and then it was oh my gosh i'm getting some money back for sure yeah it'd be one thing if it was like a day but four days is wild on and off for four days and the pool turned green from algae for three or four days so oh dude i know and they said well that's definitely from people wearing sunscreen on their skin in the pool but okay they should have warned us right i mean i feel like it's dark it turned green yeah did they get it fixed yeah but then it had to be sterilized for 48 hours we couldn't go in it and no one could use it for two days and there's three little kids that just want to jump in that pool but this is so uh yeah that sounds like something that would happen to me yeah yeah i felt it was so embarrassing because i was really like hey i'm getting the accommodation you know because i really want to splash out i never go on a vacation and switch off like that i get very nervous when i'm put in charge of the i don't mind paying at all but i hate being the sole responsible person for the accommodation because something always goes wrong somewhere always and and then if you're the one that picked the place everyone's looking at you like you did this i'm on a whatsapp thread with the italian house manager just like trying to get it sorted yeah yeah no i want i want if there's a group situation or you're traveling with someone else i want them weighing in so that we've both decided this is the place yeah and then i'll pay i think i do not like being the one that's like i'm gonna pick the place i know i really pulled the trigger too fast and i should have at least consulted a few people but ultimately it was good but i mean listen lesson learned you're making the most of it i don't think it was that great from what you're telling me i just think you're being very positive it was a good part of the the lore of the trip though like we could laugh about it well definitely makes for some stories right especially on this traveling with two survivor winners i was like you guys have slept on the beach for months like yeah you guys are like you're like this is great right yeah this is luxury right it's not it's not the beach at least you're not starving yeah sleeping in a cave with baths shitting on you yeah well next time next time you'll get the the place that matches this picture yeah just do something where you can read the reviews yeah of course i always read the reviews because there'll there'll be a couple people in there that tell you what's up yes and and you can't go with one person because then you're like you might just be hard to please yeah but if two or three people say you're like okay yes i even didn't google like what part of the island of sardinia to go to so we were in sort of the wrong part i thought it was a small island it's massive oh really there's two airports so we were really we were definitely did no research no research but we did we found amazing i got this i know i know and then like day one i'll stop talking in a minute but day one we were looking for um a restaurant and on the map i could see there's like 12 restaurants on the beach and so we walked down and we're going in every restaurant and it's like an indian restaurant and then a chinese restaurant and they're all buffets i'm like this is weird where's like where's like the italian like beach grill yeah finally we find an italian place that seats us and and it's also a buffet which is weird and we sit down and load up our plates and then a guy comes over and it's like you can't be here this is a resort and it turns out it's all like a monster resort and on the whole beach and then our villa's just outside the resort oh my gosh what did you do well we said okay what would you have us do we were like we've got food on our plates like we'll we're happy to pay for the meal yeah the kids were eating like a few chicken nuggets and some plain noodles like and he charged us a hundred euros per person so what the whole i know dude it was crazy and then we left and we went to walk back to the beach and the door was locked like there was a gate and we're like hey we got to get out to what and they were like no sorry we're like are you locking us in the resort it was crazy oh my god let us out but comedy of errors here i know the first two days i was just a wreck of anxiety but okay good great adventures yeah good good well that makes me happy yeah and part of it is good because she just laughs she part of just cackled at everything the whole time. Oh, that's good. You want to be with somebody that can, you know, make the most of any situation. Totally. Yeah. Let's hear some questions. All right. Let's do it. Hey, handsome pod. My name is Ivy and I'm a Seattle-based therapist. My question for you is if you could be a fly on the wall for anyone's therapy session, could be a friend, a famous person or a pet, who would it be and why? Obviously, there's some ethics for this question. You kind of have to ignore them, but I want to hear your answers. That client, uh, therapist privilege. Oh, that is really a great question. That's really good. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking the map before I go on a hike in a new area I haven't explored, but I thought was a one mile out and back has turned into a fly on the wall. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Five mile loop. I'm still a happy camper, but I'm also a very tired camper. Yeah. Checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. I mean, is it weird that I'd be kind of interested in TIGs? TIGs would be good. TIG would be really, like, I'm imagining her being pretty dry with the therapist, like. Right. Trying to crack a few jokes in the beginning. Yeah. And then just laying it all out. Yeah. I mean, they said dogs. I mean, if we're entering into this world in which a dog can talk and go to a therapist, then I'm obviously going to want to hear Biggie's therapy session. I want to as well. I want to hear what his voice sounds like. Do you have an idea? I never was able to pin down his voice. Yeah. Because, you know, some animals you can tell right away. Yes. He's a little bit more of an enigma. So that's why I'd be so curious. And then I would like to know, is he just in there being like, I have the best life. My feet barely touch the ground. I have all the food I could ever want. I'm well groomed. Or would he be like, I'm being smothered to death. Right. From the love of these two people. Get me out of here. Let me explore some dog's butts and go to a dog park every now and then. Well, he's never known anything different. I feel like in the like, almost like kids who just are given everything. He might find things to nitpick on. And you're like, maybe. No, I think he'd be deeply satisfied. But also he was found on the street. Oh, shit. Yeah. And he was around three. I imagine he was not on the street very long because he's so cute. He was found with another dog. And I would like to know, I would like for him to unload what happened during that time. Yeah. Who was the other dog? Yeah. Where did he come from? He wasn't chipped. He wasn't neutered. Whoa. What was his situation? That is interesting. So, yeah, I need Biggie to lay it out. I need Biggie to lay it all out for this therapist. Oh, that's a really good answer. Yeah. I'm going to, I guess I'll stick with Tig because I can't think of anyone. But other than that, yeah, maybe my brother. That would be, that would be cool. Anyone? Yeah. Yeah. Let's hear Ivy's answer. To answer my own question, I would love to listen in on Biggie's therapy session. I'm imagining he would have some complaints about not being fed human food. And I'm also wondering. I'm also wondering what his self-concept is. Like, does he know that he's a dog? Does he think he's the provider of the house? Does he think he's a person? And I also want to know what it's like having a fortune as a mommy. Oh. Thanks for answering. And I'm so glad each of you exist. Thank you for the pod. You've gotten me through some tough times. Keep it handsome. Well, sweet. Thanks, Ivy. I haven't seen him in a very long time. I hope he's good. I hope he's good. I think he'd bring that up in therapy for sure. I think he might as well. I think he'd have a few complaints. But I love the question of does he know he's a dog. I'm not sure about that. I don't think that he knows. I really don't. No. He definitely thinks he's bigger than he is. Really? Oh, he has no fear. He'll go right up to a big dog and just be like. Really? Oh, yeah. It's so terrifying. I like we'd run over and grab him. I once had a couple of dogs. I went to a couple's therapy session years ago and the therapist had a big Irish wolfhound dog in the there. She hadn't told us in advance. And it was like one of those giant dogs, like the size of a horse that was just in the room with us. It was like a fourth person. It was so big. It was really unsettling, actually. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, yeah, probably distracting. Yeah. I did bring Biggie to a couple therapy appointments with me. Did you? Yeah. Good. Back and forth. And, you know, last year I was like, do you care if my dog's with me? And she was like, no, please. It's supporting. Yeah, that's right. Let's hear another one. Hey, guys. My name is Izzy. I am calling for some relationship advice. I just recently went through a breakup with a long term partner. We were married and she broke up with me in kind of a fucked up way. But it's kind of all good now. Yeah. That just. So recently happened. And I have made the mistake of drunkenly confessing feelings or something to my best friend who's been with me 24 seven and has been there for me super, super deeply and emotionally. And I need advice on how to keep our relationship from feeling awkward off of that because we have such an awesome relationship. And neither of us are. We're in any position to be in any kind of relationship at all in that kind of way. And being best friends is so important. But, oh, I said some crazy, crazy stuff. And how do I keep it not awkward or talk about it in a normal way? Oh, man. Thank you, guys. I know you'll come in clutch. Oh, man. Wow. That's like soap opera. I want to know what the crazy, crazy stuff is. Well, I think you have to if you're if you're not in a place to be in that situation right now or either of you, maybe you just have to be like, sorry, you know, I'm just in a sensitive place is a state right now where I'm just kind of feeling everything. So I don't I mean, if it's, you know, your good friend and they'll understand. And if that's meant to transpire in a better time, I think it will. Yeah, I think so, too. But I think for now, you have to totally take it off the table so that they you guys can get like, I think you've got to lay it on. Not have that like elephant in the room. You've got to say exactly what you said to us. Just go. I was that was crazy. Just be like, I was probably projecting. I just got out of this thing and I would hate to lose our friendship. And then maybe hang out in a group a couple of times. Right. You know, get back in the swing of the friendship. But that is. Oh, yeah, that is tough. But it's better than texting your ex when you're drunk. True. Which is where I think I thought it was going at first. So because it sounds like you're already kind of moving on past that, which is, I guess, good. Right. There's nothing like a crush to to help you move on. So. Right. Yeah. So, yeah, maybe it was like a nice distraction for a minute. And then now you can just be like, oh, was it? This is crazy. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. It wouldn't be crazy if that actually happened. And then if, you know, like I said, if that's something that's meant to evolve in time, you know, there will be a time and place for that. Yeah. And all the more motivation to get yourself back on your feet and in a place where you could date someone. But, yeah, I think for now you've got to just be super brave and blunt and just. Bring in like address it. Just be like, yeah, I am so sorry about that. You know. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So there's not like this weird push pull kind of thing. And yeah. Also, maybe confide in multiple people, not just one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But also other outlets. Don't beat yourself up. Very human. Very normal. That's right. Yeah. Keep it handsome. Maybe keep it handsome. And maybe you were picking up on some vibes. I don't know. Yeah. That. That's true. We don't know. Yeah. Do we have time for one more? Yeah, I think so. Let's do it. Hi, guys. My name is Danielle. I'm from Nashville, Tennessee. I know you guys love Nashville and we love you. We do. I listen to you guys all the time and just want you to know that we are really good friends. We laugh. We cry. We have so much fun together. So thank you guys for what you do. So my question is about comedy. I work for a nonprofit. at animal rescue and uh we do a lot of you know sad stories you know there's some good ones in there too but i really want us to incorporate some comedy into our social media posts um so if you guys had a rescue what would you do to spice things up um we're foster based we're small and we're really working towards building followers and getting our adoption center um so if you'd like to shout out the rescue it is called rare rescue um if not you can bleep this out um let me know any creative ideas you might have for us to boost our followers and make people laugh and engage what if we were like we are not mentioning the name of this place that's rescuing animals yeah we bleeped it out um what a cool thing to do yeah my the first thing that popped into my head was if you let's say you've got a yeah dog then you and you film it sort of going about its business but you record a voiceover of its inner monologue maybe oh like that maybe having it talk yeah doing some funny voiceovers yeah various animals yeah almost as if the animals are are talking about their dream adopters maybe or also go on tiktok there's a lot of people that post their pets and they're really funny i get down these rabbit holes a lot of times and i'm like oh my god i'm going to be like oh my god i'm really funny i get down these rabbit holes all the time with funny animal stuff i think listen i'm not gonna lie seeing an animal uh pet in a costume always a treat that's true little hat if they don't mind and then you could play like shania twain in the background like let's go girls and that's true it's like a little chihuahua and a cowboy hat i mean i saw ready that's a winner already right i saw a thing that was you can buy for your cat and it goes sort of over their shoulders and it makes it look like they've got big human arms so they walk around it looks like they got it's really good um you could put some cats there's little tiger um faces you could put around them there's also tiktok challenges where you're like there's like audio that's on the tiktok involves an animal you know what i'm saying yeah yeah where they're like maybe the animal is just like doing something funny or making a funny face and there's that audio playing over it right all right tiktok and and instagram are the places that people go to uh for to look at animals and i do think social media does help people spread the word about um adoption uh with animals for sure but i will say too sometimes a tearjerker that's that gets people too like i love seeing sarah mclaughlin actually i love seeing sarah mclaughlin i love seeing sarah mclaughlin i love seeing sarah mclaughlin oh that was so bleak all through a school um but when you know when you see them with all their matted fur and you see the before and after i think oh yeah as long as you see the after a feel-good story a feel-good story yeah that's always good yeah you could have a feel good friday yeah post post uh someone a dog getting adopted and them like running to their new owner feel good friday i love it already that's good and you can have a feel-good friday and you post uh the new adoptions every week yeah um and people go oh my god i want that but i don't know i feel like danielle i feel like we're giving you some gold here gold i mean you could even uh you know homeward bound remember that movie oh yeah they didn't even move their mouths right they just had voices their mouths don't remember yeah move that it was real animals but they just had like like you could do a whole story you could do like an elizabethan story you could do like an elizabethan story you could do like an elizabethan story you lesbian romance between oh okay chihuahuas or something yeah listen i think we're i think we were off to a good start here start with these and then let those inspire other content because certain animals might start to become popular and then it'll lead to a feel-good friday because they've been adopted yeah or uh they get signed with an agent yeah they might they might become um i think yeah just uh utilizing the the socials of it all uh to help get these animals a home but thank you for what you're doing yeah rare rescue facilitate that yeah next time we're in nashville we should go pet some animals that's right we already had cats show up at our kittens at our show in la for the aspca that was so good that was cute well another very pretty little episode that's right loved it loved it as always keep sending in your questions uh or if you need any advice in your life uh speakpipe.com handsome pod uh we love to hear from you yeah you got stuff coming up fortune you're on tour um yeah tonight i'm in uh greenville south carolina then tomorrow night in wilmington north carolina boise's coming up portland oregon austin chattanooga dayton and uh shows i like how you say lou lou louisville yeah that's right durham madison wisconsin i'm all over it and check out uh maymartin.net i think for for uh and or just social media for any shows i'm doing i'm sure there'll be some oh my god that's right it sounds bleak but i'm working on uh new stuff love it yeah and until next time keep it pretty handsome handsome is hosted by me may martin tignotaro and fortune feimster the show is produced recorded and edited by thomas willett email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsome pod what a podcast that was a hate gun podcast checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance not checking my stand-up set before the show for references to our podcast that's an oversight i can't tell the story about a phantom without my audience members yelling out yeah ghost and it's a little distracting but you can't take the handsome out of our loyal listeners yeah checking first is handsome so check all state first for an auto quote it could save you hundreds you're in good hands with all state potential savings vary subject to terms conditions and availability all state North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.